Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Omaha morning bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 1922-1927 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 14, 1923)
Pelham Affair touts' Traci/ • CHAPTER I. The “Agony" Column. The express frorq Paris was more crowded than usual that June eve ning when it drew up at the Contin ental arrival platform of Victoria sta tion. Even the porters noticed the extra number of carriages and the density of their human freight. "What's up, Tom?" inquired one of his nearest mate. “Is there an other conference on?" "P. nml O. special from Marseilles.'' explained his better informed friend. "Oh, is that it?" The speaker, an old soldier, wondered whether or not he would recognize any fare from the land of lnd. He did. Such is the strang hap of things. He. out of the hundreds brought there by duty, the one man among the millions of London who could set iu action forces which would wreck some lives and change the course of many others, was hailed by an alert, bronzed traveler leaning out through an open window. "I say—are .you free to look after my traps?" came the query. "Yes. sir." "Right-o. Grab this! 1 have two more bags here, and a couple of cabin trunks in the van." "This," was a suit case, with a label. The porter glanced at the address: "Captain Arthur Pelham, Passenger from Bombay to London, per P. and O. SS Naldera." "Well, that's rum—that's wot it is!" lie communed, while seizing the re maining portmanteaux. But he knew his job, and gave the necessary direc ts ns: “You’ll fintf me at the customers barrier, sir. There's no hurry. It'll tike ’em quarter of an hour or more to empty them luggage vans.” In a few minutes the two come together again in the midst of a crowd of laughing, joyous people, because few trains in the world bring to gether relatives and friends parted so long and so far as the weekly express which covers the last stage of the long journey from the east. You Don’t Have to Tell Your Age fly our system of fitting glasses, the age has nothing to do with the results we get. We correct DEFECTIVE VISION. All w« need is YOU. BIFOCAL LENSES Distance and near vision in one lens. Lenses only $7.00 The large shelltex spectacles or eye glasses, DISTANCE or lor NEAR WORK, only $6.00 Same service in our So. Side Stora 24th and N Sts. MA 07S4 Flitton Optica! Co. j 13th Floor lat Nat'I Bk. JA 1953 AIM KRTIHKMKNT. SALTS FINE FOB When Bark Hurts Flush Your Kid neys hs Y ou Clean Your Bowels. Most folks forget that the kidneys, like the bowels, sometimes get slug ash and clogged and need a (lushing occasionally, else we have backache ■ nd dull misery In the kidney region, levers headache, rheumatic twinges, orpid liver, acid stomach, sleepless less and all sorts of bladder disor lers. You simply must keep your kidneys ictive and clean and the moment you eel an ache or pain in the kidney ■eglon begin drinking lots of water. \iso get about four ounces of Jad -'alts from any good drug store here, ake a tablespoonful In a glass of cater before breakfast for a few days ind your kidneys will then act fine, 'his famous salts is made from the n-id of grapes and lemon Juice, com lined with lithia, and Is Intended to lush clogged kidneys and help stlmu ite them to activity. It also helps neutralize the acids In the urine so hey no longer irritate, thus helping 'o relieve bladder disorders. Jad Salts is Inexpensive; makes a lellghtful effervescent lithia water Irlnk which everybody should take low and then to help keep their kid leys clean. A well-known local druggist says he tells lots of Jad Salts to folks who jelleve In trying to correct kidney '.rouble while It Is only trouble. By *11 means have your physician ex lmlne yotfr kidneys at least twice a rear. \ll\ KKTIHKMJi.NT. "fleniiine Bayer Tablets of Aspirin" have Imen proved safe by millions and prescribed by physicians over twenly ihrec years for Colds and grippe nils ery. Handy boxes of twelve tablets eost only few rents at ally drug store Karfi parkagi contains proven direr lions for Colds and M ils how to pro pare an Aspirin gargle for sore throat and tonsllltls Evidently Captain Pelham had none (o welcome him—in London, at any rate. He did not seem to pay heed to the fact that even his fellow-pas sengers left him alone at the moment. But the porter was Interested. "Beg pawdon, sir," he said. "I 'ap pened ter see yer nyme on tho tag, an' I thort I rekkernized you the min nit you looked aht o' the carriage. Still, you can’t he Sir Arthur Pel ham, Bart, but you're orful like him, In some w'ys.’’ Pelham was applying a lighted match to the end of a fresh cigar. He hesitated a moment, but decided not to waste the match, so he was given an appreciable pause in which to col lect his wits. Then he looked sharply at his unknown acquaintance. “Where rjid you meet my cousin?" he demanded, with the tone of one who is surprised if not specially pleas ed by the discovery that he should be bracketed with Sir Arthur Pelham, Bart., the instant he set foot In Lon don. "I think we must both ha’ bin hit in the quarries at Loos, sir, 'cause the first time I sawr 'im 'e was lyin’ there alongside me. Then they put him in thee ♦ ne-t mine in a German field hospital. Fair knocked aht, 'e was, aiu4 c liioriun , an' t? k<jp sayln 'Vaquero,' 'Matador' an’ ‘Solxante neuf,’ ns though answerin’ to nymes in a roll-call. . . .Just keep an eye for your trunks, sir. When you spots ’em I'll 'ave 'em on the bench. Pore gentleman! 'E died at d'ylight!" "He what?” “Went west, sir. At least I thort so. They took him an' another of ficer orf.” "You were mistaken. He is not dead hut very much alive. And how on earth can you remember those for eign words?" "That'S the queer part of it. sir. That's w'y I said it was funi when I twigged you in the trine. You know the papers 'ave wot they call an 'Agony' column, sir?" "Yes.” "Well, I mikes a point o' gatherin’ one o’ them pipers every mornln’ to look owver when things are a bit quiet, an' blow me if 1 don't see them very words in a hadvertisement every two or three d’ys quite recent. ‘Va quero.' 'Matador,' Soixante neuf—but that larst one in figures—each of ’em a-snappin’ at the others quite vicious like. So, you see, sir, they was fresh in me mind when you turned up all the w'y from bloomin’ old Injia. It was pretty 'ot at Colaba Point when you passed the battery, sir, that is. if you kem strite ’ome.” "Yes. I left Peshawur in the mid die of May." "My word! I was in Ali Musjid all one 'ot weather, an’ they growl 'ere if the glnss touches SO! Excuse me, sir, but its a fair treat ter meet anyone from the old show." "By the way, those are my cabin trunks, the two with the white bands.” The porter shouldered tho smaller bags. "Meet me on the other side of the bench, sir. I'll 'ave you clear in a Jiffy." The customs formalities were slight. Young officers arriving from the far east may have an extra box of cher oots tucked away among their clothes hut they are not the gentry fir whom close watch is kept—a much closer watch than many people suspect. Judging from the seemingly casual scrutiny given to strangers reaching British ports. Captain Pelham's lug gage was soon stowed in a taxi, and the porter received a liberal tip. The traveler halted on the step—why, he never knew afterwards, though he often puzzled his brains to find a rea son. ‘‘What newspapers did those adver tisements appear in?" he said. The man told him. "Ami what is your name?" "JeriUins. sir. Corporal In the Fitsi Hers, (loin’ to a hotel, sir?" "I—yes—the Savoy.” Such was the manner of Arthur Pelham's return to the homeland after four years of war and three of foreign service. He neither dressed for dinner nor went out, but sat In the foyer, after a light meal, and tried to sum up this new England front the, samples presented by the people who loitered or passed. Appar ently, he was Itored by the result, as he was In bed by 10 o'clock. Next morning he called at the war office. After a half hour of depart mental Indifference he walked out a civilian, being one of the later shoots from the tree of empire which had to be lopped off by the economical axe More by way of saying something than with any hope of a favorable an swer, he asked a man In the war office If there was any sort of Job going on in East Africa. "Not on your life, old bean,” came the reply. 'They're cutting down all along the line. A lot of our fellows are starting poultry farms, and some are growing apples In Nova Scotia. I hear well of the apples, and am off there myself next month." Eggs—and apples—strange substi tutes for villainous saltpetre and Its by-products! Pelham strolled past hts army bankers’ office, but did not call in. He had £40 In hts pocket, and retiring gratuity of £1,200 was lodged to his credit. He was safe from star vation, therefore for a few years, but he disliked the notion of being at a loose end. Ho had neither profession nor prospects. He was well educated, and spoke French and Persian. Ills late colonel's "confidential report" had described him as a "born leader of men." Here, in England, Judging from newspaper statlstcs, he was one of two millions of unemployed. Now. given the conditions, what was a horn leader of men to do? The first step was obvious. He, too, must economize, lie sought an estate agent, found a suite of furnished, rooms In the Innesmore Mansions, off Tottenham < 'ourt road, look them for three months, and entered Into pos session at once. men, naving an hour to spare, he went to the news paper office mentioned by the rail way porter, and searched tlie files. Just six days earlier—the same is sue announced that “Humorist” had won the derby—he found the latest announcement of personal Interest In “the Agony Column.'