A PET ECONOMY
JUmoif Every Man Maintain
One
Small Though It Mny Dc
Got a match about jou asked the
bookkeeper of the chief buyer
Wonder you wouldnt buy matches
once In awhile growled the buyer
Ive been supplying you with matches
for years
I never buy matches never have
and never will said the bookkeeper
It Is my pet economy Most evftry
man has one
And the bookkeeper was right Near
ly every man has a pet economy and
will go to a great length to Indulge it
At the Union club they still tell of a
worthy old member who was particular
about using a certain kind of soap but
was not willing to buy it They used
the soap at the club and he appropri
ated the cakes as fast as he needed
them He needed so many that the
steward changed the brand
The same spirit of economy in small
things makes other people stuff them
selves with bread in order that no but
ter may be left on their plate and wast
ed Hundreds of men would net dream
of buying a lead pencil To sa vc buy
ing stationery others write their let
ters at hotels which are generous in
providing writing materials Scores of
men and women save pennies by pick
vated trains and ferryboats And so
it goes It is not so much the actual
money saved that moves people in
these little schemes rather an inborn
desire to economize in something
But to return to the bookkeeper the
buyer and the matches The bookkeep
er continued
You are stingy with your old match
es Ill just take a lot and then Ill be
Independent of you
Then he emptied out half the box
New York Tribune
SHOES
Never wear a shoe that pinches the
heel
Never wear a shoe or boot tight any
where
Never come from high heels to low
heels at one jump
Never wear a shoe that will not al
low the great toe to lie in a straight
line
Never wear leather solo linings to
stand upon White cotton drilling oi
lmen is healthier
Never wear a shoe with a sole nar
rower than the outline of the foot
traced with a pencil close under the
rounding edge
Never wear a shoe with a sole turn
ing up very much at the toes as this
causes the cords on the upper part of
the foot to contract
Never have the top of the boots tight
as It Interferes with the action of the
calf muscles makes one walk badly
and spoils the shape of the ankle
Never think that the feet will grow
large from wearing proper shoes
Pinching and distorting make them
grow not only large but unsightly A
proper natural use of all the muscles
makes them compact and attractive
A Sure Thing
A tattered forlorn miss of fifteen
summers entered the office of a young
real estate man the other day Ordi
narily he is the politest of individuals
but this day he was so busy that he
didnt know where he was at So
with a swift glance out of the corner of
his eye he said rather sharply
Well what do you want
mister wont you buy
a ticket on our cuckoo clock replied
the girl hesitatingly
Buy a ticket on your cuckoo clock
What the deuce would I do with a
cuckoo clock even if I should get it
Oh you wont get it mister Please
buy a ticket
He bought Kansas City Independ
ent
Dosrwood Winter
A man from North Carolina who was
visiting in Philadelphia in the course
of conversation used the expression
dogwood winter
What do you mean by dogwood
winter asked his host
Dont you really know what dog
wood winter is demanded the man
from Hickory N C There is always
a spell of it in May when the dogwood
tree is in bloom For several days
there is cold disagreeable cloudy
weather and often a touch of frost
Down our way it never fails and we
call it dogwood winter I thought the
phrase was general
The Colors In Battle
Some people may not know that the
colors are not now taken Into action
Before a corps proceeds on service they
are placed in safe custody as suits
such honorable insignia and when
Johnny comes marching home again
they will be all the fresher for not be
ing carried through dusty lands and
trying rivers The men whose duty
It would have been to carry them and
stand by them to the last are nowa
days employed in less sentimental if
more useful duties
One Attraction Aliasing
Say said the young writer who
had been engaged by the circu3 man to
write up a prospectus of the show
Ive about exhausted my vocabulary
on this thing Have you a thesaurus
No by thunder said the circus
man Weve only got a rhinoceros
but Ill cable over and buy one New
York Times
The Bis Fire
Yes said the conductor I remem
ber it very well That was in 1897 the
year of the big fire
What big fire asked the other
i man
Dont you recollect Twenty nine
fellows on our line were bounced for
nocking down Chicago Tribune
DONT READ IN BED
Xt I t Oanecrom Practice While
Zjylnw Down Say an Authority
Reading In bed is seriously advised
bo the newspapers say by a physician
as conducive to repair and resting
relieving congestion emptying the
veins overfilled by prolonged evework
etc
