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The Commoner.
13
MAKCH 24, 1811
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Tho Ago Old Problem
When tho Architect's friend, tho
crippled man with a family of eight,
propounded his problem of how to
Bupply the wants of his family, he
seems to have sprung a big problem.
The Architect judges by the letters
that have come pouring in. One of
the most interesting is from Mrs.
Jennie Sampson of Peoria, 111., who
says:
"Mr. Barnes' answer to your ques
tion of February 17, still leaving you
up a stump, I should like to submit
the famous advice once given by
Emma Goldman to the striking
cloakmakers at Union Square, New
York, some years ago: 'Ask for
work. If they do not give you work,
ask for bread. If they give you
neither work nor bread, then take
bread.' Of course we could not ex
pect your friend with his family of
eight to be' a modern Jean Valjean,
but if in company with the other
three millions of men out of em
ployment he should assist in such
a procedure, there would be 'some
thing doing' in the bread line. It
also occurs to me that a working
man need not necessarily take time
to study social democracy. If some
of the principles aTe not already
grafted onto him by experience, I
fear he is hopelessly in the mire of
ignorance."
Somehow or other the Architect is
reminded of a story. Once upon a
time an aged colored preacher was
espounding tho story of the creation.
"Den God made Adam out'n do dust
o' de 'arth, an' den He stuck him
up erg'inst de fence f'r t' dry," said
the minister. "Look hyar, pbason,"
interrupted a brother in the pew.
"Who made dat fence?" Casting
a look of withering scorn upon the
pewholder, the minister exclaimed:
"It's jus' sich fool questions as dat
w'ot am upsottin' all de t'eology we
got." Senator Gore of Oklahoma is
wont to say: "Wherever there are
those who are getting without giv
ing, there are those giving without
getting." Some of these days, doubt
less, and in God's good time, the
producer will get what he produces,
and those who produce nothing will
have to be the sufferers. It's the
other way 'round now, at least to
too great an extent. It will take
time" and thought and study.
But, in the meantime, WHAT IS
TO BECOME OF MY CRIPPLED
FRIEND AND HIS FAMILY OF
EIGHT?
They can not eat treatises on
social democracy, nor ward off the
chilling winds with theories of
government.
The Architect Is still up that same
old stump.
ter our blood thickened up and bo
came impuro, and there's nothing
llko sassafras tea to thin and purify
tho blood. At least our mothers
thought so.
And if we didn't havo to drink that
vile decoction wo had to take pul
verized sulphur and cream tartar
mixed about equal parts. A table
spoonful at a dose, too. Not ono of
your dinkey little modern table
spoons, either. Ono of those old
fashioned tablespoons about as big
as a soup ladle. Had to take it dry,
too. And the beastly stuff clogged
in tho roof of one's mouth and stuck
there like beggar-lico to wooly
trousers. Waugh! We can taste
it yet.
We had lots of fun in our primi
tive way thirty or forty years ago,
when we were boys and girls fun
that our children know nothing
about save from hearsay. But, thank
goodness, we don't dose our children
with sassafras tea or sulphur and
cream tartar every spring.
about not assuming too much pon
derosity in dealing with Japan that
is to say, a little less ferocity and
moro philosophy would suit us all
quito woll.
Mary Again
"What makes tho lamb lovo Mary
so?"
The kids interrogated.
"Because the fleeco by tariff laws
Has been so well inflated."
Our Luck
" 'It's a long lano that has no ond
lng,' " remarked tho gentleman who
loves quotations.
"Just my luck to always bo turn
ing into blind alleys," muttered tho
practical man.
All Willing
"I have just returned from a visit
to Mexico," remarked the passenger
who sat next" to the window, "and
I attended a bull fight. I am now
advocating that Uncle Sam annex
Mexico and thus put a stop to such
brutality."
"I'm with you there," exclaimed
the passenger fronting him.
"And me, tool" shouted the man
across tho aisle.
The discussion of the brutality of
the bull fight interested me so I
finally asked the passenger next to
the window what business he was
engaged in.
"I am the manager of 'Kid Pug-
gley,' the champion welterweight of
the United States," was the proud
reply.
"And your business?" I Inquired
of the man fronting him.
"Who, me? Why, I own the
fastest greyhounds in America and
I am taking them to a coursing meet
out west, where I expect to trip all
the jackrabbits they can enter into
the lists."
"And you, sir?" I asked of the
man across the aisle.
"My name is William John
Sweatem, sir. Perhaps you have
heard of the Sweatem Cloak and
Suit Co."
I had, indeed, and recalled .jthat
only last fall Sweatem & Co's. 3,000
girl employes had struck against a
ten-hour day and an average wage
scale of $3.13 a week.
Pondering thereon, I recalled the
old Chinese adage: "Let every one
sweep his own doorstep, and worry
not himself about the frost on his
neighbor's tiles."
Saintly
"Mrs. Penheck is always trying to
make out that her husband is such
a superior man."
"Well, ho is in somo respects."
"What makes you think so?"
"Because, the other night ho but
toned the 127 buttons on tho back
of her waist, and when ho got to tho
last one ho discovered ho was short
a button holo for it."
"Woll?"
"Well, ho unbuttoned them again
and got it right the next time, and
he never said a word ho merely
laughed as if It wero a good joke
on him."
