Nebraska Newspapers

    i
At Jt
Giisrrg Countg Independent
VALENTINE
NEBRASKA
A Buffalo woman snapped a ioaaea
revolver at her husband for i joke
He never saw It at all
A Bangor Me woman went into a
drug store in that town and asked foi
a bottle of that Monroe docterin
Even the children cry for it
Gothams latr st census shows that
there are lir4 women in Xew York eii v
who dont know how old they are Prob
ably there are not so many who wiU
tell
Lieut Peary says he found the Ice
landers a cordial and familiar peo
ple Our school geographers had
taught us to believe they were cold
and distant
A dispatch from St Joseph Mo says
The policemen are patrolling the cem
eteries Thats all right some of
those hustling Westerners have to be
watched for awhile after they are
dead
Paderewski has a magnilicent touch
there can be no doubt of that Thir
teen thousand live hundred dollars for
two matinee recitals Theres noth
ing the matter with that sort of box
office technique
An Oakland Gal paper has far out
stripped such delilers of the language
as the inventors of Sundayed sui
cided enthused and the numerous
perverters who fatuously think that
lurid means red It has brought back
the atrocity debuted
Because his horses could not pull his
wagon out of the snow on South Water
street at Chicago Emil Ran the driver
lashed them until he was tired
After resting a while he went at
it again but was compelled to desist
by one of his horses which kicked him
Into a snow bank and broke his leg
It is one of the mysteries of nature why
some animals particularly the horse
are not conscious of their strength If
more of them were and when the op
portunity presented itself would retal
iate in kind there would be fewer bru
tal drivers Mr Rau may learn a use
ful leson during his hospital confine
nient if he is so disposed
A prominent citizen of Philadelphia
Mr J C Strawbridge has waked up
to a realizing sense of the fact that that
city has no fitting memorial of Ben
jamin Franklin though the old philoso
pher was so intimately associated with
it Mr Strawbridge therefore has
given a commission to the sculptor
John J Boyle of the same city to pre
pare a model of a bronze statue to cost
10000 its artistic merit to be decided
by a jury of three well known artists
The Pine Arts League of the city will
select the site It is gratifying that a
similar commission recently given in
Chicago by one of its citizens has rous
ed slow going Philadelphia to a sense
of its deficiency in this respect Of all
cities in the United States it is the one
which should commemorate the career
of Franklin
Ilis honor the president of the Trans
vaal will not trek to Loudon The
Boers were at the point of the cape fif ty
years ago The compatriots of Mr Jo
seph Pushful drove them out more by
bad manners than by violent arms
They moved north step by step trek
king as they call it their families and
chattels through the desert to escape
mere contact with the outlander They
braved the assegais of the savage
fought bargained cheated lied and
massacred after the manner of pioneers
They won their empire from the abor
igine and they have shown by Majuba
Hill and Krugersdorp that they can
hold it against the alien Why should
Kruger go to London to confab with
the pushful person The experience
of the King of Ashantee may be in his
mind That potent monarch having
been invaded by the advance guard of
British civilization consented to parley
with the governor of the Gold coast
and was whipped off from his capital
while the ambassadors whom he had
dispatched to Downing street were
ironed and sent to prison It is a long
trek from Pretoria to London The
Boer has made his last journey
The failure of the oil steamer Wild
flower which sailed from Philadelphia
for Rouen on Dec 11 to reach her des
tination or to turn up at auv known
port lends probability to the rcporP
that she has been destroyed with all on
board by an explosion of the oil which
constituted her cargo The sudden
glare in the sky followed by the dtdl
roar of a heavy explosion reported by
the captain of the Loch Etive on the
night of Jan 5 off the coast of Ireland
describes the familiar phenomenon at
tending oil tank explosions and to
those familiar with fires in the oil re
gions will be accepted as evidence of
the fate of the missing steamer Fires
and even explosions at sea were not
unknown to the oil trade when all ex
port oil was shipped in barrels or cases
