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About The Omaha morning bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 1922-1927 | View Entire Issue (May 25, 1924)
Nickel-Nursing Research “Economist” Forgoes Self-Esteem to Patronize Omaha Hostelries, Grills, Taxis, Manicurists Sans 10 Per Cent Tip, in Interest of Science; Saves 95 Cents, Loses Soul Captaincy Investigator, Scoffed at. Frowned at. Whispered at. Picks Last Coin From Shining Plate; Hears Little Eva Story , of Intriguing Manicurist; Says Hence : forth He'll Tip. By A. R. GROH. To tip »r not to Up, That la the question. Whether ‘lift nobler In the purse to suffer 'I he stings and arrows of outrageous lipping Or to (skfl arms against a sea of ftftaliers* \nd, by opposing, end them. To quit, to keep The till— Bellhops, taxi drivers, redeaps, mani curists, hat girls, porters, etc. Friends, I made personal Investiga tion of thin problem right here in Omaha. And the answer to the above query "is the affirmative,” as they ray at dear old Bueking'm palace. Better go without shoe shlnings, haircuts and shaves, better go with out taxi rides, dinners and drinks— than to go without tipping. In the course of the adventure (en tered upon purely In the Interests of science), I saved 95 cents. But I sus tained wicked looks and heard mut tered words. My self esteem dropped lower and lower with each act of the distressing drama until I felt that the person who steals a nickel from a child on the way to a candy shop is a prince and a gentleman compared with me. Tea, verily! Come, then, if your heart is stout. We have dirty work to do. I dined in solitary slate at one of Omaha’s best hotels at 6:30. The food was excellent. Never have I par taken of better chicken livers on toast, more aromatic coffee or more delicious strawberry pie. Yirtim Royal Servitor. , And my waiter, my victim, was a master of his craft, a dark person with foreign accent, who gave the Y impression of having waited on diplo mats and nobility at the Adlon in Ber lin or the Kaiserhof in Vienna. Ho was always on hand* when I needed service and never in evidence when not wanted. I am a tender-hearted man and I dreaded to think of what I had to do. Bong I lingered over my coffee and pis. I was about to order an extra ice cream that I might postpone the evil moment as long as possible. But I reflected that this would Involve mors service. I decided to have it over with and tossed a $5 note on the bill which he unobtrusively laid down Just at the right moment. Adolph hurried away and came back with my change—three $1 bills, a quarter, two dimes and a nickel. Self Conscious? Yes! T knew he was standing behind me. But I did not quail. I picked up the hills and then the quarter. I actu ally felt him at that moment coming to the table, expecting to take the ainaller change. Deliberately I picked it up to the final nickel and put It in my pocket. Then I arose and hur ried from the room. Safe outside the door. I looked back and saw my waiter, hia eyes fixed upon ma with an expression I cannot forget—contempt, pity, even hatred. I felt that the eyes of all the rest of the waiters were upon me. Even the guests seemed to have paused to Kaw in wonder and contempt. I shrank—shrank like a J! 2 summer suit after a shower. In. A porter happens Into the vicin ity of the meanest man. “Will you help me with my valises'.’” inquires the m. m. “Yes, suh!” is the hearty answer of the dusky victim, with hopeful ac cent on the "suit.” Into a chair car he struggles and arranges the hags In an excellent position. “This is a good place, but you ain't got far to go anyways,” says he. I "Yes, this will do very well. Thanks." "Yes, suh. Yes, indeed, salt!” The ni. nt. sat silent, eyes huried in a newspaper. The porter finally left. I heard him hack of me, talk ing In an angry tone to a trainman. I didn’t distinguish the words. I didn't need to. I At the I'nion station, Omaha, I summoned a redcap to assist me. He tugged the three hags right manfully out to a cab. There wasn’t much time to parley, but I looked out as the taxi whisked away and saw the redcap gazing after me. His lips moved in apparent labinis and 1 in - guals. He seemed to be pronouncing the letters d and m. Maybe he was say ing ‘‘Dear me, dear me!” But I do mean “maybe.'' My gasoline Jehu, this time, was a mild and studious looking youth. He gave me and my luggage fine service and I paid him exactly the amount of the bill, receiving 45 cents in change and pocketing it. His mouth opened In a snarl as he half turned away. He glanccrl hark and sneered. "Cheap bum!’’ I distinctly heard the words. But no anger stirred my tiosom. Jn fact I felt like slapping him on the back and saying: "You’re right,’ my boy, you’re right.” Oozed From Hostelry. A bellhop of tender years staggered with my bags to the room assigned me. He conversed pleasantly of the weather and other things. He turned on the light, threw own the window, begged to know if there was anything else I wanted. He lingered. He seemed to like me. “Nothing else, sir,” he finally said. "No, that's all, thank you," I said. And, oh, how he slammed the door! . *• fy s I arose and hurried from the room. And for 15 cents I could have avoid ed all this! I turned to the girl In whose garage I had parked my Stetson. My check, my hat and a dazzling 'ianile! "Thank you,” said the meanest man on earth. Vanished the smile Instantly and on her lips bitter contempt. "Poor fish!" she was saying, without words. \ I staggered away and hurried out of the hostelry. And she was such a pretty girl, too! g' *ie> Home then slunk this contemptible creature, not by the usual route but f in a tajl (for further research). He was a large chauffeur with a prognathous Jaw. I dwell, trto, In a dark street. But men must he brave. The meter registered 55 cents. I had that, amount of change and. when he handed me the bill, X placed a half dollar and a nickel In his hand and stepped hark beyond reach, while X watched the effect. But here I had the surprise of the day. That chauffeur didn’t strike me. He didn’t even mention his opinion of me. He Just said, "Thank you, air,’’ hopped Into his cab and sped away. I thank you. Jehu. And if ever again I chance to ride in your < lie riot you ahull have a double tip. Came dreams In wblcli I was pur sued by armed waiters, bellhops, bar | bera anti manicurists. And 1 awcfke | to the knowledge that another day of studied meanness was before me. Dusky Porter Next. The plot thicken* as the ecene changes to the bustling city of Coun cil Bluffs where, at 10 In the morn ing we find our hero pardon- our blackguard, at one of the half-dozen railroad stations He Is surrounded by two large and heavy suitcases and s capacious vails* He ha* a ticket for the Journey he Is shout to I take to Omaha. The train thunders * By this time I felt that not s friend was left to me in the w’orld. Toward noon I slunk from the hostelry. My bellboy was sitting In the lobby with his companions. He pointed at mo and I felt the combined contempt of his companions and himself as 1 cosed out to the street. That noon, with two companions, 1 lunched at a large grill which we frequent. Taking the other two into my confidence, we asked for a dif ferent waiter from the one we usually have. He serv'd mv eggs a la turque, msdahed potatoes, peas, coffee and double dessert with perfection. Eventually came the three bills, for fid cents each. He took mins first, half a dollar and a dime, "Le's see, this Is for one—oh, yes— he—It's for one,” he hesitated. "Yeh,” said the tightwad. My companions stuck by me. One laid down a SI bill and the other a “five.” The change came and both scooped all of it up and dropped It in their pockets. The colored gentleman's eves seem ed to pop out In astonishment. Be wildered, he went to a neighboring table and faced us. propping himself on the hack of a chair with one hand. We tried to talk unconcernedly, but were burned by his contempt. After about llirce hours- so It sepnied—he went away and spoke to another waiter, pointing at us. The <<>111<-11>|>t of the heMImys. "I.et's get out of here, for cat's sake," groaned one or my compan ion!. "Gosh, yes,” moaned the other, Anil we got out. Intriguing Manicurist. They "shook" me, mul I didn't blame them. That afternoon the nickel nurser visited a manicurist. A lovdv girl, she was, who lived with her mother, she said, and never Went out without a chaperon Still, with everything so high nowaday*. It was hard for a manicurist to make enough to keep h»r«elf and mothei Just from her salary. But gentle men were very liberal with tip*. Once in a while you met some tight wad. hut not often. In short. *he looked upon me a* a prince among men. When ahe mur mured "SO cent*," she looked as sweet and trusting as Little Eva in the final scene of Uncle Tom's Cabin. "I have the right change, then," said the penny plncher and dropped a stiver half-dollar into her rosy palm. Kipling has observed that the fe male of the species Is more deadly than the male, lie was right. If looks could kill—— This trusting young woman, trying to get along in the world, burned