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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1904)
. . . . , i 1 April I , 1904 THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE 7 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , FACTS-ANDFAr-JiIES.-- Ii ) BY ALLAN D. MAY. \ 3 ' bleu will continue to fish for men , j As long as thc stickers bite ; I 'l'lcy ! will . bait their hooks : again and \ again , { _ ' - . . As long as thc suckers bite ; - Somctimcs for profi tsomcti utes for fu n , ! As long as thc brook of life shall run , The fish shall bc captured , one by one , I , As long as thc suckers bitc. I I , Wisdom is not hereditary. " How we would enjoy a dish of green peas with dumplings ! Those who admire you most are generally those who never mention it. \\'hen ' a man is in' the wrong his first excuse is that people have misunderstood him. pawn-broker would loan some men more on a Waterbury than " , they would on their promise to pay : If the majority of men can get . ' )1 all the gold they . want , they will ' ( not worry over the scarcity of radium. - When you tell some people any- thing , they assume that you are lying , no matter how reasonable your statement may bc. - - Senator Burton of Kansas has been convicted of bribery , It is now up to William Allen White , ; " , to explain what is the matter , * r with Kansas. A women couldn't find an Eas- \ , i : : ; tel' hat in town that suited her , r. and she has been praying night 1 and clay that it will rain next . Sunday. Spiteful . thing . ; ! - - - - - - - A certain man has a dog and . . . never tires of telling about the ' .r' j' : " . beasts pedigree and thc fabulous ' : , " stuns he has been offered . for him. , ' ' Will he tell this to the ! assessor ? ki " : . f : l "t t. , . . " w I ( BIXbv is waging a war on carc- , : ' : : : ' less spitters. His attitude is commendable - ' 1. : mendable , but we fear that man r- . ' ' will spit where he listeth until " ' long after Porter has put it i baC { . "ii ? , ; . t' _ ' . Republicans may indulge in " little quarrels in their county and a , 1' . ' . , state conventions , . but they will . , r.-\ . ' . I \ , ' ' ' ' be ready to kiss and make np t " " : _ when the national convention i ; : : : . . meets. . . . . . - : . ' ' ' ' : ' . - In the bible we are admonished : r. " , "But let your communication be L ; . . " . . yea , yea ; nay , nay ; for whatsoever - 4 . ' , ever more than these cometh of : ; , , ' : , ' . " ' ' evil This advice was probably 1 ( - tended for modern poli t cians. 'r ; , One reason why we should re- . - fr : " i gret the nomination of Grover , . Cleveland for the presidency , is "iir. " ; ; . " that it would cause a revival of , : ! : ' the old slogan "Four more 7ears of Grover. \ : A man invited a neighbor and y his family to dinner and reference was made to the excellence of the l chicken that was served "Yes" remarked the host HI have been - , . Iiir - - - bothered for some time with stray chickens and this morning I shot this one.Vhen the guest went home he counted his chickens and found one missing. I-Ie took the hint. According to advertisements in the current magazines one can .now beome as tall as he likes. The discovery of a certain system will } ] enable you to add to your stature at so much per cubit , or major fraction thereof. By a sim- ple process you can become a tall sycamore in the forest of human- ity. lf nature sawed you off short , don't lose hope : send a two cent stamp for particulars. If the benevolent elongators of humankind - man-kind cannot lengthen you out otherwise , they ' will pull your leg until it is longer than it real- ly ought to be. This is April Fool day and the usual pranks are being played. The man who would whip his child for telling a lie , will lie to his child and when the little one innocently believes him , he will cry "April Fool" and chuckle and grin , while the child thinks that perhaps it isn't so wicked to' tell a He after all.'Ve ' wonder why , if people will be fools , somebody don't invent a new kind of fool- ishness for this particular day. 