U)f
I
I
A Natural Inference.
rodgera CwBtiul)--I have ncvor re
ceived a crow? word from niy wlfo u
my life.
Smituy That ho? This !h the first
I'd heard yon married a deaf mute.
When a man cornea to ask yon for
your opinion, ho really asks jou for n
confirmation of his own.
When a woman callH for hor son to
come "just for a minute," he knows
she wants him to work an hour.
Household Tribulation.
The old homo is not what It was long
ngo,
Thero'B "lltleryehoor' In each loom.
We're all of us talkln more careful an'
slow
An' vcnrln' expressions of gloom.
Nobody nmkos Jokes or tells stories or
sings,
Cnuso lajgbtcr ain't truly refined
Au' wo'ro pnttln our thoughts on su
lieriur things
Since Maw Is iniprorln' her mind!
Were talkln' "bout. ShnkoBpoiiro an
Browning an' Keats.
The biscuits look iiueer an' task
wrong.
Hut she says it's no difference what
a man eata
If his lnteloct'n healthy an' strong.
An' Paw wiya a "culture club's" harder
to hear
Than the ton plaguiw of Kgypt com
hlncd
And excuses himself to go outdoors an'
swear
While Maw Is Improving her mind.
Were tryln to heed the. oxumplo she
sets,
Though the naco she has struck makes
us nnt.
She says "cavm't" and "shawn't; but
she sometimes forgets
And falls hack on plain "can't" and
"shan't"
Tills morning Pa said, as he stood at
the door.
Ho was more than throe-quarters
Inclined
To enmp out an never conic home any
more
Till Maw quit improvin' her mind!
Washington livening Star.
Real Dace Ball.
(W. J. l.amptou In New York World.)
Ob, take me away from the bas bull
game
Where science Is at the but
And the players play
In a technical way
Till a rubo can't tell where they're
at
.Where scores are highest when noth
ing at all
And nobody takcB a base;
Where nobody makes
Any sort of mistakes
And evwytMng's just in place.
Where spectators keep on tho watch
for playH
So close that tt gives theui a pain;
And whatovor's done
In hit, catch or run
They scream at to take oft" the
strain.
Oh, carry mo back to the old-fashioned
game
That doesn't, know science at all,
Where, f.bo sides go in
With a whoop to win,
And they don't do a thins but play
hall.
.Where twenty or thirty or forty runs
Aro likely aB not to ho made;
And tins baga aro hut
From many a awat
In giinws) that aro placed us is
played.
Whero the catcher don't look like an
armored knight
And th pitcher la not so Intense,
The barter can't hit
'Em a WWe hit,
But bangs 'em clean over the fence.
'Where something is doing that sure
stlrn up tho soul
About every mlnuto or so.
With ho homo runs made
And doulflo iriaye played
And the whole darn tiling on the go.
.Where grandstand and bleachers are
all of a kfcnd,
And aro there because they are
thoro
To seo a good game
That's good Just tlio same
Though science bo up in the air.
Lincoln Directory
FOR SALE abargaTn"
A 5J5 II. P. Wailnottn Gas Engino
almost now ami im 11 K. W.
110 volt General Electric Genera
tor WIG HoTolntions por Minute.
Add. Till lUCOU MS & ELECTRIC LIGHT C
Attention of Mr. Vurtmy. Lincoln. Nt
SfS GLEANERS AND DYERS
And Pressors of Ladles'. Gentlemen's and
Children's Clothing. Write for Prico List.
J. C. WOOD & CO.
1322 N ST., LINCOLN, NEB.
HERBERT E.GOOCH CO.
UROKURS AND DEALERS
Grain, Provisions, Stocks, Cotton
Main OMIce, 304.303 fraternity UUg,
Lincoln, Ncfiraaka.
Doll Plionn BIB Anto Phono 2050
I.nrKUKt Houso In Htato
Taft's Ranch at Taft, TEXAS
Thin fumouH ranch, tho lient In tho coaflt
country, ut rotutonnhki pricey, cuxy tonnu.
Vrltn im today for particulars.
WHITE & LEVI, 716 P S, Lincoln, Nebraska.
SOUTH DAKOTA LAND
Now 1 ymrr importunity to buy KoutU
Dakota Innd nt lust prlcitt. I.ariio lint to
Mlert from. Write na lor particular!).
WHITE & LEVI, TIG P St., Lincoln, Nebraska.
Gasoline Engines
Our uow 4 oychi motor U designed o
jiodnlly for farm unit kIioji.
CUSHMAN MOTOR CO., LINCOLN, NE3FL'
.
TALK OF NEW YORK
Gossip of People and Events Told
in Interesting Munncr.
