1 V
f
By F M KIMMELL
Largest Circulation in Red Willow Co
Subscription 1 a Year in Advance
Official Paper of Redwillow County
It has been truthfully said tbnt if
mon were more honest and just there
would bo less exercise for generosity or
benevolence Men need n fair honest
opportunity rather than benevolence
New Money Order Forms
Postmaster Kimmell is in receipt of
advice from the postofllce department
that a new form of mouey order will be
introducodNovember 15 Offices having
old forms on hand will bo required to
uso their old forms before starting on
new ones On this account the new
orders will not come into general uso
until about tho first of January The f
distinctive features of the new form are
a marginal coupon showing the amount
of tho order in multiples of S5 to 100 and
tho name and addiess of remitter will
appear on face of order as woll as on ad
vice Tho nize of the order is also
changed being wider and somewhat
shorter than the old one The color of
the paper used will be blue tho same as
at present The marginal check is in
tended to safeguard the public against
raised money orders The name of
tho remitter being shown on the order
it will meet with favor from business
men as many people in sending a money
order simply enclose it in an envelope
without further information than con
tained on the order itself
PUBLIC LIBRARY NOTES
Tho following articles may be found
in the November North American Re
view
Sir Henry Irving by L P Austin
This article was completed by Mr Aus
tin but a few days before his sudden
death and was written in the expecta
tion that it would be published as orig
inally intended on the occasion of the
late Sir Henry Irvings projected visit to
the United States in 1906
Black Mastin a side light on sla
very by Calvin Dill Wilson
Japans Commercial Aspirations
by Frederick Courtland Penfield
The Pacific Ocean its shores its
islands and the vast region beyond will
become tho chief theatre of events in the
worlds great hereafter William H
Seward in the United States senate
1858
The Clansman by Thomas Dixon
Jr is one of our new books it is a dra
matic love story which shows Abraham
Lincoln as the true friend of the South
Tho Life of the Bee by Maurice
Maeterlinck author of Wisdom and
Destiny The Treasure of the Hum
ble -etc This book deals with the life
of the bee treated in Maeterlincks own
peculiar vein It is by no means tech
nical passages of the highest lyrical
beauty abound while reflections anal
ogies and poetical digressions are not
wanting It will appeal to every bee
keeper and bee lover no less than to all
who value Maeterlincks worts
Jimmy Brown Trying to Find
Europe by W L Alden is one of our
new juvenile books Inthis new Jimmy
Brown book Jimmy is sent to live with
his married sister where he is soon up
to all sorts of amusing pranks Finally
in company with Mike an Irish boy
he sets out to find his parents He has
no better address than Grand Hotel
Europe Various surpassing adven
tures lead to the reunion of Brown fam
ily in Paris
Library hours Mornings from 1030
to 12 oclock afternoons from 130 to 6
oclock evenings from 7 to 9 oclock
Sunday afternoon 2 to 5 oclock
Ida McCarl Librarian
Many children inherit constitutions
weak and feeble others due to child
hood troubles Hollisters Rocky Moun
tain Tea will positively cure children
and make them strong 35 cents Tea or
Tablets L W McConnell
Now is the time to get two papers for
almcstthe price of one The Tribune
and Weekly Inter Ocean 105
Ayers
What are your friends saying
about you That your gray
I hair makes you look old
I And yet you are not forty
x osipone mis looking oia
Hair ViSor
Use Ayers Hair Vigor and
restore to your gray hair all
the deep dark rich color of
early life Then be satisfied
Ayer1 Hair Vigor restored tlie natural
color to ray gray lmir and I am greatly
pleased It is all you claim for It
ilnsE J Vandecae Mecbanlcsvlllo N V
5100 bottle
All drucems
for
Dark
J C AYEKCO
IjivchII Mass
Haiii
CITY CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS
Catholic Order of services Mass
8 a m Mass and sermon 1000 n m
Evening service at 8 oclock Sunday
school 230 p m Every Sunday
J J Loughran Pastor
Episcopal Services in St Albans
church as follows Every Sunday in the
inonth Sunday school at 10 oclock am
Morning prayer at 11 a m and evening
prayer and sermon at 8 The third Sun
day in the monthtHoly Communion at
730 a m All are welcome
E R Earle Rector
Methodist Sunday school at 10 am
Sermons 11 and 8 Class at 12 Mass
meeting at 3 Epworth League at 630
Praise and prayer service at 730 Mrs
Beck and daughter will sing at each
service Mrs Beck will proach in the
morniqg Everybody invited
M B Carman Pastor
Congregational Sunday school at
10 Preaching at 11 am and 7 30 p m
C E at 630 p m leader Miss Lily
Campbell Prayer meeting Wednesday
evening at 8 pm Rev H C Halber
