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The Commoner,
'ATJ'GUST 21, 1908
13
er n HHHi or j
mMej
Tho Worker's Opportunity
JTako off your overalls, my boys, and
join with me in making noise.
Lift up your voices loud and shrill
until the country feels the thrill.
-; Parade the streets and all enthuse
like union men who pay tbeir
dues. Hurrah for Taft for 'tis a
fact he's told us just how we may
act.
Hurrah for Taft! He says we may
pile up strike funds like ricks of
hay. He says we may accumulate
the stuff that always pays the
freight. But after wo have got
the dough a judge says, "Boys,
you must go slow! You've got
the money here's a writ; you'll
go to jail for spending it."
Hurrah for Taft! He says we can
withdraw support from any man
who hands us lemons big and sour
. from day to day, from hour to
hour. But nf tor we withdraw sup
port we'll all be haled before the
court and given such a dose of
jail that will each dust-grimed
visage pale.
Hurrah for Taft! He now declares
that rich and poor have equal
shares in justice when the law is
. dealt and all its benefits are felt.
But when the worker, in despair,
goes on a' strike to get hid share,
injunctions come in perfect gale,
nfliqlC the striker goes to jail.
Hurrah for Taft! In jail or out lift
up your voice in lusty shout!
There's no injunction issued yet
'gainst shouts for Taft nor won't,
you bet! You all may organize
" and pay your union dues from day
to day. But If you try much more
to do "Contempt of court the
jail for you!"
Hurrah for Taft! Roll tp each
sleeve and get in line with James
Van Cleave. Display your union
card with pride and vote with
"Buck" upon the side. Hurrah
for Taft and smile and smile
when you're denied a jury trial
and sent to Jail upon the whim of
some big judge controlled by Jim.
Hurrah for Taft! You should sup
port injunction writs, contempt of
court, and jail for those who dare
declare their right to have a trial
fair. Vote for the doughnut with
a hole .as big as grandma's sugar
bowl. "Wave high the empty din
nerpail for that you'll never go
to jail.
lunches in between, to say nothing
of green apples and watermelons and
peaches and bananas? 1 guess the
average small boy loses nothing by
ignoring the advice of the scientific
sharps.
Must be a whole lot of guff about
this germ business, after all.
Different
"At any rate you must admit that
the president has the courage of his
convictions," shouted the office
holder. "Of course," retorted the quiet
man who had listened for an hour to
the harangue, "but what about the
non-convictions that havo followed
all of the denunciations and the
threats?"
Kind
The poor and unfortunate tourist
knocked at the back door of a. cot
tage In Skowhepukeganicook, Maine,
and when the housewife appeared he
said:
"Mum, kin ye help a poor feller
wot ain't got no job. an' is so hungry
he don't know where he is goin' t'
sleep t'night?"
"No, I'll not give you a bite," said
the housewife. "But here is three
cents. I advise you to go right out
to Kansas where they are just cry
ing for harvest hands."
Grave Fears
Lamb went to Cincinnati to, speak
from the samo platform witli Mr.
Campbell, and on Mr. Campbell's
request spoko first.
"I know," said Mr. Lamb, "that
they wanted to hear Campbell, not
me, so I spoke rapidly for about ten
minutes and then introduced Gov
ernor Campbell. As I concluded and
turned to take my scat a man in the
gallery shouted with a loud voice
and in a rich Irish brogue:
" 'Shure. but Lamb's th' bhoy thot
knows when t' quit sphakin', an'
moro's th' pity there ain't more
loiko him!
"And the applause that followed
was enough to warm the cockles of
any man's heart."
All Kight
"What's this!" shouted the tariff
baron, throwing down his papor and
kicking a big dent in the mahogany
desk. "What's this in the papers
about Taft talking of making justice
'cheaper and surer?' "
"You aro mistaken, sir," said the
secretary. "Ho said nothing about
making it surer."
"O, that's all right then," growled
the tariff baron. "Tho cheapness
don't worry mo; what I'm afraid of
is that it may bo made surer."
Being thus encouraged tho tariff
baron proceeded to punch another
hole in tho anti-trust law with one
hand, while ho used the other to put
a fat contribution in the collection
box held out by Treasurer Sheldon.
"But why do you object to physi
cal valuation of railroads?" we
asked of the Great Magnate who
controlled most of them.
"We oppose it because we are not
certain how the valuation will be
made. If our tax agents were per
mitted to fix the valuation we would
not seriously object. But we fear
the government would insist on tak
ing the statements made by our en
terprising advertising men in their
summer and winter excursion fold
ers. That would bankrupt vs.".
