The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, September 02, 1892, Image 3

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    j OO LATE.
She lies AO tlll the livelong day ,
She doth not move or speak ;
The roses long have died away
Upon her dainty cheek.
I spoke her harshly ycstcnnorn
Her agonlzod surprise.
It haunts mo now and for my scorn
The lovellght In her eyes J
And now each bitter word I said
, Accentuates my pain
' Each taunt I leveled at the dead
Has burnt into my brain.
Who Is the -wiser ! I , whoso feet
Must tread an earthly hell ?
' Or she 'who hears that welcome sweet.
"Fair spirit , all Iswell ? "
Though God forgive mo in his grace ,
When I have "crosaed the bar , "
When I shall meet her face to face
Beyond the morning star.
I dnro not think that even there ,
Within the gates of gold ,
My soul will show to her as fair
As in the days of old.
The dear dead days of long ago ,
Whoso tale was told above ,
When in our hearts wo felt the glow ,
The rosy dawn of love !
Public Opinion.
A HUMORIST.
There was a somnolent influence-
iao air 01 mac omiiorary. The light
from without was dul'ed by the dusty
window panes , and when the double
doora swung shut the heavy bumming
of city life scorned to recede. The
librarian , pretty , plump and middle-
aged , placidly crocheted and read an
evening1 paper. A bunch of violets
on the low desk before her diffused a
faint odor and a small clock kept up
a. feeble tick-take , as if conscious that
time was a topic scarcely worth men
tioning there.
It was a spacious room , furnished
with many bookcases , and in the con-
irealarge , round table strewn with per
iodicals. Hero and there on pedestals
wore aged-grimed busts , in plaster
of .Paris , of Cicero. Livy. Aristotle ,
and other classic molders of thought
These ancients had the place pretty
much to themselves. It wns a day in
late autumn , but mild , as late autumn
days in .New Orleans are likely to bo.
A window was open , and although
my eyes and mind were lixed upon
the page before mo. I hoard in a
sub-conscious sort of way. a fig
tree scratching itself against the wall
and the squabbling twitter of some
sparrows. My thoughts were brought
to a sudden standstill by the fall of a
heavy book almost at my feet , and a
quavering voice said : -Excuse me ; I
ask a thousand pardons. "
The apologist was an old main with
a face wonderfully seamed and
wrinkled. Ho had a sunken mouth ,
a silvery stubble on hU chin , and
cottofly white hair like the virtuous
grandfathers on the stage : but there
was a bright blue gleam in his eyes
beneath their shaggy eyebrows.
With a depreciating , toothless smile
he tiptoed away over the polished
floor as if dreading the noise a down
right footstep would make in that
vast echoing room , rubbing his
withered hands nervously together and
shaking his head with a palsied
motion.
After that I often noticed him in
the library. He would sit at the
table reading for hours , and scribbling
in a small notebook with a tremulous
hand , that seemed scarcely capable
ol forming Ine characters , frequently
I saw him glancing through the
humorous periodicals ; but his un
smiling gravity , meanwhile did not
suggest appreciation.
Moved by curiosity. I questioned
the librarian about him.
That old gentleman ? " she said ,
with the smile that was always ready
to appear upon her pleasant face ,
his name is Middle wick. Joshua
Middlewick. He's a regular visitor
quite a feature of the place. "
Then you know nothing about him
outside of the library ? "
"Oh. no ! I don't know anything at
all about him. except what he told
me himself one day. It happened he
caught his coat pocket on a chair
the cloth was so thin that I don't see
how it held together and tore it ; so
I offered to mend it for the poor old
gentleman. While I was at work he
told mo his name , and that ho is a
writer a contributor to" hero she
mentioned several well known humor
ous weeklies published in New York.
i know it is really so. for he brought
me a paper and showed me his initials
at the end of one of the pieces. "
"I should think his jests would be
rather archaic. " I said.
Well I can't say. I don't care
much for that kind of reading. But
the old gentleman is a great scholar ,
too. " she added , -it's as easy for
him to read Greek and Latin as it is
for me to read this paper. The books
he reads are mostly from that case
near the door old , old books they
are you see. I suppose he likes them
because he's so old himself. "
After a few more remarks I moved
away. I think the librarian was re
luctant to part with me. There were
so many hours that she had to keep
company with silence.
