. AND JARGON.
J -ORIGIN
OF WORDS THAT BECOME A
PART OF OUR LANGUAGE.
omc Ar. Ephemeral , but Others Retain
J Esilings Contribute -
tribute to Thle WordinakingSoino Well
Known Examples.
Slang.-A new word that has no just
season for existence ; a popular but tin-
anthorized word phrase or mode of
pressiotl ; the jargon of some particular
calling or class in society.-Webster.
In other words , anything in the way
of word or expression not in the dictionary -
ary is " When by reason of long
continued popularity and general nsago
it is deemed worthy of a place in thb
textbook and authority of the language ,
I it ceast + s to be "slang. "
It is from the jargon of particular
callings or classes in society that the
.English language is slowly but steadily
enriched. The slangphrase first becomes
dignifiodwith the term idiom , and then
3t creeps into the now dictionary. '
Not all slang is destined to this
apotheosis. Much of it is ephemeral. A
great deal of it is meaningless , silly or
weak and dies in its childhood. Actor
folk are given to the invention of now
phrases more or less expressive , but short
-lived. "The ghost walks" is ono of the
few instances of the jargon of stageland.
The theatrical term of "makeup" is
now ii general use as descriptive of
a nythingstriking inpersonaladornment ,
referring to the clothing and not to a
disguise or enhancement of the features
as originally. Song and dance men ,
Acrobats , serio comics , sketch teams and
the lower order of theatrical folk indulge -
dulge in slang that renders their conversation -
versation almost unintelligible. For instance -
stance , some knockout artist was struck
by the similarity of the words pardon
and pudding , and to his bright mind
the transition to "tapioca" was not difficult -
ficult , but there is no probability that
- the expression "Beg your tapioca" will
supplant "I beg your pardon" in the
Lang uago of the polite world.
The song and dance man may be cx-
cusod in summer days of bankruptcy in
calling the man with money , willing to
spend it for refreshment , an "angel , "
and this expression may in time creep
into the language , but for the present
the ancient term of "sucker" will suffice -
ficeCircus
Circus slang was the forerunner of
the jargon of the variety stage , and in
the good days when the "gaslit city of
tents" was planted upon every village
green the circus folk had a language almost -
most their own.
The roots of theirveruacularwerethe
various parts of the tent and equipment
of the show. The boss of the show was
called the "main guy , " and this expression -
sion has to a certain extentsurvived the
decline of the circus , and the "main
guy" is frequently heard of in work-
shops.
The great cattle ranges of the west
have given the world the term "round-
up. " It originally referred to the annual -
nual gathering together of the cattle of
various owners that they might be separated -
rated for shipment Today in the business -
ness world it indicates an inquiry into
the affairs of a firm or corporation and
has really the significance of stock tak-
ing.Thieves
Thieves have a gibberish so extensive
as to almost constitute a language. It is
only understood among themselves and
by policemen , who are forced to acquire
the lnowledp of its meaning. Many of
the terms that have been in use for
I years are really corruptions of the Hebrew -
brew and had their origin among the
"fences" or depots for the reception of
stolen goods in London. This jargon ,
while continued for years , has never obtained -
tained outside of the police and criminal
classes.
"Lost his grip" is a terse , pathetic ,
almost tragic term , conjuring up as it
II does the story of wasted ambition ,
blasted hopes , ruin and despair , in all
probability originated among lodge peo-
ple. A man who had "lost his grip"
was temporarily in a dilemma.
Fro m the minim camPs of the far
west came "struck it rich , " which now
applies to any human success ; "up the
flume , " signifyingfailure ; "hardpan , "
which means a solid paying basis ; "po-
tered out , " which suggests a gradual
decline and final suspension of resources ;
"grubstruck , " for assistance given a
new business enterprise on condition of
a share in perspective orpossible profits.