* There were others, at intervals of a few days. Apparently, the series began about the middle of May. On the 17th ap peared the following: 69—[ am here. At present I neither vlslt nor write. Tou will comprehend. Announce rendezvous, data and hour this column. MATADOR. On the 21st came what is known in law as an Intervener: 69—Matador la a worm T.eave him to me I'll crush him beneath mv heal. Hut me you muat pee —VAQUERO. To this was appended a box num ber for correspondence. May 24th produced two advertise merits A foreman printer, clearly with an eyo to effect arranged them ar follows: VAQUERO—Neither I 69 nor I fear you To your depert, Jackal!— MATA DOR. MATAPi R and VAQUERO—I deemed >on dead. Y« u poon will be.—69. After an Interval of five days one of the trio grew angry! 69 H* wnrr | My patience Ip exhausted Vurttier silence Ip urpI'-n* An for Mata dor. | spit on him —VAQUERO Then, last of all, on the day after the derby: 69—-Vmiusro and I hnve met It was dangerous. but we unite In vengeeuce. unless This Is \ rpir flusl warning— MATADUIt Pc*lham bought copies of the news paper, which wen ci bulky that, h< cut out the advertisements and threw away the sheets. He was nut awai* 1 that the clerk who had attended to t im was covertly Interested. Mean while, he had been wondering, what all this rhodomontade meant, since the railway porter's unsought state ment definitely connected three queer people with Sir Arthur Pelham. It was almost provable that two wete foreigners. The phrases they dised, the disguised names they figured un der, were un-English. If so, could It be possible that "69” was his cousin, his own namesake? He despised the man for good and sufficient reasons, hut it was certainly a strange thing that a British barouet, who, with all his faults, had served his country with distinction during the war, should find it necessary to masquer ade in such cryptic language in the advertising columns of a newspaper. He was placing the liltle slips iq his pocketbook when a mad notion ob sessed him. Perhaps it would annoy and even frighten the triumvirate If someone else took a hand in the game. The joke would not cost much, and memories of bygone indignities spurred him to it. So, finding the requisite form on the counter where he stood, he wrote: 6». MATADOR and VAQt’ERO—I »m after you. Run, or you'll bo tossed.— BULL. He was somewhat taken aback when a clerk, not the one who had supplied the newspapers, demanded 10 shillings, together with his name and address. "Is that the correct charge?” he In quired. "Yes, sir. That is the minimum for two lines, with 5 shillings for each additional line.” Pelham hesitated, but paid, wrote his name and new address, and went out, resolving cheerfully to save something on a cheap luncheon; hu mor, It appeared, was expensive now adays, if published at advertising rates. Meanwhile, the two clerks were in consultation. “Isn't that one of the ads Scot land Yard is inquiring into?” said one. "Yes. The other addresses are duds. 1 think, but this one strikes me as genuine,” said his friend. "What about it?” "Oh, the Yard will see it in the morning and send someone along.” The first speaker thought It would be as well to ring up the criminal investigation department at once, but did not say so. He believed in mind ing his own business. 1< inu'linlfil In The Morning nee.) Today’s Social Gaieties Mr*. J, K. Julver is entertaining at a buffet supper for Mrs. Horace Chapin of Batavia, N. Y. Miss Beulah Sharp will entertain at a tea at her home Wednesday in honor of Mrs. Thomas D. Metcalfe. Mrs. F. A. Nash, dinner for Mrs. K. J. McVann, guest of Mrs. Mar garet Hynes. Mrs. Frank Bender, bridge for Mr*. Horace Chapin of Batavia. N. Y., guest of Mrs. Karl Sterricker. The Corinthian club first dinner dance of the season at the Masonic temple. Mr. and Mrs. John Caldwell will entertain at dinner at their home. Mr. and Mrs. Henry Doorly will entertain at dinner at their home in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Edgar Scott. Mrs. Edward E. Burke will give a . Ill and cross last night ? DR. CALDWELLS^ ^SYRUP PEPSIN brought vigor bp morning How To Keep A Child Healthy A GENERATION ago parents thought that sickness was a part of a child’s life, but we know better now. The secret Is in the food the mother allows the child to cat, and in watching that elimination occurs regularly two or three times a day. Mrs. J. Russell of 19,141 Havana Ave., Detroit. Mich., keeps her family of two young children in perfect health with Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin, and Mrs. R. L. Smith of 519 Maple Ave., East Pittsburg, Pa., says her family of three chil dren have never been sick a day since giving them Syrup Pepsin. A Substitute for Physics Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin Is a scientific compound of Egyptian senna w ith i>epsin and suitable aromatics. The formula is on every package. You will find you do not have to force