Bleben of Palisade will preach in ex
change with tho pastor Note change
in hour of evening services Special
music All are cordially invited
Geo B Hawkes Pastor
Advertised Letters
The following letters were advertised
by McCook postofiice October 18th 05
Anderson Mr John Bondeu M D B
Brooks Mr J Li Brown Mr Samuol
Becker Mr Cims
Blondiu Geo B
Bryan C O
CofTman Mr Frank
Chadwoll
Connolly C F
Daniels Mr G S
Freoval Win 2
GrpenoMrClarenco F
Gibean Mr Joseph
nines Eugeno
Hulbort W II
Hoagland Mr Iliran
Johnson Mrs Anna
Kelch Mr Peter
Knobbs Mrs W E
Lee Miss Hattio
Mathews Miss Polly
Mills E Z
ONeal Mr Dick
Pinnico C B
Petra Miss Bessio
Phillips Mrs Mamie
Russell Mr J
Show J G 2
Sheets Mr A
Shipp Mr Edward
Snyder F L
Tarble Capt A
Bates Mr J J
Boughtoti S A
Churchill L P
Cahill Mr M
Cook F C
Campbell John
Dorsan W J
Foster Edward
Graves Miss Ida
Huseman Mr Henry 2
Hall Mr C A
Hermann John Jr 2
Ingles Mr Caleb
James Miss Kattio B
King Mr John
Lee Mrs Lou
McCray Mr A L
Meyer Mr J H
Martin Miss Lucy
ODoll Sidney F
Persinger
Petkovic Josip
Regan Pat
Shauccr Mr John
Smith Mr Frank
Snyder Mrs Ethel
Smith Miss Agnes
Smith R H
Thayor Lewis
Thompson Miss JennieThornquist Mr Carl
Thompson Genovive Warner Mr A J
Wheeler Mr EE
When calling for these letters please
say they were advertised
F M Kimmell Postmaster
Like Finding Money
Lon Cone Bro the popular drug
gist are making an offer that is just
like finding mouey for they are selling
a regular 50 cent bottle of Dr Howards
celebrated specific for the cure of con
stipation and dyspepsia at half price
In addition to this large discount they
agree to return the money to any pur
chaser whom the specific does not cure
It is quite unusual to be able to buy
fifty cent pieces for a quarter but that
is what this offer really means for it is
only recently through the soliciation of
Druggist Lon Cone Bro that this
medicine could be bought for less than
fifty cents they urged the proprietors to
allow them to sell it at this reduced
price for a little while agreeing to sell a
certain amount The result has justifi
ed their good judgment for the sale has
been something remarkable
Anyone who suffers with headache
dyspepsia dizziness sour stomach
specks before the eyes or any other liver
trouble should take advantage of this
opportunity for Dr Howards specific
will cure all these troubles But if by
any chance it should not Lon Cone
Bro will return your money
To Telephone Subscribers
Owing to the fact that the construc
tion of the new exchange is now in prog
ress subscribers will be bothered more
or less with their instruments not work
ing as good as they might until this
work is completed but I assure you our
best efforts will be used to keep out all
trouble as near as possible
C I Hall Manager
It May Seem Early
but Coleman is already receiving ship
ments of holiday goods He is yearly
enlarging and improving this department
of his business and this season will of
course excel any previous one hence he
is beginning early to lay in his attrac
tions for the big holiday trade he has a
right to anticipate
The Last English Decapitation
The last occasion of decapitation fo
high treason In England was I fancy
that of Thistlewood and his four com
panions for the Cato street conspiracy
I take the following from Thornburys
Old Stories Eetold
Exactly a quarter of an hour after
the last man was hung the order was
given to cut the bodies down The
heads were than haggled off with bru
tal clumsiness with a surcreons knife
J The mob expressed loudly their horror
and disgust more especially when the
turnkey who exhibited the heads drop
ped that of Brunt Hello butter fin
gers r shouted a rough voice from the
rolling crowd below The day had gone
by for such useless brutality-
This horrible scene was enacted on
May 1 1820 Notes and Queries
WILD MEN OF AUSTRALIA
An Aboriginal Dwelling and a Sweet
but Uninviting Dish
An explorer In the wilds of northern
Australia writes While at work one
day Mr Hingston found an aboriginal
dwelling -which revealed evidences of
architectural design seldom displayed
Ivy Australian aborigines It was evi
dently a main camping depot oval in
shape about sixteen feet long and four
teen feet high It was built of layers
of straw Intermixed with a good stiff
clay Small openings as windows were
numerous all round the slues The
door was the only drawback This
was a mere burrow hole about one foot
from the ground and one was com
pelled to crawl in on all fours to enter
this primitive type of mansion When
we cleared the river we anchored at
Maria island Seeing some of the
blacks on the beach we went to Inter
view them They were apparently
frightened however and abandoned
the canoes on which they were at work
and cleared into the bush Care was
taken not to interfere with their pos
sessions and pipes and tobacco were