Bonanza has been a good English word
for 20 years , and the Century dictionary
accepted it along with such words as
"boom , " meaning to manufacture support -
port and enthusiasm , and "squeal , "
meaning to confess and betray compan-
ions.
ions.From the railroad yards came
"switched , " with the meaning of diverted -
verted ; "sidetracked , " for temporary
failure and suspension , the result of outside -
side interference ; "ditched , " as expressing -
ing ruin and collapse , and "wide open"
came from the locomotive , which re.
ferred to the throttle and the extreme
of speed. Now it moans in full swing ,
reckless and regardless of interference.
"Out of sight" is an anachronism , as
it means plainly in sight , and it is
0 owing more and more in favor every
day as a synonym for the superlative in
appearance , accomplishment or perform-
ance. Itwas the balloon soaring toward
the sb-y that was first declared out of
sight , and then came the adaptation of
this new form of expressing altitude
and exemption from competition. For
instance , when Assemblyman Joseph
Cahill appears with his fearfully and
wonderfully plaided trousers , which are
said to have drowned the roar of the
- serf at Manhattan Beach , his admiring
-r constituents tryout : "Get onto Cahill's
pants ! They are out of sight ! "
The race track has given us "cinch , , "
as meaning something settled beyond all
doubt or pemdventnre. A cinch is a
anddle girth t tightened by'the Spanish
method of a complicated knot that will
notcome ; untied. Hence cinch , or sure
all settled , before-
t thing , cinched , or -
leaad. can't loan Babe--Exchange.
CRISPI'S AMBITIONS.
[ ntcresting Situation Made A pparent br the
Premier's Overtures to the Vuticam
The remarkable speech made by Pro.
mier Crispi at Naples the other day has
since been almost the sole topic of con.
oersation among politicians , whose ex-
oiteatent contrasts curiously with the
cemposuro with which ] the aiparent
overtures for a reconciliation between
state and church have been discussed at
the Vatican. The clerical calmness is
due to the fact that the pope annd his
counselors have long been aware of the
desire of the court and the liberal aris-
tocraey and of the great middle class
for a friendly understanding with the
Vatican and of tine gradual conversion
of the redoubtable Crispi himself to the
political necessity for a working arrangement -
rangement between chuch and state.
The spread of ultra revolutionary doe
trines in recent years has greatly alarmed -
ed Crispi , himself an old revolutionist ,
and the various attempts on his own life
have doubtless quickened his hatred of
anarchism. But the main motive attn.
atiug him has been personal and polit-
ital.
ital.There
There is no longer a Crispi party in
the Italian chamber. The present ministerial -
isterial majority is composed of men of
I various shades of political opinion ,
I whose action at any given moment cannot -
not be relied upon. Crispi's aim now is
I undoubtedly the formation of a new
moderate conservative party , but he has
little prospect of success without the
support of the clericals , whoso influence
throughout Italy is enormous. The
Ageuzia Libera Italiana said some time
ago that Crispi , in the coursoof conversation -
sation with friends , said he had three
ambitions in life-the restoration of the
national finances , the re-establishment
of friendly commercial relations with
France and the reconciliation of church
and state. Hostile politicians are doing
their best to thwart the first , but the
second is believed to be within measurable -
able distance. The third depends upon
Crispi's power , desire and courage to
offer the Vatican sufficient inducements
to exercise its influence at the parliamentary -
mentary polls. It is believed that the
Vatican is quite prepared to treat-
Now York Sun Correspondent.
DISCOMFITURE OF A LADY.
Attacked by a Barrel of Cider Wiiilo Pricing -
ing Kindling Wood.
Lewis Matthewson , a young farmer of
Chestnut Hill , drove down to this city
last week with a load of kindling wood
to sell. Before starting out ho went
down cellar and tested u full barrel of
cider. Finding it had a good head on ,
Lewis loaded it on the back end of the
wagon , with the idea that it also could
be sold in the city.
It was a long way to town , the day
was warm , and the sun beat down on
the load with considerable strength.
Farmer Matthewsou had entered the
city and was driving along the street ,
looking outfor kindlingwood customers ,
when a handsomely dressed woman approached -
preached the curb to ask him the price
of the load.