It Is plain that placing the herd back
in a horizontal position so absolutely
meets the whole problem of a relief of
congestion by gravity and it is such a
very Important problem that It seems
strange that people with weak eyes
do not habitually practice reading in a
recumbent position perfectly comforta
ble Such advice carried out with ab
solute care aB to light and the position
of the book would in the case of a
thousand busy people add largely to
the number of hours which reading
could be indulged in without detriment
to the eyes or general health
Certainly the one who gives this
strange and pernicious advice could
never have tried the plan Some years
ago there was described a patented de
vice for suspending the book over the
horizontally placed head of a sick per
son whereby- reading would be possible
without holding the book in the hands
Even then one wonders how the light
could bo made to fall properly on the
Without a method of the kind
lng up discarded newspapers in the
nut evuii u wen person uuuiu uuiu u
book five minutes above the eyes
Reading in bed has ruined thousands
of good eyes Unless one sits up in
bed as if in a chair it is impossible to
hold the book in such a position that
the armsare not quickly tired and so
that the light falls on it properly When
reading lying down there is a traction
upon the Inferior recti muscles which is
highly injurious Every patient should
be warned never to read ia bed except
when sitting up as vertically as In a
chair American Medicine
STRONG PULSE BEATS
Canes In Which They Are Perceptible
to the Eye
It is not such an uncommon thing
said a physician to find a person
whose pulse beats can be plainly seen
and yet I suppose there are but few
outside of the profession who realize
the fact In most persons the beat
of the pulse cannot be perceived but
the mere fact that the beating is per
ceptible does not mean that the pulse
is other than normal I have come
across a number of cases where the
throbbing of the wrist could be plainly
seen and yet the persons rarely gave
evidence of abnormality in tempera
ture They were rarely feverish and
were in good physical condition gen
erally Pulses of this kind from this
j view which is based upon actual ob-
servations of cases do not indicate
anything more than an abnormal phys
ical condition in the formation of the
wrist veins
i I have met with one case which
vs possibly a little extraordinary in
that it was plainer and much more dis
tinct than any I had ever seen before
It could almost be heard The artery
would rise to a point almost as largo
as the ball of the little finger of a
child and would change from the white
of the skin to a blood purple with each
beat of the pulse I found it easy to
count the pulse beats without touching
the patients wrist I could see plainly
enough to keep the record and in order
not to err in my calculation I tested it
in several ways and found it was
rect and that there was no mistake in
i my counting with the naked eye
New Orleans Times Democrat
Origin of the Rattlesnake Flag
One of the most common devices
used on the American flags during the
early part of the Revolutionary strug
gle was an embroidered rattlesnake
above or below the legend Dont tread
on me
The origin of this design has been
traced to a remark made by Ben
Franklin At the time the flag was
adopted or immediately before Eng
land was shipping her criminals to
America and turning them loose on
the defenseless colonists After sev
eral murders had been committed by
these unwelcome immigrants Ben
Franklin some say in a joking spirit
suggested that the colonists retaliate
by sending a cargo of rattlesnakes to
the mother country and turning them
out in the gardens of the nobles
Speaking of Royalty
Damocles had been invited to dine
with the king of Syracuse Upon tak
ing his seat he instantly saw the sword
hanging by a hair above his head
I suppose he said to the king
you call that the hair apparent Di
onysius pretending to see no humor in
the remark replied 1 dont know
about that my boy but if it falls upon
your head it will make some crown
prints
This shows that the ancients were
not averse to joking even under trying
circumstances New York Times
The Lanprh
Chumpley That hypnotist is a fraud
He couldnt control my mind at all last
night
Pokely Of course he had some ex
cuse
Chumpley Yes He said there was
no material to wore on You ought to
have heard the audience give him the
laugh Tit Bits
A Secondary Consideration
Shes alius so fraid of somebody
swipin dat dog
Am It wuff anyting
Waal in dis hyah neighborhood a
ting doan have to be wuff nuffin to
git swiped Puck
A Sad Case
Pat Poor Mike is did
Terry Yis He niver aven lived to
injoy his life insurance Baltimore
World
Bat
That
SHE GOT A SEAT
Not Through the
tality She Had Invoked
Humor does not abound in the vigor
