COURT YOUR WIFE.
Oh middle-aged man , I've o word with you ,
As you alt In your offlco this morn ;
Has the worry of life , wlthlta folly and strife ,
Pierced your heart llko n festering thornt
Does the touch of your gold feel too clammy and
cold.
Are you weary of flattery's scorn ?
Alas , for the days when the passions of youth
Burn low in the dcsolato heart !
When the laughter and tears of our innocent
years
Never more from the sympathies start ,
And tbo hideous mien of indulgcnco is been
'Ncath the flattering mantle of artl
Perhaps you've tried friendship , and only have
found
Deception and cclflshncss rife ;
Perhaps you have poured to-tho needy your
hoard.
To bo prlcUcd by Ingratitude's knife ;
And perhaps you have been through tbo whole
round of sin-
Did you ever try courting your wife ?
Not Then talco my advice nnd I think you will
find
'Tis a pleasure as charming as new.
Follow memory's track till at last you are back
To the days when you swore to bo true-
Yea , dream moro and more till she seems as of
yore
To be watching and sighing for you.
And when you go home to-night buy a bouquet
Of the flowers she used to admire.
Put them Into her hand when before her you
stand ,
\Vlth a lover like kiss of desire ,
And ohl Watcii her eyes when they ope with
surprise ,
And flame up from a smoldering flrel
Then ftll the long evening be tender and kind ,
Hover near her with eager delight ;
Call her "Darling" and "Sweet , " the old titles
repeat
' Till her face is with happiness bright-
'i Try It , world-wearied man , 'tis an excellent
plan ,
Go a-courtingyour dear wife to-night 1
George Ilorton , In Chicago Herald.
A CAKBON COPY.
How a Law Firm "Was Supplied
with Their Opponents' Thunder.
\
"Somebody interested in this matter
is stealing our thunder , " began Mr.
t Capias , of tbo famous law firm of
Capias , Summons & Circuit , as ho
motioned an unassuming , quiet-lookingf ,
middle-aged man to a seat in his pri
vate room.
The quiet-looking man said nothing
in reply. Ho sat down and waited , smil
ing pleasantly.
"Ho is not only stealing our thunder , "
continued the lawyer , sitting bolt up
right in his huge leather chair and
fingering nervously with a paper-knife ,
"but he is actually selling it to the
other side. "
, "You have no idea who it can bo ? " re
plied the quiet-looking man.
"Not the slightest. I don't suspect
any body in this office. Our clerks
have all boon in our employ for years.
We feel that wo can trust them im
plicitly. But so important is secrecy in
this matter that I have given nobody a
chance to go back on us. My interviews
with our client have been conducted
right here in this room with closed
doors. "
Through long habit , the eyes of Henry
G. Marshall , one of the most experi
enced detectives in the West , rested
lor a moment on the transoms. They
wore hermetically sealed. Two winters
ago the crevices had been stuffed with
cotton batting. It had never been re
moved.
"What letters have you written ?
Who has access to your press copy
books ? " was his first question.
Mr. Capias smiled slightly. "The
ability of these men is sadly over
rated , " thought he.
"Letters of this character I always
write myself , copy myself in my pri
vate book , and that book I keep in that
vault under lock and key. The leak is
not in that direction. Now , what do
you advise ? "
The-dotective considered a moment.
"I will work on the case outside for a
few days. I will watch your office and
have those characters whom 1 may consider -
, sider suspicious watched and shadowed.
If I find no clew it may become neces
sary for me to take a place in the office
myself. "
"In iny office ! " ejaculated the aston
ished lawyer. "In wbatcapacity , pray ? "
"There are a variety of openings. 1
oan come as a copyist , confidential mes
senger , constable , just as you wish. "
Mr. Marshall took his hat and left.
Mr. Capias said nothing of his interview
with the detective to either of his part
ners. The case in question , a very important -
portant one , involving the recovery of
ft great estats , the Bangs litigation , was
entirely under his management. What
he loved best was to work in secret and
astonish Mr. Summons and Mr. Circuit
with his grand coups. These latter gen
tlemen , whilst excellent and painstak
ing lawyers , lacked the genius which
undoubtedly distinguished Capias in the
management of affairs. Retainers from
great corporations came his way as nat
urally as water finds its own level. A
great bank rang him up over the telephone -
phone one day.
