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About The Omaha morning bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 1922-1927 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 5, 1923)
I-w The Morning Bee M O R N I N G—E V E N I N G—S U N D A Y THE BEE PUBLISHING CO.. Publisher. MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS The Associated Press, of which The Bee is a member. Is exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all new* dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper, and also the local news published herein. All rights of republication of our special dispatches are also reserved. BEE TELEPHONES Private Branch Exchange. Ask for the Department at Untie or Per.on Wanted. For Night Call. After 10 P. M.: vnnn Editorial Department. AT lantic 1021 or AT. 1042. OFFICES Main Office—17th and Farnam Council Bluff.—15 Scott St. S. Side, N. W. Cor. 24th and N. New York—World Bldg. Detroit—Ford Bldg. Chicago—Tribune Bldg. Kanaa, City—Bryant Bldg. 8t. Louis—Syndicate Trust Los Angeles—^Horner-Laughiin „ Bldg. Bldg. San Francisco—Hearst Bldg. Atlanta—Atlanta Trust Bldg. GUS RENZE, ARTIFICER. if it required brains and initiative to conceive the pageant of Historic Patriotic America, do not overlook the fact that it required brains and initiative in equal amounts to make it a fact. And while bouquets are being handed around to those responsi ble for that great pageant, Gus Renze will have them heaped about him until his rubicund face, wreathed in smiles, will well nigh be hidden from sight. The success of the pageant would have been small indeed had there been no Gus Renze to put into visi ble form the ideas of the men who sponsored the floats. Gus has become such an institution that there is a tendency to take him and his work for granted, which condition is to be deplored. There is only one Gus Renze, and glory be, his abiding place is Omaha, Nebraska. His inventive brain and cunning hand have contributed to the amusement and in struction of hundreds of thousands, but Wednesday’s brilliant display was the culmination of all his years of splendid effort. Every year for nearly 30 years Gus has been building floats for Ak-Sar^-Ben parades and pageants, and devising horrific tortures for those who would become subjects of King Ak-Sar-Ben, and each year has shown a long step upward in achievement. We have no fear that if spared to us Gus will fail to con tinue to improve upon the past, but at times we wonder how he is going to manage it. That wonder grows amazing great as we look back upon his crown ing achievement of October 3, 1923. A NEW STAR IN NEBRASKA’S\ CROWN. Will the numerous and brilliant stars in Nebras ka’s crown of superior production make room for the new star of the North Platte Valley cante loupel Luscious and delicious beyond any compari son with the product of any other section, they made an instantaneous hit east, north, west and south. They met the famed Imperial valley melon half way to the coast and stopped its eastward prog ress. They enfiladed and surrounded the Rocky Ford product and kept it confined to its own baili wick. And it carried further and added to the fame already possessed by Nebraska for producing the best of everything. It emphasized anew the truth fulness of the claim that of all good things Ne braska produces the best; of all bad things the least. Raising canteloupes is no new thing in Nebraska, but to the Scottsbluff section of the North Platte valley must go the credit of raising them for the eastern market in quantity. The effort so auspicious ly begun this year proved a wonderful success, and the 140 experimental acres’ seed this year will be increased several hundred per cent next year. The soil and climate of that favored section are peculiar ly adapted to the successful production of cante Ioupes, and there are'men of vision in that part of the state who have the serve and the enterprise to lead the way to a greater diversity of soil products. BARBERS THEN; TONSOR1AL ARTISTS NOW. Perhaps we should not expect to be shaved and have our hair trimmed as cheaply by tonsorial art ists as we did when similar work was performed by barbers. But our reaction toward the suggestion that haircuts may soon be a dollar per is to emulate the late unlamented Absalom, even though forked trees be unusually prevalent. The women, God bless them, may bob their hair at a dollar per bob, but as for us we'll wear our hair in a braid. It will be admitted that in the old days when we paid 25 cents for a hair cut, a hair cut was all we got. We got neither convenience, sanitation nor cleanliness. The barber shop of today is far ahead of the old-time shop in cleanliness, physically and morally. Time was, and not so very long ago, when the two places the women of any community most dreaded to pass were the saloon and the barber shop. It is barely possible