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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 18, 1896)
1 t i v TJJK AUTIsrsSTOJtY, "m: -V iT TKLL you. htdlce," 1 eiee In i oi handsome nml cynical Wilton Hobeloy, ilu artlhi. i $r q La ,v 'pQ "i fortune telle '( ''f Vf ' sbovvcd mi' Hi" I nt fortune teller age ot my who two .wars bfeiro I p.fv saw her in the iWh inn) thoii-iuiil-i or mlk's from tin1 pineo 1 Itrs-t met Iter." "You are tin' Inst man in the vvci-l whose in I it tt 1 would think obsoitied by the clouds of mysticism," replied the rich Mm. Atuiyn. his friend unit patron. "You Ir.ivo never shown any putli'iicc with tin' charlatans who pre tended t(i export1 mill expound tli ;'p erols that ,'i wise Ps-enld-nce has or dained wo shutilil not fat hum. Ami ! you lire taxing our ciciliility with u statement that wonlil lie marvelous, If true." "1 must Insist upon my voracity In tills Instance." smiled the art 1st. "Now, don't stop to argue, mainiiia," urcd the older of tlio Austyn girls. "There Is ti nt ry in this, and after Mr. Hobeloy has (old It ou can reclaim him from tho darkness of his supersti tions and air your theories. Now d tell im all about it:" and three pretty t-lstors sighed their curiosity In chorus. ".lust so you don t ask me to ov plain," said the artist with a qiiizzl nl look. "1 shall rIvo you the remarkable facts and leave you to wrestle with them. F.lght years ago I was In Paris, pursuing my studio.-,, and lived the lite of a Hohcmlun from choice rather thin from necessity. Wo fellows held the responsibilities of life very lightly and laughed at all human phononionn that would not yield to the test of material ism. I was chief Munng the scoll'ora, and found baio-fiood fraud in every, thin;; from clahvo.v.iney to the pioio lug of the futiiie through the medium of tea grounds. "Then as now I occasionally broke entirely away from my usual surround ings and was one day sauntering alone through Kite do Houses. As 1 passed one of the moH pretentious houses 1 was startled by a scream for help and dashed through the open doorway to find a woman battling with lliunos that with groat leaps and Hashes were con suming the white draperies of what struck mo as a consecrated altar out of place. Our combined efforts soon mastered the Incipient conflagration. As the woman anointed my hands with mime soothinu lotion I t;aw that she was as datk as a gypsy. Her hair rip plod hack from her forehead In waves of blue black, her eyes were brilliant In the name deep coloring, and her strong, even teeth suggested polished Ivory. She was an uinazon in size, yet the sweeping curves of beauty wete such as to fascinate the artist while her motlonu were as supple and grace ful as those of a tiger. "'You are a gentleman, and there is but one way In which I can offer re turn for your services.' she said as I ,6 WOMAN UATTLING WITH THIS FLAMKS. .urned to leave. Her voice was soft as tho notes of a lute and her accent guvo unsuspected charms to my mother tongue. 'I was born of royal blond In India. Through study of the sacred Vedas and tho pure doctrine of Karma I attained the power of divination. Your peoplo would classify me among fortune tellers; but I am poles apart from tho vulgar humbugs that trade upon Ignorance and superstition. Promlso you will come to-morrow, for I nin upset by this accident. Then I will bo both your historian and your prophet. I shall count on you, m'seur.' "Though I mentally sneered at the woman's pretensions and lay awake half tho night assuring myself that I would n.ever seek her out, I was at her door ten minutes before the ap pointed time next day. Sho had either assumed her professional air or was under the spell of her supernatural attainments. 1 will not describe the 'Inner Temple of Mysteries' to which alio conducted me, but In tho weird effect of Its hangings, mirrors, groins quo carvings and mythical symlwils it challenged the most hardened skepti cism. Throwing the white light of a gold":! lamp upon my face with a pow erful reflector, she generalized upon my past llfo ns any shrowd judgo of hu nuui nature might do. Then suddenly knitting her brows nml leaning closer alio slowly spelled out 'Martin Arnold.' " 'That Is tho name of tho girl you will marry,' she announced In a dreamy voice, 'and there you see her.' 