The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, July 02, 1897, Image 7

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f B R 0B T L0US , STEVENSO& .
-
. .
H' ' INTERNATIONAL.PRESS ASSOCIATION.
Hf CHAPTER XIII.
H\ Ir T fll HE next morning
H \ vTsr \ vi there was a most
Hg , \xt H \ unusual outcry in
Hh , WijSa ± 0 $ tnc Doctor's house.
Hl W&y&i I The last ihIng be"
Kf : * * SZttir ) JX * orc B ° 5nS to bed ,
VAk Par S 1 tne Doctor had
jg llSliSNSs locked up some
C f * valuables in the
fl \ = : ilK . dining-room cup-
k ' * " " • board ; and behold ,
Hff i when he rose again ,
fk as he did about four o'clock , the cup-
K board had been broken open , and the
, valuables in question had disappeared.
TUadame and Jean-Marie were sum-
K /noned from their rooms , and appeared
H\ In hasty toilets ; they found the Doctor
HP/ raving , calling the.heavens to witness
Ki { "and avenge his injury , pacing the room
HjV barefooted , with the tails of his night-
A shirt flirting as he turned.
H \ "Gone ! " he said ; "the things are
S gone , the fortune gone ! We are pau-
' \ pers once more ! Boy ! what do you
y
H J know of this ? Speak up , sir , speak up !
H / Do you know of it ? Where are they ? "
H/ He had him by the arm , shaking him
H v like a bag , and the boy's words , if he
I had any , were jolted forth in Inartlcu-
* • late murmurs. The Doctor , with a re
! vulsion from his own violence , set him
-down again. He observed Anastasio
B / in tears. "Anastasie , " he said , in quite
H > an altered voice , "compose yourself ,
H ) > command your feelings. I would not
r liave you give way to passion like the
vulgar. This this trifling accident
must be lived down. Jean-Marie , bring
me my smaller medicine chest. A gen
\ tle laxative is indicated. "
_ j And he dosed the family all round ,
B f leading the way himself with a double
B A quantity. The wretched Anastasie. who
K \ bad never been ill in the whole course
H | * h of her existence , and whose soul re-
Hf' \ coiled from remedies , wept floods of
HI J tears as she sipped , and shuddered , and
Hi 3 protested , and then was bullied and
Hj ' % shouted at until she sipped again. As
H lor Jean-Marie , he took his portion
H \ down with stoicism.
B \ "I have given him a less amount , "
H observed the Doctor , "his youth pro-
H M tecting him against emotion. And now
H jL that we have thus parried any morbid
1 consequences , let us reason. "
I i "I am so cold , " wailed Anastasie.
I \ "Cold ! " cried the Doctor. "I give
I § thanks to God that I am made of fierier
I % material. Why , madame , a blow like
JT j this would set a frog into a transpira-
has been minutely respected1 This Is
wily ; it shows intelligence , a knowl
edge of the code , a desire to avoid legal
consequences. I argue from this fact
that the gang numbers persons of re
spectability outward , of course , and
merely outward , as the robbery proves.
But I argue , second , that we must have
been observed at Franchard itself by
some occult observer , and dogged
throughout the day with a skill and pa
tience that I venture to qualify as con
'
summate. No ordinary man , no occa
sional criminal , would have shown
himself capable of this combination.
We have in our neighborhood , it is far
from improbable , a retired bandit of
the highest order of intelligence. "
"Good heaven ! " cried the horrified
Anastasie. "Henri , how can you ! "
"My cherished one , this is a process
of induction , " said the Doctor. "If any
of my steps are unsound , correct me.
You are silent ? Then do not , I beseech
you , be so vulgarly illogical as to re
volt from my conclusion. We have
now arrived , " he resumed , "at some
idea of the composition of the gang
for I incline to the hypothesis of more
than one and we now leave this room ,
which can disclose no more , and turn
our attention to the court and garden.