ous atmosphere of the London two
penny tube between 7 and 8 p m
therefore the passengers jammed up
near the fat irate woman one evening
last week greatly enjoyed the follow
ing
Thomas this very loudly while jog
ging a mild little husband as they both
swayed clutching the leather loops
overhead get a seat for me I tell
Conciliatory whispers came from the
mild man who glanced timidly at the
passengers his wife was pushing
against
Then Nonsense Yer could find
me a seat easy enough if yer wanted
to
More agonized whispers from the
husband and more loud demands from
the wife There was great local re
lief when an irreproachably dressed
young man politely gave up his seat
As the woman dropped heavily Into it
she beamed on him with Any one
can see youre not my usband sir
Manchester England Guardian
The Boethlck Indians
The Boethick Indians of Newfound
land at one time the aboriginal inhab
itants of the island can now only be
counted by one or two skeletons and a
few skulls so completely have they
been swept away The French employ
ed the Mic Mac Indians of Nova Scotia
to fight against and exterminate them
The Boethicks were a peaceable and
quiet race given to hunting and fish
ing They used canoes made of birch
rind and of skins of deer like the Es
kimo cayak They had no pottery and
used utensils of birch rind sewed to
gether but they employed soapstone
dishes as lamps their form being sim
ilar to those among the Eskimos at the
present day
They carved deer and walrus horns
and the bones of the seal into orna
ments which they wore on their dress
es and ornamented their heads with
combs The carvings are in triangu
lar patterns and out of the large col
lections in the museum at St John
there are no two ornaments having the
same pattern Their stone implements
were more rudely constructed than
those of the western Indians
Pat and the Jockey
Pat went to a race course the other
day and fell in with a number of sport
ing friends who were betting on the
races He was urged to bet but stead
fastly refused until he saw two of his
friends win a large sum on one of the
races Finally after much urging he
put half a crown on a horse from
which moment he became deeply inter
ested
As the horses came past the judges
box Pats fingers clutched the back of
the seat and his eyes were wide with
excitement The horse on which he
had bet finished sixth Without a
word but with a look of deep disgust
he got up and hurried down to the
paddock where the jockeys were Call
ing the youngster who had ridden that
particular horse aside Pat inquired in
deeply injured tones
In hivins name young man phwat
detained you London Chronicle
Snake Bite and Whisky
There is not on record an authenti
cated case of snake bite cured by
whisky Plenty of individuals bitten
while under the influence of liquor
have died and large amounts of alco
hoi have failed to save life in many
cases Only about one in six of those
bitten by venomous snakes dies The
remaining five are cured by anything
they happen to have taken Stirnua
tion is excellent but the giving of
whisky to drunkenness by lowering the
resistive vitality has undoubtedly been
a causative factor in many deaths sup
posedly from snake bite that would
otherwise not have occurred Ameri
can Medicine
Fatherly Finesse i
Father I forbid you to allow that
sapheaded Squilldiggs to enter the
house again
Daughter But I love him
Father I shall disinherit you I shall
shoot him I shall-
Daughter Boo h oo oo
Later
Father Say wife be sure you
double Gwendolins allowance today
and give it to her early I think she is
going to elope with young Squilldiggs
tonight San Francisco Bulletin
All the Difference
Ticket Collector to passenger In first
class carriage with second class ticket
Your ticket is second class sir You
must pay the difference
Passenger The second class car
riages were full
Collector Yes but there was plenty
of room third class
Passenger Quite so Pay me the
difference and Illcbange
Wanted a Hew One
Sandy I want tae buy a necktie
Shopman showing some fashionable
specimens Here Is a tie that is very
much worn
Sandy I dinna want ane thats very
muckle worn Ive plenty o them at
hame London Tit Bits
Makes It Good
fellow makes mif
hty good
money
Indeed
Sure he works in the mint
timore News
Bal
Here is a pointer Dont get angry
because it is the common error in
wrath to abuse the wrong person
Atchison Globe
Every base occupation makes one
sharp in Its practice and dull In every
other Sir Philip Sidney
THE GAME OFGAMES
Golf Saya Thi Writer Involves Irt
Science and Inspiration
It is true that there is a point of
view from which golf may be regarded
as an extremely simple game the very
simplest of all the games with a ball
and a club says William G Brown in
the June Atlantic The players object
is simple and single to the point of
