Aguinaldo. the Phllllplne insurgent ,
leader. In only 27 years old. .His par
ents were very poor , but managed to
give their son a good education.
When ho joined the socialist Koti-
jmna some years ago it was resolved
to arrest him , but he shot the oflicer
Intrusted with the task and converted
the soldiers. That was the beginning
of. the revolution.
A servant girl isn a Birmingham
family was taken to task for over
sleeping herself. "Well , ma'am , " she
enld , " 1 sleep very slow , and so it
lakes me a long while to get me
night's rest. " fid-Bits.
Many persons have their good
day and their bad day. Others
are about half sick all the time.
They have headache , backache ,
and arc restless and nervous.
Food docs not taste good , and
the digestion is poor ; the skin
is dry and sallow and disfigured
with pimples or eruptions ;
sleep brings no rest and work
Is a burden.
What is the cause of all this ?
Impure blood.
Ana the remedy ?
It clears out the channels
through which poisons are
carried from the body. When
all impurities are removed from
the blood nature takes right hold
and completes the cure.
If there is constipation , take
Ayer's Pills. They awaken the
drowsy action of the liver ; they
cure biliousness.
Write ( o our DostCF *
We hvc ilio exclusive service * ot
aonio of the roost eminent physician * In
the United Cwtef. "Write freely all the
particulars In jour casr. You re
ceive o prompt reply. Trlthtmi rot.
Address. DR. J. C. AYER.
Lowell , Mass.
Dr. Parker , rat eminent English
physician , advises sufferers from neu
ralgia not to drink tea , but to partake
freely of coffee into which the juice
of lemon has been squeezed.
. .
-
rf.trt. ' * * t.t I > r. Kline i Ur ftl Ner e i i.ir r.
t u.l KftKIC S--J.UO trial Lottie i.atre'.ti.o. .
Do. R. II. ivl I.NB L.W..SJ1 A-.oo St. . I'stUiUlBMo , 1 1-
No man Is co .rrnorau : that he
doesn't , know what he would do if he
were in your place.
Use Diamond "C" Goap and get a
full gilt mantel clock for nothing.
Other valuable pries also.
"What is t'ne difterer.cs between
your teas ? " Clerk In those of the
first quality some bad tea is mixed
with the good , and in those of the
second quality some good is mixed
with the bad. " Fliecende Blatter.
The less important a man is the
more badges he puts on his coat.
M-
THE EXCELLENCE OF SYRUP OF HQS
is due not only to the originality and
simplicity of the combination , but also
to the care and skill with which it is
manufactured by scientific processes
known to the CALIFORNIA FIG SYBUP
Co. only , and we wish \o impress upon
all the importance of purchasing1 the
true and original remedy. As the
genuine Syrup of Figs is manufactured
by the CAUFOHNIA FIG SYEUP Co.
only , a knowledge of that fact will
assist one in avoiding the worthless
imitations manufactured by other par
ties. The high standing of the CALI
FORNIA FIG SYKCP Co. with the medi
cal profession , and the satisfaction
which the genuine Syrup of Figs has
given to millions of families , makes
, the name of the Company a guaranty
of the excellence of its remedy. It is
far ia advance of all other laxatives ,
as it acts on the kidneys , liver and
bowels without irritating or weaken
ing them , and it does not gripe nor
nauseate. In order to get its beneficial
effects , please remember the name of
the Company
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. Cut.
y. NEW TO It IT. JT.T.
Best Couph SJTUV. Tastes G xl. Use
la time. Sold by drcggista.
.
THE BBEAK&L
In appearance he was about as com
monplace as other people a middle-
aged man , inclined to portliness. AS
the train moved on he discussed com
monplace subjects with me in a com
monplace way. I should not have Iven
surprised to have been told that lie
was a stockbroker or a solicitor or
tfiat he was engaged in the tea trade.
Zn the course of our chat something
happened to be said about curious oc
cupations.
"Well. " said my companion , "I So
not suppose that there is "any more
curious occupation than my own. I
am a breaker. "
He had not at all the appearance
of a man used to horses ; but 1 sug
gested , "A horse-breaker , you mean ? "
"No , " he said , "just a plain breaker.
A man who breaks things , breaks any
thing that requires to bo broken ; cets
his living by breaking. "
I glanced nervously at the communicator
cater , though he looked even less like
a lunatic than he did like a horse-
breaker.
