BMgJMJJWW 'ir ' iiilMllllllllll I n tttmtmmmmmmm
1
Hfm HIS ONLY EOMANCE.
Rs * - $ , - . T was two years
j e *
iffj .S \ Jf since Joe Bentley
| | t / p V ) ' JI had left his borne
R < | fiK / J ol \ \ j.In a quiet little
K l iV Wj&f' & " as 0h , ° town to 8eek
A JUtt - .TCR $ hls f ° rUmo In the
Bw ? > , fyyi each working day
Hjfifi ) \ * \ y 1n(1 found liim at
H Ki ° . ' . / his desk in a large
'
H'ISl 'LS" mercantile house
B JVi in Chicago. Hejiad
K jfAtt been fortunate in securing a position
n EV at once , through a brother of his town
HwBV postmaster , who was now chief clerk
M K | in the office. Joe will never forget
B * > those two years lonesome two years
V JKV lley were , the moreJonesome , perhaps ,
L By because he had never been away from
P K\ home and among strangers before.
VK When he first came to Chicago the
HhT World's Fair and other attractions
KYRk made the city a wonderful place for the
9Sftn ? country boy , but these soon paled or
HBtf S passed away , and the loneliness settled
HriHjt V upon him as he felt himself a stranger
| E\ in n strange land.
MH\ For a time he attended church , as
Krf bad been his habit at home , but they
HKwere such large places , and the con-
H ' grcgation and young iolks dressed and
Hft acted so differently from the church
H Y' folk ajt home that he finally got in the
B | l habit of staying away. He sorely missed
lit J'v Ills town acquaintances , the compan-
HjA V ionship of his sisters and brothers and
H X the bright smile of Cousin Fan , who
Hflm used to pop in so unexpectedly and
w . leave such a volume of sunshine behind
HHI Jier when her father would come to
Kf town to do his marketing. The girls
K\ "with whom some of his fellow-clerks
V associated , and with whom they tried
V \ to make him at home , somehow failed
H | J to fill the bill. Somehow it didn't seem
K right for the fellows to greet them on
Ji the street with a familiar slap on the
R | shoulder and a "Hello , Kit , old girl.
Hfi how you is ? " and in spite of himself
H he felt too much of an aversion to
Kj them to enjoy himself or make himself
H [ entertaining and dropped them.
JK\ At last a change came gradually , to
Ery\ oe sure , 3o slowly that Joe hardly knew
Hf v there had been a change till it was
K there. For several days the seat at
Hl the opposite end of the table in the
HKp restaurant Joe ate lunch had been oc-
%
Hfiui cupied by a modest-appearing little
Rf woman , whose long lashes fringed the.
H darkest of blue eyes and whose slight-
nj ly pouting lip ? and rounded cheeks
HM glowed with the natural health which
Hi can never be duplicated by art , and
HL which only country air * can give. The
K v next day she was in the same seat , and
Mp the next and the next , and Joe soon
HFf came to look forward , unthinkingly , to
Bs * seeing the bright face of the unknown.
<
B % 0ne d y the chair was vacant , and
H Hf Jce , with a sense of deep disappoint-
HJK ) ment , knew why it was he looked for-
BS& ward so eagerly to the noonday meal.
Hk | } The next noontime he took particular
H Bl pains with his toilet and was so im-
Bij patient that he was at the table five
K minutes before his accustomed time.
H V Y She was not there and his heart sank.
K | An A n-inute later it bounded again as he
H B saw the well-known figure coming down
H the aisle. As she pulled back her chair
Hft preparatory to taking her seat , some-
HHw hnw or other , Joe never quite knew
B miW/mt
1 Imp
1 iiifc
MW "I'ir ASHAMED OF YOU- "
SP how it happened , the big blue eyes
| HpTi Hashed for a moment into his and he
PK was on his feet blushing and bowing.