The farmer turned his horse up to the
walk and had just laid down the reins
when an explosion occurred. The bung
of the cider barrel flew out with great
force and , as luck would have it , landed
squarely in the face of the prospective
customer. A stream of cider followed
closely in the wake of the bung. Both
struck her in the month , and there was
a panic. The blow , of course , startled
the woman , and as she opened her
mouth to scream the cider filled it so
quickly as to force the scream back. It
choked the woman so that she nearly
strangled.
The noise of the explosion , the hiss of
the escaping cider and the convulsive
gurgle of the woman combined to
frighten Farmer Matthewson's horse ,
and before the young man knew what
had happened the animal had started to
run. ' Matthewson was thrown to the
ground , the wheels ran over him , and
the horse kept on. Before he stopped the
kindling wood was scattered over two
wards , the wagon was wrecked , and the
ambulance was on its way to take the
young farmer to the hospital. Fortunately -
nately he was not much injured , except
in feelings , and oven these were nothing
compared to the state of mind of .the
woman.-Ansonia ( Conn. ) Letter.
Something Green on the Moon.
Grass grows on the moon. Louis
Gatbmann says he has seen it with his
telescope , but it is all burned up.now ,
just like the grass on the earth.
Mr. Gatbmann , while observing the
moon on the evening of Aug. 12 , was
struck by a peculiar green spot on the
northwestern edge of the satellite's upper -
per limb. At first he thought there was
some obstruction in his telescope that
caused the appearance , but when he allowed -
lowed the moon to pass through the
whole field of the glass the spot vas
still stationary. It was almost rectangular -
gular in form , with a bastionlike projection -
jection at each corner , and was located
near the crater of Tycho Brahe , and
Professor Gathmann estimated that it
was about 40 by 70 miles in area. When
Mr. Gathmann looked for the spot 22
hours later , it was gone. He believes
that it was vegetation.
His theory is that when a hemisphere
of the moon's surface first begins to revolve
volvo into the sunlight the heat of that
luminary draws moisture from the
moon's interior and vegetation springs
np , to be at once withered by the terrific
heat that falls upon the moon when the
sun's rays strike it directly.-Boston
Journal.
The Fashionable Handshake.
The proper fashionable way now to
shake hands , according to the highest
English authorities , is to take hold of
the fingers of one's acquaintance at the
second joint and bestow upon them one
or two decisive little , jerks , as though
testing their strength. That is said to be
the way Wales. shook hands- with
George , the son of day. Perfectly sane
people , -however , still continue to.shake
hands in the usual . way.-Philadelphia
Times
V
i FRANCE AND t.iADAG.ASCAR.
rite Former braking Demands Upon the
Latter Which May Cane a Fight.
France has unquestionably decided
upon another high handed outrage ,
against a weak and helpless country ;
which apparently leas not even as many I
friends as poor Siam. Myra do Vipers
nos gone to Madagascar , practically to
demand the abdication of the government - !
ment and to annex the great and rich
islands to the French domain. It re
mains to be seen if the great powers , including - '
cluding the United States , will permit
the execution of this plan. The instruc-
tious given to the special omissuy were
nominally secret , but there is no doubt
that the outlines given by the govern-
' meat organs in Paris are substantially
correct The following are the chief
points of the demand , with war as the
penalty of refusal : t
The first is the revision of the treaty
of 1885. The next that France's terri
tory at Diego Suarez shall be extended
to Passandano bay , on the western side
of Madagascar , and to Vohemar bay on
the east ; that Majunga and Nossi Be.
I on the west coast , and Fort Dauphin ,
Tamatavo , Manaboudro , Audovoran , to
Foulo Pointo and Mananara , on the eastern -
ern shores , shall , with their adjacent
territories , be ceded to France. Furthermore -
more , that the French residents shall
have the right to control all the actions '
of the Malagasy government , including
its foreign policy and international ad-
'ministration.
Opposition will be offered to what is
I described as the steady invasion by the
Hovasof the territory of the Antakares.