"Please come over at once. We wish
to retain you in an important matter. "
"My office is blankety-blankety blank ,
Blank street. I shall be in from four to
five , when I shall be happy to see you.
I am now in consultation , " was the au
dacious reply of Mr. Capias , who really
had nothing more important on hand at
that particular moment than usual.
Messrs. Summons and Circuit were
appalled. Capias was crazy to talk that
way to such an institution as the Mutu
al Credit , Trust , Loan" and Universal
Accommodation Association. They ex
changed looks of alarm.
But Capias was right. There is noth
ing your great corporation reveres so
much as independence. A man who de
clined to come out and see them must
necessarily bo a great lawyer. An of
ficial called that very day with an im
mense retainer , and confidence was re
stored in the breasts of Mr. Capias' more
timid associates.
But even Mr. Capias had been unable ,
with all his astuteness , to get to the
bottom of the Bangs mystery who was
furnishing facts to the other side.
flo was opposed by very shady prac-
%
'titioners. Slivey. Tove & Sons had a
rery unsavory reputation in the pro
fession of the law.
Neither could Mr. Marshall , the
equally astute detective , succeed any
better , it appeared. At any rate , ho so
\
Y
informed Mr. Capias at tbo end of a
week's seemingly fruitless search , add
ing however :
"Tho man must be in your offlco. I
must como in there Monday morning.1'
"Who is that new.clerk in the outer
office who spells injunction with a 'c ? ' "
inquired Mr. Circuit of Mr. Summons ,
"Did him "
you engage ?
"I did not"emphatically.
Mr. Circuit's face grow as long as that
of a master in chancery who has lost
his fees. or the receiver of a fat estate
which has settled amicably with its
creditors.
"Capias must have hired him ! " ho
ejaculated.
That settled it If the now clerk had
spelled injunction backwards it would
have made no difference. Capias had
hired him that was sufficient.
For three days Mr. Marshall re
mained in the office of Capias , Summons
& Circuitwhere he soon became a prime
favorite. If he was deficient in spoiling ,
ho was certainly the most amusing
story-toller they had over seen. Pretty
little Mary Sunshine , the pretty type
writer operator , pronounced him the
greatest acquisition possible. Mr.
Waxinski. the chancery clerk , declared
him to be a superb judge of beers. As
by an instinct ho had tasted of that
gentleman's favorite brand of malt bev
erage , only to unqualifiedly indorse
his opinion that it was the best in the
market.
There was one person in the office of
Messrs. Capias. Summons & Circuit ,
however , who appeared to take offense
at this addition to the clerical forco.
His name was Henry Badingor. He had
been promoted from office-boy to docket-
clerk , from docket-clerk to the position
of confidential man. Ho was a jewel in
the eyes of Messrs. Capias , Summons &
Circuit He was possessed of a prodi
gious memory. In the outer office ho was
nicknamed the Encyclopedia.
"What is the title of the Rush &
Bust Company's case before Morton ,
Henry ? " Mr. Circuit would ask , peering
out of his especial den from behind his
eye-glasses , and Henry would reply ,
off-hand : "Silas G. Rush and Timothy
Flimsey Bust , trading under the firm
name of the Rush & Bust Manufactur
ing Company. General No. 381,246 ,
term No. 4,938 , document No. page 143.
Files in the vault , box No. 36 , " with
much more useful information on the
subject.
It was this gentlomnn whom the now
clerk decided in his own mind would
bear watching. But a week wont by
and nothing came of his suspicions ex
cept his own discomfiture , which was
mainly brought about , too , by the afore
said Badinger.
The confidential man had been ono of
the first to ascertain that the new clerk
indulged in such little slips as "moan
profits" "and as to your honors shall
seem meet , " etc. Ho was perpetually
laying traps for the detective , and all
that the trapped ono could do was to
grind his teeth behind his desk and
emulate that Scriptural exemplar of the
hardest of the cardinal virtues , Job.
Only Job had his boils outside. He , the
detective , could only "boil within. "
"I don't want you over in the law
library , " Badinger remarked one morn
ing."Mr.
"Mr. Circuit " began the detective ;
but Badinger cut him short. Badinger
was the only ono in the office who dared
to bully the junior partners , but he did
it effectually.
