WASHINGTON'S HOJIANCE.
HOTT IIo Lovefl.a lassie of High Degree.
TVIio Man-led Ilix Rival , tl c Col
onel , nnd ILivcd iu Style at
tlie Upper End of
Rlanliatfcu Is
land.
A Rare Bit of Ancient History ,
Last Sunday I visited two of the old
est buildings in America , intimately
associated with the romance of Gener
al Washingtons life and equally connec
ted with the career of others almost as
distinguished. Ono of these was the
great Philipse Manor house , now the
city hall ot Yonkers. It was built in
1682 by Frederic Philipse' , the richest
man in the American colonies. In his
youth he was poor , but he was frugal
and energetic , and instead of idling
around , as many boys do , he went into
business as a'save-trader with Africa
and soon rose to tho position of pirate
in the Mediterrean sea. He earned
a great deal of money in these trades ,
v -
FREDERIC PHILIPSE'S COAT OF ARMS.
especially in that of a marine landlord
boarding merchant vessels. Hav
ing got ricn by his savings he came to
New York , joined the Episcopal church
and bought , all the upper half of Man
hattan Island and the whole of West
Chester county. His position was equiv
alent to that of a lord , he was the fore
most man in all things in the valley of
the Hudson. His estate was called the
Manor of Philipseburg. Its headquar
ters were essablished in the A ast , ram
bling building in the heart of the
THE miUPSE MANOR AT YOXKERS ,
"WHERE COLONEL WASHINGTON
MET MARV PHILITSE.
romantic village of Yonkers. This
btill stretches out expansive wings of
white , has a regiment of windows
along both fronts , aud each entrance
is ornamented with stately columns
and corresponding pilasters.
It yas the very ideal of a hospitable
mansion in its prime ; and here , one
winter afternoon in 1756 , George
Washington reined up his horse on his
way home from Boston. It was the
10th of March , and I have no doubt
that , in such a lomely region , the three
daughters of Frederick Philipse Ul.ran
to the windows as the tall , straight
Virginia colonel of 23 halted and hand
ed his re'gn to one of the black slaves
in livery who rode behind. At any
rate , here he remained with his a'd
and servants for many days , and dur
ing this time he laid siege to the heart
of the second daughter , Mary. He was
completely captivated by her beauty ,
winsome manners and fine figure not
less than a million.
THE LADr "WHO ! ! WASHINGTON DID
NOT AVIN.
' To the Virginia colonel's great cha
grin Mary declined the offer of his
hand. He lost no time in resuming
jbis journey , He plunged anew into
the
INDIAN WARS OP THE ALLEGHENIES.
nd Captain Roger Morris , less impet
uous and more patient , won Mary
Philipse. Morris and Washington had
"been companions and friends m the
Braddock expedition , but they were
bitter foes henceforth. They never
met again.
The lucky red-coat captain , with
some of the money that came to him
with his wife , built on Washington
Heights , near the lower end of Ph'.lipse
manor , another great brick house in
the midst of a charming landscape ,
standing so high up on its rocky perch
as to overlook the Hudson and the
East Rivers and the growing city to
the south. There Mary and Captain
Morris lived many years , and children
were born to them , and he was pro
moted to be a colonel.
When the Revolutionary war broke
out. Colonel Morris abandoned the
house and kept his family within the
Brlt'sh lines. In May , 1776 General
Washington rode up to this mansion
and hailed a black man :
"Here , uncle ! Who lives here ? "
"Gunnel Morris , massy ! I3ut he
haint hea'i now. Gone awav way from
hum. "
"Where 5s he ? "
"Doan know , massy ! 'Spect he are
gone to fight the debblisli rebbils down
in Car'liny. Jeslef Uncle Ben to look
arter things. "
"Are you quite alone , Uncle Ben ?
every bod } * gone ? "
"Coase I be ! You don't 'magine mis
sus'ud stay heah , do you , when the
rebbils is all Around and right 'cross
de ribber dere Is dat dam traitor , Gun
nel Wash'ton , as missus calls him ! I
recken she'd be skecred. "
Just then an orderly and a squad of
"debblifch rebbils" ' came up and took
possession of the house and Washing
ton went in and made it the headquar
ters of the American army all summer.
