The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, November 23, 1900, Image 5

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    w Getting
Thin
is all right , if you are too fat ;
and all wrong , if too thin already.
Fat , enough for your habit , is
healthy ; a little more , or less , is
no great harm. Too fat , consult
a doctor ; too thin , persistently
thir. , no matter what cause , take
Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver
Oil.
There are many causes of get
ting too thin ; they all come
under these two heads : over
work and under-digestion.
Stop over-work , if you can ;
but , whether you can or not ,
take Scott's Emulsion of Cod
Liver Oil , to balance yourself
with your work. You can't live
on it true but , by it , you
can There's a limit , however ;
yc u'll pay for it.
Scott s Emulsion of Cod Liver
Oil is the readiest cure for
"can't eat , " unless it comes of
your doing no work you can't
long be well and strong , without
some sort of activity.
The genuine has
this picture on it ,
take no other.
If you have not
tried it , send for
Free sasnpSe , its agreeable -
greeablo taste will
surprise you.
SCOTT & BOWNE
Chemists ,
4O9 Pearl Street ,
New York.
5Oc. and $1.OO ; all druggists.
To California in a Tourist Sleeper.
Iu no other way can you go to Cali
fornia so quickly , so comfortably , and
yet so economically , as in a tourist sleep
ing car.
The tourist cars used for the Burling
ton overland excursions are models of
comfort and convenience. They have
wide vestibules , high back seats and
double windows. They are lighted by
gas. The heating arrangements are ad
mirable and the bed furnishings are
clean and of good quality.
The Burlington excursions leave
Omaha every Tuesday and Thursday and
go through to San Francisco and Los
Angeles without changes or delays of
any kind. You can join them at Lin
coln , Hastings , Oxford , or any other
station at which the train stops. The
route is through Denver and Salt Lake
City , past the finest scenery visible from
car windows anywhere on the globe.
An experienced excursion manager is in
charge of each excursion party and a
uniformed porter accompanies each car.
Folder giving full information mailed
on request. Beautifully illustrated 72-
page book about California sent on re
ceipt of six cents in stamps.
J. FRANCIS , G. P. A. ,
lo-26-nts. Omaha , Neb.
IWcCook Markets.
Corrected Friday morning.
Corn $ .35
Wheat 58
Oats 40
Rye 33
Hogs 4 25
Eggs 20
Butter 15
New Potatoes 65
Butter fat at Creamery 17
No woman can be too careful of
her condition during the period be
fore her little ones are born. Neglector
then endangers
or improper treatment
gers her life and that of the child. It
lies with her whether she shall suffer
unnecessarily , or whether the ordeal
shall be made comparatively easy.
She had better do nothing than do
something wrong.
"i
is the one and the only preparation
that is safe to use. It is a liniment
that penetrates from the outside.
External applications are eternally
right. Internal medicines are radi
cally wrong. They are more than
humbugs they endanger life.
Mother's Friend helps the muscles
to relax and expand naturally re
lieves morning sickness removes
the cause of nervousness and head
ache prevents hard and rising
breasts shortens labor and lessens
the pains and helps the patient to
rapid recovery.
From a letter by a Shreveport , La. ,
woman : "I have been using your
wonderful remedy. Mother's Friend ,
for the last two months , and find it
just as recommended. "
Druggists sell It at SI per bottle.
THE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO.
ATLANTA , OA.
Send for our free illustrated book ,
"Before Baby is Born. "
'BEAUTY.
4
Beauty was born of the world's desire
For the wandering water , the wandering flre ;
Under the arch of her hurrying feet
Blic has trodden a world full of bittersweet.
Tlie blood of the violet is in her veins ;
Her pulse hag the passion of April rainu.
Out of ( ho heart of a eatin llower
God tnade her eyelids in one sweet heur.
Out of the wind he made her feet
That they might be lovely and luring and fleet ;
Out of a cloud he wove her hair
Heavy and black with the rain held there.
What Is her name ? There's none that knowit
Mother of Mischief or Mouth of Hose.
What is her pathway ? None may tell.
But It climbs to hem en , and it dips to hell.
The garment on her is mist and fire ,
Anger and sorrow and heart's desire.
Her forehead jewel's an amethyst ;
The garland to her is love in a mist.
