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TICKLE :
6RASS
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BYRON WILLIAm (
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Diagnosing a Case.
'TIR strange how like n very Junco ,
tilln , with his bumps upon his ! sconce ,
das lived 80 long , and yet no knowledge
he
rn8 : hlu1 , till lately , or Phrenology-
L science that by simple dint or
eut1 combing he should find a hint or ,
When 8crutchlng o'er these little IJolc.-
hills
rho tacultlcs thrown up like mole hills. "
-Hood.
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For every pink tea In this world
there Is at least one course of aloe
soup. Bobbing along a Wisconsin
countryside In an electric car , an af-
mcted and aged ( farmer was the cynosure .
ure of all eyes His lower lip , eaten
nnd distorted by a malignant growth ,
was most nauseating to the ordinary
nbserver. Yet affliction has Its fascination .
lion to the unamlcted , and the passengers . I .
gers started.
With the freedom of the rural districts .
trlcts a passenger elicited the information .
matlon that the doctors had disagreed
In diagnosis of the affliction. One
said It was a cancer and another
vowed It was not. One thought It was
scrofula and seven others who took
the old man's money for torturing
him , declined to put themselves on
record.
When Mr. Buttlnsld boarded the
car , ho began to butt Immediately.
"What's that on your lip , uncle ? "
making n grab for the farmer's chin.
"How long have you had It ?
"NIne years ? Can't be a cancer ,
then , or It would have eaten you up
by that time , " examining the ulcerous
parts cnrefully.
The passengers listcned.
1\1ust bo a doctor , " said one traveling .
Ing man to another.
"I'll tell you : what that Is , " bawled
1\11' " ' "
DuttlnBlcl , "that's scrofula !
The passengers were all attention
The farmer was visibly Impressed.
"What shall I do for it ? " ho asked
helplessly.
"No way to cure that , only to live
right ! Eat rIght ! Er"-l1otlng his
nudlenco--"of course it be
may a can-
cer , " still fingering the old man's
head ; "I don't know about that. I'm
not a doctor , you Bce. I'm only a
hend.reader , a 11hrenologlst I feel of
tho-- "
thoHoro
Here time blatant 1\11' Duttlnslcl
caught the disgusted look of the audience .
enco and stopped short , just ns the fat
traveling man blurted out :
"A head.reader ? Gracious ! I thought
you were at least a pIano-tuner ! "
The crowd , laughed approvingly , but
the farmer , poor devil , sat stolidly
mute and sorrowful ! Another diagnosis .
nosls had gone wrong !
Unduly PreJudiced.
#
B1ngs-Wh Is Brown so prejudiced
against automobiles ?
Wlngs-Ho was out in his auto with
1 0
c
THAT WAS WHY.
a young woman one day and ho asked
her to marry him.
Binga-Well , she accepted him
didu"t she ?
. .
Wtl ra--Yes ; that"s the reason !
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TICKLI :
6RASS
SY
BYRON W1LLlA.I'1j
w
'Twas Ever Thus.
Seeno--Slx little girls playing on
the village green
"Ob , Goodness ! " with n sbriel ; :
"Loole there , girls ! Lookee ! "
"He's coming this way !
"Ob , my !
"He's running !
"Oh , dear ! " wailing. "He's catch-
lng-us ! " panting.
"Oh , Oil ! Now-you-just-stop-
that ! Oh I" ! with n shrill cry that
startles the neighbors for hloclts.
"Oh , dear ! Boo.hoo ! " .
Chorus-"Doo-hoo ! " Tears , more
tears ! Shrieks !
Then n man's voice calls out
from Brown's raspberry bushes :
"Here , ; you ! What are you doing
to those girls ? "
"Aw , g'wan ! I ain't doln' nothln' to
th' frald.cals ! " and little Johnnie
Drown throws a dead garter snake
across Smith's barbell.wlre fence and
slinks away down the alley !
It is when wo get these glimpses of
- / % " - . .
( : ! ) . . . -
,
4 . \ vI
X1 1.1'C , - ,
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HalT AWAY FROM \lE : : ! "
boyhood that wo are reminded of
Dyron's excerpt :
"A little curly.hea , good-for-noth-
lug ,
And mischief-malting monkey from
his birth. "
In the Soft Moonlight.
They were alone !
And In a hammock ; : at that !
The playful zephyrs rolllclted In the
moonlight and blow the loose l tresses
of her hair so riotously they tickled
his ear !
He felt that he was In danger , but
he would not declare himself. She II I
I .
said nothing. The owl called weirdly
from the scraggly monarch on the
hili. The lake chattered , and , at time
dock , the boat chains grumbled ! Far
away ho heard a bow.wow bark and
the tinkle of n bovine bell !
- Still she said nothing !
He did not look at her. Ho dared
not. Yet he know what n pretty picture -
ture she was making as the moonlight
ravished her face for kisses !
But , 110 ! Ho would remain firm.
Ho--
HoShe
She stirred sllghtl
He gave no heed.
"Jaclt , " In a quiet , conquered spirit.
"Jacle , 'ou- "
He turned toward her patronizingly.
- "You ma-put- 'our-arm-
undcr-m-head-If-you- "
But , after all , this Is none of our
business.
"Oh Love ! young Love ! bound In thy rosy
band :
Let sago or cynic prattle ns ho will ,
These hours , and only these , redeem Ute'
years ot Ill "
There may be no trot lines In the
liquid depths ot my lady's eyes , yet
the Incautious will strike allured
more entangling.
