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About The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936 | View Entire Issue (July 10, 1891)
'August ' Flower" Mr. Lorenzo F. Sleeper is very xvell known to the citizens of Appleton - ton , Me. , and neighborhood. He says : " Eight years ago I was taken " sick , and suffered as no one but a " dyspeptic can. I then began taking - " ing August Flower. At that time "I was a great sufferer. Everything - " thing I aj.e distressed me so that I 4'had to thro wit up. Then in a " few moments that horrid distress " would come on and I would have " to eat and suffer For that "again. I took a "little of your niecl- Horrid ' ' iciue , and felt much Stomach "better , and after " taking a little more Feeling. ' ' August Flower my "Dyspepsia disap- ' "peared , and since that time I 1' have never had the first sign of it. "I can'eat anything without the "least fear of distress. I wish all " that are afflicted with that terrible "disease or the troubles caused by "it would try August Flower , as I "am satisfied there is no medicine "equal to it. " ® Clean as a whistle everything that is cleaned with Pearline. It takes away all that you want " "taken , and leaves fresh and pure all that you\vantleft. Itcleans house with half the work ; it does your washing while you wait. Pearline is a harmless powder. It is hard to waste it , easy to use it , but difficult to do with out it. Hcw = rc of imi'ations. 109 JAMES I'YLE , N.Y. IF : sroiY Go to your Druggist , hand him one dollar , tell him you want a bottle of . . . . The BEST MEDICINE known for the CURE of All Diseases of the Liver , All Diseases of tiie Stomach , All Diseases of the Kidneys , All Diseases of the Bowels. PURIFIES THE BLOOD , CLEANSES THE SYSTEM , Restores Perfect Health. EDUCATIONAL. _ . xxxv v > 'Vrf'VXxy x-vxx > * xx v. Seminary and Conservatory at Mt. Carroll , 111 In Sl'tli yr. under s-ame I'rcst Location delight ful , healLbful , easy of acccti. Send for Oread , free J < atrs and DCSSdJlSIC Kiperlcnce 26 Advice Iree. r SLClwBURw years. Write us. A. . JietOliallX * . SONS , Unclnnill , 0. 4. Mlihlnglou , D. C. D RCKTC make 100 PER CENT. Profit , on my Cornets n UbR I ieltttoi < j > < - > , e"urlcn..fcmediciMC5. Sam- HplesfBEE. Writenow. Ir. Bridgman,3T7B'wa.-N.Y. URV CCUCD CURED T0 STAY CURED. ifn I I L f Lf | We want the name and address - " dress of every sufferer in the U.S.and Canada. Address , &AOTUWIA P.EtroldHijtEH.B.BnTJoy.T. ! The Soap that . .Cleans Most arr is Lenox. A BITOFA BLUNDER. "JJpclad , it was only a trifle , inatn , That co t me the lo < = o' me place , " To the question a-sked her the made no roplv , " \Vith u grin on her foolihh face. "The mi.ssi'itlienavc'iiic tliebabby to mind , And a iinny to throw in tliu stratc To tJic organ grinder who eumu al ) iij { And stopped jut forninst our gate. "J3ut instead of the oinny I threw the child , An' the fuss that the missis inn de. Euro ve'd nivcr balave it , an'M > I left ; " \Vh"at dacintgurl would a' stayed ? ' JJo-ton Transcript. CAUGHT. WAS feeling very dull , yes , re.'tlly bored , when this droll adventure happened to me. I said droll I should say lam entable , Imtlwill leave y o u to judge. Here is the story : Two days ago I met my friend Edward Beaumont on the boulevard. He is a "bon vivant " As soon as we exchanged the salutations of the day , I said : "Come , and dine with me to-mor row. " "No , I thank you ; it is impossible. " "Why impossible ? " "Because I am going to the mas querade ball of the Princess Wassa- lovrna. It will be a magnificent affair ; all the best people in society will be there , elegantly dressed , 'en masque , ' consequently mysterious intrigues and coquetry ad libitum , topped off with a superb supper truillts and champagne. " "Ah , you are lucky. " I answered with an envious sigh. " \Vell , come and go with me. I will present you. " "What ! without my wife ? " "Of course. " "But there's mother-in-law. my - - My dear fellow , you don't know the severe principles of that austere dame. She would be furious at the bare thought of such a thing. " "Ah , you are too guileless. I can manage "all that. I will send you a dispatch saying : 'The case of Gilliard comes up tomorrow ; you are needed ; come without delay. ' It is the simp lest thing in the world to arrange , and your mother-in-law will never know. " "But I have no costume. I would not dare to go unmasked , and have some driveler reporting my name in his paper. " "Xo trouble about that , Babine , the great costumer , is not ten steps from here. Let us go there and choose a costume. You can have it sent to my rooms. Come there and dress , and your 'belle-mere' will never be the What would you have done in my place ? I did just what you would have'done. 1 said "All right. Come on. " % * : ? * -s : : Perhaps you have never met my mother-in-law. I will describe her. Between 45 and 50 years of age. hair slightly ray. eyes still bright and alert , reasonably embonpoint , always dressed in a black serge robe , and poke bonnet , her lips thin , her voice sharp ; in truth , her whole appearance harsh and forbidding. But I must acknowledge she has reared her daughter perfectly. I have but one reproach to make she has developed in the dear little thing an exaggerated distrust of all conjugal probity. I have often asked myself how this austere person could have learned the deceiving ways of our sex. Her acuteness does not tally with her rigid principles and manners. Well , she may have gained her knowledge from the experience of her friends. You know many persons speak Spanish who have never been to Spain. 1 do not know if I have told you this severe matron passes herda/s at my house. It was at first understood that this arrangement would be tem porary. It has lasted seven years , and it seems ( from what , my wife says ) that I am tlp one who insists Upon her remaining ugh The next day after meeting my fi-iend Edward , during breakfast , Louis , my valet , entered with a fold ed envelope upon his waiter. I felt hot tinglings run through my whole body , but pretended not to see the scamp standing by my chair. " son-in-law ! " 3Iy - - I looked up with a most 'innocent candid expression. "Well , my dear madam ? ' ' "Louis has a dispatch for you. " "A dispatch. Ah. let me see. " 1 take it , unfold it , I feel the eyes of my wife and mother-in-law fixed upon me , but I keep my countena'nce , read it slowly , then shrug my shoul ders with a gesture of annoyance. " \Vhat is it ? ' ' asks my little wife anxiously. "Nothing serious , my dear. " I hand her the dispatch. It reads : "The case of Gilliard comes up to-morrow ; the solicitor begs you will come im mediately. " Jly wife gave a little sigh , a sigh which signified : "Poor fellow , obliged to travel . all nig'jt on the railroad ; how fjjtiguing. how annoying. " " My mother-in-law said nothing , only fixed her eyes upon me. I sustained the fire bravely. That evening at 8 o'clock I left these ladies , a valise on my arm , promising to return in twenty-fourhours. # * * * * * My friend E ivard and I arrived at the Princess V/assalowna's about 10 o'clock. The orchestra was intoxica ting. The gorgeous scene of shimmer ing silk , jewels , flowers , lights , all a gparkling , dazzling , hurly-burly , en- cnartted me. J forgot my austere mother-in-law and her rigid principles ; again drawin" farther an'd farther from the o crowd. We passed through a greenhouse , dim , cool and fragrant with flowers. This opened on a lawn. The night was warm , the grassy sward soft as vel vet , colored lamps , like luminous fruit , hung from the trees. Beyond this grassy plat , a dark , shaded grove. We entered