A professional humorist ! I could
scarcely fancy the old man. with his
tottering walk and threadbare , well-
brnsnea ciotnes in mat caaracier.
The thought occurred to me that an
impulse of senile vanity might have
moved him to take advantage of a
similarity of initials , in order to daz
zle the librarian with the idea that ho
was a literary success. He had the
forlorn , half-bewildered look of aged
poverty that finds itself still obliged
to keep up the struggle for a living.
The vocation of a humorist seemed to
hang upon him as incongruously as a
cheap , ready-made coat upon the
shoulders of a skeleton. But perhaps
ho was merely one of those who drain
their private lives of mirth to supply
the publio demand , sad through the
perpetual necessity of being funny.
When I looked up some of the quips
signed vl. M. " it was a surprise to
find them not only sprightly , but thor
oughly modern In tone. I 'felt an increase -
crease of respect for the old man.
One afternoon I took advantage of
my position as a privileged visitor to
the library to rummage among Mr.
Middlowiok's favorite works. Queer
old books they were some of them
exceedingly rare , and all with bind
ings much the worse for years. The
louvfe 5 were sallow with ago and ex
haled n musty odor ; and as I opened
volumu after volume , and scanned
page after pnge , a revelation broke
upon me. I had found the source of
Mr. Middle-wick's wit The hoary
rogue dug up his jests out of antiqUity
and meanwhile studied the comic
papers to catch the contemporaneous
tone. As 1 am no pro esaional un-
masker of villiana. and the old man's
trickeries had injured mo in no wise , I
could afford to admire his industry
and the ingenuity with which ho man
aged to give a modern twist to humor
almost prehistoric. Ho was no com
mon plagiarist Ho "conveyed" with
genius and know how to furbish up
his stolen goods so that they wore not
recognizable to the general public as
another man's property.
"Well well ! " I mused "no doubt
the poor old fellow needs money badly
enough , and if 'to select well among
old things is almost equal to inventing
now one& ' he's not so far in the
wrong. "
It struck me that Mr. Middlewick
was an old gentleman who would bear
watching.
Not long after my discovery I
chanced to leave the library just as
ho was goinff down the long stone
stairway which led to the street ; and
I could not resist the- temptation to
follow him. It was a bleak , damp
day. with a querulous wind that
whined around the street corners and
plucked at the leafless branches of
the tallow trees in the square.
1 noticed how Innklv the olfl mnn'a
threadbare overcoat flapped about his
shrunken form. There was no great
difficulty in keeping pace with one
whoso gait was so slow and feeble.
On and on ho wont , down Camp
street , across to Canal to Royal , till
at last he turned into a narrow street
of the French quarter.
It was a street of poor people. The
pavement was littered with scraps of
paper and oyster shells , and a tattered
child was angling for craw-fish in the
turbid gutter. A man and woman
exchanged choice oaths in Italian
from opposite windows. From one of
the dwellings could bo heard the
regular cadence of rockers on an uncarpeted -
carpeted floor , while a husky voice
sang :
"Dodo Ninette ,
Trois picatlloiis du lait
Pou' Jjclie quf vo fairc dodo
Pou' sa mere cherte. "
Mr. Middlewick entered a small ,
one-story nouse witn Batten shutters
and a roof of Spanish tiles. The door
sill had almost rotted away , and the
panes were cracked and broken , the
lower half of the window being
curtained with dingy calico. The
room within , with its discolored walls
and scanty furniture , had the cheer
less , unhomehke look of a place where
no womanly influence is at work.
Upon the bare boards sat a child
playing contentedly with a headless
wooden horse and the handle of a
hearthbrush.
He jumped up when the old man
came in.
"Granpa's got some pretty pictures
for vou. Jimmy. " said Mr. Middle
wick ; giving the child some colored
advertising cards. "I shouldn't
wonder either , " he added , with a
feeble chuckle. "If thero'd be a nice
present for a good boy's birthday. "
An' I'm a good boy , gran'pa , "
eaid Jimmy , earnestly , looking up
with eyes that were two blue flowers.
"That you are that you are ,
Jimmy ! " cried the professional
humorist , hugging his grandson close
in his withered arms. J.K. Wetherell.
in New Orleans Times-Democrat
.TZiles of Different Nations.
