Ended.
It was whispered In Washington that
as the Montague Browns were not
as rich as other members of the smart
set they had to practice economy
wlurrc It did not show. But tonight
there was certainly no hint of econo
my anywhere. There were strawber
ries , hothouse grown , and terrapin and
cauvasback duck , though both were
axorbitant In the market. The hand-
fiome tablecloth had been ruthlessly
cut , and through the opening a cluster
of American Beauty roses , their stems
on the floor , shot up two feet above
the table. It was the most effective
table decoration of the winter.
Mrs. Montague Brown , young , pret
ty and ambitious , smiled a smile of
rare pleasure. She reflected compla
cently that she had captured a cabinet
ofllcer for this dinner. The conversa
tion was bowling along smoothly , and
she leaned forward to listen. The
guest of honor was speaking :
"And still I Insist that no woman
can do society all the time without
neglecting her household and children. "
"Not at all , " smiled Mrs. Montague.
"I think I can persuade you to the
contrary If you" She paused , observ
ing that he was staring with wide
open eyes at the doorway. A tiny ,
half clad figure stood there.
"Mamma , Mary's In the kitchen , and
I tan't flnd my nighty , " piped Mon
tague Brown , Jr. Harper's Magazine.
Too Extravagant by Half.
The manner In which one defaulting
cashier was detected was rather pecul
iar. It was all due to the curiosity of
the women of his neighborhood. He
went to no expense In the way of dressIng -
Ing , they never heard of his gambling
or drinking to any extent , he was a
model husband , but he loved a good
table. There was nothing unusual In
this , but one day when the ladies of
the vicinity were discussing the best
method of cooking meats the wife of
the cashier declared very innocently
tha\her husband doted on ham , but he
would not eat it unless It had been
boiled in champagne. "Boiled In cham
pagne ! " exclaimed the listeners. "Heav
ens , how expensive ! We couldn't af
ford to have ham on our table often If
we cooked It that way. "
It was soon noised all around the
neighborhood that Cashier Blank was
a high liver indeed , and the men began
telling of his uplifted Ideas of cookery.
This soon reached the ears of the di
rectors of the bank , and they conclud
ed It might be wise to investigate the
accounts of such an epicure. Plain
water was all they could affo for
their hams , so tlie champagne lover
was called up and subsequently rele
gated to the pen , where he had to fore
go his pet dish for many , many weary
days. Louisville Times.
A Lone : Separation.
"Home again at last , darling. "
"John , dearest , you don't look a day
older. "
"I must. Centuries can't roll over a
man's head without leaving traces. "
"It was ages and ages , wasn't it ?
And , oh. John , how lonesome I have
been ! "
"You poor little wifey ! If ever I
have to go away again , you shall go
with me. But you're more beautiful
than ever , sweet one. What have you
been doing with yourself all the time
I was away ? "
"Thinking of you , darling , and long
ing and longing for you to come home. "
"If that is the secret of beauty , I
ought to have grown a perfect Adonis.
And you're sure you recognized me
straight off without thinking at least
a minute ? "
"Of course , you old dear. Do you
suppose I could ever forget you ? "
"Good gracious ! It doesn't seem pos
sible that I've been away only since
the day before yesterday , does it ,
sweetheart ? "
"Not a bit more , husband mine , than
that we have actually been married a
whole month tomorrow. " Pearson's
Weekly.
Scotch Medicine.
A stranger came to a provincial
Scotch town one day. He looked some
what of an invalid , and he asked one
of the inhabitants to direct him to the
chemist's shop.
"The what , sir ? "
"The chemist's shop. "
"Aye , an what kin' o' shop's that
na ? "
"Why , the place where you can buy
medicine. "
"Eh , sir. we've nae sic shop as that
here , "
"No ? What do you do , then , when
any one falls 111 ? Do you take no medi
cine ? "
"Deed , no ; not a drap. We've just
whisky for the folk an tar for the
sheep , an that's a' the fessick we deal
in. " London Answers.
It "Was Strictly Modern.
"She has received a strictly up to
date education , you say ? "
"Well , rather. She hasn't a bit of
practical knowledge about household
affairs , but she has more theories than
you could get in a book , and she can
talk about parliamentary law In a way
that will make her shine in any wo
man's club you can pick out. " Chicago
Post.
His College Days.
