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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 11, 1864)
NEBRASKA ADVERTISER PUBLISHED EVEUY THURSDAY BY FISIIEIl & COLIIAPP, Berry' Old Stand,' Main Street. Browpvillo, 2NJ". 17. TERMS! One Copy, one year, In advance, - $i 00 Three Cpte, to one afidress, , - - 6 00 Club of Five, ...... 8 00 Club of Ten, - - . - - . ,15 CO When not paid in Advance, but paid within the year; 15 per cent will be added to the above terms. If delayed one year, or more, 5 per cent will be added. Book Work,- and Plain and Fancy Job Work, tie in the beat style, and on thort notice. nu s i n e ss car d s - C P. STEWART, EGLICTIC PHYSICIAN SURGEON. RROHTlLLt, KCKrtASKA. Office over H. C. Lett' Drug iStore, H"lladayg Block. Main street. v6-ti43-Iy EDVARD W. THOMAS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 30LICIT0R ilf CHAKCEEY. Omoe corner of StMin and Fir-t Streets. BHU WN VILLE, NEBRASKA. " IILLINBRY GOODS! Atr.w.unces to tVie laVCK of Broi;vllle and vl- inity, that t-lie ban just leciived from the East a njapniflroi.t n'O' k ! T 3 JLItD BUKIffiS KIILIKLEY G00ES, Cor.!ii:iu of iCS nnd ?!is-o ii nets and Hats. eh fhc tnvite-tbc atieiiii: oftl.e Udies, feel ired i hey caauot be oelter euited in style. o.uaj rice. n4l-ly D. .C. SAXUEUS, Agmt f.r ::::xii insuaAWCS co.f IIAKTrOIlD, CONN. j Jufc?, Ex-yft:tio Janice cf Tcace AG CAT ( mke out and U,ko ncknuwicdriieDts o Mortgngc., I'onJ?, A;1., aipta'tcntionpnid to a1-1 business entrusted t re. 0:Ti! v.T Cirjr Drug Store, OWN VILLE, N. T. THOMAS DAVIS, CLECTICPHYSICIAN .AND SURGEON, i'CiT, NEBRASKA Keftrcnce, Dr. P. Gwin, BrownriUe. 'rnlll.'fil. n40-Iy CSIJA7S T5KAVIS, ATTOKNEY AT LAW, PALLS CITY, KXEHARKA. J" Will prcucc in all the Courts of Nebraska. v8-n3-ly FAiaBAIIIIS' STANDARD SCALES OF ALL KINDS. ilso, "Warehouse Trucks, Lettw Presses, tc. 1V2 IsAHV ST., C2ISCAGO, t3"Be careful, and buy only the seuuine.X June 12ih,lSi3 Ii49-3:il T"thTp f l i c t e d . 1)R. A. GODFREY, PHYSICIAN, SURGEON AND OBSTETRICIAN, T.Jurate'l in Frswe. ha ire tv.-enty.flve years' expe 'nee in the J2lici! .ciiie n-i one of 'he crrerp-n "t t the 'Aniericao Journal of the Melical Soii-ii-,' located o: iiiHDeiui. in liri.wnviile, and re wi fmiy c.inerB hi. prvres.-ijnal ervicea to the cit t's i'f tln iiiy and vicinity. Je will r.it c ii. tine his ! vice to common practice, t extend t'iom to chr.mic ''iKaves di.-fat-es of Iopr i;liy .Miiicti c.t Turner-, anil S ire Abcei-es aiid "T'. Vaii.-ecH ai.d .Sre Kye. even part til Ui:iidnesa t'cp.-r, t .iiit.i ; iaii(;l l-'al iins Sickness. Pa-ir-y, tu4;;ia lrot"r, Cjncuuitin in the firut nd i.iil in'p. liii'itv- in s :ue form.-, ai;d ilieated of ft vt .id. Part it:ul;ir acrn'mn paid to Asue. 5-wilt, it ro.:ted. five teieienco to tiione pro m-wl iii.'urahie lutl.e V idled Stares- aud iterwar la e.l hy Inn. ) j i.nlat ill in s 'either at W IT MoOcery' 'Jtcro, 0r ?.t his dwx-IIins houtc, when Lot engaged f rolol'llH; hu- iucK. li5Uiy- Itew Kcxncdics fcr 'sperhatorrhcea; 0WAHD ASSOCIATION, piitl LPn.LrniA. 'nrro rnt Institution thtnllUhrd by specie! "r.'nt.fnrtn? k't.tf of the Sick and Uiitrrmtd. itrrt tr-.th Virulent ami CIrotue Viteasts. evd i ccd.'j for the Cure of IhUeatcs of the Sexual lilJICAL ADVICE Sivcn gratis, by the Acting :u'jR.,,.irt? on Spermatorrba'a. and other di.- of the Sexual Orcars. and on the NEW KKMK- . enijih.yed in tl, Yer? , sent ins!iied lettoi ! '".'i.i.ceor cuarpt. Two or three Stamps accent- 'ress pn.J.scn.US noi-GTITON, noward As "" Nt. 2. s.iuii N'iiuh' Sireet.Philadolpuia, P. 