'JWfc w-jff fii?g tj
lUNB 26, 1908
The Commoner.
13
VMJ ' Wm ..
"Dixie"
Now they talk o' changin' "Dixie,"
An' I hear th' ringin' notes
Of th' ol' song through th' Southland
From a hundred thousand throats.
I can hear th' ol' words ringin',
Soundin' from bayou V sea
"Dixie Land whore I was horn in"
An' they're good enough for me.
I can see th' ol' host marchin'
While th' sunbeams dance an' play
On th' battleflags an' guidons
An' th' tattered suits o' gray.
I can hear th' fife's thin shrillin'
As old days come back to me
"In Dixie Land I'll take my stand"
An' they're good enough for me.
I can hgar a band a playin'
Way out past our picket line;
Blue clad boys a makin' music
Soundin? soft an' sw3et an' fine.
"Hail Columbia" comes a rollin'
From the band an' quick's can be
i Back we send th' answer, "Dixie,"
An' it's good enough for me.
I can see that gray host marchin'
Fightin' done an' goin' home.
But it'-s still a singin' "Dixie,"
Full o' hope for days to come.
'An' from ev'rV band in Northland
Comes tli' old tuiie, wild an' free
"Away down south' in Dixie"-
An' them old words just suit me.
When th' old 'Star Spangled Banner"
Rings out on th' evenin' air.
North an' south we come up standin'.
Eyes upon VOld Glory" there.
'An' we've buried strife forever
'Neatli that; banner of th' free
'An' both north an' south sings
"Dixie"
Good enough just let it be.
Talk about a change in "Dixie!"
Sonny, hand me that new gun
One you had way down in Cuba
Under that old flag. Which one?
Why, there ain't but one flag, sonny;
Stars an' stripes flag of th' free
'An' beneath it I'll sing "Dixie"
Old words, too they just suit me!
Bill th' Bunk, who officiated as
chairman.
"Why, we are members of the
stock exchange and we are just
framing ud a nlan -whnrnhv wn on
pledge a lot of our bonds for some
i of the new emergency currency," was
tho reply.
"Beg youse pardons," growled
Bill. "We didn't know youse fellers
was a workin' dls side o' de street
or we wouldn't a bepn a buttin' in
Jus' go ahead, youse. We'll take
th' other side."
Having thus amicably adjusted
matters the little business of doing
the general public good and plenty
proceeded without a hitch.
Diplomatic
"Have you got tho injunction plank
for the platform written?"
"All finished."
"What does it say?"
"Well, that's the point. Before
anybody can discover what it means
tho election will be oyer."
something Billy has done Billy gives
himself away by laughing, and I
whip him, too. As both get whipped
for anything either one does I al
ways got the right one forliis wrong
doing." "That's unjust as well as in
volved, isn't it?"
"Look here, old man; when you
become the father of twin boys you'll
lose a lot of fooliBh notions about
injustice and involving, and all that
sort of thing."
Worth It
Political
T. Softleigh Papagold "I want to
run for the legislature, old man.
What's the first thing to do?"
Jack Onthejob "Quit parting
your hair and your name that' way,
and discard that sash and multi
colored hat band."
Wise Johnnie
"And now, children," said the
teacher, "if a vehicle with two
wheels is a bicycle, and vehicle with
three wheels is a tricycle, what is
a vehicle with four wheels?"
"A baby carriage!" shouted John
nie Jones, whose duty it was to
wheel one about the time the other
boys were playing ball on the public
square,
Courtesy
Bill th' Bunk, Porch Climin' Pete,
Strong Arm Andy and several other
eminent advocates of easy money
had arranged to rendezvous what
over that may mean at the corner
of Goose and Spruce streets at a
given hour.
They wore ori-tlme, but to their
astonishment they jsaw a little knot
of men. occupying the corner and
talking In whispers. "
"Well, -who are youse?" growled
"I" see," remarked .Summerly,
"that'- the republican national con
gressional committee has offered a
prize of $150 to the man who can
write the best article on 'Why the
Republican Party Should Triumph.' "
"Well, such an article would be.
worth the money as a litfrnv wir-
iosity."
"How so?"
"It would be the "only thing that'
would make the literary efforts of
Baron Munchausen and Joe Mulhat
ton look like six plugged nickles."