simple mlndedness and singularity one
might say to put a small ball in a
small hole with the fewest possible
strokes But so are the objects of the
highest ambitions the guiding stars of
careers the most perplexed and devi
ous It is true likewise that all the
countless strokes a golfer makes are
resolvable into three kinds oT stroke
driving approaching and putting But
Mr Everard in a lecture unsurpassed
for truth and brilliancy by any in all
the extremely clever literature of golf
has declared that to make those three
strokes aright one must have art sci
ence and inspiration
From the moment the ball leaves the
tee whether it be topped pulled or
sliced or whether struck in proper
fashion a trifle below the medial line
and urged forward with an exquisite
free lashing out of the wrists it takes
flight as with wings and seeks its true
course as with a mind and purpose of
its own until it drops Into the cup with
a tintinnabulation that no louder clang
or pecan ever surpassed in its sugges
tion of victory and consummation
there is no foreseeing what perplexity
or temptation to carelessness or over
confidence it will present
Not twice off the tee ground and the
putting green will the possibilities and
probabilities of the stroke be quite the
same In the lie the wind the dis
tance to be traversed the obstacles to
be carried there are variations not to
be reckoned by any known mathemat
ics
Then as the match approaches its
dreadfully quiet climax of defeat or
victory the responsibility may grow
positively appalling The very delib
eration which impossible in most
games is so characteristic of this so
far from lessening the strain on ones
nerves undoubtedly heightens It One
has time to estimate the emergency to
realize the crisis
Not the fiercest rally at tennis not
the longest and timeliest home run at
baseball not the most heroic rush at
football requires a more rigid concen
tration of thought and energy or a
more dauntless courage than the flick
of a putter that sends the ball crawl
ing on its last little journey across the
putting green when the put is for the
hole and the hole means the match
There is not a quality of mind or body
I will not except or qualify at all
no not one that life itself proves ex
cellent which a circuit of the links will
not test
The Declaration
It is a rather curious fact that while
facsimiles of the Declaration of Inde
pendence were common enough sev
eral years ago and were largely used
for advertising purposes they are now
very scarce so scarce that a Phila
delphia collector recently paid 10 for
one bearing the advertisement of a
western railroad The original docu
ment preserved in glass is still to be
seen in the possession of the depart
ment of state in Washington but it has
become so faded as to be nearly illeg
ible by reason of which a photograph
ic reproduction would be valueless
James D McBride had plates made
and secured a copyright on them in
1874 but these plates were later de
stroyed by fire and none are now in
existence Consequently the copies that
have been preserved are constantly in
creasing in value Philadelphia Rec
ord
Drury Lane
Drury lane was named after the
great family of the Drurys who once
lived there and Clare market after
Lord Clare The fame of Drury lane
is worldwide Who has not heard of
the famous pantomimes at Drury Lane
theater and of the many famous actors
and actresses who have played there
Who has not read of the wild exploits
i of Nell Gwynn the flower girl who ob
tained such an ascendency over the
Merrie Monarch Pepys calls her
j ty Nell and records how he saw her
j in Drury lane standing at her lodg
ings door in her smock sleeves and
bodice a mighty pretty creature
Chambers Journal
A Good Prophet
Cassidy Kearney seems to be doin
well in his prisint jol
Casey Ah but hell not lasht long
in it
Cassidy He seems dacint an sober
now
Casey Aye but hell not lasht a
month Oive said so iver since he got
the job two years ago an Oill bet
Oim right Philadelphia Press
When Seen Afar
Is matrimony an ideal condition
asked the little one
In perspective it is answered her
mother with a quick glance in the di
rection of the man who was reading a
newspaper at the breakfast table
Chicago Post
For a Mans Only a Man
Mr Bixby There Ive let my cigar
go out Do you know it spoils a ci
gar no matter how good it is if yea
allow it to go out
Mrs Bixby Yes A cigar is a good
deal like a man in that respect Pitts
burg Press
To be tricky and shrewd that is not
culture nor is it joy but to be square
and frank that is culture and it is
happiness Schoolmaster
The Griffon the first sailing vessel
on the great lakes passedthrough De
troit river in 1679
MOVING IN SCOTLAND
ON
Mrs
MAY 28 OCCURS THE ANNUAL
CARNIVAL OF FLITTING
One Day In Each Year When Furni
ture Vans and ChnoH IleiKii Su
