-! r
The Commoner.
aLTTOUST i, 1911
13
AGGept this $25 Suit
VBi FREE rar outfit mtrmi one
frith our iww moat remarkaita etqr
noty-mKinBoner,wiuifMrair sam
ple suit offer too. lio swell drced, and i
backed ny tin in sparo time or an time,
ns our rvgntftfTttaUra In your cxeltul va
territory. No money or xpcnn
neerstnry. No rofcrcr.cwi or it! tape.
Your best rluuira is Itcro If you wrlto m
postal quick. Our offer means
4M Mmi
fLssal
!
. . .
Js
.lLi-i't
n !
H-A.
"
A..'
Biblical Humor
It Is high time, my friend, that
you disabused your mind of the idea
if it is there that the Bible is
devoid of humor, both in the shape
of wit and in the shape of descrip
tion. Some of the most deliciously
humorous descriptions known to
' mankind are to be found In holy writ.
And why not? Man Is the only ani
mal that laughs, and some scientists
-hold that this sense of humor Is the
one trait that sharply divides man
from the lower animals. If the Bible
is a perfect book as Christians hold
then it certainly must appeal to
that sense of man which he does not
hold in common with the lower ani
mals the sense of humor.
Multiplied pages would not suffice
to point out all the humorous
descrintions. the wittv nassaces and
the saTcastic and ironic sayings of
the book of books. But a few samples
may suffice to give many a new line
of thought in their study of it. Read
the account of King Asa's last illness
and death, II Chron. 12:13. "And
' Asa in the thirty and ninth year of
his reign was diseased in his feet,
until his diseaso was exceedingly
great j yet in his disease he sought
not to the Lord, but to the physicians.
And Asa slept with his fathers."
The chronicler of that event obvi
ously did not think highly of the
medical fraternity.
Samson was a joker. Remember,
if you please, how he told Delilah
that if he were bQund with seven
green withes he would be helpless;
and how Delilah Imparted the' infor
mation with treacherous intent to
the Philistines. Can you Imagine
that Samson did not chuckle as he
thought of the surprise party in store
for his enemies; or imagine if you
can that the historian of that time
failed to perceive the humor of the
incident. We opine that Samson was
about the only one who laughed at
the time, however. And who but a
joker would have conceived the idea
of confounding his enemies by using
foxes as the medium for carrying fire
through their harvest fields? -
- Wit In description? The Bible is
full of it. Instead of bluntly calling
some of his deriders members of the
long-eared fraternity he wittily said:
"Among the bushes they brayed;
under the nettles they were gathered
together." Remember what the allies
of Pharoah said of him after they
learned that his promises of speedy
victory over the Israelites were im
possible of fulfillment? "Pharoah,
king of Egypt, Is but a noise; he hath
let the appointed time pass by."
Repartee? Ben-hadad desires war
with Israel and sends word to the
king of Israel that he intends to
destroy his army. "Let not him that
g'irdeth on his harness boat himself
as he that putteth it off," is the con
temptuous reply of the Israelite.
' Amasiah desired war with Johoash
and sent word, "Come, let us look
." one another in the face." Jehoash
replied: "The thistle that was in
Lebanon, sent to the cedar that was
in, Lebanon saying, Give thy daugh
ter to my son, to wife. And there
passed by a wild beast that was in
Lebanon and trod down the thistle."
Doubtless Amaziah was more anxious
than ever for war after he received
that answer to his challenge. To
Zophar8 dreary commonplaces Job
wearily retorts; "No doubt ye are
the people and wisdom will die with
you." Then Bliphaz, who heard it
gets back at Job by saying: "Art
-.thou the first man that was born?
or wast thou made before the hills?"
Imagine, if you can, a keener retort
than that of Paul during his defense
before the council. Angered by some
of Paul's remarks, Ananias the high
priest commands some one to smite
him on the mouth. "God will smite
thee, thou.whited sepulchre; for Bit
test thou to judge me after the law
and commandcst mo to be smitten
contrary to law?" Alarmed at this
seeming lose majeste some present
asked: "Revllest thou God's high
priest?" Paul's answer was the most
subtle sarcasm: "I wist not, breth
ren, that he was the high priest!"
Did Jesus have a well developed
sense of humor? If He did not, then.
Ho was not a perfect man. Tlfat He
was the possessor of a highly de
veloped sense of humor is evidenced
time after time. Just recall His
sarcastic comment on the scribes
and phariseeB who sit in Moses' seat:
"All therefore whatsoever they did
you observe, that observe and do; but
do not ye after their works; for they
say and do not." Great preachers,
those scribes and Pharisees, but
mighty short on the practicing end
of it. We laugh at the vanity of Mr.
