The Omaha Bee
MORN1N G—E V E N INC—S UN PA V
THE BEE PUBLISHING CO.. Publisher
N B UPDIKE, Pre«ident
BALLARD DUNN. JOY M HACKLER.
Editor in Chief Husine** Manager
mem'bTroT THfassociated"press ~~
The Associated Press, of which The Bee it a member.
Is exclusively entitled to the u>e for republicat ion of all
news disratches credited to it or not otherwise credited
in this paper, and also the local news published herein.
All rights of republication of cur special dispatches are
also reserved.
The Omaha Bee is a member nf the Audit Bureau of
Circulations, the recognized authority on circulation audits,
and The Omaha Bee's circulation is regularly audited by
their organisation*.
Entert-d as second-class mattrr May 2*. 190*. at
Omaha pnstofficc, under act of March 3, 1*7 9.
BEE TELEPHONES
Private Branch Exchange. Ask for AT 1 * 1 non
the Department or Person Wanted. ^ ' IllfillC IvUU
OFFICES
Main Office—17th and Farnam
Chicago-—Steger Bldg. Boston—Globe Rldg.
Los Angeles-— Fred !.. flail, San Fernando Bldg.
San Francisco—Fred 1 Hall, Sharon Bldg.
New York City -270 1-adison Avenue
Seattle—A. I.. Nirt/., 514 Leary Rid*.
MAIL~SUBSCR!PTION RATES
DAILY AND SUNDAY
1 year $5.00. 6 months $3.00. 3 months $1.75, 1 month 75c
DAILY ONLY
1 year $4.50, 6 month* $2.75. 3 months $1.50. 1 month 75c
SUNDAY ONLY
l year $3.00, 6 months $1.75, 3 month* ai.00, 1 month* 50c
In the Fourth Postal Zone or 300 to 600 miles from Omaha,
The Daily and Sunday Bee is $5,50 for 6 months. $6 a year
The Daily Only Be# is $;) for 6 months, $5.50 for one year.
Subscriptions outside ihe Fourth postal zone, or 600
miles from Omaha: Daily and Sunday, $1.00 per month,
daily cnly, 75c per month; Sunday oily 50c per month.
CITY SUBSCRIPTION RATES
Morntrg and Sunday . ... 1 month Hoe. 1 week 20e
Evening and Sunday .1 month 65c, 1 week 15c
Sunday only .1 month 20c, 1 wet k 5c
--J
Omaha-U^here the West is at its Best
HE REMADE THE WORLD.
Elwood Haynes is dead at his home at Kokomo,
Ind., at the age of f>8. Few persons in the United
States knew about Elwood Haynes. He was not
even a name to many. Yet all the world knows
about his greatest accomplishment. He was the
first to drive a carriage propelled by a gasoline en
gine. Many “horseless carriages” had snorted up
>nd down the roads before his day. Experiments
of ail sorts had been carried on. Langley had all but
solved the secret of mechanical flight. Yet these ex
perimenters had depended on the use of steam for
motive power.
Haynes was an engineer. As is the fate of so
many inventor?, Haynes was regarded by his neigh
bors as being “just a little off.” He was everlast
ingly fooling around with some sort of contraption.
A mechanical contrivance that was to do something
none other had achieved. His main efforts were
spent on a greasy engine that snorted and coughed
and emitted vile fumes, and did not promise much of
anything to those who based conclusions on appear
ances. The story goes that one evening while Mrs.
Haynes was putting supper on the table, Haynes ,
touched the right spot on his motor, and it ran. |
Wrecked the dining room, and the kitchen, and out
into the yard, where it did other damage. But
it ran.
Not long after that ITaynPs towpd a strange look
ing carriage out into the country. Then he drove
it back to town under its own power. The first gaso
l:no-driven horseless carriage made a speed of eight
miles per hour. But the victory was won. No mat
ter how many improvements and innovations have
come since that summer day in 1801, it was Elwood
Haynes who laid the foundation. He had pursued
the secret and captured it.