Petroleum is an inflammable sub
stance whether confined in a gallon
case a fifty gallon barrel a
iron tank or a million gallon bulk
steamer It generates an explosive gas
more easily ignited than gunpowder
In a vessel loaded with petroleum in
cases or barrels a fire would cause a
series of continuous explosions until
ship and cargo were entirely consum
ed A fire on board a tank steamer
would be followed by one tremendous
explosion which would destroy ship
and crew simultaneously The fire and
explosion might be caused by a bolt
of lightning which is the most proliGc
source of oil fires and explosions in the
producing regions or a spark flame or
lamp of any kind might become the
agent of ignition on board It did not
require the now almost certain fate of
the tank steamer Wildflower to con
vince those familiar with petroleum
and its inflammable nature that the
tank steamer was no improvement up
on the old methods of shipping oil iir
the matter of safety from fire and ex
plosion at sea The tank steamer has
doubtless reduced the cost of transpor
tation materially it has not reduced
the fire risks There will be explosions
at sea as long as oil is a subject of
ocean freightage and the chances of
explosion have been increased rather
than otherwise by the adoption of the
bulk method of transportation
The Supreme Court of Ilinois has re
cently decided a case which is of a good
deal of importance both to railroads
and to the traveling public In the
southern part of the State is a road
known as the Cairo Short Line a
branch of which fifty miles long runs
from Duquoin to Eldorado the busi
ness on the branch being so small that
the company ran only what are known
as mixed trains made up of freight
and passenger cars The people living
along the line of the road applied to
the State Railroad Commissioners to
order the company to run one train a
day each way exclusively for passen
gers and the order was issued The
railroad company denied the right of
the board to issue such an order and
the case went to the Supreme Court
which affirmed the order of the Com
missioners The Court held that rail
roads are creatures of law and are in
trusted with their powers to promote
public interests and are therefore
bound to conduct their affairs in fur
therance of the publici objects of their
creation The Court held that it can
not be said that the carrying of pas
sengers in a car attached to a freight
train is a suitable and proper opera
tion of a railroad so far as the carriage
of passengers is concerned While
this decision will be appreciated by
many persons who have had to submit
to being drawn across the country in
mixed trains at the rate of ten miles
an hour not including interminable
stops at way stations while freight is
being loaded and transferred it is a
fact that many Western roads do not do
a sufficiently large passenger business
to warrant the running of passenger
trains This is a matter that a com
pany ought to have considered when it
asked for a charter but having re
ceived privileges from the public such
a company ought not to be permitted
to treat the people as if they had no
rights in exchange for the franchise
they have given Nor ought the com
pany to subordinate the conveyance of
passengers to the transportation of
freight The Court held very properly
that carrying first class passengers on
a freight train was not in accordance
with the laws of the State of Illinois
nor with the rights of its people
STUCK TO SPARTAOUS STORY
Congressman Hopkins Conld Not See
the Jokers Point
Mr Hopkins of Illinois is not alto
gether inaccessible to the subtlety of a
joke but in the main the tawny haired
statesman is disposed to be serious
and grave Updegraff is a dry joker
and Lacey of Iowa is always bubbling
over with the spirit of merriment
Some time ago while Hopkins and
Lacey were smoking in the house
cloakroom the conversation drifted to
the subject of gladiators and Hopkins
in his serious way began to extol the
martial achievements of one Spartacus
not unknown to most readers from
juveniles up to gray haired statesmen
in connection with at poem beginning
Ye call me chief And jre do well to
call him chief who for twelve long
years etc
You can talk about gladiators in
tones of contempt said Hopkins but
Spartacus was a great general
Updegraff was half asleep stretched
out on the lounge within ear shot He
caught Hopkins remark and drawled