it , vibrating to the dis tant music , languishing 'mid the whis pering leaves. What would you have done in my place ? I tore off my mask and sent it to the devil ; then I softly untied the ribbons which held the mask of my adorable coquette. Just then whiz ! Bang ! A crash of fireworks inundated us with a flood of dazzling light. Half blinded , I looked up ; m'y Moorish beauty burst into a mocking satanic laugh. Oh , horror ! It was my mother-in-law ! From the French of D. Darce. The Kindof Men .That Command Great Ocean Steamers. Clear-headed , brainy driving men , are these master mariners , bearing patiently a responsibility that needs an iron will and a courage falterinc at nothing. There is no royal road to their station , nor can willing hands make them what they must be. They cannot crawl through cabin windows dews , nor , for that matter , come fly ing in a pier head jump through the gangway with one leg forward and the other aft. They have to fight their way over the bows , and strangle out of the ruck and smother inthefo'ks'le , by sturdy buffeting and hard knocks , by the persistent edging of stout shoulders backed by strong hearts and steady brains. If it is in them they will make their way in the end surely , and may set the course and stump to windward as they please , while others haul the weather ear rings , and drink their i rog persibting- ly. Xo ; master mariners are made , not. born. and. unlike many of their brothers in the Government service , have to rise by energy , pluck , merit why enumera-te them ? by a hundred qualities the world is better for own- in" . Scribner. Why Men-of-War's Wen Fight. "It is a curious thing , and one which I could never satisfactorily account for , " said an old navy man the other day to a X. Y. Timts writer , "but if the crews , of an American and British man-of-war are given leave at the same time in a foreign port , the result of broken heads and r ses is no more a matter of speculation than the calcu lation of the next eclipse. As soon as they meet a row is started , -uhieh Gen erally ends in all hands being disabled or arrested , sometimes both. "Jt frequently happens that the po lice interfere with the contestant- . The unwritten law in this case is for the belligerents to join forces anain.-t the common enemy. I have otten seen them come out victoriousin their contests with the officers of the law , and after adjourning to a neighboring saloon for refreshment * , begin again their interrupted hostilities. "But it is only on neutral ground that these general engagement take place. ] f they meet on English or American soil each tries to outvie the other in hospitality. " Filling a Particular Order. It was in the dog day ? , so , ordering dinner , he made it a special stipulation that one dish should bean icepuddinc. The waiter answered , "Yes , sir1 and disappeared. In due course the dinner disappeared also , at least as the roasts and entrees were concerned. "Xow , " said the host , as he wiped the perspiration from his brow , "bring in he ice pudding. " The waiter vanished , and presently returned , bearing triumphantly a noble plum pudding , surrounded by a sea of blazing sauce. "Why , what is this ? ' ' asked the dismayed master of the feast. "Do youwant to burn us all up ? " 'Well , sir , " was the aggrieved reply. "you asked for a" nice pudding , and this is the nicest pudding we could make. " London Truth. A Fragile Structure. J A system which clironlc indigestion has leplctcd and iondcrc < i nervous : tml feeble. fc indeed : t vcrv fragile structure , a , tcuo- lient fast topnihiK Into Irretrievable decay. Excessive In nubility , of temper , ubmmu.il Lnd causeless uhxieiy. hypochondria , liys- Icrhi and sIcL'iiIciMic-ss tliesu are tonic of Ihe mujilfcst.