"I see , " he said , smiling , "that I
must explain. When I left Cambridge
with a classical degree , no prospects
and no influence , I looked about for a
profession. I found everything over
crowded ; besides , none of the profes
sions appealed to me at all. ,1 like to
travel about a little , and I enjoy social
life. I like talking talking to any
one. I hate work of any kind. This
being the case , I looked about me lo
see if there was not a chance for some
new profession ; if among our million
wants there was not one that was not
supplied. The idea came to me by
accident. I was stopping at my
uncle's IIOUFC when he received as a
present from his wife's brother a sin ?
gularly ugly but very valuable pair of
oriental vases. His wife's brother was
frequently in my uncle's house , ar.d
therefore these abominations had to
be displayed. I heard him grumbling
about this. I suggested that he should
sell them. The idea was. of course ,
absurd ; he told me so. Nor ; he said ,
could he break them himself , for his
wife's brother would never forgive
him ; nor could he ask liis wife to break
them , because , although he had been
married fifteen years , he felt that nc
did not know her well enough ; nor
could he ask the servants to break
them , for that would encourage care
lessness and thriftlessness. 'That is
all right , ' I said. I rose from my place
and smashed the vases one after the
other on the floor. 'Sotry I was so
clumsy , ' I said ; 'you had better ring
and have this rubbish cleared away. '
He rang , and told the servant I had
broken them accidentally. When pbe
had gone he said without a smile ,
'It seems rather a pity. ' I said , 'I am
very short of ready money. Could you
lend me five pounds ? ' He wrote me a
check for twenty , and said that I was
a useful man to know of. Then I said ,
'Recommend me to your friends , or
already I sa - the possibilities cf my
future profession. He mentioned mete
to some half-dozen people he knew ,
some of whom I had never seen in
my life before. They sent ms invita-
SMASHED THE VASES ,
tions to their houses , and they indi
cated the objects on which I was to
operate. In my first week I broke ,
I remember , a lamp shaped like nn
owl , an oil painting , a tea service and
a dining-room table. "
"But an oil painting , " I said. "How
does one break an oil painting ? "
"It is simple enough. " be said. "I
first of all undid the wires so thc.1 the
picture fell , then in picking it up I
-put my foot through the face. It was
a portrait of my host's wife's aunt.
It was more difficult to break the din
ing-room table. I recollect that it be
came necessary for the purpose to in-
veiit a somewhat boisterous form of
round game. Even then we had to
play it for three evenings before the
legs came off. When I left this house
my host handed me a check and prom
ised to recommend me to other people.
I never advertise , and I have more
breaking to do than I can possibly
lind time for. If I could find a young
man with plenty of tact I would take
him as an assistant. "
"It must need some tact , " I sug
gested.
"It does. It so often happens that
I am employed by the husband without
the knowledge of the wife , or by the
wife without the knowledge of the
husband. Even with the utmost tact
one gets oneself disliked , but that I
must put up with. The other day one
of my clients asked me to come to
his house to break a dinner service.
I dined there and made myself as
pleasant as I could and told several
good stories. But then I also broke
the dinner service , or most of it , and
it was one lo which my hostess was
much attached. She said to him after
ward , 'I will never have that brute iy
my house again ! ' "
"And what did he say ? "
"He said , 'I fully agree with you ,
my dear. To the best of my belief the
man was drunk. If he had not been
the son of an old college. friend , I
should never have asked him at all. '
That was a little mean ; but then it
was necessary for him to cover him
self in some way , and as I never break
a d-'oner service under twenty-five
pounds , I received some solatium for
the indignilj' . "
"Have you got any engagements nt
present ? " I asked.
"Yes , " he said. "I am going to one
now , but it is a trilling thing requiring
no tact at all. Had I an assistant I
should have sent him. I am to go the
day after a wedding reception , when
the presents are being packed. Those
which , from their ugliness or worthlessness -
lessness , are not worth packing up and
sending to the bridegroom's distant
home , have been placed on a separate
shelf. I shall upset that shelf and
accidentally .step on anything which is
not broken in the fall. The job won't
lake me five minutes , and I get three
guineas for it. I am doing it for the
bridegroom without the knowledge of
the bride. Men begin to deceive wom
en very soon. I find. "
"I have , " I said , "one or two little
objects in my own home which "
But at this moment the train en
tered Victoria station , and though I
managed to complete my sentence ,
and my companion said that he would
be glad at any time to oblige me , in
the confusion of our arrival I neglect
ed lo take his name and addrcci or
to give him mine. " Barry Pain.