Millions of cars go up and down the highways
of the world. Man’s communication with other men
is swifter and easier. His burdens are lighter. His
days are fuller. All because Elwood Haynes was
“just a little off." The combination of steel and rub
ber, with gasoline and electricity for the vital ele
n.ent, came in time to remake the world. The
greatest reward that came to Haynes, who had the
genius and the patience to perfect his “queer con
traption,” was to have lived to see the fulfillment of
his vision. He died knowing that he had been of
real service to the race.
“HOME’S WHAT YOU MAKE IT!"
The Omahan who does not know Frit/, A1 Carl
son's Omaha song, even though he may not be able
to sing it, ought to try to sing it. It hasn’t quite so
much fight in it as it ougt to have. It contains the
right sentiment, however.
Now Carlson has written another that has not
only sentiment but fight. Its title is “Home's What
You Make It,” and it fits in well with the campaign
for the upbuilding of Omaha institution’. The words
go like this:
I II say It v nm what s tne maiter
With my home town.
But what * the,matter with me.
Omaha, Omaha.'
Finest place you ever saw.
I'll say it's great—it's up lo me,
It's up to you.
To dow n the blue* and knoc kers, too.
So it's not what's the matter
With my home town.
But what's the matter with me?"
Whatever the verse ntay lack in poetic construc
tion is more than compensated for hy its wealth of
aentiment—a sentiment, too, that should inspire
every loyal Omahan. When the time comes that
every Omahan realizes that he is in a measure re
sponsible for Omaha's government, for Omaha’s
growth and development, for Omnha’s betterment,
things will forge ahead in a manner not yet under
stood. t
Making a Bigger and Better Omaha is not the
work for committees or groups. It is the work of
every citizen. If you have an idea that there is
something the matter with Omaha, forget it long
enough to investigate yourself. You may make the
.•istonishing discovery that the matter is with your
self, not the city.
Now learn Carlson's new song, and after learning
it, sing it with the proper spirit and understanding.
NOTHING PUZZLING ABOUT IT.
The Treasury department at Washington con
fesses it is puzzled hy the unprecedented demand
for dollar bills. The confession merely confirms a
long-entertained suspicion that the Treasury depart
ment officials are a lot of antiquated old fossils. If
they were wise to modern ways they would not be
puzzled.
The dollar bill is in demand because it can not
be distinguished from a $20 bill when properly
folded. It is popular because four nr five of them
properly rolled will enable the posessor to make a
flash like a million dollars. The dollar bill is popular
because the man who makea a fiO-cent purchase and
tenders a $5 bill in payment gets hack four dollar
bills, and they make him feel a* if he is being paid
foY carrying hla purchase away.
A young man may jingle three or four silver dol
lars in his pocket without attracting much atten
tion, but If he flashes a roll containing four or five
dollar bill* he not only feel* like a millionaire but
he actually believe* that all beholder* believe that
he i* in the Ford-Rockefeller-Mellon cla**. A half
dozen silver dollars in a man's pocket makes him sag
sideways, puts an undue strain on belt or suspenders
and gives visible evidence to creditors that hr is able
to pay something on account. But an equal number
of dollars hills tucked away In the vest pocket puts
no strain on anything but the imagination and in
duces that millionaire feeling so comforting and
satisfactory.
The Treasury officials should get away from the
enervating official atmosphere of Washington and
mingle for a time with the common or garden va
riety of people. That is the way to solve a lot of
problems that now perplex them.
UNWED MOTHER AND HER CHILD.
Miss Alice Fiske of the University of Iowa ad
dressed the regional conference of the National Child
Welfare society on a subject of great interest. She
talked of the unwed mother and her child. Favoring
the plan of k< eping mother and child together, she
suggested that state aid be given in such cases. Of
course, she admitted that some such mothers do not
want the child, and should not be forced to keep it
in such cases. But before adoption is resorted to,
the mother should be given every chance to readjust
herself. When she has fully realized, the situation,
and is restored to full health, she may be able to
decide.
One of the factors in the problem is that by dif
ferent qiethods of dealing with such mothers affairs
-uch as that which shocked Council Bluffs a few
weeks ago might be avoided. Yet, as that is an ex
ception, so there are others. Recently in Maryland a
young woman confessed to having for a second time
murdered a babe born out of wedlock. Cases like
these do not make the rule, hut they do complicate
the general problem.