It is a tradition that the lares and pen-
ates of the Morris family were notj
treated very tenderly. Everything
portable that could not be put to mili
tary use was stowed up in the broad ,
lonesome garret.
"As the cradle was brought in from
the bedroom and hurr'ed up stairs , " a
chronicler says , "General Putnam , to
whom the history of the house was un
known , said to his chief , 'That has a
sort of homo look General. ' Wash
ington merelv said. 'Yes ; verv. ' "
THE MORRIS MANSION AT 155TH STREET ,
NEW YORK CITY , WHICH WASHING
TON TOOK I OR HIS HEADQUART
ERS DURINGJIIE REV
OLUTION.
During Washington's occupancy of
the house , three hundred copper
skinned Indian chiefs , from various
sections , called in state to o3er their
allegiance to the struggling American
colon'es , and in the large room , the
windows of which are marked E. E.
in the above pict' re , Washington re
ceived them all , and the pipe of peace
was passed round. This room , with
the huge chandel'er under which the
assembled chiefs met , is one of the
greatest s ghts of lha old build ng.
Wash'ngton does not seem to have
been a very generous enemy. When
the war was over he had a bill intro
duced into the ! New York Leg slature
and passed , which confiscated all the
old Philipse Manor the property of
his old lady love and her brothers , sis
ters and children. Colonel Morris ,
who had rescued some money from
the wreck , soon died , but his widow ,
"the pretty Mary Phil pe , " lived to
be 94 , surviving Washington a quarter
of a century , and breath ng her last in
London. When Lafayette revisited
America in 1824 , he took dinner once
more in the old Morris Mansion ,
where he once had been a member of
Washington's military family.
UNDER THE JUJIELS.
The stale of New York sold the 50-
000 acres under the hammer , and the
Morris place was bought by John Jacob
Astor , and finally became the property
of that fantastic old hairidan , Madame
Jumel. I was shown the spot where
she stood and married that faded gal
lant , Aaron Buir , just before he got a
divorce from her and died.
Madame Jumel dwelt upon the earth
till 1865 , when she was gathered to her
fathers , not wholly faded or jaded at
91. Meantime she had adopted as her
own daughter one May ± 5owne , the
child of one of her former cronies , or
as she alleged , of her own sister Phebe , '
and fifty years ago this adopted waif
gave her heart and hand to one Nelson
Chase. To them Madame Jumel left
her. $4,000,000 home.
The old Morris or Jumel House ,
looks to be 50 years old , instead of 150.
There is a little decay at t he foot of
the long plain , white columns that
hold up the broad , h'gh porch , but not
much elsewhere. Frequent pa'nt has
preserved everything. The great bal
cony gives a supurb view of New York
and distant Brooklyn. Entering the
central door , the visitor finds himself
in a hall as big as. a moderate sized
barn , completely equipped , like a mu
seum , with the furniture and trappings
of the last century. t
Straight through the hall at the end
a door enters into the spacious draw
ing-room , with a gieat fire-place of
brass at the end. Tue furniture is of
solid ebony upholstered in pearl dam
ask , and a"chair is as much as a well-
grown boy can lift.These came from the
Tulleries , being a present from Louis
XVI. or Charles X. they were both
acquainted with Madame Jumel. The
chandel'er is a gigantic old machine of
glass and brass with twenty-four burn
ers , and Madame Jumel bought it of
JVIoreau , one of Napoleon's marshals. ' .
The paper is the same that was on the
walls during the revolution , when
Washington gave his part'es here and !
when the Indian tribes came to visit
him and cast their laurels at his feer4.1
It was the conventional broad frieze
and dado , with birds flying through
a labyr nth ; the groundwork is a light
blue , "and the chief figure is a morning
glory vine , very set in appearance and
rising perpendicular from dado to.
frieze. The whole seems new and-
fresh.
