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DECEMBER 23, 194.0
The Commoner.
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A Newspaper Man's Christinas
A number of years ago, while I
was doing specialty work on a daily
newspaper in a western metropolis,
I seized a hint thrown out by my
managing editor, which hint resulted
in one of the most unique Christmas
celebrations I ever experienced.
The managing editor who, by the
way, happens also to be my manag
ing editor at this timecalled mo in
for the purpose of outlining some
special Christmas story, and we fell
into a desultory conversation about
the peculiarities of people in general.
- 'I hold to the opinion," said the
M. B., "that the reason why there
is so much individual suffering
among the poor the reason why
there are suffering poor is because
so many well-to-do people cannot feel
the call of individuals; that they
know humanity only in the aggre
, gate and therefore do not feel called
upon to lend a hand."
This struck me as being an un
founded assumption, for I then held
to the opinion that the average well-
io-qo man was rather selfish, and
excused his lack of charity on the
ground that because he couldn't do
enough to make even a faint impres
sion on poverfy, therefore it was not
worth while for him to do anything.
- "You're wrong," said the M. E.
positively. "A general plea for all
the poor meets with little response,
for the reason that those able to give
know nothing of the people in need.
' If specific cases are brought to their
attention, average men, rich or poor,
are willing to help the rich to give
liberally, and the poor to divide with
those less fortunate than themselves."
I combattad this assertion, holding
firmly to my opinion that the ayer
age man of wealth would turn the
cold shoulder to any unfortunate who
struck him for help.
"Well, let's test the matter," said
the M. E.
"How?" asked I.
"This way," replied the M. E.
"You dress up like a down-and-outer,
frame up a hard luck story, and on
Christmas day make the rounds of
a dozen or so homes of the city's
best known men and ask them for
help. Then write up your exper
iences for the Sunday paper."
That was the hint thrown out to
me, which hint gave me an experi
ence that will always be a pleasant
memory, but which changed my mind
about some things.
With the aid of an actor friend of
mine who attended to the "make
up" part of the game, I was able to
start out shortly after noon of
Christmas day, looking like a man
who had never a friend, was as
hungry as a fellow could be, and
the victim of the toughest luck imag
inable. I had a hard luck story cal
culated to touch the stoniest heart,
and I had practiced on it till I could
reel it off like a book agent telling
his story of the "Life of Napoleon"
in fifty-seven installments, a-dollar-down-and-a-dollar-a-week-until-paid-
for.
The first home I struck was that
of a lawyer who had a reputation for
being cold Blooded, aristocratic and
(selfish. I knocked at the side door
and inquired for tfie gentleman of
the house, and managed to persuade
a. rather supercilious servant that I
really had to see him. When Mr.
"VV appeared he had evidently Just
ariien from a bountifully laden table.
He invited me inside, and then I
sprung my hard luck tale. Before I
was well started M. W asked:
"Have you had any dinner?"
"No, sir;" I replied. "But I didn't
come to ask for a dinner. I want
work."
Well, you come in and we'll see
If we can't find a bite or two to eat,
and while you are eating we'll talk
your caso over."
Truly, friends, Mr. W took mo
into the dining room and had the
servant bring me turkey and cran
berry sauce, and all the "ChrlBtmnR
fixin's" that a wealthy man usually
has, and between urgings to have
more, Mr. W got the rest of my
story.
"Well, you aTe in pretty hard
luck," he said, when I had finished.
I haven't anything for you to do
right now, but I think I can fix that
in a day or too. You come to my
office tomorrow morning at 10:30
and I'll send you to a place whero
I think you can catch on. Of course
you'll have to eat between now and
then, and also have a placo to sleep,
so here's a dollar. Now you bo sure
and come un tomorrow."
I next worked my little game on
"Uncle Bill" P , and one of the
hardest things I ever tackled was
the job of acting like a hungry man
when "Uncle Bill" had his servant
girl load up a lot of dishes with
edibles and place them before me.
He not only fed me, but he gave me
50 cents for a bed and breakfast, and
a little note to tho boss in a whole
sale house ho was interested in-downing,
I think, about three-thirds
of it telling him to put me to work
in the shipping department right
away.
Prom "Uncle Bill's" I went to tho
home of General M , and despite
the fact I usually met him three or
four times a week, ho didn't recog
nize me in my poverty-stricken at
tire. He had a servant tako me and
feed me, and although I was even
then containing two big Christmas
dinners I had to choke down some
more and act like a hungry man
while doing it. I didn't want that
watchful girl slipping out and tip
ping it off to the General that I was
a suspicious character and likely to
swipe the spoons. At the end of my
third dinner for the day I was sent
to the General's study, and we had
a heart-to-heart talk. I told him I
was sure I could get work at Minden,
a town a couple of hundred miles
wSst, and proved that I knew the
town by mentioning several people
well known to my host.
As a result of that conference I
went away richer by one dinner, one
dollar, and a note to the manager
of a big railway corporation request
ing that I be given transportation to
Minden.
I might have continued tho ex
periment longer, but I balked at try
ing to eat the fourth Christmas din
ner In one day. But I- had learned
a lot. I had learned that the world's
great heart is warm, and that men
need only to have their attention
called to human suffering to do their
part in relieving it. The trouble Is,
men are so busy that they have no
time to hunt up specific cases of dis
tress, and humanity In the aggregate
Is rather beyond their range of
vision.