'With that tho lights faded to tho dimness of deep twlight, and there followed tho darkness of a dungeon. Opposito mo as If in llfo was tho Im ago of tho sweet and beautiful woman you know as Mrs. Hobcloy. Never be fore had I been dominated by tho ten der passion, but there I was fathoiii3 deep In lovo with what might liavo been an enchanting Illusion or a su perb pnlntlng. So deeply was I Im pressed that after leaving In a bewild erment of doubt I skotched tho magni ficent creaturo no Indelibly impressed upon my memory. "Eighteen months later I was In Kiuthern California enjoying tho medl :lnal virtues of tho cllmato, nml find ing subjects In somo of tho delightful icenery. One mornlnij I had my easel Ml W , Ml M! at the edge of a wooded precipice over looking a charming spn-ml of land scape. The velvet carpeting of grass and minis had failed to warn me of appro. idling footsteps, mid when 1 turned it was the startled movement mused by a hay iiippres.seil scream. There were two Ddles. the elder anxi ously supporting the younger, who.se tarn w.n blanched and whose eyes were famine. I upon me as though I wore a lerrif.Mug apparition. It was the girl the Indian sorceress had shown me In Paris; lint what did s!i know of mi? An she rank down under the weight of her emotions I huMe-ticd to a near by spilug fir water, and when 1 re turned her o.M's won upan me In that same Hid ,md troubled look. "'What can be the matlT, daugh ter? You haw nlwrys been b.i strong and so vigorous.' "'la your name Henry Morton?' asked the younger of me. without heed ing the mnthrs question. "It Is Wilton Hobeloy .' I rojpirilc.l quietly. At that Instant It Hashed up on me that in a desire to conceal my idontllj 1 had given the unmoor llenr.v .Morton to the fortune toller. Then with the Inspiration of an iinxlam lover 1 added: 'Hut I have a cousin of that name who bear a striking re senihlaiuo to inc. "Mv linniediate leward was a revh.il of strength mid spirits on the part of the Anting lady. The mother Intro duced honeir as Mrs. Cllsen, her daughter as Mlt-s (lllsen. and then said. 'I.ii'y. we had best get back to the hotel.' " 'l.ucy nilsen?' and yet It was her pi'".-eiieo that had been conjured up as my bride to be. She was tho girl of my sketch and my dreams. The next day I called at the hotel to Inquire after her. I called often. We walked, drove, painted and boated together. I came, to know through the Intuition of love that she was not indifferent to tne. One evening as we drifted lazily through the water lillo-t she handed me a sketch of myself and ahked: Is that a picture of Henry Morton." "'It's perfect,' I ansvered tboiicli dunifounded. A shadow of angr cross ed her face, and she was about to tear the picture to pieces when I caught her hands and suddenly showed the reproduction of hciself that I hud made in Paris. It was her turn to be sur prised, and when I told her of my ev perionco at the fortune teller's on Hue do Bongos, giving her the date, she Illicitly exclaimed: " 'Why. l was there with Mania Ar nold. Mumriri nnd 1 did Kurope that .'cason, and we two gins visited that Indian princess Just for a lark. That was where I saw Henry Morton, whom I was told Tate had decreed as m f n ture hnMmnd.' "Heroic we rowed home It was all explained, and the sequel of our strange experience was a bin v mar riage. The dusky prophetess - h0 had confused the name of the f. o girls was a cultivated fraud. It v. . all a trick of the mirrors, ladles." Ilnllnlropn IVl-fumr. A delicate odor, heliotrope. Is ob tained in small quantities from :ho he liotrope hedges of the lMvlora by tho process of maceration a qua .tlty of very pure lard being placed In a "up per vessel with the flowers and melted over a slow Are. The (lowers