Then Myra do Vilers is to insist that
the French be allowed to acquire prop.
erty in the island instead'of holding it
on long leases. Likewise that they be
I empowered to claim coucessions of
mines , works and so on. Concessions for
which foreigners may apply will only
be granted after examination at the
French residency. The French plenipotentiary -
tentiary was also instructed to demand
full compensation for his countrymen
who have been victims of vexatious
treatment on the part of the Hova gov-
ornment. I
It is assumed , very naturally iu
Paris , that the Malagasy government
will refuse thus to surrender all its powers -
ers and independence to France , and so
preparations are already making for a
naval and military expedition on a large
scale. The plan is to undertake this
patriotic invasion two months hence , at
a moment when , it is now feared , so
cialistic discontent will threaten to assume -
sumo adangerousphaseinParis.-Paris
Letter.
MADEMOISELLE WAS A MAN.
An Interesting Case From France of Successful -
cessful Masquerading as a Woman.
People living in and near Gap , in the !
UPPer AlPs dePartment , were recently I
startled by the sudden metamorphosis of
a fine young woman into a full grown
young man. Mlle. Laure Bernard , 24
years old , had for several years past
very successfully managed an institution
for the cure of stammering in speech.
It appears that begaiemen , or stammering -
, ing , is prevalent in the region , so Mlle.
Bernard was able to make nearly 2 , 000
at it in a few years. This money enabled
her to live independently of her parents ,
who , however , are well off. One of her
brothers recently died in the colonies , ,
where he practiced as a physician. Another -
other is a priest , and she , or rather he ,
for mademoiselle is now monsieur , has
a sister who is a nun. The successful
specialist in stammering cases was registered -
istered at birth as a female child and
grew up in petticoats. Lately , while
studying medicine at Grenoble , Bernard
fell deeply in love , discarded the petticoats
coats , had the birth registration altered
and married the girl who had smitten
him by her charms. The ex-mademoi-
selle was also duly enrolled as a military -
tary conscript and will have to serve in
the contingent for the year 1895.
It is said that Bernard , while passing
as awoman acted the part to perfection ,
so far as wearing the clothes went. His
features , however , were just a trifle
harsh for a damsel , and his voice was
occasionally gruff.-Paris Cor. London
Telegraph.
The Black Geyser of San Felipe.
San Diego county now has a genuine
geyser , about as near a thing to a vol.
cano as is to be found on American soil.
The geyserwas discovered last Wednes
day in the canyon leading from Paul
Santenais' ranch , on the San Felipe
grant , to the Borega springs , and is at
the edgoof the desert. At thatpoint the i
desert wall , or "rim rock , " as it ss
called , is high and abrupt , incloding the
desert like the rim of a tub. San Felipe
canyon cuts through this rim like a i
crevice or crack , which it undoubtedly
is , in what was once a solid wall. The i
canyon is narrow , and the walls in
places are 2,000 feet high.
The geyser was discovered by two '
cattle herders , whowere out looking for
water for their stock , as about this time
of year new springs appear in that re- I
pion. From the top of the canyon one of ;
them dimly saw a spout of water arid' '
climbed down to investigate. Ho got to I
within 100 feet and stopped there. He
did not want to go nearer. The ground
around was boggy and was saturated
with black water. In the center was a
pulsating spring which at irregular periods -
riods spouted a column of black water
into the air from five to seven feet , the
column being about a foot in diameter.
Ho could not or did not ascertain
whether the water was hot or cold. The
overflow filled the floor of the canyon
and rolled on in a black stream down
toward the desert-San Francisco Ex-
aminer.
A Historical Mistake.
In the September Forum Dr. George
F. Shrady says that Dimsdale , a prominent -
nent physician of London , was called to
vaccinate the Empress Catherine II of
Russia in 1762. There must be some
mistake here , for Jenner did not con.
firm his discovery in regard to the protective -
tective value of vaccination until 1796.
New.York Tribnile.
a . .