A young married man , who thinks
his wife is made ot uncommon clay ,
usually wakes up when she begins to
SDOre.
BOTH DIED ON FATEFUL DAY
-
Coincidence , In the Passing of Adam.
and Jefferson. -
.July 4 , 1826 , the fiftieth anniversary ; ;
of the signIng of the declaration of in
dependence , was a joyous occasion In
the United States Two distinguished
signers were still alive-John Adams
and Thomas .1efferson. Twent.flyt
years hud elapsed since Adams was
president and seventeen since Jefferson .
son left the white house. "On that
day , " says Charles Francis Adams hI
his biography of hIs grandfather ,
"from one end of the country to the
other , wherever Americans were gathered .
ered together , the names of Adams
and Jefferson were coupled In accents
of gratitude and praise. Party passions .
slons were completely drowned In the
flood of national feeling which overspread .
spread the land. " Says SIr George
Otto Trevel'an : "All day long Ad
ams was sinking rapidly and without
pain. His last audible remark Is said
to have been , 'Thomas Jefferson still
survives. ' But such was not the case
Jefferson died at noon on that Fourth
of July and Adams shortly before sun
set. There are few more striking circumstances .
cumstances and no more remarkable
coincidences In hlstorr. "
Thief's Markings.
kdtcr1\
at . L
S/l ' ' '
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The modern Fagin will not train a
boy In pocket picking unless he has
these strongly marked mounts in his
hand.
Stingless Bees Not Likely.
Agriculturists have been experimenting .
mentlng to determine whether a comparatively .
paratlvely rare stingless bee that is
. native to North and South : America
could be bred to replace the common
honey bee The former , according to
these Investigators , was found to use
no wax In the construction of the
nests , and the honey stored by them
Is greatly Inferior to that of the conm-
mon honey bee. The domestication
or this species , apparently , does not
look very promisIng
For Pure Milk
' Y
' f I
+ M !
In this apparatus for the home pasteurization .
teurlzatlon of milk the bottles are
placed In the cylinders and time surrounding .
rounding recept'aclo filled with boiling
water. When this has cooled cold
water is turned on as on the right ,
and the ml111t rapidly cooled.
.
Newly Discovered Cavern.
A new cavern , rivaling In beauty
the one at Luray and Wier's Cave and
the Cave of Fountains at Shcndun ,
Va. , has been discovered in Shenan-
doah county , Virginia , near Wood-
stock. The discovery was made by
'lccldent. Workmen were taking limestone .
stone from a quarry at Tom Brook ,
and in blasting the stone the entrance
to the cave was opened. As yet the
cavern has only been explored for
about 175 feet , but the portion that
has been visited Is filled with the
most beautiful limestone formations
and contains large chambers Preparations .
rations are being made to explore It
thorougbly.
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YOUNG MASTERS OF MUSIC )
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Genius In That Line Seems to Awaken
E a rcy. ; I
The accounts of Master Danowsld , \
who at the mature age of 8 has been
conducting a full orchestra at Bourne-
/0
mouth , England , In a military march r , . p ,1 J
of his own composition , casually remarked - . " x ,
marked afterward that he had written" ) : I
It several years ago "when he was \
quite roung" : suggests a question
which Is worthy of more attention \
than it has received. Why are genu
Inc musical prodIgies comparatively
common , whereas in other branches I
of art they arc practically nonexistent .
1
ent ? 'Ve say "genuine" because it Is
undoubtedly the case that while of -
course not every precocIous musician
Is heard of In maturer life , nearly .
every great musician has In his time
been a prodigy One need only instance .
stance Mozart , Schubert , Haydn ,
Chopin , and among expectants of to-
day , Joachim and Norman.Neruda , to - I
realize that thIs Is so. Have psycholo "
gists explained why the genius of ' I
music should and does awake in the
soul years before that of painting and
the allied arts ?
Round the Globe.
A great globe ornamented with the IM
map of the earth has been carved in
f
1
( ( I _ . jJ j J t
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stone to decorate the estate of an eccentric . I
centric Englishman at Swnnage. It \ I
stands overlooking the sea , and Is visible . J
hie for quite a dIstance One may j
walk about it and study it In detail.
The plain surfaces , such as the oceans ,
lakes ; : and deserts , are decorated with 1
scriptural texts , whIch are supposed Ito 1
to apply especially to the locality they I' !
occupr. '
Shade of Famous "Blackbeard. . "
A curious phenomenon that has
caused the superstitious no little fear
Is the appearance of photographic III-
presslons on the window panes of the
jury room of the courthouse at York-
vllle , Va. One of the tracings repra.
sonts a ghostly figure , apparently a
skeleton , with his bony , ragged fingers
clasped tightly around a telescope
poised , marIner like , before the eye ,
intent on discerning some distant ob
: tl
jeet. '
This Is pronounced by those il- i
formed on the subject to be nothing
less than the shade of Old Blackboard ,
the pirate chief who once had his
headquarters at Temple Farm , and
that even now haunts the vicinity ot
his old hiding place.
I
-oklo Children Playing Soldiers.
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A sketch from life by the Lon'.n
Chronicle's Japanese artist at Toklo.
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Girls War on Mosquitoes.
The Leap Year Girls' club of Bevel"-
ly , Mass" , have ndertaken a crusade
against mosquOCS ! at that place.
They will administer a coat of coal
oil to two ponds near Beverly. The
girls In ' some : way figure that mos- .
quitots may interfere with the pui +
poRes of the club.