re then strained nway, a proee?r repeated till the fat la stilllclently flower scented, when the liquid fat is poured through a sieve, and the greasy (lower piuto subjected to hydraulic pressure. Since heliotrope blossoms must bo used as soon an Ihey are gatheied, and the melted grease carefully kept nt the low est temperature that will maintain It In the liquid state, the perfumer ac cepts ns a substitute heliotroplno, the white light crystalline powder obtained from the ground pepper. Kven If the.s- dillloultles of maniifacture were avoid ed by the nyrogenu or entleiirago sys tem, pure heliotrope essence could nev er become n popular perfume. Heat In jures It. The direct action of sunlight destroys It. Artifice replaces It with a mixture of the spirituous extracts of vanilla, ambergris, rose and orange flower, to which are added a few drops of essential oil of almonds. Chambers' Journal. A I'ollrcn (ilrl. Too. She was a college girl of lofty Ideas and superior ntl'iinments, such as col lege girls have in their early days. When she left her family to rest in tho mountains for awhile, she sa'd haugh tily: "No; I'll not take an evening gown. And pleafco don't put any of that paper covered literature Into my trunk-. I have tiomo philosophy to read mid I don't Intend to mix with tho hotel peoplo. Nature, my work ami serge frocks are enough for mo." Thru she depatted. At the end of four d.'O's her mother was startled by a telegram, It read: "Send two party frocka, a hammock and somo reliable face powder at once." So easily are lovo of nature and love of labor overcome. Kxchango. A Dltvntor. "The voice of the people," mid the man who was aching to talk about th? coming election, "tho voice of the peo ple Is the volco of dod." "Hats!" e.i lei tho man ho hael cor nered. "Ileg pardon?" "Hats, I said; r-a-t-3, rats. Just wait until you havo been compelled to do ride a homo player out at third a low nmiYi and then you will know how much lec tho voice of tho peoplo cuts. Yes." Cincinnati Enquirer. Tlioil silt fill I'riivlnliill, Hojack LI Hung Chang always carries his collla with him when ho navels. Tomdlk What did you say was the namo of the umpire? Now York WorlJ. jHIE RKI) CLOUD CHIMIN MCPHISTO. TUB FOX. A ilutl Vmgritiim Th! Win Nut fcue rrful. Hero comes old Mophlato himself: Look at him, grlnntig as ho trots along and loiinilng rod against the while of the snow, .says Longman's Magazine, it Is H"Ait.iril, following in pour, old, crazy Mr. Hare's tracks ami tracing every deviation made by that amiably eccentric Individual at a slow but M .id a trot. Thl.i will bring him eloae to our nmbush unlcs he detects nut" p:e.viii hero. He certainly luulu very hand-onio. though ovtieniely wicked withal. That grin of his In a most ill i bolle grlu. It says as plain as words; l sh i:l have this tool of a lime to-day. I he's goni.ig (in cracked na they make j 'em. and bo Is eliuo in front of me .it I this moment mid when I've got him I t'halj gh him what-for, because he has led me many a dance f-tr nolhln,;. Ha. ha! .lust a little extra nip and .i bit of woii'A won't he yell!' Nov, 1 am going to shoot this "ox for several reasons The llrsl is. that I shall not be handed for It in tills country, Indeed, no one will think tho worse of me for the act. but rather the better. Then ho Is the evil genluti of many worth) forest people besides the .-Illy, old Mr. Hare. It is dllliciilt to believe suii things of any one. but 1 have It on the best of authority that this mlFere.ini Is In the habit of mur dering that heroic lady, the drey Hen iwlfe of Lord lllaekcoclil as she t-iis upon the nest which Is shortly to be tilled with the little honorable. Iter sons and daughters. She will not lly In order to escape his fangs, but pre lers to stand by In r eggs until her liosh Is actually pierced, and when holf proservntiiui at length assorts Itself not ,n th" tlrst but an a subordinate law of nature and she tries to e.'eapo It is too late, h .s also true that this de testable ogre of the woods has fattened