Hr ' T"s was tne beginning , and it be-
Q came customary to bow , later to sit side
MH by side and talk during lunch , and , if
mN time permitted , to .walk with her as
Hp far as the Monadnock building , where
R t she was employed. He had vainly tried
H f * ° discover her name , but when he had
B ? naively informed her that it was awk-
| Pf ward to call her "Say , " she had asked
M him to call her simply Miss Margaret ,
Kf adding that this was what she was most
V generally called and was most accus-
K tomed to.
m This went on 'for several weeks and
H Joe had several times been on the verge -
HB of asking for her address that he might
m v call , or asking her to accompany him
B .rS ? " to the theater , but he kept delaying ,
B Ki 'fearing that he might rupture the gro w-
B ing friendship and be left again to
| himself and the lonesomeuess of feel-
PV ing that he knew almost no one.
v One noontime ( and Joe will always
K remember it ) she was not in her ac-
B custGnad place , although the day be-
Hl ' fore she had been speculating what the |
B bill of fare would be. He ate as slowly J
HK as he could and spent his whole noon
B hour in the restaurant , but when he
H left , the chair was still vacant. The
H next day the same experience. He re-
K preached himself for not finding out
H more about her perhaps she was sick
B4 or had met with an accident. At any
HT"tife rate , she knew his name and address
Mp r why didn't she at least drop him a
HraR ) ? line ? Surely it was cruel to leave him
B1 ? ! ' ' ' ' in such uncertainty. He brooded over
T < what might possiblj' have happened to
HI her , till bis health began to fail. He
m had never thought the daily walk of a
B few blocks could mean so much to him.
B Several weeks passed by and the
B chair still continued vacant On the
H [ very day his two years was up Joe re-
H membered tba she had snoken of
\
Oconomowoc one day in connection
with her family. Hp would ask for
a few days' respite from work an * go
up there. He had never asked for 0
vacation and they surely would not re
fuse him. Besides , it was not far from
Chicago and many Chicago men went
up Saturday nights to spend Sunday
with their families who were stopping
there. Anyhow , he would go for the
rest of the week possibly he might
see her or learn of her and the change
would do him good even if he didn't.
The next morning , Wednesday , he
started. He could only be spared for
for the rest of the week , but what
might not happen in four whole days ?
When he arrived at the depot of the
pretty little Wisconsin town he found
himself anxiously looking around ,
though he condemned himself for his
foolishness in doing so why should
she be around the depot if she was in
the town ?
After he had registered at a hotel he
wandered aimlessly about the town ,
admiring the handsome houses and the
beautiful twin lakes , and watching the
launches , filled with happy campers ,
darting to and fro. In the afternoon
he hired a boat and tried to fish , but
after a couple of hours' effort , when
only a couple of sickly looking dog-
'fish rewarded his efforts , he gave it
up in disgust and returned to the ho
tel.
tel.At
At dinner that evening he was made
aware of the fact that a circus was in
town by a couple sitting across the
table from him , who had come in from
the surrounding country and were go
ing. In the barber-shop also there was
nothing talked of but the circus. It
made him feel quite at home to see the
enthusiasm created by the mere fact
of a circus being in town. How differ
ent from Chicago , where nothing
seemed to be able to command but
passing ) interest.
Then he remembered that at home
everybody went to the circus why
shouldn't they do it here ? and per
haps she might be there. He would
go to the circus.
It was a little late when Joe reached
the tent. He had not calculated on
how many would be ahead of him for
the single barber's chair nor how long
it would take the hotel bootblack to
put a satisfactory gloss on his shoes.
As he entered the tent he went down
the open space to the ropes and start
ing at one end glanced as critically at
each face as the flickering of the gas
oline lamps would allow. Of a sudden
he stopped , rubbed his eyes ana looked
again. Yes , surely that was Margaret ,
looking fairer and more winsome than
ever , appearing quite out of place
among the rustics who surrounded her
and , wonder of wonders , there was
an empty seat beside her. In a matter
of ten minutes Joe had forced his way
to where she sat and found himself at
her side. She appeared glad to see
him and Joe felt supremely happy as
explanations on both sides were being
made though he thought it strange
that she assigned no reason for her
sudden departure from Chicago.
All things must have an end and the
entertainment came to a close. Joe's
request to "sea her home" had been
accepted and he seemed to be treading
on air as he left the tent with the lit
tle hand resting lightly on his arm.
As they were nearing a crossing and
Joe was opening up a subject of carrying - *
rying on a correspondence a woman's
form came under the light across the
way. Margaret half turned around
to go back with a "Gracious , there's
ma ! " Joe looked more closely and
saw a middle-aged woman with a de-
<
tc-rmined-looking face hurrying toward
them. She took Margaret sharply by
the arm and drew her to one side as
she said :
"I've been hunting for yon every
where what made you change your
seat ? We won't trouble this j'oung
man 'or his company any further"
with a scathing look at Joe "I'm
ashamed of you , out with a young man
and your wedding only three days off.