Mr. Marshall left the library , howev
er , only to appear a few minutes later
in a disguise so perfect that it was won
derful how. he had effected it in such a
short time.
Mr. Badinger passed the little , bent
man with the blue spectacles and short
red hair a dozen times in the course of
the morning ; but he never suspected
his identity. Behind those blue specta
cles , however , a pair of steel-gray eyes
were relentlessly watchful of the confi
dential man's slightest movements.
A boy passed the detective with a
list of books in his hand which he saw
Badinger prepare. H came back with
an armful. Pretending to be occupied
with important business , the detective
looked and saw Badinger very distinctly
mark each book with a pencil.
He immediately determined some
thing was wrong. At all hazards he
must possess himself of the list
He arose and crossed to the table at
which Badinger was seated.
"Excuse me , " he said , "have you
Borer on Railroads. "
At the same time he slipped the little
list , which the boy had placed on the
table , into his palm.
There was nothing about it to excite
suspicion. It read simply :
Ayres v. Mason , 8 Mich. 143.
Mulligan v. Smith , 50 Cat 209.
Hays T. Jones , 87 O. State , 218.
Sharp v. Spier , 4 Hill , 76.
Dillon Munlcp. Corp. Vol. 2 , Sec. 720.
Cooley on Taxation , 659.
Wame v. Baker , 35I1L
Roberts v. Easton , 10. State , 78.
Black v. Marvey , 8 Md. 228.
Friend v. Coons , 26 N. J. BM.
Lyle v. Winston , 0 Bradwell , 178.
Nye v. Houston , 43 HL 126.
There were twelve books in alL
Pretty soon Badinger got up.
He began looking for his list Now
finding it , he sat down and made out
another. The detective was sure of
this , for he saw him pick up each book
and read its title. Then be opened each
book carefully and began searching for
certain pages. Not finding them read
ily , ho betran marking the books afresh.
The detective was tremendously puz-
icled. It is against the rules of the
library to mark the books. Why was
Badinger so persistent in the practice ?
Could it bo possible that in that way he
was conveying a message to some con
federate in crime ?
He began to grow excited. Perhaps
he was on the right track at last
Badinger left the library. The boy
gathered up the books and put them
away. The detective arose and strolled
past the table.
To his intense astonishment ho saw
the list still lying there.
Ho did not disturb it , but immediate
ly retreated to a safe distance , from
which spot ho kept his eyes riveted
upon that corner of the room where Bad
inger had been seated.
Ho waited and waited. Several law
yers came in the course of an hour and
sat at the table. Ono even picked up
the list and glanced carelessly at it ; but
ho tossed it aside again.
Suddenly a man came through the
library door who set bis heart to boat
ing.Mr.
Mr. Slivoy , of the firm of Slivoy ,
Tovo & Sons , approached the table.
Ho was a very cautious man evident
ly. "He won't pick up that list yet , "
thought the detective ; "but ho'll pick it
up , nevertheless. "
Sure enough Mr. Slivoy , after a few
minutes' wait , stretched forth a long ,
loan skinny hand and took hold of the
little piece of paper. Ho beckoned up
ono of tbo boys and gave it to him.
The boy passed the detective on his
way to the book shelves , grumbling aa
ho wont : "That's the second time 1
had that very list of books this blessed
morning. "
The detective watched Mr. Slivoy
closely for the next few minutes. He
was but a very short time in the
library before he got up and went out
The boy came and put away the books
again.
"He's got bis message sure , " thought
Marshall. "Now to find out what it
is. " He called up a fresh boy and gave
the list to him in order to avert sus
picion.
Unfortunately the boy ho called was
busy. He eyed the list for a moment ,
and handed it to his companion.
"Here , Jim ; take those books to the
old follow over there with the blue
glasses. "
Jim took it He was simply thunder
struck.
"What's in the durned thing , " he
ejaculated. "That's the 'third time
I've been asked for those books this
morning. "
However he took them over to the de
tective , eying him meantime suspici
ously.
Marshall took the first book on the list
and opened it at page 124. On that
page ho found underlined in pencil
the word "further. " He went through
the whole list , picking out the marked
words and writing each opposite its own
book.