"Mike. " said Plodding Pete , "do you
t'ink it does a man much good to go
tree college ? "
"Not much. " replied Meandering
Mike. "I went tree a college once ,
nn all 1 got was two dictioneries an a
suit of football clothes. De swag wasn't
wort' de risk. " Washington Star.
X ,
t
It has been found that a dozen Portu
guese oysters contain about six grains
of phosphoric acid. French oysters
have about four grains per dozen.
It is human nature to deride what we
cannot possess , to deny what we can
not understand and to Insult those we
pnvv. Chicago News.
AN EASY GOING BEAR.
PhotoBrmphtnur n Blur GrUrly IB tfc
YclloTV tone Park. |
I said to my cowboy friend , "Do you
know this bear ? "
lie replied : "Waal , I reckon I do.
That's the old grizzly. He's the big
gest b'ar In the park. He generally
minds his own business , but he ain't
scared o * nothln. an today , you S'3e , he's
becu scrappin. so he's liable to be
ugly. "
"I would like to take his picture , "
said I , "and if you will help me I am
willing to take some chances on It. "
"All right , " said he , with a grin.
" ' the horse if he
"I'll stand by on , nn
charges you I'll charge him , an I kin
knock him down once , but I can't do
It twice. You better have your tree
picked out. "
The grizzly came on , and I snapped
him at 40 yards , then again at 20
yards , and still he came quietly to
ward me. I sat down on the garbage
and made ready 18 yards 16 yards
12 yards 8 yards , and still he came ,
while the pitch of Johnny's protests
kept rising proportionately. Finally
at five yards he stopped and swung
his huge bearded head to one side to
see what was making that aggravat
ing row in the tree top , giving me a
profile view , and I snapped the camera.
At the click he turned on me with a
thunderous g-r-o-w-1 , and I sat still
and trembling , wondering if my last
moment had come. For a second he
glared at me , and I could note the lit
tle green electric lamp In each of his
eyes. Then he slowly turned and pick
ed up a large tomato can.
"Goodness. " I thought , "is he going
to throw that nt me ? " But he delib
erately licked it out , dropped it and
took another , paying thenceforth no
heed whatever either to me or to John
ny , evidently considering us equally
beneath his notice. E. Seton-Thomp-
son In Scribner's.
TOOK CENTURIES TO BUILD.
Cologne Cathedral Was In Process of
Erection GIIU Years.
While the first stone of Cologne ca
thedral was laid on Aug. 15. 1248 , and
the body of the edifice was not opened
until Aug. 15 , 1848 , GOO years later to
the very day , it was not , however , un
til Aug.15. . 1880 , that the splendid
structure wa finally reported complet
ed , having thus occupied in building
the record time of exactly G32 years.
The castle of Kiugsgoberg , which
stands at the southern extremity of
Jutland , took 204 years from the laying
of the foundation stone to the rigging
of its master's banner on its highest
flagstaff. Its foundation stone was the
skull of ifs'builder's bitterest enemy.
Three mouths after Its laying Count
Jhorsiug , the builder of the castle , was
killed. His sou was then in swaddling
clothes. He did not continue his fa
ther's work until aged 24.
On his twenty-fifth birthday he was
thrown into prison by the son of the
man whose skull lay In the earth of
Kingsgobcrg's foundation stone. In
this manner master after master of
Kingsgoberg was stopped putting an
other stone toward the completion of
the founder's work till civilization in
tervened.
Restormel castle , in Cornwall , took
90 years to build , of which period ex
actly one-third was occupied in exca
vating the foundations. The solid rock
upon which It stands is almost as hard
as iron. Indeed Restormel means in
Cornish "the palace of the iron rock. "
Milan cathedral was begun In 13SG
and finished under Napoleon in ISOo.
419 years.
The Duomo , at Florence , was com
menced by Arnulfo in the year 1294 ,
the last block of marble being placed
in position in the facade in presence of
the king on May 12 , 1887 , a period of
593 years. Stray Stories.
Kent and Barr.
James Kent , whose famous "Com
mentaries on American Law" Is class
ed with Blackstone as the greatest
textbook on law , was a great admirer
of Alexander Hamilton , and when the
great Federalist was killed by Aaron
Burr in a duel he became the implaca
ble enemy of the latter. One day long
afterward when In New York the
judge saw Burr on the opposite side
of Nassau street He went across the
street as fast as his years would per
mit and , brandishing his cane In Burr's
face , shouted :
"You're a scoundrel , sir , a scoundrel ,
a scoundrel ! "
Burr proved equal to the emergency.