THE CAMP CKE5T WHICH NAPOLEON
CARRIED THROUGH THE CAMPAIGNS
OF MOSCOW AND WATEIULOO.
In one corner of the library is what
looks like a burnt log , some five feet
long. Close examination shows it to
be a leathern trunk , bound about with
brass nnd iron hoops and locked with
a secrst lock. Madame Jumel declared
that she got it from that faithful
.Count Bertram ! who shared with
Napoleon the exile at St. Helena , and
he saM this was the camp-chest which
the Little Corporal carried with him
through the campagns of Moscow and
Waterloo. Under the complicated
chandelier stands an inlaid stand of
various colored marbles , in antique de-
design , and on this the principal arti
cles of vertu are photographs of Cleve
land and Hendricks.
The old manse is a rare and curious
museum , containing thousands of.
treasures and souven'rs , and it is for
tunate that it is in the hands of those
who will preserve it and are willing to
share the enjoyment of it with visitors.
ELI .PERKINS.
He TIslts New Orleans , and Gets tho Im
pression that it is
Blangerous to Flirt vritli t2ae Cre
ole ISeUes.
A. Bomlulsccncc of "War Tluios ID
Virginia.
The old residences of the Creoles are
usually one story. Twenty years ngo
they were covered with terra cotta t'le ,
butTnow they are shingled w.th blue
stone. They are cheap homos and not
very clean. I think § 2,000 will buy a
very good Creole home in the center of
the city.
The Creole is an unenterprising citi
zen.
zen.He
He has no ambition , no hope. He
never takes a'risk. He never build ? .
He is a parasite. He may keep a store ,
but he never works. He calls himsel
white , but he is as dark as a Chinaman
He looks like an octoroon. Nothing
disturbs him. During the war ho
didn't care whether Jeff Davis or Ben.
Butler commanded the town. There
are thousands of them hero who have
never been to the exposition. His chici
aim is to ra'se a handsome family , anc
marry the daughters off well.
It is dangerous to flirt with a Creole
girl. If you call once , the family set
you down as a suitor ; twice , a lover ;
three times and must be engaged.
Then the old man Will tap you on the
shoulder and say :
M'sieu , I would lak to' see yon one
minute alone. " Then conducting JTOU
into the dining-room he will continue :
"Mon ami tek some cognac. You
will fin' it ver' fine. Ah , you lak' it
eh ?
"Now mon ami , you lak to know for
w'at I want see you eh bieu ? I have
notiz yo' attentions to' my daugh
ter "
Then after telling you that he is not
displeased he goes on with his own
family pedigree , and finally gives h's
consent to marry the daughter before
you ask for it
HISTORIC HILLS.
As you pass through Virginia , over
and beyond Arlington Heights , almost
every hill top has a history. To-day
I noticed a little hill out of Alexan
dria. Here in 1861 was a fortification
covering Alexandria and the Orange
and Alexandria railroad. Hereafter
the first Bull Run , I saw the first
straggling Zouaves , from Ellsworth's
regiment. They were gunless and
hatless.
INTO VIRGINIA.
The only bridge from Washington
into Virginia is the historical Long
Bridge. Over this bridge there march
ed , during the war , more than two
million men. First McDowell went
over with 150,000 men , four-fifths of
whom came back after the first Bull
Run. Then McCIellan marched over
with 300,000 men and sat down for a
year within sight of the Capitol. Then
Burnside and Hooker experimented
before Fredericksburg , while McClel-
lan spaded up the swamps of the Chic-
kohominy.
While McCIellan was returning from
the disastrous siege of Richmond , Lee
swept Pope back at the second Bull
Run and then started f or Maryland and
Pennsylvania. Now came McCIellan
back over the same bridge to meet with
Burnside the entire Contederate army ,
at Antietam. Af fcer Ant'.etam and Get
tysburg the entire Union army again
marched back over Long Bridge and
encamped from Arlington Heights to
Fredericksburg. Now came Grant , the
Wilderness and Appomatax , and the
two notorious armies re-crossed the
same bridge , and Lincoln reviewed
200,000 victorious veterans from Geor
gia and Gordonsville.