The result then stood :
Letter further another must before go
I any more have expect night
Read either backwards or forwards
this message was rank nonsense. For a
quarter of an hour Marshall kept re
volving the words in his mind. Sud
denly an idea flashed across his brain.
With fingers trembling with eagerness
he placed the books before him in their
alphabetical order. A cry of joy , with
difficulty suppressed , arose to his lips ,
as the result stood thus :
Expect another letter night must
have more before I go any further.
Who was to expect another letter ?
Slivey ! of course. And "night" simply
meant "to-night" And Badinger must
have more money before he would "go
any further. " He saw it all now.
With an extraordinary feeling of ela
tion , the detective left the library. As
he stepped across the hall to the eleva
tor , he disposed of his wig and glasses
and turned down the collar of his coat
When he stepped into the elevator , he
was once more the new clerk of Messrs.
Capias , Summons & Circuit All trace
of the old gentleman with his fiery red
hair and the blue spectacles had disap
peared. Perhaps ho had gone over into
the water office to pay his taxes. Who
knows ?
"It is infernally hot in this closet
Can't I get out for a minute , " com
plained poor Mr. Capias.
"Not unless you want to spoil every
thing. He'll be here , I tell you , as soon
as every thing is quiet You mark my
words. You won't .have long to wait
It's nearly eight now. "
"But I'm suffocating , " pleaded Mr.
Capias. "I'm not accustomed to being
shut up in closets. And he won't come
any way , for I heard him ring up a
friend on the telephone and invite him
to dinner. "
"I'll bet a week's wages that was a
blind. How do you know he wasn't just
talking into the receiver , without any
connection. Any one can invit * people
ple to dinner at that rate and not ruin
themselves. Hark ! What's that Hush ,
not a sound , mind you. 1 heard a key
in the lock. "
It was quite dark in that closet in Mr.
Capias' room. They listened and heard
a key inserted in the door of the outer
office and caught the sound of footsteps
cautiously approaching. In another
moment a key grated in the door of the
private room and a man entered.
By the light of a sulphur match which
he struck noiselessly , they looked and
saw Badinger the confidential Badin
ger.
ger.He
He lit a little piece of oandl * and
placed it on the very desk where Capias
had that day written an important let
ter in the Bangs litigation.
His eyes almost stood out of his legal
head as he saw his favorite clerk lift up
his thin blotting pad and take there
from a sheet of carbon and a very thin
sheet of tissue paper.
On the latter was an exact fac simile
of the letter , written by his client that
afternoon. Unconsciously , Mr. Capias
had been furnishing Slivey , Tove &
Sons with carbon copies of his corre
spondence.
Overcome with indignation , Mr.
Capias rushed from his hiding place ,
and seizing Badinger commenced pound
ing him with both his fists. Entirely
taken by surprise , the unlucky clerk of
fered not the slightest resistance. He
would have been murdered but for
the timely interference of the dotective.
"There ! that's enough for thatfellow.
Discharge him. You can afford to let
him go , for now we have Slivey , Tove fc
Sons in a box , and don't you forget it
Besides , you can't afford to have this
thing blown on , Mr. Capias. You'd be
the laughing stock of Chicago. "
Mr.Capias saw he was right He
contented himself with dismissing
Badinger from his service. Next morn
ing the famous suit of Bangs vs. Bangs
was settled forever. Austyn Granville ,
in Chicago Journal.
Schedule Time.
Mr. Cbeapside I thought you said
you were going to Mrs. Brick's five
o'clock tea this afternoon. It's after
five now.
Mrs. Cheapside There's no hurry.
Her five o'clock tea isn't likely to be
ready before seven. She's got the girl
I used to have. N. Y. "Weekly.
TERMS OF COURT POR 1891.
EloTttth Jadlchl ltrlct of Hrtraita.
CHASE : February 24 , jury ; Juno 2. no Jury ;
September 1. jury.
.DUNDV : Murch 2 , jury ; Juno 8 , no jury ;
September 11 , Jury ; December ? , no Jury.
HITCHCOCK : Mnreli 10.'Jury ; Juno 11. no
JurySeptembcr21jurvDecemberO , nojury.
UED WILLOW : Mnrch 150 , Jury ; Juno 15. no
Jurj ; October 5 , jury ; December 11. no Jury.