He raised his hat and bowed to the
ground and then said in his calmest
professional tone , "The opinions of the
learned chancellor are always entitled
to the highest consideration. " Argo
naut.
Working the Head of the Family.
It's a wise boy who knows how to
work his father , and In this precious age
most boys are wise. Louis' father works
in Omaha , but Louis himself lives With
his grandma in western Nebraska.
Like most boys do. Louis writes to his
fond father only when he wants money
or something new in wearing apparel.
Last week he wrote , enumerating a
number of articles he needed. Among
other things he wrote :
"Please send me some stockings. You
better send bicycle stockings because
they last longer than the other kind.
Are you going to send me a bicycle on
my birthday to wear with my bicycle
stockingsV'-rOmaha World-Herald.
The Obstacle.
Oldharame Young man. have an
ideal. Have an ideal , I say , and hug it
to your bosom at all times and places.
Youngdogge She won't let me. Har
per's Bazar.
The Better Man.
A safe man is often better for the
long pull than the brilliant man. The
latter flashes and is gone , while the
other stands by you.
Told at the Club.
i'lt's this way. " said T. Willie Rock-
"Brown-Jones asks down
Ingham j , - me
from j Saturday to Monday. Want to
go { and I go. Haven't seen B.-.I. for
months ; not since he got married to
money. Poor old chap. " T. Willie
sighed and took another observation In
his glass.
"Find B.-J. looking well. Seems a
bit nervous , though. You know his
Hot-Id style. Scatters your w'.ts and
keeps you from thinking. Mrs. B.-J.
well , I can't help seeing she bites her
lips a lot. Squally sign. Thinks I ,
T. Willie , little old'New York is good
enough for you. You were in a better
place then * . Nothing happens though
not yet and I begin to forget. Nice
country place. Dinner , billiards and
the downy. Then it's Sunda3\ Morn
ing goes. Afternoon comes. B.-J.
sends for the horses. Begins to crack
on ( a bit as we stand in the window
watching the brutes come up the drive.
Been talking quite tall all day about
'his place' and 'his plans. ' Mrs. B.-J.
biting her lips all the time. Now he
lets on about 'his' quadrupeds. Trans
parent bluff. What do 1 care ? I like
to sec a man happy. B.-J. prattling
along. Mrs. B.-J. bites her lips some
more. Out we go to the vehicle. 'Like
to let you drive , old man. ' says mine
host. 'Know you're Al with the ribbons
bens , but I always think my horses
like my hand best. ' Storm breaks.
" 'My horses ! ' says my- lady , scream
ing out the first word.
"B.-J. turns pale. Then he straight
ens up.
" 'Yes. your horses. ' he says. 'You
own them. You own this place and
all that goes with it. You own me.
Will you assist Mrs. Brown-Jones.
Willie ? ' "
T. Willie Rockingham shuddered.
"Marry money ? " he gulped out "Ex
cuse me. I'd rather work. " New York
Sun.
A Surgical Operation.
The Army and Navy Journal tells
this story about the late Dr. Lewis A.
Sayre of New York city :
"When a young medical student at
the College of Physicians and Surgeons
in New York , one'of the operating phy
sicians was about to cut off an Irish
man's leg , but before beginning the op
eration gave a long talk to the students
on amputation. The Irishman lay on
the operating table in full possession
of his faculties , and as he listened to
the discourse he grew whiter and whit
er. Finally he jumped from the oper
ating table , crying : 'Get me me breech
es , be gob ! I'll die with me leg on ! '
And with that he was out of the room.
"Dr. Sayre found him several days
later with his knee badly swollen. The
young doctor promptly cut open the
knee , but saved the leg. One day he
had no lint to bind the wound , so he
used the tow stuffing sticking out of an
old horsehair sofa. When he called
again , he found the wound so much im
proved that he reasoned that tow dip
ped in Peruvian balsam would not only
disinfect a wound , but would keep it
free from pus.
"This was the foundation of one of
the most satisfactory successes he ever
had in surgery. It was the means of
introducing into the army the use of
tarred hemp , or oakum , as a dressing
for wounds. "
Our Race For Money.
