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Address all communications to THE COMMONER, Lfncoln, Neb. The great need of Emperor William, it seems, is the help of a first class explainer. This new "cohless corn" may be all right in Its place, but it has no place in the "roastin' ear" season. - -v- The Boston Herald suggests that they put crepe on the Tennessee hip pockets. Better sew them up. It is not too early to begin buying 'them now, but of course you will wait until the final rush; just like the rest of usi ' l '-' That Virginia gentleman who has just been offered the title of Scottish lord will' lose a far better title if ho accepts it. Every time he thinks of James S. Sherman, ,; Joseph. Benson Foraker sees no reason why he should lay down. ,'. It is daily becoming more and more appar ent that the republican tariff plank was adopted with immense mental reservations. Of course Mr. Taft did not have to go to Hot Springs to get into hot water. The offlce seekers would have attended to that. r Mr. Rockefeller's belated and wholly un expected How of talk simply reminds us that language vas given us to conceal our thoughts. It Is announced that a Russian grand duke has just died of pneumonia. This rather un usual fact leads the Louisville Post to believe that it should be classed as an unnatural death. Congressman Greene of Massachusetts says that "Uncle Joe" Cannon is the greatest man in this country. Of course Congressman Greene expects to land his preferred committee chair manship. " The hope of tariff reduction in the near future is based upon the thin assumption that It will be granted by a ways and means com mittee that helps the protected trusts frame ex cuses for selling abroad cheaper than at home. 'Senator Piatt should resign now," says At the widely advertised "lahr a .. the New York World. Yes, but what's that to at the White House they dine as tfcer tov Plat? AriTtr-TtVo cnffnol New York World. " '- Piatt? Milwaukee SentineL The Dutch government doesn't know where to strike Castro. He has padded all the spank ing places. Atlanta Constitution. The trouble with Root as a successor to Piatt is that he might carry out the policies of his predecessor. New York World. It will not be the democrats who will nave to issue bonds to meet the extravagant republi can government. Gate City Herald. If everybody who owes a letter would write it a considerable dent would be made in that postal. deficit. Philadelphia Ledger. "Why there should bo on law for labor and a different one for capital has not been made ; -apparent," says the Boston Herald. Perhaps not doing the one or having the other makes It difficult for that writer to understand the matter. "Missouri is still the prodigal daughter," says the Houston Post. Nay, not prodigal merely thoughtless. Kansas City Post. It is announced that Mr. Roosevelt is to be responsible for his own stuff in the Outlook. Inside the office or out? Milwaukee Sentinel. It is expected that the ginger left over from the campaign can all be used during the tariff revision proceedings. Indianapolis News. If the kaiser is the. first to go up in an airship he ought to at Ieastremember that T. R. went down in one of the earliest submarines. Chicago Post. President-elect Taft's brother, Charles P., aspires to the United States senatorship from' Ohio. Why not? He has plenty of money. Johnstown Democrat. Irrespective of party, the people expect, demand, very material reductions in many of the DIngley schedules of duties on imports. New York Commercial. "Suppose a lion should eat him on his African hunt?" asks a contemporary. The lion will have a bad case of indigestion. Charles town, W. Va., Gazette. Just what the Roosevelt expression "to a frazzle" means should be of Interest to the elephants, lions and other big game in Africa. Louisville Courier-Journal. The South will not permit Mr. Taft to achieve his ambition of dissolving the solid south In 1912, but it will dwell at peace with him. Little Rock Gazette. To the Paragraphers' union: An Illinois man got married the other day as the result of an election bet. Please don't ask whether he won or lost. New York Mail. There are several members of congress who would travel a long way to see Mr. Roose velt sitting around a magazine office in a merely advisory capacity. Washington Star. Governor Patterson says he wears pocket less trousers, and if a few of his fellow Tennes seans had adopted the same plan there might have been no tragedy in Nashville. Louisville Post. It is said that the cannibal tribe of Afri. have eaten no less than 2764 missionaries da? 1DS the last hundred years. Well, Roosevelt Is going over there now, and Africa will m h Houston Post " Some people would vote for a vellov fc? if he were on the republican ticket,"" savS the Greensburg Argus. That explains whv the country threatens to go to the bow-woVs-1 Johnstown Democrat. When the ways and means committee has its hearing on the steel products tariff schedules the Broadway chorus girls ought to be allowed ta present their arguments against reduction. Chicago Record-Herald. Unless you know all about the meaning of "tee," "fore," "brassy," "hazard," 'Scotch hi ," and so forth, you may not be able to make much headway at the White House neit year. Washington Herald. Having supplied New York with a governor and the United States with a president, Mr. Roosevelt hardly could permit the legislature of the Empire state to elect a' senator before it hears from him. Milwaukee News. Mr. Murphy does not say so right out, but in between the lines of his interviews may be discerned a suspicion that he was buncoed when he traded Bryan for Chanler and lost both. Salt Lake Herald. As we understand Mr. Roosevelt, he doesn't give a hoot who owns the magazine, provided the little brown pay envelope is found waiting for him at the cashier's desk every Saturday evening. Richmond Times. England is pleased with the election of Mr. Taft. If the president-elect were Mr. Bryan, and England showed any pleasure at his election, the republican organs would .froth at the mouth. Harrisburg Star-Independent. The manufacturing concerns are not the only ones that have increased their working hours. Some of the rest of us have had to, too, in order to keep up with the grocer's re stored confidence. Indianapolis News. But Mr. Bryan is not disliked by the people of the country. They admire him and we feel that his place in our history is secure. He is a man of noble character and we do not be lieve he will be soured by the failure of his countrymen to place him in the presidency. Knoxville Sentinel. Having sucked several hundred millions out of the teats of protection, Sandy Carnegie now declares in favor of a tariff for revenue, only, with high duties only on luxuries. We suppose his desire for a low tariff was the in ducement he had for chipping into the cam paign fund for the success of the party whose cardinal faith is protection. This is a funny world, anyhow. Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. We gather from the current issue of the Commoner the impression that there is going to be an almighty fine crop of alfalfa raised near Lincoln, Neb., pretty soon, anyhow. Washington Herald. President Roosevelt's last annual message to the congress is well under way. It will be largely devoted to laudation of the righteous ness ? -tno Roosvelt administration. Harris- uurg ocar-inaepenuent. It was said of the late Senator Allison that he would walk across the keyboard of a piano or a crinkly tin roof without making a sound. Pshaw, that may be nothing to the pussy footedness with which the friendly tariff revisionists may negotiate that proposition. The ear drum of the most sensitive business inter est may not record a vibration. Wall Street Journal. i '?? .Francisco must feel relieved to, find that the job of punishing Attorney Honey's as sailant will not have to be put up to a San Francisco court and a San-Francisco jury, sub- jc?ict io'ZRVQ1 to the California supreme-court. Sioux City Journal. - Did the American people deserve a lecture from Theodore Roosevelt on the ethics of relig ious intolerance after voting for Taft despite the prejudices he condemns? There is notliiijs new in the lecture. Why didn't Cardiual GiR bons have the nerve to tell him that all this naa been better -said many times before? Having discovered the Ten Commandments many tunes, us he still on a voyage of discovery as he staiw for Africa? Florida Times-Union. .jftl.V'lL..