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McCOOK
CHAUTAUQUA
AUGUST 2230
You remember now they
S cd your hearts last year They are
f the sweetest thing on the road
j Delight you sure
t
5
TWO
NINE BIG DAY5
More than forty of the greatest men of the nation and the
best entertainers of the platform will contribute toward the edu
cation and the enjoyment of the people of McCook Red Willow
county and Southwestern Nebraska
Even Asia will be represented in the person of J Moham
med Ali of Lahore India a high caste Hindu who lost place
and fortune because he espoused the Christian religion and the
civilization of the Occident
THE ROYAL HUNGARIAN ORCHESTRA
This fine orchestra is under the leadership of Prof M Witepski one of
the best musical directors in the country There are eight players every
one an artist who has played in the best cities of this country and Europe
We behove that the concerts given by this orchestra will alone be worth the
cost of a season ticket
THE KIRKSMITH CONCERT
COMPANY
The most pleasing and success
ful musical combination of its kind
on the platform These delightful
and talented ladies have made sever
al tours of the United States always
with the most remarkable success
The most wonderful natural talents
perfect training surprising versatili
ty to say nothing of their sweet at
tractive faces make this company a
welcome one to musical lovers
HUGH A ORCHARD
Hugh A Orchard is a strong
representative of what the critics
call legitimate lecturers Ho
believes in the business as a
means to great ends His lec
tures are replete with human in
terest and abound with morals
and wholesome doctrines His
message is distinctively to the
common man in the so called
humbler walks of life Mr Or
chard takes him up to the moun
tain tops and shows him his king
dom directing his attention to
where his prospects lie
While laboring to rouse to a
state of proper ambition the dor
mant powers of mind Mr Orchard
has not overlooked the demand
for entertainment that is entitled
to consideration and weaves into
his lectures many happy diver
sions that sweeten and temper
them to all tastes In a word this particular Orchard is a peach You
will want some of his fruit
GILBERT ELDREDGE
For an hour and a half of pure en
joyment see Eldredge lie is no ordin
ary impersonator but a veritable genius
in presenting a great variety of charac
ters in costume First he is a school
girl He disappears and returns in a
moment dressed as David Harum then
as Widow BedOlt or Samantha Allen
and so on throughout a dozen different
impersonations each one a little better
and more clever than the previous one
I
PROGRAMS DAILY
olit
Buy season tickets for 200 once as they will be sold at
the gate for 2 50 Season tickets can be secured at Tribune
I office and elsewhere over the city
Season Tickets Adults 200
Season Tickets Children V 100
General Admission 250 35c 50c
Lower Rates For Children
- sV V V
raa Tmexwnxsnaa
HIS OWN BAIT T8
The Giant Alligator Snapping Turtle
as a Fisherman
There b a canny reptile fisherman
which makes effective use of the bait
which he carries in his own mouth
This Is the alligator snapping turtle a
giant among reptiles known to attain
a maximum weight of 14 1 pounds with
a length of shell of about twenty eight
inches It haunts rivers Ho whig Into
the gulf of Mexico including the
sissippi where It is common In
pearance and actions it is an enlarged
uupucaie ot me common snapping tur
tle Its paie brown hues well match
the soft muddy bottoms on which it
lies motionless angling for fish with
the decoy The bait is attached inside
the lower jaw close to the tongue and
Is a well developed filament of fiesh
white and distinct from the yellowish
mouth part and closely resembling a
large guub While waiting the turtle
keeps this grub in motion giving it
the aspect of crawling about in a small
circular course Its mud colored shell
often studded with a growth of fine
waving moss looks like a great round
stone and close to it is a second small
er stone the head Close to this small
er stone crawls the plump white grub
A fish sees it and makes a natural
mistake only to be seized by a sudden
snap of the powerful jaws The jaws
are remarkably powenui me com
mon snapper which attains only a
third of the sixe of his larger rolifi i5
will bito a finger clean oil and Vw al
ligator snapper could bite through a
wrist or foot Chicago Tribune
TRICKS OF WRITERS
A Ruse by Which Kipling Piqued Hit
Readers Curiosity
When I first began to read Kip
ling said an admirer my curiosity
was immensely piqued by the scraps
of verse with which he usually headed
his early stories They were all cred
ited to poems I had never heard of in
my life and were just such salient
striking fragments as would naturally
whet ones appetite for the remainder
For over a year I tried hard to locate
those mysterious poems and enlisted
half a dozen book dealers in the
search At last one of them wrote me
that I was wasting time and that the
alleged quotations were merely Mr
Kiplings little joke
In other words he manufactured
em to order and stuck them at the top
of his tales for the sake of the odor of
erudition they lent to the production
I was mad for a while but when I
cooled off I had a good big laugh Of
1 course you know Scott used to do the
same thing and so for that matter