When I first saw Long Bridge , in
1861 , a squad of Confederates guarded
the Virginia end , while a few regulars
guarded the Washington end. All the
market wagons had to pass both
pickets. It was a common thing , in
the earl } ' morning , to hear a picket
challenge 1 ke this :
"Who gons there ? "
"Marketman , with shad. "
"Advance , marketman , and drop
one shad. "
. - - L
"ADVANCE MARKETMAN ! "
"We are all there are left , " the }
sakl. "All the rest were killed. That
terrible black horss cavalry cut ns all
up , and "At tho end of the Long
Bridge I saw a few hundred more
Zouaes.
"THAT TERRIBLE BLACK HORSE CAV
ALRY ! "
"All killed but us" they commenced ,
"The black horse cavalry "In Wash
ington a few nours afterwards , I sup-
dose I saw .000 Zouaves.
"Yes" they said , wringing their
hands , "a few of us escaped and "
Two weeks afterward a call was
made in Kew York to reorganize the
Zouaves when 1200 responded to the
roll call.
"You see , " they said , "we had or
ders to fall back , and as no one coun
termanded itwe fell clear back to New
York. "
Ingersoll's IJojhooil.
Col. Eobert G. Ingcrsoll is often said
to have formed in bo\hood a preju
dice against oithodoxy , because his
father , a Congregational clergyman ,
reared him so r goiotisly as to deprive
him of every rational pleasure. The
paternal Ingersoll , of whom Robert was
extremely fond , was remarkably liber-
eral , and on account of his liberality
was always in trouble with the mem
bers of his churchand other evangeli
cal persons , who mr.de him very un
happy. This seemed so narrow and
unjust to Robert that he came to hate
the name of Calvinism and all its teach
ings. His hatred has increased with
his year * , and is rigorously expressed
in his anti-religious lecture * . A native
of this state he was born in Amsterdam
his family led a wander.ng l.fe until
they settled , when he was 10 years old ,
in Southern Illinois. For years he
called Peoria his home , but of late he
lias spent most of his timo in Washing
ton , where his legal practice is report
ed to be worth $40,000 per annum.
Albeit an ardent politician he has nev
er held any public oflico except that of
attorney "general of Illinois. After
liaving been beaten in 1860 as a dem
ocratic candidate for congress from
that state , he resolved never again to
seek the suffrages of tho people , and
be has kept his resolution. He refused
in 1877 the mission to Berlin , which
bad been tendered him by the state de
partment. He is doubtless aware that
bis aggressive attitude toward ortho
doxy would be successfully used
against him at the polls. At his house
iu Peoria one day , a visitor seeing a
[ ine edition of Voltaire's works in his
l-brary , asked how much it cost him.
His answer was , "The Governorship of
Qlinpis. " Personally Ingersoll is ex
ceedingly popular. He is a delightful
talker and companion , being full of
interesting reminiscences and humor
ous anecdotes. He numbers among
bis friends many persons whose theo
logical opinions are diametrically op
posed to his own.
Celluloid Wedding Presents.
N.Y. Times.
Up at the Grand Central station the
other day I found an agitated j-oung
man and an agitated young woman.
Bride and groom they were , and it
was a wedding tour they were taking ,
[ n a big Saratoga trunk they had
lacked their silks and their broad-
5loths , along with a toilet set with
which some generous friend had equip
ped them. The toilet set was of cellu-
.oid , and in its rough journey the cel-
uloid had ignited , the good big trunk
was in ashes , and a wedding tour was
wrought to a sharp teiminat oo. This
opens up sad possibilities for the reci
pients of wedding gifts.
A Curious Electric Freak.
Chlcngp Journal.
Quite a curious freak of an electric
character occurred in the telegraph de
partment of this otlice the other day.