I'll be glad when Frank has you to
look after instead of me. "
And as Margaret was being hurried
away from across the street Jtfe , caught
the gleam of a ring on the little hand
that was surrentitiously waved to him.
Truth Crashed to X&rtlu
From the Atlanta Constitution : A
wcrthy colored deacon , who had early
impressed upon his only son and bei ?
the moral of the George YvTashington
cherry tree story , was fortunate
enough to find a fat 'possum recently.
He bore it in triumph to his dwelling ,
and , assisted by his son , cooked it to a
juicy brown.
"Now , " said he , " "de bes' way ter eat
a " "possum is col' ; so we'll jes' let him
stay in de pantry , a. when jnawnin'
comes he'll be mo' jucier den ( ver ! "
His son seemed sadly disappointed ,
but he made the best of it , and both
retired for the night.
> The old man was up early mext
morning , but the boy slept on.
On opening the safe the astonished
parent discovered nothing but bones
in the dish that had contained the
'possum. He brought the drowsy
youngster to his feet with one vigor
ous jerk , and dragging him to the
scene of the wreck , he said :
"What does dat mean , eh ? " '
The boy fell'on his knees and cried :
"Daddy , I can't tell a lie ; I got up in
de night en eat it wid my little mouf ! "
The old man said not * a word , but
dragging the boy to the front door he
hercf him by the collar while he
jerked a piece"of weatherboarding
from the side of the house. '
"Dsddy , " cried the boy , "is yer
gwine to lick me fer tellin' de truth ? "
"No ! You kinky-headed debbil ,
you ! " thundered the old man , "I
gwine ter frail de hide off ye for eat-
in' de 'possum ! "
Gold Coin Nearly All 2fcw.
Of the gold coin now in circulation
in England a small proportion only
bears an earlier date than 1879.
; • KrsA , * ,
' LJ * m'
in nTi \tMtf't" \ 1
I RACE OF "LITTLE NIQGERS , "
avage Dwarfs Who Live Near the Baj
of UengnL
In an archipelago in the Bay of Ben
Hal there exists a race of savage
dwarfs. Sailors call them "litfle nis-
gers , * ' because the average height of
thorn is four feet ten inches , the wo
men reaching a stature of four feel
boven inches. The oddest thing about
these little people , Eays the San Fran
cisco Chronicle , is that they look like
babies all their live3. It is only lately
that these dwarfs of the Andaman
Islands have known how to build fires.
There is a volcano on one of these
islands , and from this they have pro
cured fresh supplies of fire when neces
sary , but they know how to keep slow ,
slumbering embers sufficiently alive
not to compel them often to visit the
volcano. The thing which has excited
their curiosity most of anything intro
duced by the whites is the friction
match. Formerly the dwarfs of the
Andamans were accustomed to mur
der all strangers who reached their
shores. Even now sailors wrecked ia
the Bay of Bengal would probably be
massacred. It is believed the inveter
ate hostility of the "little niggers"
arose originally from the cruel prac
tices of the Malays , Burmese and Chi
nese , who visited the Andamans to get
edible birds' nests and sea cucumbers ,
and who used to capture the little na
tives and sell them for slaves. There
are several shades of color among them ,
ranging from bronze to shiny black.
Their hair is extremely frizzled , grow
ing in spiral tufts. It is fine , and sel
dom becomes more than two or three
inches long. Most of the women shave
their heads once a week , leaving only
two narrow strips of hair from the
crown to the nape of the neck. Many
of the men do the same , although the
style is different. They leave a patch
like a skull cap on the crown of their
heads. The most remarkable custom of
these little people is the wearing of
necklaces of human bones. When a
child dies it is buried , only to be dug up
again. The father carries the body to
the nearest Creek and removes the flesh
from the bones with the greatest care ,
carrying them and the skull back to
his hut. The mother , after painting
the latter with a yellow pigment , hang ?
it around her neck. Infants' skulls , be
ing fragile , are protected by a covering
of string. For a few days a mothei
will spend all her time stringing the
bits of bone into necklaces , to be dis
tributed among her friends as memen
toes. These are supposed to ward off
disease. Teeth are also strung as neck
laces , every native of the Andaman
slands wearing a chain of some sort of
mman bones.
