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The best of every
thing in his line at
the most reasonable
prices is Harshs
motto He wants
your trade and
hopes by merit to
keep it
The Butcher
Phone 12
J U DrtLL iSIUUUrV
AGENT FOR
THE CELEBRATED
Fairbury Hanchett
Windmill
This is a warranted and guaran
teed windmill nothing better in
the market Write or call on Mr
Ball before buvinsr
PHONE BLACK 307
1SSQSSQ
Mike Walsh
DEALEE IN
POULTRY
and EGGS
Old Rubber Copper and Brass
Highest Market Price Paid in Cash
New location just across street in P Walsh
building
FicCook - Nebraska
F D BURGESS
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Plumber and
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Iron Lead and Sewer Pipe Brass
Goods Pumps an BoilerTnmmings
Estimates Furnished Free Base
ment of the Postoffice Building
MoCOOK NEBRASKA
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It is equally successful for summer
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When reduced with water and
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Every man of a family should keep
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Price 25c Large Sizb 60o
A FOG AT SEA
It Frightens the Timid and Even Dis
countenances the Brave
This curious picture of an arrival at
the Hook of Holland Is by C Lewis
Hind I awoke suddenly It was full
daylight My watch Indicated 4 in the
morning We should be Hearing the
Dutch coast But why had the boat
stopped Why had the devastating
scrunch of the sicrew ceased I clam
bered from my berth and withdrew
the curtain from the porthole Sea
and sky had gone We were enveloped
In a dense fog The wall of the siren
roused the passengers A fog at sea
unstrings the nerves of the timid and
discountenances the brave I noticed
that the landing platform had been ex
tended and that two life lines were coll
ed upon It On the bridge were live
men The captain stood In the center
with two of his subordinates on either
side They leaned over the rail peering
into the wall of fog I went forward
Three of the crew were bent double
over the bows seeking the black mass
that might be moving toward us 1
could almost fancy I heard the crash
the shouts and the rush of feet
The air was damp I went below
A dozen passengers were gathered
around the breakfast table sipping tea
and toying with toast When the siren
wailed my neighbor a girl who was
about to eat a mouthful replaced the
crust upon the table and folded her
hands A woman cried silently A
large flabby man took the seat adjoin
ing mine rested his elbow upon the ta
ble and covered his eyes I thought he
was praying but when the steward ad
vanced and stood inquiringly before
him he raised his head for a moment
and said Ham and eggs
Those homely and unfamiliar words
relieved our depression also the vessel
began to move faster Soon the siren
ceased and when the captain slouched
into the cabin and called for a cup of
hot coffee we well I think some of us
could have danced a jig I went on
deck
There was Holland The sun was
scattering the fog We passed the
place where the Berlin was wrecked
Pooh Who minds fear on the morning
after with all the adventures of a new
day waiting
ENGLISH LOCAL SPEECH
Peculiar Way the Names of Some
Towns Are Pronounced
We English are horribly phonetic
and think nothing of spelling our name
Featherstonehaugh and pronouncing
it Beecham If you motor you must
twist your tongue to the local speech
There is a quiet village in Kent that
is spelled Stalisfieid and has achieved
the distinction of keeping a railway
station at nine miles distance But if
you ask your way to it you must call
it Starchfell or you will never find it
Huntingdonshire claims the purest
English as Hanover the purest Ger
man But by the peasants Papworth
is called Parpor And not far distant
is another village of beauty The mo
torist turned upon a rough road and
asked the intelligent laborer where it
would take him That road said
the honest countryman wiping his
brow will take you to Ell sir The
courageous motorist went on and
found Ellsworth which is merely El
ser
The trouble as to the pronunciation
of place names makes one very diffi
dent a correspondent complains as to
venturing upon pronouncing any that
one knows only by the eye and not by
the ear Being a Suffolk man he
knows that Waldringfield is Wunner
ful and Chelmondiston is Chimston
while in the adjoining county of Nor
folk Happisburgh is Hazebro and
Hunstanton Ilunston and visits to the