( Jean-Marie , I trust you are observant
ly following my various steps ; this is
an excellent piece of education for you. )
Come with me to the door. No steps
on the court ; it is unfortunate our
court should be paved. On what small
matters hang the destiny of these deli
cate investigations ! Hey ! What have
we here ? I have led you to the very
spot , " he said , standing grandly back
ward and indicating the green gate.
"An escalade , as you can now see for
yourselves , has taken place. "
CHAPTER XIV.
= 0&p * URE enough , the
fMW green paint was in
IrJklk \ several Places
" nfx ECratcued and bro-
IPwml s/J ) i ken ; and one of the
rymA / panels preserved
HI tB tne print of a naHed
J lv9 | Ma , shoe. The foot had
" " \WMmk \ s"PPedhowever ,
j- < Wmh/ and il was difficult
S. . . . to estimate the size
of the shoe , and
impossible to distinguish the pattern
of the nails.
"The whole robbery , " concluded the
Doctor , "step by step , has been recon-
In any particular exercise the moral
sense. And second , painting , in com
mon with all the other arts , implies the
dangerous quality of imagination. A
man of Imagination is never moral ; ho
outsoars literal demarkatlons and re
views life under too many shifting
lights to rest content with thc Invidious
distinctions of the law ! "
"But you always say at least , so I
understood you" said madame , "that
these lads display no imagination
whatever. "
"My dear , they displayed imagina
tion , and of a very fantastic order , too , "
returned the Doctor , "when they em
braced their beggarly profession. Be
sides and this is an argument exactly
suited to your intellectual level many
of them are English and American.
"Where else should we expect to find
a thief ? And now you had better get
your coffee. Because we have lost r
treasure , there is no reason for starv
ing. For my part , I shall break my
fast with white wine. I feel unaccount
ably heated and thirsty to-day. I can
only attribute It to the shock of the
discovery. And yet , you will bear me
out , I supported the emotion nobly. "
The Doctor had now talked himself
back into an admirable humor ; and as
he sat in the arbor and slowly imbibed
a large allowance of white wine and
picked a little bread and cheese with
no very impetuous appetite , if a third
of his meditations ran upon the missing
treasure , the other two-thirds were
more pleasingly busied in the retro
spect of his detective skill.
About eleven Casimir arrived ; he had
caught an early train to Fontaine-
I bleau. and driven over to save time ;
and now his cab was stabled at Ten-
taillon's , and he remarked , studying
his watch , that he could spare an hour
and a half. He was much the man of
business , decisively spoken , given to
frowning in an intellectual manner.
Anastasie's born brother , he did not
waste much sentiment on the lady ,
gave her an English family kiss , and
demanded a meal without delay.
"You can tell me your story while wo
eat , " he observed. "Anything good to
day , Stasie ? "
He was promised something good.
The trio sat down to table in the arbor ,
Jean-Marie waiting as well as eating ,
and the Doctor recounted what had
happened in his richest narrative man
ner. Casimir heard it with explosions
of laughter.
( TO B3 COSTINOSn.l
TWO CLASSES OF READERS.
Those Who I < lko Dickens and Those Who
Adore Thackeray.
"About fifteen years ago readers
used to be divided roughly into two
classes those who 'liked Dickens' and
those who 'adored Thackeray , ' " says
the Ladies' Home Journal. "Each class
used to view the other with more or
less contempt. Of the two the Thack
eray people felt themselves consider
ably superior to the Dickens people.
H \ \ HEY ! WHAT HAVE WE HERE ?
I tion. If you are cold , you can retire ; I
r K and. by the way , you might throw me
' down my trousers. It is chilly for the
X 'p" "
I M Oh , no ! " protested Anastasie ; "I will
I § stay with you. "
I 5 "Nay , madame , you shall" not suffer
" said the Doctor.
[ | F f0r your devotion ,
m , -'Iwill myself fetch you a shawl. " And
M he went upstairs and returned more
. , fully clad and with an armful of wraps
% for the shivering Anastasie. "And
\ now , " he resumed , "to investigate this
* pH # crime. Let us proceed by induction.