DRIED UP ON AN ISLAND.
Four Suitors Turned Into Mummies by
Solar IIcat.
"The warmest weather that I evei
experienced , " writes a navigator whoi
has been all over the world , "was on a
small island called John's Biscuit , off
Cape Gracias , on the , coast of Hondu
ras. The Elizabeth Jennings , on which
I sailed in 1870 from Portland , stopped
there for water , and a boat's crew wen :
ashore for it. It wasa little volcanic
island and awful dry and hot. We
didn't know whether there would bs
any water there or not , but we did find
a spring with a stream as large as
a broomhandle pouring out all the
time. And , do you believe me , th
water was dried up and soaked up be
fore it had run four feet in the sand.
The place was covered with dried trees ,
and a little distance away was what
looked like a hut a habitation for
man. We went in and found the
shrunken remains of four men , sailors
probably , who had died in one night , tc
judge from appearances. One was
leaning against the wall in a sitting
position. There was dry food on the
table , dry meat in a box and everything
was burning dry.
"A. letter in the pocket of one man
was- dated Liverpool , 1S16 , and on the
table was a bottle with a note in it ,
evidently intended to be cast adrift.
It said they were four English seamen
marooned by the captain , left ± 0 die.
The note was dated 1816 , and I suppose
they had been there dead in that hut
for over thirty years , and they must
have died of. heat one day and dried
right up. We left them where wt
found them. "
Cost More Titan He's Worth.
A dog who has eaten up a farm ana
a set of buildings has been found in
eastern Maine. This dog killed a
neighbor's sheep. The neighbor of
fered to call it square if the dog was
killed. The dog's master refused tc
agree to this , and a lawsuit came next
To pay the costs and damages assessed
by the court the owner of the dog had
to mortgage his farm for 5100- The
mortgage had a bigger appetite than
the dog , and soon his farm was gone
and'the owner had to move away. The
log is now dead.
Do Xot Want Sunday Work. '
By order of the city council of To
ronto , Canada , a ballot was taken
among the street railway employes to
ascertain their sentiment on the ques
tion of running the street cars on
Sunday. Two hundred and fifty men
voted. Of these 220 were against Sun
day work.
The Telephone Eur.
It has been ascertained by experi
ment that a number of persons who
use the telephone hear better with the
left ear than with the right. The
common practice of the telephone com
panies is to place the receiver so that
it will be applied to the left ear.
When a man is ashamed to look in a
mirror it is a safe 7 > ot that his wife buyj
bis neckties.
I
E- - - , * mi nn-on in , i7i " " WWg
_ s' _
WHAT A LIE.
\ Editor Sayt That It T Ue Money
to Run n Newapupor.
From the Covington ( Ohio ) Gazette :
I "It takes money to run a nowspapor. "
St. John ( Kin. ) News.
What an aggregation ; what a whop
per. It has been disproved a thou
sand times ; it is a clean case of airy
fancy. It doesn't take money to run
a newspaper ; it can run without mon
ey. It is a charitable institution , a
begging concern , a highway robber.
B'Godfrey the newspaper i3 the child
of the air , a creature of a dream. It
can go on and on and on , when any
other concern would be in the hands
of a receiver and wound up with cob
webs in the window. It takes wind to
run a newspaper ; it takes gall to run
a. newspaper. It takes a scintillating , '
'acrobatic imagination , and a half doz-
sn white shirts , and a railroad pass to
run a newspaper. But money Heav
ens to Betsy ind six hands round , who
ever needed money in conducting a
newspaper ! Kind words are the med
ium of exchange that do the business
for the editor kind words and church
social tickets. 'When you see ari ed
itor with money , watch him. He'll
be paying bills and disgracing his pro
fession. Never give money to an edi
tor. Make him trade it out. He likes
to swap. Then when you die , after
having stood around for years and
"
sneered at the editor and his little jim
crow paper , be sure and have your wife
send in for three extra copies by one
of your weeping children , and when
she reads the generous and touching
notice about you , forewarn her to nef
gleet to send fifteen cents to the editor. 1
It would overwhelm him. Money is a
corrupting thing. The editor knows it
and what he ' wants is your heartfelt
thanks. Then he can thank the print
ers and they can thank their grocers.