'ember 1J. 1S61. r.23-ly J. W. L1IDDLETON nufacturcr and Dealer in SADDT.tS, nMWESS, BRIDLES," COLLARS, WlinSj LASHES, NETS, CURRV CO'JUA, CAkUS, ERrSI'.ES, CARRIAGE TI'MMING IL1STERXG M41R, ' AlD A VARIETY OF EVERY T11INO TERTAININa TO "Mjr Prices Shall be in Accordance with the TIMES ' Strict Attention to Business I Expect :nt.inuation of tho Liberal Patronage c-tofore Bestowed by a Generous Public. pairing, of all Hinds Erecuted ' PHOLIPTLY. CASR PAID TOR HIDES. i. T. MIDDLETOX ITHEYER & R0BIS0I7, MAKurACTrjRi:K.s or BOOTS AHD SHOES, ".'""""".frrr-''' S iy WmnT r,PUrcha"e'1 lbe Su0 SP formerly teed n-ir..." we,10r offer our work at jrreat- t wor warranted. "-Ui,&ept.7,istii.- x, v i r VOL. VIII. HELLO, STRANGEE! UIIERE DID YOU GET THOSE N IC TV" GO.O DS ? AT J. BERHY & CO'S., THE VERY CHEAPEST IIOL'SE IN BROWNVILLE. J. BEERY & CO.; TTave lust received, ana are new opening, at stand on Jdaiu ttreet, one of the largest btoiks ollbelr DRY b A If D ghco: ever effered In this market. Remember the place, J. BERRY & CO.'S, BROWN VILLE, N. T. May 29. 1SG2. n7-tf JACOB MAKOIIN, MERCHANT TAILOR, BROWNYILLE, NEBRASKA Calls the attention of Gentlemen desiring new, neat servicable and fashionably Weaiing Apparel, HEW STOCK OF GOODS. JUST RECEIVED, BROAD CLOTHS, CASSIMSIIS, VESTING S, &C..&- OF TZIC VERY LATEST STYLES, Whih he will sell or makenp, to order, at unprece dented low prices. Uavm; ou hand one of SIXGEft'S SEWING MACHINES, he is able lo d Custom wjrii at raies ihdl Uefy c-j.upe-tition. I warr.int my work. Hand as well as 3Iaclilne Worlt. Th -fe wishin? any thinif in his line will do well to c.ll and exuuiine bis stock before investing, as he (ledcAM hiniscif to bold out peculiarly favorable in d. ("itientB. Xvcuiber 14th. ICG3. 0i umm mm Merchants and Post Masters who wi! 1 addres ns tl . all. will te .-tippiied wiiu (iardon, Field an lFlon; Seeds to fell till o.n.-.mi .i. d at fair rales. Thee set . are all grown here and :ne trne t. mvpr. TKo3fiS(X IIKDGE3.. Kfntaba K littery, Syracuse, Otoe, Co., Anp. 16 TAu5-Fti8 If . Nebraska SALIXALBA. The Greatest Timber for tlio PEAI1UES.- JT" U make a rerf'ect ne.ige fence in fonr ypa"rs ! f !no A re of it set t .s fall, in five years will muke e:ioug'.i Wood for one Family! ff" It pruvrs MraUttt, and very tall 1 " 3" It never tpfnats fiotu the roots; but when cat down, wi il prow aain troui the ntunip, very rapidly 1 53" It is tto best tort wood Tor fuel, er any other purpose ! 53" vt'hcn kept off the ground, the rails will last 30 ycr ! 53 It prows eqnally well with us on upland, where thi rich, as in the bottom ! 53" Outline cisht inches long stuck in the ground in t e Fall, never fail to grow I 53" We eell it for $( per thousand Cuttiugs, deliv ered at any of onr Aseocies. 53" Parties wuduiig to bny, should order early of our Antuts, ti) that they may ii"lify ua In time. CrTTlXGS Bundled and de'ivered ?.t the above plates, as soon an tte leares lull. T. It. FISnFU, urownvnitt, is Aent for ICeciaLa and e.i.-t half of Uii i.iini.-ain C.iunties. Ci.KTIS & PKAVEH. Pawnee City, are Agents for Pawr.f c .Tid wet ha if of itichardn Counties. KEY MR. TIXKUAil, Beatrice, is Agent for Gage and Jones C-miaio-t. J. II. KUTLlilt, Austin, Agent for Clay and Saline Counties. Beware of Willow Peddlers. " We learn that many swamps of common Willow have been cleaned up. aud the Cuttine sold as firav TTillow. We :et our VllloW of 8AMUKL EDWAUU3, of La Moille, Illinois, a responsible Xurserymaa. COLiriERCIAL NURSERY, CMIAIIA, XEDHASILA. E. H. BURCHES, PROPEIF.TOR.' ei!v- 1on s!nce btPn co winced of the want of a Cim " "rery m the West, where TREES, SHRUBS, FLOWERS, &c. fhnseVlsItt1vil"?a,, ,ni sou-in for sale at estblstied in this place, and cflei Wholesale or RetaU; A large and well selected stock, suited to this climax Apples, standard and dwarf ; pa ,, . JJ t. Cherries, Peaohs, -Apricots, , Ploia Quince, GoosberrfelDM' Currents, Grapes Raspberries, ' Strawbirrles Blackberries