left where the natives could find them
Rambling about we came upon an open
space of considerable extent marked
out in large squares with stone on
which were planted three to five feet
high five or six hollow posts which
were stuffed full of human bones All
the posts were painted red We doubt
less had stumbled upon a sacred spot
There were some nice skulls but not
a thing was interfered with
A few miles up the river we struck
a big camp of natives but they cleared
into the bush as soon as they caught
sight of us We waited some time at
the camp and the blacks returned sat
isfied that we did not intend mischief
The usual presents of tobacco and pipes
were given and they were received
with the greatest satisfaction Indeed
we became perfect friends for the time
being To seal the friendship or per
chance It may have been the native
fashion of looking toward you a great
buck came to me with a wooden ves
sel shaped like a canoe in his hand and
full of honey I noticed on the top a
ball of grass The chap held the honey
to me but I shook ray head so he took
the ball of grass whisked it about in
the sirup and popped It into his mouth
After sucking it dry he put it back into
the honey and when nicely soaked of
fered it to me a gafn He evidently
wished me to follow his example but
I passed There was a fine iguana on
the fire just nicely cooked This I
did try and it was really good just
like chicken
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
It Isnt a bit cooler to be on the
shady side of life
Every man likes to learn but no man
likes to be taught
To be a man is to be the worryj of
some woman to be a woman is -to-be
the worry of some man
Before doing anything as a result of
enthusiasm or excitement see if your
enthusiasm or excitement will not wear
off
Every man flatters himself that he
will finally whip his enemy and that
ho will give him a good one when ho
gets at him
It is said charity begins at home As
a matter of fact there is a good deal
of complaint because charity does not
begin at home
When a man gels married he is apt
to think everybody should give him a
present but how he hates to give wed
ding presents when his friends get
married Atchison Globe
Strength of Mussels
You must some time try to open
the shell of a fresh water mussel or a
sea clam You will find one the size
of your hand has great strength al
though both his muscles may not be
larger than those of one of your fin
gers I have often seen a boy pick up
a mussel and insert his fingers before
the shell was quite closed thinking he
would open it again Few boys can
succeed They usually have hard pull
ing to get their fingers free A big
mussel can bite hard Were it not
that the edge of the shell in big speci
mens is smooth and thick a boy might
get his fingers cut to the bone St
Nicholas
A Wasp and a Fly
An observer tells this I was once
an interested spectator of a short
struggle between a wasp and one of
those large flies like a bee with a big
flat head The pair were on the
ground and I watched while the wasp
after probably stinging the fly delib
erately severed the head from the body
and then finding it still too heavy a
burden cut off the tail end of the fly
and flew off with the trunk without
waiting to perform its toilet The
whole operation took about five min
utes and from the masterly manner
the wasp set to work he was evidently
a practiced hand
Molieres Births nml Deaths
There are two tablets in Paris in
forming the sightseer that he is passing
the house where Moliere was born
One is in the Rue du Pont Neuf the
other at the corner of the Rue Sauvai
where it meets the Rue St Honoro
One inscription says that Moliere was
born in 1G20 and the other in 1G22
Some time ago there were two houses
in which Moliere was said to have died
A Trick of Luck
Luck never manages things just
right said the Irritable man who dis
likes music It might just as well
have been the other way round but
it wasnt
What is the trouble now
My daughter who plays the piano
ias a sore throat and the one who
Blngs has a sore finger
LI TIME MYSTERIES
SOME RIDDLES IN LIFE THAT HAVE
NEVER BEEN SOLVED
Lands and Peoples That Are Suppos
ed to Have Disappeared The Leg
end of the Lost Atlantis The An
cient Pygmies of Tennessee
The public appetite craves nothing
so much as a riddle a secret to guess
but nowadays every mans life is so
bare so exploited and we live so much
out of doors from the cradle to the
grave that very few facts or fancies
can be kept hidden There were how
ever certain njysteries which during
the last century the American public
pondered and worried over which are
yet unsolved and except by a few old
people are almost forgotten
One of these perhaps the oldest is
the question whether beneath the At
lantic not far from the Bahamas there
is a sunken continent known to the
Greeks as the lost Atlantis It was
