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Teddy Bears New Year
Resolution
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1 A P RESOLUTIONS sj
Catholic Order of services Mass
8 a m Mass and sermon 1000 a m
Evening service at 8 oclock Sunday
school 230 p m Every Suuday
Wji J Kikwin O M 1
Baptst Sunday school at 10 a m
Preaching service at 1100 a m Even
ing service at 800 B Y P XJ at 7 p m
A most cordial invitation is extended to
311 to worship with us
E Burton Pa3tor
Christian Science Services Sun
day at 11 a m and Wednesday at 8
p m Subject Spirit Meetings
held in Diamond block Boom open
Wednesdays and Saturdays from 2 to 4
p m Science literature on sale
Episcopal Preaching services at St
Albans church at 11 a m and 730 p
m Sunday school at 10 a m All
are welcome to these services Cele
bration of the Holy Communion at the
morning service
E R Earle Rector
Methodist Sunday school at 10 a m
Strmon by pastor at 11 and 8 Ep
worth League at 645 Prayer meeting
Wednesday night at 745 The public is
invited to all these services we want
ypu to come
M B Carman Pastor
Congregational Sunday school at
10 a m Preaching at 11 a m by pas
tor Junior Christian Endeavor at 3
p m Senior Endeavor at 7 p m
Special musical service in the evening
at 745 under auspices of the Mens Sun
day Evening club sermon subject
Christian Courage Prayer meeting
every Wednesday at 745 p m The
public is cordially invited to all these
sarvices
G B Hawkes Pastor
Harmless Yet Powerful
The hygienic properties of lemons
which contain citric acid have been
well known for many years but it is
only lately that scientists discovered
the acid was powerful enough to kill
the germs of typhoid L fever in twenty
four hours Some typhoid fever ba
oilli treated with raw lemon juice and
placed in the sunshine were killed in
two hours the sunshine proving a
quick agent in connection with the
medical properties of the fruit Lemons
have been found beneficial in the
worst forms of smallpox and cholera
so it is well to know the medical prop
erties of a harmless yet powerful fruit
acid
RESOLVED
That throughout
this year 1908 I will
try to be good and
do good that I will
try to help myself
and help others
that I will stand by
the old townand the
home people and
help to boom the
burg
RESOLVED
That from January
to December inclu
sive I will quit dis
sipating quit dissi
pating my dollars by
taking them out of
circulation hero
around home and
sending them to the
big cities to buy the
things that I can
buy and ought to
buy right here in
town
RESOLVED That I will stop smoking stop
smoking pipe dream dope suggesting big bargains to
be had unsight unseen from the gigantic stores in
the gigantic cities and go around among the stores
here at home looking for bargains that are there to
be seen with the naked eye
RESOLVED That I will patronize by prefer
ence the stores that advertise in the home paper
and therefore have enterprise enough to tell the
people what theyve got in stock
Signed TEDDY BEAR
Brer Rabbit Say Teddy that last resolution is the
goods all right
CITY CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS
Christian Bible school at 10 a m
T P S C E at 7 p m All are wel
come to these services
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Secretary Wilson of the department
of agriculture says that the unbounded
prosperity of the agriculturist is not due
to chance but is the result of intelli
gent scientific business methods A
reader of The Weekly Inter Ocean has
placed before him each week the prac
tical and approved methods to which
Secretary Wilson refers It is a good
investment Only S125 for The Weekly
Inter Ocean and this paper one year
A weekly newspaper that publishes
twenty one columns of good reliable
news each week is rare in these days of
cheap weeklies intended only to sell
some article that the publisher is inter
ested in Credit is due The Weekly
Inter Ocean for keeping its columns
filed with fresh and up-to-date news
Give it a trial by subscribing through
The McCook Tribune
CURE YOUR KIDNEYS
Do Not Endanger Life When a McCook
Citizen shows You The Cure
Why will people continue to suffer
the agonies of kidney complaint back
ache urinary disorders lameness head
ache languor why allow themselves to
become chronic invalids when a certain
cure is offe red them
Doans Kidney Pills is the remedy to
use because it gives to the kidneys the
help they need to perform their work
If you have aDy even one of the
symptoms of kidney diseases cure your
self now before diabetes dropsy or
Brights disease sets in Read this
McCook testimony
George Fowler retired farmer living
in the northwestern part of McCook
Nebr says I suffered from kidney
trouble for two or three years The
secretions from my kidneys were of a
dark red contained heavy sediment if
allowed to stand and were much too
frequent in action Dizzy spells often
attacked me and spots would float be
fore my eyes I was nervous fretful
and subject to severe headaches These
at times would last all day and all night
and my head would feel as if it would
burst After using many remedies
without satisfactory relief I procured a
box of Doans Kidney Pills at McCon