Roses, n i, Ornamental Trees. wwul Greechonse and Bedding Plants, etc., etc To which I would be? leave to call the attention f th people of Nebraska, Kansas, Colorado, Iowa and North west Missouri. ESMy terms will be as low as any reliable eastern Nursery. By purchasing of me the expense of transportation from the east can be raved. All tree and plants are carefully lahe'ed and picked in the be--t manner, for which a choree r.f the actual cota will he tia.ie. So charge v.i!i Le ia.ae for tlte delivers of packages on board t.teamb(.ats. All communications adJressed to the undersigned will receive prompt attention. Sf arcli, 1S3. E. it.' BUECHB3. LIBERTY AND U N I O N,- BR0WNVILLE, NEBHASKA", THURSDAY, THE BEWITCHED TARRIER. ' . . BT TUJ ARKAKSAW NIG BTINQ ALB. " Sam Johnaon wad a cuRuJ man , -, i Tfbo lived down bj. the sea; 113 owned rat tm Urrior, That stood 'b;ut one foot three; And the way thai croatura cliawed np rats, , "Was gorjiu for to see. ' ' One day the dor was slumWin' BtLicd tho kitchen store ' TrheasuddeD! a wicked ilea . A uy Unit core Couimonccd upon bis faithful back With many jumps to rove. . Then op arose tUut tarrier, . L, Wita rhrentv io his eye, " " . To m;;ke a touchia' cry, . Cotaineiicei to twist himself arouni iloit wciiderfully epry. v ' Cut all in Tain ; his shape was sioh . So awful short and fat That though be, doubled up hiinelf, lnd elraibid LL-vIf at that, Eii mouth Aj half an inch away From where tho yariuiiit bat. The dotg fet npf.n awful yowl, And tttided like an eel. : Emitting cries of mUory At every nip bti'd fel, ' . , . And tumbliu' dovrn and jumpin' up, And turuiu' like a wheel. EutsLiil that most owdaciousflea Kept up a constant chaw -Just where ho conld't be scratched out By any reach ttf paw, And always b ill an inch beyond Ilis victim's snappin' jaw. . Sam Johnson tcard the noise, and cams To sure his animile . But when he see the critter spin A backin' all the wbiie He dreaded hideriforti a, And then began to rile. "The pup iimad enough," says he, And luggiu' ia his axe, lie gave the recbid terrier A pair of awful cracks. That stretched him out upon the floor, As dead as carpet tacks. MORAL. , Take warnin' by this tarrier. Now turned to sassidge meat : And when miffortin's flea shall como Upon your back tu eat, Beware, or you may die because Tou can't in ike both ends mist. THE DOUBLE ROBBERY. Towards the close of the last century the County of Northumberland, (Eng land,) and the burder were terribly in fested by those to the lucoilic mind particularly obnoxious specimens of the 2ecus thief known as rievers" or 'lift er of cattle." Almost all the rascals who followed this not unlucrative profession trusted chiefly to mere brute force to carry out succehsfully their nefarious schemes. There was, however one exception to this rule to be found in the persen of a celebrated freebooter, known as "Dickey of Kingswood." This worthy cpenly expressed his disapproba tion of his nvals' vulgar mode of follow ing their profession, and repeatedly boast ed that he could achieve twice as much by his cunning as they could by their brute force. Nor was this assertion of his mere empty boasting far from it. In a few years' time Dickey's name be came a terror of the country side. No fanner felt secure when .. he retired to rest at night that his cattle might not have vanished ere . morning. So clever ly, moreover, were all Dickey's enter prise conducted, that no man could ever succeed in making personal acquaintance with him. He openly set justice at de fiance, and laughed at the futile efforts of the law to punish him. Perhaps, how ever, the best way to illustrate the adroit ness and good luck which characterized all Cickey's proceedings will be for me to.late the story of one of his exploits. It appears, then, that during the course of his peregrinations through Northumberland, one fine afternoon, Dickey's eyes were gladened by the sight of a pair of fine oxen which were quietly grazing in a field near Denton Burn, a village distant three miles from Newcastle. Determined to possess them, Dickey hung about the place till nightfall, watch ing where the animals wre driven to, and his usual good fortune assisting him speedily secured his prize. He also contrived, by the exercise of his ac customed cunning, to leave such traces behind him as made the owner of the oxen certain that the frebooter had made olF towards the Tweed. Thither he ac cordingly proceeded in hot haste. In the interim, however, Dickey had lost no time in "making tracks" towards the west country, and so expeditious were his movements, that in a short time he reached Lanercost in Cumberland. Here he fell in with aa old farmer on horse- tack, who being delighted with the pearance of the oxen, forthwith purchas ed them.- ' - - , Huh. O N E A N D ' I N S EP A n A B L Dlc'.icy va3 of ourse rejoiced at , get ting ri J so pleasantly of a charge which ccsM not fail U- trouble nay, possibly, dangercus-him .longer to retain. The farmer, moreover, was mounted upon a splendid, mare, which Dickey, with his peculiar ideas on tlie subject of mtum and h um, at once resolved, by fair means or foul, to secure. He therefore willingly accepted" thtf farmer's hospita ble invitation to accompany him' to his house in order that they might "crack" a bonis of wine in honor of their bar gain.- .Presently Dickey inquired cf the farmer if he would sell him his mare ? ' " "Sell vou mv mare !" exclaimed his selt ray -mare T -No, than ' Ycu ! Why, there's not her equal in the whole north country v ' ,; - , - "I'd6not doubt it," Mr. Musgrave," responded Dickey -''and from what I saw of her rpaces ' this morning, I am quite of your opinion that there's not her equal within a hundred rriiles of us; but, added tie obsequious' Dick, "since you will not sell her, . I can only wish you long life and good health" to enjoy her. This sentiment was of course duly honored in a bumper. "I hope, Mr. Musgrave," next obser ved Dickey, "that you keep a close look out after your stable-door, because now, when that confounded rascal Dickey of Kingswood i3 allowed to be at liberty, a man cannot be sure but that any fine morning he my find his stable empty." "Stable ! ha ! ha !" chuckled the far- mer. " i ininK, ne continued, "that Dickey of Kingswood would ficd it rath er difficult to steal my mare out of her stable!". . ' Indeed ! where may her stable be situated inquired Dickey. "Her stable ! God bless you, sir !" an swered Mr. Musgrave, "her stable is in my bedroom ! I am a bachelor,1 and so every night I fasten her to my bed-post. I have had a manger put up for her in the room, and no music is so pleasant to me as to hear her grinding her corn all night by my bedside." Dickey war, astonished as well he might be at such unheard-of precautions but, disguise ing his astonishment, he contented himsel f by simply expressing to the farmer his hearty approval of the means he adopted to secure the safety of his favorite. "I'suppose you have a good lock upon your bed-room door?" was Dickey's next "feeler." ' ' : "Come with me,' and I will show it to you," replied the unsuspecting farmer. This was of course just what Dickey wanted. He examined the lock carefully and soon satisfied himiftlf that he could pick it without much difficulty. He, however declared to Mr. Musgrave that it was "just the right sort of lock;" "it was quite non-pickable," &c, &c, Again the loving cup passed round, und after draining a; bumper to their "next merry meeting-," Dickey departed. The old farmer, after his. guest's leave-taking had been completed, care fully went the rounds of his house, lock' ing doors and closing windows with all precaution. He then, as usual tied his mare to her accustomed post, retired to bed, and was soon lulled to sleep by the sound of his favorite's grinding her corn. So the night wore away. Presently, as the first gray streaks of day began lo appear, Mr. Musgrave awoke, and feel ing very cold and chilly, looked round to ascertain th. cause. To his astonish ment, he found that all the coverlets, had been taken off his bed and that his blank ets had been spread out upon the floor. For what purpose ? thought Mr. Mus grave. Was he the victim of some hor rible nightmare, cr was he really awake! Mechanically, his eye glanced to the spot where his mare should have been. She was not there! ' She was gone stolen! During the night some daring thief had broken into the farm house, had picked the lock on the door of the bed-room, had spread the blankets over the floor, so that the hoofs of the mare should make no noise, and . had thus triumphantly made off with his prise. Of , course Mr. Musgrave roused his household, and commenced a vigorous search after the thief. It was useless. The despoiler had left no traces behind him, and so Mr. Musgrave was obliged to reture home disconsolate, and to con tent himself with venting curses neither few nor far between upon the thief. In. the meantime our iriend Dickey for his was the deed was comfortably mounted upon Mr. Musgrave's favorite mare, and was every moment increasing the distance between her outraged owner and himself. So great was the speed of the mare, that by break of day Dickey ap-jfelt himself secure from pursuit. He had directed his steps to the eastward, and whilst crossing Haltwhistle Fall, - i I I i i ' J . ! 1 t J I It E, NO W A N D FOREVEB." FEBUAKY 11, 1864. whom should he encounter but the verit able owner of the oxen he had stolen two or three days before, and just sold to Mr. Musgrave ! Dickey knew the owner of the oxen well, but luckily for the freebooter, that injured individual did not know him. He therefore accosted Dickey, and inquired if he had seen any oxen in the course of his : travels, similar to those which he described himself to Dick as being in search of. ' . ' "Why to be sure I have!" replied Dickey; Vwith the very same marks as you describegrazing in Mr. Ma&grave's fields at Lanercost, only yesterday. I i u.m nor! 'Kv their appearance, and learnt, on ioirj. from one of his servants, that Mr. Mur grave had just purchased them. Un doubtedly the oxen are yours. I would adrisa you to go at once to Lanercost and claim them." "Certainly I will," replied the' other. "But I am knocked up with walking, acd it is a long way to Lanercost. I see you ride a good beastr Will yon sell her?" After some hard bargaining, terms were agreed upon, the purchase money paid down on the spot, aad Dickey and the farmer separated the latter to seek his stolen oxen, actually from the very owner of the stolen mare he was himself riding; whilst Dickey proceeded "where he listed." The next day the farmer reached Lanercost, and, of course, at once recog nized his own oxen grazing in the field. He forthwith rode up to an elderly man standing near, Whom he judged to be the owner of the field, and exclaimed: . "I say, friend, those are my . oxen in your field! How may you have come by them ? '.'And I'll be d d," replied the other, (after taking a long astonished 'look at the animal on which his questioner waa mounted,) "if that's not ray mare you are riding! How may you have come by her, pray ?" Each of course described the person from which he had respectively purchased the oxen and the mare ; and when this was done, they discovered that they had indeed been "sold" by a rogue of no common order. So laughable, however, did the joke appear even to' those who had to "payj the piper" in the affair that neither party could prevent breaking into a peal of merriment when the particulars were fully disclosed. '. ' - . It was now clear that the only way to settle the affair, was for each party to take back his own property. Mr. Mus grave was of course overjoyed at the re covery of his favorite mare ; aud the Denton Burn farmer, being equally de lighted at the recovery . of his favorite oxen it fell out that, in the general burst of rejoicing, Dickey was allowed to pocket ths sale money of both mare and oxen. Whether Dickey ultimately came to an untimely end, or whether he refermed his ways, and died, duly "shrived," in his own bed, history telleth not. Certain it is, however, that to this day his deeds are "household words" inmanv parts of Northumberland, and the men tion of his name among3t the peasantry is considered synonymous with "cute ness." Once a -Week. A correspondent of the Columbia (S. C.) Times gives the following melan choly illustration of the uncertainty of types. A young person-by the name of Conkey having been united by the holy bonds- of wedlock sent the marriage no tice, with a verse of his own composition, to the printer for publicationas follows i "Married At Gosham, July 2S, A. Conkey, Esq., Attorney at Law, to Miss Euphemia Wiggins, both flf Gotham. ''Love is the anion of two hearts That beat in softest melody J Time, with its ravage;, impart) No bitter fusion to its ecstacy." Mr. Conkey looked with much anxiety for the issue of the Gosham Sentinel, in order to see his name in print. The compositor into whose charge the notice was placed happened to be on a spree at the time, and made some wonderful blunders ia setting it up thus : "Married At Gosham, July 33. A Donkey, Esq,, Eternally at Law', to Mr. Epheunia piggins, both of Goosdam. ''Jove is an onion of two heai That belts in softest melony j Tim with its cabbages imparts No better feed to an extra dray." Phancy Mr. Alexander Conkey's phee linx! .' : . Men will have the same venoratiori for a person who suffers adversity with out dejection, as they will for demolished temples, the very ruln3 of which are referenced and adored. iroz ny ir Trv jV j I jLiV j X ,-.it.xjaK-JLn '.Mil WPW Arteirias WrJ, in a recent letter, thus gives his li.-j. cf reorganization: "I never cttc-. tsd my wife but once. I L-La!l nftr atterupi it again. I'd . bin to a public dinner, and haJ allowed my self to Le Lviiraytid into drinkin' several p-.'o;.le's healths; and wishin, to make j Vn as robust as-pcioitla, I continued drinking their healths until my own be came affected, - Consekeas was, I pres nted myself at B:tsy's bedside late at nite with censiderable licker concealed about my person. T l.'l crm o y nrrr rrnt nofeot'tn nf a hosswhip on my way home, and remem berin some cranky ooservahun of Mrs Ward's. in .the mornin I ..snapt the whip proity liv&iy and in a very loud voi'ca 1 said, 'Betsey, you need reoranizin'! I hava come Bjtsy,' I continued, crack in the whip over the bed, 'I have come to reorganize you !' ' I dreamed that nite that sumbody had laid a hosswhip over me sev'ril con seckootive times, and when I woke up I found she had. ,1 haint drunk much cf anythink since, and if I ever have anoth er reorganizin' job on hand I shall let it out. Phrenological Karacter of Mr Mark Mill Berr Esq Given at the office of proff. Josh Billings praktikal phenologs, prise SI. Amativenes.Bigg: Stikj out like a hornet's nest. You ought tew be able tew luv the hole human familee with yure bump at oast. Ye will never be a widderer long net any. Politiks. Yu have got the natural wa. A splendid bump. It