that if the saloon had been uplifted in the same ratio as the barber shop it might yet be in existence. Naturally increased prices accompanied increased comfort and cleanli ness in the barber shops, and few indeed were the complaints when prices were increased in proportion. But when it comes to paying a dollar to have our hirsute adornment abbreviated—well, we simply don’t. If the women may change the custom of ages over night, so to speak, and bob their hair, then we men are privileged to change back to the custom that prevailed among us in past ages, and wear our hair in loag flowing tresses or in a braid, just as we see fit. HISTORIC POINTS TOO SOON FORGOTTEN.. Comes now the news that old Fort Laramie, in Wyoming, abandoned by the government about 18(58, ia to be made into a pleasure resort. Even making over the site of the old fort into a pleasure resort is preferable to allowing it to be utterly forgotten. It would be far better if the government again secured possession and preserved it as a reminder of a glorious page in American history. It Would be a splendid site for the erection ami maintenance of a western West Point, and far better for the site of our national military academy than the one now in use. There yet remain at b ort Laramie three or four of the old buildings formerly occupied as officers’ quarters, and one still may see remains of the old dam, the old parade ground, the old barracks and the old ammunition storehouse. Changes in the west have been so rapid of late years that we are prone to forget the things that made the present west possible. , Old Fort Laramie was one of the high spots on the cl(| Oregon Trail. It was a central point for defense against Indian forays, and at one time the principal point on the Pony Express line between St. Joseph and Sacramento. For sentimental reasons, if for no other, the government should hasten to rectify the mistake that was made when the old fort was abandoned and the reservation sold, buying it back and either making It the site for a western military school or a national park that would always be a reminder of the stirring scenes and incidents of those flofiou* days when the west was being won. LAST FLIGHT OF THE LARAMIE BOOMERANG. The Laramie Boomerang, made famous by Bill Nye, has made its last flight. Slowly but surely sink ing into obscurity from the day Bill Nye left it, the Boomerang has been absorbed by the Laramie Daily Republican. The news of the absorption is calculat ed to bring a pang of regret to the older member! of the newspaper craft in the middle west. Perhaps Bill Nye’s peculiar brand of humor would not make much of a hit in these days, for times have changed, even in the west, since the day when Bill’s editorial office was in a loft over a Laramie livery stable and his readers were advised to tickle the mule’s heels and take the elevator. That joke went big then, but it wouldn’t get a rise now. The livery stables of that day have been replaced by garages, and the present generation is more familiar with gasoline than with mules. We have seen some great changes in our styles of humor since the days when Bill Nye gnd his Boom erang were sending waves of laughter over America, just as we have seen equally great changes in Lar amie and the entire west. But it appears to some that the changes in Laramie and the west have been for the better in a greater degree than the changes in our styles of humor. The news of the Boomerang’s disappearance will cause a pang of re gret in the hearts of old-timers who remember the joys they experienced while reading the old Burling ton Hawkeye of Bob Burdette’s day, the old Ar kansaw Traveler, the Toledo Blade while John R. Locke wras writing his inimitable “Petroleum V. Nasby” letters, and the Boston Herald when Ben P. Shilabar was doing his “Mrs. Partington" stuff. And, too, are our present day “Kolumn Konductors” do ing any better work than Shaw performed in his “Josh Billings" epigrams? The Laramie Boomerang has been in a sad state of innocuous desuetude for many years, but its final obsequies were not unattended by mourners, who recalled the old days when it was a source of joy. It is reported that a newly invented steel rod running entirely around the automobile will be pro tection against the results of collisions. A nice steel cell running entirely around the drunken or reckless automobile driver will contribute still further to similar results. “Judges may open jail food inquiry,” says a head line. It is to be hoped that doesn’t mean the opening of a can of embalmed beef, such as was provided for the boys in the Yanko-Spanko war. The odor from jailward is bad enough as it is. “Cuptacathesia,” a sixth sense that enables the possessor to intuitively perceive the truth, has been discovered by a French scientist. He asserts that this sixth sense is especially developed in women. A lot of husbands