west country have revealed that
Badgeworthy is Badgery and Corn
wood Kernwood The result is that
he would not dare to make a shot at
Uttoxeter or Bathampton never hav
ing happened to hear either referred
to by a native After all there are
unfortunate differences of opinion
among Londoners even as to South
ward Brompton and the twTo Broin
leys London Chronicle
Dont Be Too Thoughtful
Some people are often accused of be
ing thoughtless but better that should
happen sometimes than always being
regarded as too thoughtful The habit
of thinking too deeply on every item
has an immense amount of failure at
the bottom
Whether it was best to learn short
hand or a language perplexed one in
dividual for seven months He could
not make up his mind as to which he
would derive the most advantage from
He miglit have learned any one of
those accomplishments in the time he
took to think about it
This is the case with many people
and Fortune has an awkward habit of
crushing the too thoughtful just as
much as the thoughtless London An
swers
Vhat Is Sound
The natural question What is
sound opens up a world of mystery
and of delight to those that like that
sort of thing Anything that sets up
vibrations in the air where there is an
ear to receive them makes a noise
An alarm clock in a vacuum jar may
whir ever so busily but it makes no
noise There must be air or there is no
sound and there must be an ear to
carry the vibrations to- the brain or
there is no noise Delineator
Majesty
My wife adores the majesty of the
Alps whereas I the majesty of the
ocean said Pfeif
And your dr ghter inquired a
friend
Oh she just adores majesty by it
self Lustige Blatter
aatai3qitei6JiMwiTMM mm
A CASTILIAHBRflVADO
Revolting Scene Pictured by a
Spanish Novelist
MPRVF OF THE HAUGHTY DON
Striking Description of the Daring and
Courage Displayed by the Old Gen
eral Who Would Not Permit an Eng
lishman to Outdo Him
The realistic Spanish novelist
Valdes in one of his most popular
stories Sister San Supllce trans
lated by Nathan Haskell Dole gives
a description of a retired Spanish gen
erals afternoon out which will illu
minate many chivalric incidents in
Spanish life and aptly Illustrates the
reckless daring and courage of which
the average haughty don is liberally
possessed The scene is a sort of pic
nic grounds in the outskirts of Seville
Meantime the animation had been
on the increase among the ruffians
The period of unmannerly action had
come One of them climbed upon a
table to make a speech and then the
others by way of applause threw
sherry and manzanilla in his face
Another was trying to lift with his
teeth a companion whom drunkenness
had stretched out on the floor He did
not succeed ne merely tore his sack
coat Still others were committing
absurd and extravagant actions mak
ing a great noise and uproar
The count remained grave and
silent drinking one glass of sherry
after another But his eyes were no
longer as usual incomprehensible and
unfathomable like those of a man tired
of life Though he did not speak or
move about he seemed a different
man
The Englishman had taken off his
jacket and waistcoat and rolling up
his shirt sleeves was exhibiting his
biceps which were really powerful
and trying to break empty bottles on
his arm Once blood had come but he
went on breaking the bottles without
paying any attention to it Then he
asked the waiter to bring a bottle of
rum and a large glass He filled this
to the brim with the liquor and then
slowly without moving a muscle or
even winking lie drained it to the bot
tom Then he sat down at the table
opposite the count and said solemnly
You cant do that
A flash of fury gleamed through
the harebrained noblemans eyes but
he succeeded in restraining himself
and turning the rest of the bottle into
the glass he calmly ordered the wait
er to bring him some pepper He
threw in a pinch of it then threw into
it his cigar ashes heaped up before
him and without saying a word with
the same scornful contemptuous smile
drained the glass and not content with
that bit it in pieces We saw his lips
spotted with blood The company re
ceived with oles and shouts of tri
umph this proof of an unconquerable
stomach in which it seemed as though
the national honor were concerned
Our neighbors in the other booths
must have reached the same happy
grade of temperature for nothing was
heard but extravagant shouts the
crashing of glasses coarse laughter
and swearing
The count was not yet satisfied