SHEDDING BLUE CLOTHES.
Undo Sam's Hoys' Old CJolbes Worn by
Younger 1'atriots.
From the Chicago Tribune : Soldiers
who have returned home and been
mubteicd out are shedding the blue
uniforms of Uncle Sam. A large drop
ping off of men wearing the blue has
been noticeable since the chilly days
came and especially .since Colonel
Young's First cavalry was paid off and
discharged at Fort Sheridan on Tues
day. The Chicago troopers proceeded
to get into clothes more suitable for
the chilly air , and the troopers front
the country took early trains for home.
But the uniforms will continue to do
service even after being discarded by
the men who were them to the front.
Occasionally a blouse , a pair of leg
gings or a cavalry boot is to be seen
in the stock of a pawnbroker. Some of
the soldiers get rid of the garments by
giving them to their own children or
their neighbors' boys. These young
sters delight in the blue clothes. They
wear them regardless of lit , adjusting
them as well as they may , with pins
and bits of string. They are particu
larly fond of the leggins , and a boy
with a pair of them is the envied of all
the juveniles in his circles. He can
trade them for any other valuables any
of the envious may possess. A canteen
is another favorite article from the
soldieiiV kit , but it is not nlwa\'s put to
good uses. Over on the west side one
day last week the police raided a can-
rushing soiree in a secluded alley. The
receptacle the guests were using was a
canteen that went through the cam
paign. The slouch hats are also in
demand- , especially amongst teamsters ,
or young fellows who desire to put a
tough edge on themselves. Besides
being a serviceable article of dress Un
cle Sam's hats are capable of being
pressed into wonderful and startling
shapes. Some of the decorated hate
command fancy prices , and many have
been offered for sale , which the ven
ders are willing to guarantee had seen
service in the battles before Santiago.
They point to holes in them as passag
es made by Mauser bullets. Of course
the soldiers arc not allowed to retain
their aims , but what they are allowed
to keep they generally part with quick
ly , usually in a spirit of generosity ,
but occasionally as a means or profit.
YOUNG HEROINE OF A WRECK.
Texas Girl \Vlio S.tvecl a Knilroid Super-
intcudciit from Ucath.
The authorities of the Houston ana
Texas Central railroad are consider
ing how best to show their apprecia
tion of the jcoolness shown by Mis.3
ilae Mosse in a recent wreck on their
line at Chambers cicek. A trestle gave
way at that point and a portion of the
train plunged into the water. Super
intendent Daffan of the road was in
the ' car with Miss Mosse and both were
precipitated ] into the abyss. Mr. Daffan
was at once pinned down to the floor
by a broken seat. "Water was pouring
into the car and the superintendent
would certainly have been drowned but
for assistance given him by Miss
Mosse. The girl was the only passen
ger who kept a cool head. Exerting
all her strength , standing meanwhile
waist deep in water , she managed to
release Daffan to such an extent that
he was able to sit upright. Even then
the water was up to his chin , but rose
no farther , aj&l so he escaped with life ,
though badi , ' injured. Miss Mosse ,
seeing him in comparative safety , went
to the assistance of others and render
ed invaluable aid to a number of suf
ferers. Miss Mosse lives in Denison.
is not quite. 18 years of age and was
on her way to take up her studies at
the i Austin university when the acci
dent ( happened.
Apparent Different' .
Johnny "Pa , some of the curious
people round here they call 'odd' and
some of the others 'eccentric. ' What
is the difference ? " Pa "When a ma. .
is said to be eccentric he usually hos
more or less money. When he is poor
a man is simply odd. " Boston Trans
cript.
"Why noes pointless conversation al
ways bore the quickest ?
"It is all very nice to inculcate re-
spet for gray hairs , " said the Cornfed
Philosopher , "but I think a litt.e rev
erence for bald heads ought to be in-
stllted also. " Indianapolis Journal.