me with a look. Her limpid eyes clouded with con tempt, yes, with loathing, and her lips formed silent words which 1 didn't imagine such h tenderly-nur tured girl even knew. I wonder what she told her "little mother" abotil me that night. I escaped from the tonsorial parlor. I figured up what 1 had saved by my 24 hours of not-llpping, and found it I didn't dintinguinli bin word*. I din't need to. rump to just 95 rents. For that sum 1 would have passed everywhere with at least self respect, paying just the 10 per cent demanded by custom and usage. Tt would have been divided as follows: waiter at the hotel, 15 cents; hat girl, 10 cents; first taxi driver, 10 cents; porter In Council Llluffs, 10 cents; red cap, 10 cents; fec und taxi driver, 10 cents; bellhop, 10 ctnts; waiter in the grill, 10 cents: manicurist, 10 cents. The manicurist looked daggers. And If I bad expended twice that sum I would have been a "prince." In time I shall live down the shame of those 34 hours, in time I can again go abroad upon the streets without fear of being recognized by one of my victims, in time the city will for get how mean I am, in time I shall again hold up my head and regain the captaincy of my soul. And, henceforth I tip. Officers Are Mystified by $300 Blackmail Note Plattsmouth, Neb., May 34.—Ef forts of county officials to asrertain the authorship of of a note demand ing 1300 from Miss May Barker, rural tcaoher near Mynard, have proven futile. The note wan slipped under the door at the school house and stated that she was to deliver ttie sum of money at a mail ho* a mile west and a mile north of the Barker home, under penalty of be ing "got sooner or later." The note was signed, "The Bad Six," Hnd also cautioned her against revealing the fa< t of having received It. Burlington Cuts Dovmi. I’luttfinnuth, Neb., May 24.—The Burlington pimp* in ibis city are re turning to a five day r week schedule. The five-day week was continued throughout the winter un til about the first of April, when full time was resumed. The Burlington has also eliminated Its second trick switching crew at this point, elack lbusiness being given as the reason I for these curtailments. Parents Shun “Obediah” and “Tag” Son “A. B.” for Him to “Fill Out” later Initials Retained All Through School, hut Army Records Say “Albert Brooks.” Home folks ore born with names, others acquire names and most havi names thrust upon them when they are too young to object. Thus they are doomed to liear the burden of Obediali and llananlah, through no fault of theirs but merely because of the poor judgment ol their loving parents. John O. Nobs is a father of extraor dinary consideration. When hie son was born he did not fasten upon him some irrevocable name. lie saw Into' the future years. Mother," said he. “let 11s allow our little son to choose his own name. We'll give him some initials to get along on until he grows up snd then he can fill out the rest of the name. Ho they Initialed the baby "A. B " and he got along all right on those all through babyhood, childhood, boy hood and youth until the war started. It was necessary for him to have a regular name to fight for Uncle Sam. So he picked himself a nice, snappy name, “Albert Brooks." "I haven't any relatives with those names, I just happened to like the combination," said A. B.. or rather, Albert, "t never liked havipg no rOf. '& name, for everyone questioned me about the initials. When X went to' school In Pennsylvania the teachers objected to me being in school with no name.” Albert was 24 when he picked hi« name. The four other children in the Noes family have been given full names. Judge L. B. Day of Juvenile court lays claim to the distinction ot no Ohristisn name. Friend* of R. K Hancock, cashier of the State bank of Tsksmah, Neb., have never been able to find out if his Initials really atand for names. For more than 20 years, Hancock has signed checks and legal documents only "R. K. Han cock.’’ Ills name la a secret if lie has one, SHUKERT RULING j IS FAR-REACHING Heirs of the late fl. E. Shukert, millionaire furrier, cannot recover $13,000 paid as federal estate tax on ( a transfer made by the decedent \ in May, 1021. according to decision by Federal Judge Wood rough. At torneys for the heirs contended that the transfer was not made in con templation of death and therefore was: not taxable. Revenue Agent James J. Drake ford considers the decision one of far-reaching importance on the sub ject of transfers. The government was represented at the hearing by special Attorney K. J. Lewis, Wash ington. District Attorney Kinsler prepared the case assisted by Rev enue Agent T. W. Johnson and Chief Estate Tax Officer J. H. Sherlock. Minnesota Bank Closes. Pine Island, Minn., May 24.