with his victory over the Englishman
While he was swallowing with appar
ent calmness the glasses of liquor
which were offered to him he did not
cease to devour him with his eyes
carried away by a dull madness which
soon broke out nis eyes which were
the only part of his impassive face
that moved gleamed more and more
ferociously like those of a madman
when a straitjacket has been put on
him The Englishman continued to
boast of his strength ne was now
thoroughly intoxicated and talking im
pudently enough to the others who
were not so drunk
So you are very valiant are you
asked the count still smiling disdain
fully
More than you retorted the Eng
lishman
Don Jenaro started to spring at him
but the others restrained him Soon
calming himself he said
If you are so brave why not put
your hand on the table
What for
To pin it down with mine
The Englishman without an in
stants hesitation stretched out his
huge brawny hand The count took
out of his pocket a damaskeened dag
ger and laid his delicate gentlemanly
hand on the Englishmans and with
out hesitation and with a ferocious
grip he raised the point with the other
and drove it through both into the ta
ble
The women uttered a cry of terror
All of us men ran to their assistance
A few left the place in search of help
In an instant our booth was filled with
blood From the wounds great drops
of blood streamed staining the hand
kerchiefs which we applied to them
A doctor who happened to be among
the bystanders dressed the wounds
provisionally with the few means at
his disposal The count smiled while
they were dressing his hand The
Englishman was as sick as a horse
and soon the count was the same and
both were taken to such rooms as the
establishment had to offer and went
to bed Every one left commenting
on the barbarism of the deed
Hit Harder
Woman is considered the weaker
vessel she remarked and yet
Well she queried as she hesitated
And yet she continued man is
the oftener broke Exchange
Be rich in patience if thou In goods
be poor Dunbar
MEETING A CROCODILE
The Animal and the Hunters Wero All
Taken by Surprise
While looking for a hippopotamus it
was the fortune of the author of
Uganda to Khartum to encounter a
crocodile under somewhat unusual cir
cumstances He was following a fresh
track leading through the dense under
growth from the lake inland Two
men accompanied him one carrying
his camera and the other his second
gun while he shouldered his rille
Suddenly I heard n rustling noise In
front of me and realized that some
creature was approaching but what
It could not be the hippo because there
was no thunderous tread but I had no
time to think for the creature what
ever it might be was upon me in a sec
ond
At two yards I discovered what it
was an immense crocodile more than
twelve feet long
I was right in its path and there was
no possible escape on either side so I
stood still with my riile at shoulder
and waited The crock did not wait
however and In some remarkable way
it hustled me to one side almost knock
ed me over and endeavored to make his
way to the water
To dispute his right of way would
have been folly I realized only a hor
rible soft wriggling mass pressing
against my legs In a most sickening
way Why ho did not bite me I do not
know At first I thought he had done
so as he brushed against my leg but I
found It was only his horny scales that
scraped my shin And he was more
taken by surprise than I was and for
got all about his huge jaw and the
lasting impression he might have made
upon my legs
After he had passed I turned to see
how the men would fare One had got
back to the shore and so was no longer
in view The other man with the cam
era was the funniest sight His head
was stuck fast in the thick brambles
and his legs were in the air the cam
era of course in the mud beside him
I do not think the crock could have
seen him for he had literally taken a
header into the bush and his legs were
far above the crocodiles jaws
THE SNEEZE
In Past Ages It Played a Very Im
portant Part In Life
Many odd notions still exist as to
sneezing and some persons may be
heard to exclaim Bless my soul
once Bless my soul twice and so
on after each sneeze But in past
ages the sneeze really played a very
important part
In ancient Greece the people saluted
each other whenever any one present
chanced to sneeze As Xenophon was
addressing the Greek army in a mo
ment of defeat on a historical occa
sion a soldier sneezed The lines of
battle were formed at once for the