did Edgar Allan Poe Poe was really
the worst quotation fakir of the lot
Tie would write wise sounding de
tached sentences and credit them tt
imaginary German philosophers with
long outlandish and impressive names
However I dont know why the thing
should be punishable The business of
a writer of fiction is to create an
I sion and as long as he does it I for
one am not particular what means he
employs to contribute to the end
New Orleans Times Democrat
Immigrants Purses
The immigrants who stream into
New York all have different ways of
carrying their money
The Irish immigrant carries a canvas
bag in which notes and coins are
crammed together
The Germans wear a money belt
gay and costly of embroidered cha
mois
The French and Italians carry brass
tubes with screw tops wherein they
keep their cash in twenty franc gold
pieces
The Swede is sure to have an im
mense pocketbook of cowhide that has
been handed down from father to sou
for generations
The Slavs carry their money intheir
high boots along with a fork and
spoon New York Press
Forest of Stone In Australia
In Albany in Australia is to be seen
a stone forest in other words petrified
trees The trees are of a gray stone
It is suggested as an explanation of
the strange phenomenon that in the
depths of past ages the forest was in
full vegetation and then through some
upheaval of the earth it was buried In
sand Little by little water acting on
the sand penetrated the branches and
solidified
Tho wood gradually disappeared un
der the layer of stone and in time took
its form Then in succeeding years
the winds again carried away the sand
and the forest appeared anew but of
stone London Globe
A Legal Thrust
The learned counsel for the de
fense said the plaintiffs attorney
appears to be afraid of losing his
case Otherwise why isnt he ready to
go on
Ive got a good excuse replied
counsel for the defense
Nonsense Ignorance of the law ex
cuses no one Philadelphia Press
Our National Attitude
Thats the Goddess of Liberty ex
plained the New Yorker Fine atti
tude eh
Yes and typically American r
Bpouded the western visitor Hang
ing to a strap Washington Herald
The Tangible Part
The Village Idiot discovered tres
passing Yed better not hit me Dye
know fowks say Im not a here Tha
Farmer Well coom awa oot here
then Im a goin to gie a good hidin
to what ther is o ye London Opinion
A close friend is one who turns you
down when you want a small loan
St Joseph News Press
Barham Beach
The Story of a Poem Written
Thirteen Years Ago and
Suggested by the Character
of the Man Nov President
JULIA DITTO YOCNG AND THE IIOCbE HERE
HARHA3I BEACH WAS LOST
search failed to reveal the document
among her effects Years passed by
and one day the poet chanced upon it
in the vault of the town bank in Cale
donia situated in a picturesque old
stone house used as a residence by
Frances and Eliza Blakeslee friends
of her mother In the meantime the
man whose character had suggested to
Mrs Young the writing of the poem
had indeed justified in his career the
prophetic instinct which impelled her
to its production and the circum
stances made it suitable that before
giving the work to the general public
she presont the original manuscript to
the distinguished personage who had
inspired it Acting on this suggestion
she had it handsomely bound and it
was dulj presented to Mr Roosevelt
who has privately expressed his keen
appreciation of tho literary merits of
the work though modesty forbids that
he should show any recognition of the
resemblance of the hero to himself
Mrs Young who is an exponent of
the Meredith school of verse enjoys a
high rank among present day Ameri
can writers by reason of the beauty of
her style her romantic imagery and
high ideals She has a charming home
in Buffalo where her husband Robert
D Youug is an officer in a bank
Barham Beach is a poem of about
2000 lines but its divisions and the
varying meter save It from danger of
monotony The incidents do not corre
spond to anything in the life of Presi
dent Roosevelt The hero renounces
the woman he loves and who returns
his affection because iu the circum
stances duty and a high sense of honor
seem to call upon him to make the sac
rifice It is in the ideals of the hero
and his battles for his fellow man that
the resemblance between him and the
president is traced
Of the Theodore of Barham Beach
the author writes
And ever he stirred with eternal protest
with indignation divine
With the old erusadlng fury and zeal a
frenzy heroic and fine
For the people He gave to the people
his life and his thought and his gold
Longing to see in the service of man th
whole wide earth enrolled
Longing to hasten the halcyon time when
God shall esteem it good
To melt and fuse ail hatred and greed ir
a golden brotherhood
N days or old It was not uncommon
for those who aspired to shine as
literary stars of their time to
write poems celebrating the deeds
of kings princes and nobles Not In
frequently the lords who were glorified
in verse bestowed substantial rewards
upon the bards It was their way or
patronizing literature As Julia Ditto
Young author of Glynnes Wife
and other novelettes In verse has re
cently published a poetical work
whose hero Theodore surname not
given bears a marked resemblance to
Theodore Itoosovelt it might be sup
posed that she wrote it on the plan