I | - / Anastasie , do you know anything that
% can help us ? " Anastasie knew noth-
"
\ ing. "Or you , Jean-Marie :
\ "Not I , " replied the boy steadily.
/ "Good , " returned the Doctor. "We
\ shall now turn our attention to the
/ material evidences. ( I was born to be
I a detective ; I have the eye and the sys-
jp tematic spirit. ) First , violence has
fc been employed. The door was broken
M open ; and it may be observed , in pass-
"tei ing , that the lock was dear indeed at
f\ what I paid for it : a crow to pluck with
m \ - Master Goguelat. Second , here is the
% instrument employed , one of our own
m table-knives , one of our best , my dear ;
J [ which seems to indicate no preparation
I1 * * on the part of the gang if gang it was.
w Thirdly , I observed that nothing has
" % been removed except the Franchard
J& & liRh 3 and the casket ; our own silver
I .
stituted. Inductive science can no fur
ther go. "
"It is wonderful , " said his wife. "You
should indeed have been a detective.
Henri. I had no idea of your talents. "
"My dear , " replied Desprez , conde
scendingly , "a man of scientific imag
ination combines the lesser faculties ;
he is a detective just as he is a publi
cist or a general ; these are but local
applications of his special talent. But
now , " he continued , "would you have
me go further ? Would you have me
lay my finger on the culprits or rath
er , for I cannot promise quite so much ,
point out to you the very house where
they consort ? It may be a satisfaction ,
at least it is all we are likely to get ,
since we are denied the remedy of law.
I reach the further stage in this way.
In order to fill my outline of the rob
bery , I require a man likely to be in
the forest idling , I require a man of
education , I require a man superior to
considerations of morality. The three
requisites all center in Tentaillon's
boarders. They are painters , therefore
they -are continually lounging in the
forest. They are painters , therefore
they are not unlikely to have some
smattering of education. Lastly , be
cause they are painters , they are prob
ably immoral. And this I prove in two
ways. First , painting is an art which
merely addresses the eye ; it does not J
, „ . r i , , „ | . , ,1 , , 1. . . , .y .T.agj. tk- - .
There were not so many of them , for
one thing , and that in itself gave- them
a feeling of exclusiveness. But Thack
eray's complete works for $3.99 rapidly
abolished the aristocracy. Artificial
barriers do not long count for much
with a great writer. You no doubt
very soon found out that in certain
moods there was nothing more satis
fying to you than 'Pendennis , ' and at
another time the best novel that you
ever read was 'David Copparfield. ' I
have no doubt that in the long run deep
in your heart you will cherish a finer
affection for the one than the other.
That is a matter of temperament and
your surroundings. The one you like
best fits best into your life as you are
making it. You will discover that a
change of scene or occupation often
brings you 5 - > sympathy with a
writer whom you never before appre
ciated. A great sorrow will sometimes
reveal George Eliot to you ; a little
journey in England will show you new
beauties in Trollope ; a wave of war
feeling in Europe and people begin re
reading Tolstoi's 'War and Peace. ' "
Wisdom.
"I can't see why they speak of the
wisdom of the serpent. "
"Well , you never heard cf a serpent
getting its leg pulled , did you ? "
' " ' i' 'I ' mi in i fc i . i ii i i i i ) | P l K l I II Hi ,
TALMAGE'S' ' SEBMON.
A TRIBUTE TO LAWYERS IN
LAST SUNDAY'SDISCOURSE.
From the Text : "Urine Zona * the law
yer" Tltu- * Chapter a , Verse 13
Trials , Temptation * unit Triumphs of
the Frofcjsloii.
ft HE profession of
-gs y ' the law is here in-
Hp jjfr * * trcduced , and with-
i - . In two days in thor
rrur
r fr : : ! ! capital city 303
vi < : . .v0 Ksi3 young men joined
If and at tnis sca"
= = //ft *
; pg * pJ S ? [ W son in various
$ f 7/M parts of the land
Z Lc fW other hundreds are
sP Cv hJ taking their diplo-
E r V" ? / "
mas for an Illus
trious profession , and is it not appro
priate that I address such young men
from a moral and religious standpoint ,
as upon them are now rolling the re
sponsibilities of that calling represent
ed in the text by Zenas the lawyer.