out
Youre mistaken about that Hop
kins That wasnt Spartacus at all
but Cantharides
Oh no said Hopkins it was
Spartacus
I tell you it was Cantharides in
sisted Updegraff provokingly I know
what Im talking about
Updegraff and Lacey soon after left
the cloakroom and took their seats
Updegraff knew Hopkins was right
But it amused him to be perverse So
far as Cantharides was concerned it
was the first word that popped into his
mind The two had occupied their
seats but a liitle while when Hopkins
marched down the aisle with Anthons
classical dictionary He banged it
down on Updegraffs desk and pointed
to the history of Spartacus for verifica
tion of his assertion
Updegraff looked at it then at Hop
kins and in very dry tones said
Thats right That dictionary is re
sponsible for that cock and bull story
There it is sure enough But I pre
sumed while it had misled so many
you Hopkins couldnt be taken in by
that kind of authority
Hopkins looked at him for a moment
In blank amazement at such a display
of human perversity closed the book
in disgust and stalked up the aisle
Washington Post
Officer What did you want sir
Citizen Somebody has stolen my
watch and I want you to hunt the ras
cal up and give him the key to it It
raises the mischief with a watch to let
it run down you know Boston Tran
scrit
Gotrox I think young Cheekly is a
foreign nobleman in disguise Wig
wagWhat makes you think so Got
rox Well he has succeeded in borrow
ing a thousand dollars from me and
now he wants to marry my daughter
gWttWiitggi
rt Jiircr
V
LITTLE MAID-O-DREAMS
Little Maid-O-Dreams with your
Eerie eyes so clear and pure
Gazing where we fain would see
Into far futurity
Tell us what you there behold -In
your visions manifold
What is on beyond our sight
Bidding till the morrows light
Fairer than wc see to day
As our dulleyes only may
Little Maid-O-Dreams with face
Tf3rTrTSfTxn2rs
5
Like as in some woodland place
Lifts a lily chaste and white
From the shadow to the light
Tell us by your subtler glance
AVhat strange sorcery enchants
You as unw here yet afar
As the realms of moon and star
Have you magic lamp and ring
And genii for vassoling
Little Maid-O-Dreams confess
Youre divine and nothing less
For with mortal palms we fear
Yet must pot you dreaming here
Yearning too to lift the tips
Of your fingers to our lips
Fearful still you may rebel
High and Heavnly oracle
Thus though all unmeet our kiss
Pardon this and this and this
A
t
7
Little Maid-O-Dreams we call
Truce and favor knowing all
AH your magic is in truth-
t
Pure foresight and faith of youth
Youre a cbild yet even so
Youre n sage in embryo
Prescient poet artist great
As your dreams anticipate
Trusting God and man you do
Just as Heaven inspires you to
-Ladies Home Journal
A FANCY FAIli
Couldnt we get up a subscription
or something for the widow
Of course we must do something in
ones own hotel it is too dreadful and
Mrs Wildover shuddered and her com
panions did the same in fact the whole
Hotel de Flandres had had its withers
wrung and its nerves shaken in a sin
gularly ghastly fashion One of rite
waiters while handing around a dish
at the dejeuner had suddenly turned
white reeled and then in sight of all
the guests fallen down in a heap upon
the polished floor
Yes we must undoubtedly do some
thing continued Mrs Wildover but
its a pity it cant be something mote
general than a subscription among our
selves Couldnt we organize some
kind of a benefit of entertainment
A fancy fair exclaimed two or
three ladies in a breath
It would be a splendid idea But
who is to organize it
Oh you you Mrs Wildover
do
Mrs
Oh
able I-
Wildover smiled modestly
but Im afraid I shouldnt
Oh
be
Yes yes you would
But youll all help wont you
asked the lady looking around I
think well keep it strictly among our
selves only the English ladies of the
hotel must be allowed to take an active
part in the bazaar
Her audience gave a rapid assent
and Mrs Wildover immediately plung
ed into plans and projects Mrs Wild
over was fat 40 and thanks to True
fitt also fair but had there not existed
a meek tiinid ejed little creature
known as Mrs Wildovers husband it
is certain that she could have had as
many suitors as she wished for Mrs
Wildover was ridiculously fabulously
rich The fact had come upon her as
rather a surprise some half dozen
years earlier when she had fainted
on her drawing room sofa in the little
