PROPER WAY TO GLACE FRUIT.
RESULT OF GOVERN
MENT IHVESTIGATIDH
Government Investigation Shown Thai
Stock Foods Now on tho Market
Have Llttlo Value.
IlBwJ '"', wedded" permit tla 'meund fJ' AV M - S, fe'S
AdSftMl do boes from do Ollle Ma- jf MlJlii. XXVV. . Vv-fcl 9?
AA.VV H r lVX T.m" ' 1 ur ,
- h jt r-.y Mfc-i mjas
S$T- Mi- 3
.snow
way?
I
N" DIO shack wanted
yoz t u h li o a v e
clinkers, lie did,
huh? Well, I s'posu
yoz tolo where fell 1
ycz?"
"Nnw, not for de
hooka. I piles mo cnreus off do
lillnil at dls holo In do woods
an", wedder permit tin', mo and
do boea from do Ollle Ma
goo bolfll roost here 'til do
flickers." "Soy, how's do brnklos down dat
Do last tlmo mo an' do Honyak wnz dere,
de connio elevated us from tho Inside of a empty
Inter a cactus garden, four hundred and eighty-wan
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer treo wcoks.
JVn jve hits Alberquerquo nn I near had tuh beat
ia carpet tuh git grub. De olo gurrul would uv
Ngd mo wolkln only alio grubs mo foist, befoar she
brings out de wolk tools. Den I digs."
"Dero's nuttin' like dat, dero, dese days. Doy,
leaves do pies an' eats out In do opuu an' de ho
wot can't freezo to wan meal un hour don't git no
soft wolds from dia lulu."
That rinlmnted, brilliant and engrossing reper
toire was only ono of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo reminiscences told
by members of tho great army of tho unwashed
j which assembled in convention not many months
. ago at Clifford, III., for the National Hobo re
L union.
Wfr. Small tramps, fat tramps, tall tramps, short
y tramps, red-headed ones, blondes, colored tramps,
i low-down tramps, tramps with high personal re
gard for their vocations, and others who were
sneaky nnd might bo caught working, weio It uot
lor tho watchfulness of their brothers, all assem
bled in solemn conclave to worship their goddess,
ltest.
These sons of rest but they were not all sons,
there were several daughters of rest all paid their
respects to tho cause for which they aro fighting
in tholr own tactless way. They, for the nine
teenth time, sworo loyalty to tho association's mot
to: "Work, washing and worry aie weapons of the
devil nnd ho who would knowingly or intentionally
invito tho descent of his plntonlc majesty In that
manner, ho It Is who Is no trim Son of Heat."
Slothful Sam, President Weary Willie, Ragged
tiftis, Tattered Tom, Hooking Helgnnld, Dinky
Dan, tho best dressed "bo" in tho association;
Handout llnnk, Piefnco Peter, Loping Louie, Walk
ing Walter, Fruyod Francis, Mirthful Mike, Tin-Can
Teddy, and all tho rest of tho Influential brethren
of tho Fraternal Order or tho Unwnshed, were
there.
Tho nttondanco was as large as usual. There
wore sonio missing, of course. Holl cnll revealed
tho fact that Secretary .Signing Sinkers was un
avoidably dotalned by friends among the authori
ties at tho Dcsplaines street police station iu Chi
cago. Ho was booked as a "vag," much to tho un
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie, who In
the courso of his opening address remarked that
It was "Do wolst colsc dat wuz over put fort' on dls
susletie, tuh fink dat ouo uv do most necessary
polssons of do order should be cumpelled tuh miss
dls Intellorgen' mootin'."
All tho old officers of tho association wore re
elected, tho minutes of tho meeting being Inscribed
upon tho brain of Prosldont Weary Wllllo until Sec
rotary Sinkers should ho released from Mb sojourn
In Chicago. Tho members of the association, the
moat easily satlsilcd crowd on enrth, then ad
journed. Thin action consisted of tho chief oxecu-
I yK.U'0 dropping into a sound slcop. Others did tho
tanio.