"If It is not true that we Americans
regard money making as the work for
which life was given to us , why , when
we have millions , do we go on strug
gling to make more millions and more ? "
writes "An American Mother" in The
Ladies' Home Journal. "It is not so
with the older races. The London
tradesman at middle age shuts his
shop , buys an acre in the suburbs and
lives on u small income or spends the
rest of his life in losing it in poultry
or fancy gardening. The German or
Frenchman seldom works when past
GO. He gives his last years to some
study or hobby music , a microscope ,
or it may be dorainos. You meet him
and his wife , jolly , shrewd , intelligent ,
jogging all over Europe. Baedeker in
hand. They tell you they 'have a cu
riosity to see this fine world before
they go out of it. ' "
A Blessing.
Dr. Conan Doyle tells this story of a
Boer and an English soldier who lay
wounded side by side on the field of
battle : "They had a personal encoun
ter , in which the soldier received a bul
let wound and the burgher a bayonet
thrust before they both fell exhausted
on the field. The Britisher gave the
Boer a drink out of his flask , and the
burgher , not to be outdone in courtesy ,
handed a piece of biltong in exchange.
In the evening , when their respective
ambulances came to carry them off to
the hospital , they exchanged friendly
greetings. 'Goodby. mate , ' said the
soldier. 'What a blessing It is we met
each other ! * "
A Fetching Compliment.
She was not from Chicago.
"Do not anger me. " she said.
"How am I to know when you are
angry ? " he asked.
"I always stamp my feet , " she an
swered.
He looked down at her dainty shoes.
"Impossible. " he said. "There isn't
room for a stamp on either of them. "
That fetched her. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Pat's Retort.
An Irishman passing a store In Lon
don saw nothing inside but a man at
ft table. The thing struck him as being
very odd. so hi- went in and inquired
what was sold there. "Asses' heads. "
said the man at the table. "They must
be in great demand. " said Pat , "for I
see you have only your own left. "
A Drawback to Amity.
Judge Well. Mrs. Jopps. what fault
have you to find with your husband ?
Mrs.Jopps Now. jedjre. it's this way :
He's awful good an kind , but he's so
unfinanshul. Detroit Free Press.
Thin
is all right , if you are too fat ;
and all wrong , if too thin already.
Fat , enough for your habit , is
healthy ; a little more , or less , is
10 great harm. Too fat , consult
ii doctor ; too thin , persistently
chin , no matter what cause , take
Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver
Oil.
There are many causes of get-
ling too thin ; they all come
under these two heads : over
work and under-digestion.
Stop over-work , if you can :
"iut , whether you can or not ,
take Scott's Emulsion of Cod
Liver Oil , to balance yourself
v/ith your work. You can't liven
-n it true but , by it , you
- There's limit however
-an a , ;
y : u'll pay for it.
Scott s Emulsion of Cod Liver
011 is the readiest cure for
' -can't eat , " unless itcoir-CL cf
your doing no work you can't
Jong be well and strong , without
some sort of activity.
The genuine has
this picture on it ,
take no other.
If you have not
tried it , send for
free sample , its agreeable -
greeable taste will
surprise you.
SCOTT & BOWME
Chemists ,
4O9 Pearl Street ,
New York.
5Oc. and $ l.OOaII druggists
A Few Testimonials.
A D Weir , who is in McCook in the
interest of the "Self ami Sex Series" of
books has received some very hearty
commendations for the books for boys
and girls and men and women from some
of our best citizens , among them being
our doctors and ministers , J. F Forbes ,
Geo. E. Thompson , Mrs. Traver and
Mrs. Dr. Welles Dr. Gnje sins : "The
boy's welfare demands that he should
know things contained in this book. "
Geo. Thompson says : "I hope the
books will find a place in every home
in McCook. They may be received with
absolute confidence as the best instruc
tions obtainable. " Mrs. Dr. Welles says :
'They are books that mothers and
daughters ought io own. " Mr. Weir
will call at the different houses in a few
days and our citizens will do well to look
over the books.
$500 For Letters/About'Nebraska.
The Burlington Route offers twenty
prizes , aggregating $500 , for letters
which can be used in encouraging immi
gration to Nebraska.
The first prize is a round-trip ticket
from any Burlington Route station in
Nebraska to Yellowstone park , and a
complete trip through the park , includ
ing stage transportation and five and a
half days' accommodation at the hotels
of the Yellowstone Park association
value $100.
The second prize is a ticket to Denver ,
thence to the Black Hills , and $25 in
cash value $75.