nells drug store Within one weeks
time I felt the greatest improvement in
my condition I continued using them
and was cured I have had no return
of any of the symptoms up to this
time
For sale by all dealers Price 50
cents Foster Milburn Co Buffalo
New York sole agents for the United
States
Remember the name Doans and
take no other
TIES one
E
ROOTOFZ
No One Has Yet Succeeded In
Extracting It Accurately
SOME IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEMS
Tho Effort to Cultivate a Blue Rot
the Search For Absolute Zero tho
Perpetual Motion Phantom and the
Squaring of the Circle
There died in the year 1902 in St
kFelix u small village in the depart
ment of Haute Garonne in Franco a
wealthy octogenarian horticulturist
who spent the last forty five years of
his life and a sum variously estimated
at from 12000 to 15000 in attempt
ing to produce by artificial cultivation
a blue rose
He failed and for the best of reasons
the task is one impossible of accom
plishment As De Candolle a great au
thority on this subject has pointed out
yellow and blue are the fundamental
types of color in flowers and those col
ors are antagonistic mutually exclud
ing each other Yellow by culture may
be changed into red or white but nev
er into blue On the other hii 1 blue
will pass into red but never iafo yel
low We have a yellow tosn hence
there is no blue
The pursuit of the absolute zero noun
is to chemists what the discovery of
the north pole Is to geographers Evei
since Fahrenheit in 1724 broached the
problem scientists innumerable have
striven to reach the goal in vain al
though each in turn has succeeded in
outdistancing the other
Thus Fahrenheit boasted that no one
could ever attain artificially to a
greater degree of cold than he produced
with salt and ice seven degrees below
zero although of course he did ndt
suppose that cold ended there Yet
within a few years of his death over
100 degrees below had been obtained
and Professor James Dewar whose re
searches in the field of low tempera
tures have brought out so many new
and startling facts succeeded by cool
ing down the rare gas helium by the
aid of liquefied hydrogen in registering
the almost inconceivable temperature
of 422 degrees below zero F But this
is not absolute zero and the problem
remains unsolved
Here and there in odd corners of the
earth gray bent men still pore over
crucibles seeking the philosophers
stone that mysterious and wonderful
substance which will they believe
when found change the baser metals
into gold It never will be found of
course for such a substance in the
nature of things can have no concrete
existence Nevertheless for hundreds
of years the best brains and keenest
intellects in Christendom sought it
early and late
Nor were their labors wholly wasted
for it was while searching for this
mythical treasure that Bottcher stum
bled on the secret of the manufacture
of porcelain Roger Bacon on that of
the composition of gunpowder Geber
on the properties of acids Van Ilel
mont on tho nature of gas and Dr
Glauber on the salts which bear his
name After a similar fashion too
the three century long hunt for the
elixir of life bequeathed to us a whole
host of valuable remedial drugs and
was the means indirectly of saving or
at all events prolonging literally mil
lions of lives
So also as the result of the vain
search after perpetual motion there
was evolved the greatest of all the gen
eralizations of modern physical sci
ence the principle of the conservation
of energy and even now more or less
important discoveries are being con
stantly stumbled on by seekers after
the same perennial
For let it be by no means imagined
that the perpetual motion cranks are
all dead and gone On the contrary
they are probably fully as numerous
and as sanguine today as they were in
the time of Leibnitz or Newton
Of course the thing is impossible and
has been proved so over and over
again but that does not deter them
Only the other day a man turned up
at the office of a well known patent
agent with a model of a perpetual mo
tion machine which depended for its
proper working upon the interception
of gravitational attraction
The principle of the invention the
inventor was good enough to explain
was simplicity itself The only thing
that remained to be done he ingenu
ously remarked was to find the proper
material for an interceptor Is it pos
sible to conceive of human folly going
further than this
Among mathematicians the two most
famous unsolvable problems are the
trisection of the angle and the dupli
cation of the cube Men have toiled
at one or the other sometimes at both
of these for fifteen twenty thirty
years only to retire at last baffled and
beaten Their calculations and meth
ods of work have in many instances
been published to the world but the
subject is too abstruse to attempt to
do more than merely touch upon it in
a popular article of this kind
It is somewhat startling however
to find that even figures just plain
ordinary arithmetical figures such as
are easily understandable by any mod
ern board school boy have given rise
to problems quite as Incapable of solu
tion as any of those springing out of