W Tho following day tho annual games of tho or-
J ganlzntlon woro given. Tliero wore aoveral Inno
vations, hitherto not Introduced. Tho long distance
Biioozlng contest drow out several hundred ontrios
and it required three days beforo tho judges were
ablo to render n decision. Wakeful Waffles was
returned victor oventually, but up to tho timo of
M x writing ho was still snoozing noisily, utterly Ignor
levant of tho honor which his happy faculty had
ijhrust upon him,
Lf Thu handsomest hobo contest was captured by
PRv)lnky Dan, who In a llttlo address to tho slumber
T' ' lug contestants in tho long-dlotanco aleoping con
test, declared that In tho absence of any prize, tho
honor alone gave him plenty of satisfaction.
fi'copYrcr' cefrrsr
It was decidedly ap
propriate) that Handout
Hank should corral the
lauiels in the hnndout i oping contest. Tho pics.
which proved the articles of war and also tho
prizes, were placed on a ledge on the outside of
a house loaned for tho purpose.
Hank. Instead of struggling with his fellows on
the outside, stole a pitchfork, went Insldo tho houso
and speared the pies, ono by one, from tho second
story window. Then to rub in tho dofeat Inlllcted
upon the rest or the convention, ho sat on the sill
of the open window and slowly munched the pastry
delicacies, to the discomfiture of several bundled
upturned hungry faces.
Several weeks before tho session was called to
order Slothful Sam appeared as an advanco guard
or tho army or the unwashed and prepared a sot
or rules, which were turned over to the meeting,
but were turned down by unanimous vote, the
members fearing they might Inflict punishment up
on themselves by voting for the proposed regula
tions. Following were Sam's proposals:
That one month's growth of beard be made the
maximum.
That special refrigerator curs be provided for
tanks.
That questionable touring anecdotes be punished
according to tho veracity of tho tales.
That any member guilty or work bo made to toll
and wash dally.
Thai hoboes found guilty of aiding In perpetuat
ing the ancient tin can joke be shunned by their
fellows.
That members upprehended with soup upon their
persons be given capital pui4fthnient.
Tlmt rewards of merit be devised for those who
promised to work, secured a meal upon that basis,
and then deserted.
That a system or chalk signals be arranged to
designate homes where tho lady or the house Is
generous.
That tho war on savage dogs bo carried on with
tho extermination of nil canines iu view.
That brnkenien be made honorary members of
the order.
That those brakomen who have distinguished
themselves in tho aid of members bo awarded re
wards of merit.
That thorough tests, mental and physical, be pro
vided for taking In now members.
That beer bo mndo tho oillclnl drink or tho order.
That water be shunued with customary regulniv
iiy.
President Weary Willie pointed that theso rules
showed the deop thought or Slothful Sam. The
president ruled that a man guilty of thinking should
bo watched, for he might work. So fearful lest there
should bo a Joker concealed somewhere within tho
resolutions, tho convention turned them down flat.
"I"vun wld deso flugs uslde," soliloquized Weary,
"It needs wolk tor keep dem resolushuns on de
nienibors' miu's nn' wolk Is do most hated uv do
order"? enemies."
So that ended Slothful Sam's great coup. Ho said
ho thought he hud a groat Idea, but ho had not
figured that In nursing his plans ho had Infringed
upon ono of tho most sacred traditions of his
brothers.
Deroro nienibors ,weio allowed to enter the Held
In which tho convention was held, a thorough In
spection was made of the man's credentials. Hona
lido proof or membership wua necessary. Traces or
piosporlty about tho hobo's person relegated him
to tho position or n rank outsider. Special arrange
meiita woro mndo with railroad cohipanlos for the
transportation of such undesirables.
Tho meetings, as a rule, woro held In RIverviow
park, Clifford, but occasionally committees mit
whcroi'er there was standing room. A grand'pnrndc same way.
Must De Perfectly Dry nnd the Sirup
Carefully Prepared.