Take your job work to the job office
and then come and ask for half rates
for church notices , Get your lodge
letter heads and stationery printed
out of town , and then flood the editor
with beautiful thoughts in-resolutions
of respect and cards of thanks. They
make such spicy reading , and when
you pick it up filled with those glow
ing and vivid mortuary articles , you
are so proud of your little paper ! But
money scorn the filthy thing. Don't
let the pure , innocent editor know
anything about it. Keep that for
sordid tradespeople who charge for
their wares. The editor gives his bounty
away. The Lord loves a cheerful giver.
He'll take care of all the editors. Don't
worry about the editor. He has a
charter from the state to act as a door
mat for the community. He'll get
the paper out somehow ; and stand up
for you when you run for office , and He
about your pigeon-toed daughter's
tackey wedding , and blow about your
big-footed sons when they get a § 4 per
week job , and weep over your shriveled
soul when it is released from your
grasping body , and smile at your giddy
wife's second marriage. He'll get along.
The Lord alone knows how but the
editor will get there somehow.
New Line to Washington.
The poptilar Monon Route has estab
lished a new Sleepiug Carline to Wash
ington , D. C. via Cincinnati : ind Park-
ersbnrKby the C. H. Sc D. . B. & O. S.
\Y. and B. & O. " Railways. The sleeper
is ready for occupancy in Dearborn
station any time after 0 p. m. , and
leaves at 2:45 a. m. daily , arriving at
Washington at t5:47 the following morn
ing. This schedule will be in effect on
January 24 and thereafter. As the
sleeper iroes through without change ,
and the hours of leaving and arriving
are most convenient , this will prove al
together Uhe most comfortable , as well
as the most picturesque route to the
national capital. City ticket office. 232
Clark street Depot , Dearborn Station.
Shattered His Conoeit-
• 'What's the matter , Harry , old man ?
You look downcast"
" • I am downcast My wife told me
last night that I was the biggest fool
on earth , and then she proceeded to
prove that what she said was true. " '
"I don 't understand. How did she
prove it ? "
• • By reading a lot of love letters that
I wrote to her before we were mar
ried. " Detroit Journal.
NO-TO-BAC FOR FIFTY CENTS.
Over 404,000 cured. WhynotletNo-To-Bac
regu ate or remove your desire for tobacco.
Saves money , makes hea'th and manhood.
Cure guaranteed , 50c and$1.0i > .alldruggMs.
Poverty is the mother of many pains and
sorrows.
TO CURE A COLD IN 0 > 'E DAY.
TaUc Laxative Broino Quinine Tablets. Ail
Drugyists refund the money if it f atU to cure. 25c
The British aristocracy include * fourteen
thousand rersons.
F'TS stopped free and pennauenily cured. Xoflts
after first das use of Dr. Itline's Gieatiene
Keatorer. 'Free 2 trial bottle and treatise.
fceud to Dr. Kline , 'JS1 Arch : -t. . Philadelphia , Pa.
Apple beer is nowthe rage in the country
districts of Maine.
53 | forebodings !
j mental unrest , despondency and fear of 9
j death or impending danger , are symptoms H
arising from the poisoning of the blood by 13
uric acid. Uric acid retention in the blood h
causes over ninety per cent , of all diseases. H
! It is the active pciscn of rheumatism , gout , J
neuralgia , biliousness , pleurisy , heart dis-
case , brain fever , eczema , bronchitis , K
asthma , gravel , gall stones , Bright's disgj
ease and dropsy. # n
restores the kidneys to healthy action and g
enables them to separate and force the U
poisonous acid from the system. B
Here's the case of a well-known Philadelphian - a
phian cured of Bright's disease , which'is m
but advanced kidney disease. U
In the spring and fall of lEfji. I commenced t-sinjj
SAFE Curs for Bright's disease of the kidneys , so pronounced - B
nounced by three eminent ph > sirians of this city. Acting :
on the advice at a friend. Mr. A. L. Grant , who thoroughly - m
oughly believed in SAFE Cure. 1 used three bottles prior
to Rome abroad. Dunne my stay m Lot Jen. I purchased H
four bottles more. The remedy took effect at once , and H
to-day I am perfectly well.