FoiiNAS : A | ril IS. jury ; June 17. no Jury ;
October lit. Jury ; December 14 , no Jury.
HAYCS : April 28. jiirj ; SfpU'mliur 8. no
jury ; Noromlier 9. jury.
FuuvriKii : May 1 , jury ; September 10 , no
Jury ; November 17. jury.
Gnsi'Kic May 25 , jury : November 150 , Jury.
J. K CocmiAN.
McCook , Xoh. , Jtiii. 1. Itfll.
Itch on liumnn and horses mid all nnlnmlH
cured in 30 minutes by Woolford's Sanitary
Lotion. This never lalls. Sold by L. W. Me-
Council & Co. . Drugirists , MeCook. 30-lyr.
THE
ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS.
Established 1839.
Tlie Daily NPWS , of seventy-two columns ,
has n capacity Tor rending matter equal to the
largo Eastern papers. It alms to furnish all
the news of the day. complete in detail , jet
concise in form. It is devoted to Western.and
especially to Colorado interests.
Our SPECIAL TELE6UAPH SEHVICE is
superior to that of any other journal west of
St. Louis. The News employes moie agents
and pays more for special dispatches than all
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The Weekly News furnishes n compendium
of every notable event , tit home and abroad ,
with a liberal supply of choice , original nnd
selected articles , specially adapted to family
entertainment and instruction. Itistno best
weekly family newspaper published in the
West.
A feature of both the Daily and Weekly ed
itions of the Ne\vs , of the iirst importance to
the public , is our perfect system of market
reports. The absol ute reliabilit y ofour com
mcrcial deuartmcnt has long1 been recognized
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as well as local quotations.
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Has secured as contributors
during the ensuing twevle
months :
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GEU. MEREDITH , WILLIAM'BLACK ,
ANDREW LANG , W. CLANK RUSSELL.
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And iniiny other distinguished writers.
THE SUNDAY SUN
for the ensuing twelve months , will print
mure news and more pure literature of the
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Price 5c. a copy. By mail $2 a Year.
Address THE SUN , New York.
KILPATRICK BROTHERS.
Horses branded on left hip or left shoulder.
P.O. address , Imperial.
Chase County , and Beat
rice , Neb. Range.Stink-
Ingr Water and French
man creeks. Chase Co. ,
Nebraska.
Brand as cut on side of
some animals , on hip and
sides of some , or any
where on the animal.
jnnno.OO atyear is being made by John 1 :
GoodwinTroyJf.r. , t work for ui. Header ,
you may not make as much , but we can
teach yon quickly bovr to earn from fi to
(10 a tiny at the start , and moro at you pro
on. Both sexes , all ages. In any part of
[ America , you can commence at home , pit
'in ' ? all your timeor spare momenta onlv ii
the work. All ii new. Great pay SClth 1.1
erery worker. We itart you , furnishir ;
ererrthmp. EASILY. SPEEDILY learm.l
PAHTlCULAltS FIIEE. Addreia at ome
Bfl.SbO.'i * CO. , FOKTLial ) , SUI.NL.
A. YEAR ! I undertake to briefly
I teach any fairly Intelligent person ofeithrr
$3000 , who can read and write , and who ,
I after instructionwill work induitriouily ,
T 'how to earn Three Thousand Dollars a
Yearlnlheirownlocalltiei , herererthey live.I will altofiirnlih
the situation or employment which you can earn that amount.
No money for me unless successful aa above. Kasilyvnd quickly
learned. I desire but one worker from each district or county. I
hare already taught and provided with employment a tarcre
number , who are making over $3000 a year each. It'alVEAV
and SOI > II > . Tiill particulars KITEK. Address at once ,
E. C. ALLEN. JUox 42O , Auguitu , Maiue.
f con be earned at onrKEWlineof work.
' rapidly and honorably , by those of
either sex. young or old , and in their
own localities , lirreierthp lire. Any
one can do the nork. Casy to learn.
We furnish everything. We start you. No risk. You can devote
your spare moments , or all 3 our time to the n ork. This ! an
entirely new leadand brings wonderful succep * to every woiker.
