f > Throuph all tho silent roetnu , from fur away ,
5 The llsht cHinw Holtly , sc Wm tor my love ,
% ' Through all tho silent roomn day after duy
f .And goo * up horrowing to its homo ahove.
*
* * WitiKnd ! dumb look , with upoechlesH nuctj-
uomng.
St tdopu ho Hoftly through tlio open doors ,
Where nil day Jon ; ; tho mnploahadownswing ,
, Alike an BpechlesH , o'er th vacant II0017 * .
I wonder much that through the whole round
year.
Fntient aud sad , but hopeful an before ,
It still cornea Hooking that which is not hero ,
. The dear bright lace which we fihnll hco no
snore.
' I-wondermuch thoHimlightdoth not know
Or may not guess tho mute and wondering
t lightr-
That * ho hath gone now whore thclilioi * blow ,
Uy living wateru , far beyond tho Night.
* 0 sunlight , go up highoil In tho blue
"With harp and cronnu and white roben
clone by Him.
Thy master thou wilt mi rely find a new
And glad young angel with tho cherubim.
IHerftwoet face still the flame wo loved , but
, bright
4 "With glorieH which we saw not ; and her brow
1 -Crowned with tho light which Jesus givea a
light
Burning and radiant and immortal now.
WHY I HATE A BLAZER.
A man spends a year of his life get
ting ready for a wife , and after the
courting and ceremony are over he
finds that even those first few days
are not the drenm of bliss that lie
anticipated. His blushing bride
brushes her teeth and looks absurd
I with her mouth full of foam , and has
I no hesitancy in letting him see that
I a few of her curliest locks grew on
I somebody else's head. Ho resigns
I ihimselfto the enevitable , and after
I he gives up expecting unalloyed bliss
I lie settk-s down rather happily alter
I I had arrived at that state. I had
I keen head over ears in love with Ju-
I lia , and had worked like a beaver to
I make a home for her that would not
I let her be to homesick for the luxu-
ries of the paternal mansion. She
I was not my first love by any means.
I I had always a sweetheart or two
I since I could remember , and had
I been engaged once or twice , but I
I never had been an abject slave of the
I Mnd god until I met Julia.
I Yet now , as I set out in my vine-
I -shaded veranda aud blew my cigar
I -smoke toward its pale green painted
I -ceiling , I wasglad that Julia and the
I -children were enjoying themselves at
I Seabright , and that I could have a
I taste of bachelor quiet and freedom
I Tor a couple of months longer. I
I didn't care to go anywhere , but
II when I saw my old friend , Dr. Marsh ,
coming up tho walk I was very glad
I to see him , and drew up another
I comfortable chair and rang the boll
I for John to bring out a box of cigars
and to put some bottled beer on the
Hi ice. George Marsh and I had been
If * J > oys togetlrer.
* . He sat down rather heavily. The
H ; \ dignity that he had assumed very
I ; -early on account of his profession
j - seemed to have got into his joints
I and burdened his limbs. Still there
H' 'were only faint touches of it here and
Hi "there in his conversation usually , but
1 -to-night he seemed almost lugubrious ,
H and if it had been anybody else but
B George Marsh I should have said
I that he was embarrassed. Presently
H .he said he had a piece of newb fer me.
HI My aunt , Mrs. Saltor , was back at
the Beeches.
H It seemed a little odd that I should
H first hear of a relatives return from
H her physician , but considering all
H things it was not.
H "Your cousin , Miss Nelly , is with
H ner , " George went on , looking intent-
H ly at his cigar , which he lu'ld in his
H Angers
H "And is she as pretty as ever ? " I
H asked idly. "I must go over and see
them. "
H "You were engaged to Miss Nelly
H -at one time , were you not , Dick ? "
H vGeorge said :
H "Yes , I believel was , "Isaidlaugh-
H ing. "But that was ten years ago.
H Little Nell was only 16 years then.
H It was long before she began to read
H Herbeit Spencer and Schopenhauer
H and to write magazine articles. As
H eoon as her mind begun to bud she
B dropped me. "
H "She has been terribly ill , " Marsh
H aid , and to tell you the truth , Dick ;
H that is why I came to see you this
H -evening. She has been studying too
H lard , and it resulted in a sort o
H "brain fever , which has temporarily
H -destroyed her momory of the time
H gince she began studying. She has
H thrown off the overload , and in mind
H .she is the little Nelly of 10 years
H go. "
I sat staring at him in horrified
-amazement. Nell Saltor , the pride
H -of the family , insane !
H "It is of course only a temporary
I thing , " Dr. Marsh said , hastily , "ana
I aiobody must know of it , but she re-
-quires the most delicate treatment.