, Chairman UnitedRy.SufpIy Co. V H
Sold in large , or new size , small bottles , by alldruj iits. Ml
- Twiiimii f
I in iiiniiij. i i . i ripnfTifli
* ' , * ' * , , ' ' " '
ttMiBaryiiniWig ! rw'-t wiii ii'
> ; > iMi .i iwii
" "
"
RENe COUNTY
RHEUMATISM.
NERVOUS DISORDERS IN CAS-
TLETON. KANSAS.
Seven Ycnra u SulTcrcr No Kotlcf from
riiyshlim * IMiik riln Work h Cure
Oit Mi * . Ann T. DeiiWi lit Six Work * .
11 row the Oazettc , Hutehiti on | | Kansas. )
> • ! ' tlierc is anything I have entire faith
in , in the way of medicine , " said Mrs. Ann
T. Dcveiiis.i or Cu&tlelon , Kolo Pounty ,
Kam > H3 , to a reporter , ' 'it is Dr. Williams '
Pink Pills for Palo People. "
' • Why ! do you ask well for seven years
I was a wretched sufferer from nervous
debility and rheumatism. My wrists wcro
so swollen and my fingers so stiff that 1 got
no sleep at night. My hips , backbone and
shoulder blades were so painfnl if 1 moved
that I would awake screaming with agony ,
and a small lump of bone o : * callous grew
on my spine , which was exquisitely painful.
Of course my heart was badly affected , and
the numerous physicians whom I cousulted ,
were all of one mind , and that was that
my days were numbered , and they could do
me no good.
"Icould not leave my bed without help ,
and once lay for three weeks in one posi
tion and would not have been sorry if
death had ended my sufferings , when one
day about three mouths ago , some one read
to me fi"om the Hutchinson Ga/ette an ac
count of a wonderful euro of a patient
whose ills were somewhat similar to mine ,
by using Pr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale
Picople.
" 1 was struck by what 1 heard and pro
cured a supply ot Pink Pills about six
weeks ago , and had not got through the
first box when I received extraordinary
Telief. Hope returned and 1 continued with
the pills , every day adding to my stoic of
health. My nerves became tranquil , the
rheumatic pains began to leave me. palpi
tation of the heart ceased , my kidneys and
liver grew normal , and though I am still
taking Pink Pills , I am almost well.
"I can tell you of three persons to whom
I have recommended Pink Pills all of
Castleton , who are suffering with heart
difficulty : Mrs. L. Smyth , Mi- . John Purcell -
cell and Mr. Maher. and they will tell you
what Pink Pills did for them , and tliey
also know what they did for me. " '
Dr. Williams' Piuk Pills contain , in a con
densed form , all the elements necessary to
give new life and richness to ihe blood and
restore shattered nerves. They are also a
specificfor troubles peculiar to females , such
as suppressions , irregularities and all forms
of weakness. They build up the blood , and
restore the glow of health to pale and
sallow cheeks. In men they effect a radical
cure in all cases arising from mental worry ,
over-work or excesses of whatever nature. I
Pink Pills are sold in boxes ( never in loose
bulk ) at 50 cents a dot or six boxes for $2.50 ,
and may be had of all druggists.or direct by
mail from Dr. Williams' Medicine Company ,
Schenectady , N. Y.
Swiss Kr s.
Grease either a silver or pretty fire
proof dish. Cut up four ounces of
cheese in slices and grate two ounces
finely. Arrange the slices in the bottom
tom of the dish , sprinkle over a little
pepper ; then break in four egg's , taking
care not to break the yolks , sprinkle
over a little pepper and salt. Then
place the grated cheese in a layer over
the eggs , and place one ounce of but
ter , cut in small pieces , on the top.
jBake in a quick oven for ten or fifteen
minutes. Serve very hot. If liked , a
teaspoon of parsley may be mixed
with the grated cheese. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Sal7er Seed Co. Ahead.
So enormous has been the demand for
Salter's " -eeds in Texas that the John A.
balzer teed Co , La Orosse , Wis , sent out a
special train on January lltli , loaded ivith
seed potatoes , grasses and clover , seed
corn , oats , etc. . to bo distributed among its
southern customers.
Wasted Knersry.
