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The Commoner.
VOLUME .12, NUMBER 30
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The Commoner. Tke Baltimore Affair from Three Angles
ISSUED WEEKLY
Entered at the- Postofllco at Lincoln, Nobraska,
ns second-class matter.
WlMJAM J. MllYAN
KdJtornml Proprietor
l(JCHAJll) 1j. Jil l.'J (.'A J.I'K
AfraclnleKdltor
CllAJU.K5 W. IJllYAN
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THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Nob.
Yes, Sophronia; tho Mr. Perkins now manag
ing tho Roosevelt campaign in the interests of
"progressive republicanism" is tho same Mr.
Perkins who assisted tho steel trust to gobble
up its only competitor, tho Tennessee Coal and
Iron Co., which gobbling was permitted by Presi
dent Roosevelt in order to stop a panic started
for that very purpose.
"Lancaster" is the postofllce 'name for tho
Nebraska state prison. A letter addressed to
"Tho Hottest Democrat in Lancaster, Nebr.,"
was returned to the writer with tho notation:
"No domocrats in Lancaster." A column might
be written, but the simple statement of the fact
is sufficient.
It is said .that every tone of tho human voice,
, sung into a tube, will produce a different figure,
each tone producing the figure of some flower.
This being true we oplno that the voice from
Oyster Bay would make a fine collection of cab-
, bages and cauliflowers.
Mr. Roosevelt insists that his refusal to dine
with Lorimer 1b tho direct cause of Lorimer's
expulsion from the senate. By the same token
Booker T. Washington ought to be wearing a
Bonatorlal toga.
If the dissolution of tho beef trust means tho
same results that followed tho dissolution of
tho oil trust, we may bo pardoned for express
ing the hope that the dissolution will be post
poned for a spell.
A few years ago a man who declared himself
to be a democrat was immediately asked, "What
kind of a democrat?" Not so now. But there
seems to be quite a sizeable lot of different kinds
of republicans these days.
Trust magnates indignantly deny that they
contributed to tho republican campaign fund in
1908. They merely contributed liberally to re
publican state committees for the purpose of
securing tho electoral votes of said states.
Having previously informed us that there'
were "good trusts" and "bad trusts," Mr. Roose
velt should now differentiate between steam
' rollers.
Somehow or other a lot of us wish that the
Strenuous One's aversion to amalgamation had
found vent prior to that famous panic panacea
in 1907.
, Various newspaper dispatches are to the effect
i 41in n mnnv nnnrfnro ! rtiVvl ism.. -.
1 ting together." This means, however, that they
M aro "coming together."
Judge Stanford's sudden regard for his health
is. a hint to the people to' have other federal
judgeB examined by specialists.
It appears that tho republican national com
mittee has been careful to select, secretaries and
-treasurers possessing convenient forgettories. '
George Ado in Collier's Weekly: The Hon.
Brad Swivett is homo from Baltimore. When
ho stepped off No. 6 on the stilted wooden plat
form parallel with the railway tracks cleaving
Pigeon Crest, Missouri, he still wore his dele
gate badge his alpaca coat pulled tightly over
his plump shoulders, for in ono side pocket was
a book of views, folded concertina-wise, and tho
other side pocket contained, as a counterweight,
two dozen metallic souvenirs for Ella's children.
Ono of the Lamsey boys took the suit case
and Earl Pettit, second son of the county re
corder, carried the basket of freestones pur
chased at St. Louis.
Tho Hon. Brad catty-cornered to the cool
shade along tho front of the Commercial hotel.
Shaking hands right and left, he moved toward
the Gem restaurant and ice-cream parlor, a
straggling parade gathering behind him. His
cane-seated throne was waiting under the
wooden awning. While removing tho coat and
hanging it on a bunch of bananas, ho spoke no
word, ndr did he smile. Yet those who stood
six or eight feet away from him, held somewhat
aloof by an instinct of respectful submission,
saw tho grim light of prophecy in his weary
eyes and knew that the compressed lips were
holding back a message from the supreme
council.
Ho had been away only two weeks, but he
looked five years older and forty per cent more
momentous.
Master Busby, in charge of the fountain at
the Gem came with a tall and clinking bever
age for tho political baron of Pigeon Crest.
Tho drink was dark in color and spiced with the
secret essence of the kola nut a subtle invigor
ant still tolerated in tho dry belt.
The Hon. Brad Swivett quaffedv it In three
gulps, long sustained, and then gazed reflec
tively at the twinkling globes of ice. Undo
Wes Everill, balancing himself on an upended
crate of tomatoes, broke the brief silence:
"How about it, Brad?"
And the gallant son of Missouri, still smell
ing of the smoke of battle, watched the ice melt
and spoke as follows:
"We got there of a Monday. Baltimore is a
lively town, but a good deal different from Saint
Louey. The business part is full of tall build
ings and crowded on the order of Chicago, but
tho residence part, where we camped, is the
doggonedest-lookin' place you ever see. The
houses are packed in together, without any
front yards and all of them cut off o' the same
piece. I guess I saw a million brick dwellin's
four stories high, all the brickwork lined out
in white and a marble flight o' stairs in front of
every blamed house. The principal industry of
all the niggers in Baltimore is keepin' the steps
clean. The hotels bein' so crowded, six of our
delegation went to a private family. We got
bods and breakfast for five a day, which'll give
you some faint and gropin' idea of what it costs
to save the country."