DONT PAY TWO PRICES-f
FOR STOVES A RANGES
If oa Btb tltJOO to tSBLM oa
Hoosier
Ranges
Heaters
nwvi4 finviti Attt vttltffl
70a can bay thorn at each loir.
unncaru-oi racwrr mew.
IIooslorBtaves and Kuitcfl nro
doUTorod for you to no In your
yon buy. A written tciiaranteo with men etoTo
bAckod by a Million Dofiaro. Oar now 1911 Improve
monta on pIoym absolutely Btirpe anything are
produced. Sand postal today for fraaeataloc.
101 HOOSIER STOVE FACTORY,
Stale Street. Mnriow, ImBanw
" 1 YwHHHHhVH I
M jiooflleV flleel
A Great Reform
The children of today ought to be
happy because of one great reform
that has been wrought since we
gray-haired people were boys and
girls. Nowadays the children do not
have to drink sassafras tea or take
sulphur and cream tartar In the
spring to "thin their blood."
We cannot pass a drug store win
dow where sassafras bark is on dis
play without shuddering. And every
time we smell sulphur wo almost
throw a fit.
Remember, old-timers, how we,
when children, had to dope ourselves
with sassafras" tea every spring
three times day and keep It up
until our blood -was so thin we'd
bleed at the nose when we sneezed?
The theory was that during the win-
Proof Positive
He declared that advertising
didn't pay, because everybody knew
him.
Later the sheriff demonstrated
that advertising did pay, for ho sold
more in one day than the merchant
had sold In three years.
Yet comparatively few people
knew the sheriff.
What!
Uncle Sam Is worried about reci
procity on the north, about animosity
on tho south, and curiosity Japan
ward. By treating with Canada with
more generosity, and not exercising
so much velocity in mixing up with
that Mexican affair, to say nothing
Sarcastic
"And do you think you can sup
port my daughter in the style she
has been accustomed to, young
man?" growled Mr. Doughinpay.
"Not if I pay cash," replied Mr.
Prompt, who happened to have been
a bill collector in former days.
Seven Million Acres
of Public IiMiid wcro entered in Mon
tana last year, nearly twice as much
as In any other state. "VVhcro homc
scckers are settling theso figures
prove. Why they chooso Montana over
all competitors is because thoy find
there an abundance of land of un
equalled fertility, virgin soil which
will ylold unsurpassed crops when cul
tivated, a homo market, good transpor
tation facilities, a healthy climate,
schools and churches. Millions of fcr
tilo acres, to bo acquired as freo homo
stcads or bought at a low price, aro
waiting for the plow. For further In
formation, write to J. II. HALL, Com
mlHfiloner State Ilurcau of Agriculture,
Helena, BIontHHH.
Brain Tweaks
Worry is not work.
Prayer is not a method of making
a demand.
An error Is partly atoned for If
profited by.
A great many men mlstako no
toriety for fame.
Christianity Is living. Religion
may bo mere conversation.
Servility may be purchased with
money, but friendship never.
A life of sin is not wholly atoned
for by one minute of repentenco.
Man is the only animal that seeks
to profit from the labor of his young.
Love ' is still going along when
mere friendship has turned up a side
street.
The meanest thief in the world is
the one who robs children of their
childhood.
We have to learn to like somo
people just as we had to learn t
like olives.
Somo people think they have re
pented when they are merely afrai
to do it again.
The bill of fare may bo in French,
but that doesn't add anything to the
taste of the ham and cabbage.
We always know a man lived, if,
after death, it is truthfully said of
him: "Tho children loved him."
People who waste time discussing
what hell is never experience the
pleasure of thinking about the joys
of heaven.
Tho boss owes the employe some
thing more than money, and the em
ploye owes the boss something more
than work.
When people complain of ennui
they merely confess that they are
tired of resting and are too lazy to
do anything.
It's hard to sit still and think
when the home team is practicing
a block away and getting ready to
open tho eason.
Just about the time you think you
are the foremost man in the com
munity, along comes an old settler
and asks if you havo lived here long.
Am&SEI
ARcntH wanted In every county to noil Novelty
Knives. Itazor Htcel ltladca, Unbrcaknblo Tranp&
rent Handle which Bhow namo, addrcen, photos,
lodRO and society emblems, etc. Let ua show you
how to be Independent. Bit: Commission. Quick
Hales. Write at onco for exclusive torrltory.
NOVELTY CUTLERY CO,, 66 Bar St., Canton, 0.
virmsn wsr stkoncest
F EmmmMmm made. uuii.
m Immm " " Btront? chicle-
on-tight Sold to thouiwr at Hholeial
rrleff. YT Py Freight. Cataloffuofroo.
COILED SPKINQ FENCE CO.,
x 234 wincDMur, mauna.
"Banking Made Safe."
Tried by a threo million dollar fail
ure in which the depositors lost not
ono cent, and sustained by tho supreme
court of tho United States, tho Okla
homa state banks stand unrivalled for
security among financial institutions.
On tho basis of absolute safety we ask
?rour patronage. Satisfied depositors
n every stato of tho Union attest our
ability to handle your account right.
Interest paid on Time Deposits and
Savings Accounts.
GUARANTY STATE BANK,
Muskogee, Oklahoma.
M. 0. Haskell, Vice President.
M. C Sells, Cashier,
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