-itlona of nervousness T'vit I rand luvliroHitlug nuivhio. HustrU.'i Itouiuch Itlltc-n. , tr.iiKiiiUI.ieb by stronjUhi-u- lij ; the nerves , nceuniplMiirii ; the double lesiilt thtouih the inaditmi of rcncnod llgcstlon and assimilation. No tunic la cx- | - > U'iico exhibits such thoroughness , pro- luccs suolibueedily uunreciuulo effects as Ibo Bitters. It 1a perfectly reliable saf < - tuard against niu.laria and dangerous IU1- hey trouble , and remedies complete'/ liver Lnd bowel innetlvity and disorder. Nervous ivallds fhouid not fail to fortify their lystems with this benign protective , \vliich fell merits a persistent trial. Dcntlhtry in Cltfnu. Vne report of the physician in charge | i the Ningpo Missionary Hospital for 10 past year contains tome interesting Dservations on tooth-drawing in lina. Dr. Daly remarks that Chi- 3&e teeth are much more easily ex- Jaeted than those of Europeans. The itive dentists are said to possess a londerful powder , which is rubbed on le gum over the affected tooth : after interval of : ibou five minutes the itient is told to sneeze , whereupon lie tooth falls out. Dr. Daly has of- fred a reward of $100 to anyone per- mning the operation in this way in lis presence , on condition that he is lilowed to choose the tooth and ex- Jmine the mouth before and afterward , jo far no one will consent to perform lie operation on these conditions. Iritish and Colonial Drujrjrist. HALL'S CATAKRH CURE is a liquid nnd 1 taken internally , and acts dnec-tly on the looil and mucous surfaces of the system. I'rlte for testimonials , f Manufactured F. J. CHENEY & CO. , Toledo , U. [ errolcl's Dislike of Aduptcd I'lay-- From this time his fame as a dram- ist was a-sured. and before long1 his meuies and dramas were delighting- rge audiences at the leading thea- | es , as thcyhaa already done lor some me at the minor one = . Jt was sug- sted that he should adapt a piece m the French ( as many other dramatists then did ) for the Drury Lane stage.Xo. . " was his indignant reply , " 1 will come into this theatre as an original dramatist , or not at all. * All his life long he bitterly protested against the fas-hion of translating and adapting , which excluded the work of native writers and gave a reputation to men for work which they had not originated. Talking once with Mr. Planche ( a noted adapter of plays ) on this question , Planche insisted that some of his characters were original. Don't you remember"saidhe. "my Haroness in 'Ask no Questions ? ' " ' Yes. indeed. I don't think I ever saw a piece of yours without being struck by your barrenness , " ' was the pointed reply. St. Nicholas. \Vhen Baby was sick , we gave her Castor : * , When she VT.-.S a Child , she cried for Castoria , When she became Miss , she clung to Castoria , 'Wfheu she had Children , she save them Castoria , The patent medicine mau is nevermore STo-pcrotis than uheis his cue all is a drug- in the market. Many so-calh'd "Bitter " arc not medi cine * , but simply liquors so uis uNed : n to evade the law in prohibition section * . This i not the case with the celebrated I'rickly Asli Hitters. Jt is purely a medicine , at t.nir on the liver and blood , and b/ reason of ; t- > cathartic effects cannot be n ed as a bever age. It should be in every household. 'Jhe rose-would piobablv be less fragrant if it could talk. Major's Ci'inent Repairs Kroken Articles 1 Jc and L''c. Major's Leather and Ktibber Cement ] "ie. A mealy-mouthed man is the one who an nounces dinner. "IInnson' : Unio f'orn P AVarninti'd to cure , or money u-fuudud. Afli your druf-'Kist for It. 1'rK-u 15 cents. Pegs nml men both have summer pants : but : Tdor : has a lit sometimes. FITS. All Fits ? stopped f roe b run. KI.t.M/SGliFn Xorve lipstorcr. No 1'itaftpr tir-triay' ii-.c. Jlnr- vcllous cure" . Treatise ami i ? 