No matter where the sentiment was born, in mod
ern society we find a general feeling adverse to the
unwed mother. She is at a disadvantage both so
cially and economically. Philanthropic organizations
assist her, and her child is generally well cared for.
Much opinion, perhaps the greater part, inclines to
the side of separation of mother and child under
such circumstances. Miss Fiske's proposals deserve
consideration, nevertheless.
Society has an interest in the matter, for the
unwed mother and her offspring fall into the danger
zone. Until a better way of dealing with them is
found, they will remain there. In fact, so long as
mart iage is regarded as it is, children born out of
wedlock will always constitute a menace, as proof
of disregard of a convention that sustains the social
organization. Whatever the state may do, this phase
of the problem will remain unaltered.
AND THEN SOME.
“America,” declares the Louisville Courier-Jour
nal, "gave the world tobacco, potatoes, oats, corn,
pumpkins and turkeys.”
Rut why such a short list? America also gave the
world automobiles, synthetic gin, kodaks, jazz or
chestras and “blues” singers. America gave the
world the telegraph, the ocean cable, the electric
light, bootleg liquor, motion pictures, the notion that
mankind ran be saved by legal enactment and the
trashiest magazines ever published.
Nor is that all. America has given the world
some of its greatest statesmen and some of its mean
est political grafters, some of its highest ideals and
some of its lowest moral performances. It has given
the world its greatest examples of moral courage and
its worst examples of law defiance. It has given the
world the best laws for the protection of life and
limb and then shown the world the utmost indiffer
ence to both. America ran get steamed up over
something quicker and forget it sooner than any
other nation on earth.
It gives more liberally and does it quicker than
any other nation w'hen the world is in distress, and
just as quickly forgets to follow up.
A wonderful country, a wonderful people, but
we have much to learn and an infinitely greater dis
tance to go.
SPEAKING OF EVOLUTION.
In the old days a boy was content with play
ground apparatus consisting of a shinny club he cut
from a hedge row, and a ball made from the ravel
ling of an old yarn sock. Now he must have a wealth
of publicly provided apparatus and an expert to
teach him how to play.
Then he had r pair of old rocker skates and he
na« happy. Later he had a bicycle. Now he must
have an automobile of his own and carte blanche at
a filling station.
Then, when he took “her” to a party he walked
up to the gate and whistled. Now he drive* up in
front of the house anil honks his horn.
Then, if he spent more than half a dollar enter
taining his sweetheart, ahe advised him to save his
money. Now, if he spends less than a week’s wages
rhe says, “Step on it, kid; you’re slowing up.”
The hoys of those old days usually made good.
And, in spite of the changes in conditions, the boy*
of today are mighty apt to make good. It ia a waste
of time to worry about the boys.
It is more important than ever these days, how
ever, to see that they get a good sound training in
personal responsibility and the eternal fitness of
things.
Speaking of evolution, Mr. Bryan might tell us
about his evolution from a briefless barrister to a
millionaire real estate dealer. ,
Mrs. Coolidge is not the only woman who will
wear an old hat on Kaster Sunday, if some husband*
hereabouts have their say-so.
_ ■■■■■*•
Homespun Verse
By Omaha'* C^*/n Po*t—
Hubert Wnrtlvnulon Unt ie.
I_____/
from an interview.
The fruit nf thl* aeon, the myriad holler*.
I- measured with cold and exchangeable dollar*.—
And all that waa beauty and grandeur before u*.—
And much that wae lovely and truly decorous
Is mythical merely.
A ml obaolete—cleafly!——
And llngera In memory to vex u* and bore n*.
The alepe of the angel* are fewer a rid lighter,
Tbe (abate! Item-on* ate larger and brighter,—
The hour of midnight, tbe hour of learning —
Mum* bulb* of resplendence net- reveler* burning.
The claaelc* of leather
Ate huddled together
l.lke outcaat* for home amt security'yearning.
Tie Prog re** thl* change so Illogical eeemlng'
Tl* planning and doing, not hoping and dreaming.
S|n».*ldoin'* the kingdom of Merit and Olor.v
With monarch* and runner* up main, h gurry!