+
IN THE NAME OF RELIGON. (
Perforr. cruces of a Cang of Free Lovers on
Chiucoteuduo island.
There is a gang ; of tree lovers on Chin-
coteague istaad that lis greatly demoralized -
alized the people and caused no end of
trouble. One man , Thomas Bowden ,
i has recently been killed , and more trou-
I uh is ex nected Joe Lvunb is the leader
of the gang , and many of the ignorant
PeoPle have become histollowers , it is
said that Lynch obtained pcrmissiou
from the authorittie3 of Accomac county
to perform marriage and other ceremonies -
' monies usually pertaining to a minister
of the gospel , and in a short ti : u ho
promulgated doctrinca that have led to
much trouble.
One of thcwo doctrines-and the ono
productive cf the most trouble-is that
each member of the band is to select a
"watchman , " the Man to choose a worn -
tan , and vice versa. The couples meet
alone together to study Scripture and
" " "meditations"
"meditate. As these
frequently last nearly all night , and
the "twos" seldom being man andwife ,
there is considerable objection to the
"meditating"especially when a "sanc-
tified" wife of an "uusunctifned" man
meditate : until 2 or a. m. with one of
the brethren. Nor do the unsauctifned
wives feel a sufficient confidence in their
"sanctified" hrusbands to sit contentedly
at home knowing that they arc meditating -
ing and talking Scripture with another
woman who is perhaps younger and
prettier. Lynch has given it out that
all persons who are married according
to legal form or by an "unsanctifed"
minister are in 'the eyes of God guilty
of breaking the seventh commandment
and that the children of such unions are
illegitimate. These are a few of the
teachings of this fanatic , all of them
being on a parwith the instances given.
The lamentable feature of the case is
that Lynch's followers believe him and
are energetic in making prtselytes. A
branch "church" was started at Wil-
liamsvillo , Del. , and quito a number
have embraced the "sanctiled" idea. A
few believers also live at Box Iron , in
this county , a small hamlet near the
Sinepuxent bay and near Chincoteague.
An astonishing feature about these peo-
pie is the readiness with which they
quote Scripture and point out how sinful -
ful every ono except the "sanctified"
are. To do this they display much skill
in taking scraps of the truth and severing -
ing them from the context to excuse the
excesses committed by themselves. The
citizens of Chincoteague have got a
white elephant on their hands that they
would like very snuck to be rid of , and
this desire has only been strengthened
by the killing of Bowdon.-Richmond
State
WILL IT COME TO PASS
That the Navies of the United States and
of Great Britain Will Combine ?
The United States resembles Great
Britain in not being obliged tomaintain
a disproportionately large standing
army. It resembles it also in having a
great number of sonswho have a peculiar -
iar aptitude for the sea life. It is therefore -
fore in the utilization of sea power in
its various aspects that the two couu-
tries may best co-operate and assist one
another in the future.
If they were to come , as they surely
will come , to an understanding to employ -
ploy their combined naval forces for the
preservation of general peace and for
the forwarding of the common interests ,
few countries , no matter how belligerently -
ently inclined , would care to defy the
alliance even now , and nonewould dare
.to question its will after it had rearranged -
ranged its forces in frank recognition of
all its responsibilities. It is not merely
that the combined navies would be
strong.
Far more weighty are the considerations -
tions that the British empire and the
United States share between them nearly -
ly all the work of providing other countries -
tries with the food , raw material and
manufactures which those countries
cannot provide at home , and of carrying
the ocean borne trade of the world. The
interests of your over growing commerce
require the maintenance , if not of peace ,
at least of open ports everywhere. Why
should not your combined navies deClare -
Clare , "We refuse henceforth to acknowledge -
knowledge the right of any civilized
power to close her ports or the ports of
another power by blockade or otherwise -
wise ? " Surely that would sound the
knell of war.-Fortnightly Review.
Philadelphia's Only Live Democrat.