Her girdle is of the beryl stone ,
And one drk rose for iier flower has grown ,
Filled to the brim with the strength of the sun ,
A passionate rose , and only one.
Tlie bird in her breast sings all day long
A wonderful , wistful , whispering song ;
The song that is of all passing tilings ,
None knows it wingless or born with wings.
Nora Hopper.
WEARING EYEGLASSES.
The Knack of Balancing Them Prop
erly on the A'one.
A young man who had purchased a
pair of eyeglasses at n local optician's
the other day was complaining to the
clerk that lie couldn't keep them on.
"They are continually falling off , " he
said , "and are really getting to be a
first class nuisance. Don't you think it
would help things if j'ou tightened up
the spring a littleV"
"No. I wouldn't advise you to alter
the spring , " replied the clerk. "It's so
tight now that it is scarring your nose.
If you'll only be patient for a few-
days , I think you'll learn to wear these
glasses all right. Come in at the end
of the week , and if you are still having
trouble with them I'll fit you out with
a pair of spectacles. "
"What do you mean by 'learning to
wear * those eyeglasses ? " asked a man
who happened to be standing within
earshot after the customer had walked
out. "Is it a trick that has to be ac
quired by practice ? "
"Certainly it is , " replied the clerk.
"Wearing eyeglasses is something that
has to be learned , just like riding a bi
cycle in fact , the comparison is pretty
good , because both are simply feats of
balancing. The shape of the nose has
very little to do with it , " continued the
clerk , "and isn't worth taking into con
sideration in selecting a pair of glass
es. But if a man has a nose like the
prow of an armored cruiser he couldn't
make eyeglasses stay there at first at
tempt. Until he acquired the knack of
keeping them in place by balance they
would be falling off every time he
made a sudden movement , no matter
how tightly he screwed up the spring.
Once the trick is mastered , however ,
there is no further trouble. People
who wear eyeglasses habitually and
who may be regarded as experts keep
the spring very loose. The glasses rest
on the bridge of the nose as lightly as
a feather , but they never come off. I
once saw a nearsighted man fall down
two flights of stairs and get upwith
his glasses still firmly in place. How
is it done ? Dear me , I don't know !
How do people learn to walk the tight
rope ? " New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Ills Free Library.
A Main street secondhand book
store was the scene of an amusing lit
tle comedy the other day. A ragged
urchin , who had crept in unnoticed ,
pulled a dog eared book with a gilded
title of love and adventure from the
rack and , after fingering it for a mo
ment , became immediately absorbed in
the thrilling tale.
When the bookseller caught sight of
his impecunious visitor , his first im
pulse was to chase the boy away. On
second thought , however , he left the
youthful reader to his pleasure. At
length the time for closing came
around , and the old man set about
bolting the shutters.
The noise awoke the urchin from his
dream. lie lingeringly closed the book
and , sidling up to the proprietor , asked
with all the assurance of his gutter
training , "Say , mister , what time d'yer
open termorrer ? " Hartford Telegram.
Trouble Ahead.
Married Man And you are engaged
to Miss Blankie ?
Young Friend Yes. I watched her
a whole day on the railroad train and
became so interested in her that I fol
lowed her up , got an introduction , and
now we are to be married.
Married Man Was she traveling
alone ?
Young Friend No. She was with
her mother , and her kindness to her
mother is what captured me.
Married Man But , gee willikins ,
old man , she'll go on being kind to her
mother. New York Weekly.
Xo Use.
Catterson Look here , old man ! Let
me tell you how I manage my wife. I
always give her money when she does
not want it , and when she does I refer
to the time when I offered it to her.
Hatterson That's a fine scheme , but
it wouldn't work in my case.
"Why not ? "
"Well , I've never yet seen the time
when my wife didn't want money. "
Harper's Bazar.
The Retort Proper.
The Collector Here it is Tuesday ,
and you haven't paid a cent on that
watch. You promised to have the
money for me Saturday.
The Young Man Well , it is only Fri
day by the watch. It is that much
slow. Indianapolis Press.
Difficult Color Scheme.
"The baby has his father's nose ,
don't you think ? "
"Nonsense ! Nature could no more
reproduce that nose than she could re
produce a Turner sunset" Detroit
Journal.