house at Peckham after reading a law
yers letter which informed her that an
almost forgotten uncle in America had
died leaving her not only his whole
fortune but his share in some petro
leum springs down country
From that moment it had been Mrs
Wildovers not unnatural desire to soar
above the musical evenings and card
parties of Peckham and New Cross
She went everywhere was indefatiga
ble in all charitable undertakings her
shrewdness telling her that they often
proved the thin edge of the society
wedge Now at the Hotel de Flan
dres there was staying at this particu
lar moment a singularly beautiful dowager-countess
a lady most popular in
London society and one whose broad
wings could and they would help poor
Mrs Wildover in her flight
Do you suppose Lady Lothair would
help us she asked tentatively No
body seemed quite sure but everyone
thought that Mrs Wildover would ask
her
Lady Lothair was cordial and sympa
thetic promised to attend the fair and
even volunteered to allow some of her
photographs to be sold there In fact
plump Mrs Wildover who was usually
very sure of the ground she trod on
scarcely felt her feet as she left Lady
Lothairs room It was the beginning
ot her success she thought and think
ing so she collided heavily with some
one coming in the opposite direction
I beg your pardon
Indeed it was my fault
And both passed on in their several
directions
The person who had gone to the wall
in the collision was a slight girl dressed
in deep mourning She turned into a
door to her left and closing it behind
her tossed her hat petulantly on to the
table
Is that 3ou Nell called a voice
from the balcony
Yes come in I want to talk to you
The other woman entered She also
was dressed in deep mourning
Whats the matter she asked
glancing at her companion
Nothing more than usual Why will
you insist on staying here and like
this its awful
You are always so impatient Nell
I tell you that
A sharp knock at the door interrupt
ed her Entrez called the girl enrt
ly and then to both womens astonish
ment the big form of Mr3 Wlldofeji
loomed upon them
Can you spare me five minutes Mrs
Seyntonr asked she beamingly
2 certainly Do sit down said
Mrs Seymour while Nell drew for
ward a chair
Ive come to ask you if you would
care to help us continued Mrs Wild
over as she proceeded to unfold the
scheme of the fair
Mrs Seymour and her daughter had
been at the Hotel de Flandres for over
a week but somehow they seemed to
have assimilated with none of the sets
Perhaps their deep mourning isolated
them as it prevented their joining the
cercle des etrangers but Mrs Wild
over felt that it would be sweet and
condescending of her to take them un
der her protection and to patronize
them
And now what will you both do
concluded the good lady beaming on
them good naturedly Will you take
a stall Miss Seymour or will you sing
in the concert or play or what
Miss Seymour hesitated and glanced
at her mother lm afraid my sing
ing and playing dont amount to much
she began but -
But she dances nicely Mrs Wild
over if that is of any use to you
Mrs Wildover gave a little gasp and
then suddenly recollected that skirt
dancing was one of the recognized ac
complishments
That will be charming she ex
claimed And you dont think you will
be nervous
Nell shook her head decidedly
Then thats all right And wont
you help us at all Mrs Seymour
Oh Ill sell programs take tickets
anything you like replied the lady
laughing make myself generally use
ful in fact
Well anyway thats something to
do exclaimed the girl Avhen their vis
itor had departed
Exactly
But whether the game is worth the
candle whether its worth while vege
tating here for a fortnight for the
pleasure of showing ones ankles at a
fancy fair Im sure I dont know
Neither do I as yet my dear Wait
till the time comes Well soon see
But you are certainly right in one
thing Nell black does not show you
off
The girl gave something between
a grunt and a laugh and glanced at
herself in the long mirror the invaria
ble adjunct to an apartment in a for
eign hotel
She was tall and very slight with a
clear colorless complexion and crisp
red hair her eyes were heavily lidded
and when she took the trouble to raise
them they were of a curious changeful
tone In her black gown no one would
have called her pretty yet to an ob
server there were great possibilities
about her She recognized the fact bet
ter than most people and therefore