children to take it, and it is much lietter for them than castor oil, calomel or coal-tar drugs like phenolphthalein even if covered with sugar or chocolate. Syrup Pepsin is mild and gentle in action and your child will have an easy passage without griping or strain. It does not contain narcotics, and you can give it with absolute safety to an infant at the breast. "Magic” in a Teaspoonful Every store that sells medicines sells Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin, and the cost is less than a cent a dose. Give half a teaspoonful to any ailing baby or child at night when you put it to bed and you will find a happy, laugh ing youngster in the morning. Take Syrup Pepsin yourself when coastipated, and give it to any member of the family young or old, for any ailment due to constipation, such as bil iousness, headache, lack of appetite, sleepless ness, bad breath, cankers, fever sores, indi gestion, and to break up fevers and colds. Stop that first sneeze or sniffle and you will have a healthy winter. ■ ••■••••■■••■•a If You Want to Try It Free Before Burins aiunMiiuaMn a ■ “Svrup Prpsin,” 516 Washington St., ; Monticello, Illinois. J / need a portd laxative and would like to prose trhai you * ay about Dr. CsUdwell I Syrup • Pepsin by actual lest. Send ms a free trial buttle. Address to a a a J Sams_ , ____ ... . . • Address_1_ a a a _ ___ __ _ _ 2 Not mo^e than one free trial bottle to a family ---— K ■r -T Serves All—Always Morning, Noon and Night! 0 Home and Industry needs me! I am their faithful servant, always—morning, noon and night; twenty-four hours, every day in the year. I work on Sundays and don’t recognize holidays. • To the Omaha Home, I bring warmth, conveniences and pleasure. I drive away drudg ery. To Omaha Industry 1 have brought better working condi tions for labor; lifted many burdens of the workers, and operate great plants and fac tories. I AM ELECTRICITY! Without question Electricity is a great servant. Its past is brilliant. Its future looms even greater. Electricity — rather the low power rates here — have at tracted many industries to Omaha. A city grows as its industries develop. Figures show Omaha factories and plants are greatly increas ing their output annually. THE CITY IS GROVVINC. Omaha Is a Great Place In Which to Live! Nebraska m Power <&. luncheon on Wednesday at the Omaha club for Mrs. Charlse F. Johannes and Mrs. E. W. Guenther. Miss Beulah Sharp at home at tea this afternoon. Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Fraser, dinner at their home. Mrs. A. L. Reed, picnic supper for Mrs. E. J. McVann. truest of Mrs. Margaret Hynes. and Harrington Mills of Washington, D. C. Dinner dance at Athletic club, with song review by Frank Peterson formerly of the Rainbow Gardens in Chicago. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Rann Ken nedy, luncheon guests of Mrs. Arthur Gu Ion and h'onored at dinner by Mrs. George Prlnz. (lolline-^ oloott. The marriage of Mis* Virginia Wol cott of New York City, and Robert <i. Collin* of Omaha, was quietly sol emnized last Thursday in Des Moines, la., Itr. Owen of 8t. Pauls Episcopal church, officiating. Mr. Collins and his bride are residing at the Brans1 ford hotel. Bee Want Ad* Produce Results. "STYLE WITHOUT i"TTW^GANCE^ ^i9*f^2TD0UGLAS St. - -■■■■■ ~ "■'■■v ^A.. ■—.. ..sz=zz^^3 I Hundreds of Omaha Women Will Actually Save Thousands of Dollars in This Sale Thursday We Believe This Event to Be Absolutely Unparalleled in the Merchandising History of Omaha An Astounding Sale of 350 Wondrous Gowns A sale that fairly “takes one’s breath” at first. Three hundred and fifty gowns and dresses— the influence of Paris indelibly woven in to each of them—for every formal and informal occa sion. Sale Starts Thurday i.9 A. M. Several of the gowns modeled by members of > the Junior league at the Style Show will be in cluded in this wonder ful sale Thursday. Models developed from fabrics that would cost you much more than 539.50 to buy the material alone. If We Told You the Regular Prices of These Dresses—If We Told You in DOLLARS Exactly How Much You Can Save, the Savings and Values Would Seem Too Enormous to Be Possible Models expressing the supreme in fashion; beauty and designing genius. Truly, their beauty begins where the writer’s (and your) imagination leaves off. Just imagine for a moment the thrill you’ll actually experience choos ing such gowns and dresses tomorrow for a mere $39.50. Satins Crepe Elizabeth Cantons Rroehe ( ropes Chiffon Velvet• Jacquards Crepe Rornnincs \ovelty Velours Laces Chiffons Metallic Lace Knitted Charmeen Roirct Tu ills \ bewitching nrray of colon* and color combinations. Gowns weighed with twinkling jewels, flashing bead*. Chinese embroidery or lavish trimming* of fur. Gowns for the most exclusive functions afternoon teas, bridge parties. Country club receptions. Kntire sixth floor devoted to this great sale Thursday.