of the poets of olden time with the
view of securing an office or some sub
stantial emoluments from the powers
that be at Washington But this
theory Is untenable in view of the
fact that the work was composed over
thirteen years ago when the only po
litical jobs with which Mr Roosevelt
had to do were those connected with
the police force of New York and even
these were governed by strict civil
service rules He was police commis
sioner of New York then and had
scarcely become a national figure
though he was beginning to be talked
about as a municipal reformer and had
won fame in literature But he had
yet to serve as assistant secretary of
war as warrior in Cuba as governor
of New York and as vice president and
to take his place under circumstances
most tragic and solemn as ruler of the
nation Yet as far back as IS9 Mrs
Young saw in him one who was des
tined to achieve much in his efforts
to uplift his fellow men and he be
came the prototype of the hero of the
poem which is now being talked about
It is entitled Barham Beach A room
of Regeneration and Is published in
a limited edition each copy bearing
the authors signature But how does
it happen to be published now when it
was written thirteen years ago
Mrs Young gave the manuscript to
the keeping of her mother Mrs Mar
garet Ditto of Caledonia N Y Mrs
Ditto died soon afterward and diligent
l
7
Story
TWO VERSIONS
of the Climb as Told by the
Tourist and the Guide
He was touring the Bernese Ober
land At the Bear hotel in Grlndewald
a mountaineer sat in the hall a glass of
beer before him aud his feet In their
hobnailed mountain boots extended to
ward the fire The mountaineer had
Just made au ascent of the Tiger aud
he talked like this about it
Well well well a climb indeed
four hours of incessant step cutting
with an ax on an ice slope as smooth
as glass and as steep as a wall Look
nt this bunch of edelweiss I spied It
on the edge of a dreadful precipice
My guide refused to let me pluck it
said it was madness For his part ho
would not risk his life so foolishly
But at last what with eloquence and
an offer of 200 francs 1 persuaded him
to come along The advance was awful
One misstep meant death But I se
cured the Mower when suddenly the
guides foot slipped he fell and began
to roll toward the edge But I thrust
my as firmly into the Ice and bracing
myself seized the rope that bound us
together and the man was saved
And at the same time in the hotel
kitchen the guide was giving another
version of the ascent in words like
these
Well well what a customer An
other like that chap and I give up the
business From the start he was faint
and dizzy In fact wherever any real
climbing began we had to carry him
like a sack of meal And mean Re
fused us a single penny extra for all
our extra trouble Last of all he beg
ged for the sprig of eidelweiss I wore
in my hat and I was fool enough to let
him have it New York Times
FISHES FACES
The Fascination They Have For One
Lover of Nature
Did you ever stop to examine the
expression on the face of a fish I
do not mean of some notoriously gro
tesque fish but of just any plain sea
faring fish I confess that the fascina
tion for me Is the same whether I
stand in front of some great collection
of little monstrosities like that In the
Naples aquarium or whether I sit by
my dining room window and contem
plate the goldfish in my little boys
glass bowl People watch the mon
keys at the zoo and remark how hu
man they are how sly and crafty the
old ones how cute and playful the
young ones But for steady company
give me the fish How restful they
are with their mouthings as regular
as if they were governed by a balance
wheel How quiet too for not one
word of murmured protest or of chat
tering fault finding do they inflict upon
us How philosophical as they bask
in the sun the livelong day or seek
the occasional shade of the modest
sprig of greens which forms the
conventional garnishing of their wa
tery abode flow easily gratified are
their simple tastes Surely with their
good manners their quiet deportment
and their stoical bearing goldfish are
the ideal companions of the mature
man Monkeys and dogs and kittens
may amuse the children by their tricks
and antics but only the grown man
can appreciate the solid qualities of
the fishs character as written upon
his features Atlantic Monthly
Hsirs In the Watch
Well sir I had to send my watch
downtown to have it cleaned out
again said an east side barber the
other day I have to send my watch
to the repair shop about once a month
and there is absolutely nothing the
matter with it except that it is full ot
hairs 1 do not understand how the
hairs can get into the works and be
hind the hands and mix up in the
mainspring and every place as they do
in my timepiece I watched myself
one month as closely as I could and I
swear I never opened the back of it
Yet at the end of the month I unscrew
ed the back lid and it was full of lit
tle fine hairs I always keep it in my
pocket when I am cutting hair but I
dont see how any hairs got into the
watch Yet they must because they
are always there Columbus Dis
patch
A New Definition
The cliss was studying grammar
Now said the teacher can any
one give me a word ending with ous
meaning full of as in dangerous full
of danger and hazardous full of
hazard