Where Strange Sects Find. Asylum
MKW YOHK The arrest of :2 mem
ll hers of "Tho Plrst Assembly of
Christ' in Hrooklyn hns called the at
tention of church as well as local au
thorities to the number of religious
rocletles In and about New York who
have succeeded in keeping themselves
under cover, although In many in
stances their rites and ceremonies nre
iif peculiar as those practised by the
Hrooklyn hand. "The First Assembly
of Christ" courted rather Hum avoided
observation. They were arrested
while going through a ceremony called
"drawing the dragon."
.John Augustus Wall's "Natlonnl
Chinch" promised a permanent exist
ence when it came Into existence in
Jiinuary, 1007, in the Berkeley I.y.
eeum. The sect aunouncod that it
was founded on the principle of tho
(olden Rule, had no creed, and was
not governed by nn dogma.
The "Holy Hollers" still maintain
an organization In Xew Yoik, but
Dog Dines in Style at Hotel Astor
BUT the queer side of New York is
not all to be found in the direc
tion of religious fanaticism, for odd
freaks aie to he found In ull the walks
or life.
An attorney mid a bull dog cut a
swath at the Hotel Astor tho other
day. The aforesaid lawyer and his
canine of aristocratic French breed,
strolled into the hunting room of the
Hotel Astor and took chairs nt a
table.
"Bring friend spring chicken and a
pot of tea," ordered Dickson. ".My
dog likes It."
"Yes, sir," suld thu waiter, think
ing what a facetious gentleman Mr.
Dickson was.
The food being brought. Dickson
tied a napkin about the dug's neck and
told him to go as far as he liked.
"Yep, yep," remarked the dog, and
fell to.
The waiter got excited and wanted
Pleased by Airship Performances
FAUMAN and his neioplane have
captured Now York. His success
ful (lights have aroused much Interest
und the conlldence In the Scotch aero
naut and his mnchine are growing.
Ho is an enthusiast and In speaking
of his plans and his work aud what
ho would attempt next, said:
"To do nuw things. Wo are all tho
tlmo moving llko birds. You cannot
explain these minute details, lor they
arc of such un infinite variety. Wo
are always changing more or less.
Kvery day brings something new.
The Scotch aeroplane expert does
not take all the credit for the Inven
tion of his flying machine, saying:
"One man cannot do e vet y thing
alone. I used plans of Iuigley aud
some of Llebcnthnl, hut not much of
tho latter. 1 have used some of the
Ideas of Chanute and have used some
of sovoral others. Hut still 1 hope to
Sahara's Emperor
ACQUES I, emperor of tho Saharn,"
J Is In town. Although actually un
employed at the emperor business at
present, U10 new arrival hns moro
money than ho could count In a
month.
When off duty he answers to tho
nnmo of Jacques Lebaudy. He Is the
son or Lebaudy, tho Fronch sugar
king, himself a picturesque porson
allty while alive. Ho has Inherited
tho immense sugar business, valuable
property in many purts of Kurope and
much ready cash. Asldo from tho
young ninn's drenms of a ready-to-wenr
emplro, Wh 0110 mission in life
appeurs to bo to samplo hotels and
hoarding houses and dodge nowspaper
men.
His royal highness, accompanied by
tho imperlnl court, consisting of four
advisers, who nre paid for hooping
their advice to thcnuiulves, rolled up
v
v
v
v
V
V
if
show no desire to make themselves
conspicuous.
"The Holy Ghost and Us Socloty,"
which had Its origin In Maine, got a
foothold in New York about a year
ago. Tho name here was changed to
tho "Holy Jumpers," but tho practices
were Identical with tho rites of tho
sect Down East
lytes from all over the country. They
started near Hound Brook, hut subse
quently removed to Now York.
"The Overcomers" Is another sect
of which llttlo is heard, although they
have their prcacherB and missionaries
In New York and Brooklyn.
It Is estimntcd by church statisti
cians that tho number of believers In
doctrines outside of those taught in
the Christian and Jewish creeds will
exceed fiO.OOO persons, and this in
cludes the Seventh Day Adventlsts,
tho Disciples of Christ, and the sect
known as tho Christian Israelites,
who have a church of their own on
the lower east side. There aro In tho
city of New York at least thirty pro
fessed believers in Parseolsm, all of
them horn In this country and not de
scended from Oriental parento; about
fifty who arc neither Chinese nor na
tives of tho Far KaBt, who follow tho
teachings or Lluddha and Confucius,
and probably ten believers, all Ameri
can born, who aro disciples of islam.
to retract tho chicken and tea.
"Co ahead; take them away," Bald
Dickson.