Richard Vanx is decidedly the most
picturesque figure of vigorous old age
now left in Philadelphiaandalways excites -
cites a lively interest in the passersby on
his regular walks from the railroad station -
tion to his down town office , for ho
never rides in carriages or street cars
Recently an old time acquaintance met
him on the street with congratulations
upon his hearty appearance and re
marked that he was glad to see him so
full of life. "Life , life ! " exclaimed
Vaux , raising his arm toward the old
United States bank building. "Why ,
don't you knrow I am the only living
Democrat left in Philadelphia ? All the
others are dead , dead ! " And ho resumed
his walk thoughtfully westward.-Phil-
adelphia Letter.
Pauncefote's Promotion.
The rumor is that Sir JulianPaunce-
fete is to be "promoted" in the English
diplomatic service from the United
States to Turkey. To simple children of
'the land of the free it seems strange to
think that Constantinople can possibly
mean promotion above Washington.
Bat to the wise who know that diplomacy -
plomacy is greater than its social glitter
the complex interests of eastern nations
reveal a greater chance for a diplomat's
genius than the peaceable opportunities
of the District of Columbia.-Boston
Transcript
Lindley Marray'a Birthplce.
The house , a four room log cabin , in
which Lindley Murray , the grammarian -
rian , was born is still standing , on'the
bank of the Swatara river , 12 miles
south of Harrisburg. ItwasbalIt by his
father in 1730.
_ _
t - -
.a-
- A "CHRIST'S HEAD ; '
do Ohio Photographer and Ilis 1IodeI
Have Created a Sensation.
The good , bad and indifferent people
of New London , 0. , are alike greatly
, exercised o : er the display of a series of
I "Christ's Head" photographs justcopy-
righted by Photographer H. W. Minus
of this city for which a somewhat
eccentric schoolteacher named Elmer
Ellsworth Mastermun posed. fomo of
the more sensitive and piously inclined
declare themselves as inexpressibly
shocked that any human being , especially -
ly one of their own neighbors , should
have posed for so sacred a subject Others -
ers defend the photographer and his
model on the broad and liberal ground
of art and artistic effect.
Masterman , the subject , is a Mason
and au Odd Fellow and has a striking
personality. He is tall , spare , angular
and awkward in his movements. His
long red , shaggy , flowing hair and red
unkempt whiskers , beard and tnustacho
give him a leonine appearance. Ho is
32 years old , single and lives upon his
father's farm on the outskirts of New
London. His father is a German and
his mother an Ohioan : His brother is
cash ier of the Gibsonburg bank. During
the World's fair Masterman had charge
of the waterfowl exhibit and contracted
a severe cold. By the advice of his
physician last September ho let his short
hair and beard grow in order to avoid
pulmonary troubles.
"Had you any sorup'.es or compunction -
tion in posing for so sacred a subject as
the Saviour ? " Masterman was asked.
"No. Why should I ? What is the
difference between posing for a photograph -
graph and posing for a painting ? The
paintings of the great masters arc looked
upoawith admiration and pleasure , and
no questions are asked as to who posed. ;
Why should I be so criticised and perso-
cnted because I chose to pose as Christ
in the pictures which have raised this
storm ? I felt perfectly [ roe in doing so
and care nothing for the criticisms of
men. I feel that if the act was sacrilegious -
gious Christ and the Almighty would
not have led me to suck success. I was
urged by Protestants and Catholics to
pose for the subject , bur to first suggestion -
gostion came from a Jew. If it was such
an awful thing to do , I think that the
Almighty would have prevented it " -
New York Sun.
COMMUNION FOR ONE.
Growth of the Sentiment In Favor of In
dividual Chalices.