H TThat is why Mr. Salter has brought
H her down to her country home. Miss
H Ifclly imagines they have never left
H it , and the physicians want gradual-
H iy to lead her mind onward just as nat-
H tire did in the first place. Of course
H there will come a point where she will
H recognize the fact that she has
H been over the path before , and then
H her memory will return and she will
H be cured. "
H "That is a very clever idea , " I
H "We think it the natural treat-
H m nt. And I came this evening to
I a.k you to help us. I knew your wife
I would be away Tor some time yet.
B and except for your daily visit to the
B factory you had considerable time on
B your hands. "
B "Yes , indeed , " I said , eagerly , "you
B may rely upon me to do anything in
B anypower. "
H Dr. Marsh pulled at his cigar for a
B few minutes and then he said again :
I "You were engaged to her about
then. "
I I felt startled.
I "She thinks you are still. Bemem-
I "her , these ten years are a blank.
I Her mother tells me that she is fret-
ting and pining because you have
I not been to see her. "
"But "
I "Of course , I understand your feel-
I ing , " Marsh broke in. "but after all
he is your cousin that you were
I. brought up with , and it is only a
m temporary thing , and if you could
I Suimor her for a little while
I
[ "Humor herl Do you think she
! she would seo the Dick Edgar of ten
years ago in mo ? " I asked nlinobt
angrily.
Mnrflh looked at mo critically.
"Well , I don't know , " ho said. "It
i your beard that changes you and
tho way you brush your hair and
your clothes. If you could change
all Unit- "
A momentary picture of myself of
ton years ago came up before me.
And I think Marsh saw it too , for we
both laughed.
There is no use in going over the
rest of our talk. Sullice to say , that
before the iced beer was gone I had
promised for the sake of humanity
aud tho love I boro my sweet aunt
and nfliicted cousin to do my best to
turn back the wheels of time for ton
years and go out to the Beeches the
next da3' as tho rather dudish young
lover of my pretty cousin.
After I went up stairs I stood at
the mirror in my dressing-case a long
time. AVas it true that Dick Edgar
often 3'ears ago was only hidden un
der a suciperlial layer of hair and
dress ? I took up the comb and drew
a part down the center of my head.
It was becoming. I had only given
up wearing my hair like that on
.Julia's account. She thought it fop
pish. Her little basket stood on a
table near with the scissorj gleaming
temptingly. I had promised , and it
had to 1)0 done ; but I didn 't half
mind seeing my cherished whiskers
drop. I felt oddly , as though I were
getting rid of some sort of a disguise ,
and in the course of a half hour I
stood beforo tho mirror with smooth ,
plump cheeks and a little upward
curved mustache.
I undressed and got into bed with
the nimbleness of 25 and forgot to
wish for Julia at all.
The next morning I spent an houi
in combing my mustache down and
parting my hair very much on the
side before I could muster courage to
go down to breakfast and face the
servants.
"I hardly knowed ye , sir , " old John
said , with the lamiliarity of long ser
vice.
"It is cooler so , " I said. "And , by
the way , John , take this telegram
down and have it sent off at once. "
It was to the tailor who had ar-
raj-ed me in the gorgeousness of my
youth , and whom I had cut for
economic reasons since 1 had been a
benedict. I told him to send down on
the noon train anything in the way
of collars , hats , ties or coats that
was new and suitable for summer
wear in the country. And then I
went off for my usual morning at the
factory. The box was waiting for
me at 1 o'clock when I came home ,
and I told old John to have the dog
cart ready at 2. At half-past 2 I
drove out at the gate , and old Mr.
Morehouse , who had tho opposite
place , looked up and gave me a sort
of gasp as I lifted my hat to him.
I had on a pink and white striped
shirt , a high collar and big white tie ,
a yellow and white blazer and a sailor
hat with a polkadotted band. Iknew
people would talk , but it was no
body's business how I chose to dress ,
so far as I could see. As I drove into
the handsome beech avenue that gave
its name to the old house where my
aunt and cousin lived it seemed al
most as though I had suffered a
loss of memory as well as poor Nelly.
My heart had quite a youthful throb.
My aunt had none of Mr. Morehouse's
astonishment. See had not seen me
since my marriage , and she had been
living among people to whom blazes
of gaudy hues were as the sands of
the sea. Her eyes were tired with
weeping over her cherished child , but
she brightened with hope at tho
thought of my helping her to lead
Nelly into the light again.
"While we were talking of her she
came in , and then I always thought
it was the rest of us who were bewil
dered. Surely ten years had not gone
over her head. She had on a short
white frock , with elbow sleeves and a
scarlet sash. Her yellow hair was in
a big golden cable down her back
and waving in a fringe across her
pretty white forehead.
There was the same seashell color
in her cheeks , the same roguish look
in her eyes that was there before she
began tb think with Herbert Spencer
and get a shadow in their blue depths
by looking on the dark side with
Schopenhauer.