Hang the old college
With ill of It* knowledge'
Dante and Old Time will unravel the etotyl
Letters From
Our Readers
All null hr il|n»d. but name
will be withheld upon request. Con«
immiratione of 200 words end less
will be liven preference.
V--J
Man's Destiny I.ies Onward.
Omaha -Tn the Editor of The
Omaha Be**: It *ecms rather astound
ing that a person of such common
sense intelligence »s Dr. Harry Emer
son Eosdlck would ask the futile ques*
lions attributed to him in his Easter
sermon at Plymouth church the other
da \ .
The human body i« composed of
chemicals, worth about bS cents. "Is
that compound a chemical blunder of
nature, or do you think that within
the ephemeral life there is an abiding
eternal shrine?" On the one hand
• we have Haeckel's definition of man
a gaseous vertebrate, and vet the
Testament says he is a semi-god.
Which are we?
Is there any reason why we are not
both, or even more? The physical
body is what Haeckel meant: the Tes
tament had reference to the soul.
The 98 cents worth of material repre
sents the vehicle which affords the
soul a residing place; just as a velvet
casket holds a gem of purest water
or the bulb the incandesent: ray of
light. There are really three bodies
In one in each and every human
being: the physical or chemical, the
mental, and the spiritual. Without
ilie physical, the mental and the spir
itual could not function—so far as
we at present know—here on earth:
without the mental, man's mind'won Id
he a blank: without the spiritual, man
would he among the lowest forms of
life. It needs the three combined to
make the higher animal, mail.
Man has been placed in the universe
for the purpose of evolving into a
higher or superbeing, like the Christ
or Buddha, ami immortality of the
soul is a truth. Many "civilizations”
have corue crashing tn the earth for
the reason that they are mainlv arti
ficial and superficial. We experiment
with life, and out of the experiments
comes gleams of wisdom which bene
(it us In the long run. Many of the
things we evolve out of material
[means through mental action are use
I less as well as harmful, but we learn
i lesson from It. and that means one
more step upward in the scheme of
evolution. The soul Is the flame of
life, as the sun is the giver of life.
Hod is. There ig not death: merely
« ha nge. ERA NCI 8 K EITI I.
find Versus Infidelity—Evolution.
Omaha.—To the Editor of /The
I Omaha Bee: During the past weeks,
[through the city newspapers, several
infidel evolutionists of mixed genders,
have accused me of breaking Into
j print. They do pot state how they
| got into the sacred precincts of the
I newspapers—probably crawled in
I unde*:.
is it nor mgniy neuevaoie mar.
considering the marvels of the uni*
1 verse, wherein some master mind
must have created and perpetuated It.
the Psalmist In exclaiming. “The fool
hath said In tils heart there Is no
God.” uttered It in piteous lamentation
that any puny human could be so bar
ren of spiritual understanding as to
niter such/thing” Of all the Individ
uals extant, prolific In citing evidence
regarding a nonexlstant personal God.
without proof, the infidel-evolutionist
is supreme. And the smaller the men
tal caliber of the agnostic, the better
• iter. They Insist that the public
libraries teem with evidence showing
the existence of a God was disproved
long ago. They do not sav who van
quished God. In substance they still
Insist that our forebears got their
start on their two hind legs, probably
supporting ihemselves by an ele
pbant's tall nr sonrething until their
irei became spread out so thev* could
walk about: that somehow their front
• law s became straightened out so that
no longer they could clmb trees with
their fellow-apes, and were forced to
the use of * liu*« to kill their meat.
The Infidel-evolutionist's prophets.
It gersoll. Payne snd Voltaire, while
furnishing much fascinating litera
ture. just as Mark Twain a “Innocents
Ahmad" was fascinating, never fur
njshed the slightest proof of a non
existent. ruling. God. All of their
reputations were built up solely upon
their great Intellects, and all left the
world no belter or wiser for their hav
ing lived Where reposes names of
these men today, when we with heart
felt sentiment celebrate TJncoln's.
McKinley s or Washington’s birthday?