his red carcass upon the helpless. tooth some little ones of the willow grou,e, tho wild duck and even (though I scarcely dare to breathe the dreadful wards upon the august little persons of the young capercailzie princelings! Surely all this is evidence enough for the death warrant of such an arch trait or and rogue! lie shall die In his sins and many lives shall be saved thereby during this coming npringtliuo. Walt a minute. Let him advance Juht a lit tle nearer and then wo will speak to him In the voice of doom. Now then! up with our guns and let them execute sentence upon the culprit! Hut the cul prit is an exceedingly wily culprit end the glint of the sunlight upon the bar iel3 has Informed him in an instant of h!s danger. During that one instant he has turned nml Is now a streak of Hoe ing. Mooting red pigment, dancing In and out among the pine trees an es caping convict! l:i nt NI7.1 a P.. mi. I. It Is the pickings of the lint tips of tho blossoms. The greatest care must be taken in tho picking and nothing but tho bright, golden-hiicd tip taken off th" blossoms. All the picking of this grade Is carefully done by hand. The process of drying these tips In r.s delicate as the picking. The nniiial output Is ll'.OOi) pounds, valued nt $2,100,000. Hut live pounds of this tea have ever been known to have reached the rnitod States, excepting a f.w pounds placed on exhibition at the. world's fair. A rich lady residing nt New York wrote to Mr. Marr, the agent of tho Oylon tea growers for Amer ica at Chicago, and asked lilin to try to procure for her, If possible, Hvn pounds of this remarkable and expen sive tea. Mr. Marr was successful in securing six pounds of the precious article. The New York lady gave a check for 11,000 for her five pounds. New York Letter. I'rolialily. Slip What would you have done, Harry. If I'd not married you?" Harry dono bankrupt. Judge. CONUNDRUMS. What U a lako? A holo In tho tay kettle. What ruler waits on his people? The King of Servla. When Is a girl not a girl? When sh Is a Uttlo sulky. Why is tho letter o llko death? It is at tho end of life. Why Is a hen Immortal? Uecaiibe her son never sets. Why Is a cat's tall llko the earth? It Is tur to tho end. What Is a waist of time? Tho mid dle of an hour glass. Why la a doctor novor seasick? He's used to see sickness. What kin Is tho door mat to the bur? A step-father. Why does an old maid wear mittens? To keep off tho chaps. When la a hat not a hat? When It I't.conuM a pretty lady. What Is tho Hoard of Education? The schoolmaster's shingle. Why Is the letter k llko a pig's tall? It Is at tho end of pork. When Is a cow not a cow? Whin it Is turned Into a pasture. Why did tho man call his rooster Hohlnson? Hecaueo It Crusoe. When woro Napoleon's clothes rag ged? When ho was out at Klbo, Why is Westminster Abbey llko a flre-placo? It contains tho ashes of the great. When should wo read tho Hook of Nature? When autumn turns tho luiivrs. Why la a stick of candy llko a race horse? Tho moro you lick It tho faster It goes. What Is that will give a cold, euro a cold Mpi pay tho doctor's bill? A dt aught. KIM DAY, SKIT. U) 1 '.). A THAI NMD WIIALK. EDUCATED TO TOW A UOAT IOH ITS CAPTONS. (t Wu I'liiglit Whiii einlr r.ilir nnil e'rtfillljr lliilr I mi ; MiiiiI.-- llntllr Nint It Uork Very elrntl)- In llirnrt, lllc 01.. V. W. TILACK. of the cu omi '.- pir!in:it ,i! ?and j P.Miit. l'o:!off L'laiiil. up. uate ; i; ! .-tliniiagln gra:i; or Islatliln off the Alaskan 1'oalnnula. Is authority for a j reaiaik ihle story ei' j a captive whale. ' whi.'h, If the plans i have n i ui.si-.irr'.ed. Is now brliu ! Itlven ti San l-'r.iucl.uo, hirtif.mod to a boat and driven b) his captor-' ! .low n the .-(i.i.u through the waters oi J the o.-i .in The whale, named iiul.ihny. an Aleut I vend for taiaiense, was raptured In the I pring of IS!) , when a ealf of sonic ts I ar 1!0 months old. It was then abatit i l.'i or PI f.vt long, nml, though so yuins I mil small, was possessed of consl l.