Tho waiter reached for the chicken
plate, when "g-r-r-r," said tho dog.
Dashing off to tho head waiter, tho
private explained to that functionary.
"I will see," said the head waiter,
and he approached Dickson and tho
dog In his best manner.
"It's a way my dog hns," explained
Dickson, lightly.
"He won't hurt your chicken."
So the head waiter let It go at that
and sought a man higher up, who ap
proached, looked over tho situation
and decided that since It had gono
that far It might as well go the limit.
Dickson's dog ate chicken, hones
and all, drank his tea from tho cup,
and when he had llnished immersed
his snoot and paws In a linger howl.
Dickson dried him off with a napkin.
When Dickson got his hill there wan
nn extru Item on it "Breakage,
S2.75."
"Hut I haven't broken anything," ho
declared.
"Not yet, ni'sieur, but soon," said
the grinning waiter, and, suiting tho
action to tho word, ho smashed tho
dog's plate, cup and saucer Into
smithereens.
keep improving. Delugrango uses ex
actly the same machine as I do."
Progress in the development of tho
flyiug mnchine may be best obtained
by public experimenting, said Farm an.
He continued:
"It ie b'tt?i tti do vurjrth!ng pnb
llcly. It U d cult enough, any way,
and it is better for others to seo what
you are doing aud for you to seo what
they aro doing, -each improving by
noticing the mistakes of the other. Of
course, the great difficulty In flying
is tho gusts of air. 1 never had but
one bad accident, aiud that was worse
for tho mnchine than for mc. A
steady Btrong wind Is what yon want.
Theu you can mnko a good flight
"Among tho other diincultim to he
met with in ncroplauo flight is tho
presence of trees, houses and high
structures which dUrt the wind from
Its true course."
"Has tho aeroplane a future so far
as practicability is concerned?"
"Yes," replied Farman. "It will
have a future to a very great extent.
I think tho aeroplane will bo safer
than the auto or other methods of
conveyance. H will be so easy and so
quick."
in the Metropolis
to the Hotel Helmont, West Forty
fifth street, on foot Thoro was
nothing about their raiment to indi
cate they werfi members of a royal
family on leave of absence. Lebaudy
slowly approached the di-sk, with hlB
retinue following in single file.
"I thought they were a mob of
street musicians," said tho hotol clerk
afterwards. "I told them to pick up
their Instruments and blow them
selves to a walk. Then tho emperor
hurled sumo Sahara stuff at mo and
wound up by bouncing a $20 gold
pleco on tho desk. 'Take yon shim
mering coin,' ho said, 'and when It has
fultllled Its mission tickle tho an
nunciator and I will produce. I havo
yet moro nnd then a few ot tho samo
material. Enough of this. Lead us
to tho royal suite.'
Lebaudy has been in tho limelight
for years, and this Is not his first trip
to New York.
Hits eccentricities have from tlmo
to tlmo made Paris turn around and
look, but his establishment of tho Em
pire of Sahara, with himself as ruler,
won him tho greatest notoriety. Ho
announced that ho Intended to trans
form tho desert Into a Jlourlshivg
kJugdom. f
l .-
C
1ST0EIA. is a Iiarmloss mibstituto for Castor
Soothing Syrups.
other Narcotio substance. Its ago is its gurjanteo. It destroys Worms and allays
Povorishness. It oures Diarrhma and Wind Colio. It roliovcs Toothing Troubles,
euros Constipation and Eatulenoy. It assimilates tho Food, rogulatos tho Stomach
and Bowols, giving healthy and natural sloop. Tho children's Panacea The
Mother's Priond,
Tbo Kind You Havo Always Bought, and which has boon in uso for over
30 years, has borno tho signaturo of Chas. II. Flotchor, and has boon mado under
his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no ono to docoivo you in this.
Ill Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-as-good " aro but Experiments that triflo with
and endanger tho health of Infants and Children Exporionco against Experiment.
m
m
IllWfTr'Plam
ALCOHOL 3 PElt CKNT.
ANfaelalklfrrursllonlnrAc.
simllailnSHicRjOflanaRcf'ula
(ing(licSiomausarull(MUsor
PromolcsDigcslionhccrM
ncss and (test jContalns neitlw.
Wii!
l' ,!i
MS'
Opitini.Norphiac norMracraLI
?.!
NOT NARCOTIC.
jiccfacfoiJitsMXLrnmn
JlajJhf Smi'
jttxSaaat
JtxMliUtf
MmSrfd-
genJUSUfur.
fttaApm XmR
MaiMataaa.