Glider bow many la vers of dust re
poses Pavne's “Age of Rea son.’’ when
Ihe sordid theatrical magnate are dra
matising with great profit “Joseph’s
Bondage’* or “ “The Ten Command
men Is?" Tail her Burbank, doubtless
the greatest authority living or dead
touching embryo life, has never pie
tended to furnish the slightest proof
• f man's evolution from the lower ani
me I kingdom. The greatest of all
evolutionists. Huxley. Tyndall and
Haeckel, never have furnished the
“lightest mathematical proof regard
ing man’s evolution from the lower
animal kingdom: and their theories of
evolution are predicated upon supposi
tion and not on scientific fact.
If 1* true that no Ghristian ran ab
solutely prove all tenets of bis faith,
for God Is spiritually discerned but
somehow we can not help but believe
that this faith on the part of the
Christian has been permitted to com
pare England. France and America, at
least nominally Ghristian. to Ghlnn,
India and Africa.
GEORGE R GHILTr
Nothin? Serious.
“My bead is bloody but unbowed
She laid aside the volume
“That jM»em,’* she said, “is terrify
lug to me “
Who wrote it?"
“Ilenlev an English author.**
“Ob. when an Englishman talk.*
about your bloody bead lie doesn*
mean anything.''—Y«ou!svll|e Gourlei*
Journal.
Cii,i that used I' boast n' havin'
lh' greatest shippin’ faeilit u s, lh'
beat, water, an' th' lowest death
rate, now devote all their energy t,'
advertisin' th’ finest golf links in
th' eountry. Another peculiar thing
about a woman is that when she
hain't down she's out
K'u|,|ii(hi, till.)
-, . ^ By BKlUViS
Somebody It Alwayt Taking the Joy Out of Life _____
vohcivj you Tu<*kj iu youf* seeda
AT Tf*!1 CAPfvjIMfo Op TfiC JEASOM
tftlOVAJ'fJG* IT 1-3 OUT OP Tt-tK
RUNi'Jl'^C-’ EORTH* PRit«T
- D ThCM OP ThC J^P>3T
|>L^vef»J5 TlZlLJ YoO HJ3 ^CO»t
,<mvjd *t is ujorse Thmu 'rbona
AnJD YcAJ MAwCS HOPeJ
• A"JD V0UR HOI • . 1
Hir,MCa WJH6M WU LC/lfilO
Or AlOO TMCa'i SADv3C0«S
•M
Thujas look Pretty
R9JY WHfw AKJOTHEfR. cSooti
PLAYER IS OUT OP IT BV
TuR?Kir4G llO A MIGHEtR.
Carp Tmam Too r. s
U/j,
,AmD .still They Come »*J
RfpoRYNOG poorer Thaw
Yea AMD JUST UJne-J Too
PEEL COwJlUCED YOU HAVE
CoppeD The prile ^_^
* TH& POOBEJT H.AVETH ™
CLUB Ton aj_'i IO A c2A«t5 THAr
HA3 VooR S Beaten BV OMF,
somcbodt is Always
Taking The: JoV out,
op LI Pt
SUNNY SIDE UP
jsxssesmss^xk,
___'
r
KISMKT.
I feel the lure of the open road.
The call of the long, broad ways,
i long to tread the smooth roadstead
Through the gold of the springtime days
I hear the call of the woods and streams.
And long for their cool retreats;
f yearn to roam o’er the yielding loam
Afar from the hard, paved streets.
I catch the gleam of the bending sk.v
On the far-off edge of things.
And long to go where their glories glow
In the sunset springtime brings.
Hut what's the use! There is work to do
If I eat three times a day
And I like to eat. so I keep rm seat
And scribble and scribble away.
Yesterday sn errand took us down on South Tenth street,
and we stood for a whiie on the viaduct, watching the irains
passing beneath. For u«* there is something fascinating about
a freight train. For the life of ns we can not refrain from
watching them, and keeping a sharp lookout for an open side
door. That’s h habit acquired many years ago before a fool
Dutchman down in Cincinnati invented a machine that took
all the romance out of the printing trade it has been many a !
long year since we surreptitiously boarded a side-door Pullman
to go from here in there, hut even vet the sight of a moving
boxcar with an open side-door arouses an impulse hard
to restrain. About the time the trees ate in h*!f leaf our feet
begin to itch.
We often wonder how the hoys of today get along, now j
that there are no Indians to fight nor buffalo to hunt. In our
boyhood da vs we killed more Indians than Daniel Boone and
j Bl" Foot Wallace ever saw, ami shot and skinned more buffalo
than Bill Cody ever chased across the plains Our trusty "Old
Betsy/’ carved out of a piece of weatherboard, helped us out
of many a desperate situation. We early learned to load It
while on the dead run, dodging from tree to tree to elude the
bloodthirsty Indians, and our name struck terror into the
hearts of the tribesmen from the eldge of our Missouri village
to the hanks of the Hundred and Two river. We would have
killed more Indians and buffaloes had it not been necessary to
keep a couple of wood boxes well filled.
Tn those old da vs we often heard of hoys running away
from home to get out on the frontier to deal death and devasta
tion to redskins and buffalo, hut we never heard of boy bandit*
bolding tip grocery stores, stealing automobile* and looting
banks. Times have surely changed. Time was when we could
dmp into r city, "sub ’ for a couple of nights, paste up our
dupe*, cash bur string and hie onward. If not upward. Those
j were the days of romance and adventure in the printing trade
Now. with the machines, it is a deadly, dull reafflv. All of
which helps us to restrain our annual springtime Impulse to
hop the rattlers and go anywhere Just so it is somewhere else.
A lot of work we mapi>ed out for ourself in the earlier day*
of our Journalistic career remains unfinished—most of it not
eve© begun. There is the Great American Novel we were going
to write. And the famous drama, to mv nothing of the side
splitting cornedv. Wonder if there ever was a pevvspHi»er re
porter who didn't plan a great novel or a great drama'*
Was there ever * Methodist preacher who did not dream of
being a bishop, or a lawyer who did not dream of being a chief
Justice of the I’nlted States, or a gambler who never dreamed
of making a royal flush with every player in the pot and nil
intent on raising'’ Was there ever a railroad clerk who did not
dream of being president of the system, or an errand boy who
did not dream of being the store manager and hiring anil firing
at his own sweet will? Of course not. Well we have never
■tatted either the great novel or the soul stirring drama.
The hoard of temperance, prohibition and morals of the
Methodist Kplscopal church declares that “constant ridicule of
congress is #»ne of the most insidious evils In this countrv." It
i* and v\ e sre imintr to Pass n Iwiw about it We shall Insist
that congress unit doing things that bring it into ridicule
WILD M. MAI*PIN.
^
~ \l>\I H I IM-MKM IDVRR1INRMRKT.
I
GOOD KARNAK DID ME"
“Thi* Medicine I* Certainly
a World-Beater,” De
clare* Tho*. Stewart of
Omaha.
The ravaging effect* of Indignation
on the ayatem and the quick and
thorough way in which the remark
aide new medicine, Katnak. oxer
conn < ilit* health wrecking trouble
and bring* new atreugth and energy
to weak rundown men and women \n
foiceftill.x demon**! i .tied |n the cine of
Tho*. I Stewart, 117 S. 14th St.
ttnuih i, N < I v
"Money couldn't bti\ tin *"«hI Kai
nak h«a done me ‘ I* the rnthu*i
Matin atdiement **f Mr. Stew at t In
ieportlng hi* remaikahle recoxeix t“
good health by tt* ue»\ Km thier
\niia 1 atiffeied ft out net x out iudi
gratlnn, constipation, narvou*na*i
f nd a weak mndUhn. 1 could n't hall
lest nights, and morning* I wouW
grt up with n coat ail tongue *m
feollng all out of amt* in ovary way
“Whan Karnak mma to Omaha
start ad taking It. and from tha way
it has fixed me up It tnuat havi
haan made espet l ilh for my ease. 1
just knocked the Indigestion akvhlgh
,tnd toned up »m whole avatam ft on
head to foot 1 don't hive a trmibh
t»f any kind, and lust feel full o
qo‘ mII the time karnak is certain
l\ .« world laMier.'