There was silence in tin class for a
moment Thri a sitting in the
front row ot 1N hand
Well Join said the treu her what
is your word
Please iir c nnie I lit1
pious frli of nie
reply
Vi orsus Vourzicv
Lady I am Iooki for i ativoriifiS
for my 1 hihlrou
Manicrr of l iiKIljcfntv iZi o
Didnt we seppfy yuti wills m List
week
Yes
Well mmli i nnlng to hor re
port you iloni vwil grprtss you
need a Hon la
His Reasoning
De Tough I want to return this do
to the gent what owns him I seen
his ad in the paper The Lady How
did you guess it was a gent that put
the ad in De Tough Cause it said
No questions asked London Pick-Me-Up
The Trouble
Groucfi The Rev Mr Smiley
scheme to pass around the cigars and
let the men smoke during services has
proved a failure Blink What was
the trouble Grouch His wife bought
the cigars Cleveland Plain Dealer
WSSA
MnrnAWrC CC1 TTJVT1V
i iCinrcnAij ui
i
Conducted by the McCook VT C T 0
wW
The regular meeting of the union was
hold at Mrs Carmans Friday after
noon A goodly number was present
with devotion
The meeting was opened
al exorcises after which a business ses
sion was bold
Mrs Rouch superintendent of the
Mothers Dept then took charge of the
program A reading by Mrs Rozell on
Prenatal Influences was interestingly
discussed by all present It was re
gretted there were not more mothers
present who might have profited by the
discussion
By way of entertainmont Mrs Bur
ton read two short pieces I Kissed the
Cook and The Ilousowifes Part
She also sang a solo
The next meeting will bo in two weeks
at Mrs Rosebushs home It will bo
in charge of Mrs Inglis Subject Do
Everything It will also be a tea All
are cordially inxited
An Outlawed Outlaw
Mrs M M Clnflin
Dear Sister I saw in the June num
ber of the Union Worker this the liq
uor traffic should bo outlawed Now 1
write this giving my argument that the
liquor traffic never was inlawed be
cause no law gives any business the
legalized right to make criminals out of
said business The law makers of Ne
braska can not legalize a business that
makes fifty per cent of its constituency
criminals as tho liquor business does
Many times I have asked tho legal tal
ent to show me a law that will legalize
the action of our legislators when they
grant a license to a business that is
making criminals all the time and I
have no response from them their
silence about this is a proof to me that
there is no such a law granting 3uch a
right to our legislation Our law mak
ers know they have no such a right
given them if they cannot show a law
giving them raid right that is the key
to this liquor criminal making business
it is a lawless outlaw because a criminal-making
business cannot be lawful
And all our judges know it too right
well and they to me are responsible for
letting this criminal making business
run as it does today as it runs in Ne
braska or any other state or in any
part of the United States Keep it be
fore the people that the courts have no
lawful right to oust me out cf a crimin
al making business and let my neigh
bor run his liquor criminal making
business at any price To me the courts
have no law to show such partiality
Keep it before tho people that all men
know that drunkenness is a crime and
all men that promote it in any way are
committing a criminal act if not so why
not though they may bo ignorant of it
Keep it before the people that no body
of men have the lawful right to license
the liquor criminal making business
Cryus Stebbins North Platte
CITY CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS
Christian Bible school
at 10 a m
Preaching at 11 a m and 8 p m C E
at 7 p m All are welcome
R M Ainsworth Pastor
Episcopal Preaching services at St
Albans church at 11a m and 730 p
m Sunday school at 10 a m All
are welcome to these services
E R Earle Rector
Catholic Order of services Mass
8 a m Mass and sermon 1000 a m
Evening service at 8 oclock Sundav
school 230 p m Every Sunday
War J Kirwin O M I
Baptst Sunday school at 10 a m
Preaching service at 11 00 a m Even
ing service at 800 B Y P U at 7 p m
A most cordial invitation is extended to
all to worship with us
E Burton Pastor
Congregational Sunday school at
10 a m C E at 7 p m Prayer meet
ing every Wednesday at 8 p m The
public is cordially invited to these serv
ices No preaching Aug 2 9 and 16
G B Hawkes Pastor
METHoDisr Sunday school at 10 a m
Preaching by the pastor at 11 and 8
Epworth League at 7 Prayer meeting
Wednesday night at S A cordial wel
come to all
M B Carman Pastor
Christian SciENCE Services Sun
day at 11 a m and Wednesday at S p
m Meetings held in the Morris block
Room open all the time Science litera
ture on sale Subject for next Sunda
fcoul
y
Burned Carload of Wooden Overcoats
A box car loaded with coffins
con
signed to the
Colorado Casket Com
pany Denver from the Iowa Casket
Company was found to be on firP n
route between Max and Benkelman
Monday The train crew succeeded in
getting the flaming car on the east side
track in time to keep the fire from
spreading further along the string of
cars but it was useless to attempt to
faght the fire since its progress
was too
far advanced The
value
of the de
stroyed goods was said to be S1C00
Benkelman News Chronicle 7th
TSeFIX0nyrb0rSeS aDd
It keeps the flies off por sale at -3
Woodworth Cos DruUts
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