J. W. Davis , deacon of the Fourth
Baptist church of Philadelphia , was in
the city yesterday tooee theworkings of
the individual communion cup services
at North Baptist church. Tlie fourth
church of Philadelphia is one of the eldest -
est in the Quaker City , and when the
news of the innovation in church ens-
tom reached the members they at once
became interested and decided that if
it was such a good thing as reported
it was necessary for them to have '
it. Dr. Andrews , a prominent member '
of the Fifth Baptist church of Philadelphia -
phia , made an analysis of the dregs in
the communion cups and discovered
microbes and disease germs to be plen-
tiful. He was convinced that a change
from the old system was necessary and
in a conversation with Mr. Davis said : i
" The iudivideal cup idea is a most
excellent one , and it is surprising to
me that the Christian church has not
taken it up before. Since the innovation
has been introduced it will become in-
teruatioual in its scope , and hardly a
civilized nation in the world will ho
without it It is a wonder to me that
the physicians of the country did not
recommend this before to the people , for 1
the old system is an evil that should be
corrected. "
The Fourth Baptist church is not
i
only the first church to take up the
movement in Philadelphia , but also in
Pennsylvania. A paper which is pub.
lished in the church has contained several -
eral columns on the subject , including
all that was in the Rochester , Now
York and other papers. Many of the
people in the congregation have grown
enthusiastic on the subject , and the feeling -
ing became so strong in favor of it that
early in the summer they decided to
hav o o ne of th o deacons come to this
city to investigate the system. Deacon
Davis was selected because ho was one
of the most conservative membersof the
church and had not been carried away
with the reports of the innovation. Ho
came hero to criticise the matter , but
he is highly pleased with what ho saw
yesterday morning.-Rochester Herald.
Plates Made Out of Stamps.
Tllowriterhad hoardof stamp plates ,
but had never seen any before yester-
day. There were six on exhibition at
the fair-white porcelain plates , with
scalloped , lacelike edges. Stamps had
been dissected and applied to these in
all sorts of ingenious devices. Sometimes -
times the heads of 2 cent stamps ware !
placed in a circle around the center ,
with little flourishes between made of
the numbers , while the bordering of the
stamps made spraylike decorations.
Stamps of all denominations were used
and of all colors , but so cleverly were
they managed that considerable examination -
nation was necessary to recognize the
component parts of the familiar stamps.
These plates must be a great deal of
work to do , and they look as if water ,
would ruin them , buttheyareingcnious
and pretty.-Worcester Spy.
Cigarettes Weil Placed.
The keeper of the monkey house in
the Jardin des Plantes , at Paris , has for
some days past been puzzled by seeing
his monkeys smoking cigarettes. The
wits of Paris declare that some learned
professors were just about to issue an
exhaustive paper on the subject of monkeys -
keys and tobacco from the earliest
times , when the keeper solved the mys-
tery. He lay in wait near the cage and
at last caught some boys , who had
taught the monkeys to smoke and.came
every day to give them lighted ciga
rotten. The boys have been taken to the
police station , and the professors' studies
have been relegated to the waste paper
baaket-London Globe.
-
VS
-ETHICS OF THE REGISTER.
What Hotel People Itave to Say About Ti- ,
ties and Degrees.
For a man to take a lady to dine at a
hotel and "Mr. So-and-so
register as - - and
lady" is considered the height of igno-
rancebyltotelclerks. The proper way is
to register both names , or , if themau is
sensitive , to write "Mr. So-and-so nmd
ono. " This is sometimes done , but not
very often. To use "and lady" is bad
form in this generation , when it conics
to hotel registers , for obvious reasons.
j But this is not the only eviIeuco of bad
form whioh is seen on the register.
When a man pens Mr. before his canna
he is judged as boingegotistical , atul no
professional man will put Dr. or Prof.
before his name if ho desirc to avoid
the clerk's anathemas.
Many city people exhibit their ignorance -
ranco of good breeding bygoing to a lo-
cal hotel anal giving the number and
street of their residence. A notable instance -
stance of this is a well known jewoler.
who , when ho puts his ] laud on a register -
ter , which is frequent , invariably puts
his business address after it. To put
Hon. , Gen. , Capt. or any other title before -
fore a man's name on a hotel register is
as bad as Prof. or Dr.-in fact , it is
looked upon as worse by all good hotel
mcn.
mcn.The only exception to the above is in
case of theatrical people , who put the
name of their company after their
names ; All professional stage people get
reduced rates at hostelries in nearly every -
ery instance , and for thorn to put the
names of their troops on the book is a
good thing for the hotel people. It goes
to show that the person thus registering
is not afraid of being questioned as to
his connection with a company and is
not trying to get lower rates in a surreptitious -
roptitious manner. It is also in the case
of theatrical pcoplo that there may be a
permissible violation of the rules in regard -
gard to putting Mr. before tim name.