Turveydrop who complacently says:
"I suppose I must go and show my
self about town; it will be expected
of me." Jesus sarcastically referred
to the scribes and Pharisees who "go
arrayed in long clothing," who "love
the uppermost rooms at feasts, and
the chief seats in the synagogues.."
He limited the Turveydrops of His
day in few words. Could Jesus ap
preciate wit" in others? " Certainly Ho
could, and the proof may be found
in -the story of the Syro-Phenecian
woman who came to Him in behalf
of her daughter. "Let the children
first be filled, for It is not meet to
take the children's bread and cast
it unto the dogs," said the Master.
"Yes, Lord," replied the woman, "but
the dogs under the table eat of the
children's crumbs." That was a
witty reply coming from a keen in
tellect and a trusting heaTt, and that
Jesus appreciated it is manifest from
His reply: "For this saying go thy
way; the devil is gone out of thy
daughter." Do you recall how, in
your childhood days, you were wont
to take your doll rags and go home
because the other children would not
play what you wanted them to play?
You smile now when you recall these
days, so why think It not likely that
Jesus smiled when Ho recalled such
things? Did He recall them? Listen!
"Wherounto shall I liken this gene
ration? and to what are they like?
They are like unto children sitting
in the market-places and calling to
one another and saying, Wo have
piped unto you and we havo not
danced; we have mourned unto you
and ye have not lamented."
One more little example of Paul's
biting sarcasm: In "his Corinthian
epistle he refers tp certain teachers
who were sowing the seeds of dis
cord. Such teachers called Paul a
fool. "Receive me then as a fool,"
wrote Paul, "for ye suffer fools
gladly, seeing ye yourselves are
wise." Can you beat that for Irony?
Perhaps these few of the many
examples to be found in the Bible
may serve to convince you that the
book of books is not a harp with a
single string, but an instrument upon
which one may run the whole gamut
of human emotions. If not, the
Architect will undertake to give some
more examples at a future time. At
any rate; whenever the Architect
wants to hunt up something really
sarcastic and full of irony to hurl at
his adversaries, he rushes right off
to tho bookcase, grabs up tho well
thumbed old Biblo, and turns to Pro
verbs. Thoro Is no armor whoso
joints may not bo pierced with tho
javelines therein forged.
And thus ondoth tho first chapter.
SlgtlH
Is your first thought on arriving
homo In tho evening to get on your
slippers?
Do you wear your old shoos until
they are actually disreputable rather
than break In a now pair?
Do you allow the street car to go
by rather than run half a block?
If so, you arc growing old.
Drain Leaks
Obligations are seldom if ever
one-sided.
Singular, Isn't It, how trouble
plurallzes?
Vice has never submitted a re
quest for an eight-hour workday.
Short waits at tho depots and
long weights at tho grocery suits us.
Some people would rather believe
an Idlo rumor than a demonstrated
truth.
The chief trouble about wild oats
is that there is never a market for
tho crdp.
A lot of peoplo manufacture
crosses to bear in order to excite
sympathy.
What we need and what wo want
often marks tho difference between
lifo's extremes.
Wouldn't the churches bo lone
some places if they wore equipped
with circus seats?
Tho man who "lives among his
books" Is not necessarily a well read
man. It depends upon tho books.
Patches on tho knees are no more
signs of a praying Christian than
patches elsewhere are signs of in
dolenco. Wo often wonder what tho doctors
cured us of before the discovered
that pesky little appendix vormi
formis. A lot of men who are quick to
note a split infinitive are awfully
slow to note a fractured code of
morals.
We still insist that there Is con
siderable difference between "re
spect for courts" and. "respect for
judges."
Most of us can readily give a dozen
reasons for not doing something that
should be done; the one reason for
doing it Is that it should be done.
The "has been" Is entitled to
respectful consideration; tho "never
wasser" is an object of contempt;
the "isser" is the man tho world
looks upon with admiration.
JESUS, THE CARPENTER
If I could hold within my hand
The hammer Jesus swung,
Not all the gold in all tho land
Nor jewels countless as tho sand,
All In the balance flung,
Could weigh tho value of that thing
'Round which his fingers once did
cling.
If I could have the table ho
Once made in Nazareth,
Not all the pearls In all the sea,
Nor crowns of kings or kings to bo
As long as men have breath,'
Could buy that thing of wood ho
made
The lord of Lords who learned a
trade.
Yea, but his hammer still is shown
By honost hands that toil,
And 'round his table men sit down,
And all are equals, with a crown
No gold nor pearls can soil;
The shop at Nazareth waB bare
But Brotherhood was builded there.