Beginners are earning from t-0 to S50 per week and upn arils ,
and more after a little experience. We can furnikh you the em
ployment and teach you HKKNo space to explain here. Full
Information FKEE. OMtTJE tfc CO. , AlUlSiTA , 2AIM. .
Snug little fortuneshavebeenmadeat
work for us , by Anna Tage , Austin ,
Texas , and Jno. Bonn , Toledo , Ohio.
Seecut. Olher nredoingaswell. Why
not % ou ? Some earn over S500.00 a
month. You can do the work and live
H t home , where tryou are. Even be-
f p'nners arc easily earning from * J to
< 10aday.AlIage9. We show you bow
and start you. Can work in spare time
orall the time. Dig money for work
ers. Failure unknown among them.
NEW and wonderful. Particulars free.
lI.lIaUett tCo.Itox8HOI'ortlantlMulttO
BiAiRiGiAilfNlS
. We are prepared to sell you goods as cheaply as any
house in this citv. From now until we invoice we
will give you EXTR OR < DIJf ftY 'E fRG IMS.
Ladies' Cloaks and Jackets ,
at front one dollar to ten dollars each" worth fully '
< LOU BLE THE MOJfEY !
Ftr Fir
ARRIVING
BOOTS AND SHOES
LOWER THAN THE LOWEST.
Wo arc tins only house that sells the Cele
bris t < ! HONEY DEW CANNED GOODS.
G BBLEY ; 00Lj POTATOES ,
0ARLOAD OF MINNESOTA POTATOES ,
The lnvst 50c. tea ever sold in the city.
A Mg- stock of
HATS , GAPS , GLOVES , MITTENS Em
Couie and see us and we will use you well.
WILCOX & FOWLER.
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52-Worms , Worm Fever , Worm Colic. . , iJ5
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14 Halt abeam , Erysipelas , Eruption * . .25
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16 Ferer and Acne , ChillsMalaria 5O
17 Files , Blind or Bleeding 5O
19 Catarrh , Influenza , Cold In the Head .50
O Whooping Cough , Violent Coughs. .50
4 General neblllty.PhysIcalWeakaess .50
27 Kidney Disease .50
28 Nervous Debility l.OO
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eO Diseases of theHeartPalpltatlonl.OO
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t price. DR. HUMPHREYS' XUNUAL(144 pages )
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Humphreys' MediclneCo.109 Fulton St. K Y.
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Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria.
When Baby was sick , we gave her Castoria.
When she was a Child , she cried for Castoria ,
When she became Miss , she clung to Castoria ,
When she had Children , she gave them Castoria.
For LOSIcrFAJlCiO MAKHOOD ;
General and HESVOUS DE3HITY |
Weakness of Body and Kind , Effccta
of ErrorsorEiceaaesinOldoryotjj ? .
Bobast , liable 3A5I100I > fully Itestareil. How ( o eulam acj
StrengtlienWKAK , CSDKTELOPKD ORG1X8 * PARTS OF BODY.
Absolutely cnfalltag HOHK TREATHE5T Benefits In a day.
Den testify from CO State * and F relgn Countries. VTrile then.
Descrlptlie Cook. eipltxsUou tnd proofs mailed ( sealed ) free.
ERIE MEDICAL. CO. . BUFFALO , H. Y.
ALLEN'S TRANSFER ,
Bus , Baggage Dray Line.
F. P. AJLLEN , Prop. ,
McCOOK , NEBRASKA.
IV Vest Equipped in the Qitr. Leave orrifrx
at OosBmercia ? Hotel. Good well wuter TIT-
sbert notice.
F. D. BURGESS ,
PLUMBING ,
Steam and Hot Water Heating ,
North Main Avenue.
McCOOK , - NEBRASKA.
IV A stock of best grades of Hose , Lows
Spriakfen , Hose Reels and How Fixtures ,
ooMtouUjr on hand. All work receive * prorxsl
tUntieo.
J. S. McBRAYER ,
House Mover % Drayman ,
McCOOK , NEB.
{ r House and Safe Moving a Spec
ialty. Orders for Draying left at the
Buddleston Lumber Yard will receive
jrompt attention.
SCHOOL BOOKS
AT
The Tribune Office ,
At Publishers' Prices ,
BLANK BOOKS. tKGAL BLANAS.
Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria ?