CHAPTER XXVII. The Island of AlphoiiHO. Wo had Homo dread of savages , being totally unarmed , wo penetrated Inland with more anxiety than pleasure - uro nt first ; but ere long wo became convinced thnt the Island WUH totally destitute of humnn IntmhltnntH. Not n vcstlgo of wigwam or hut , of road or path , not oven of the smallest track or trail ( Have Hiicli as the wild goats made ) was visible anywhere , and thus wo became Impressed with new emotions of wonder and awe , In tread ing a soil whcro man lived not where no human foot seemed to have trod and where only the hum of Insect life stirred the Bolltudo of that wild island of the South Atlantic. For a considerable distance wo traversed Hat ground that was covered with Hedge grasa , Interspersed by shrubs of bright green. Uoyond this level plain rose a series of ridges cov ered by trees , and those ridges formed the first slope of the great mountain , which watt some thousand feet In height , and also of the great bluff wo had first descried at sea. Wo found AlphoiiHo to bo the largest of a group of throe Islands. It Is a mass of rock nearly twelve miles In circumference. The other two are cavernous and Inaccessible , and every approach to them lu dangerous and dif ficult , In consequence of the foaming of the aca about them , so that during the weary days of our sojourn there wo made no atteufpt to explore them , lest the longboat , In our circumstances a priceless property might bo swamp ed or dashed to pieces. IIIslop Informed mo that ho had read BOinowhoro that In the month of March , 1C06 the sarno year In which the great Columbus died two adven turers of Spain or Portugal , named Tristan da Cunha and Alphonso do Albuquerque , sailed for the Indies on a voyage of discovery , with fourteen great caravels. During this expedition they found three great Islands , which they named after Tristan da Cunha , and elsewhere three others , which wore named from Alphonso , who , after their fleet had been scattered by a great tempest , sail ed through the Mozambique channel. Ho discovered many sea Isles and channels hitherto unknown to the Portuguese tuguese or Spaniards , and ultimately reached the Indies , of which ho be came viceroy for Ferdinand the Catho lic , and died in Ifilfi , holding that olllco. Jt Is very strange that since that remote period no European country has turned thcso Islands to any ac count , as they do not llo more than fifty leagues from the general track of the shipping bound for the coast of Coromandel or the Chinese seas , and in time of war would form a useful and Important rendezvous for a fleet. They llo exactly In that portion of the wldo and mighty ocean where It was fabled and bolloved a great con tinent would yet bo found. The three Isles of Tristan da Cunha , which Ho seine hundred miles distant , bavo now a mixed population of Eng lish , Portuguese and mulattocs ; and a ntrong garrison was maintained there during the captivity of the Emperor Napoleon at St. Helena. Being thus cast away upon n shore so far from the general track of ships wo resolved to make preparations for a probable residence of some time to build a hut wherein to store our pro visions , and to use every moans for adding to our stock , by angling In the creeks , which seemed to abouttl with fish , and by hunting In the woods , which teemed with goats and boars running wild ; by collecting birds' eggs , as the cliffs seemed to be literally allvo with petrels , albatrosses and sea-hens ; and all these exertions were the more necessary , as none could foresee the probable length of our sojourn there. A ship might heave In sight tomor- row ; but a year might pass before one came near enough to bo attracted by our signs. Wo resolved to have a signal-post erected on the mountain top , a bcacon- flre prepared , and amid these and many other deliberations the night closed In and found ua tolerably con tented with our Island , and even dis posed to bo merry over misfortunes that wo could not control. But considerable speculation was ex cited when Billy Wllklns , the cabin boy , who had been In pursuit of a little kid along the beach , returned to us , dragging after him a long spar which ho had found among the layer of shingles , bright shells and dusky weeds deposited by the sea ; and on ex amination this spar proved to bo one of the lower studding-sail booms of the Eugenie , and the same which had part ed from the brig on the eventful evening of the punishment ! / "It Is our own property , " eald Billy , "and may bo useful when wo have a fire to light. " "Boy Bill , wo have a better use for It than burning , " said Tattooed Tom ; " 'tis the mast for our signal-post , al ready made to hand , and we'll step It on the hilltop tomorrow. " For that night wo bivouacked under a large tree , the name and geilus of which were alike unknown to us. At times some were conversing , some slept , others lay waking and thinking , with the murmur of the shining sea close by In their ears ; and I could see the stars of the Southern Cross shin- ' 1 Ing with wonderful brilliance