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The Commoner.
OCTOBER 21, 1910
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Mother's Work
Mother hasn't much to do
.To keep from growing lonely;
Simply lives the long day through
At little duties- only.
Gets a breakfast just for eight,
.While for sleep she wishes;
Two for school must not bo late
Then she does the dishes.
Then she sweeps the sitting room,
Dining room and stairway; .
"Wields a -dustrag and a broom
Till things shine in fair way.
Then she has to dress the three
Small kids who've been sleeping
"Dick" and Charlotte, Marjorie
Then more dusting, sweeping.
Then she combs three tousled heads
And washes three bright faces;
Makes a half dozen beds;
Puts things in their places.
Then the lunch for thqse from school ;
Then the chores forgotten;
Then her needle and a spool
Of stout darning cotton.
Dinner dishes washed and dried,
Then the porches mopping;
Several patches well applied,
Then a bit of shopping.
. Hungry eight to feed at night
That's the regular number
Coffee, sausage, biscuits light
Then the "kids" to slumber.
Then, the supper dishes done,
Her easy day is ended,
Save she sees that one by one
All the clothes are mended.
Sews the missing buttons back,
Mends ihe little dresses;
Wipes- out every muddy track
TJiat her sight distresses.
Gets the kitchen all "O. K."
For the early morning;
Winds the clock so it will say
Loud its early warning.
Then, if nothing else to do,
Upstairs she'll go creeping
Just to waste an hour or two
In not needed sleeping.
Mother hasn't much to do
That's how people view it
Little work the whole day through,
Eighteen hours to do it.
But pa he has to work like sin
In his important station.
Eight hours then he is all in,
And tired as creation!
the cause of this is because he weighs
about 275 pounds and is all man; and
another reason is, that anyone that
ever heard him tell a story in that
melodious Irish brogue could not
havo a heart so hard as to throw him
off a train. With Riley on this trip
was a Cornishman, and in western
parlance known as Cousin Jack, and
there are among the Cousin Jacks
some of the .most comical people on
earth, and it was one of these good
comical fellows that was Barney's
companion on the trip. Barney and
the Cousin Jack were endeavoring to
reach a mining camp and were "beat
ing" their way and were ditched at a
water tank, and this was their ex
perience with tho section house lady,
Barney being the spokesman: "Good
morning, my good lady, we are two
hard-working miners trying to get
up to Globe to gej a job, and down
tho road about twenty miles those
cruel trainmen ditched us at a water
tank and as you can see that I am
a heavy man, and me shoes most
worn out an' full of tacks and I am
most starved, would you bo so kind
to give ub a little bite to eat?" Tho
lady replied: "I haven't anything
cooked up, the dishes are all dirty
and I haven't much timo to cook an
extra meal as I havo lots of work to
do." Barney replied: "Never mind
the dirty dishes; can't you cook us a
little mush?" Whereupon the lady
replied: "Oh, yes, I guess so."
When the bowl of mush was
placed on the table, the lady
placed a fork and a spoon down for
them to use. Barney grabbed the
spoon and the Cousin Jack got the
fork. Barney began scoopirig that
mush down for further orders; mean
while the Cousin Jack was doing the
best he could with that thin mush,
so after moBt of the porridge had
gone into Barney's maw the Cousin
Jack became alarmed and cried:
"Barney, Barney, damme old son,
thee pick awhile and let me shovel."
R. J. WILLIAMS.
From a Far-Away Friend
Los Angeles, Cal., September 9.
I have read your page, "Whether
Common or Not," with a great deal
of pleasure, and its, or your page, as
I call it, never has been missed since
you havo been connected with Tho
Commoner. In the recent issues of
The Commoner you ask subscribers
and readers to send in the funniest
story they ever heard. In sending
in a story a great deal depends upon
Che's profession, and having been
connected with the mining business
all my Jife, the following story, I
think, js about, as funny as any I ever
heard, but before telling the story
will say that the principal of this
story, whose name is Barney Riley,
is an intimate friend of mine, and
the best known character In the en
tire west, and is commonly known as
the "Pilgrim," or the "wandering
Irishman," and in his wanderings
from place to place he has never
been known to pay a railroad a cent
for carrying him and, furthermore,
the present instance mentioned in
this story is the only time, I think,
that' he was ever ditched In his life
Information Wanted
"Mary," remarked the young
woman's father, "that young Stick
ley has been coming hero three
nights a week for two years."
"Yes, papa."'
"Burning gas and fuel in the
winter?"
"Yes, papa,"
"Well, daughter, I think it's high
time you ascertained whether young
Stickley is a standpatter or a progressive."
ouflly refuses to sit at tablo with
Loriraor.
How about his promises?
Ho promised to bolt tho candidato
if Blaino woro nominated in 1884,
and then went back on tho promise
given to Georgq William Curtis and
others.