still talked of familiarly in the first
half of the last century Seafaring
men declared that when the water was
calm and clear they had caught
glimpses of ancient cities beneath with
their glittering roofs and spires and
that in certain conditions of the atmos
phere the tolling of the bells could be
distinctly heard Treatises were writ
ten by learned professors to prove the
probability of the legend and other
treatises as learned and vehement to
flout and jeer at it as an idle fable
Certain flotsam and jetsam which
was washed ashore after heavy storms
on the coasts of Georgia and Florida
logs of strange woods unknown to this
generation coins bits of carved marble
and beaten brass was ascribed to the
long dead workmen of Atlantis
The lost colony is now known only
as the subject of an ancient fable but
years ago it was by most educated
people believed to be an actual fact
Another much discussed mystery
then was what had become of the col
ony of civilized people who at the time
of the settlement of the country lived
on the western coast of Greenland
That country is as you will see by a
glance at the map shaped something
like the half of an egg cut lengthwise
the flat side upon the earth the point
to the south The rounded center is a
heap of impenetrable ice mountains
As the centuries go by enormous
bodies of ice slip from it into the sea
and breaking off drift slowly down
along our coasts These are the ice
bergs of the Atlantic ocean Now
along the narrow slip of habitable land
which edges Greenland on this side
tradition says once dwelt a civilized
people who both in knowledge and the
habits of life were far in advance of
the Laplanders
They were well known to the early
Danish navigators who made frequent
mention of them in their logs and re
ports The question yet unanswered is
Where are they now Tradition among
the Laplanders reports that the whole
colony two centuries ago emigrated in
a body to the eastern coast of Green
land attempting to cross the hitherto
Impenetrable masses of ice in the cen
ter No tidings ever have come back
from them Some of the scientific men
who accompanied the Hayes expedi
tion made this question a matter of
special study They reported that a
doubt could hardly exist that these
people did once inhabit that part of the
coast and that they now had utterly
vanished If they had been swept
away by a pestilence their household
belongings at least would be left to tell
of them but not a shard of pottery
not a single grave remains to show
that they ever lived It was supposed
by the Danish missionaries that they
bad perished in the ranges of ice
mountains but among the Laplanders
there were traditions that they had
safely reached the western coast and
settled there now forming a civilized
community wholly isolated from the
rest of the world One of Nansens
voyages was in fact directed to that
coast in the hope of finding this col
ony He was not able to reach the
northern part of the coast and the
mystery is therefore yet unsolved
Another problem which perplexed the
last generation was the long extinct
pygmy race which centuries ago un
doubtedly inhabited the Tennessee
mountains Legends among the In
dians told of such a tribe of dwarfs
who were supposed to be of more in
telligence than the red men But these
legends were very hazy A burying
ground however actually was discov
ered in the early part of the last cen
tury in which all of the skeletons were
of pygmy proportions Some of them
were carried away to college museums
But as far as I know no scientific in
quiry has ever been directed to this
question
Another curious matter which caused
much speculation in the early part of
the last century was the fate of the
colony of French emigres who fled to
this country in the eighteenth century
ke IHatTi V uCpin
N g irilo3 a visitor to the Black
uiMiiu more forcibly than the per
fect security of a country where every
man Is a warrior and goes about his
dally business with his revolver in his
belt The traveler is sacred to tho
Montenegrins whose manners prove
the truth of the saying that they are
the aristocracy of tho Servian race
Dressed In their picturesque national
garb of blue knickerbockers white gai
ters and crimson jackets with pork pie
caps of scarlet and black on their
heads the mountaineers look the beau
Ideal of a nation of fighters such as
the old Greeks must have been In the
days when they all carried arms Their
whole history during the five centuries
of Montenegrin Independence has been
one long series of frontier feuds and
even now guerrilla warfare on the Al
banian border is not extinct But to
the stranger within their gates what
ever be his nationality the mountain
eers are friendly and hospitable -Westminster
Review
The Stars and Stripes
A German periodical has the follow
ing story as to the origin of the stars