the higher mathematics
No one for instance has yet succeed
ed in extracting the square root of 2
although Dr W H Colvlll a civil sur
geon of Bagdad succeeded in work
ing it out to no fewer than 110 places
of decimals and moreover his titanic
sum has been proved to be absolutely
correct bo far ns it goes Here is the
result in case some reader should be
seized with an irresistible desire to
carry it a stage or two further
14142135G2373095M8801SS724209C9S07S5C9C71S7u37C31
ff7317CC737399073247S4C210703SS50aS75343i7Gn5727C3
013SIG23
Undoubtedly however of all tho now
admittedly unsolvable figure proboa
which have from time to time occupvd
the attention of mathematicians Iio
nost famous Is that generally linov i
as squaring the circle The time and
energy thrown away upon It in days
gone 13 are simply amazing A
professor Jacob Marcelis by name
worked at it for forty three years and
came at last to the conclusion that the
circumference contained the diameter
exactly
100S4490S7377541C798942S2184S94
3
C9D71S3C37540S19 140035239271702
times He was Avrong Another nota
ble computer one Ludolph van Ceulen
continued his calculations as long as he
lived and at his death had the result
inscribed on his tombstone at St Pe
ters church Leytlen
Yet a third enthusiast worked out the
calculation to more than 700 places of
decimals and even then did not get so
near as Peter Metius who guessed at
his answer This latter lucky gentle
man asserted that the diameter is to
the circumference as 113 is to Soo This
Is so nearly right that the error would
be less than a foot in a circle with a
2000 mile radius
For a long time this approximation
was as near as any one got but in 1SG
a lady mathematician went one better
Here is her formula From three di
ameters deduct eight thousandths and
seven milliont js of a iiaoier and to
the resit add Ti per cent We have
then not quite encugli Iit the shortage
is only at the rate cf about an inch
and a sixteenth of an inch in 14000
miles Finally an Englishman named
Shanks succeeded In rcdifcing by more
than one half even this well nigh in
finitesimal error and there for the
present the matter rests
It may be of interest to note how
ever that some little while back a man
made a great hubbub in London be
cause he had not obtained the reward
which he alleged had been offered for
the discovery of the correct solution
although he claimed to have arrived at
It He said he did it by actual meas
urement and it was found on investi
gation that he had constructed a box
wood disk of twelve inches In diameter
which he rolled along a straight rail
The man was a joiner by trade and evi
dently knew well what he was about
when he measured for his answer
3140G25 is wrong by less than one in
3000 Pearsons Weekly
INDIAS WHITE ANTS
Only One Kind of Wood Sandal Can
Withstand Their Attacks
Insects of various kinds are a peren
nial plague to Indian dwellers tea
growers and others
The tea bushes in the Assam gardens
have no less than four destructive ene
mies from which no means of escape
has vet been devised by man These
are the bark eating borer the sand
wich caterpillar the mosquito and the
white ant nil of which attack the bush
and do immense damage
By far tho worst of these plagues is
the white ant the mosquito merely at
tacking the leaves and causing a blight
The ants however begin at the roots
and eat upward reducing the Avood to
powder and leaving only the bark to
support the top which soon topples
over by reason of its own weight
There is no Indian wood which would
resist the ants insidious attack except
sandal It delights in reducing pine
and white wood to a powder It can
not work in the light but must get at
the wpod from some dark recess and
wovk within a shell
In some mysterious way the white
ant gets indoors and has a particular
penchant for penetrating into a veneer
ed or lacquered picture frame and in a
short time nothing will remain but the
veneer or lacquer nothing else being
left but a small portion of the powder
the rest being consumed or removed
The method of attack is by emitting
a kind of acid which destroys the
wood And this ant has been known
to bore holes through the sheet iron
bottoms of trunks Several long sup
porting joists in a consular building in
Calcutta were eaten out so completely
that they had to be replaced with
steel ones
While these destructive Avhite ants
do not seem to possess much literary
taste they sometimes attack books
and destroy them by boring holes
through leaves and cover from side to
side
An English resident in an Indian city
had a fine set of upholstered furniture
which he protected by some covering
as well as he could before leaving his
home for an absence of some months
on business and when he returned he
sat down in a chair which collapsed
under him like a framework of card
board Westminster Gazette
Literary Coincidences
Tennyson said of a strange literary
coincidence A Chinese scholar some
tiire ago wrote to me saying that in an
unknown untranslated Chinese poem
there were two whole lines of mine al
most word for word Byron in his
monody on the death of Sheridan
where he says there will never be an
other Sheridan the mold being broken