Genera ! Co * Quelled a Mutiny.
General Cox was a good disciplina
rian , but he never blustered and wan
never severe. On one occasion several
ofllccrs called at his headquarters and
stated to him that they would not
promise to march their men up the nar
row river valley. He sent them to their
quarters and said nothing of tbeir im
pertinence until after the war.
While iu camp at Gauley bridge his
quartermaster general shot a private
in the Second Kentucky. The men of
the regiment escaped the control of the
oflicers and made a rush to kill the
quartermaster , who had been taken to
Cox's headquarters. Cox saw the men
coming , but instead of ordering the
guards to lire on them he ran toward
them alone , bareheaded and unarmed.
He reached a gap In a stone wall ahead
of the 500 or COO furious armed men
and stopped them. He explained that
they might kill him , but they could not
pass.
Straightening to his full height , he
said , "Your general , unarmed , as you
see , orders you to remember that you
are soldiers and obey. " Much to the
surprise of the score of anxious oflicers
watching the parley , the men returned
to their camp. Cox sent for a company
from another regiment , which guarded
the prisoner to the lower camp. No
charge of mutiny ever appeared against
that regiment , which afterward , under
Nelson and Palmer , made a splendid
reputation for drill , discipline and hard
fighting. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Strntefry In a Street Car.
"In the matter of strategy a woman
can get the better of a man every time
in minor affairs , at least , " said a man
who is in business down town and who
rides home in a West Philadelphia car
during the rush hour every evening.
"I usually get a seat , for I take the car
away down at Fourth street. The
other evening I was busily reading my
paper when a woman got aboard at
Twelfth street. I glanced up slyly and
saw that all the seats were occupied.
Hasty as my glance was , she caught
my 070 , and that was my finish. Smil
ing broadly , she came over to where I
was sitting and exclaimed : 'Why , how
do you do ? HOAV are all the folks ? '
" 1 couldn't place the woman to save
my life , but I lifted my hat and re
plied that we were all well. 'She must
be some friend of the family , ' I argued
with myself , so I folded up my paper
and gave her my seat. After she had
settled herself comfortably she looked
up at me iu a queer sort of way and
said : 'Really , I must beg your pardon.
I took you for Mr. Jones. You look so
much like him. '
"But she had the seat , and she kept
it. It was a clear case of bunko. "
Philadelphia Record.
He Knew the Spot.
An amusing anecdote is related of
General Sherman , who , as command
ing general of the army , visited West
Point one June for the graduation ex
ercises. He accompanied the com
mandant on his Sunday morning tour
of inspection of barracks , and on enter
ing a certain room he walked over to
the mantelpiece. Stooping down , he
pried up a brick from the middle of the
hearth with his sword scabbard and re
vealed a hollow space about a foot
square , in which was nicely packed a
considerable quantity of tobacco and
other contraband articles. Meanwhile
the cadets occupying the room stood
by mutely watching and wondering
what sort of man the general was to
have been able to discover the only
"cellar" of its kind in barracks. Turn
ing to the commandant , the general re
marked :
"I have been wondering if that hole
was still there. I made it when I was
a cadet and lived in this room. " New
York Tribune.
Idiocy In Numbers.
The Contributor The 2thake may be
perfectly cured without pain.
The Editor We Ider if the specific
is hard 2 take. If not , we will try it
4thwith.
Subeditor If cured , it will be a Ider
Indeed !
Assistant Sub lOderly , gentlemen ,
'tis a sore subject
Deputy Assistant Sub Yes , and re
quiring 40tude 2 bear.
Correspondence Editor This is car
rying the matter as far as SOquette
will bear.
Office Boy Those who are so 4-2n-S
as to do the above will find each para
graph 2 contain a slight 11 of humor.
Printer's Devil 5-4 shame , gentle
men 5-4 shame ! Pearson's.
He Ousht to Marry.
Miss Antique You ought to get mar
ried , Mr. Oldchapp.
Mr. Oldchapp ( earnestly ) I have
wished many times lately that I had a
wife.
Miss Antique ( delighted ) Have you ,
really ?
Mr. Oldchapp Yes. If I had a wife ,
she'd probably have a sewing machine ,
and the sewing machine would have an
oil can , and I could take it and oil my
office chair. It squeaks horribly. Ex
change.