It isV" . D. Koweiis wlio says :
'Society is interested in a man's
future , not his past , as it is interested
in a woman's past , not her future. "
Satan invariably smiles when a
woman falls in love with the wrong
man.
The choice of a birthplace is of less
importance than the choice of parents.
A handy device for hanging clothes
is formed of a ring to be screwed to the
top of a post to support a number or
arms , which ar dropped into a hole
in the end of the post when not in use.
A Missouri woman has designed an
ice creeper to slip on the sole of the
shoe , a steel plate , with curved ends ,
to grip the edges of the sole having
teeth to engage the ice as the wearer
walks.
A handy cup for eggs boiled in the
shell has slots near the edge for the
insertion of a table knife to jemove
the top of the shell , tha cup having a
removable lining so as to hold eggs of
different sizes.
For use in curling the hair a newly
designed instrument has the ends *
the tongs flattened , to be heated and
press the hair after it has been dam
pened and wound on curl papers or
crimping pins.
The skin can be quickly removed
from potatoes by a new cleaner formed
of a tubular net of sharp cords having
a number of knots on the inner surface ,
the tubers being placed in the net and
shaken rapidly.
An Australian has designed a new
diving dress in which Eteel rings are
woven into the cloth or sewed be
tween two thicknesses , for the purpose
of resisting the pressure of the water
at great depths.
Tobacco pipes can be thoroughly
cleaned by a new device consisting ol
a pump to be attached to the bowl of
the pipe to draw water in through the
stem and forcibly discharge it to dis
lodge the impurities.
Shoe laces are to be made with a core
of hemp or other strong cord inclosed
in a loosely-woven casing , the core ex
tending into a tongue of coiled wire or
soft brass at either end , thus forming a
string which will not wear out easily.
For complete list of prizes given free
to . users of Diamond "C" Soap write
Cudahy Packing Co. . So. Omaha , Neb.
It's difficult to convince a schoolboy
that history repeats itself.
Florida.
Are you going to Florida ? Do you
want rates , maps , route ? , time-cards
and full information ? If so , address
II. IV. Sparks. 254 Clark street , Chi
cago.
I knsw an Ignoramus who pro
nounced Psyche "fish. "
Hf Mi-seil DP..SETII AK.VOLrvs COUGH KlU.ri :
I-i my l.imihfor 'J5 yei.ri. Mrs. A. buchancLk ,
MitmuapulN , MInu. IKi ; . a bottle.
If the hearth is untidy the room is
untidy.
TBie hight , . mountain is Mount
Everest , in Thibet , 20,002 fest , or 5"A
miles.
Try taking cod liver oil in tomato
catsup if you want to make it palata
ble.
ble.Try
Try a silk handkerchief over the face
when obliged to go against a piercing
wind.
Try a cloth wrung out of cold water ,
put about the neck at night , for a sore
threat.
Try walking with your hands behind
you if you find yoursnlf becoming bent
forward.
Try breathing the f/ / s of turpen
tine or carbolic acid t rrelie/e whoop-
in ?
way does pomnesn conversation al
ways bore the quI-Kext ?
Why can't truth be raised from the
bottom of the well with a windlass ?
Why is football call d play , and
shoveling coal considered hard work ?
Why does the joke we think of just
before going to steep depart never to
return ?
Why dote a woman always turn her
back to her companion WUPH she
' orer.s her purse ?
| Why doesn't
some enterprising nac-
, aer put a realistic war opera on the
' stage with rival romrdians in it *
NATION
It h&s been s&id or Americans tbtt they
nation oF dyspeptics" and ! it is true
that few are entirely ; free from disorders
of the digestive tr&cp 'ndiftestion. Dyspepsia.
Stom&ch &nd Bowel ] _ ble.or Constipation.
The treatment of these discuses
with ccvth&rtic mcciicmes too often &o-
r vo-tes the trouble. °
THE LOGICAL , TREATMENT
is the use "f & remedy thkt will build up
the system , thereby en&b.linrj the v&nous
organs to &ct a Nature \nten dec ! they should.
Such remedy is found in Dr YMliixms Pink
Pills for Pjx\e \ People : > Mere is the proof\
In Detroit there sre ferr soldier ? more popular and efilcisnt than M = x
R. Uavies , first scrjjcant of Co. II. Hi > home is at 416 Third Axenu ; . For
four years he v.as a bonk < wfei > < .r with thiiioklsale drujj hou c of 1 amud.