-i-ible siieugth. Dining a oh.iae for vvhalca by while tnd Indians, it w.u driven Into Pirate :'ovo. the entrance to which Is not over 100 feet wide, though It l.e fully twenty :nthom deep. John ('. Whlley. store keeper at the Island. Iniaiedi.itilA Uretthe.l across the mouth of the cove l strong wire net. Shortly afterward Whlley and his native servant attempt .l to feed the animal, and wore H'i oossful. bladder, seven f i gal lei i. Whlloy rigged up a walrus to which was attached six or t of rubber tube. About half if tow's milk was put In this luiprovi.el nursing bottle, and Whlley mid Kf.o'.iu put It In a hldarka. or c.Mioe. end paddled alongside the pup. which by this time would allow them to come alongside him with their bunts. After s'veral hours of patient coaxing the In.ltan succeeded in getting Huls boy to drink from the rubber tube. When the hldarka turned for tho shore P.ulshoy followed olive behind It. Moro Till-: WHALIi mill: wns obtained, and this time Huls hoy needed no coaxing to eliink It. I-'or tho next six weeks Whlley and the Indian fed the pup twice every day. The pup would stick his head out or the water, elose to the landing, and look out for his nurses long be ii.io the feeding time. It was not un til the following spring that the actual training of Huhilioy began to take def inite form. Whlloy one day said: "I am going to train that pup so that I can drive him to San Francisco." He and Kftoka were constantly to bo tren on the bay playing with Hulshoy, who, by this time, had become so tie eustonied to his owner and nurse that ho would como to them whenever they called him from any part of the bay, and allow them to handle him at their pleasure. While this process of tam ing was going on Whlley had taken tho pup's measure for a set of linrnoM, and Loth he and his native spent tho nlghta for several weeks In making It. Tho climax was reached on Friday, September 20, ISO.', when, for the first tlmo probably In tho history of tho world, n four-year-old. twenty-live foot wiuilo was successfully put In harnosj. When Whlloy and Kfteha. after putting on his harness, started for tho shore, Hulshoy ns usual started after the Mdarka, and In doing so mado tho dis covery that everything was not a.s It should be, and then ho reared and plunged around nt a lively rate, lash ing the quiet waters of tho bay Into foam In his efforts to free hlmsolf of tho offending harness. Hut the har ness was well and strongly mado and there was no shake-off to It. Hulshoy kept up bis antlc.i for two whole days. Next mmnlng he rvfiibcil to como to the cnll of either Whlloy or tho Aleut. Hunger, however, soon brought him to his senses, and on the morning of tho third da.v, as tho na tive was out on tho hay in his hl darka, Hulshoy camo meekly ulong sldo and seonied to beg for his break fast, which was given him. From that lay Hulshoy made no trouble. On October 1 Yilloy and the native took the long boat belonging to the station nnd attaching n tow lino, to the harness band Immediately ahead or the fore flipper, began to crulso around tho bay, and In a surprisingly short lime, according to Colonel Hlack. Hulshoy would pull the boat In any desired direction, I it - T ' ZZ&-i Hurlng the rest of the year the pup was dully exercised, On May 'Jl of thin year While')' and bis Aleut took the net away from the mouth of (he cove, mid, according to the programme laid out. struck out In deep water for the Island of Ougii, Hi miles away. The voyage was made without mishap. They afterward made a voyage Hum Popoff to Knrluk Island. It Is the plan or Whllry nnl his Aleut, according to Col. Hluel:, to leavo fcr I'an Kruiiotneo. gn'tlg In ray stages. I; will probably le tfepteinVr 1 before, trry le.t.-h S.i.i l-'rauelso. TUB CCM.O SPONCU liATM. Nut Only Dolls litfnt lull In 1'wrr Wny ll.