Particulars can be obtained by address
ing J. Francis , G. P. A , , Burlington
Route , Omaha , Neb. r-4-gts.
Advertised Letters.
The following letters were advertised
by the McCook post-office , Jan. 13 , 1901 :
C. R. Darwin , D. L. Dunn ,
Mary Durhem , T. C. Ellis ,
Ransom Gordon Wm. Halterman ,
Laura Huffman , Grace Redtfeldt ,
Mary Rogers , Edd Russell ,
W. D Trinque.
In calling for any of these letters , please
say that they are advertised.
F. M. KIMMELI , , Postmaster.
McCook Markets.
Corrected Friday morning.
Corn J .35
Wheat 58
Oats . . .40
Rye. . . 33
Hogs. . 4 60
Eggs. I ?
Butter ' 5
5O YEARS'
EXPERIENCE
TRADE MARKS
DESIGNS
COPYRIGHTS &c.
sent free. Oldest aeency for securing patents.
Patents taken thronch Slunn & Co. receive
tpeeial notice , without charge. In the
Scientific American.
A handsomely illustrated weekly. Jjircest cir
culation of any scientlflc Journal. Terms. J3 a
year ; four months , $1. Sold by all newsdMlers.
MUNN&Co.361Broadwaif'New York
Branch Office. G25 F SU Washlncton , D. C.
*
© f Winter
We are offering new up-to-date
goods at a SACRIFICE PRICE now
when you need them. Ladies'
Jackets at one-half regular price
marked in pJain figures and cheap
at the old price. We will give
you a B
10,00 Garment
.00 Etc ,
Come quick before the assortment
is broken. Ladies' Waist Dress
Goods , Underwear , Overcoats , j
and Clothing all go at REDUCED 4
PRICES. <
Favor us with your Grocery Orders.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
THE . . . .
C. L. DeGROFF & GO.
n
t
OOP
Authorized Capital , $100,000.
Capital and Surplus , $60,000
GEO. HOCKNELL , President. B. M. FREES , V. Pres.
W. F. LAV/SON , Cashier. F. A. P EH NELL , Ass'1 Cash.
A. CAMPBELL , Director. FRAHK HARRIS , Director.
Brave Men Fall
Victims to stomach , liver and kidney troub
les as well as women , and all feel the results
in loss cf appetite , poisons in the blood , back
ache , nervousness , headache and tired , list
less , run-down feeling. But tWere's no need
to feel like that. J.W.Gardner of Idaville ,
Ind. , says : "Electric Bitters are just the thing
for a man when he don't care whether he
lives or dies. It gave me new strength and
good appetite. 1 can now eat anything and
have a new lease on life. " Only 50 cents , at
McConnell & Berry's drug store. Every bottle
guaranteed.
DON'T BE FOOLEDI
Take the genuine , original
ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA
Made only by Madison Medi
cine Co. , Madison , Wis. It
keeps you well. Our trade
mark cut on each package.
Price , 35 cents. Never sold
in bulk. Accept no substl-
tute. Ask .
INco po.iATiDiai your druggist.
Beat Out of an Increase oTHts Pension.
A Mexican war veteran and prominent
editor writes : "Seeing the advertisement of
Chamberlain's Colic. Cholera and Diarrhoea-
Remedy , I am reminded that as a soldier in
Mexico in ' 47 and ' 48,1 contracted Mexican
diarrhoea and this remedy has kept me from
getting an increase in my pension for on
every renewal a dose ot it restores me. " It is
unequalled as a quick cure for diarrhoea and
is pleasant and safe to take. For sale by
McConnell & Berrv.
The thing upon which people knock the
hardest they say the least about ; the visit of
the stork.
Paid Dear for His
B. D. Blanton of Thackerville , Tex. , in two
years paid over 300 to doctors to cure a run
ning sore on his leg. Then they wanted to
cut it off , but he cured it with one tf.x of
Bucklen' Aimra : fle. . Guaranteed cure
for piles. 25 cts. a box. bold by McConne'l
&Berry , druggists.
PATENTS GUARANTEED
Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending sketch and description of
any invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning the patent
ability of same. "How to obtain a patent" sent upon request. Patents
secured through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special notice- , without charge , in
THE PATENT RECORD , an illustrated and widely circulated journal , consulted
by Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address ,
VICTOR J. EVANS & GQ.y
( Patent Attorneys , )
Evans Building , WASHINGTON , B. G.