will wonder why this is hailed as a recent discovery. Prohibition Commissioner Haynes is going to put the story of prohibition on the silver screen. Doubt less the picture will be so moving that there will be wet eyes a plenty, even though throats be dry. Fred Palmtag, erstwhile detective, who has re cently inherited $30,000, announces that he will run for the office of police commissioner. From whom is it said that his money is soon parted? If President Coolidge was annoyed by the howls and growls of Laddie Buck and -Peter Pan, White House dogs, what will happen when senate and house begin snarling and yapping? Burbank has succeeded in crossing peaches with plums. We are waiting for the man who can suc cessfully cross the weekly pay check with the house hold expense account. The southern California Methodist conference purposes establishing a daily newspaper. Wouldn't it be cheaper to have the Bewing societies meet oftener? The people who expected a lot of bloodshed in Oklahoma are the same people who expected the anthracite conference to result in a reduced price for coal. fn the old days prizefighters retired and started saloons. The fact that we have eliminated the saloons may provide a valuable tip as to the pugs. The governors will hold their "dry meet” on October 20. The fact that it is to be a meeting of governors is the only unique thing about it. The refusal of the Omaha library authorities to put a ban on "Black Oxen” will doubtless result in lessening the drawing power of the yoke. The 60th anniversary of the typewriter (ma chine) has just been celebrated. We took cognizance of it, but didn’t celebrate it. "Can the German mark come back?” asks a con temporary. It will have to come a long ways up be fore it can even start back. “School books blown two miles by tornado,” said a headline. "We don’t care if you never come back,” sang the pupils. Speaking of hard cider as a beverage, did you ever see a man who knowingly imbibed too freely of it the second time? Magnus Johnson is now in Washington and the Money Devil has fled shrieking to its innermost lair in Wall street. The housewue who has a new recipe for jelly to try out will pay no attention to propositions for a sugar boycott. Those European countries who insist upon draw ing for a king are getting two-spots with expected regularity. A.scientist insists that the meal of the future will be an electric shock. Currants? Homespun Verse —By Onfalls'* Own Port— Robert Worthington Davie “KEEP SMILING.” Keep smiling, they tell us when something goes wrong, Look gloom In the face with a cheerfulness strong, Have faith end the clouds from the heavens will hie, The sun will come forth and the gloominess die A space will elapse and the night will have flown, And rapture Instead of depression ho known; A wonderful change for the better we'll find. And presently race from the sadness behind. But often we wonder how close they pursue The creeds they are preaching to me and to you; It's easy to nponser the ritual plan, But harder to follow—when you are ■ man. The Omaha Bee welcomes let ters from readers recording in timate observations of animals or plants. A bird perhaps oik lias seen while waiting for a street car, or a voluntary flower or some creature one lias come upon In the woods away from the noise of the city—these are—and always have been—of interest to ethers. IN ONE YARD. Last spring Mr. and Mrs. Robin Red Breast investigated the pillar on the front porch as a suitable place to build their home. After much chattering and discussing In which Madam Robin Red Breast did the most of the talking and Mr. Robin Red Breast mildly assented to all that she said, the work was begun. All day Saturday and Sunday they worked most industriously and built a cosy nest of mud and straw and grass. This post was opposite my studio window and the following Monday when pupils began to come for their lessons, Madam Robin Red Breast eyed them very sharply through the window. The morning passed and still she was watching. Later in the day when Mr. Robin Red Breast appeared on the scene a great discussion followed. She was so decided and animated in her talk that one could fancy that they understood what she was saying. Evidently she was telling him <hnt site could not have her nest whers so many people could watch her all the time and that it must be moved. At first he objected quite decidedly: but his protests grew fainter and fainter ns she continued her talk. The result of the discussion was that they took the nest to pieces and rebuilt it on the pillar at the other end of the porch. Here they raised a family of four young robins. They grew so tame that mother robin would Rit on her nest when we were out on the porch and look at us with her bright eyes and when the little birds were hatched they would fly over our heads going back and forth with food for the hungry mouths. After