A package of lead pencils bound with
a paper band , were lying between the
telegraph keys. All at once the tele
grapher noticed a small spark coming
rom this paper band. The sight was
a novel one to him and he called in an
other member of the stafl'to witness it.
They watched it for a minute or two
and sat sfied themselves that if left as
t was it would soon cause a blaze ,
and the package was removed. This
goes tc show how a fire might possibly
occur , and its origin never be ex-
gained.
A German physician defines the main
difference in the effects of whisky and
) eertobe : "Viskey makes you kill
somebody else. Mitt peer you only
alls yourself "
BILL NYE IN BOSTON.
An Account of a Visit to His Birthplace In tin
State ot Uaiac.
Last week I visited my birthplace in
the state of Maine. I "waited thirty
years for the public to vi&it it , and as
there didn't seem to bo much of a
rush this spring , I thought 1 woulc
go and visit it myself , i was telling
a friend the other day that tho public
did not seem to manifest the interes
in my birthplace that I thought i
ought to , and ho said I ought not to
mind that "Just wait , " said he , "til
the people of the United States have
an opportunity to visit your tomb , anc
you will be surprised to seo how they
will run excursion trains up there to
Moosehead lake , or wherever you
plant yourself. It will be a perfec
picnic. Your hold on tho American
people , William , is wonderful , bu
your death would seem to assure it ,
and kind of crystalize tho affection
now existing , but still in a nebulous
and gummy state. "
"
A "man ought not to criticise his
birthplace , I presume , and yet , if J
were to do it all over again , 1 do not
know whether I would select that par
ticular spot or not. Sometimes I think
I would not. And yet , what memories
cluster about that old house ! There
was the place where I first met my
parents , it was at that time that an
acquaintance sprang up which has
ripened in late years into mutual re
spect and esteem. It was there that
what might be termed a casual meet
ing took place that has , under the al
chemy of resistless years , turned to
golden links , forming a pleasant bul
powerful bond of union between my
parents and myself. For that reason "
hope that I may be spared to my
parents for many years to come.
Many old memories now cluster
about that old home , as I have said.
There is , also , other old bric-a-brac
which has accumulated since 1 was
born there. I took ti small stone from
tho frontyard as a kind of "memento
of the occasion and the place. I do
not think it has been detected yet.
There was another stone in tho yard ,
so it maybe weeks before anyone finds
out thatl took one of them.
How humble the home , and yet
what a lesson it should teach the boys
of America ! Here , amid the barren
and the inhospitable waste of rocks
and cold , the last place in the world
that a man would naturally select to
be born in , began the life of one who ,
by his own unaided effort , in after
years rose to the proud height of
postmaster at Laramie City , Wyom
ing , and , with an estimate of the fu
ture that was almost prophetic , re
signed before he could be character
ized as an offensive partisan.
Here on tho banks of the raging
Piscataquis , where winter lingers in
the lap of spring till it occasions a
good deal of talk , there began a ca
reer which has been the wonder and
admiration of every vigilance com
mittee west of the turbulent Missouri.
There on that spot , with no inherit
ance but a predisposition to prema
ture baldness and a bitter hatred of
rum , with no personal property but a
misfit suspender and a stone-bruise ,
began a life history which has never
ceased to be a warning to people who
sell groceries on credit I
It should teach the youth of this
3'oung land what glorious possibilities
may lie concealed in the rough and I
tough bosom of the reluctant present.
It shows how steady perseverance and
a good appetite will always win in the
end. It teaches us that wealth is not
indispensable , and that if wo live as
we should , draw out of politics at the
proper time , and die a few days be
fore tho public absolutely demand it ,
the matter of our birthplace will not
be considered.
Still , my birthplace is all right as a
birthplace. It was a good , quiet place
in which to be born. All the old
neighbors said that Shirley was a very
quiet place up to the time I was bdrn
there , and when I took my parents by
the hands and gently led them away
in tho spring of ' 43 , saying : "Parents ,
this is no place for usTl it became
quiet.