"When she saw me , she gave a little
cry , and flew straight into my arms.
"You naughty boy , " said she. "I
don't think I ought to speak to you.
"Where have you been these two days ? "
And as I kissed her sweet firm lips ,
I said in my soul , "She is my cousin
after all. "
Presently she looked me over.
"Dick , " she said anxiously , "you
have been working to . hard. There
are wrinkles all around your eyes. "
"You know I have the factory
now , " I said faintly.
"You ! " and she fairly screamed.
"You ! TVhatinthis world do you
know about a factory ? " Alas ! I
couldn't tell her of those weary years
ofworkingformy present position.
My aunt made signs to me over my
cousin's head , and I changed the
subject.
I don't attempt to explain it , but
by the end of a Aveek all sense of the
strangeness of my position had van
ished. I went to the factory in my
blazer , and I am afraid that some
times I transacted my business very
much as though I were the inexpe
rienced boy of 25 that I looked.
But the Beeches was a large estate
and 1113' aunt and cousin rarely left it
during their visits to tho place. So
there was little chance for gossip
connecting me with my cousin in any
unpleasant way.
The only times when I was bound |
to grow old was when I wrote to Ju- j
lia , and before a week was over , and
Lwas in the full swim of mynewly ac
quired youth , an accident happened
that put me out of that. I sprained
my right thumb and could not hold a
pen. I telegraphed and told her and
added that I would telegraph every
other dav , which I religiously did.
Or rather Mr. Smith , my bookkeeper ,
did it for me.
Nelly and I wandered about
through the old groves , finding here
and there truelovers ' knots that we
had cut in the smooth back of the
beeches long ago. "We used to carry
a little basket " that held our lunch
and a volume of poems or a new
novel.
Thcro were a great many clover j
littlo novels that Nellie had not read.
Of course wo had to keep magazines
and everything with a date otitof her
way. Ono day in going over tho
library shelves I came across an old
book that gavo mo tho shivers. It
was Mullock's "Is Life Worth Liv
ing ? " It was that that had first
started Nellie on tho path that had
led her away from mo long ago. In
stinctively I hid it behind a row of
encyclopedias. And then I know
that I was playing tho part of a trai
tor. I had been excusing myself
from my perilously pleasantposition
by tho assurance that I was tho only
person who could lead Nellie into her
true life. And when I saw the door
open beforo her I ran to close it.
I took tho book out again and
took it with me when we wont on our
morning ramble. When she saw it I
trembled. But instead of picking it
up as I expected her to , she looked
at it scornfully and flung it down.
"Dick , " she said , poutingly , "you
aro too tiresome ! What do you sup
pose I want with stuff like that ? "
There was agreat guilt of throb of
joy in my heart.
" I It has a red cover , " I said ,
lamely ; "I thought it was a story. "
Just then she saw the corner of an
envelope sticking out of my pocket-
It was Julia's last letter that I had
received that morning , and had not
even opened. She gave it a littlo
ierkand pulled it out. Julia writes
the Eastlakey ultra feminine hand of
ten years ago. And the thick letter
lay proclaiming itself from a lady.
Nelly looked at it and then sho
looked at me , and there was the sar
casm of inexperience in her eye and
voice. "You have no sisters , I be
lieve she said icily.
"This " I said in my quietest tone
"is from the wife of a friend of mine.
A lady 30 years old and the mother
of two children. She writes to me
sometimes and gives me good advice
and tells me little anecdotes about
the children. I will read you some of
it if you like. "
Bless her heart ! She turned and
kissed me on the cheek and said pity
ingly :
"Poor boy ! How you do let your
good nature make a martyr of you.
Don't you find them awful bores ? "
"Yes , " I said candidly. 'Whenthe
advice is extra good I do. "
"And do you answer them ? "
"Well , " I said , "this is the tenth I
havehadsincelansweredone. " Which
was the truth. I don't call a tele
gram that is sent by a book-keeper
an answer to a letter.
Going home across the fields we
came to a ditch.
"I don't seem to remember this
ditch here , " Nelly said. "And how are
we ever going to cross ? "
"I'll jump it , " I said , "and lilt you
over. "
"Oh , but Dick , dearest , you can't , "
she said. "I am too heavy. "
"Heavy ! " said I. "Yes , you are.
Why , my boy Johnny could jump
this with you in his arms. "
"Your boy Johnny ? Who aro you
talking about ? You do say some of
the funniest things ! "
"Oh , " I saik , airly , "I mean the lit
tle son of the lady whose letter I was
showing you. He is a great pet ol
mine. "
We walked along silently for a lit
tle while after th ditch was jumped
and then Nelly said in a dreamy sort
of a way :
"Dick , sometimes you seem differ
ent. You don't laugh as much as
you used last Summer. " Dear heart !