Many stars do not register , but allow
some one else to do it for therm , generally -
ly the manager. In order to show all
possible deference to his proteges , the
manager generally puts Mr. before the
names of the mea. In the cases of ladies
it is invariably proper for therm to put
Miss or Mrs. , as the case may be , in
front of their names.-New York Dis-
patch.
The Dog Man Escaped.
She was standing on her front steps
on Hastings street tolling two or three
women how it happened. ilie waved a
broom about her head and said :
"I was in the back bedroom up stairs ,
making up the bed. My husband was
down in the kitchen , heating a sticking
plaster for his sore heel. Our dog was
sitting on the curbstone right out there.
Suddenly I boars a ramble on the cobblestones -
blestones , and I takes it for a funeral
procession and goes ahead and turns
over the mattress on the bed. Then I
hears the children whooping , but I
thought they had a goat. Then comes a
squeak , and a howl , and a bang , and I
runs to the window to see the dog wagon -
on driving off and my dog gone. "
"And you screamed ? " queried one of
the women.
"I did. Iscreamed outand seized the
club I've been keepingfor the dogm an.
As I rushed down stairs my husband
rushed up , and we collided and rolled
down into the kitchen and under the table -
ble , and ho called me names , and I
thumped him , and before I could got
out the dog man was Bono , and with
him the blessedest dog that Detroitwill
ever know.Detroit Free Press.
Well Done.
One of the most unique specimens of
the courting crisis on record occurred at
a London dinner party. Ho had long
made love to bar , andwhilo at the table
ho learned from a friend sitting nest to
him that his rival intended to "pop the
question" that very day. What was to
be done ? Ho was some distance from
her , while the dreaded rival was at her
side. Tearing a leaf from a notebook , ho
wrote onitwith a pencil : "Will you be
mywife ? Write your answer , yes or no ,
on this paper and return it to me. "
This ho sent to her by a waiter , saying :
"To the lady in blue at the end of the
table. Be very careful. " This servant
was careful enough , but the sender forgot -
got to give him the pencil for the lady
to use. She didn't have a pencil , but
she coolly put the note into her bosom
and answered to the waiter , "Tell the
gentleman yes , " with as little betrayal
of excitement as if she were accepting
an invitation to a game of croquet-
London World.
Love Laughs at Doctors.
A young man wanted to marry a girl ,
but her rich parents forbade the match.
The young man thereupon became sick
and had terrible fainting fits. The doctors -
tors wore called and said he would soon
die , and he said ho wanted to die- The
father of the girl visited the patient ,
and the poor fellow said that if ho could
marry his Mary Ann he would die ,
happy. His dying request could certainly -
ly not be refused , and , Mary Ann having -
ing no objection , the minister was sent
for , and the marriage ceremony was
performed. The knot being securely
tied , the patient rose from his bed a
halo man.
It was a great cure , astonishing both
the cruel parents and the doctors , but
the bride acted as though she had expected -
pected it all the time.-Londou Tit-Bits.
Absentminded.
Benson-I have a literary friend who
i3 so absentminded that , when he went
to London recently , he telegraphed himself -
self ahead to wait for himself at a cer-
taro place.
Smith-Did the telegram have the
desired result ?
"No ; he got it all right , but he had
forgotten to sign his name , and not
knowing who it was from-he paid no
attention to -Pearson's Weekly.
Coffee planting was formerly the
most important siligle industry of Cey-
lon. Now tea is-the leading article-of
export , having risen-from 2 , 000 worth
in 1878 to over 1,000,000two years "
aim t
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