Germs and Things
TDon't "breathe the germs will get
their work in on your lungs.
But did you ever notice what a
husky lot of men make up the street
cleaning brigades and I guess they
breathe about aa many germs as a
man can well breathe and live.
Boil the water it's full of germs
and bacilli.
But did you ever notice how
healthy the lioboes are, and' I guess
they drink about as many kinds of
water, and other things, as a man
can well drink and avoid diphtheria,
typhoid, jaundicet phlebitis, lumba
go, rheumatism and locomotor
ataxia.
Bat regularly and avoid over-eating
that's a grave danger.
But did you -ever notice the appe
tite of the small boy who can eat
three square meal day, idth iig
August
Gee whiz! . "' --
This biz -'
Of writing guff "
And stuff ' ' -
By the running yard
Is hard.
Seems to mo each, day .
That drags away
Gets longer than the day before.
The sun
A red-hot bun
Drives me to think
Of cooling drink
Lemonade, or pop, or. soda water,
And when I drink it makes me hotter.
O, gee! .
I'd like to be -
Down by the cool seashore.
But I must write - . -
Before night . .
Three feet of dope.
That's why I hope .-.',. . -
You will excuse -.
My use , - -
Of this short line meter., . . .
You see,
'Twixt you and me,
This sort of style
Used for a while
And the task I'll soon complete her.
Sure!
"How did tho straw vote come
out?" eagerly asked tho manager of
the Jimperly Trust and Manufactur
ing company, looking out of his
palatial drawing room in ttio rear
Pullman.
"Ah, heard, sah," replied tho
porter, "that th' vote, sah, was
ninety-fo' fob Mr. Bryan and seven
teen foh Mr. Taft, sah."
"Of all tho fool things this thing
of taking straw votes on railroad
trains is the worst." crowled the
manager of the Jimperly Trust and
Manufacturing company.
Then ho pulled his head Inside
and slammed the door of tho draw
ing room so hard that tho engineer
stopped tho train, thinking ho had
run over a torpedo.
Bruin Leaks
Wiso Orator
J. ID. Lamb of Indiana Bays the
highest compliment he ever received
as a public speaker was paid him
in Cincinnati in the late SO's, when
Governor Campbell defeated Poraker
after an exciting campaign. Mr.
Most "quick lunches" are eaten on
man acquires an enviable rep
utation by always tearing down.
Some young men work awfully
hard to land an easy job.
Any one of us can forget politics
for the minute that the fish is nib
bling. A lot of men hold to tho moral
code that says the sin is merely in
being found out.
Politicians talk slightingly of the
labor voto when they discover that
they can not "work" it.
Two classes of people worry about
money those who have none and
those who have a lot of it.
The bookbinders' strike is almost
over. Now we wish tho book bor
rowers would go on strike.
Some men hold to tho idea that
justice means giving them what they
want instead of what they deserve.
Ever notice how many toothpicks
you can accumulate by tho time you
are vainly searching for just one
more match?
If our first ambitions were the
ones wo realized, most of us would
he beating the snare drum in the
village band.
Speaking about "cryptogramic ut
terances," ever try to figure out how
a mother manages to understand
what the baby means by its cooing
utterances?
rRBRaRBaiilB9jBj4BBj jg B aBBBBr 4BaBBTaBaRaBJj
We'll fumfe
YOUffheme
On Cradlt.
Netnattar
hew far distant
yeullve
Wtllrtlfyra cringl arttdaor furnlth joor Vwn w('
4WJ n4 (Its jou from tttxlvt t ilmUm mnthi in
tokUkttfAyfofyntrfurthAtit, Toa njof lb full at
et Mm horn farnlihlnp hlU eajlag (or ttua II Hi
Mcb month kt nu arn tfea nomr.
Wt fumteft hems en ereelt all arar Ma UnlWe
SUIm. Ills pcwIUrdr th nort aonMantUI, tba isoit pit
tlorand lh mort Uonmthly conranlantpUn of cr4ltam
t1m1. Wo charia aatalutely nohlnr fur thli crrilt a
coanaa4aMm- inltrtiin txtnu mny kind.