—The State bank of Pine Island with de posits approximating $750,000 at the last statement, was closed today be cause of "frozen" assets. Memorial Rites for Printers to Be Held Sunday «/ Henry Beal to Be Master of Ceremonies; Rev. M. Allen Keith to De liver Address. Annual memorial services for de pm ted members of the Omaha Typo graphies! union, No. 19b, will be held Sunday afternoon at 2:30 at the Labor temple. Nineteenth anil Daven port street*. The services are under the auspices of Ahamo auxiliary, Mrs. Earl Shaw, president. Officers of the union are, A. M. Wiggins, president: C. A. Vickers, vice president; V. 13. Kinney, secre tary-treasurer- W. 11. Kpllngg, record ing secretary: J. H. Collins, sergeant at arms, I. J. Copenharve and E. I’. Sawyer, executive committee, anil A. K. Bai-kora, James Klnkead. Conrad Eulff, board of trustee*. The program will be: Mst*er of C-retnonte*. H-nrv B«sl. invocation. Mr*. Herbert Cox. Slnaina of '‘America." Audience. Roll Call of the Dead. Andrew .Srolt "Croasina tha Bar." Sun* bv F. B. Oliver, accompanied bv Claude F Joen* "Beautiful JeJe of Somewhere." Hana com Park (Juortet Meaare. Osborne. Statar. Krclie. Wurahem. Address. Rev M Alien Keith. Pa*tor of Pearl Memorial Methodist Church. "Not a Sparrow Fail'vth." Suna by Mre. Jemie AhloulBt rn<k»neon. accom When in Omaha Stop at Hotel Rome pnnl.-.l bv Mi** llo»e Y»1* ■ _ • "Thp Swppi storv of <>l«l Sunk- bv C W. Si.tiKprlnnil. aft otiuian > «i t-v M»a* Mane Htr »n« "Someclme. ^omewh^re. ' i»m rare Nebraska City—Mrmorlul day w I be observed here with the war so eietle* in charge. Attorney tiener.i Spillman has promised to deliver the address. . ... . — ■ - . . ■- s a ■ ; _ - The Martha Washington Sewing Machine The Martha Washington is ! standard “WHITE” equip ment. and ran be converted into a practical Electric Sew ing Machine in a second. It has been deservedly1 called the Aristocrat of all sewing ma chines, for it possesses the beauty of a fine piece of fur niture. This and other practical models are sold on easy terms. Come in and sec them. MICKECS 15th and Harney ATIantic 4361 I I I !■ ITWT—ra Thousands of royal visitors from the towns and villages of Quivera will visit the Royal Castle, King Ak-Sar-Ben’s Den, this year. His Majesty must prepare to receive them. To do this in true Ak-Sar-Ben style, he must have 5,000 Knights. Even now 200 of Samson’s Royal Entertainers are rehearsing for the biggest production ever offered at an Ak*Sar-Ben audience. More QUICK Just TEN MJNTTKM after you take A-l lerlks, all g;*a on the stomach la re lieved and in two hours * complete cleansing of MOTH upper and lower bowel taken |»I ft • c. removing matter which poisoned (lie system f*» r niuntlig. It Is astonishing the great amount of pnlHOiM' in matter Adleill.* draws f in the alimentary isiimI -matter you ncvei thought was hi your s'stem It brings out m 11 gasses. Immediately relieving pres aura on the heart. No matter what \ on have fried or how long you hiv. Niiffered, Adlerlke I* so wonderful in lie ejtJH'K action that you ‘ill he delighted There la no long wait ins. for In ten minute* gasse* are eg. pel led and 'n two hours a complete cleansing action 'ake* place It i* et -ellenr t» guard against appendicitis. I Sherman * MrCf until. m Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I “SAMSON” I if And His “Faithful Subjects” Will Assemble I In All His Glory at I I Ak- 5ar Ben Den, Monday, 8:00 P. M. I 1 June 2 I than 100 men will form His Majesty’s retinue of attendants at the Den. All is in readiness for the Big Opening except more members. The opening date will soon be here. His Majesty promises immunity to those joining now. Don’t delay, for delay may mean ex tinction. Remember, all men who join Ak-Sar-Ben be fore June 2d will not be initiated. “SAMSON” I MEN OF OMAHA I Ilf You Believe in Omaha~If You Believe in Boosting Omaha-If You I W^anf To Be a Part of the Biggest, Best Boosting Bod) in the World I Join Ak-Sar-Ben Before June 2 I This advertisement made possible by the following prominent boosters for Ak-Sar-Ben: I P1GGLSTORESGLEY CARPENTER PAPER C0- NATIONAL AMERICAN I H. A. WOLF CO. ftrf ins m fi Judu. Stundtri, Did. M|r. * ltvlli 1™0. L U. B C. E. WALRATH I ITEN BISCUIT CO. NELSON C. PRATT O H. B.n..«Lr. Pr... w J CQAD NICHOLAS OIL CORP. Pr" F,our Mi,u Co MBuainpu la Good, Thank You” U. S. OIL WORKS * !,