We all admire the heroic and rigor
ous side of Paul's nature , as when he
stands coolly deliberate on the deck of
the corn ship while the jack-tars of
the Mediterranean are cowering in the
cyclone ; as when he stands undaunted
amid the marbles of . the palace , before
thick-necked Nero , surrounded with
his twelve cruel lictors ; as when we
find him earning his livelihood with
his own needle , sewing hair-cloth , and
preaching the gospel in the interstices ;
as when we find him able to take the
thirty-nine lashes , every stroke of
which fetched the blood , yet continu
ing in his missionary work : as when
we find him , regardless of the consequence
quence to himself , delivering a tem
perance lecture to Felix , the govern
ment inebriate. But sometimes we
catch a glimpse of the mild and genial
side of Paul's nature. It seems that he
had a friend who was a barrister by
profession. His name was Zenas , and
he wanted to see him. Perhaps he had
formed the acquaintance of this lawyer
in the court-room. Perhaps , some
times , when he wanted to ask some
question in regard to Roman law , he
went to this Zenas , the lawyer. At
any rate , he had a- warm attachment
for the man , and he provides for his
comfortable escort and entertainment
as he writes to Titus : "Bring Zenas
the lawyer. "
This man of my text belonged to a
profession in which are many ardent
supporters of Christ and the Gospel.
Among them , Blackstone , the great
commentator on English law ; and Wil-
berforce , the emancipator ; and the late
Benjamin F. Butler , attorney general
of New York ; and the late Charles
Chauncey , the leader of the Philadel
phia bar ; and Chief Justices Marshall ,
and Tenterden , and Campbell , and Sir
Thomas More , who died for the truth
on the scaffold , saying to his aghast
executioner : "Pluck up courage , man ,
and do your duty ; , my neck is very
short ; be careful , therefore , and do not
strike awry. "
Among the mightiest pleas that ever
have been made by tongu * of barrister ,
have been pleas in behalf of the Bible
and Christianity as when Daniel
Webster stood in the supreme court at
Washington , pleading in the famous
Girard will case , denouncing any at
tempt to educate the people without
giving them at the same time moral
sentiment , as "low , ribald and vulgar
deism and infidelity ; " as when Samuel
L. Southard , of New Jersey , the leader
of the forum in his day , stood on the
platform at Princeton College com
mencement , advocating the literary ex
cellence of the Scriptures ; as when Ed
mund Burke , in the famous trial of
Warren Hastings , not only in behalf
of the English government , but in be
half of elevated morals , closed his
speech in the midst of the most august
assemblage ever gathered in West
minster Hall , by saying : "I impeach
Warren Hastings in the name of the
house of commons , whose national
character he has dishonored ; I impeach
him in the name of the people of In
dia , whose rights and liberties he has
subverted ; I impeach him in the nam ?
of human nature , which he has dis
graced ; in the name of both sexes , and
cf every rank , and of every station ,
and of every situation in the world , I
impeach Warren Hastings. "
t
No other profession more needs the
grace of God to deliver them in their
temptations , to comfort them in their
trials , to sustain them in the discharge
of their duty. While I would have you
bring the merchant to Christ , and
while I would have you bring the farm
er to Christ , and while I would have
you bring the mechanic to Christ , I ad
dress you now in the words of Paul
to Titus : "Bring Zenas the lawyer. "
By so much as his duties are delicate ,
and great , by so much does he need
Christian stimulus and safeguard. We
ill become clients. I do not supose
there is a man fifty years of age. who
tias been in active life , who has not
been afflicted with a lawsuit. Your
aame is assaulted , and you must have
legal protection. Your boundary line
s invaded , and the courts must re
establish it. Your patent is infringed
jpon , and you must make the offend-
ng manufacturer pay the penalty.