there was some excuse for her petulant
turn from the glass
Mrs Seymour on the other hand
was short and plump and comfortable
looking neither plain nor pretty and
gifted with little appealing helpless
ways which usually stood her in very
good stead indeed
I wish you would not sit smiling
there like that ejaculated Nell im
patiently I cant see what you want
ed to come to Spa for
I am consumed with a desire to
make Mrs Wildovers acquaintance
quietly replied her companion
Then why on earth
Hush said Mrs Seymour Let
us go down to the salon and talk about
the fancy fair
For a week little else was spoken of
among the English colony at Spa In
all likelihood Mrs Wildover had never
been so happy in her life She spent
her whole time in bustling and fussing
among her helpers and the name of
Lady Lothair was scarcely ever off her
lips Her constant companion and
right hand was little Mrs Seymour
I really dont know what I could
do without you she said on the even
ing preceding the eventful day You
seem to think of everything dear Mrs
Seymour
Oh I am so pleased to be of use to
you in anyway exclaimed her com
panion eagerly and so is Nellie
Has her dress arrived asked Mrs
Wildover
Yes I fancy she is trying it on now
Would you care to see it
With good humored condescension
Mrs Wildover agreed but she started
back with a cry of genuine amazement
when Mrs Seymour threw open her
sitting room and she realized that it
was indeed that insignificant girl in
black who stood before her
She saw a vision of diaphanous dra
peries a maze of flimsy silk and lace
and a face pale as a lilly but radiant
under a glory of bright hair
WThy why my dear girl I never
realized how lovely you were before
exclaimed the good lady as she sank
into a seat
Nell made some demure reply and ex
ecuted a few graceful steps
Your gown is perfect my dear per
fect
Oh no it isnt said Nell with a
laugh It wants your diamonds Mrs
Wildover to be that she added with
a glance at the beautiful stones lavish
ly displayed on the ladys ample bosom
Let us try the effect said Mrs Wild
over graciously
In a second the girls white throat
and arms were gleaming and flashing
I will lend them to you if you like
and 3ou must have some for your hair
too Ill send them to you to morrow
Miss Seymours thanks can easily be
imagined and Mrs Wildover felt more
like a beneficent fairy than ever The
Whole town would be raving about the
little English dancer to morrow and it
would be to Mrs Wildover that all the
credit would come
When she left mother and daughter
together both sat for a moment silent
Do you suppose she will really lend
them asked Nell doubtfully
Why not r
r w iijijsgattgMasscs
TIipii
Then my dear child I suppose you
win be a little reconciled to our vege
tation
The girl laughed and the mother be
gan to turn over a Bradshaw in a
businesslike fashion
The fancy hair was not to be opened
until the evening A great number of
tickets had been sold and there was
quite an imposing list of figures in the
account book Mrs Seymour carried for
she had arranged to relieve Mrs Wild
over of all the mere business part of
the affair and was really secretary and
treasurer rolled into one
Do you know that Harry is here
exclaimed Nell in a low voice as she
burst into Mrs Seymours room on the
afternoon of the great day
Of course he is I sent for him
But
How silly jou are Nell You are
delicate I could not allow 3011 to dance
unless there were an efficient medical
man on the spot Suppose 3ou were to
faint
But if Harrv forms one of our
party
That would be absurd no he will
merely be there in case of an emer
gency
At that moment Mrs Wildovers maid
appeared at the door with her mis
tresses compliments and several mo
rocco cases and a message that that
lady would like to see Miss Se3mour
when she was quite readj
You are positivety charming my
dear ejaculated Mrs Wildover when
the girl stood before her dressed and
let me tell you that you look worth
more hundreds of pounds than you
have lived years
It soon became apparent that the at
traction of the fair was in the little
3ellow curtained booth where a stage
had been erected and where several
people were content to crowd together
and endure the efforts of several sing
ers in order to enjoy the sight of Miss
Seymours dancing Nothing was
spoken of but her grace her charm and
the magnificent diamonds which Mrs
Wildover had lent her
Mrs Se3rmour had however been so