V\"illinins fc Clark , nnd he says : "I ha\e charged tip many tkou > 3ud
orders for L'r.Viha iV rin I'ills for Tale People , but tie er Vnc-t tJicir
worth until I used them for the cure of chronic dyspepsia. 1'or t o x"eai
I suffered and doclorrd for that c g-2\3titiK trouble but could osly be
helped temporarily.
"I think dttpcpsia 5 one of th rnr t stubborn of ailment * , and there
is scarcely a cltfrk or offire raau but \\hit is more or ic'-s \iclim. . 013 =
dajs I could c t ncvthiiit ; , trliile at othrr time * -no-ild l > c atarvisg.
Those < listressetl pcius would force me to quit \rork. I have tried many
treatments and renitdi--s but they would help only for a tme. A friend
I induced j.ie to try Dr. V.'illiainb' I'inU Pi'Is for I'ae 1'ecple , sr.d after tal.-
inga few doses I foTir'l much relief a id ctter t' in } ; cveral boxci I was
cured. I kno\r thej-e ] iiH 5 ill cure dj-pcp'.ia of its worst forin and I C2i
pleased to recommend them. " Dettci : ( Jfsca.jjurx. ' .
The genuine p&iX&ge c\w \ * ys be ri the { yn mc
At dtl druggists. OT icnt po p&id on receipt of pxut.SG
per box , by the Or.WiUi&ms Mcdiune CoSihencaa.i\y.H \ Y.
Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt is one of
the few wives of political notabilities
who shares her husband's enjoyment
of cartoons. Mrs. Thomas Pisiit has
said that she sometimes fears to open
a paper. So. too. Mrs. Russe ! Sage.
But Mrs. Roosevelt has made quite .1
collection of the multitudinous icpre-
sentations of the Rough Rider.
While there's life there's Soap Diamond
mend "C" Soap.
There should be one Mary ia every
family.
the oMC'f qml 1 cst. I ; v.ll mrntc up .co'iln"--k
el.-c. < t i .i : : .yi rcl'sDW. 'J.r > it.
David Union , who is said to be tlie
richest man in Ohio , i the son of a
poor Irishman , who inlonued his loy
for : i blacksmith.
It is easy ro npppar amiable if one
has a svreet voice.
&IEN AT WORK Ali
re
CR CN . J
PLEASURE EEOT Je t some PHYSICAL
® ' R B is a good uiend in such
K s times of need ; it cures E'.i
" IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED ,
TRY
AS IF 3Y RSAG3C.
EVERY IViATJl AKD WOMAN
SHOULD READ.
Lives of suffeilas and misery from this n'pnNive dlsense turned Into health and 1 : .1U > I-
, throiiKli tbo von of
fully
Oatairli.or l-ai.triliil : IlLcnAour CATARRH EXPELLANT not , -tue.
Dejifno-trt. totalling rr < iu Ua arrli. quu'Uv i-iired
l.o o of eiistr smell and fl tc ijuji'l. ly n-.lori > . , _ _ .
puUivisvmplonitiiiHivto < -.firrlitl : troubles , as , foul hn-atli. na-.il li < HiirR .
T. Cuii itiiijr. mill spilt iur. relieved at once.
, . . , , , ,
. xl.-k Moumch.
Imli tlmi.
rl-Pl Vfferiio.ix of MoniaHi. J.IMT or Kidneys , cans TR
Nuuscu. YTo.iUii ' K. I > t > | 'res < lmi. I < i x \iiilillicm ami I . rjin i tin'ii.
Most or wcaKn-ssof nu-n and women isc-auseil by r.tiairbal I 1' ' ' " " ' .
dihflmws n < l tlielr way to tinstoma.h uiiil into the Nl. anil rt1MriMili.il 1. .
thocutre ; s\slem. siffe.-tinir Hieital and 3.it i'ori-OK : ! , -a i lnt ; inose On.-.uil - .iti.l
l er\oiih UYatuseshC's so dreaded by evt-rv man and woman
. an-l m-rrt--t luth u I
Theae weakm-sacs : ruroil by CATARRH EXP..LI.I.AMT -
strength fully ie .ioicil t'M-r live iiuwliril testimonials in pialsiof tbis iruatnnnl re
ceived since 'January 1. 1 97. If you have Cat&rrli or any C.untrli.u I'lic ise.