Sfour treasures are taken , and the thief
nust be apprehended. You want to
nake your will , and you do not want
: o follow the example of those who ,
' or the sake of saving $100 from an at-
orney , imperil $250,000 , and keep the
jeneration following for twenty years !
luarreling about the estate , until it is i
til exhausted. You are struck at by an 1
tssassin , and you must invoke for him i
he penitentiary. All classes of per- '
; ons in course of time become clients , ;
Lnd therefore they are all interested in j
he morality of the Christian integrity
if the legal profession. "Bring Zenas ]
he lawyer. " i
But how is an attorney decide as to 1
vhat are the principles by which he i
hould conduct himself in regard to his t
lients ? On one extreme , Lord Broug- 1
tarn will appear , savine : "The inno- (
cence or guilt of your client Is noth
ing to you. You are to 6ave your client
regardless of the torment , the suffer
ing , the destruction of others. You arc
to know but one man In the world
your client. You are to save him
though you should bring your country
Into confusion. At all hazzards you
must save your client" So says Lord
Brougham. But no right-minded law
yer could adopt that sentiment. On the
other extreme , Cicero will come to you
and say : "You must never plead the
cause of a bad man , " forgetful of the
fact that the greatest villain on earth
ought to have a fair trial and that an
attorney cannot be Judge and advocate
at the same time. It was grand when
Lord Erskine sacrificed his attorney-
generalship for the sake of defending
Thomas Paine In his publication of his
book called "The Rights of Man , "
while , at the same time , he , the advo
cate , abhorred Thomas Palne's irre
ligious sentiments. Between these two
opposite theories of what Is right , what
shall the attorney do ? God alone can
direct him. To that chancery he must
be appellant , and he will get an an
swer in an hour. Blessed is that at
torney between whose office and the
throne of God there is perpetual , rev
erential , and prayerful communication.
That attorney will never make an ir
reparable mistake. True to the habits
of your profession , you say : "Cite us
some authority on the subject. " Well ,
I quote to you the decision of the su
preme court of heaven : "If any lack
wisdom , let him ask of God , who giveth
to all men liberally , and upbraideth
not. and it shall be given him. "
There are two or three forms of
temptation to which the legal profes
sion Is especially subject. The first of
all is scepticism. Controversy is the
lifetime business of that occupation.
Controversy may be incidental or acci
dental with us ; but with you it is per
petual. You get so used to pushing the
sharp question "Why ? " and making
unaided reason superior to the emo
tions , that the religion of Jesus Christ ,
which is a simple matter of faith , and
above human reason , although not con
trary to it , has but little chance with
some of you. A brilliant orator wrote
a book , on the first page of which he
announced this sentiment : "An hon
est God is the noblest work of man ! "
Scepticism is the mightiest temptation
of the legal profession , and that man
who can stand in that profession , re
sisting all solicitations to infidelity ,
and can be as brave as George Briggs ,
of Massachusetts , who stepped from the
gubernatorial chair to the missionary
convention , to plead the cause of a dy
ing race ; then on his way home from
the convention , on a cold day , took off
his warm cloak and threw it over the
shoulders of a thinly clad missionary ,
saying : "Take that and wear it , it will
do you more good than it will me ; " or ,
like Judge John McLean , who can step
from the supreme court room of the
United States on to the anniversary
platform of the American Sunday
School Union , its most powerful orator
tor deserves congratulations and en
comium. Oh , men of the legal profes
sion , let me beg of you to quit asking
questions in regard to religion , and be
gin believing. The mighty men of your
profession , Story , and Kent , and Mans
field , became Christians , not through
their heads , but through their hearts.
"Except ye become as a little child , ye
shall in no wise enter the kingdom of
God. " If you do not become a Chris
tian , Oh , man of Hie legal profession ,
until you can reason this whole thing
out in regard to God and Christ and
the immortality of the soul , you will
never become a Christian at all. Only
believe. "Bring Zenas the lawyer. "
Another mighty temptation for the
legal profession is Sabbath breaking.
The trial has been going on for ten or
fifteen days. The evidence is all in.