feels like a dim- okratik bump toer Menny man has got tu be cunstable with half youre bump. .Kombativness. Sleightually,- very much Yu mite fite a woman, but tuff match. I shud like tu bet on the woman, This bump wants poultising. Vittles. Bi thunder what a bump ! I shud think yu cud eat a hoss and cart, and chase the driver three mjle3 without enny praktis. Thunder and lightning! what a bump! what a bump! Let Earnum get his hand on this bump and yure fortin iz made. " What a bump what a bump ! Musik A sweet, pretty bump. About the size of a lima beam If I had this bump I would buy me a juice harp and wonder amoiithe Rocky mountains. Pon my word, Mr. MillBeery, my ad vice is nuss tl ij bump. Greenbacks Well devoted. A gorge ous bump. A fortin to enny man. Yu kant help but die rich, if this bump don't go back on yu. Gorgeous bump! die when you feel like it, deth wont have enny sorrow for year relations that this bump wont heel. A son of the Green Isle, a new mem ber of Col. Gillain's Middle Tennessee Regiment, while stationed at Nashville, recently, was detailed on guard-duty on a prominet street of that city. It was his first experience at guard mounting, and he strutted along hii beat oppear ently with a full appreciation of the dig nity and importance of his position. As a citizen approached, he shouted. "Halt ! Who comes there?" "A citizen," was the response. . "Advance, citizen, and give the coun tersign. "I haven't the countersign; and, if I had, the demand for it at this time and place is something very strange and unu sal," rejoined the citizen. "An', by the howly Moses, ye don't pass at all till ye say Bunker Hill," was Pat's reply. The citizen, approaching the "situa tion," advanced and cautiously whispered in his ear the necessary words. "Right! Pass on." And the wide awake seminal resumed his beat After the recent advance of cur array upon Bragg at Tullahoraa, and his re treat, the Pioneer Brigade pushed on to Elk River to repair a bridge.' While one cf its men, a private, was bathing in the river, five of Bragg's soliiers, guns in hand, came to the bank and took aim at the swimmer, one of them shout ing, "Come here, you Yank, out of the wet !" The Federal was quite sure that he was "done for," and at once obeyed the order. After dressing himself, he was thu3 accosted: "You surrender, otir prisoner,' do you ?" "Yes; of course I do. "That's kind. Now we'll surrender to you!" And the five stacked anus be fore hid their spokesman add ing, ; "We've done with 'em, and have said to old Bragg, 'good-by !' Secesh is play ed cut. Now you surround us and take cs into your camp." IiEDRASKA rates or Aivi::vr: -::':. Cn square (tenllseso tfru. .t, ' '" Each additional taw., i - J J Riminftj; c:ard9.is or !? 5i. cae rear S One co : a Dm oneyeir - One fc'f (d'srna on y ir Oje foart h column c i y Cne elznti colniua j:r Cp.9W!uJ11 tiX ri:.'.i One hlf foTT"a sir - One fourth column .si:. ' i On eisrtuliot a column ii . One column three month - One half column tbrce e ' ' One fourth column thre? nv j One e' :Vi col o:: n threo c:- ; C J c A 3 i ) i ; . 6 CO 1 In Tra;:-ci--nt A'lvert;.ra ;H, f r . j over e" square will he charged t r by tie lice, tt?.9 rv ) of ta i taut the first week, and S cents etch suleqaent wtet Thi3 wa3 dene accordingly, acd u bet one cf hundreds cf instances cf vhbla sale desertion ceding to the kco.vix'je cf our officers during the pest two rr.cnths--. July and Aujust in L,ower Ten::: 332 1; Two Tears ago our ccen v;;ra very strict inrespect to foraging u-ca ths in dividual heck. Chickens and pija held scared, because , ' " - "It 13 a sia ; : , - ' To steal a pin," But a year or so of earnest v.nr trj-t the ration a lessen, and this s'.rictr.esi has been fjreatly relaxed. Nov? it is practically 