Aperfccl Remedy for Coreflpfr
Hon , Sour Storaacli.Dlarrraa
Worms jConvulstms.i:evcrisu
ncss andLOSS OPStEEP.
RcSinrile Signature oT
NEW YORK.
FlWti M OIOlB
d under if
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
OF COURSE HE WOULDN'T.
.-t r
f ?
:.i
zzz:' &2?
I.''-.C
"You certainly wouldn't marry a girl
for hor money, would you, Tom?"
"Of course not; neither would I have
the heart to let her become an old
maid because she happened to bo well
off."
BABY CRIED AND SCRATCHED
All the Time Covered with Tortur
ing Eczema Doctor Said Sores
Would Last for Years Per
feet Cure by Cuticura.
"My baby nlcco was sufforing from
that torrlblo torture, eczema. It was
all ovor her body hut tho worst wus
on hor face and hands. Sho cried and
scratched nil tho tlmo and could not
sleep night or day from tho scratch
ing. I had her undor tho doctor's
caro for a year and a half and ho
Hcemcd to do her no good. I took hor
to tho best doctor In tho city nnd ho
snld that sho would have tho sores
until sho was six years old. Hut if 1
had depended on the doctor my baby
would havo lost hor mind and died
from tho want of aid. But I used
Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment
and Bho was cured in threo months.
Allco L. Dowoll, 47C9 Enston Ave., St.
Louis, 5lo., May 2 and 20, 1907."
Novel Uso for Visiting Cards.
In connection with tho forthcoming
world's drawing congress in London,
when it Ir anticipated that .'1,000 peoplo
will attend tho reception at tho Royal
College of Art, It Ih proposed, for tho
purposes of Identification, that mem
bors of tho British committee should
wear their visiting enrds upon tho
lapels of their coats or their dress
bodices.
The American Frlonds' board of for
clgu missions has so far had control
of Cuba only, but It Is planucd now to
transfor to It :ho work In Palestine.
f "' T S-
iWPgs,
Mexico, Japan.
What is Castoria.
It is ploasant. It contains noithor Opium, Morphine nor
Letters from Prominent Physicians
addressed to Chas. II. Fletcher.1
Dr. F. Gerald Dlattncr, of Buffalo, N. T., oayo: "Your Cantorta. Tb jjooa
lor children nnd I frequently prcecrlbo It, always obtaining tho desired
results."
Dr. Gustavo A. TJioengTaohor, of SL rnul, Minn., Bays: "I havo titusd
your Castoria repeatedly in my rractlco with good rcnulta, and can rocom
mond It as an excollont, mild nnd harmless remedy for children."
Dr. D. J. Dcnnlo, of CL Louis, Mo., unyB: "I havo tiBed and prescribed
your Castoria in my canltarlum and outoldo practlco for a number of year
nnd And It to ho an excellent rctnody for children."
Dr. 0. A. Buchanan, of Philadelphia, rn., eayo: "I havo used your Cas
toria In tho cnr.o of my own baby and find it pleasant to talto, and hnv
obtained excellent results from Its use."
Dr. J. E. Simpson, of Chicago, HI., naya: "I havo mod your Castoria la
cases of colic In children nnd havo found It tho best modldno of Ha kind
on tho market,"
Dr. II. E. Esltlldson, of Omaha, Nob., says: "I find your Cnntoria to bo
ntandnrd family remedy. It Is tho best thing for Infants ami children I
havo over known and I recommend It,"
Dr. L. It. Ilohinson, of Kansas City, Mo., Bays: "Your Cantorta certainly
lias merit. Is not Its axo, Its continued uso by mothora through all theco
years, and tho many attempts to lmltato It, sufficient rocommcndatlonl
;Vhat can a physician add? Lcavo It to tho mothora."
Dr. Edwin F. Tardco, of Now York City, says: "For several yearn I havo
recommended your Castoria nnd shall always contlnuo to do so, as lb hoa
Invariably produced beneficial results."
Dr. N. B. SIzcr, of Brooklyn, N. Y., says: "I object to what aro called
patent medicines, whero maker alono knows what Ingredients aro put in.
them, but I know tho formula of your Castoria and advlso Its uso."
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS
Sean tad
2Lym&i
The KM You Bate Always BongM
In Use For Over 30 Years.
TH(C(NTunooMMnv, rr
NO SURPLU8 FUNDS ThcRE.
Beggar Satisfied with Evidence of
Poverty In Sight.
Two old Hohrow beggars we're trav
eling together through tho residence
section of Pittsburg not long ugo, in
quest of contributions toward their
joint capital.
Presently they passed a hundsomo
residence, from which Bwcet sounds
of mualc issued. It was lko's turn nnd
hopefully he nscended tho Btcps to tho
front door, eagerly watched by Jake,
who expected quite a handsome addi
tion to their funds.