up employs word for word terms in
which an ancient Sanskrit document
refers to the death of Maru notwith
standing that Byron could never have
seen the document Shakespeares
passage about love and lightning in
Romeo and Juliet II 2 is almost
identical with a quotation from Ma
lata and Madhava an Indian poem
by Bhavabuti written nine centuries
before and not translated up to Shake
speares time
SPENT LAST EIGHT
Carleton H Hutchinson a leading
banker and broker of Boston with
offices at 8 Congress Street In that
city has recently come out with a yery
etrong statement
In the widespread discussion over
Coopers new theory and medicines
which has spread over the country so
rapidly Mr Hutchinson has taken the
side of those who say that Coopers
theory is correct and his medicine all
that he claims
Mr Hutchinsons emphatic state
ment is as follows Anyone afflicted
with chronic ill health and a general
run down condition caused by stomach
trouble who does not try this man
Coopers medicine is very foolish I
say this after a most remarkable ex
perience with the medicine
I heard of Coopers success first
when ho was in Chicago as I have a
jWvate wire to that city In connection
trith my business Later when he
came East I learned more of him and
his theory that stomach trouble causes
most ill health I have had no faith
in anything not prescribed by a phy
siclan for each particular case after
careful diagnosis but after eight years
of constant suffering during which
V FRAHKUN
Say you saw it in The Tribune
Closing Out Sale
Having sold my farm and decided to
move to McCook I will sell at public
auction where I now live 5 miles south
of McCook on
MONDAY FEBRUARY lffii
commencing at 11 oclock the following
described property
7 HEAD OF HORSES
One span black mares 7 yrs old both
with foal season paid 1100 lbs each 1
dark mare 9 yrs old 1200 lbs with foal
1 light bay mare 10 yrs old 1100 lbs 1
brown colt coming 3 yrs 1000 1 2 year
old colt 1 weanling colt
16 HEAD OF CATTLE
Seven head of milk cows three year
ling heifers 3 steer calves 3 heifer
calves
20 HEAD OF SHOATS
100 pounds each
FARM IMPLEMENTS
One lumber wagon 1 wagon and rack
1 spring wagon 1 top buggy 2 riding
cultivators 1 walking cultivator 1 rid
ing plow 1 walking plow 1 3 section
steel harrow 1 3 sectiou wooden harrow
1 McCormlck mowing machine 1 Mc
Cormick hay rake 1 walking lister 2
sets double harness one set nearly new
1 set single harness and other articles
too numerous to mention
Free Lunch at Noon
TERMS Sums under 10 cash on
sums of 10 and over a credit of eight
months will be given purchaser to give
note drawing ten percent interest from
date with approved security A dis
count of five percent for cash on sums
of 10 and over No property to be re-
FRANK RATLIFF Owner
J H Woddell Auct V Franklin Clerk I
YEARS IN MISERY
Boston Banker Says His Life Has Been Hope
less for that Length of Time
time I spent over 1500 with absoi
lutely no relief I felt that It would at
least do no harm to try tho medicine
which I was hearing so much about
During these eight years I have
been forced to go without solid food
for five and six weeks at a time I
always had a sour stomach wa3
troubled with formation of gas and
led the usual miserable life of the dys
peptic I was dull tired nervous and
gloomy all tho time and was always
constipated
I have taken Coopers medicine a
comparatively short time For the
past month I have not had the slight
est sign of stomach trouble I can eat
anything with no bad effect whatso
ever I have a fine appetite am gain
ing flesh very rapidly am cheerful
full of energy and my nervousness has
disappeared My bowels are in perfect
condition for the first time in eight
years
I dont hesitate to say that I would
not take 50000 and be back where I
was My relief and thankfulness la
beyond description
We sell Coopers famous preparation
described In the above statement
A McMillen
rDIRECTORSr
JAS S DOYLE
A C EBERT
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F D BURGESS
onioer an
Iron Lead and Sewer Pipe Brass
Goods Pumps an Boiler Trimmings
Estimates Furnished Free Base
ment of the Postoffice Building
McC00Kt NEBRASKA
sKBrsBsJRNaVSSBBS
The best of every
thing in his line at
the most reasonable
prices is flarshs
motto iz wants
your trade and
hopes by merit to
keep it
D C MARSH
The Butcher
Phone 12
A
sLS VWVWVVl
v FRANKLIK President A C EBERT Cashier
JAS S DOYLE Vice President
THE
CITIZENS
B A N K
OF McCOOK NEB
b a ct m v
Paid li p Capital 550000 Surplus Si 2000
The McCook Tribune
One Dollar Per Year
A Guaranteed Cure For Piles
Itching Blind BlocUuu or Protiil
ing Piles Druggists rufnnd nion
Pazo Ointment fails tu cure any caso
no matter of how long standing in 6tol4
days First application gives ease and
rest 50c If your druggist hasnt it
send 50c in stamps and ic will bo for
warded postpaid by Paris Medicine Co
St Louis Mo
Typewriter lor Sale
If you are interested in securing a
Smith Premer Typewriter in splendid
condition at half price call in The Tri
bune office and see the machine It is
a bargain and will be sold because tho
owner has two machines
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