'Ve have seen so many empty pocket books picked up that the spectacle no longer fills us with merriment. We have seen the hat and the brick t'1 worked so often that it is no longer entertaining. \Vhat would you give to be as happy and proud as you used to bc when the object of your joy and pride was nothing more than a crudely colord Easter egg ? Yon are very busy now chosoing the- will- 0'- wisp of fortune and someday your tired hands may reach out and grasp the golden bau ble. When you grow weary We do GOOD - PAINTING We do GOOD Paper Hanging GUARANTEE ALL OUR WORK . . NO NEED TO TEAR UP YOUR WHOLE HOUSE TO DO A LIT- TLE WORK. WE COVER YOUR CARPETS. DROP US A CARD AND WE WILL CALL ON YOU. BAXTER & CO , The Decorators . , - , . . .ter - - - - - - - 1--- - 1----- " i ; NOW IS THE TIME TO & GET YOUR EASTER BONNETS [ i ,1. , - ELYSIAN Toilet Articles . A full line of these tI excellent goods and they arc sold under a. positive guarantee - tee. . . . . . . . I . .r. - . - - . .r . Mrs. C. - - W. - Breithaut i ll wftli the chase , you console your- self with the though of happiness - ness that will come when the prize is w011. And if you win ? , Oh ! there will be joy happiness , and the rich mans bridc. : But it win be joy that has been bought and paid for , it will not bc the joy that comes without the ask- ing ; it will not bc that pride that 110 account of the intrinsic value . of its object. 'rhe Easteregg in its self was nothing , but the joy it bought was more than gold can buy , and you win never be as happy or as proud as you were then , though every thing you touch should turn into g-old. - - - Since the new bus line was established - tablished , a metropolitan atmos- phere surrounds the depots when- ever a train arri ves. The competition - tition bids fair to develop some first class spielers. " 'Tis not alone thc buildings tall , Or street car service up . to-date , The bustling crowd , thc smoky pall That makes a city great , A town is still a "whistling post" And all its hopes of greatness vain Till it can point with pride and boast Of bus line" spielcrs" at thc train. LOCAL AND PERSONAL. Eat Sowle's Candy. Dr. 1. 1\1. Houston was in Omaha - ha Wednesday. B. A. Rose of Salem was in town Tue da'y. J. G. Smith ot Dawson was in . , town 1.'uesda Earl Marts was down from Iowa on business this week. John Ahern of Shubert was in the city on business Wednesday. Come ladies and get your Easter - er hats at the Bon ron millinery store. Hal Norris caine down from Lincoln and is visiting his par- enss in this city. 1\-lrs. Francis Martin and l\1rs. John C. : Martin left this week for a trip to 'Florida. _ " . . . . , . _ "h " , - ' : , Our line of spring millinery is attracting much atttention. f The newness and beauty of design have caused 111uch fav- orable cOm1nent. Our line has been proven to be the most varied and artistic ever brought to this city. And the . f prices are as satisfactory as the goods. Wevant you to investigate and be con vinced. I Isreal Richards of Wymore has been visiting his father C. H. Richards in this city during the week. . Several fine new residences are to be erected on the north side in the neighborhood of the high schoo1. Peter Hoffman who was badly injured last week by falling on a defective sidewalk , is. slowly recovering - ' covering from his injuries. E. C. Phillips , deputy master workman of the A. O. U. W. has been in town this week working in the interests of the order. - The funeral of John Oman who died at the county farm was held Thursday. Mr. Oman was 72 years of age and was well , known in this community. Rev , Schmid1i left this week for his new pastorate in St. Joe. Rev. lYlanshart arrived in the city w yesterday to assume the pastorate - ate of the Evangelical church in this city. The Tribune wants some more correspondents in the county. We have the field more thoroughly - ly covered than any other paper in the county now , but we are _ not satisfied. We want a reporter - er in every precinct and town in the county. Call or write for . particulars. Missouri Pacific Railway Time Table , Falls City , Neb. . . NORTH No. 51 Omaha and Lincoln Express . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A 2:28 : a nl No. 57 Omaha and Lincoln passenger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A 2:48 : p m No. 233 Local1"rcight ! , Auburn . burn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1\ 1:05 : p nl SOUTH No. 52 Kansas City and St. Louis and Dcnvcr . . . . . . . A 2:8 a m No. 58 Kansas City and l St. Louis and Denver . . . . . . . A 1:46 : a 111 No. 232 Local , Atchison. . . 10:30 : a 111 No. 220 Stock Freight , Hi- a'vatha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1\ 8:30 p m A. Daily. n. Daily except Sunday. J. n. VARNER , Agcnt. A . \ . ' , - " . : - " : . . . ' , . "