the young robins flew away, a pair of sparrows preempted the nest and raised a brood of young. We then took the nest down so as to be free from the annoyance of their noisy chatter. This is the first time I ever knew robins to build on the porch and we are waiting to see If they will return next spring. A large bird pool In the back yard Is a constant source of delight. From early spring till late It Is in constant use. Many times a dozen or more birds have been bathing at once: spar rows. robins, grackles. flicker*, gros beaks, catbirds. bluejays. wild canaries, bluebirds and turtle doves are there enjoying themselves. An apple tree close by affords them a fine place In which to finish their toilet. A mulberry tree and a larg» elder berry bush In the back yard furnish them food so I always have plegty of birds around my home. • • • A pair of red squirrels grew so tame that they would eat out of my hand and follow me into the hall chattering and asking for nuts. They grew too tame for their own good and one day a neighbor's dog manglpd one so badly that It had to he killed. For a long time the other was absent. Finally It ventured hack and would sit on the porch railing at my elbow and eat nuta out of my hand while reading. It also comjs to the kitchen door asking for nuts and will take them from my hand ohe bv one and run and bury them In diffejent plnees In the yard. One day there wns a great commo tion in the hack yard. Such a chatter ing and scolding is rarely heard In birdland. Going nut to see what had occurred, a funny sight was beheld. Near a tree was a handful of corn on (he ground. A squirrel was harked up against tho tree surrounded hy a group of bluejays, robins and spar rows. Every time the squirrel would Jump for the corn the bluejays would pounce upon him. scolding at the top of their voices and #in other birds Joining In the protest. This continued for several minutes when Mr. Squirrel gave up the Job and scampered up the tree. Then the birds soon devour ed the corn. Water, food and shelter have made my yard a haven of rest for the birds and they aie a constant source of pleasure. There are hut f' W days when there Is not some bird in the yard and each season brings « new one. MRS CORA A. REELS. Norfolk. Neb • Daily Prayer Her ,1ns. which lire many, in for Klven—Luke 7: 47. Heavenly Father, through the dark ness Thou hast bloused us with Thy Rift of sloop and rest. Wo thank The* for It. The new day, too, Is Thy Rift, snd for It wo give Then thanks. Help us to begin the day with a glad senso of Thy reality. Thy nearness, Thy love, Thy gracious Fatherhood. Grnnt tis. wo beseech Thee, a fresh sense of Thy forgiving grace, that the sins of the past may not haunt and accuse us. Grant ns Thy helping grace, that we mny ho steadfast In the presence of temptation: ths: wo may he cheerful and faithful tn ihe per formance of our tnska; that we mnv carry our cross of trial. If such shall he laid upon us. bravely and unflinch ingly: that wo may t ut awsv our self ishness and unklndnoss, and live to day a loving Ilfs with our d"ir ones and all others with whom wo shall have to do. Our help Is In Thee. ltrlng to our remembrance Tby groat promises. Make the Savlonrhood of Christ real In our hearts today. Shod forth Thy Holy Spirit pnew within us. And wliat we ask for our selves, grant, we beseech Th-o, In Tby groat goodness, to others. Through Jesus Christ, oqr Lord. Amen. PROF THOMAS TROTTFR, 1> n.. Toronto, Oflt., Cinmla NET AVERAGE CIRCULATION for Au|uil, 1923, of THE OMA1JA BEE Daily .72,114 •Sunday .75,138 Does not Include return*, left overs, samples nr papers spoiled !r printing and Includes nr special sales. B. BREWER, Gen. Mgr. V. A. BRIDGE, Cir. Mgr. Subscribed and sworn to befor* ms this 4th day of September, 192.1. W. H QU1VEY, (Seal) Notary Public “The People's Voice" Editorials from rsadsrt of Tbe Moraine flea. Readers of The Morning Ben art invited to use this column freely for expression on matters of publlo toterest. ComtiCopia! Lincoln.*—To the Editor of The Omaha Bee: Now that the most of Nebraska's corn crop is safely out of the way of frost, this is about tho only word that adequately describes crop conditions In this state this year. 1923. 1922. 8-Yr. Av. Farm Pr. (3 last ciphers omitted.) 1922.1923 Corn ...267,418 182.400 204.200 .44 .C9 Wheat . 31,382 59.838 5*;.418 .75 .ul Hay _ 6,939 6,200 5.571 . Oats ... 86.977 66.106 78,938 .26 *31 Harley . 9.586 4.356 6,844 .38 .42 Potatoes. 