The Irish mile is 2.240 yards.
The Swiss mile is 9,156 yards.
The Italian mile is 1,766 yards.
The Scotch mile is 1.984 yards.
The German mile is 8,106 yards.
The Arabian mile is 2,143 yards.
The Turkish mile is 1,826 yards.
The Flemish mile is 6,896 yards.
The Vienna post mile is 8 , 296 yards.
The Werst mile is 1.168 or 1,337
yards.
The Roman mile is 1 , 628 or 2.502
yards.
The Dutch and. Prussian mile is 6-
480 yards.
The Sweedish and Danish mile is
7,315.5 yards.
The English and American mile is
1,706 yards. Fact
The Red Color.
We find from old medical pre
scriptions that our ancestors con
sidered that there was "much virtue
in your" red. A Saxon apothecary
ordered for headache the herVcross-
wort , put on a red fillet , and bound
around the head. For the healing of
a lunatic , you are recommended to
-take clover-wart and
wreathe it with
a red thread about the man's swere
( neck ) when the moon is on the wane ,
in the month which is called April.
Soon he will be healed. "
Birthplace of Schiller.
The mothers of Schiller and Kepler
have received memorials in Leonberg ,
the native town of both. The town
council of the "Town of Mothers , "
as it proudly calls itself , has affixed
tablets to the walls of the old castle
of Duke Ulrich , the well-beloved ,
where the magna charta of Wurtem-
berg liberties was signed by the duke ,
in honor of the poet and the astron
omer.
A Saxon Invention.
Mince pie is emphatically a New
England institution , but it is a Saxon
invention. Before their conversion
to Christianity they used to make a
stew or porridge consisting of every
thing held sacred to their gods , as
the flesh of birds , animals , grains and
dried herbs which had been gathered
at the full of the moon.
> ,
TO AGENTS.
Homeseekers' excursions ,
1892 , on August 30 and Septem
ber 17th , a rate of one lowest
first class fair will be made from
eastern points to points on our
line for two homeseekers' ex
cursions. These tickets will
be sold at all the principal rail
way points as far east as
Buffalo and Pittsburg. Tick
ets will be good within twenty
days from the date of sale and
stop overs will be allowed after
passing the Missouri river. It
is expected that there will be
quite a large immigration of
intending settlers to Nebras
ka , northwestern Kansas and
eastern Colorado , during this
summer and fall. This immi
gration can be very largely in
creased bv iudicious advertis
ing and work by the various
communities tributary to our
line. 'It is therefor suggested
that sections proposing to pre
pare such advertising matter
for distribution in the east in
regard to the inducements
they have to offer the farmer ,
the business man and investor ,
should begin to get their ad
vertising in shape at as an
early a date as possible. In
case their plans contemplate
sending a good advertising
man to distribute their matter
and attend to their advertising
generally , this departmentmay
be able to give valuable point
ers as to the best method of
doing the work.
I think it is desirable that
editors of the papers along
our line should begin agitating
the matter in order that the
people may be prompted to do
more or less individual work
with their friends in the east
in the way of sending by mail
such matter as the different
counties or districts may pre
pare in pamphlet form or in
the shape of extra editions of
their home newspapers giving
full information as to the re
sources and advantages , and
directing attention to the very
low rates that will be made to
enable them to come and see
for themselves that the repre
sentations are not really up to
the reality.
The company has recently
issued a pamphlet in regard
to the agricultural resources
of Nebraska , which will be
furnished free to those who
may desire to mail it to their
friends in the east. This
pamphlet treats of Nebraska ,
northwestern Kansas and
eastern Colorado. I wish you
would present this matter to
editors at your place and also
to other parties who may be
interested in settling up va
cant farm lands of this state.
J. FKANCIS , Gr. P. and T. A. ,
Omaha , Nebraska.
EFFECTS OF HEAT.
The expense as well as the impossibil
ity of leaving one's business makes it
entirely out of the question for many
people to take a vacation , however bad
they may need it. In all cases , where
one can afford it , a vacation is probably
preferable to tonics ; but for the tens of
thousands who can take no rest the
brain and nerve tonic of modern medical
science is an indispensable safeguard.