It is the only birthplace lhave , how
ever , and I hope that all the readers
of The Olobe will feel perfectly free to
go there any time and visit it , and
carry their dinner , as I did. Extrava
gant cordiality and overflowing hos
pitality have always kept my birth
place back. Boston Sunday Olobe.
A Drunk Umbrella.
A most laughable scene was witness
ed at the Plankington House one eve
ning last week. A traveling man i
named Smith was the cause of it all.
Smith has a new-fabhioned umbrella ,
which is tho result of the study of
some genius. The ribs of the umbrella
bave joints in tho center , so that uu-
less the umbrella is spread it looks
like the worst wreck of an umbrella
in the world. The cloth lops all around a
the handle , ribs that look as though
they were broken stick in every direc
tion , the umbrella is half wrong side
out , and any one who should see it in
its demoralized state would not believe
that by a simple turn of the wrist the
umbrella could be spread to perfec
tion , and look like a new umbrella
right out of the store. Any man who
should carry that umbrella along the
street under his arm would at once
; et the reputation of being drunk ,
though ho might be a temperance
aposue. a prohibitionist , or a preacher. )
Tho umbrella has a drunk look , when :
n repose. Smith was showing his
umbrella to some friends , and all had ;
a laugh over it , when somebody sug :
gested that they eo to the hotel and
ool the clerks and guests into the be- :
ief that Smith was drunk , solely on
the strength of the umbrella. It was :
agreed that Smith should let them do d
inything with him that was suggested.
Ele was simply to put his hat on the i
jack of his head , muss his hair up , ;
and let tho umbrella and his friends
do the rest. He was not to stagger ,
or show any evidence of drunkenness ,
except to insist that he did not want
: o go to bed yet. So they went into
the office , and'Smith , with the umbrella ,
under his arm , hanging listlessly )
down to his knee ? , leaned against the
counter , his elbow on the marble , and
lis chin on his hand. The cierk look
ed at him , and the umbrella. If there
was ever a drunken man , the clerk
Is
thought. Smith was. Tho dork turned
to one of Smiths friends and said ,
"Your frond is pretty full. " The
friend said he was trying to get
Smith to go to bed , so the cleric
said to Smith , "Guess you better go
to bed. " Smith raised his head ,
pulled tho umbrella around and laid
it on tho register , and said it was only
ei"ht o'clock , and he didn't want to-
g < ? to bed. Tho clerk looked at Smith , \
and tho umbrella , which was collapsed
all over the counter , and thought it
was tho saddest case ho had setO.
People gathered around and looked at
the umbrella and Smith , and thought ;
he must have been out in a cyclone of
beer. Ono of tho friends asked tho
clerk to call a porter and put Smith to
bed. The bell was rung , and Joe , the
porter , was instructed to show the
gentleman to his room. Joo saw tho
umbrella and winked at tho clerk , as
much as to say ho had dealt with a
good many such guests in his time ,
and ho took Smith by tho arm and
tald him he had bettor como along
quietly to bed , and ho would feel bet
ter in tho moraine : . Smith said he
felt well enough , and did not want to
go to bed , but Joo took hold of his " *
arm , and at a nod from tho clerk ho _ v
urged Smith along towards the eleva- * * |
tor , the umbrella hanging all over , tho
ribs sticking against Joe , catching on
the elevator door and runmng into thOj
elevator man's coat. Smith sat down
in tho elevator , put tho point of tho
umbrella on the fioor , when it turned
wrong side out. and when they ar
rived at Smith's floor ho dragged the / '
umbrella out by tho handle. _ Smith
started off in an opposite direction'
from his room , and Joo caught him ,
and led him tho other way , Smith all'
the time saying ho did not want to go
to bed , he had an engagement to meet
a man at 8:30 , and it was an outrage
to be dragged off to bed in a first-
class hotel in the shank of tho
evening. Joe tried to soothe him ,
and finally got him in his room ,
and Smith laid the umbrella on the
bed and was going to sit down on it ,
when Joe grabbed it out from under
him , told him the umbrella was de
moralized enough without being safe ,
on , and he egan to pull off Smith's
boots , saying , "Now , undress your
self and I will soon have you in bed
and you can sleep till morning. "
Smith"begged as a special favor that
Joe would go away and leave him. Ho
said ho could undress himself easy
enough , and finally Joo went out and
left him. Joe went down the elevator ,
and Smith went out of his room and.