sneeze was deemed a good omen and
the Greeks were successful
Among the Hebrews when a person
sneezed the bystanders would ssr
Tobinz chaiim A long life to you1
In India criminals on the rack of tor
ture have saved their own lives by
sneezing accidentally
A humorous story about sneezing Is
told in that wonderful collection of
oddities The Arabian Nights A
schoolmaster was particular in teach
ing his pupils the value of politeness
He also told them that whenever he
sneezed they should clap their hands
and say Long live our noble master
One day master and pupils went out
for a stroll The air was hot and all
soon grew very thirsty Great was
their joy at last to find a well But
the bucket was at the bottom of the
well and so the schoolmaster went
down to bring it up The boys seized
the rope and tugged for dear life Just
as the schoolmaster reached the top of
the well he sneezed The boys let go
the rope and clapped their hands shout
ing Long live our noble master
As for the poor schoolmaster he fell
to the bottom of the well where he
may be to this day for all one knows
Milwaukee Wisconsin
Swords Bent Double to Test Them
If you have an opportunity at any
time of examining a sword such as is
used in naval and military services
you may notice that just below the
hilt an inch or two down the blade
there is a small disk of brass welded
into the blade The meaning of this
brass might well escape any one not
possessed of a well developed sense of
curiosity Swords are subjected to
very severe tests before being issued
and this brass piece indicates that one
of the tests to which the sword was
subjected was to have its point bent
right back until it touched the hilt at
the brass spot Swords that have suc
cessfully withstood this severe test are
trustworthy London Chronicle
Tested It
Willie said the boys mother who
was preparing to go out you mustnt
eat that cake in the pantry while Im
gone It will make you sick
Three hours later when she returned
Willie said You didnt know what
you were talking about mamma That
cake didnt make me sick a bit Chi
cago News
Too Willing
Oid Lady in tears to chemist Wi
will you poison my dear lit little Fido
Hes in such such agony Chemist po
litelyWith pleasure madam Old
Lady indignantly With pleasure you
nasty unfeeling man Then you shant
do it London Answers
A Fast Train
Passenger Does this train stop any
where for dinner Brakeman Nah it
dont Passenger Then I understand
for the first time why it Is called s
fast train Judge
gGXSSXsXsXSSXjS
JC JHI 1 J X Oc W ILlu MLtiK
General Contracting Painters and Decorators
Not How Cheap but How Good with Us
Office and Shop west of Fitst National Bank
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V PRESIDENT A C EBERT CASHIER
JAS S DOYLE Vice President
THE
CITIZENS BANK
OF McCOOK NEB
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DIRECTORS
V FRAHKUti JAS S DOYLE A C EBERT t
y tSfiVtSl fqlS
Monogram
A BOY OR A GIRL
CAN EARN AS MUCH AS A MAN
We want bovs and jjirls who want to earn mouoy to solicit subscriptions to tbo
Kansas City Weekly Star Dont hositato because you aro ymuiK as vou can do the
work as readily as an older person and we will pay you ju it the same The Kiinsny City
Weekly Staris the best kown weekly nowspapor in the west and jourpare time spent
working for it will pay you handsomely not in toys watches or other small wares but
in cash Writo today for torms and full information
Address UE WEEKLY STAR Kansas City Mo
ifStliilMofM
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well as the account of the merchant and farmer If you
have not already opened an account do so today no mat
ter how small it will be cheerfully accepted
Capital and Surplus 7500000
Safety deposit boxes for rent These are always inside
our fire and burglar proof vault 100 per year
Make your friend a birthday present of some
We have an excellent line of samples from
which you can choose embossed in one
or two colors or in bronze or gold any
letters or combination of letters Call and
see samples of the monograms and stock
The TRIBUNE Office
ironed
I vjr i wm 1
in a Stock Certificate of the
McCook
Building Loan
Association
u
tatlonery
No better or safer
investment is open to
you An investment
of 100 per month for
120 months will earn
80 nearly 9 percent
compounded annually
Dont delay but see
the secretary today
Subscriptions r e
ceived at any time for
the new stock just
opened
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