The next day after my experiment
I called on my three unwitting hosts
and surprised them by a rather inti
mate knowledge of what had trans
pired between them and a . certain
ragged guest each had entertained
so handsomely th day before. Mr.
rl. "d, Goneral M seemed to
mil Si ?.nJ?ymy !ltUo Jokc' ad
mitted that they had profited by tho
experience. But "Undo Bill" P
after removing his beloved cob pipo
wU. Mll, II1UUU1 anu jooKing at me
intently for a moment, said:
I'm goin' t' watch you, younc
man. A follow that can play as
suck a confidence gamo as you played
.n fmt, ls "Pt to got it Into his head
that It s a mighty easy way of makhi'
a good livin'."
But tho twinklo in "Uncle Bill's"
kindly gray eyes rather belied tho
sternness of his remark.
A few years later, when tho awful
panic of the early 90'a hrntictit m
much of misery and woo to the poor,
tho paper which printed my Christ
mas day experience opened a relief
bureau in that city. It was my good
fortuno to bo activo in Its manage
ment, and during Uiobo thron mnniii
of human suffering I learned that the
three men mentioned, above were
among $o most charitablo of all the
men in that big city. Wo had a
standing order from Mr. W for all
tho fresh meat wo needed; General
M could be depended upon to come
across when tho coal supply ran
short, and "Uncle Bill' dropped In
every morning, and after gently
swearing around awhilo would tell us
to go to such and such a placo and
get five hundred or a thousand loaves
of bread anyhow, as much bb we
needed.
Yes, there is much of human suf
fering today and always will be,
perhaps. But the great heart of hu
manity is easily touched if one but
knows how to reach tho tonder spot.
O, yes! I returned the money to
Mr. W and "Uncle Bill," and I
still have the order for that trans
portation to Minden. It Is useless
now, save as a momento, for tho
anti-pass laws of Nebraska mako it
a- crime to ask for, -givo or accept
freo transportation.
"fwo Hundred QetroHtrt
Drive
Warning
"Reginald, I saw tho dearest pony
coat at Jimplecute & Squlmley's to
day, and it was marked down
from "
"I know my dear, and if I can raise
tho money I'll certainly "
"That's all right, Reggie; but that
coat will not be there long and I
want your answer without any weasel
words."
CHARGE OP THE BARGAIN
BRIGADE
(In commemoration of a recent open
ing.) Half an inch, half an inch,
Half an Inch onward
Into tho bargain rush,
Shoved tho nine hundred.
"Punch up the Willow Plume"
"Say can't you make moro room?"
"We want to get inside,"
Cried the nine hundred.
Ten cents the most they paid,
Was there a one dismayed?
Not though they saw and know
Several had fainted.
Theirs not to stop the quest!
Theirs not to mind arrest
Theirs but to hunt with zest,
Bargains, fright painted.
Hatpins to right of them
Hatpins to left of them
Stiff quills in front of them
Jabbed, poked, and mangled
Yelled at by mad police,
Still, do you think they'd cease?
Not though torn piece by piece,
Bruised, maimed, and strangled.
Oh, wondrous bargain raid!
Oh, the wild dash they made!
For pans and glory
'Ray for tho fight they made,
Five and ten cent brigade!
Victors, though gory.
Minneapolis Tribune,
CO YOU?
In the automobile center of
the country where people
are better informed on
motor car value than in any
other place in the world .
there are over 200 Detroit
Electrics in daily use.
The Detroit Electric Iioh modo Kood
at home becauxe It l inndo good at
home.
For 1911 Detroit Electric-Edison
System of motor and battery or lead
batteries. Special Electrical Cushion
or Pneumatic Tires, " Chalnlcas" Di
rect Shaft Drive or Double and Tan
dem silent enclosed chain drives 10
models.
Anderson Carriage Gompaiy
DETROIT.
I M. SAiEL & SONS, iKSE!
Trappers and Fur Shipper
Our prlco 111 Is rawly and can bo liadfor
tho nslclntr. Also our "Tropiwrs Uulde," which
contains "100 Ways and Mean" of trapping
fur bcnrlnir animal. We pay highest markftt
price for I lira. For further Information mo our
prlco lint. WrJto today to
ABROHAMS FUR I WOOL CO.
FurMerokanU Seymour, Wis.
fpjgiu Fur l will pay all express and hljch-
et market price for fur from all soe
Uona; tend for prices and tact; niy return. will
pleaso you. Joi. MoClamreeh, Mockavllle, N. a
PATENTS
WstaB V.. Coleman,
Patent Lawyer.Washlnglos,
lie A 4w (a4 m nf (kLAka fw
Bates reasonable, nichest references. Iiestaenrtcea.
Pi7ic NoFm until allowed. Froo Bootes
ruitzms mix ntur.u, w.u.ffu, u. c
PATENTS m&ri&8$l"a
Free report m to Patentability. Illustrated fluid
Hook, and I.Lit of Inventions Wanted, cnt frea,
VICTOIt J. EVAN.S & CO., Washington. D.O
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