at the verge of the watery horizon. Thn novelty of our situation kept mo long nrwako , and with my head pillow ed on a bundle of dry seaweed , with the sail of the long boat spread over us as an Impromptu tent and for pro tection from the dew , I lay In medita tion and full of melancholy thoughts ore sleep came upon mu , and with 11 confused dreams of the burning ship , of my secluded home , and of " the schoolboy spot , Wo long remember , though there long forgot. " Again I was at Eton ! Again I saw ( ho smooth green playlng-Ilr'lds alive with ardent schoolboys In the merry summer sunshine , and again I heard the clamor of their young voices and the balls rattling on bat and wickets ; again I heard the pleasant green leaves rustle In the old woods of the Tudor times ; or again I was In the shady quadrangles where the monotonous hum of many classes poring over their studies stole through the mullloncd windows on the ambient air ; and In my dreaming car that "drowsy hum" seemed strangely to mingle with the chafing of the surge upon "th * unnum bered pebbles" of the lonely shore close by. At last , overcome by weariness , by lassitude and toll , I slept soundly. CHAPTER XXVIII. Wo Build a lint. My old tutor at Eton used to say , quoting some "wise saw , ' that "a lazy boy made a lazy man , Just as a crook ed sapling makes a crooked tree. " It was fortunate for me , however , whllo on the island of Alphonso , that my habits were those of activity , and that I was never lymphatic by nature. After dawn next morning wo sot about the erection of a hut , though wo had no other tools than a small hatchet and our claspknlvcs. With those wo cut or tore down a great num ber of largo branches , and stuck them In the earth , selecting a place where two angles of impending rock conven iently enough formed two solid walls for our edifice , leaving us but two others to erect As Tom Lambourno said , "tho follow who cannot use a hammer or ax Is only half a man , " so wo all worked hard with such Implements as wo had , until our hut was complete. Wo left an entrance next the rocks by which to- creep In and out , and then thatched or built over the Inter twisted branches with turf , torn up by our hands , and with broad plantain leaves , creepers and all kinds of ten drils that had toughness and consist ency woven to form a roof. At the erection of this most primi tive wigwam wo tolled the whole day , save during the scorching Interval at noon , and cro nightfall It was complete , with piles of dried leaves and seagrass for couches and bedroom furniture. Therein wo placed all our provisions the three bags of bread , two kegs of rum ( which , by unanimous consent , were placed under the solo supervision of Hlslop ) ; our four casks of water wore also brought ashore , though there was no lack of pure springs on the island. In this wigwam wore also placed our blankets , the sails and tackle of the longboat , and then the succeeding days were spent In accumulating provisions ( as wo looked forward with dread to our last biscuit ) , and a signal-post was erected on the mountain. With Probart , the carpenter , and Henry Warren ( two of our stoutest hands ) , Tom Lambourno and I went upon this duty. Alternately carrying upon our shoul ders or dragging in our hands the studding-sail boom , wo tolled through wild and untrodden wastes toward the summit of the great and yet nameless conical mountain that rears its lonely scalp to the height of flvo thousand feet above the waves of the Southern sea. sea.Tho hope that on reaching Us sum mit wo might descry a sail was an ad ditional Incentive to toll up the steep slope without lingering by the way. On leaving a flat savanna of sedge grass wo reached a series of wooded ridges , which form the base of the mountain , at every step rousing clouds of birds , especially a species of black cock , and twlco in the Jungle wo came upon the lair of wild boars of great size and such ferocity of aspect that we wore glad to shrink astern of Tat tooed Tom , who carried the hatchet. This Jungle was exceedingly difficult of penetration , owing to Us density , the number of wild aloes , with creepIng - Ing plants , prickly pears and other tropical weeds , of what kind I know not , twined about them , It was a lit eral wilderness of serrated grass blades , yellow gourds and great squashy pumpkins , like gigantic vege table marrows , all woven Into an In extricable network of leaves , tendrils and branches. In other places wo had to force a passage through thickets of richly flowered shrubs and tall plants , with mighty leaves , the general greenery of the landscape being increased by the many runnels of flno spring water which poured down the fissures of the mountain Into the plain wo had left. By the sides of those runnolo wo frequently paused , and making a cup of a large loaf , tilled It with the cool , limpid water that gurgled over the rocks , to quench our constant thirst ; and for a time such cups were the only drinking vessels wo had whllo on the Island of Alphonso. At last wo gained the summit of Lbo