11\«»t &IIO.0WI bottles of t\arnal
•old In four *Ui'c* in ten months
ksrnak is sold m Omahn axrtu
vivaly by Hherman A Met onneU i
four stolen, m Itenaon by Kanaot
Pharmacy in Smith Omaha by To
bin a hntv Stote. In Klnrence by
k’reytag a Pirn m o ' ami by the le.s«l
Ing ditiggiili in *\fi$ town.
r~
Center £
___
It Is understood the last member of
(he A. E. F., who returned home the
other day from Frame, hud finally
worn out all the home-knit war socks.
—Detroit News.
A good deal is being said concern
ing the wit of the late .lob Hedges.
Here Is one of hU epigrams: "If a
man stood before a mirror one hour
a day he d laugh himself to death,
go Insane, or become a decent citi
zen." That isn't wit; it's the solemn
truth.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
The prize optimist Is the pedestrian
who smiles when he reads that auto
mobile production Is showing a heavy
increase.—Asher ille Times.
That Geneva protocol seems to
hare been one of those documents
that aie dictated, but not signed."
—Chicago News.
K\«“n with its sugar coating the
senate could not swallow the Warren
nomination.—Charleston Gazette.
At other seasons disinclination to
work is mere laziness: now It's spring
fever.—San Antonio Express.
With the advent of the radio it is
no longer insulting a person to "give
him the air."—Terre Haute Star.
Riihbed Him Out.
During the war when those South
African soldiers. Generals Botha and
Smuts, were much to the front in Eu
rope. two voung flappers of 1 * or so
approached General Smuts and asked
for his autograph.
"1 haven't got a fountain pen ' said
the general, much flattered. "Will
u penrll do?"
"Yes." said the other flaM °r.
"So I took out my peutiT. ' related
the general who loved To tell the
story "and signer) ntv name in the
daintily bound little book that she
had given me
"The flapper studied the signature
with a frown. Then she looked up
and said:
"Aren't you General Botha'.' '
••Nil. ' I said. "I'm General Smut*.”
"The flapper turned to her friend
with a shrug of disgust, I-end me your
India-rubber. May, she said."—New
York Post.
As You W ere.
From an authentic source we lea n
that there are. at this moment. 2.693,.
.151 poor unfortunates at work solving
cross-word puzzles. (These figures do
not include the returns from Siberia
and Zambezi )
If we could but peep back we would
find that In the ore-cross-word era. of
these 3.692.151 synonym shiners:
Six hundred and ninety-six thou
sand four hundred snd eleven were
helping the wife on the maid's night
off. Ill might have been observed
taking the dog out for a walk. 2.192.
169 were busily engaged in improving
ea. h shining hour at bridge and mah
jcng, 11 were asleep at the opera.
_ *94 5o6 were s«leep in bed.—I-ondun
Opinion.
Probably.
Sunday School Teacher—Can any
one tell me where Noah lived?
Pupil- I don't think he had a regu
lar home. I guess he and hi« family
belonged to the floating population.
u
i Plan from
Pictures your
Outinq
Coibradi >
Glimpse the Colorado Rockies before you
go. Get some idea of the grandeur ar.d
beauty of this mountain playground. Put
yourself in the pictures. See yourself on
the top of the Universe with the world
of sports and pastimes at your feet.
Of course, paper and ink can't give vou
$"> /^50 even a whiff of the rare, bracing a.r that
^ ^ f)_ injects a new joy into living. This thrill
comes only when you go up a mile or
Round Trio morc
from Omaha The Colorado book is free, including list
(Ffrtiinjynt :<t) of hotels, csmps and ranches - detail map
and other useful information about Rocky
Mountain National Park and all Colorado.
Get your copy now and plan early. Ask
Cl IVtAT-lM r.l
r.uon T'nclfV S'
« ’\ TirKft ! r.mani S . %
[*22 «n,i MlaittP'
«>’ N>b
I f son s ‘-Alton. Ttnih Mur v s*
rFRRONAl lY f *>k'OR1 FP TOl R' Aik»k*tif •«rs' espet'ae reta.' aj * e» ned Uvn
to Rock > Me..nta<n Nationa l's k \ tlf" «lon» Ni’. enki t at k site lo iie > Nat a Fkik
Br»oa Ctnnn. *>«<•* Breaks ind v ®1tr*»fni«i