9.912 11,676 9,039 .76 .95 llay In tons. Other products in bushels. The estimated farm values of these crops on September 1, 1923, was $309, 122,100, compared with an estimated farm value of $199,822,280 on Septem ber 1, 1922. Adding sugar beets, rye, vegetables and fruit, the total value for 3923 nrnounts to approximately $315,000,000. Add another quarter of a billion dollars for live stock, dniry and poultry products, and the value amounts to $065,000,000. This Is an increase of approximately $100,000,000 over 1922 and $175,000,000 over 1921. In other words, the estimated farm value of all Nebraska crops, live stock, poultry and dairy products for Ne braska this year amounts to an aver age of $4,500 for euch farm family in the state. There is little that needs to be added to these figures. They, explain, better than anything else, the come back of the Nebraska farmer and the outlook for greatly Improved business condi tions during the forthcoming months. It is notable that In only one Instance is the yield less this year than it was last year, or than the five-year aver age. There has been a substantial in crease In the farm value of all crops except wheat, the yield of which was a little more than 50 per cent of 1922, and 6o per cent of the five-year aver age. A great deal has been said about wheat. Fact Is. this Is really a small Item to Nebraska farmers as a whole. It represents this year only about 8 per cent of the value of the six farm crops enumerated in the foregoing tabulation, and the decrease In value was far mere than accounted for In the Increase In value of hay and oats alone. This means more than appears on the face of the figures, for both hay and oats facili tate the more economical handling of livestock and do not have to be sold directly to the market If prices are not satisfactory. Also, the shortage of the wheat crop and the lmv price will prove a blessing In disguise, for the growing of wheat on the higher priced Nebraska lands Is a very doubt ful enterprise, and this will tend to further decrease the acreage. The decrease In wheat acreage this year was '20 per cent, and we anticipate that it will be 10 or 15 per cent next year. Com Is the cornerstone of Nebras ka's prosperity. This, with hay, pas tures and live stock. Is the foundation upon which the material progress of this state has been substantially built. The yield of com this year leaves Ne braska second only to Iowa and Il linois among all of the states of the I’nion. The price at the present time is satisfactory, as are also the prices of most kinds of farm livestock, dairy and poultry products. In that the number of hogs on Nebraska farms is greater than It has been for a long time, and with liberal numbers of cat tle. sheep, dairy cows and poultry, tin* outlook is the more encouraging. flenerally, business conditions arc favorable. Deposits in state banks have lnereased more than $5,000,000 over 1022. The national hanks have done equally well. Another large In crease In deposits will follow the mar keting of the com crop. Kteven mil lien dollars of the si2.ooo.nno that was bon*>wed ,,n three-year agricultural paper from the War Finance corpora tinn during tile fall of 1021 and the spring of 1022 has already been rep.il BAM H. M'KELVIE Political Braying. Omaha—To tho Editor of The Oma ha Bee: The World-Herald Is brag eing again In an nrtlrle, "New History Tells Achievements of the Jv-moerat Party In America." nnd enumerating among Ihese great achievement*. "Gave the farmers the rural credits sot, the creation of the Federal Re. serve bank system, which the demo cratic national headquarters states is the greatest piece of financial Icgl* tetlon In the world." Then on the edl tonal | ul the World HrruM e-litor Worrying about th« f.-ume: a financial condition, nnd talking about our “lost markets." and quoting Presi dent Coolldge's story to the Associated Press, "That it Is not the lack of credit blit the lack of markets that lies al the holtom of the farmers’ difficultte" ” Thousands of former democrats who left the party In Nebraska during the last election on account of the "Crime of 1920”—Federal Reserve bank de flation—which Gilbert M. Hitchcock, while senator of tho great common wealth of Nebraska misrepresented when he voted for tho Federal Re serve act. wonder what has got into the donkey to cause it to bray so loud. This debt creating money and credit octopus—Federal Reserve bank system and rural credits—which per niitted the farmers of Nebraska and every other slate In the union to get overwhelmingly In debt, then In 19?n withdrew their ere i t slid demanded payment of the debts, and refused further extensions of time, thereby causing the producers of the nation lo lose $31,000,000,000.00 leaving a trail of suicide, bankruptcy and ruin, to lie remembered as one of the great gchlevemenfs of the democrat party, the fathers of the Federal Reserve hank and rural credit systems. We are now surprised to hear the demo crat party gloat over their victory, and think of an election victory In 1924. The World-llsrald and ex Senator Gilbert M. Hitchcock should be the “From State and Nation” —Editorials from Other Newspapers— More Slot Machine*. From tho Fremont Tribune: An observing newspaper columnist goes into a rhapsody regarding a trouble