CATALOGUE NO. 134 FREE
MUaUrtBl tutlfullr lllurifU4 tUU qooUng
tAnkfelvlow title on Ttrtthlar lafaratiti and tiMti4Ifl
horn. pUturTer a wondmallr attwitlva llaa ot VurnWare,
tootAlr low pileMonawrthlaf lafaratiti atxtbtautKrtto
bom, puturier anondmallr anwitiva Ilea of rarnKtira,
Carpet. Rar. Draparle. trior. Rafrktratort. Oo-rt.
Crocktry, gatrtac MacMnta, Clue, Mlmwara, at., Utw
tnUd altlurftUI In ealor. WrH tor thli btiitUfitl
cUlcr-ihl g rt fritt tuondir, X Maial art will attag
ft WrH far II TODAY. LMIBmw
10 SJ87
10CKER
4
Extra larga ad raaarlra,
nwMiawy carraa,
Bpfei9btTc4 la TUn.
tackaa ImUmt which
feaa tha rrief cjV
My ot cBnlnltW,
bak tafiad. niff4
dia to bade 4aaa4,
Ita laatnlloant
roe&ar a BBtaatefca.
Ma alaa a vorld
tiattr at Wia prlea.
Term T&aoMb, feilmee
Wo mi rncmiB.
co mo. O
flml (. Till. I tvAtttlr lha urrt aoata
furelililnr ImllUiUon la tin coantrr a4 bandit taora
txt Una tf'W oilitr atoro ot eomUnttion ot faraltara
ftoiMlo Atnarlca-fiw t(ftid. Haniosi builnc 4b
tfa wbleli aWa ua la ll at Inw prki tban any ethtr
Jinn in Iht fiuiinar. Yfrlta for our Rtg CUkf TODAY.
Sttisfe&HM SuarantMd Of Mterfy Refund
r.TuH
Tho ealarlcB paid by Undo ft&rn
to ClrU HerTk'Q employee! equal
and ex ceMlthocomlulniuiy branch
olviirito commercial life. 'Ibona
nnus of appointments are niado
annually. To learn how yon can
secure a Rood eorcrnment pooltu n
br qualifying ut liomti toiaMny
Cm I tf rrrlco Hxainfnatlon, writ
to-day for free Civil Henrico liook.
IaUraatlaaal Cerrttponitnt 0bak,
a BctII90rajilm,l'a.
1
THE GREAT HIT
at tli Democratic National Convention nt Denver,
Colorado, .Bryan CHUtpalKii Ituttun. Hnuly
ollor and ood money tnuker for Htreet-mcn.
OlKar-fiUindii. Novelty and Jewelry more.
ThlK button In coiyrl((lilcd and thcro U nothing
Ukolton tho market. Bend 10 cent for natnplo
and prlco Hat Hpeclal prlwfl to nil liryan Clubf.
Tho Schradxky Company, JJox biO, Denver, Colo.
JONES
Auction
School
TEACHES ALL BRANCHES f
AUCTIONEERING
ljty to lA'.urn. Term Ofteiis
Autcuat 'Z4. Vrem Ca MlotT
OAItKY iLJONKS. VrfM..
1216 HablntB Bli4. ChlwfO, UU
PATENTS
SECUICKTJ OK FKK
JCKTUJCNISU
Free report an to Patentability. Ill intra tod Guld
Jinok. and I.lat of inventions Wanted. cnt free.
KVANK, W1LIUSNH CO., Waihlnffton. D. 0
TOBACCO
FACTORY
WANTS
SALESMEN
Good pay. irtcady work and promotion. Experience
unnecesftary taws will 1ve complete Inatnictlons.
Danville Tebacco Co., Bex B SS, Danville, Va.
Swedenborg'f 'Heaven & Hell,' 400 pagn( 15c. Stamps
taken. PattorLandenbergcr, Windsor Place, St. Louis, Wo,
Agents wanted ARcnta to sell Wlllard Htecl Raattetu
W. C. WILLAKD, 316 Chestnut St., 8U Jx)ute. Mo.
Oklahoma Makes Banking by
Mail $af
Until such timo an your state pro
vides for the Guarantee of Xlaak De
poMltm wo ask your patronage for an
Oklahoma bank.
Wo afford every facility for th
handling of accounts by mail.
Out Time Certificate bear four per
cent Intercut, and are payable on de
mand anywhere In the United States.
We also allow Interest on &mvIhk
Account.
Send for our free booklet containing:
new law and other Information.
ALL DEPOSITS GUARANTEED
GUARANTY STATE BANK
MU.fKOGEE, OKLAHOMA
3. I. BKNKDICT, If. O. HASKELL,
Prcwldeat Caakler
1