busy looking after other people taking
charge of their stalls during their tem
porary absences that it was late before
she was able to get near the place
where her daughter was dancing for
the sixth or seventh time
The mother stood just inside the door
conspicuous in the black gown which
she still wore Nell was floating across
the stage her draperies weaving fan
tastic figures around her when sud
denly her steps grew uncertain her
arms dropped limply to her side and
she fell like a log upon the stage
A cry ran through the little booth
Mrs Seymour pushed quickly for
ward
She has fainted she cried in
alarm A doctor Is there no one who
will fetch a doctor
I am at your service madam said
a young man making his way rapidly
to the stage
The next moment he had raised the
fainting girl in his arms and was carry
ing her to some quiet spot Everyone
was lost in pity for the poor widow
who was beside herself with grief and
alarm
In a ver3 short time however a mel
ancholy little procession left the bazaar
by a side entrance The men carried
the still unconscious girl on a species
of improvised hammock and Mrs Sey
mour and the doctor walked sadly by
her side They all entered the hotel
the servants placed her on the bed and
then the doctor declared that they
could do nothing more for their patient
The3T were in fact few hands to be
spared and the busy hotel keeper was
delighted when Mrs Seymour declined
all offers of help and declared that she
would nurse her daughter herself
It was fully 2 oclock in the morning
when the strange doctor left the hotel
the night porter who let him out asked
for news of mademoiselle Her med
ical attendant shook his head
Dont let anybody go bothering there
in he morning to inquire after her ev
erything depends on keeping her quiet
At midda3 however Mrs Wildovei
would take no further denial and in
sisted on going to inquire for her
friends Several time she knocked in
effectually at last growing alarmed
she tried the door It was locked
After considerable delay the door had
to be forced open and white as death
Mrs Wildover rushed in before anyone
else It was indeed her cry which
made the others follow her with a rush
expecting they hardly knew what trag
ic spectacle As a matter of fact noth
ing met their eyes but a couple of
mournirg costumes neatly folded on a
chair and the diaphanous dancing
dress lying in a heap on the floor For
the rest nothing nobody
The astonishment was so great that
it was fully a minute before anyone
grasped the situation
Gott in himmel My bill They
are swindlers gasped the hotel-keeper
finding his wits first
Swindlers ejaculated Mrs Wild
over Ah my diamonds
Everyone gazed at her speechless in
a moment the whole thing was as clear
as noonda3 and in the confusion of
the fair their mourning garb doffed
they had escaped and won a good
twelve hours start
Mrs Wildover startled everyone by
a peal of hearty laughter
Shes mad screamed one in horror
The loss of her diamonds has turned
her head
The diamonds she gasped after a
second Thats just it I left them at
my bankers in London Those the girl
had were paste
No one ever quite knew what the
exact figure of the receipts of the fancy
fair amounted to Mrs Seymour might
have told but she omitted to leave her
account book and cash box behind
And one thing is tolerably certain
that never again will Mrs Wildover in
terest herself in widows or orphans at
a continental hotel London world
OLD GLORY LIVES ON
ilow Perpetual Life Is Secured for the
Capitol Building Flajrs
It is a question which no one can an
swer what becomes of the flags which
fly session after session over the two
houses of Congress The life of a flag
exposed at such a height to the tatter
ing winds natural cannot be long
Every now and then after a storm a
great rent is seen in Old Glory as it
proclaims from the housetop that our
statesmen are deliberating Sometimes
the edges 01113- are frayed Sometimes
a stripe is gone or perhaps half the
stars ma3 be torn away Then in a
day or two it flies again with all its
stripes and its stars as if it had never
suffered by the storm
I asked what became of the old flags
Nobody knew
What do you do with them
Nothing
They are the same flags that is there
are no new ones The old flags are
simpry mended There is a patriotic
poem in this Old Gfory has a per
petual life that is the Old J lory that
presides over the Capitol When a
stripe bloAvs away a now one is put in