Now, all this was clearly unrelated to the re
cent ordeal of fire. It looked as if the Hon
Brad Swivett was skirting the issue. Uncle
Wes spoke what he alone dared say: "We've
been wonderin' around here, Brad, how you ever
worked yourself up to votin' against Bryan."
The delegate had been expecting it. He
shook his head mournfully.
"Boys, I guess you know how far I've been
wlllin' to go for William Jennings on any ordi
nary proposition. We trailed down there to
Baltimore with a good many other tried and
true democrats to adopt a platform agreein' in
no particular with that crazy-quilt patched to
gether in Chicago and to nominate Champ Clark
for president. I s'pose that four-fifths of all us
delegates landed there hopin we could stave off
v a family row and go through the week without
makin' large gray monkeys of ourselves. All
the way down we heard distant rumblin's to the
effect that William J. was goin' to make a fight
on Judge Parker for temporary chairman. We
hoped it wasn't so. The judge had been picked
out by the national committee and was backed
up by a lot of regular bench-workin' state bosses
that we needed in our business. Us delegates
had nothin' against Judge Parker, personally.
He may be a secret agent of Wall street, but ho
don't look it. I've always figured ho was tho
kind of man that would go along at a Sunday
school picnic to put up a swing for tho chil
dren. I guess the truth o the matter is that
Bill Bryan was sore as a crab to see his, old
time enemies, and the New York crowd runnin
things. You take a man who's used to wearin
the high top boots and crackin' the whip, an' it
grinds him to crawl up on the blue seats an'
lay quiet. And, Of couTse, I wouldn't make any
deposition that Bill didn't have it in the back
of his head all the time that if ho could head
off Parker and get out in front of us and sound
a few clarion blasts on the old dented e-flat
bugle, mebbe we'd forget our instructions and
buck through tho wire fence and go on a regular
1896 stampede. Dang it all, you can't blame
him. I s'pose the one plank in his platform
that's never been planed down or dovetailed or
changed in any particular is the one that speci
fies him as the lad to straddle the white horse
and lead the procesh. If I had been grubbin' and
waterin' around a patch for sixteen years,
watchin' a melon get ripe, I wouldn't feel like
givin' three hearty cheers when some neighbor
emerged from the corn-field and picked the
melon."
"He said the money kings and the bosses
they own, body and britches, was tryin' to steal
the convention," suggested Ory Cramp, from
the doorway. Mr. Cramp is proprietor of tho
Gem and corresponding secretary of the Jack
son club.
"That's what made it hard for us. We're ac
customed to takin' his word on any proposi
tion derogatory to or of Wall street. But listen,
men. We needed considerable over 700 votes to
land Champ. That bunch of 90 votes from New
York looked bigger than a haystack to us. Could
we say to Mr. Murphy: 'Please don't vote for
our man becuz you're under suspicion?' I'm
for the west against the east, but I'm for votes
wherever they're to be ob-tained. Of course,
us plain delegates may not have got on to all
that was bein' cooked up in the back rooms,
but it galled us to have even Bill Bryan hint
around that Champ had hooked up with the
same New York milionaires that he's been
toastin' for twenty years."
"I'll bet Bryan made 'em set up and take
notice," said Undo Wes.
"Yes," replied Mr. Swivett, "tho only thing
we felt sure of at all times was that Bill would
make another speech in a few minutes. He
seemed to come under the nead of unfinished
business. No matter what was before the house,
Bill was able to jump in an' prove that he was
the only thing before the house. Tuesday morn
ing we went up to the Armory, a half mile from
where we lived, our badges flutterin' gayly and
hope singin' in our hearts, so to speak. We were
all deluded into the belief that we could jam
through a harmony program and name Clark on
the second ballot. By the way, I s'pose that
Armory is the biggest building in the world.
It's made of stone, with a hump-backed room,
and bein' entirely surrounded by little squatty
houses where the niggers live, it was just like
Jumbo standin' out in a field with Shetland
ponies all around, knee-high. We packed her
to the roof and gave a few preliminary hollers
an' had a prayer, an' then before we could turn
a wheel William Jennings was up in the tall
pulpit makin' a fight on the New York crowd.
There we sat, achin' to holler for him and half
believin' everything he said, but not darin' to
make a move against the fellows we counted
on to help us nominate Champ. After he got
turned down that day, the word went around
that he would be allowed to doctor the plat
form to iis heart's content. In fact, he could
have anything he wanted except the nomination.
They started in to placate and the more they
placated the hotter he got."
"He was fightin' for a great principle," sug
gested Uncle Wes.
7e11, bout half tne delegates thought so,
an? :Se er half figured that tho hot weather
and the sight of that nomination hangin' some
two feet above his reach had worked together to
loco him. Still, when it come around to Thurs
day evening things looked purty harmonious.
Tne contests was settled and the platform was
on the fire, and all we had to do was listen to
tne wind-jammers, nominate Champ, and start
nonae. I s pose you read about it. Tho hall
looked as if it had a million people in it that
night. Another million collected outside and
tried to keep us from gettIn, in j never gaw.
SSm "Jnation. Every part of that big
amphitheatrical arena was just one flare and
glare of light, like a tableau in school hall. We
.- u?uaLprayer and then, before we could
wwkJ William J- Had plunked in again
mn that dynamite resolution against tne cojir
r.
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