Have tho fruit perfectly dry. If or
anges, separate caiefully each carpel
without breaking the skin; stand In n
warm placo till dry. Put one pound
of granulated sugar in a porcelain
lined kettle with a half cupful of
water over the lire to boll; do not stir
after tho sugar is dissolved. After
this has boiled ten minutes try tho
sirup by taking n small portion on
the end of a spoon and dipping It Into
a cup of cold water nnd breaking It off
quickly; If it Is brittle without being
ut all sticky It lu just right. The sirup
must never bo stirred or It will cause
granulation. Take quickly from tho
lite, add n tablespoonful or lemon
Juice, stand In a basin of boiling water
to keep ftnm candying; with u sugar
tongs or on the point of u skewer dip
the fruit Into tho sirup, lay on a piece
of buttered paper In a warm place to
dry.
i-'ugllsh walnuts and almonds are
glaced lu the same manner.
PASTE MADE FROM PEACHES.
Delicious for Sandwiches or Used as a
Breakfast Dish.
In the south they make h sweet
paste out of peaches that Is quite pal
atable, says u writer Iu tho Philadel
phia Ledgor.
A peck of ripe peaches nre used,
which are peeled and mashed. The
pulp Is then pressed through n coarse
sieve. To four quarts of this pulp Is
allowed one pint of brown sugar.
It Is mixed well, then cooked for
about two minutes. It should lu stirred
all the time It Is cooking. It Is spread
a plates and put out lu tho sun to
dry. It should be left out Tor about
three days, taken lu nt sundown, and
put out early In tho morning.
When It looks llko leather nnd lifts
up easily from the plate when a knife
Is put under It, It Is done.
It la dusted with white sugar and
put away for future use. It is doll
clous between thin slices of whlto
brend for sandwiches, and Is also eat
en with hot rolls In the morning.
7t)?CrOfiiY?dMCMYMCi:
of hoboes took place on the third
day of the convention and it wns
watched by hundreds or townspeo
ple. The hobo association or u near-by district
gave an excursion, and a roast, after which tho
members disbanded to their regular territories,
most of them going Into winter quarters.
The reader will wonder whero tho wayfarers
slopt while they were engaged In carrying out their
convention plans. Others wondered, too, but one
enrly-rlslng farmer near Clifford determined for
himself when ho l'ouund tho committee upon the
extermination of water snoring In the key of A in
a manger early ono morning. Others took to re
clining benches In tho parks, soma utilized fenco
corners, while tho more listless of the order r.ntls
fled themselves with such luxuries of sleep us wero
furnished underneath front porches.
All In all, It must bo snld that tho con entlon
was n great success, more enthusiasm attending
tho meeting than ever before. There was moro
grub, less allusion to soap and wnter and lots of
sleep for the tourists.
Stuffed Eggs.
Doll eggs ten minutes, removo
r.hells, cut In halves. Put yolks Into a
bowl and mash with a fork until per
fectly smooth. Add n small piece of
butter for each egg and work until
creamy, then add salt and whlto pop
per to taste, a dash of Worcestershire
jmucc, a tumblerful of onion juice and
a tablespoonful or two of cream. LnBt
of all add some finely chopped parsley.
1111 tho whites, arrango tho eggs iu a
ticst or lettuce leaves, and when ready
to serve cover with mayonnalso dress
Jug mndo as follows:
Tut tho yolks of two eggs into n
cold bowl; beat lightly, add a snlt
spoonful or snlt, u teuspoonful of mado
mustard, a dash of cayenuo pepper,
and then add some olive oil, slowly,
drop by drop, and thin with tho julco
of ouo lemon. Last or all fold in tho
whites of one ogg beaten to a stiff
froth. Two eggs will hold n pint of
oil, provided a llttlo vinegar In added
now and then.
THE WARPED SENSE OF HUMOR.
It Is a bl; thing to bo born with n eoii&o of
humor. It will force smooth sailing on Hfo's rough
est seas, and will make even drudgery bearable.
The woman who cannot sco n Joko, oven nt her
own expense. Is to be pitied and so are her fun
loving friends. There Is nothing harder on both
aides than a humniism that falls flat.
Tho good people who aro Interested in tho do
crease of divorce should have a law passed that tho
serious minded nnd tho joker mny not wed. It
means ructions ero the orango blossoms fade.