saving Innovation at Chicago university. Some genlu* hus put In filling stations for fountain pens all around the campus, and Is reaping a big harvest. The student simply drops a penny, turns a handle and fills his pen. It was, an obvious thing, anybody would suppose—after It Is done. With a world full of gasoline filling sta tions, why not similar institutions for ink, where Ink la a commodity in universal demand'.' Why not go further with this brilliant Idea? Inquires the columnist. Why not a penny-ln-the-slot pencil sharpener on every street corner? Why not automatic shoe lace ven ders? And particularly, why not ma chines to make change? Here may be a chance for some enterprising manufacturer to make a fortune. The posalbillties of the slot machine have hardly been touched. The Menace of Youthful Car Driver*. From the Kansas City Star: The menace from youthful, reck less drivers of motor cars In Kansas City may be corrected by the en forcement of a law now on the statute books. No person under 16 years of •age Is permitted, under the state motor vehicle act, to drive a car on the public highways. Violators of the law are subject to heavy fines and imprisonment In the county Jail. It Is time for the police and county authorities to take action to check the reckless youths behind the steer ing wheels of their fathers' or em ployers’ cars. Frequently complaints have been made In the residence dis tricts particularly against boys driv ing delivery cars. They are a con stant menace of the lives of children and adults. The death recently of Mary Coatello, 5 years old. from a car driven by a 15-year-old boy, is only one of many such cases that con stantly keep the parents of the city In fear of similar tragedies. A Hint to Nimrod*. E.Iaar Howard in tbs Columbus Telfgrsm ■ When a good man l>ags a hunch of wild ducks he will distribute them among his friend* who are neither physically nor financially able tc go duck shooting. And If the successful hunter be a really g(^>d man. he w-il! always remove the feathers from the ducks before giving them to hts neigh bors. That's the way Jim Glibberson did—never even a pin feather on any duck which he presented to his neigh bor. Horsehair Snakes. From th* Knmaa City Post: In the Atlantic Monthly. Mrs. L. Emilio Pearsall throws down the gage of battle to the scientists by declaring that no matter what these scientists may say snakes are devel oped from horse hairs. She knows that they are thus developed beesuso she, herself, assisted in such devel opment. It was in this wise: When she wag a girl she stuck some horse hairs In the slitne of the watering trough and some weeks afterward a couple of little water snakes were found In the trough. As these snakes were not found in the trough before, but "after" she had stuck In the horse hairs. It foil ws as tlje necessity of logic thst said snakes came from said horse hairs. For accuracy of reasoning this choice bit from the Atlantic Is hard to expel. With one crack of her whip Mrs. Pearsall has driven the si ientists up a tree. No matter what they may say. she knows. Valorous !v she put her hands In the trough and "those snake* curled about my fingers." She has hsndled the snakes; she can doubt no more ■Which moves us to say that a lot if horsi lit: r snakes are suulrmlng ant wriggling through much of present day thought and speech. Congress enacts certain legislation and "after" that enactment business droops or revives. Therefore, this leg islation Is responsible for such re vivals or such depressions. The presi dent does this or that and "after" the doing we have good or hard times, therefore the presidential act brought these times about—horsehair snakes —horsehair snakes by the dozens With the coming of the lJth amendment came another crop of these snakes, nearly every economic Ism and social distress thst has cropped out slnre that amendment mnte Into being being attributed thereto. We didn't have this sort of time "before" prohibition. We have It since therefore prohibition did It! Which I' as logical as to say that as Nnsli got drunk "aftPr" the flood— last ones to advise President Calvin Coolldge on our "lost markets ' and especially when It propose* the former senator's pet scheme of the Wall street hankers for a hank of nations, model led after that great democratic achievement, the Federal Reserve bank system, a privately owned monopoly of money and credit, which is not only a cures but a menace to the people of tills nation, and the principle reason that thoueanda of former democrats in Nebraska, liko myself, in the last election, voted to keep Gilbert M: Hitchcock at hom£ and from further misrepresenting the people of Nebraska In the United States senate. Money Is the life blood of all bus! ness, and wo lost our markets when (lie privately owned Federal Reserve bank system withdrew- over 15.000.