preme An Odd Syntem Built Up on
the Caution1 of the Landlords
In Scotland May 2S Is annually given
over to a perfect carnival of flitting
In England houses of the higher
rents are taken by the year at any
quarter day and the lower rented ones
by the month or even by the week
The Uittinj Is thus spread over the
year and no confusion arises The
Scottish system is to let houses by the
year from May 28 Even the smallest
consisting of onlj one room are so let
On the great day in any large town the
sights afforded range from the laugh
able to the pathetic
As soon as it is daylight the vans
previously trysted begin their work
the goods are loaded up with more
haste than care and to the accompani
ment of the good housewifes lamenta
tions as some cherished household god
is roughly Hung into the van
Arrived at the destination further
troubles are in store Perhaps the new
house is not yet vacated and as the
van is required for other removals the
goods are dumped down in the street
and there the poor family Is left
stranded for the time Occasionally
some streets in Glasgow for instance
present an appearance of wholesale
evictions
So numerous are the demands that
vans cannot always be obtained and
every kind of vehicle including horse
less carriages popularly known as
hurleys are pressed into the service
supplemented by father mother and
the children each carrying pictures
mirrors or other cherished articles too
precious to trust to the tender mercies
of some ramshackle conveyance
These processions are moving along
all day The representative of law
and order upon this day at least is
very lenient his gruff Move on is
less in evidence and his ready note
book gets a rest There are no cases
of obstruction reported although often
loaded van9 have to remain in a street
all night
It may be that the polisman grasps
the humors of the situation or perhaps
a fellow feeling influences him No
doubt his own flitting is in progress
and he retires off duty to some strange
abode there to assist in carrying in
his goods to sup off a crust of bread
and cheese and sleep on the floor as
others have to do
A stranger naturally inquires the
cause of this one day given over to
chaos It is to be found In the cau
tion of thp Scottish landlord It is dif
ficult to obtain a house at any other
time than the lawful removal day and
the canny house owner has prudently
secured his rent a fortnight previously
May in
Moonlight flittings are thus prac
tically unknown and there is little
loss of rent from that cause The rents
being payable half yearly only the
cost of collection is reduced as is the
risk of loss to a minimum The sys
tem entails great hardship to working
men compelled to change the scene of
their labors They frequently cannot
obtain a house until term day and have
consequently to take lodgings and sup
port their family in another town
If fortunate enough to obtain a house
the landlord steps in and requires his
full years rent to be paid or deposited
in bank before he allows the goods to
be removed The unfortunate head of
a household is also responsible for the
full years rates of his new house
although he may have paid in full at
his vacated house
The only advantage to the tenant is
security of tenure for twelve months
and the certainty of being accommo
dated at the expiry in the general
scramble Of course it happens some
times through new houses being erect
ed that some one is able to start the
ball rolling a day or two before term
to the comfort of all involved in the
particular circuit but generally speak
ing May term day in Scotland is not
an institution to be admired and copied
Strange to say Sandy not only takes
this day philosophically but is much
mere addicted to flitting than people
south of the Tweed some families mov
ing regularly every year without any
apparent necessity One would scarce
ly expect the worry and discomfort of
the day and succeeding temporary
chaos to be voluntarily undertaken but
the fact is so
The continuance of the system itself
is a standing monument to the British
long suffering and law abiding nature
Pearsons Weekly
A Great Bargain
Winks A peddler was here to-
day and I got the greatest bargain
a whole pound of insect powder for
only 10 cents It looks just like dirt
but its awfully effective I tried it
Mr Winks Worked eh
Mrs Winks Yes indeed The ppd
dler said I should put a little in water
and apply it boiling hot and I did and
it killed every insect it touched New
York Weekly
Leading tip to It
Bobbie You know them preserves
out in th pantry wot you told me not
to eat
Mother Yes
Bobbie You know you said theyd
make me sick if I et em didnt you
Mother Yes
Bobble Well they didnt Ohio State
JournaL
The Blesainsr of Poverty
What a blessin is poverty ex
claimed the old man
A blessing
Why yes When youre real down
poor you have sich a good time hopin