"Say. who is that man ? "
"His name is Kadgers. " '
' • I know his name , but what is his
occupation ? " '
• • He's a detective. "
• • Great Scott ! I met him at a recep
tion the other evening and after I was
introduced to him I put in half an hour
of the hardest work of my life trying
to keep from indulging in my abomina
ble habit of swearing. I thought he
was a clergyman. ' " Chicago Tribune.
Drafness Cannot T5e Cured
by local applications , as they cannot rearh
the diseased portion of the cnThere is
only one way to cure deafness , and that
is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an inflamed condition of the
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube.
When this tube is inflamed you have a
rumbling sound , or imperfect hearing , and
when it is entiiely closed deafness is the
result , and unless the inflamation can
be taken out and this tuhe restored to its
normal condition , hearing will be de
stroyed fore\cr ; nine ca'-es out of ten are
caused by catarrh , which is nothing but
an inflamed condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will gi\e One Hundred Dollars for
any ca e of Deafness ( caused by catarrh )
that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh
Cure , fcend for circulars , free.
V J. CIIEXKY & CU. , Toledo , O.
Sold bv druirgi-.ts. 75c.
Hall'sTamily Pills are the best.
Hoist by His Own Petard.
Casey ( confidentially to the foreman )
"Oi've bin afther watchin' Kerrigan
fer th' lasht two hours , 'an' divil a
shtroke uv wur-ruk hoz he done in
all that toirae. " Foreman "Be hivins !
Kerrigan wuz just afther comin' t' me
wi' th' same infermation about yersilf.
Yez are bote discharged , fer watchin'
instid uv v/ur-rkin' . " Puck.
'Sim. "Win Iows r ootliinr Sijrup
For children teethinsr , of tens thejrum' ' . reduce * , inflam
mation , allajs pain , cures * ind colic 20 < .ents.ibottle.
The hero of the family in cold v.eather is
the one that gets up first and shakes the
fire.
Wuxx billious or costive , eat a Cascaret.
candy cathartic , cure guaranteed. 10c , ' 'oc\
Salt thrown on a low coal fire will revive
it.
" " " ' * " " " , " " , * ' " ' ra < m B
7"'i < * * - I urn . now l" "
' * a | l
si.oo ror. it cunts. j * ! I
Millions now plant Salzer's seeds , * fr'
but millions more should ; hencu after. > I
1 pkg. DIsmirck Cucumber 15c if
I pkg. Hound Globe Deet lUo | I
1 pkg. Earliest Carrot 10a * f j H
1 pkg. KaiHcr Wllhelm Lettuce 15o j
1 pkg. Earliest Melon lOo i H
1 pkg. Giant Yellow Onion ICa | H
1 pkg. 14-D.y Radish 10u | H
3 pkga. Brilliant Flower Seeds 15c | H
Now all or above 10 packages. In- | H
eluding our mammoth plant and seed iH
catalogue , ar. mailed you free upon > l M
receipt of only 11 cents' po3tag < ; . H H
25 pkgs. Earliest Vegetahlo Secd.l.00 , H
21 Brilliant Blooming Plants $1.00
John A. Salzer Seed Co. , La Crosse , fl
WLj. w.n.
' . H
Hinslei * Curtain I'olo.