It is Saturday night. The judge's gav
el falls on the desk , and he says :
"Crier , adjourn the court until ten
o'clock Monday morning. " On Monday
morning the counsellor is to sum up
the case. Thousands of dollars , yea ,
the reputation and life of his client
may depend upon the success of his
plea. How will he spend the interven
ing Sunday ? There is not one lawyer
out of a hundred that can withstand
the temptation to break the Lord's day
under such circumstances. And yet , if
he does , he hurts his own soul. What ,
my brother , you cannot do before
twelve o'clock Saturday night , or after
twelve o'clock Sunday night , God does
aot want you to do at all. Besides
that , you want the twenty-four hours
3f Sabbath rest to give you that elec
trical and magnetic force which will be
worth more to you before the jury than
ill the elaboration of your case on the
sacred day. My intimate and lamented
' riend , the late Judge Neilson , in his
Interesting reminiscences of Rufus
Dhoate , says that during the last case
hat gentleman tried in New Vrk , the
: ourt adjourned from Friday until
Monday , on account of the illness of
Ur. Choate ; but the chronicler says
hat on the intervening Sabath he saw
Ur. Choate in the old "Brick Church , "
istening to the Rev. Dr. Gardiner
5pring. I do not know whether , on
he following day , Rufus Choate won
lis cause or lost it ; but I do know that
lis Sabbatic rest did not > , him any
tarm. Every lawyer is et * ' < VJ to one
lay's rest out of seven. It \ " - surren-
lers that , he robs three Gouhis own
oul , and his client. Lord Castlereagh
nd Sir Thomas Romilly were the lead-
rs of the bar in their day. They both
ied suicides. Wilberforce accounts for
heir aberration of intellect on the
xound that they were unintermittent
a their work , and they never rested on
lunday. "Poor fellow ! " said Wilber-
orce. in regard to Castlereagh. "Poor
allow ! it was non-observance of the
abbath. " Chief Justice Hale says :
When I 6 not properly keep the
.ord's day , all the rest of the week
; unhappy and unsuccessful in my
worldly employment. " I quote to-day '
rom the highest statute book in the
niverse : "Remember the Sabbath day '
3 keep it holy. " The legal gentleman ' .
• ho breaks that statute may seem for
while to be advantaged ; but in the
mg run , the men who observe this law
E God will have larger retainers , vastI I ;
1
er Influence , greater professional sue- !
cess than those men who break the
statute. Observance of the law of Godl
pays not only spiritually nnd eternally ,
but it pays in hard dollars , or bank j
bills. I
Another powerful temptation of the j ]
legal profession Is to artificial stlniu- ' ]
lus. No one except those who have j
addressed audiences knows about the !
nervous exhaustion that sometimes I
comes afterward. The temptation to I
strong drink approaches the legal pro- I
fesslon at that very point. Then a j
trial Is coming on. Through the 111- \
ventilated court room , the barrister's
health has been depressed for days and
for weeks. He wants to rally his en
ergy. He is tempted to resort to arti
ficial stimulus. It Is either to got himself - I
self up , or let himself down , that thl3
temptation comes upon him. The
flower of the American bar , ruined In
reputation and ruined In estate , said
In his last moments : "This is the end.