Ills consternation was great conse
quently when ho beheld Ike roturnlng
crcstfullen and empty-handed.
Anxiously running to meet him, ho
said: "Veil, Ikey, how did you make
out with tho good peoplo?"
"Ach, Jakoy," replied Iko, "thero
was no iihu usklng In there, because
they are very poor peoplo themselves.
Just think two lovely ludlcs playing
on ono pluuo!" Judge's Library.
Starch, llko everything else, Is be
ing constantly Improved, tho patent
StarchcB put on tho market 25 years
ago nro very different and inferior to
those of tho present day. In tho lat
est discovery Defiance Starch all In
jurious chemlcnls aro omitted, whllo
tho addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us, gives to tho Starch a
strength and smoothness novcr ap
nroachod by other brands.
A 8lander.
Squaggfi Why did tho butcher heat
up Longloy?
Squtggs Slander.
Squnggs What'd Longley say?
Squlggs Suld ho saw a dog down
in tho butcher's licking his chops, und
a lot of customers quit before it wns
explained that tho dog was licking his
own chops. Toledo Blade.
WK NKI.I. C.VSH AMI THAI'S CIIHAI'
&. buy Furo & Hideo. Write for catalog 105
X. VY. llido &. Fur Co., Minncapuliri, Minn.
Habit has moro forco In forming our
characters than opinions have. U.
Hall.
Smoker have to call for LcwiH Single
Hinder ciRiir to urt it. Your dealer or
Lewis' Factory, l'coria, 111.
If you aro unablo to hold your tem
per get a strong man to hold you.
Mr. Wln.low'H Rootlilnr Hyrtip.
Forrtilldrrn teeUilnir, .often, tho KUtn., reduce. Id
flimmatloa, alUjf. pla, cure, wind collu. 2&c a botUo
A talking machlno In all right if It
does not talk machine politics.
ri"el Alli'DM iwxit-HiMi. iin at Tour linn.'1tM'iL
WrlU, A. W. OlmsuA, lM UortS. V., Jul ".!$ "
Better a tramp in tho woods than a
hobo in tho woodBked,
Oil, Parogorio, Drops and
Signature of
MUMuvanttrr, R.wvoMaorr.
The 8plder and the Ffy.
In tho long warfare between tho
spider and tho fly, tho latter has had
tho housewife for Its auxiliary aud
friend. Tho flics havo lxxm toloraled,
oven fed and nurtured, whllo tho
spiders nnd their webs havo boon ruth
lessly destroyed. This nnremlttlng
nnd unrelenting war against It keeps
tho spider population down, whllo tho
files Incrcnso and mnltlply by tho
millions and ten of millions, almost
unchecked. Tho spider 1b ugly and
his web Is unsightly in tho estima
tion of most people, but spiders hurt
no human creatine Thoy feed on
flies, which aro tho foes of mankind,
nnd do mankind a service. Philadel
phia Press,
SICK HEADACHE
Positively cured fry
lliesc Utile nils.
CARTERS
HHITTIP trmflfrmt7ftpiHlii,In.
WM u 0rW dlB'JftloiiarxlTooIIeoity
Q IVtK UaUiiR. A pcrreat rem-
H nillC edy for Dliilncsu, Nau-
MM r ItLQi nen, DrowtrincHH, Dad
1J1H Truite I nthe Mouth, Cont-
il ed Tuusrae, rain in tbo
I I Hlil e, TOliriD I.IVKR.
rhcy regulate the Bowels. Pnrely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE.
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Similo Signature
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
GARTERS
VlTTlE
TlVER
PJLLB.
w"KW-2IThompionfi Eye Wl8r
Kit VCA TMOXA
Nebraska Military Academy
Lincoln, Nohruaka
'J.lJr.l1.'lM,n,llt"rJ,,H",nlllK'''o'0'toy.8plai.
illcJImUdlrKuml if round. ITnpuroeforwIIciioaml
limine;. ttHvluldi'p.intiicntforytiuni(loyuiiderll
juiru. surlufurauUon.addroMU.D.LUjrw&ril.Uupt.
Cotner University
ltt!tliiiny,Nil.1l.ln,oln'iinnrsnbi!rb.i;or.! BOrm
MlHTiil AriisMwllclne. Hriiciiiijt; lllblo.MuUr.UJ
pri'KxIiin, HiikliuiKa, Normal. Art. Aimiiemv. Son.
I'Mrr iiotiHrpuiubar7, January 26. Hapeuwtavary
low. Send fur catalog, ela.
W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 34, 1908.j