RICHARD'S CATARRH EXPELLAMT '
Will cure you juntas sure a < water will quench thirst. Write to-day for li'MMnouUls and
valuable mirtlvc paper on ttiesa ( liscu C- > . SENT I'u'KK. Address
C. H. RICHARDS CO. ,
OMAHA. > 'F-BRASKA.
! In the reign of Eilv. .d Ifl ail 'hf
brrwers ami Laker * wr v orr-en. an < l
t \vhon men fiist b gan < o e'scu e .n
j'h' s G ( eipatoa it wat I'.ou bt D
j rranpo rhut thowere cai ! 'd men
'
'brewers and men bakers.
n ct n A com TV OXE D.\T
, rrjVe T tsitiit ; lJrf's. > t uilae T.iMet.s. Ail
drujri-.ts scfundthr lOrni it it raiNSucur-
' i.x. The genuine Las I * , fi > . oa ich taolju
When men and razors are strapped
they always become sharper.
I Ztrs. Yi jiision-
For hitren ! ttvltirp nj-j .c : > e f.ui .
1 d'.iOit ail'-.y- { lain , rurt1 Tnrd t > " - '
i Edna Your foa e s 3eas familiar
Ijellab * It is Had it sia e I ws
Laby Tid-IJits.
A Berliner claims to lnv.seove ! < i
a pancr and an ink th.n will rei.-t
the effect of fire.
W. N.U. OMAHA. No.V91SS3
V.'l'iCP Aasv-erirn Advr'tKti'isis hiIy
T-kr.riort T'sr * Taper.
tatsrnaticnzi Type-high Plates
Thev will --ai ? tin * s wi- "
roe : : , i . they iaa bo fca. . Ut a
th ; ii tvpc
-
' to short len ttis
j -ciuiu triil order ; . ' t . - t/"oo acu ' -
' cor.nrf(1. .
1 IVESTE3H REW3PAF5P. US50K ,
I CMAHA. NH5.
mt'i t nif { J"T > \ - rcr c >
y 5 LUHk ualSi a
FAIRBAMKS SCALES isa
r.vafar ctmr r.tr'c
. vviliwi .
i , , , ! ! % > " .
i . t. At !
CURE VQUftSLLF ?
f ' - * <
, , , , , ; , , CI ,
/ _ / Iucl rl.r.t \j .rllt.it .HlH or lll l..I
I _ ) tiol U . ! < , .f I'lll.OlIX l > Mll > * >
l iHrrT ait r.iii s.tfr. r n I. . - . . ml not Hft.iu
CiSCINNtT..C. [ - J NnM
n.s. A. *
t
W. R. ROBERTS ,
Omaha , turn widely and very favorably Known iti Oimtba ami lowj
Mritcson AJay 6. liiPS : "Abo'ut | \C'.U-B airo 1 t > ui lcu u.lSinr
votis DYSPEPSIA- ' ' ' 'cl ani hunua , l.iok of fitvnlntn-n. toof
etc. 1 slept poorly and > va ? in a toiriMo ontuliiuui 1 UvU
s lie no vat or
end found it to be the bnsi rpniecly I ever useil , 1 toolc no oth r mo
cine and in ; \ short tinu I named -10 jiouruN 1 bu" . snu-e taking t
1'enovtitor. ate well , sic-pi M ll. and : un five from i-o'd ' han-lti ivtd fo
ciKMilation is good niui the cure t-ecma pennant : tt a--l l.ihltiiy. "
Dr Kay's TJcnovutcr ie sold by tSuiecl ts nr srnt > r i'iul t' r V > fix un 1 Jl or *
(5 Do not UVo anj Mitiiiitutc. for It lia < no r'i J' l- It ' an rtviltc'il V" 'liri- * < > ' '
Icstuei e tonltf Uacwn } > nu for Dr Knv-i Koine I n iuit'tit. nn I UIN'U U'-I HI v
1'oolt. ' free Or.o man salil he mould not tuLf | ! for our of lt v pie u < u > thir ku.vi
nould not tuUe tlO for the Look Dr U J Kuy Me > lloul lo , Um.ilm , JCco