fer the best Atlanta Constitution
MISTOOK HIS MAN
A Caution American Tourlnt and Ilia
Traveling Compnnlon
I A laiitiorw American traveling from
1 Paris to No some years ago found n
stranger In the compartment in which
he had secured a berth
Are you Mr said tko stran
ger
The American In surprise nn3wcrcl
affirmatively
Ila said the stranger I inquired
at the booking office who was to be
my traveling companion
The American realized that this was
no ordinary man and soon found him
self almos hypnotized by the stran
gers coAr Ending eye1
man proposed cards the
American suspected that he was a pro
fessional gambler He made many ex-
cuses finally saying that he cared for
none of the games which his compan
ion suggested
All right was the discomforting
reply well play anything you like
When the American mentioned an
obscure French game which he hoped
the other would not know ami found
his suggestion taken up eagerly he
was more than ever suspicious
But asked the American do you
know how to play it
No was the reply but you can
teach me
The American now had little doubt
that the man was a card expert look
ing for a victim but as no suggestion
of high stakes was made he concluded
to venture and after some hours play
ing had seen nothing on the part of hit
fellow passenger that looked like
cheating
But when next morning his compan
ion suggested that thej play again to
while away the time the American
grew suspicious again and pleaded a
headache
When they entered the station at
Nice the man handed the American
his card It bore the name of Lord
Russel of KUlowen lord chief justice
of England Youths Companion
THE OLD TIME DERBY
And How It Differ From the Meet of
These Itushiiif Days
It is strange indeed to look back up
on the manners and customs of the rac
ing world in the year of the first Derby
and contrast them with the new meth
ods In 17S0 there was the journey
down to the little Surrey town and a
coachman thought himself lucky if he
could force his way from Westminster
to Epsom in twelve or fourteen ljours
without dislodging a wheel en route
None but the richest class could afford
to drive there at all for those were
days when tradesmen thought like
John Gilpin an outing once in two
years as much as they could afford
In those days too a visit to Epsom
meant making a week of it Lodgings
had to be taken in the town by those
who were not fortunate enough to be
invited to share the hospitality of some
local magnate Racing began about 11
a m and after witnessing one or two
heats the company would retire to the
town to dine returning later to witness
the conclusion of the sport
Nowadays the man of fashion for the
most part elects to travel to and fro
by rail ne gets his Derby as it were
while he waits It is quite possible for
him to prrtake of an earty luncheon in
Pall Mall witness the great race with
out acquiring a wrinkle in his collar or
disturbing the nap of his box hat and
land back at his club in time for f
oclock tea and the special editions of
the evening papers The Classic Eng
lish Derby by Edward Spencer in
Outing
Baked Milk
When offering food and drink to the
invalid one should avoid things very
sweet and very sour as they are often
very hurtful to weak stomachs Most
sick people can take milk but in many
cases it is not well to give it raw
Baked milk is good and may be taken
fearlessly into the most delicate stom
ach To prepare this properly put two
quarts of fresh sweet milk in a jar
covered with white writing paper
tightly tied down and bake it in an
oven moderately hot until thick as
cream which will take about eight
ten hours A less quantity will not
quire so long St Louis Republic
Iler Sinfjinic Pose
Crossing on an ocean liner recently
was a woman who sang whenever she
was asked but she imposed conditions
You were not to mind her attitude
She sang with her hands clasped be
hind her neck her elbows akimbo on a
line with her pompadour the eyes fixed
on the smokestack if she could have
seen up through the promenade deck
She said it was her method Other wo
men suggested that the only method
about it was her idea that she looked
pretty that way She sang in this atti
tude at the ships concert New York
Press
A Qnestlon of Desrec
Suave Young Shopwalker May I in
quire madam for whom you wish to
adopt mourning
Lady It is my brother-in-law who is
dead
Shopwalker Certainly madam This
way to the mitigated grief department
if you please Thank you London
King
Expensive
Ive quit joking my wife aboutjwo
men carrying their pocket handker
chiefs in their pocketbookaWgald
Tenspot It didnt payjr
How was that asJcaAiHantpr
She said shed
if she had it H
the spot De
Cultivate
you wiij
JOU
Globe J
HHP9a3
y In hers
erot10on
iPraacr
rjfyB etoIderi -
ItfeeoBrfseari
t fere Atchison
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