-iirlli III. H.iHtl.ig Is chleily for ileinllni'ss, bit I: should be pi act iced also for Itn ;',oad effect upon the skin, the circula tion mid nutrition. It affords an evcellcnt stlmnl'.i.t far the skin, improving the tone of it.t minute not-work of vessel, Ir.crc.i-lng i he oveietloit that Is carried on by l! glands, and thus relievos the khluc.v.s aini liver of nuicli of their work. It arin as mi additional stimiilii.s to th" circulation by causing the blood to How more' thoroughly through all the o.'gans of the body as well as through i he minute blond vessels of the s! In llseir. It improves nutrition by causing a nunc rapid ioniov.il of the waste piod ii.ts from the system. One of the must Invigorating forms of bathing u the cold tqionge bath ta Ion In the morning before breakfast. Pe-tAons who do not react readily after such a bath, such as the very young, the very old, or those who me serious ly vwakencd by disease, should not practice It. l-'or a poison of average health, however, the cold bath Is an ex cellent tonic. After a old sponge bath of short duration then Is a feeling or well-being mid exhilaration. The whole man Is refreshed. The menial faculties are cleared, the muscles seem iitrengthoned and there Is a desire for both muscular and mental work. Thoio Is also a feel ing or warmth duo to the dilatation or tin blood vessels or the skin after the contiartlon caused by the cold water. The exhilaration and warmth of the z:. AT worn:. cold sponge bath may bo Increased by drying and rubbing the body with it rough towel. Care should always be taken not to have tho bath too prolonged, or of a temperature so low as to prevent the reactionary dilatation of tho vessels of thr skin. If the cold sponge hath bo taken reg ularly tho blood vessels of the skin are trained to contract ami relax eas ily, and Ihiteforo habitual bathers arc fotnparatlvely little liable to catch cold. The number of red blond-corpuscles and tho amount of coloring matter in them hi Increased by cold baths. An excellent way of becoming accus tomed to the cold sponge bath to to begin with water that is tepid, and gradually reduce Its temperature until absolutely cold water may be borne and I'tijoyod. Youth's Companion. A rnrrlltis riii'iioiiiniinu. "I'll give it up," said the scientist. "The action of sunlight Is loo miiph of a mystery for me to solve."' "Have you been trying to tic-count for some of the changes that take place In photography?" "No. That's hard enough to un derstand. Hut Its easy compared to the problem that 1 have undertaken to solve. I've boon trying to And out why It Is that on Saturday afternoon a man'!! sit down under nn electric fan with his shirt collar open and say tho heat won't lot him do a stroke of work, and tho next day put on a sweater and ride Ills blcyelo thirty seven miles between tho hours of 10 and I, nnd never say a word about the weather." Washington Star. A I'oolUli ejiif-tin. A gentleman traveling in England somo years ago, while walking near a railway, encountered a number of In pane people In r'-arge of a keeper. Nod ding to one of the lunatics ho tald: "When doui this railway go to?" With a scornful look the lunatic replied: "it doesn't go anywhere; we keep It hero to run trains on." Philadelphia Amer ican. Much disgust Is felt at tho demands of tho Australian banks for modlllca tlon of tho scheme of compromlso en tered into by them three years ago with their creditors. H ON THU CAULK CAN. Slr, J.nflor t-iiii(lfrnil ti I'.ilrnnli It -nut llirn WMit slio ll.tiln'l. l'roin Serihner's; The car started, forward, slmvlv. hut with that rapidly Increasing pecd so inWoadlng to tho uptight traveler. fin. I.ofter leaned deferentially toward Iter showy vls-a-vls. and laid luv hands caressingly up on his shouldo.