CuttJnjVatch Glasses.
In the production of common watch
glasses the glass is blown into a sphere
about a meter in diameter , sufficient
material being taken to give the desir
ed thickness , as the case may be. Disks
are then cut out from this sphere with
the aid of a pair of compasses having
a diamond at the extremity of one leg.
There is a knack in detaching the disk
after it has been cut. A good work
man will , it is said , cut G,000 glasses
! u a day.
What It Looked Like.
"Beg pardon , " said the rude young
man , gathering his features together
again , "I simply couldn't suppress that
yawn. "
"Don't mention it , " replied the bright
girl. "By the way , that reminds me.
I visted the Mammoth cave last sum-
au'iExchange. .
IVciv Yurk'n Sluvcnlilp.
When New York city owned a slave-
ship Is told In nn article In Pcurson'H
Magazine. The greatest Impetus was
given to the slave trade by the act of
parliament of 1084 , which legalized
slavery In the North American cole
nies. This does not mean tJUat slavery
was unknown In what 15 now the
United States before that time , because -
cause as early as 1020 a Dutch man-of-
war lauded and sold 20 African ne
groes at Jamestown , Va.
In 102(5 ( the West India company Im
ported slaves from the West Indies to
New York city , then New Amsterdam.
The city Itself owned shares In a slave-
ship , advanced money for Its fitting
out and shared In the profits of its
Voyages. Tills recognition and encour
agement may account for the astound
ing fact that In 17.10 slaves formed
one-sixth of the entire population of
New York. The general prevalence of
slavery is shown by the fact that at
this time there were 07 slaves In New
York's small suburb of Brooklyn , and
that In London Itself there were resi
dent 20,000 slaves.
Slaves were at that time publicly
dealt in on the London exchange. No
wonder the trallic in human flesh was
n recocnlzcd commerce , and that in
1771 the English alone sent to Africa
11)2 ships equipped for the trade and
with a carrying capacity of 47,140
slaves per trip.
A Trlclij-
Not long ago a very fat spaniel was
introduced into the house where a fox
terrier had always been the master.
The latter was told , however , to be
have well to the uewconier and not to
bully him. So the two seemed fairly
friendly and in the end got in the habit
of taking short rambles together.
However , the fox terrier was evident
ly of a thoughtful disposition and on
one occasion came across a bank , or
wall , which was easy enough to leap
off , but there was greater difficulty in
returning. The fox terrier sprang
down the bank and enticed his heavy
companion to follow , with the result
that the latter could not get back , while
the former , by reason of his greater ac
tivity , was easily able to do.
Now the terrier saw his opportunity ,
returned home and cruelly left his com
panion lamenting. Never did the for
mer seem happier or gayer than on
that day when he had once more tie
sole run of the house , and he sulked
when later on the spaniel had been
found , assisted up the wail and brought
home.
Since then the fox terrier has repeat
edly got the spaniel down the same
place , with the usual result , and seems
to glory in his mischievous act. Wheth
er the "fat dog" will learn to avoid
temptation to such a ramble remains to
be seen. Buffalo News.
Hotv "Dnvi l llnrnni" Cnme to He
Written.
An interesting little anecdote is told
about how "David Ilarum" came to be
written. It is rather pathetic. It seems
that Mr. Wescott , the author , was the
kind of man who could do pretty much
anything paint a picture , plan a house
or compose a sonata but he had never
made much money , so.when he became
ill and realized that he might not live
long and would leave his family with
little or no money he was desperate.
"Write a book , " suggested a friend
and neighbor to him one day when
they were talking over the situation.
"I did make an attempt at it once , "
answered Mr. Wescott. "I tried a love
story , but I couldn't make it go. "
"Add a little local color to it , " said
the first speaker. "Take one of the
people about here that you know and
work him up old , for instance , "
mentioning a character familiar to
them both. "He'd be first rate. "
"That's a good idea ! " exclaimed Mr.
Wescott , and the result of this conver
sation was "David Harum , " and yet
"David" was never in the story at all
as it was first conceived. Anna Wentworth -
worth in Woman's Home Companion.
Belaying1 Ilia Jaws.
Shark stories , with some reason , are
commonly received with incredulity. A
well authenticated anecdote , however ,
is told of Dr. Frederic Hill , an English
surgeon of distinction.