A man not long ngo was bowalllng a broken civ
gngement. A friend who knew them both suld:
"It is tho Lord taking u hand to save you from
a lifetime of mlsety. (icorgl.i couldn't seo fun ir
It were Inboled JOKI. and you couldn't help Jok
ing though It meant a separation from those you
loved best."
Hut It Is ono thing to have a seuso of humor nnd
another to have a wnrped sense of humor. There
Is no ono more mnddenlug than tho porson who
roars at our mishaps and thinks It "so funny" to
mortify his friends.
You can afford to luugh If you feel like. it
when you rail lu a crowded bnllroom or loso your
false puffs In church; but you have no friendship
so tender that will warrant u smllo when u friend
does tho same..
It is the woman with tho misplaced sense of
humor who tells embarrassing anecdotes nbout fam
ily makeshifts, or who repeats as a good Joko to
a common friend something you have said obout
her but never intended her to hear.
Ono of these misplaced liumorlstB Is tho husband
who thinks It runny to ask n guest to have certain
dishes, and when sho accepts lo tell her "Wo ar.j
Just out or It."
Have you never been covered with ombarrnss
ment by having such a man ask you to Bay graco at
his dinner tablo and shriek with laughter nt your
efforts to get out of It?
Then there aro humorists wljo, when you tell a
good story, think It. "smart" to receive It with
forced gurfnwB, and others who willfully roruso to
laugh at thu point.
Laugh all you can. but have a sonso of fitness
In your laughing. To Joko over tho bumps lu your
own lHo will do much to smooth them; to find hu
mor In tho mishaps or your friends iu soon to find"
yourseir friendless.
No matter how keen your sonso of humor, uso
dlBcrotlon lu shnrlng n joke with a friend. Humor
is llko lightning. It rarely strikes twice In th
For Flatlrons.
Who hns not been vexed to tho
point of desperation by flatlronB that
aro rough and stick to tho stnrch?
Try this, and ironing day will havo
no terrors. Take a henvy papor or
plcco of canvas or duck and sprinkle
on It half a teaspoonful of powdered
pumlco Btono, ndd to It n plcco or clean
lard the size of a hazelnut nnd rub tho
Iron over thlB, wiping It off nftorward
with a soft cloth. This will Tcmovo
i list from Irons also.
Keep Ham Moist.
When cutting a fresh ham, In placo
of cutting the rind off with every slice,
run tho knife under the rind as fnr
hack as you nre going to cut it for tho
meul every tlmo nnd lap tho rind down
over tho ham, where you havo loft off
cutting. It will nlways keep moist
and will nut mold If you do not uso it
again Tor several days. It also saves
dulling the knife, as the rind la tho
hardest part to cut.
Beets In Sauce.
Cook half n dozen small boots In
boiling water until tho skins will slip
off. Drop Into cold water, rub off tho
skins, cut Into slices, and theso again
Into narrow" strips. Pour on a sauco
niado from oncqunrter cup of buttor,
half a level teaspoon of salt, a salt
spoon or moro of pepper, n level toa
.spoon each of sugar and vinegar, nnd
a few drops of onion juice.
Breakfast Turncake.
Three cups of flour, threo teaspoon
Tills baking powder, one heaping tea
spoonrul of butter, ono cup of milk.
Holl out about an Inch thick nnd
spread on hot grlddlo. Cover with a
bnsln and turn in ten minutes. Cover
again and bako ton minutes more.
Keeping House Plants Healthy.
Tho leaves of houso plants should
bo cleaned with equal parts of milk
and lukowarm wnter, applied gontly
with a sponge. This should be dono
nt least once n week to keep tho
plants In good health.
To Remove Carpet Stains.
Stains on enrpot can ofton bo re
moved by milking n thick pnsto or
rullor's earth to which a llttlo am
monia hns boon added. Put on tho
pasto thickly, let It stand 24 houra
nnd brush off. Sometimes a second
application Is necessary.
Cold Meat Salad.