Nothing that is known to the medical
profession to-day is the equal of Pe-ru-
na in ths cure or prevention of all de-
rangedments due to hot weather. Pe-
ru-na gives new vigor to the brain ,
strength and quiet to the'weakened
nerves , and as nearly supplies the need
of a vacation to the overworked man or
woman as it is possible for any remedy
to do. Pe-ru-na is a reliable specific
for nervous prostration , nerve exhaus
tion , sleeplessness , and chronic malaria.
The Pe-ru-na Drug Manufacturing
Comp'any of Columbus , Ohio , publish
the Family Physician No. 1 , devoted to
the "treatment of malaria , diarrhoea ,
cholera morbus , and other diseases of
hot weather , which they will send free
to any address.
Children Cry for Pitcher V Castoria.
What is
Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infanta
and Children. It contains neither Opium , Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance. It is a harmless substitute
for Paregoric , Drops , Soothing : Syrups , and Castor Oil.
It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by
Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays
feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting : Sour Curd ,
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieve *
teething troubles , cures constipation and flatulency.
Castoria assimilates the food , regulates the stomach
and bowels , giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas
toria is the Children's Panacea the Mother's Friend *
Castoria.
M Oastoria Is an excellent medicine for chil
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me of its
good effect upon their children. "
Da. Q. C. Osaooo ,
Lowell , Mais ,
M Castoria is the best remedy tor children of
which I am acquainted. I hope the day Is cot
far distant when mothers trill consider the real
Interest of their children , and use Castoria in-
ttead of thovariousquacknostrumawhlchare
destroying their loved ones , by forcing opium ,
morphine , soothing syrup and other hurtful
agents down their throats , thereby sending
them to premature grires. "
, Da. J. F. KTNCHELOE ,
Conway , Ark.
Castoria.
44 Castoria is so troll adapted to children that
I recommend it as superior to any prescription
known to me. "
IL A. ABCBZR , M. D. ,
Ill So. Oxford St. Brooklyn , N. Y.
" Our physicians in the children's depart
ment have spoken highly of their experi
ence In their outside practice with Castoria ,
and although/ only have among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
prodncuJ , yet wo are free to confess that ths
meritt of Castoria has won us to look with
favor upon It. "
TJtfrncD HOSPITAL AND DISPSMSABT ,
Boston , U&SL
O. SMITH. Pret. .
The Centaur Company , TT Murray Street , Now York City.
GEO. J. BURGESS ,
Dealer in All Kinds of First-Class
Machinery
Wagons , Road Carts , Buggies.
A Square Deal. The Best are the Cheapest.
COME AND SEE ME.
Yard West of First National Hank , McCOOK , NEB
TALES FROM
TOWN TOPICS.
Orl year of the most successful Quarterly
* Ct vl ever published.
More than U.OOO LEADING NEWS *
PAPERS in North America have complimented
this publication during its first year , and uni
versally concede tint its numbers a/lord th :
brightest and most entertaining reading that
can be had.
Published ist day of September , December ,
March and Tune.
Asle Newsdealer for it , or send the price ,
5O cents * in stamps or postal note to
TOWN TOPICS ,
21 West 23d St. , New York.
VST This brilliant Quarterly is not made up
from the current years issues Of TOWN TOPICS ,
but contains the best stories , sketches , bur
lesques , poems , witticisms , etc. , from the back
numttrt of that unique journal , admittedly
the crispest , raciest , most complete , and to ail
MEN AND WOMEN the most interesting -
ing weekly ever issued.
Subscription Price :
Tcwa Topics , per year , - -Sl.CO
Tale : Frsa Town Toplsi , pcrjear , 2.00
ffka two clnWsS , - . - C.OO
TOWN Tories seat 3 months on trial for
81.00.
N. B. Previous Nos. of "TALKS" will tx ;
promptly forwarded , postpaid , on receipt of
DO cents each.
THE MILD POWER'CUR'ES.
HUMPH
Dr. Humphrey * ' gprclflrnaroficlomUicnllyanfJ
carefully prepared HcmedleB , upt-il for icuin lu
private practice anil for over thirty } earn by the
people with cntiru succew. Every rl slo fepcclflo
a special euro for the rthcnse iian.od.
Ttiuycure without tlrusultin. purgl UK or reducing
tliesystcin.nixl are In fact an J ( a.i'utlicb'overclgu
lloincilluii of Iliu XVorld.