mountain , and with mingled satisfac tion and anxiety In our hearts , uwupt the horizon with eager eyes , Not a sail was in sight ! Far as our eyesight could roach around us In a mighty circle , rolled the waters of the Southern Atlantic , almost tepid with heat , and pale and white , they scorned to palpitate under the rays of the unclouded sun. At our feet lay the whole Inlo of Alphonso and Its two rock appendages , with the encircling sea boiling In the narrow chasms between them with a fury which was the result of contrary currents , and which formed a singular contrast to Us calmness elsewhere. After a brief rout wo prepared to set up the signal-post. Tom took off his shirt , and drawing from his pocket a piece of spunyarn , which a seaman Is seldom without , he lashed his undergarment to the end of the studding-sail boom , and by the aid of the hatchet and our hands , wo Ecrapcd a hole sufllclently deep In which to erect the spar , and then Jammed - mod It hard and fast with stones. As the shirt was blown out flag fashion upon the wind , wo hoped It would prove a sufficient Indication to a ves sel approaching from any quarter that there were people on the Island In want of succor. For some hours we lingered on the mountain-top , In the fond hope of seeIng - Ing a sail , and then returned slowly downward to the beach , where our shipmates awaited us at the wigwam which now formed our homo , and which wo Jocularly designated the cap Ital city of Alphonso. CHAPTER XXIX. A Wild Boar. Wo felt very much the want of fire arms. The air seemed alive with birds the woods with game of several kinds ; and now an old musket with a few charges of powder would have proved more useful to us than the treasure of the Bank of England. Hlslop recovered strength rapidly , and his convalescence Inspired our lit tle band of castaways with now confi dence and vigor , as they had Implicit reliance in his superior knowledge and Intelligence. Wo were never Idle ; for , unarmed as wo were , the task of procuring food for our general store was by no moans a sinecure to those who undertook It. Tom Lambourno and John Burnet , the cook , first brought us a valuable contribution In the shape of a great seallon , which was furnished with a rough and shaggy mane , that added greatly to Us terrible aspect , for It was an unwlcldly brute , us largo as a small-sized cow. They had fallen In with It when It lay basking on the beach. Burnet courageously attacked It. with ono of the stretchers of the longboat , and dealt It a severe stroke on the head. The animal uttered n hoarse grunt and turned upon him open-mouthed , when ho thrust the staff down its throat and held It there till Lam- bourne hewed off the head with his hatchet. Ono or two others were afterward dispatched In the same way ; but wo had to llo long In wait , and could not catch them only by cutting off their retreat to the water. Their hearts and tongues were con sidered the best food by Uio sailors , who broiled them over a fire which we kindled by striking two stones to gether , and letting the sparks fall upon a heap of dry leaves ; and to the dis covery of these Impromptu flints wo were Indebted to Ned Carlton. As for salt , I found plenty of It , baked In the crevices of the rocks up on the beach , where the spray had been dried by the hot sunshine. ( To bo continued. ) ENGLISH JOKES FROM RIVAL. Grocer : "What arc you grumbling about ? D'ye want the earth ? " Cus tomer : "No , not In the sugar. " "Miss Makeup wears her hair just the same as she did ten years ago. " Yes , Tom , but not the same hair. "Is It tru ? that sailors , after becom ing quite old , always stop swearing ? " Old Salt : "My friend , you'll have to aak some ono older than I. " Grocer : "Well , little one , what can I do for you ? " Jenny : "Please , sir , mamma says will you change a sovereign eign for her , an' she'll give you the sovereign tomorrow ? " "Have you broken off your engage ment , old man ? What's the matter ? " "Well , I was hard up , you see , so I quarreled and had all my presents re turned , and was able to realize upon them. Couldn't possibly have raised the money any other way. " "Auntie , dear , Mr. Malor , the artist , has asked mo for my photo ; ho wants to make use of It for his next picture. Ought I to send U to him ? " asked Alice. "Yes , you can do so. but be sure to Inclose with It a photo of your mother , or some elderly lady. It would bo highly Improper to send your photo uy Itself ! " exclaimed her aunt. To Pulnt California Flownr * . Now York Tribune : Paul do Long- pro , the well known flower painter , after spending seven years In Now York , Is transporting both his studio and his entire establishment from West End avenue to Los Angeles , where hb proposes to spend the next three years , dovotlug himself to the portrayal of the beautiful and relatively unknown flora of the Pacific coast. Ho expect * to start next week. Voiilhly , "If that Isn't Just like a womonl Hero two fellows fought over a girl , and she married the loser. " "Perhaps that was a condition of the