'voct, hog, cr die" with cur soldiers when in the enemy's country. ;- Early cne morning in 1SC2, while at Farming ton, near Corinth. Mississippi, as Brigadier (now . Major) General Palmer was aiding along his lines, to in spect some breastworks that had been thrown up during the previous night, hi came suddenly upon some cf the boys cf Company I, Twenty seventh lllincil Vclun'etrs, who had just shot a twi hundred pound hog, and, were engaged in the interesting process cf skinning it; The soldiers were startled; their chief looked astonished and sorrowful. - Ah! a body a corpse. Some poor f el-' low gone to his last home. Well, hi must be buried with military honorj; Sergent'call the officer of the guard." !t The officer was speedly at hand and received orders to have a grave dug ani . the body buried forthwith. The grari was'soon prepared, and then the company were mustered. Pall-bearer3 placed tha body of the dead upon a strecher. , Tha order was given to march, and. with re versed arms and funeral tread, the sol emn procession of sixty men followed ths body to the grave. Not a word passed; nor a muscle ef the face stirred whiii the last rights of sepulture were beinj performed. The ceremony over, th general and his staff waved their adiisut and were soon lost in the distance. The philosophy of the soldier is usu ally equal to the emergency. lie hii read and pondered. He now painfully realized that fleh i3 a3 grass, and that life is but a shadow. ' But he thinks cf the resurrection, and his gloom pase3 away. So with the philosophic boys of Company I Twenty-seventh Illinois. Ear the general was fairly seated at his owd breakfast-table, there was a raising of . the dead, arid savory pork-steaks were i 1 many a camp-pan. Somebody (who is a near relation of Artemu3 Wa-d, we judge), gets eff the following cn that very useful but mucii abused animal, the male: "Tha air like sum men, verra korrupt at hart ; I've knowd them to be good fcr six months jist to git a chance to kick somebody. I never owned one and never mean to, cnless there U a United Stated law requiring it. The only reason why they are pashunet, is because they ara ashamed of their.-elfs. I have seen ed JI cated mt.it lis in a circus they could kick and bite tremeiijis. I would 'not say what I am forced to say agin the muell, if his birth wan't an outrage, and he ain't to blame for it. Enny man who ii willin to drive a muell, ought to be ex empt by law from runnin fcr the Legia latur. Tha are the strongest creatures on airth, and the hevyest accordin to their size; I heerd tell o:f on3 who fell cpV from the kanawl, and sunk S3 soorJ a3 hj teched the botturn, but he kept rite ca towin the boat to the naxt 'stashua", breathin through his ear3,""whjch was oil of the water two feet six inchest t didn't see this, but an auctioneer told me cf it, and I never knowd an auctioneer to lie, unles-s he could make something out cf it." , . " A darkey preacher arose io announce , his text as follows; "In de fu3t p-.stcl ob Clober, and two hundred and ninety fust, werse - ." ( 1 ''Hold up, doctor,, shouted one ct his hearers, "you hab got on de wrong bob; you mean de pistol cf TimV.hy I 'spese ?" The preacher hesitated a moment, with a profound lock and said: , "Well, I must cave in di3tim'3, though I knowed dat de test wa3 somewLare anicng the grasses." A thick-headed ?quire being worst ed by the Rev. Sydney Smith in an . argu ment, took his revenge by exclaiming; "if I had a son who was an idiot, I would make him a parson." "Very probably." said Sydney; "but I see your father hai a different opinion." . A room has been prepared in Phil adelphia for the batching cf erga by steam, after the ctiotora cf the Chinese.' The establishment ii about OX) hr'i power.'