In the ringless curtain pole in.ndo H
Ity an English lirm there is mi undercut - H
cut groove in the under .side of the H
pole , iu which work a bet of metal H
eyes , which hang out of the opening H
of the groove , and roll in it on small H
rollers working in the underontpor- H
tion of the groove. It it. iutjuiiiou.s j H
and simple , and certainly seems likely - H
ly to work more smoothlv than the j H
ordinary curtain ring. M
To Oct Out or the War M
When trouble is cominc U obviously the H
part of common sense. An o < structioit of H
the bowels Is a soi Ions obstruction to health. , H
To get this out of the wiy ; is an ea y matter - H
ter with the thorough la\ati .c. llotuttrr' H
stoimicli i Itters. which , although italTords H
relief , never gripes and con\nI- llko a H
drastic purgative. Uyspepsijt , malarial. H
kidney and rheumatic ailments imd norv- H
ousuess yield to thK miial faintly ruetllrlne. H
ISctter Tliuai Coining. * ] H
Farmer Urown , af tar fourteen hours H
at haying Neve ? mind , Tommy ; H
hayin' don't last forever. Just ru- H
member that winter's comin * .soon , H
an' nothiif to do but saw woo. ! au' j H
'tend the cattle an' go to school un' |
study nights. " Harper's Bazar. I H
TcsT try n 10c I ox of Cascarets , candy I H
cathartic * the finest liver and Lowei regulator - H
" "
later "H
Nearly every man believes that 'ate- has " "H
" "
a grudge against him. H
I IT'S CURES | H
| THAT COUNT. | H
? > Many so-called remedied are > l ' H
pressed on the public attention /5 H
Y ) on account of their churned it H
/ > large sales. But sales cannot < \ i H
c determine values. Sales simply % * H
v > argue good salesmen , shrewd < f H
? > puffery , or enormous advertis- ( \ |
y mg. It's cures that count. It b j H
Y > is cures that are counted on by ( t H
\ > Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Its sales ( S * H
ll might be boasted. It has the , > H
y > world for its market. But ( ( H
? > sales prove nothing. We point < S |
C only to the record of Ayer's J > I H
S ) Sarsaparilla , as proof of its K A H
/ ' merit : ; S H H
| 50 YEARS | I H
I OF CURES. I | H |
Comfort to l H
California. H
" " " "
Every Thursday afternoon H
" " " "
: i tourist sleeping car for "H
Denver. Salt l.ako City. San " " " H
" " " "
Francisco , and I.os Air cli-s "H
" " " " "
leaves Omaha ana Lincoln "H
" " " "
\ii the lSurlinstori lioutc. < HIt
" " " " "
It is carpeted , upholstered |
" " " "
in rattan , has spring scat. , "H
" " " "
and hacks and is protidotl "H" "H
. i with curtains , bedding : tow- M
IHBSB33S2 els.M > apetc. An experienced H
11 flM ImTU II II excursion conductor anda H H
iflpUyfeam ! uniformed I ullinari porter H H
jlI'ljtfif jKj accompany it through to the H
iHmwkS ! l'uiic , Const. H
[ wipwcTfetga ; While neither as expcii- H
snely iinished nor .is. line to- H
look at as a palai e alceper.it H
is just as good to rule in. fcec- H
end class tickets arc honored H
and the price of a hertli.u idu H
enouzh and big enough for | H
is only Si. H
1 or a folder giving full B H
particulars write to H
J. Fiiris , Gen'l l'ass'r Agent , Omaha.Neb. H
ssgfegPAitTEg. of CEXTrnrr or-i > |
S gWATERPROOF. 'SSK2 , H
Xo ItUST nor RATTf.K. Outlastt > x or iVon , | H H
A DurahloiiJiMitutcfor PIuMrronivnil * . M
Wnter Proof ; ? leutuin { ? of namr material , ttin H HH
t * > st i. cheapest in the m.irlcet.Wnt I or araplPKtc. H
" SMOKE YOUR MEAT Y/1TH > H
JilBCUUa. E.KfUUSER&EHL ) . MILTON , PA , H
ENSiONS , PATENTS , CLAIMSL H H
JOHN W. MORRISiVASHJKSTOM.D.C. H
Lats Principal Examiner TJ. 3. Pension Sanaa. B
3jra. ia lost wit , 15 aJjudisiiins claisia , arty , slara. H |
OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS H
Stove Pep air * for t j klad of store = ad H
1207 DOUGLAS S1G33AUA , HEE. M
tdTB B ? SfraCnrr < lln20t 231 > BTs. Ns ? UU H
Dr , Kay's ' Lung Sslm gg H H
W. N. U. OMAHA. No- -1897. . H
When writing to advertisers , kindly men |
tion H
A d * 13112 k I P&H { f * You'll find out -wbatj H
f' fCis ) k Isev J = s ® . H B a they are -vvlien you. . . . g H
| You'll find = I |
Y lAAf S jga
J out what Si sJA U'O ' jMifa | fl H
fe is when you put the crutches away , completely cured. f | H
2 25 * SO * S &dSiHlIISsaSi * * DBUGGISTSJ H
I flRROTTITRT V nnHPalTIWn t ° care an ? caseor constipation. Csscxrrts are the Ideal I-asa- * H
f flUUUUUimU UUiillniUEiEiU tire , never srip or = Tipe.bntransccasTnatnralresalt Saa-fc H
I plo and booklet free. AH. STERLING REJIEDT CO. , Chieaso. Montreal. Can. , or rTeirTork. = 17. $ H