flght. " IRONY OJ ? JIISTO.RY. SOUTHERN DEMOCRATS FACING TOWARD PROTECTION. They Arc Vrgt' < \ to " ( let Without Delity In Oriler to limp the Horn-fit * of a 1'ollcy Tlint Hug HroiiRht I'roniierlty to the North. "Between prosperity and tradition the choice should be prosperity. " Such la the closing sentence of an article of exceptional Interest which lately ap peared In the New Orleans States , n Democratic newspaper , over the sig nature of "W. H. R. " It Is a conclu sion full of force atiu strength. Well Indeed It would be for the south If It had long ago chosen for Us motto , "Prosperity rather than tradition. " The tenor of the article printed by the States Is protectionist. Obvlousiy written by a Democrat and a former free trader , Us argument Is all the more effective In favor of the support of protection by the people of the southern states. He says : "If the south forces the tariff Issue to the front again It will be detri mental to the best Interests of this section. It is an inexorable fact that the south now needs a protective tariff more than any section of the Union. With cotton and Us other agricultural staples at present prices there Is no apparent possibility in this section of rivaling the north In the accumula tion of wealth as long as the chief lo cal Interest Is agriculture. The south Is naturally the best manufacturing re gion of the country. It has the ores , the coal , the timber and the Intelli gent population to compete In Indus trial enterprises with any portion of the world , and Us future prosperity depends more upon the number of fac tories , that are built here than the quantity of cotton which can be raised to the acre. "The south for years baa borne what was to this section no doubt a bur den In the > orm of a piotectlvo tariff , and at this hour when Us Industrial development has Just begun It would Indeed be superlative folly to cast aside what In the future will not be a load , but a fostering Influence In the development of Us resources. "What the tariff has done In the past for the north It is calculated to do In the future for the south. The In fant Industries of the present are lo cated below the Mason and Dixon line , and it Is a question if a large percentage of northern manufacturers would not soon be better off with free trade and unrestricted European com petition than with protection by tar iff and the south doing as much Indus trially as Its resources warrant. " Thou follows a stirring appeal to the Democrats of the southern states to follow Samuel J. Randall's advice and "get together. " But It Is to be anew now sort of getting together. Instead of maintaining an unbroken front for free trade , as they have done for near ly three-quarters of a century , they are now urged to "get together" on the tariff question and concentrate their strength for the continuation of the protective policy. Perhaps the oddest feature of this rallying call Is the rea son cited In support of the plea for prompt action namely , the possibility that the flourishing Industries of the north may , In a few years' time , de cide to abandon protection rather than see Us aid extended to the establish ment of powerful competing Industries In the south. It Is the dread of such an eventuality that Impels the writer In the States to aay to his fellow Dem ocrats : "The Republican party Is not so ivedded to the protective tariff theory that It will seek to perpetuate the Dlngley or any other variety of tno article a day longer than It serves the mercantile Interests of the states It controls. It would bo the Irony of fate , Indeed , If tariff for revenue only , or free trade , became a national policy at the hour when U would blight the Infant industries of the south like a Dakota blizzard. " Whatever the irony of fate may have in store for southern Democrats In the far future , it Is the Irony of his tory to flnd so queer a turn as this In the meandering ways of politics to flnd the party which followed Cal- houn's lead Into the ranks of free trade chiefly because protection was build ing up New England and the eastern states Into great manufacturing com monwealths whose potency in nation al affairs menaced the south's suprem acy , now contemplating a swift right about face to protection lost that pol icy should bo abandoned by the north through fear or Jealousy of n greai In dustrial rivalry from the mills and factories which the south shall build up by the aid of protection. Politics has furnished few developments more unique than this. In any case , however - over , It U to bo construed as a cheerIng - Ing Indication of the dawn of better things In the south. That portion of our common country will prosper mightily when Us people shall once for all turn their backs upon a past full of mistakes and stand with their faces toward a future full of promise. As "between prosperity and tradition the choice should bo prosperity. " Un doubtedly. VVIiy llutiilliitlnn I * Not The absurd contention sometimes jinde by free traders that our protec tive policy will call forth retaliatory measures from European