Chop cold boiled ham or any kind
of meat, add a llttlo chopped lettuco
and llttlo snlnd dressing. Mix all to
gether, placo on lettuco leaves and
pour salad dressing over
Tho reccni .nncnt investiga
tions havo V). i that preparations
now being . 'to fartnors nnd feed
ers as ntor.1- iooiIb nro almost value
less, and are sold nt nil enormous
prollt, thereby enriching themselves
at the expunso of tho farmer. A
good tonic nnd worm destroyer, as
well us a stomach nnd bowel con
ditioner, that you can mix at homo
or have your druggist mix for you,
ami from good honest Ingredients,
will certainly prove a boon to farm
ers nnd feeders. You enn got n
splendid formula for a mcdlctno of
this kind, which is no experiment,
together with a booklet on feeding
and care of hogs, by Bonding your
mime and uddress, together with a
Post Olllco order for fifty cents to
cover cost of printing nnd mailing,
to W. T. Cutler, 17 N. 3rd St., 1,
fayctte, Ind.
DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE TIME.
Colored Fisherman ' Most Satisfied
When tho Blteo Were Few.
Hiding across the country ono dny,
Dr. Plank noticed an old negro who
hnd been for qulto a whllo porched
motionless upon u llttlo bridge, fish
ing silently from tho stream beneath.
For somo time ho watched him from
a distance, but finally, ovorcomo by
thu old fellow's unmoved patience, ho
rodr up nnd nccosted him.
"Hollo, Wnsh! What aro you doing
up there?"
"Fl.shln", siih," camo the reply.
"Not getting ninny, nro you?"
"No, sab."
"Well, It floema to mo you'd get
tired fishing so long without a bite."
"I doesn't want no blto, cap'n."
"Well, that's funny. Why don't you
want a bite, Wash?"
"Hit's thls-a-way, cap'n: when I gits
n lots o' bites, hit takes all mob time
to git tho llah oft'n inch lino, tin' I
doesn't havo no tlmo foh flahin'."
Success Mugazlno.
NOT THE RIGHT MAN.
Tho Rejected And" will nothing
mako you chnngo your mind?
Sho M'ycs. anothor man might
Expression! of Cynlo.
Walter Pater, an old mnn at 50, bald
bb a coot and grotesquely plain, re
garded every woman much as did Dean
Swift, who wrote: "A very llttlo wit
is valued in a woman, as wo nro
pleased with few words spoken' Intel
ligibly by a parrot." "You don't ap
prove of marrlago?" a friend onco ob
served to Pater. "No," he replied,
"nor would anybody else if ho gave
tho matter proper consideration. Men
and women aro always pulling dlfj
fercnt ways. Women won't pnll our
way. They aro bo perverse."
An Ambitious Mother.
"Hubby," eald tho observant wife,
"tho Janitor of theso flats Is a bach
elor." "What of it?"
"I really think ho is becoming In
forested In our oldest daughter."
"Tliero you go again with your pipo
drennis! Last week it was a duko."
Everybody's Mugazlno.
WANTED TO KNOW
The Truth About Grape-Nuts Food.
It doesn't matter so much what you
hear about n. thing, It's what you know
that counts. And correct knowledgo
is most likely to como from personal
experience.
"About a year ngo," writes a N. Y.
man, "I wns bothered by indigestion,
especially during the forenoon. I tried
sovernl remedies without any perninn
ent Improvement.
"My breakfast usually consisted of
oatmeal, Bteak or chops, bread, cofteo
and somo fruit.
"Hearing bo much about Grapo-Nuts,'
I concluded to give It a trial and Ami
out If nil I had heard of it was truo.
"So I bogan with Grape-Nuts nnd
croam, 2 soft boiled eggs, toast, n cup
of Postum and somo fruIL Before the.
ond of tho first week I was rid of tho
acidity of tho stomach and felt much
relloved.
"Dy tho ond of tho second wook all
traces of indigestion had disappeared
and I was in first rate health onco
moro. Beforo beginning this courso of .
diet, I nover had any nppotlto fop
lunch,' but now I can enjoy a hearty
meal at noon time." "Thoro'3 a Ilea
Bon." Namo given by Postum Co., Bnttlo
Creek, Mich. Head "Tho Road to Welli
villo," In pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
ono appears from tlmo to tlrr.s. They
nro genuine, true, and full of humav
'ntereBt.
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