A man fell overboard in the Indian
ocean and almost into a shark's mouth.
Hill , who was standing close to the
rail , grabbed a belaying pin and with
out hesitation jumped to save the
sailor.
The great brute was just turning on
his back to bite , when Ilill drove the
belaying pin right through both jaws.
Both men were got on board again un
harmed.
"Perhaps that fellow won't want an
other toothpick. Has any one got a
clean shirt to lend ? This was my last , "
were the only words of the rescuer.
Tlie Oyster.
The oyster is as fixed and sedentary
as the potato , and its cultivation is
just as easy. In Europe its propaga
tion has been reduced to a scientific
basis , but in this country only a be
ginning has been made.
An oyster is ready for market in
about five years. The bivalves have
so much to contend with that perhaps
only one in 2,000,000 lives to grow up
and be eaten by human beings. Chicago
cage Times-Herald.
Xot to Be Encouraged.
"What do you think of a man who
regularly carries his business home
with him ? "
"Well , that depends. Now , if a man's
business is to sell liquor , for instance ,
it isn't just the thing for him to take a
great deal of it home with him every
night. " Boston Transcript.
Xo Reciprocity.
"Annie Nibbins is the meanest kind
of a gossip. "
"What variety is that ? "
"She's the kind that doesn't tell any
thing herself , but gets you to tell all
you know. " Chicago Record.
'V / VfcV *
r
BUY YOUll. . . .
Illl III !
At DeGROFF & GO ,
HEADQUARTERS FOR
Ladies' Wraps , Men's & Boys3
Capes & Jackets , Clothing ,
Suits , Waists , Blankets ,
Rainy-Day Unde2 > wear ,
Skirts , Furs. Sn o es , 0 versh o es.
Large Line of Neckwear and Fine Shirts
GROCERIES.
The assortment in Every Department is
larger and better than we have ever
been able to show , and YOU KNOW
our prices are RIGHT.
See Our Stock of Carpets and Rugs.
THE . . . .
te" .
inters *
C. L. DeGROFF & CO.
O ' fc/fe'fe'
fcfe'fe'W
W < KV
<
OOP
Authorized Capital , $100,000.
Capital and Surplus , $60,000
GEO. HOCKNELL , President. B. fiL FREES , V. Pros.
W. F. LAWSON , Cashier. F. A. PEN NELL , Ass't Cash.
A. CAMPBELL , Director : FRANK HARRIS , Director.
Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending sketch and description of
any invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning the patent
ability of same. "How to obtain a patent" sent upon request. Patents
secured through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special notice , without charge , m
THE PATENT RECORD , an illustrated and widely circulated journal , consulted
by Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address ,
J. EV&FiS &
( Patent Attorneys , )
Evans BulMmg - W&SHINGTQH , B , G
Thoroughbred Jersey Bull. . . .
. . . .can toe found at my farm , 1 1-2
miles south of McCook. He has no re
lations in the county. Fee $1 at
time of service.
FRED W. CARRUTH.
DON'T BE FOOLEDI
Take the genuine , original
ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA
Made only by Madison Medi
cine Co. , Madison. WIs. It
keeps you well. Our trade
mark cut on each package.
Price , 35 cents. Never sold
In bulk. Accept no aubstl-
tute. Ask your druggfet.
DeWitt's Little Early Risers are the best
liver pills ever made. Easy to take and never
gripe. McConnell & Berry * .
You little knew when first we met
That some day you would be
The lucky fellow I'd choose to let
Pay for my Rocky Mountain 1 ea.
Ask your druggist.
To be content with less is to have less di--
content.
For all fresh cuts or wounds , either on the
human subject or on animals , Ballard's
Snow Liniment is excellent ; while for corn
huskers' sprained \vrists , barbed-wire cats and
sores on working hordes it cannot be too
highly commended. I'rice 25 and 50 cents.
A. McMillen , druggist.
A very little child may open a very large
door in heaven.
Many people are suffering fearfully from
indigestion or dyspepsia , when one single
bottle of Herbine would bring about a prompt
and permanent cure. A few doses will do
more for a weak stomach than a prolonged
course of any other medicine. Price 50 cents.
A. McMillen , druggist.