nations has received another blow from the state ment recently made by Robert P. Porter ter , who Is now abroad for the purpose of studying the commercial situation In Europe , and whoso authoritative knowledge on such subjects cannot be questioned , Mr. Porter said : "The Importance to all European In dustries of American raw materials la so great that It is almost impossible for the continental countries to threat en us with adverse legislation without Injuring themselves. " No well-informed person has ever ( aken the threat of retaliation serious ly. Nations , like Individuals , buy where it Is to their Interests to buy , and European nations have bought from us solely and wholly because U has been to their advantage BO to do. The way In which the matter Is put by Mr. Porter , however , clearly Indi cates the Impregnable strength of our position. We hold an advantage over the rest of the world , not only In our manufacturing capacity , but In the wealth of our raw materials , and espe cially In our capacity to supply food products. The Satisfaction of CravliiRH. In an extended article entitled "Cus tom House Tyranny , " In which wrong Information , lack of Information and bald mlsstatement run a close race and make a "dead heat" finish , the Evening Post , always frantic with rage at the very thought of a protective tariff , fumes forth this proposition : "Tho duty on embroideries of linen , cotton , or other vegetable fibers Is CO per cent ad valorem , a rate sufficiently monstrous , ono would think , to satisfy the cravings of the Protective Tariff League. " Yes ; one would think that such a duty , If honestly paid and collected , would suffice for the purpose for which that duty Is Imposed namely , revenue to the government and protection to competing home producers. But how If this duty bo not honestly paid and honestly collected ? How If payment were evaded and collection thwarted by undervaluation ? How If the sys tematic pursuit of this nefarious prac tice had cheated the government of Us rightful revenue under the law , and at the same time had given to certain dishonest Importers an unfair busi ness advantage over Importers who turned lu honestly valued Invoices and paid full duties on them ? Certainly such a state of things would not "sat- Isfy the cravings of the American Pro tective Tariff League" or of any body else who Insists upon honesty , fair play and the collection of the revenue to which the government Is by law entitled. It Is because of a vigorous Interference with precisely this state of things that the free trade Evening Post froths at the mouth. Jugtlflnblo Homicide. To Ilullil or Not to lliilltl. Henry Watterson , since his Idea of running Admiral Dewey for president on the Democratic ticket has proved to be of "the stuff dreams are made of , " has apparently lost all hope of carrying the country for that party In the immediate future , or else he ex pects that party not to adhere to Ua old-time policy of free trade. At least such would seem to bo the case , If wo are to credit Mr. Watterson with any reasoning faculties whatsoever. Ho uas lately been advising men of money to build now mills. The whole course of events , both past and pres ent , has proved that one of the surest waya to sink good money where It will bring in no protable returns Is to Invest U In mills during the time when free trade Is the prevailing pol icy of the country. Closed mills do not mean profits , and closed mills are approximately the only kind of mills we have under free trade. If Mr. Watterson Is sincere In his advice to men of money that they build new mills , U must be that he la convinced , as well he may be , that the policy of open mills , which Is syn onymous with the policy of protec tion , Is to bo continued. Industrial Inquiry Cards. The American Protective Tariff League is sending out inquiry cards to the employers of labor throughout the United States , asking for Information as to the number of hands employed and the amount of wages paid during the month of March , 1899 , and also the figures for the month of March , 1895. In this way , U is thought , a clear and unmistakable showing may bo made of the great advance in material pros perity that has taken place In the last two years. In order that this Investi gation may be made as thorough and far-reaching as possible , the Tariff League will take pleasure In mailing these Inquiry cards to all who may ap ply. A summary of these Industrial returns will be published in the Amer ican Economist. The Di-nili'St of I.oxols. "Abolish the tariff , " howls the In dependence Conservative , "and prices will seek their natural level. " Yes , the dead level of 1893-1897 under the Democratic Wilson bill. Manchester ( Iowa ) Press. nnil T.ouerliiff , The robber tariff Is still at work raising the wages of labor and lowerIng - Ing the spirits of the Sage of Prince ton Inn. San Francisco Chronicle. lti\l\i > il by Jfrotrrtlon. Under the present protective tarin the wool growing Industry of the United States has been greatly revived and encouraged In