Last summer was eleven years old !
"And brus
you seem more
que some way. I am afraid
you are working too hard , dear
Dick. And some way you seem fond
of me in a different way. You don't"
and the clear red of a sweet young
girl's blush went all over her cheeks
and brow "kiss me as often as you
used and you act like you thought
I was going away presently. "
She finished the sentence with her
head on my breast and I kissed her
often enough to makeup for any lack
that had gone before , and cursed my
self in my heart for a black scoundrel ,
and doubly cursed Marsh , who had
got me into this scrape.
As I went home that night I made
up my mind to end it one way or an
other. She would have to he told
sooner or latter that I was 35 years
old. That I had been deceiving her ,
that I had a wife and two children.
The sweat stood out on my face as I
thought of it. Julia would be coming
home in a few weeks , and I felt that
T. would rather drown * myself than
face poor Nelly with my wife , in her
present state of mind. As I entered
my own door John met met me. I
was conscious that he looked with
much disfavor upon my youthful ap
pearance and dress and judged that
my habitual absences were lor no
good.
He handed me a card on his tray
and told me that the gentleman was
in the library.
The card read :
"John William Abernathy ,
Andover. '
John William Abernathy I knew as
a professor of mental philosophy at
a noted seat of learning. I could not
imagine what he could want with me.
As I entered my pretty little library
a tall , gaunt , grizzled gentleman in a
long tailed coat rose to meet me. His
forehead was bald and shiny , and his
small eyes glimmered behind glasses.
He evidently was surprised to find
so youthful a host. Some of my in
novations in the factory have been
talked about , and may have even
penetrated mental philosophy circles.
He began at once to tell me his
business. He wanted to ask after my
cousin Nelly ( "Miss Helen , " he called
her ) ; if she had sufficiently recovered
to see her friends. Mrs. Saltor had
written him severaUveeksbefore that
her daughter's health was still in a
very precarious state , and she could
not be disturbed by letters or visits ,
but Professor Abernathy had heard
in some way that she had been out ,
and before he attempted to seek her
he would like to know her true state.
And then he smiled a little and gave
me to understand that "Miss Helen" I
had given him the hope that she
would eventually give her life , in sick
ness or health , into his keeping.
In the most polite manner I could
muster Itold him that 1 thought he
had beter wait until Mrs. Saltor
signified her will * . 'm to allow her
daughter. As yet she had eeen no
one but her physician and myself.
After promising to ask Mrs. Sal-
tor's permission for the oldorly love
to see her daughter I bowed tho pro
fessor out , and ; sitting down in my
hands and groaned aloud. And then
I walked tho floor.
In tho midst of my agony there
was a ring at the door bull. I com
posed my face as much as possible
and sat down.
My visitor was Mr. Smith , the
bookkeeper at the factory ; and he
had a telegram in his hand. It only
needed that to make my position
past endurance , it seemed to me , for
the telegram was from my wife , and
said : , rWill be at homo Tuesday at
6.30. "
To-morrow was Tuesday. I did
not spring up and clap my hands for
joy.I .
I wondered why Mr. Smith had
thought it necessary to bring * the
telegram instead of sending it by a
messenger ; but presently I dib-
tcovered.
After numerous very embarrassed
apologies , ho said that he thought it
.his duty to warn me that there had
been a great many remarks made Ly
meddlesome people concerning my
( changed manner and appearance , and
• some of the conservative old stock
holders in the factory were becoming
alarmed. "Althoughit seems apity , "
• Mr. Smith said laughing shortly ,
j"that a man can't buy a new coat
.without laying himself out to a
charge of insanity. "
1 Good heavens ! had it come to this !
I must have looked like a fool. I got
Mr. Smith out of the house , and I
wentup stairs and took three times
, as much brandy as was good for me
, and went to bed. I felt that if I didn't
: havesleepl would blow my brains
out.
' It was 11 o'clock next day when I
awoko.
I told John to bring me in some
.strong coffee and I sat miserably
down.
I sipped my coffee , and the clock
was just on the stroke of 12 when
John came in again bringing a note
in his hand.
I took it feeling that it made no
difference what happened to me.
Wasn't the end of the world coming at
.6.30 P. M ? My head was whirling.
[ It was a severe looking little note on
.commercial paper , and this is what it
[ said :
1 "I can not find words to express my sense
of horror at the base advantage you a rela-
'tive , and a man who bears the name of gen-
| tlemen have taken of a woman defenseless
j through illness. To-day while walking I en
countered Professor Abernathy , and atone
jrush my memory returned , making mo hor-
'ror-struck at the ignominious position you
• abetted by Dr , Marsh and my mother have
( striven to place me in. I only hope that your
ipoor wifo may never know the circumstances.
iShomust have enough to bear in her daily
; life. I can not long live with my mother and
.shall marry Professor Abernathy at once. To
him yon will be good enough to return my
'ring which you wear. Yours unforgivingly ,
Helen Jane Sai/tok "
I dragged myself upstairs and took
out my razors. I lighted a match
and burned Helen's letter , and then I
shaved off that frivolous little mus
tache and left my face clean and bare.