I am dying on a borrowed bed , covered
with a borrowed sheet , in a house built
by public charity. Bury me under
that tree in the middle of the field. j
that I may not be crowded ; I always | (
have been crowded. " 1
Another powerful temptation of the t I
legal profession Is to allow the absorbIng - I
Ing duties of the profession to shut I
out. thoughts of the great future. You 'I
know very well that you who have so M
often tried others , will after a while ,
be nut on trial yourselves. Death will
serve on you a writ of ejectment , and
you will be put off these earthly prera- I
Ises. On that day , all the affairs oC •
your life will be presented in a "bill oC
particulars. " No certiorari from a H
higher court , for this Is the highest H
court. The day when Lord Exeter was H
tried for high treason ; the day when H
the house of commons moved tor the H
impeachment of Lord Lovat ; the days < H
when Charles I and Queen Caroline H
were put upon trial ; the day when H
Robert Emmet was arraigned as an in H
surgent ; the day when Blenncrha set 'H '
was brought into the court room because - H
cause he had tried to overthrow the [ H
United States government , and all the H
other great trials of the world arc jH
nothing compared with the great trial il
in which you and I shall appear sum- f J
moncd before the Judge of quick and fl
dead. There will be no pleading there H
"the statute of limitations ; " no "turn- H |
Ing state's evidence , " trying to get off H
yourselves , while others suffer : no H
"moving for a nonsuit. " The case will ' H
come on inexorably , and we shall bo ' M
tried. You , my brother , who have so H
often been advocate for others , will H
then need an advocate for yourself. H
Have you selected him ? The Lord j H
chancellor of the universe. If any H
man sin , we have an Advocate Jesus H
Christ the righteous. It is uncertain H
when your case will be called in. "Bo H
ye also ready. " H
A THRILLING REMINISCENCE. H
A Forty-XIner's Tale of Kseape rrom tht > H
Apaches. |
From the Detroit Free Press : " 'Bout : j H
th' closest call I ever had. " said the M
long-legged man on a backless chair in M
front of the grocery , "wus when I wus1 fl
emigratin' to Californey in ' 49. There M
wus 'bout fifty of us started together. M
but didn't agree very well , so ten of us' M
sep'rated frum th' rest , an' run a exper- M
dition o _ f our own. We got along all M
fight till we got among them Apaches.f M
They was soon hangin' on our trail' ' M
an' one day they s'rounded us. They H
wus fifty to our one an' all we could M
look for'ard to wus to die fightin' . M
They kep * a circlin' an' a circlin' an' aJ |
gittin' nearer all th' time , an' us stan'irt ) H
with cur backs together waitin * till we H
cculd shoot to kill. Jist when we wus > H
a whisperin' good-bye to each other H
them red devils took to their heels H
like th' United States army was arter H
them. It wus an airthquake done it , H
an' we wasn't troubled no more. " H
"Wus they a volcaney there ? " asked H
the little man with high shoulders and H
a weazened face. H
"Naw ! What'er you talkin' 'bout vol- H
caneys ? I said airthquake. " H
"I heerd you. But I went through , H
that same deestrick that year. Them H
Apaches got after us an' we hustled H
them up into th' crater of a volcany so H
as to stan' 'em off. We built a kin' of a. H
platform inside an' they couldn't a took H
us in a thousand years if we'd hed H
grub. One mornin' when we wus jist H
about starved , that ole volcaney kirn , H
to life , cut loose like a dynermite explosion - H
plosion an * we wus blowed ninety miles H
to th * west afore we landed in a saa'H
hill. Not a durn one of us had a > H
cratch. " The long-legged man reached H
for his weazel skin , took on a sickly H
grin and said : "What'll you fellers H
Depew and the Scotchman. j H
Scotchmen do not like to be remind- H
> d of the saying that it requires a sur- H
; ical operation to make them see a1 H
joke. and. as a matter of fact , they aro- H
is susceptible to the influence of most H
jood stories as anybody else. Dr. De H
lew , however , seems hardly to believ6 H
his , though he has many warm friend * H
imong Scotchmen , including Ian Mac H
aren himself. Once at'a Scotch din- H
ser the doctor said that if the jokes |
tttered by him that evening were not | |
nstantly appreciated they surely would H
te by the time the next annual dinner' | |
ras held. |
"I don't think that's a very funny H
hing to say. " was the growling com- H
aent of a handsome old Scot sitting ; |
tear | |
"Oh. " said Depew , "that's all risht. H
Tou'll see the fun of it a year from. j H
ow. " Exchange. | |
Unhandy Savings Bank. |
"He says that he intends to lay up |
reasures in heaven. " H
"I wonder why he doesn't put them |
rhere he can get them some time. " |
lev : York World. H
The proportion of people in Norway j fl
. -ho speak English is larger than in H
ny other country of the world. H