the past two years , and the country hay been able to sup ply Its own needs more nearly than In any previous years. We have lm ported only auch material as could not be furnished by our own wool grow ers. Our demands upon other nations necessarily depend upon the amount of wool grown and manufactured here each year. In 1893 wo Imported near ly $43,000,000 worth. The next year It fell to $29,600,000. In 1895 , during the latter part of Cleveland's free trade odministratlon.when our markets were open to the wool manufacturers of Eu rope , our wool Imports reached the high-water mark of nearly 191,500,000. The next year , the first of the opera tion of the Dlngley tariff , the wool Im ports dropped to $57,900,000 , though the following year , owing to causes decreasing - creasing the domestic supply and the congestion of the market due to heavy Importations In anticipation of the tariff , the Imports ran up to $90,000.- 000. Last year , however , they dropped to $26,700,000 , the smallest wool Im ports for two decades. From 1887 to 1893 the average annual wool Imports amounted to $60,000,000. Kansas City ( Mo. ) Journal. Unco Derided , Now Adopted. Sugar fed with a home bounty and shipped to India Is now to have the bounty scalped oft by an Import duty of corresponding amount , the purpose being to protect the vast and Indigen ous trade based on free enterprise and Industry , and which the subsidized products of foreign countries tend to destroy. The economics of sugar are Intricate and curious the world over , from Wall street to Hlndoostan , and the statesman or stock operator who tries to regulate them sometimes finds his hands full. That Is what Lord George Hamilton , secretary of state for India , promoter of the protective scheme for that country , may do , but the soundness of the principle which he advocates Is unimpeachable. Pro tection , spurned and derided for fifty years , dally gains favor In the politics of the empire as the century draws to Us close ; even the relics of the Cobden club being too feeble to utter , forth a bleat of remonstrance. New York Tribune. Protection Times. The failures In April , 1899 , according to Dun's Review , were the smallest in any month since records by months began , 38 per cent smaller than In April of last year , not a third of the amount In 1897 , and not half the amount In April of any previous year. Both In manufacturing and In trading they were the smallest ever known In that month , and In trading the small est ever known In any month , as In manufacturing they were If the larger failures were omitted. The ratio of defaulted liabilities to solvent pay ments through clearing houses was less than 70 cents per $1,000 , against 90 cents In January and $1.19 in March , $7.98 in August and $8.02 in September , 189G. A great share of the risk in the business world has been eliminated. Truly these arc good protection times. I'rt'0-Trailo Inconsistency. Lord Curzon's demonstration that the Indian duties on bountlflod sugar are not only reconcilable with free trade , but carry out Its first principles , is neat , though it lacks the merit of. originality , In so far that Cobden him self made a similar announcement. We are even more pleased with Lord Cur zon's view that free trade principles may , and ought to be suspended when they cease to be utilitarian. Our pas sion for free trade Is founded on the be lief that It is far and away the best policy for this country , but exceptional cases must modify all hard and fast practice. Countervailing duties on bountlfled sugar are as consistent with our free trade views as the existence of a deficit In the budget Is with the sol vency of the nation. London Finan cial News. Should Not He Forgotten. The Democratic theory Is never correct - rect In practice , and the disastrous ad ministration ot Cleveland from 1S93 to 1897 will never bo forgotten. It was then that the Democratic party , for the first time since the close of the civil war , had full control of the gov ernment ; and everybody knows wha * a mess U made of business. The Unit ed States Is just now regressing most favorably and there Is no reason wny we should not still further Increase our export trade. The business men are reaching out for foreign trade , and they are getting U. Wilmington ( Del. ) News. Ill 1000. The Republican party In 1900 will bo more of a unit than for many years past. This has been made poaslblo by the excellent administration of pub lic affairs given the country by Presi dent MoKlnley. Wllllamsport ( Ind. ) Republican. Unworthy of Trust. With Tammany men forming some trusts and blackmailing others , and with Bryan aa the chief agent of the silver miners' trust , the Democratic party asks for the people's trust. Cleveland Leader. A T.OIIK AVnlt. Maid You got homo early , Mr. Blnks. Shall I call Mrs. Blnks ? Mr. Blnks ( who loves a Joke ) Don't toll her I am here. Just say a gentleman wishes to see her In the parlor. "I'm afraid you'd get tired. " "Tired ? " "Yea , sir. She'd spend about two houro making herself pretty. " Now York Weoklx. 1 i