I bundled up all the new shirts and
collars and hats and coats and told
John he might have them on condi
tion he took them out of the house
and sold them at once , and then I
parted my hair just over my right
ear and put on my shabbiest old
clothes and went to the factory.
I had nearly as many stares as
greeted me when I first appeared in
my yellow and white blazer , but my
looks encouraged no remarks. That
night when Julia saw me she gave
a little scream.
"What have youdone to yourself ? "
"Only shaved to strengthen my
beard , " I said. "I thought it would
grow before your return. "
"I rather like it , " she said.
The next morning at breakfast
she took in my shabby gray suit ,
and said : "Dick , why don't you wear
a blazer around here all the men
at the shore "
"Hang a blazer ! " was all I said.
The Protest and the Reformation.
There sometimes appears to be a
woful confusion , in the minds of those
who ought to know better , of the
Protest with the Beformation. His
torically the connection between the
two does not by any means appear
so very plain. In fact , for some years
the Protestant Church of England
was still completely unreformed.
Henry VIII. wrote against and per
secuted reformers ; yet Henry VIII.
was undoubtedly the first Protestant
monarch of England , the first who
asserted , to its full logical conclu
sion , tho independence of Papal au
thority which had been claimed by
English Icings as early as William
tho Conqueror.
According to the "Dictate" of Greg
ory VII. , the famous Hildebrand ,
kings only reign as fiefs of the Pope
he is set over the secular powers ,
and is liable to dethrone sovereigns
and to absolve subjects from their
allegiance ; he can depose bishops
without synodical sanction. It is
curious to notice , from a recent ser
mon of Cardinal Manning , that this
eminent ultramontane holds that
such powers still divinely inhere in
the bishopric of Borne , though tho
stress of external persecution pre
vents their exercise. Protestants , as
such , merely repudiate these claims.
The Beformation in England owed
much of its success to the Protest ,
but it is not an identical , it wiss
scarcely even a contemporary move
ment. It was , humanly speaking , a
distinctly intellectual reaction. It
resulted immediately from the new
light brought by the revival of let
ters , particularly from the study of
Greek , and the new means of interpre
tation which a knowledge of the
original tongue of the New Testa
ment supplied.
In the light and liberty of the Be-
naissance men's minds , on a review
of Christian antiquity , turned away
from error and superstition just as
naturally as a renewed acquaintance
with the models of the Augustan age ,
and the sources of Greek speculation
in Plato and Aristotle , caused think
ers and scholars to repudiate monk
ish Latin and monkish philosop hy ,
The Churchman.
Some PocilinrUies : of Literary Women ,
Joseph W. Qavnn in the Joumnlist.
It has been ofttimes said , and tho
saying 1ms gonouiicontradictedthat
the great majority of our literary
women acquire that valuable acquisi
tion , "talent , " at tho price of femi
nine charm. Their pnssiveness on
this particular point makes the story
all the more worthy of credence.
If these remarks are in tmy way ap
plicable to tho great army of prose
and fiction writers , they aro far more
closely allied in their signification to
the chosen few who invoke the muses'
aid. Of these Now York city and
state claim the largest number ; but
of their idiosyncrasies it can also lay
first claim with especial pride. Many
of them are not unattractive , and
not a few are gifted with rare person
al charm. But it does not require a ]
microscopical survey of their garb , j
headgear and other articles of fomi-
nino wardrobe to behold the utter
lack of care bestowed on this branch
of millinery. Can it be possible that
they neglect all self-attention in the
exuberance of their imagination , or
that other causes ait ) not found
wanting ? I know not of one literary
woman throughout the length and
breadth of this continent whose at
tire and general make-up is not
something more or less ludicrous or
flaunting. This does not reflect on
their originality and ingenuity. Take
for instance , Mrs. Ella Wheeler AVil-
cox. She is a fair representation of the
class of which I write ; is pretty ,
courteous and charitable to a fault ,
and , though gifted with ) a great deal
of social acumen and lore , still her
manner and style of dress i& as un
becoming as it is grotesque. Not
that she is adverse to appearing to
her best advantage in publicforsev -
eral of her friends assure methat to
attain this end is the all-absorbing
ambition of her life. But it either
arises in each instance from a unique
and perhaps circumspect opinion , or
the product of an abnormal brain ,
in turn the victum of genius , , the
noblest of nature's laws for it has
been asserted by eminent medical
experts that productions from the pen
of a female possessed of real genius
are not and cannot be the outcome
of a healthy brain. The homes of
many of our literary women strongly
point in favor of this assumption ;
but when the question of prevailing
style most in usage is consideied it
will be found that our literary female
friends are far below the average
shop girl , and many beneath the
plane of others in humbler spheres of
life. A wonderful inconsistency , isn't
it ?