LIST or FUUBEES. CURC1. rCICH.
1 Fevers , Congestion * . Inflammations. .25
2 Wormn , 'Worm Fever , Worm Colic. . . . { 25
3 Teething ; Colic , Crj Inc. Wafcefuluos , U5
4 Diarrhea , of Children or Adults . 25
5 J > yscnteryGriplu ? . Elliotts Colic. , 2S
G Cholera Morbus , Vomiting . 25
7 Coughs , Colds. Bronchitis. . 125
8 Neuralgia , Toothucho. Faccachu . 123
O Headaches , Sick Headache. Vertigo. .U5
10 DyHpopsia , Biliousness. Constipation .25
11 SupprcHHCtI or Painful Periods. .25
12 Whites , TOD Profuse 1'crlods . 25
13 Croup , IjiiryndriM , Hoarseness . 25
14-SnIt Hheum , Erysipelas. Eruptions. .25
15 JMiounmtixm.or Ithcuniatlcl'aliu. . .25
JG Malaria , Chills. Fe % er and Ague . 25
17-PIIesBllnd orBlcedlnf ? . 25
18-OphtlmIniy , Sere or Weak Eyes . 25
10 Catarrh , Influenza , Coldlnthellcad .25
20-\Vlioopintr COUBU . 25
21 Asthma , Oppressed Breathing . 25
22 Ear Discharges , Impaired Hearing .25
23 Scrofula , Enlarged Glands. Swelling .25
24 ( Jeneral Debility , Physical Weakness .25
25 Dropsy , and Scanty Secretions . 25
aJ Sen-Sickness , SIclaiess from Riding .25
27-Kidncy Diseases . 25
a ! ) Sere Mouth , or Canker . 25
no-Urinary Weakness , WettlngBcd. . .25
31-I'aIuful Periods . 25
34 Diphtheria , Ulcerated Sere Throat. . .25
35 Chroulc ConzcHtlons & Eruptions. .25
EXTHA N0MBEBS :
SS NcrvoiiH Debility , Seminal Weak
ness , or Involuntary Discharges. . . .1.00
32 Disease8oftlieHeartPalpltatIoul.OO
33 Epilepsy , Spasms , St. Vltus' Dance. . .I.OO
Sold by Drnggtiti , or sent polt-i IJ on rerript of price.
PR. IIi'MpiiUKTB' MANUAL (111 ( t"iS' " , ) XAILXU ruse.
lICBI'lIIthlS' 3IED.C0. , J 1 1 A 1 13 William St. . Jew York.
HUMPHREYS'
WITCH HAZEL OIL
"THE PILE OINTMENT. "
For Piles External or Internal , Blind or Blooding :
Fistula In Ano : Itching or Bleeding of the Itectum.
The relief Is Immediate the cure certain.
PEIOE , 50 CTS. TRIAL SIZE. 25 OTS.
SolJ by Druggists , or eeut post-paid oil receipt of price.
uraniums'MEU.CO. , in t = us mman St. , JIKIT YORK
Incorporated under State Laws.
Paid Up Capital , $5OOOO
DOES A-
nera lilQiripQQ
Collections made on all accessible points. Drafts draTTn
directly on principal cities in Europe , Taxes
paid for non-residents.
i Tickets For Sale to and from Europe
OFFICERS :
V. FKANKLiN , President. JOHN K. CLAKK , Vice Pres.
A. C. EBERT , Cashier.
CORRESPONDENTS :
The First National ASank , Lincoln Nebrska.
The Chemical National Bank , New York City.
toua. an
/ sev *
AUTHORIZED CAPITAL , CAPITAL AND SURPLUS ,
$100.000. $60,000.
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
GEORGE HOCKNELL , President. B. M. FREES , Vice President. Iff. F. LAWSON , Cashier.
A. CAMPBELL. FRANK HARRIS.
THE McCOOK ROLLER MILLS
E. H. DOAN , PROPRIETOR.
Is Now Open and Ready for Business ,
JSgr" ! am prepared to handle all business in my
line promptly and with the most approved machinery.
DOAKT& HART
are also prepared to handle wheat for which they are
paying the highest market price.
and Elevator on 'East Eailroad street.
Say That You Saw it in The Tribune.
* rL