and stripes The Idea originated with
a Dane named Marker He was born
on the island of St Croix of the Danish
West Indies where his father and
grandfather had lived In 1795 he left
his native island and proceeded to Phil
adelphia He was among the first to
join a company of volunteers for
American liberty and independence
For valor shown at Oriskany he was
elected captain and to show his grati
tude he designed a flag in whose upper
corner he applieu the thirteen star
emblematic of the thirteen original
states of tho Union This was the first
occasion upon which the star span
gled banner was unfurled The origi
nal flag of Captain Marker is supposed
to be in existence In some national col
lection of relics of the war of the Revo
lution
lints In Parliament
During the reign of King John 1109
the king agreed to settle the difficulty
with Philip II of France respecting the
Dutchy of Normandy by single com
bat John earl of Ulster was the
English champion and as soon as he
appeared on the field of combat his
adversary put spurs to his horse and
fled leaving the earl master of the
field King John asked the earl what
his reward should be Titles and land
I want not he replied but in remem
brance of this day I beg the boon for
myself and my successors to remain
covered in the presence of your majes
ty and all other sovereigns of this
realm This request was granted and
never revoked and it is said to account
for the custom in parliament of mem
bers wearing their hats London Stand
ard
Webster ns a Farmer
Webster was a scientific farmer He
believed thoroughly in the value of
blooded stock At Marshfield he had a
herd of sixty or eighty head of cattle
composed entirely of thoroughbred an
imalsof Alderneys Ayrshires and
Devons He had several yoke of Dev
on oxen which were his particular
pride Besides there were blooded
sheep and swine All In all Webster
was considered by his neighbors the
best farmer of the country He was
moreover a friend generous and con
siderate There used to be a saying
down Plymouth way that a stranger
could always tell when Webster was at
home by the cheerful looks of the peo
ple for ten miles around Oliver Bron
son Capen In Country Life In America
Roman Lamps
Roman lamps were of many sizes
but most of them very closely resem
bled what is at present denominated a
sauce or gravy boat At one end there
was a ring through which the finger
was passed when the light was carried
The body of the vessel was filled with
oil and at the other end there was a
small tube through which a rag wick
was passed When this was lighted the
smoke and odor of the rancid fat em
ployed were extremely offensive Many
Roman poets mention Ihe abominable
effluvium sent out by the lamps at the
feasts
A South African Name
The hardy Boer voortrekkers had a
fine sense of poetry in naming places
in South Africa In the Transvaal
there is a place which rejoices in the
name of AVaachteenbeitjebeidcbasch
fontein It is a name says a Cape
Town exchange which speaks of lei
sure whose gentle invitation to the
thirsty traveler to rest a little by the
brook beneath the cool shade of the
tree calls up at once the thought of a
green oasis in a dry and barren land
Mme de Maintenon
Once when Mme de Maintenon who
had risen from the gutter to grandeur
was looking pensively In tha golden
pool at Versailles her companion not
ing the fish in the crystal water ob
served How languid the carp are
Yes replied the famous beauty with
fl Klffh rllPV iiru libo mo thor mice
3 4 r Sn 4 U nAM4 l 4 o - u ur
uuu Luuii iciujju in uie iiuimuin jmit Hheir mncl
or Alabama Liae those irencninen
who found safety in Delaware they
were for the most part of noble blood
Marquises and counts earned their liv
ing in Wilmington as dancing masters
and even chefs and their descendants
live there still
But the poor gentlefolk who went
penniless to Alabama to escape the
guillotine penetrated the wilderness
and made up a colony of vine growers
farmers etc They worked helplessly
awhile starved and then melted away
mysteriously Whether they returned
to ungrateful France or died in their
exile nobody knows It was a ro
mantic tragical question which much
Interested the last generation and is
now forgotten But It U still un
answered New York Herald
Mans Helpmeet
She was not made out of his head to
top him not out of his feet to be tram
pled upon by him but out of his side
to be equal with him under his arm to
be protected and near his heart to be
loved Matthew Henry
Kot Traveling Incognito
Miss Smley is going to travel
un-
der an assumed name
You surprise me
Yes she Is going to be married next
week and start on her honeymoon
To be sure that you are right Is
proper certainly but also be sure
when you are right to go ahead Kan
sas City Star
a of oxe mm
sow UxIqj are told which are finer
ihau that of the encounter In earlier
years with the old Bermidotte himself
Bhe king had referred to the Norwe
gian as uiy jales at which Ole Bull
drawing himself up Inquired When
has a Norwegian shown himself dis
loyal to tho king Then without
waiting for au answer he announced
that he must at once take leave Upoi
this the king turned to him with aa
Imperious I command you to stay
But tho violinist shrugged his shoul
ders and replied Then I will see sire
whether a Norwegian rcmaius free in
the palace of the king of Sweden At
this as Ole Bull would tell when re
counting the scene there came into tha
face of the monarch the most winning
smile he had ever seen on a human
countenance and putting out his hand
Impulsively Bernadottc exclaimed
Nay I beg you to remain A prince
should hear the opinions of all his peo
ple And the talk which then resulted
was the basis of deep confidence on
both sides Century
IlcInecUcii the German Prodi pry
Christian Henry Helnecken the most
wonderful of all the worlds precocious
prodigies was born at Lubeck Ger
many in the year 1721 When but nine
and a half months of age this human
wonder could pronounce every word
contained In the Gorman language and
before he had rounded out his first year
of earthly existence he knew all the
leading events of the worlds history
At the age of fourteen months he could
give chapter and verse of any quoted
passage of the Scriptures and knew
the history of every book in both the
Old and New Testaments At the ago
of two and a half years he could an
swer every question In the geographies
and histories then In use and could con
verse with visitors In either German
French Dutch Latin or Greek His
fourth year was devoted to the study
of religion and ancient history He had
finished the studies mentioned and had
started on a course in oriental religion
when he suddenly died before complet
ing his fourth year
Three Boys and a Clock
Three boys in a house were told to
go and take the exact time by a clock
In the town The first lad went look
ed at the clock came back and said
It is 12 oclock In after life he
became a prosaic bookseller
The second boy was more exact Ho
said on returning that it was three
minutes past 12 He became a doctor
The third lad looked at the clock
found out how long It had taken him
to walk back to the house returned to
the clock then added the time of his
walk to the time of the clock and re
ported the result thus It is at this
moment 12 hours 10 minutes and lS
seconds That boy came to distinction
as Helmholtz the scientist
A Divided Chnreh
There is a very striking instance of
religious toleration in neidelberg an
ancient city of Germany One of the
most Important buildings of that town
is the Church of the Holy Ghost
Through the middle of this building
a partition wall has been run so that
services according to the Roman Cath
olic and the Protestant ritual may be
held at the same time In the year
1719 an attempt was made by Charles
Philip the Elector to deprive the Prot
estants of their half of the church but
the townspeople made so strong a re
sistance that he was obliged to desist
and even to remove the electoral court
from Heidelberg to Mannheim Lon
don Mail
ilumhlc Pie
There is a queer twist of language In
the phrase to eat humble pie The
word humble is a corrupted form of
the original numble which Is an In
edible part of the carcass of a deer and
would make very poor pie The words
humble pie have the same original
meaning as to eat crow a phrase
common in political life There Is an
enforced humility In this process and
the change from numble to humble
introduced a thought which harmo
nized with the Idea sought to be ex
pressed The last form of the phrase
has entirely supplanted the original
Ills Expenses
One of the candidates at an election
in Derbyshire England was a new
comer not remarkable for his generos
ity He found himself defeated at the
polls and bade adieu to the electors
with the words At any rate ladies
and gentlemen my wlfo and I have
spent a very happy fortnight In the
peak Yes came a sudden retort
from the crowd and thats all you
have spent
The Modest Girl
Ah my love sighed the ardent
lover if you only knew how beautiful
you are
You mustnt speak of it protested
the modest girl I dont want to
know
Why not
Because she said it would make
me too conceited Philadelphia Press
A Better Motto
My motto said the new lodger Is
Pay as you go
The landlady shook her head It
wouldnt do in my business she said
A man might remain a- month and
then forget his motto when heLwent
My motto Is Pay Saturday night or
rrn
Better Than Signs
Friend Are you superstitious Do
you believe in signs Successful Mer
chantNo Newspaper advertisements
sire better and cheaper
A Cold Wave
Yes and after she refused me Bho
waved her hand In farewelL
Sort of a cold wave wasnt it
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