There's many a Slip Tiwxt the Cup ami
the Lip.
From American Notes and Queries.
This proverb occurs in one form or
other in the folk-sayings of most
European countries , and dates back
to classical antiquity. The Latin
version , "Malta cadunt inter calicem
supremaque labea , " "Many things
fall between the cup and the lip' * is
found in Laberius. and the Greek in
Lycophron , who tells this story of its
origin.
Ancreus , son of Poseidon and Alta ,
was a King of the Leleges in Samos ,
who took especial pleasure in the
cultivation of the grape , and prided
himself upon his numerous vineyards.
In his eagerness he unmercifully over
taxed the slaves who worked there. A
seer announced that for his cruelty
he would not live to taste the wine
from his grapes. The harvest passed !
safely , and then the wine-making ,
and AncflBus , holding in his hand.a
cup containing the first ruby drops ,
mocked at the seer's prophesy. But
the prophet replied "many things
happen between the cup and the lip * '
Just then a cry was raised that a *
wild boar had broken into the vine
yard , and the king , setting down
his untasted cup , hurried off to direct
the chase , but was himself slain , by
the boar.
a acj'
The Highest Mountains
From the New York Sun.
Every once in a while wediscover
that some mountain peak must give
up the undeserved distinction confer
red upon it of holding its head high
er than all other summits. For a
long time Mount Cliimborazo was
supposed to be the highest mountain
in the world until in the progress of
the Himalayan surveys Mount Ever
est was found to overtop it. Four
years ago W. W. Graham , who has
been higher above-the sea than any
other mountain climber , , asserted
that Everest mtfst yield the palm of
supremacy to anunnamed peak about
70 miles from it. We long supposed
that Mount St. Elias was the loftiest
mountain of North America , but we
now know chat the honor belcnjrs to
Mount Wrangel , which is about 500
feet higher than St. Elias. Itvas
also supposed that Mount Kilima-
Njaro , 18,700 feet high , was the
greatest elevation in Africa , but now
comes Count Teleki , the Hungarian
traveller , with the assertion that this
mountain must play second fiddle to
Mount Kenia , about 200 miles north.
He is the only man who has yet as
cended Kenia.
A Child's Terrible Aili cut ure.
From tho Macomb (111. ( ) Journal.
The youngest child of W. M. Tip
ton , a bright little fellow of two sum
mers , was out in the yard playinir ,
and when found by his mother
shortly afterwards he was trying to
put a live rattlesnake into a bottle.
The little fellow was fondling it and
would lay it down and pick it up
again , the snake all the time being
perfectly passive and making no
effort whatever to bite. The moth
er's horror can be better imagined
than described when she took in the
situation. Sho called her husband ,
who came , and when the snake was
laid down he grabbed the child and
killed bis snakeship.
i
t
A MINISTER'S FUN.
" '
' '
II I I
"During n twenty year's experience
in tho work of tho ministry. I have
met with tho most laughable scenes
whero one would expect nothing but
churchlike solemnitysaid a 'well
known minister to a Kansas City
Star reporter.
"I have stooxl by tho sick and the
dying nndhavescen incidents worthy
of description by a humorist's pon.
I have stood at the marriage altar
where the very airbreathed solemnity ,
and have with difficulty kept down
laughter over some ridiculous sceno
or situation. A minister ' slife is full
of rich and happy changes , and I pity
the man who can pass through such
a life an exemplification of a walking
tombstone. Poor man ' , he never
learned the secret of life !
I was fresh from theological
seminar } ' , and had entered upon the
duties of my first charge at a salary
of $ o00 a year. Never shall I forget
those days nor the novel way ono
brother insisted upon paying his
part of the minister ' s salary. Thi
dear , good pillar of the church kept
a small country grocery , and one
day , while making my pastoral callr
I stepped into the establishment of
the brother to inquire after his-
spiritual welfare. He motioned mo
to where he was seated , and after
finishing hfs pipe of the vilest tobacco-
I ever smelled , began :
" 'I aint mnch good anj'how , par
son , , and don't deserve a very large
share of the kingdom , but durn mo if
I don't want to do the square thing
by you , so 111 contribute § 10 ; to be
paid in peanuts. '
"I took thefirst installment and1
retreated soon after , wondering all
the time what some of my young
ministerial brethern would say to-
such a pastoral call
"One night shortly after this I
made-apastoral'call at the home of
the young lady who afterwards be
came my wife. While there an ignor
ant , but good meaning , country fel
low came to the door and asked for tho
minister , saying he understood that
personage was there. He was invited
in and I was called to meet him. Af
ter blushing profusely and making
several ineffectual attempts to make
known his errand , he managed to say
in broken sentences , with tears , as it
were , in his voice :
'I I want to I come to see you
abo that fsr what will you charge to
ma marr marry me ? '
"When informed that there was no
regular charge , that any donation
would be gladly received , he opened
his heart to the extent of a cord of
wood and the bargain was closed , ,
but what lwas to do with such a
barter was mystery to me.