* 000,000 In currency from circulation Rnd destroyed It during the years 1020, 21, 22, and we never will have prosperity again until that money is restored buck to circulation, and the people who were deflated w-t!l see that the democrat party ts never riven another chance for such wilful betrayal of public trust os was ex hlhltrd during the Woodrow Wilson administration, with its proud record of Federal Reserve bank nnd rural credits system. ROY M. HARROP. 1 A larxnst selling Ifl ^uo/ify pencr/ in the world All perfect for every pur pose—as soft as you wish) as hard as you please) hut always smoother than vou had dreamed n hlaet .trgrrti (tk'iifl ct <uiibtai trait* i) Ah$ 3 tvf) tng American Lead Tend! Co. 220 Fifth A**.. N*w York Write for booklet on pencils, penholders, erasers, VENUS F.verpointed and VENUS Thin I.eadl there Is no report of hi* drunkenness before the flood—therefore the flood Is responsible for his drunkenness, though this Is the only historical Illustration of a spree being brought on by a ride on the water wagon, or, more strictly, "in” the water wagon ark, gentle reader. What a lot of ills have come to men since they ceased to wear suspenders and shirts that must be put on over the head! Charges up the Ills, then, to belts and open-front shirts. And so it goes, everywhere, in every watering trough the twisting and the wiggling of horsehair snakes. Scotch ’em! What’s the Answer? From tho Brooklyn Standard Union. The total exports of the United States to all of Europe during the first half of 1923 amounted to 3950, 000,000, or a decrease of 4 per cent under the corresponding figure of last year; Imports from Europe Into the United Htates during the same period rose to 3618,000,000, an Increase of 40 per cent over the 1922 figures. How do the democrats and their allies account for that? We were as sured when the present tariff law was under debate that the more Europe sold us the more Europe would buy from us and that the proposed law would prohibit the entry of European goods. Europe sold us 40 per cent more and bought from us 4 per cent less. SI earner Trunk Uriels on Europe. From the Minneapolis Tribune. It probably is close to the fact to say that about a fourth of those who will sit in the Sixty-eighth congress have romped around Europe more or less this summer on "investigating" tours. Wherefore the country may expect to be In for a vast deal of wind-jamming as a feature of the coming session. The continent-trot ters are well divided between repub licans and democrats, hence both sides of the political fence will be heard from. Many of the "investigations " were of the w hile-youwait order. In the luggage that went over with the in vestigators were a lot of Ideas fath ered and reared on this side. These ideas in many cases were shielded very carefully from European con tamination. It never was intended that they should come back so changed by the trip that they would not readily be recognized at home. Other ideas underwent quite a trans formation—so much so that the per sons who knew them best would scarcely believe they ever had been in this country at ail. It would be easy to name offhand quite a number of topics which, when they bob up in the coming session, will call forth bumptious recitals of what this, that or the other member heard, saw, felt and thought in his meander through Europe. Tariff. Im migration. shipping. international court, reparations, national debts, agriculture, army, navy, prohibition —all these and other subjects will be deftly turned to account so that the member who went abroad will feel that he is getting a little more of his money's worth nut of his trip. Most of the "reporting back" will show that It bears a definite relationship to the fact that there will be a presi dential and congressional election next year. So far as can be conjectured from preliminary outgivings of European investigators, the Wilson league of Abe Martin :5£wk£I sM, ^ suns We like quiet people, but Presi dent Coolidge ought t’ say some thin’ purty soon jest as a guaran tee that th’ gover'ment at Wash in’ton still lives. We hain’t read nothin’ more incredulous than “Ford won’t run." (Copyright, 1S!3.) nations holds less esteem In the col lective democratic mind In congress than it did four years ago. Just how itusslan sovietism will fare remains to be seen. It will have Its cham pions and its assailants, hut the sum total of the contributions is not likely to make much of a dent in American popular opinion. After the suitcase and steamer trunk verdicts have been spread out and dilated on by the own ers thereof, we as a country probably will settle back and consider that what we have done about Burope Is about what should have been done. Home Hun. “I played golf yesterday for the first time.’' “How did you make out?'1 "Finei Made a home run right s' the start. 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