00 trlnl bottle free to Fit cases , fcciidto Ii. Kline..il Arch St. , I'lnla. , 1'a Adam \va < ; prouuiy corsnious that he never made a mistake in his box hood. Mrs. Wiuslow's SontTiinsrPyrup. for Chil dren teething , softens the can- ' * , reducesinfiaiuma - tion , alleys pain , cures w.ud colic. 2ic. a bottle. A mnn cau < rht in a sheet of rain is a : > t to blank it. _ Girls in country postofiices aie mail clerks , although they indiirnantlv dcnv it. Of Roxbury , lass , Kennedy's Medical Discover ) cures Horrid Old Sores , Deep Seated Ulcers of 4:0 years standing , Inward Tumors , and disease of the skin every , ex cept Thunder Humor , and Cancer that has taken root. Price $1.50. Sold by every Druggist in the U. S. and Canada. J.J. THOMAS & CO. , IC13 Curtis Street , DENVEK , - COL. Special rate ? for carload" : to Club * find Alliances lor ull Nrrtht-rn Colorado Lump : ind Steam Coal- . Consumers will consult their jntcrots by writing Tor pricci. W. N. U. , Omaha , " ' - 57u 23. Ciiiifiriiirtf. The favorable impression produced on the first , appearance of the agreea ble hquiu fruit remedy Syrup of Fj.r { a few years njro has been more than con firmed by t u pleasant experience of all who have used it. and the success of the proprietors and manufacturers the California Fi r Syrup Company. It lo a Mj i ry. While a fair voting daughter of Yon : . 1'n. . was serenely tealed in her aeiral bedchamber the other night , weary with the toils of the day about to doff her wrap and lay hcr&cif down upon her couch to enjoy the Kindly embrace of Morpheus , she suddenly heard a strange noise , which almost bewildered her. Jt was an old family clock which had been stored away in the room. Its truthful tones had not been heard for half a century , when all at once its wheels began to vibrate and the old familiar gong sounded out the time of night 11 o'clock. It did not strike ortick'1 again , but stopped. not to < io again. The aiarm it , a mys tery and the timid lassie awaits in breathless biicucu the sequel of the occasion. IJryanfs Mail Collfpo , Ruflalo. X. Y. If you \\unl tojrot a peed , thorough business edu cation , cheaply , at 3 oar own home , writu to above. I've got tbc bulge on you , as the j.utapkiu said to the vine. to Toronto , Out. , VIA THI : AVABASH RAILROAD. Tor tlio National Educational eunvcution at Toronto the \\ubash ivill tell Kouua 'Inp tickets.July btb to lllili , at half fare , witu tie dollars added for membership fee , good returning until Sept. UOtfo. hxcursinn lutes have been inui.e fioiu Toronto ilh choice of routes \ia all rail , or pomi ; via steamer through the Thousand Iblands , returning via tail to .Monti oal , Quebec , Bo-tun , Albany , Ne\v Vork and all the summer ic torts ot New England. Take a vacation an.i jo.H the \Vabash excursion , tor tickets and excursion folder giving full information with lii-t of side Trips , cost of same , etc. , call at 'VVabash ollice , ITiOJ 1 am am street , or write Grjo. N. ( _ i.\\ros , N. W P. A. , Omaha. S. S. S. is the great remedy of the age , curing as it does every form o blood poison disease , and these in clude more than seventj'-five per cent , of all the maladies afflictingmankind. No Name. My little boy , five years old , was attacked with a disease for which the doctors had no name. The nails caine off to the middle joint. For three years , under various kinds of treatment from many physicians , he suf f ered terribly and got no better. I begaa the use of Swift's Specific a short time ago , and he is getting well. well.JOHN JOHN DEIHL , Peru , Ind. Boots on R'ood and Skin Diseases Free. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO. , Allanla , Ga. I'osltlrrlyonrod tm these Llttlo I'llls. Thsy slao reliera Dls-j tress fromDygpejisia.Ia . digestion and TooHcirtyE Eating. A perfect rsm-r Bad in the Mouth , Coated , Tongtie.Piia in the Sule. ! TOKFID LirSJl. Thojl reguUto the BoivelsJ Purely Ves t&blo. Prlea 25 Cents ; CASTES HSDICI1TS CO. , ESW YGA2. Small Pill , Small Dose , Small Price , ! WEES- : ! ! The fir-t iin ; > oi tntion tnnvm ! of YOUMS , TUIh Cl K\N l'\K KOT .11 lived aiul I elli r tin in , t the hi e M ! ion prccoronix $7 " 0 tai-h. F.icii I'.i'-iot M > M w.tli i written Ou traiitco to TI.K Now i thu cinx cn.inej mir.iifj the nhole jeal to fr - I * A L. K.Z > Xi I A II HOT , rili cl."i or fiO &tudi a jince N < - \ \ Loti- arrive t\t r\ clay Don t mi" * > o\ir i-h.inct1' OitU-r at OIKP it fore ( rene ' Itinls ship pt ( ! by exiire- * ' Bin ! Fancier , OMAHA , NF.P. , ALOON AND BILLIARD MEN. For f-nloon Fiitiires. liilli.ird an 1 Pool Ta' > I < v kRillianl Si pplle nnd Rar1 1 -et-d tTHU FCAKI KN CITY Hir.LIAKO TA1SLK CO. , < 13 41J So. loth strict. Omaha , Neb. RESTORED. KEMKHY I KIJKK. A Miami ot > t > uthijl Pn-niatutf Ih-cnj > er ous llvi-it- itU't Manhood &e..ha iti tii lin ainf eM k nn irmt-rtr. lm disOr -d a siinultnie.ui - of htlfcuie. w Inch lie will en.l.iti'd' FHKKto hi-- fellow > urni > . Addrt-j- I . M VhOX , lox ! .n , New 'i ork < itj . E f KN T0 'r K A v E L K u a j : > 0toi00 a month and e poi On the rnovt ' Liver , Stomach , and Bowels , after Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets have done their work. It's a healthy movement , too a natural one. The organs are not forced into activity one day , to sink back into a worse state the next They're cleansed and regulated mild ly and quietly , without wrench ing or griping. One tiny , sugar-coated Pellet is all that's needed as a gentle laxative ; three to four act as a cathar tic. They're the smallest , cheapest , the easiest to take. Sick Headache , Bilious Head ache , Constipation , Indigestion , Bilious Attacks , and all de rangements of the Liver , Stomach and Bowels are promptly relieved arid cured. ASK YOUR DEALER FOIl A TKIAJ , 1'AIIl FOR lEN , WOMEN & CHILDREN. CHAS. SHIVERICK & CO. , JiiOG , 1208 ami 11MO Furnam Mrecf COMPLETE STOCK OF FURNIT'JRE AND CURTAINS. Dr. Le Due's Periodical Pills A \\nrran ti-d to rcliux" tanH irnular and < le- l.ivi-d inintriiatioii > . li. 'aMi-hcil in Knrope m I'-S.i , Kimland , lsr.0 , Canaa1S77 , United States I'-ST. WMII lliN Fn-iich J'1' ' ! at i. : i box or * hn-e for * . " > . \\V warrant thr > 'il ! Jit5 to Sveiv- licf a- , 'iiofMt - < l or rcf-in-i til n'om-y Tlif-si ; . .u.l > . i-iii bS"nt per niiil on re-efj. ; of inom-v. \ \ h l -.ue and retail of G udmau Drug Co. , REDUCED t-'Ti'l If lor riitilirami " -iti'mm' * ! * Mrfis Dr. O.W.F.SXTDER.McVicker's Theatre BMs. Chicago. Ilf. KANSAS CITr , .UO. Send for Wifd catalogue. . U Wk W * r n * * * tt 4M i * ' a. vx * r M n f bpnd fvr Inventor - ' jidforHo to'jljtamaPjt . Scinilorl > vt" = tof J'K > > H > Btid KOt'AI V LAWS , PATRIC.'OTARRELL , - Vv ASHIKGTOi : , D. C. _ i.J > .C. 'Successfully Prosecutes Claims. I L&te principal fcxum nr L S Pension Bureau. ! 3yra m last , war , 15aUjaiin.j.iij c < a.j.3 , attx 6lac& fJS u' ' i Thompson's Eye WafeiT Best Cough Medicine. Recommended by Physicians. Cures where all else fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the taste. Children take it without objection. By druggists. indeed t * like SAPpOLJ © should ake everything so brighh but needle clothes others&n"d is ihselj : n&ked'.Try ir in yournexthouse-cleaning What folly it would be to cut with grass a pair of scissors ! Yet people ple do equally silly things every day. Modern progress has grown up from the hooked sickle to the stringing scythe and thence to the lawn mower. So don't use scissors ! But do you use SAPOLIO ? If you don't you are as much behind the age as if you cut grass with a dinner knife. Once there were no soaps. Then one soap served all purposes. Now the sensible folks use one soap in the toilet , another in the tub , one soap in the ntables , and SAPOLIO for all scouriuor and house-cleaning. - Jt ? A