its place and the same old flag is pulled
to the head of the staff If it is the blue
field and stars that is gone this is repro
duced If onl3 a rent it is darned if
a hole it is patched Then another
stripe goes and a new one is added
So on the old portions are blown away
the newer standing until the new be
comes the old hi turn and tears away
and in endless evolution the old flag
lives on It is always the same flag but
from 3ear to 3ear its entire texture is
changed and the small bits are blown
away by the winds and other small
bits take their place There is no grave
jard for Old Gloiy If has perpetual
life No one can tell when the flag
which floats over the Senate was
bought It is still a perfect flag but
no part of what was first drawn to the
masthead is now in existence Wash
ington Star
It Is Not Heaven
The editor of a paper in the wild
West which is paid lov in corn when
the subscribers are obliged to pay
gleefull3 tells of a countiy editor who
died of starvation and was b5ing escort
ed to heaven by an angel who had been
sent out for that purpose MajT look
at the other place before I ascend to
eternal happiness Easil3 said the
angel So they went below and skirm
ished around taking in the sights The
angel lost track of the editor and went
around hades to hunt him He found
him sitting b3 a furnace fanning him
self and gazing witli rapture upon the
lot of people in the fire There was a
sign on the furnace which said De
linquent Subscribers Come said
the angel we must be going Yon
go on said the editor Im not com
ing This is heaven enough for me
There ma3 be something in this
Thoughtful people have often wondered
bow they could bo able to enjoy heaven
when conscious that so whom
the3 dearl3T love in spite of their
wickedness would be suffering eternal
punishment in another place where
the tears of the good could not put out
the fires that were scorching the pick
ed and many affectionate people have
wished the3 could dare doubt ie
theoiy of endless damnation and re
main respected in a hard shelled coni
nninitj simply on account of their
friends On the other hand it is feared
man3 more selfish people who are
good not for goodness sake are an
ticipating that their greatest delights
in heaven will be found when they can
look over the pearl and golden battle
ments into that torrid and eternal place
and see their enemies writhing and
roasting and be able to tell them I
told you so New Orleans Picayune
Uncle Sam Brother Jonathan
Brother Jonathan is the older charac
ter During the revolution Jonathan
Trumbull was governor of Connecticut
and a close friend and adviser of Wash
ington The latter would often refer
matters to Brother Jonathan for his
advice so in time the expression Ill
ask Brother Jonathan about it be
came a saying in the army and from
the army extended over the country
During the war of 1S12 Elbert Ander
son an army contractor bought a
large quantity of provisions in Troj
One of the inspectors there was Samuel
Wilson known generally as Uncle Sam
As he passed on each barrel he marked
it E A U S for Elbert Anderson
United States Some one asked what
the letters meant A bystander sug
gested that the3 stood for Elbert An
dersonUncle Sam The joke took
among the workmen of whom en
tered the army and carried it with
them In time like Brother Jona
than it spread over the county
A Worthy Invention
An enterprising English journal says
To decide between the deserving and
the undeserving poor is no eas3 task
The Americans have devised a plan of
doing so mechanically In various parts
of the country automatic alms distribu
tors have been set up A handle is con
nected with some machinery such as
will store electricity for instance in an
accumulator or perhaps grind coffee
and after turning this for a certain
length of time a penny is thrown out
to the operator These machines are
alread3 popular Instead of putting a
in the slot and receiving in ex
change the product of some one elses
work you put in your own work and
take out another persons Of
a truth the idea is worthy of imitation
in this countr3
Uncle John I am afraid Henry that
you will never make much progress in
the world with your indifferent easy
going wa3s The secret of success
Henry is hard work Henry Yes 1
suppose so Uncle John but you know
I never did care much about other peo
ples secrets Boston Transcript
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