And his patriotism?
He sworo off his taxes in New
York on tho ground of non-citizenship,
and then becamo governor of
New York within tho samo year
an office to which only citizens of
that state are eligible.
Tariff Prices
"What effect upon, prices does the
taTiff have, in your estimation, sen
ator?" "Well," replied Senator Graball,
"while I believe that the tariff has
not been the cause of any increase
in the price of foodstuffs, I am com
pelled to admit that since I voted for
it I find the cost of being re-elected
has very materially advanced."
Consistency
Is he a progressive?
Well, he fought the standpatters'
candidates in New York and then
swallowed their platform with every
evidence of satisfaction?
And between times ho boosts for
a Lodge in Massachusetts, but re
frains from boosting for a LaFollette
in Wisconsin.
Is he a Puritan?
Well, between dinners with. Gug
genheim and "Boss" Cox ho Virtu-
Short Ann Jabs
When tho strenuous one was up
in the air nt St. Louis ho certainly
was in his clement.
After reversing tho supremo court
a couplo of times, Mr. RoosoveR
should now pause long enough to
warn tho common folk against do
ing anything to decrease rospect for
tho courts.
The report that certain sections
of the earth aro slipping may bo set
down as a fake. Tho movement is
doubtless duo to tho pull exercised
by Guggenheim, Rockefeller, et al.
A candidate for mayor of Vine
land, N. J is conducting his cam
paign from the city jail. This is
not, however, tho only candidato
who should bo occunvinc slmilRr
headquarters.
After quietly submitting to hav
ing him select their presidential can
didate wo fail to seo wherein Now
York republicans havo any kick
coming on Mr. Roosevelt's selection
of a republican candidato for gov
ernor. Wo gather from newspaner re
ports that 'Senator Leo Brown of
Illinois is one of those excellent and
too numerous gentlemen eager to
sacrifico party for an ideal and a
consideration.
Tama Jim Wilson has been In the'
cabinet for thirteen years. Is it pos
sible that Richard Achilles Ballinger
has an ambition to equal that
record?
Ilruin Leaks
People who growl at long sermons
are usually most in need of them.
Some, people excuse a lot of little
bad habits on the ground that they
havo no really big bad habits.
Even the confirmed smoker finds
difficulty in determining at night
whether his pipe is lit or not, ,
Tho Difference
" 'There's just as good fish in the
sea as ever were caught,' " remarked
the boarder much given to quota
tions. "True, but the bait is. much "harder
to secure than formerly," retorted
tho quiet boarder who usually said
something when he spoke.
Ono in Its Favor
"There's one good thing to be said
about tho 'hobble skirt.' "
"For goodness sake, what Is It?"
"When the wearer is limping
along ono is unablo to say whether
tho limp is caused by the hobblo or
by tight shoes."
Description Needed
Gentleman, entering swell restau
rant "Can you tell me if my wife is
among the ladies present?"
Head Waiter "Merry Widow,
Waste Basket, Coal Scuttle or
Toque?"
Reminiscent
The melancholy day has come,
And brought its chilly night;
I lay me down when day Is done
To dream of anthracite.
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RmI tftf EvMne f KhH-aMMtyt
In IMO, Mr. M. 1. Hardin, of Branford, Conn., Mn
led bU tUr lt)i pino hint), tialllojc I hem whh lee
CuaWd Iron Cut Nail. In July 18W, Jurt ynn UUr,
no rmiingiai. me nam vert rrr mwt run u on int
day Utay war driven, although tit tout (tend wHliln
three-4jui1frf of mile of tho Hubert. Tit cut tbovi
Mini of tn nana,
W maka the tama nalla today we made then.
ttllY rCT lO.YtUR KAIWI IN iS.YRAR flMIXfiClftf
Wrlla to uf forJUmplaa and I'rkaa.
MAiLEARE MM FITT1MS CI, tawfctf, Of.
Doubly Your Hay Fro fit I
Cat Down Cast of B&llnet
Bat 8 tont orary poor with tfca mlffhtlawC
double-efficiency hay prraaln the world
yaaaoM AUTO-FK!iN-almla, tttf to run only two
wan oadad coU down labor Mtoa-UWd' Tkrao
rtrofca praaa alfrd aaay draft wMpa oot nUr
aad ((FtooUif r UUi tliao any othar mm In tha wwldl
ak any man whooMmtonal Hblppad on frea trial to
raipouribla narUa. limt.VKMiN Hav him r
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JM3W, IfttfcNi., Kaaaaa CHy
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THE
GUARANTY STATE BANK
has depositors In every stato of tho
union In tho Intercuts of Hound
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We sharo our success with our
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Send for Dooklct. '
M. G. HASKELL, V. P.
MUSKOGEE, OICLA.
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Novelty Knives made, razor tteth Hlr month
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JLearti A-tictioneerhif
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