walked down tho stairs , and was
standing in the office with the umbrel
la under his arm , talking with his
friends apparently just as drunk as
over , when Joo came out of the eleva- L
tor. Joe looked at Smith as though '
lie was a ghost , and walked around
birn twice before he spoke , and then
he walked up to Smith and said , "I
thought I just put you to bed ? " Smith f
looked at Joo in astonishment , and
said "I sir but I
, beg pardon , , believe/
I have never met you before. " Jooi
looked again at the umbrella , and atj
Smith , and then he went up the ele
vator to the room to seo if Smith was
there ; Smith hurried up the stairs and
got into the room , and pulled off" his
Mat , and was just trying to get his
boots off' , when Joe wrapped , aud was
told to come in. He opened the door ,
saw Smith and the umbrella , turned
; ) ale , asked if he could be of any help ,
and said there was a man down in tho
office that resembled him a good deal ,
and was about as drunk , and had
mashed his umbrella terrible. Smith
told Joe he could undress , and Joe went
out and Smith put on his coat and went
down the stairs and when Joe came
out of tho elevatar Smith was
looking over the register , with his um-
arella hanging loose , one of the points
in the overcoat pocket of a stranger
who was trying to register. "Stand
back , please , " said the clerk to Smith ,
as he pushed the register to the strang-
or. Then turning to Joe tho clerk
said , "I thought 1 told you to put that
drunken man to bed. " Joe looked at ;
Smith , and his eyes stuck out , and the
perspiration came out on his face as
tie told the clerk that he had put the
other drunken man to bed , that this
was evidently his twin brother , as ho
aad been up to tho other one's room ,
and he was there all right. "Well ,
take this one to the pound , or the re-
frigator , or somewhere , " said the
clerk. At this Smith's friends began
to laugh , and Smith straightened his
umbrella out and looked as sobor as
anybody , and the clerk and the porter
goon found that they had been fooled
by a drunk and disorderly umbrella.
The umbrella has been quite a curios-
ity at the hotel for several days , many
respectable citizens trying to borrow
it to take home to fool their wives
with. Ono gentleman said if ho
should go home with that umbrella in
that shape , his wife would procure a
divorce. Joe said he had been fooled
good many times , but ho never was
so completely taken in as he was by
Smith and the drunk umbrella.
Peck's Sun.
"Treatiner" and Law. i
The failure which is announced of
the "anti-treating" law in Nebraska
tvas a foregone conclusion. No law
zould be framed for such a purpose
ivhich could not be evaded ; and any
law attempting to achieve such a
purpose was sure to be provocative of
jvasiuu. It was one of those invasions
f natural right which man instinc- I
ively regards as a chalenge. It was
safe to predict when tho law passed
hat men who had never treated inly
heir lives would try it once , for v % *
nore purpose of showing their.cod * ,
empt for the law or asserting ' j \ c
independence. The result sho7vs that ' ,
he prediction would have been abun- '
lantly verified. The effort to find '
nethods of evading the law has { iyen ri
very decided impetus to the diV- ' .I
ng habit \J > ;
This is unquestionably a misfortune. ' ' j
Cho "treating" habit is undoubtedly a ( '
rreat evil. It lies at the root of a * "i
rast amount of intemperance. It is I
esponsible for fully fifty per cent , of 1
he drinking that is done , and nroba-
ly for much more. It is the'cause (
nore than any thing else of that "drink ,
ng between drinks , " which has been J
lescribed as the only drinking which '
jroduces drunkenness. Detroit free j
Press. J