"On another occasion at a social
meeting I had become quite eloquent
in prayer , and I'm afraid lenghty. I
had prayed for the sick , the afflicted ,
the absent ones , the heathen at home
and abroad and had importuned
blessings upon everybody on the
earth , sea or in heaven , and reached
the 'now finally , Lord. ' when an un
thinking brof her , whose heart was all
right , called out , 'Amen ! amen ! ' so
frequentlv and the situation seemed
so ridiculous that I brought my pe
tition to a most speedy close , even
more speedy than I had intended ,
after the 'finally. '
• 'That was twenty-five years ago
in a small New England village , and
I've served better churches since then.
At one of my city appointments I had
an experience in a wedding ceremony
that for an amusing situation sur
passesanything I have ever seen.
The groom wanted a ceremony with
no break whatever , one of the
smoothest of the smooth , , so
he borrowed my ritual to
'pip up' on the questions and answers ,
but by mistake he got hold of the
baptism covenant and committed the
answers-to-it. The wedding day ar
rived , so did the-nervous groom with
his bride , and they walked up the
church aisle keeping step to the grand
old strains of Mendelssohn's wedding
march. I had a premonition of
trouble. The ceremony began.
" 'John , will you have this woman
to be your wedded wife , to live after ;
God's holy ordinance , to love and
cherish in sickness or in health ? "
' • 1 renounce them all , ' answered :
John. '
" ' 'You're foolsaid I him '
a fool/ to nn- <
der my breath.
" 'All this I steadfastly believe/
came the answer and ditto a sound |
ofsurppressedlaughterfromthe audi
ence. There was a hurried conversa
tion between John and me and I then
repeated the question , likewise the
answer to it and to all succeeding <
ones.
"At another wedding the contract
ing parties were a young man. long
and lank , about twenty and five , •
and a fat buxom wi low about forty. ;
The ceremony was performed at the •
parsonage , and on the chair behind 1
the couple was seated a small dog , < '
all cur , as he proved , belonging to '
the woman. As I was about to place '
my hand on theirs already joined , <
preparatory to pronouncing them ;
man and wife , that doirwith a terrific • '
bark made a spring at me , and I was
compelled , for the moment to retreat.
"That reminds me of a similar
though different experience in its
finale. I put out my hand as usual ,
to pronounce this couple joined in
holy wedlock when tho groom startled
me by grasping my hand in a hearty
manner , exclaiming as he nearly '
shook my arm off :
"Put her thar , dominie , for sixty :
days. Count on me every time. ,
What's the damage ? "
• 'I thanked him for his good will
and the ceremony was concluded , '
though it about killed me to suppress
the laughter I knpw was upon me. ]
' • One day I was in my study when
a German brother from the country
came in and wanted me to visit his '
sick wife.
" 'What is the matter with Katrina , '
Hans ? ' I inquired.
" ' 0 , der is somedings the madder
mit her livers and her mind is berang-
ed , dat's vat I dink. '
" 'Well , Hans , you better get a
physician , he can do more good than
I/was the argument I used on him ,
but he wa¬ to be put off.
" 'Mine shimminy grasliions , ain 't
/
you gate in cases of borMigerncnt ? ' "
I have since thought I would mnko
application fbrcheehnpluinryofsorno
insane asylum , and no doubtmycon-
gregation would heartily approve.
"I had a choir down in Now Eng
land that had so much of tho spirit
of the mule in it that I doubt very (
much if its memlxTH ever enter I
through the pearly gntes nd are . .
transferred to the heavenly chorus.
TheyweTekfckingalmo5 continuallyr
and oncey when on a strike , I conclud
ed to bear with them no longer.
They were in their places all right on >
this particular Sabbath morning , but
they hadi informed me that thoy /
would not sing a note until Brother J
, ono of their number , w s reduc- <
ed to tho pews. This I absolutely re
fused to do and gave out as the open"
ing hymn :
Lc4 those refnse to-hfnpc I
Who never knew otrr fioil. I
But children ofthu heavenlv Kinj-r '
May Bpeak rheir joy * aliroail. |
"They sang that hymn and I novcr '
was again troubled by their striking.
The lesson proved effectual.