Charles M; Sheldon in Tho In
dependent, .
5
o
Per day easy tr
$30t.$5Qaweek
Wo trutt you ntaoluUdr.
Just show our Ills Outfit
of Sarnplenftnd Color Plates of latcetbeao- iljhi: tttfT
Uful styles. Kvenrthlnsr ncntlt rvrt$$ Pr l
PW. Your friend will crab nt this chance Jit for you.
-- " . f: ti . i :-.!. .
to cot our ncricct nana tauoroa maoe-io- L.reryuuaK in
mcnxuroswcllcstnuiU. pant or overcoat. fTOCC T
rniUL. viu
TJinv'll cava LI to 15. Hulls Mun. lilrarst
profit onct conflucntial special Inside whole-
eanilal nttdtil.
sure. Dorrt mi
way to each urr
Wo help nnd show you.
most monsy
aalo price to you. Ft,worHmanhlpnnu lllllrlt
material Guaranteed Inr IJond. Flncat In U I I
Amcrlca for ntylo, looks and wear. Undersell all ethers.
SEW NO MONEY 9XSZ!rfi
It, Wo want you. Wo back ono man this?
rltory. Get In quick. No riak. Wo liclp i
Chanco of lifo to jz"t lcst clothm. mako
Keen it to yourself! Hurry postal loda
Great Centra! Tailori Co. I'SSSSTJSt
1 1
The Guaranty
State Bank,
Muskogee, Oklahoma,
offers to tuolrcu'lunuTK nnd wulnrii of this paper
throughout tho country exceptional rucllltlc for
liandllim nccounlfl by mall. Tho DoooilioraOtmr
nnty Fund oftfio mUito of Oklahoma liuiiir(jinIwwiluU
safety of all fiinda dnposlUsd with wu Wo holfovo
In tho Integrity nnd conmrvntlflm of our ouicora,
butyounro not coin polled to rolyonthUt. What
protection do you get from your homo bank? Wrlto
for booklot to-dny. I iitcrcxt paid ou Tiuio Deposit
and HnvlriKH Account.
M. U. 1IABKKLL, Vlco President.
M. O. BULLS. Cmltler.
ftllflCEIIft ,s oaHlly grown, worth f
U I fl Ei II IX por pound. 1100 worth 0
can bo grown on ono nquaro rod, TJili la no got
rich-quick rchctno but n Ingltlmnto Industry of
which you would ho proud. Let mo how you
what otherx nro dolntr. Kootn nnd coed for aale.
Wrlto today for frco book and information. Addrcm
T.J. Stout, C83, Edinburg, Ind
! !! II. IHIM. ! I Ml. I IIP
y rF 7P TV rIT Q SECUICED OK FEB
Frco report m o Patentability Illtittritod lull.
Wook. and Lfjit of Invention wanted, ontfreo.
VICTOK J. EVAN.S Si CO., Washington. D.C.
PATENTS
Watisa V., Coleman
Patent Lawycr.Wn-IilnRton,
D.C. Ad vice nnd booka free.
llntca reasonable. lilcheot ref ercnoea. Bmnervlcea,
Wrlto Today for I'JtKK PAMPHLET and
prlcca on nnclyrrotiml Jioiife itovh, tha
chcapoat nnd lMt of nil phoxphnto fertilizers.
W, J. KM1IKY Si CO., Columbia, Tnn.
ECZEMA
CAN IIH CURI3D. My mild, soothing,
guaranteed euro does it nnd FREES
HAMPLIJ proves it. STOPS THID ITCH
ING and cures to stay. WRITE NOW
TODAY. lilt. CANNADAY, 174 Park
Square, SciIhIIr, Mo.
It Is the best policy holder's com
pany in tho United States.
ASSETS, $4,500,000
Twenty-flvo years old. Write
The Old Line Bankers Life
Lincoln, Nebraska
FOR
you
ARMYjlik
i ciM 0 i mm
fi Wk
-ceSSflK off mWfMF'
iWI Mi
HEKE is a chance, boys, to (ret a flno tint and "canip
out." Many hours of enjoyment will be yonra if
yon take adrantatro of onr liberal offer, -for the
tent la well made, and la simple and easy to place in
position. It ia a typical Indian Wljrwam and is de
signed In style similar to those used in the United
Btates army. It is mado from an ercellent quality of
tentinr, seven feet blirh and measures 6zS feet at tno
base. Write today and I will tell yon bow you can
cet tbls tent for a little easy work.
A. M. PIPER, 731 Popular Mag, Bm Mobts, lews
. 'v.