-s. Then they hounded gracefully toward the door, with a tep that was neither a waltz nor a pnl'ij, but which was exe, utnl i-i s.ii h per fect dine that the ordinal y observer would have suspected a t1'-'" t re henr.ul. Although dlueiing w ;de!y In color and In social .landing th-se two travelers were, for (ho time being, cer tainly one In movement. This move ment was perhaps more of a galop than a polka, mid although harmoniously executed became u little too hasty at the llnlieli. The exhibition was brought to u close b.v her partner's back coming In violent couiucl with tho jamb of tho door. Although the dunce Itself waa practlcallA over. Mrs. Lofter continued lor a moment to press heavily against Iter dusky partner, mid to one unac customed to these conveyances her no tion might appear of questionable laste even If prompted by the warmest mTcetlon; but lo those familiar with tho Hroadway cable ears there wan nothing unusual In this performance, except, perhaps, the costly attire of the lead ing lady, and this milled a certain novidiy mid richness to the general oiTi'it. As Mrs. Lorter. hot with Indig nation, released hersilf mid stepped away from the grinning object of her caresses, n seal wnii offered which sho gladly in copied. Oin-c in it she had leisure lo look about. Although Inwardly revolting ngalnst the slel, enlng episode in which, to her everlasting humiliation, she had Just taken so conspicuous a part, her glance swept the row of opposite faces with haughty composure. She bit her lips ami there was dellance In her eyes as she noticed a general uniile through out thecar. Having no sense of humor herself, this cheerfulness seemed tut .actuc of liuinmi Insolence. LKNGTH OF LIFE. ('iiiiiir.tln l.iiiii,'rvllr t .Man III Dlf-ft-r.-nl I.Iiii-k if HtnliioM. Some interesting facts and llgures In legard to the comparative length of llfo of men In different Hues of business have been pn pared by Dr. (leorgo W. Wells, A. M., M. I)., onu of tho host known medical directors for ono of tho largest llfo Insurance companies in tho world. na)s an exchange. Dr. Wells, wliii Is about to publish In hook form the results of his many years' ex perience as a medical director, lias arranged tho following ta ble, showing the comparative mortality or men between the ages or lij and 05 years. The table represents many thousands of deaths which have been tabulated ami the percentages ar) l.aced upon every hundred eleatlis among lieigynieu, the longest lived In dividuals, as a class, of which there U any record. Thoio Is twice as good a chance that a minister will reach the age ir fi.i as that a doctor will. Clergymen, priests, ministers.. T... 101 Lawyers ',2 Medical men 202 Farmers 11 1 Agricultural laborers 121 dardoiiers 103 Fishermen 1 l,i Commercial clerks 17J Commercial travelers 171 Ii.nkeepers, liquor dealers 271 lun hotel service ;i'J7 Ilroweri 25t rime hors 211 linkers 17:2 Coi ti millers 172 Grocers 131) Drapers 1 53 Shopkeepers generally 15S Tailors . ISO Shoemakers ..... im; Hatters 102 Printers 192 Hookbluders 217 Tim Wrens .Wan. Hill the HI iter What's el' object or dm organization tiv yours, mister? Mis sion Worker To rescue the railed, my man. Hill the Htffor Well, don't talk ter me; I'm no bicyclist. Hoxbury Ga 'ette. - I JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY. Comllc writers are allwuss expected to be phuniiy when they talk, nnd, In the effort to ba so, are often very silly. Hook-larnlng Iz good, hut too mutcl ov It konkokts krudltys. which have been known to sour on tho iutelektual Miimmuk. What little I kno I hav larut hi mix ing with the medium and lower klas3 c?; dlmonds and lino gold aro oftunest found cluss to tho bed-rock. Ml natur prompts mo to mako fust ailvanciv. I hav ofton been snubbed krewelly for this, but I kan't help It, l:au I? I shall tlto it out on this line. Yu kan't allwuss Judge 11 appear ances. I hav oHon known a whole shirt to bo compozed entirely ov a pa per collar and a pair ov cotton wrist bands. I hav allwuss notlssed that thozo circles which an tho most oxkluslve hav but Uttlo Individual strength; mu tual admlnishun iz tho pap that sus tains them. 1 hav generally notls3cd that tho oM bachelors who glv themsclfs up en tirely to the service ov tlto ladys aro nllvvus ov the nuter gendor. Tlto wim min nover r.ill In luv with thezo phel lews; thoy aro too safe. Tho sudden sight In all tho world to mo Iz a, broken-hearted manly man a proud and robust oak riven bl lltenlnp from Heaven. I I 1 W VI ft? " "2bSSS3HHBflBIBii! rjacsrr1"