"A somewhat similar incident hap
pened to a brother minister with j
whomlonceexchanged pulpits. In my j
congregation was a delightful young 1
lady , the brother's intended wife , and'
with her parents he stopped on the j
Sabbath of tho exchange. Theyqung
lady's name was Maiy , and all for
getful of the fact tho * young ; brother '
gave out this hymn : \ 1
0 , that I could forever sit"
With Mary at the Master's fecti
Bo this my happy choi < < > ;
My only caie delight and IiIihh.
My joy , my heaven on earth be thin ,
To hear the IJrideKroom'H voice. '
"They are husband-and wifo now ,
and he is a prominent professor in
an Eastern college , but he often refers
to that day , and as he recounts to a ;
knot of fellow clergymen.his confusion
when he realized from thosmiles of the
audience what he had done , ono '
would scarcely take him : for ni digni- •
fied doctorofdivinity.
" 'Parsonsaid arather seedy
looking individual as ho walked into
my study one morning , 'I want to \
get married. ' Now , thero-was noth
ing strange in that ; in.fact.it was a
most frequent occurrence , but his
tone indicated much nervousnessjand
I tried my best to mako-further con
versation easy to him. Finally after
a strained attempt at several topics , 1
including the weather , he rose to
leave and as he grasped the knob |
of the door he suddenly turned
around and managed to say , after
the manner of ono doing somodisa - /
greeable duty : <
" 'I'm a poor man and can't afford (
to pay for a long ceremony , pardner. '
Make it as short as possible just
enough to tie us. Mary won't catch /
on.
on."Poor fellow ho probably thought
a marriage ceremony cost according
to its length , but I promised to cut it
short and was rewarded by a dona- j
tion of 50 cents.
"This is but one side ofa-minister's .
life. Full of meaning and responsi- '
bility is the other. Li • ' is to short
to always play , too fu'l of responsi
bility , too earnest. But I believe he is
a better man , can servo his fellows
more , whose heart chords are in tune 1
with the great charms ol lives about i
him. This is what a minister's life
lias-taught me. " "
wI3 * - Ciii
Adipose Tissue and Tom per.
"You great , big clodhopper ! " J
shrieked a slender-visa god female , up- ,
on whose aquiline nose a pair of gold * > ,
eye-glasses were cramped as she near- % I
ly pushed a conductor off a .Madison
avenue car the other day.
"I beg yonr pardon , ma ' am , but I / '
did not intend to step on your foot. '
It was merely an accident. "
"Well , why don't you look where \
you ' re going , and you won 't make \
such a fool of yourself ! " ejaculated }
the injured female.
While a New York Mail' and Ex
press reporter was unavoidably list- '
ening to the foregoing dialogue he K
felt someone tugging at the sleeve of \
his coat and turning around saw a i * " * \
"
well-known plrysician who figures / '
prominently in law courts as an ex- / ' 1
pert upon insanity.
"That carries out my idea exact
ly , " observed the doctor. ( ,1 1
"What idea is that ? " asked-there- ' I
porter.
"That women's-tempercomes from ,
their corporosity , " ho continued. "A
fat woman is good-tempered and V *
easy-going ; it is natural that she -
should be so. I think the temper is
all in the bones , anyway , and when a
woman is fat the temper becomes ab- '
sorbed before it reaches the surface. 1 j
Perhaps thatjSatunny theory , young ! i f
man , and you newspaper fellows are I
the hardest lot to get a new idea in- -
to , especially when a n. old man is the [ '
authority for its evolution. Eh ; aro
I right ? "
The reporter demurred.
"When a woman is thin the temper
is on the surface , " the doctor con- *
tinued ; "when a fat woman has a N
high temper it i.s something terrible. *
She never cools. On the other hand ,
a thin woman eools off quickly , but
she heats up again just as quickly. A <
thin woman with a good temper
comes just as near being an angel as .
anybody can be on this mundane
sphere. "
Portraits ou Tickets. * !
A young railroad man of Atlanta •
has come to the front with an inven- ' *
tion in the way of a ticket that will 5
bring him fame and an enviable bank
account. It is simply this : The ' i
purchaser of an iron-clad ticket is 1 .
not to be required to write his name I
or make any formal declaration as # <
to his intention in regard to the tick- * " i
&t. Nothing of the kind. The agent
vcho sells the low-rate round
- trip 4 t j
points his little camera at you while • <
lie gives you your change. It records j /
the image of the purchaser in an in- ' \
stant. The agent pulls out the slide , * |
rubs his chemical sponge over the . , . \
sensitized pap r and there you are. *
In the upper left-hand corner of the
ticket he pastes that picture , puts it < j
under a stamp embosses the edges , ,
and unless you can find somebody '
that looks enough lrke you to risk '
the chance of a return on your image , \
the ticket will carry the original " ,
purchaser and nobody else. Atlantic |
Constitution. . i
1