: .vf&fe
Great Advantage
Tho casual visitor in the sanctum
watched us as wo manipulated our
typewriting machine and then asked:
"Is the use of a machine any ad
vantage to you other than making
your copy plainer for tho printer?"
"Well, I should say so," was our
reply.
"How?"
"Well, suppose wo want to spell
a word and don't know whether it
is spelled with an 'ie or an 'ol.' In
that case we write it 'ei' and then
shovo tho carriage back a couple of
notches and write 'Ie' rieht over It.
We'd like to see anv nrlnter that.
could prove that it was not a mistake
of the machine instead of ours."
Success
"How' did Jukos make his money?"
"Automobiles."
"Must have had a big trade."
' "Trade, nothing. Ho got run over
twice arid collected big damages'both
times." s ' ' "
"Is your new breakfas'iood su-
l(piiui .vu yuxk iiiiityyn i
-.,,.
No. but my advertising man is.
and that's what counts.. '
f.
i
Tho Optimist
Lots of rain theaa rlnvc
Yep, but the rain that washed
out my corn washed down a couple
o' cords o' wood from the feller
above me."
"Weeds getting the start of your
crops?"
"Yep; but a lot of them make
mighty good greens."
"Flood washed your house oC the
foundation?"
"Yep, but I'm usin' th' cellar f'r
a cistern an' it's full of water."
"Hogs dying of tho cholera?"'
"Yep, but I couldn't drive 'em to
market through th' mud, an' it's
cheaper to let 'em die than t feed
'em."
"You seem mighty cheerful' under
the circumstances."
"Always feel that wav. Tf ,
weather was too fine I'd worry about
nuviir no piace to Keep tn' crop when
I harvested. Every chicken has
hunted th' high places an th' rinnira
ain't forgot how t' swim. So what's
tn' use o' worryln' about nothin' that
worryin' won't cure?"
The Weather
Keeps right on a rainin'
But th' watermelon vines
Extra length each day are gainin' '
An' I read th' welcome signs.
Hoe 'em up an' hill 'em -
That's your present work and
part.
Rain is gwino ter fill 'em
Twell the juicy insides start.
.Easy
"But your twin" boys look exactly
alike. How can, you tell ..them
apart?" . Jt v, ,. . -.
"O, if I happen to whip Jack for
Brain Leaks
' A trained conscience heeds no ac
cuser.
The poorest man usually has some
thing that a rich man would give half
his wealth to own.
It would be unfair to judge wom
ankind by tho "woman's page" of
the average Sunday newspaper.
The man who objects to a noisy
Fourth ought to hie himself to the
deep, dark woods and forget it.
When a man spends all his odd
hours puttering around his house the
neighbor women are apt to envy his
wife.
People who live In mortgaged
houses shouldn't start false financial
rumors.
The man who Invented the lawn
mower was doubtless a genius, but
he created a lot of trouble for his
fellows.
After all, our bread doesn't fall
"butter side down" more than half
the time.
We who are poor can get some
satisfaction from the knowledge that
our heirs will not quarrel over what
wo leave.
We hunt a lawyer when we want
to get the best of a neighbor; a doc
tor when wo want to . get the best
of ourselves.
Most of us are saved a lot of em
barrassment by the fact that the man
in the moon is not connected with
the local telephone switchboard,
It is easy to understand how a
woman looks cool in summer, but
what mystifies us is how she keeps
from freezing to death in winter.
A boy never knows what joy there
is. in a bran new suit of store clothes
unless he has had the experience of
wearing a suit cut down from one of
his father's old ones.
If the congressional gentlemen
who make up the new currency cpm
mlssion will do as well by the peo
ple in money matters as they did for
themselves in that little 60 per cent
salary, increase, a lot will bo forgiven
them....
MONEY
i mm '
t
pet it plentifully anS
use it properly, for
it makes you free.
nlnff. but cannot oxecuto for lack of . w ?h It you
ff2Wyi lhS ,,cn8ur(, which every cliHil ofinSX
LniiW Mo.l,sy KiVl freedom from wan U from
?l,,e.ly' ?m ,h0 inontnl. and otion pby cnl. do
prcmlon that acta as nn liMiiiwralilo imr "o tlioau
tulnmontof tho best and hljruosl In life l M,oa
in other words, complcto success Is ImnoMlliln
without financial indeondenco, and nimnSKdo
pondonco Is not n mnttor of luck hut ihn nuu 7ir n.
well donned tLAV otn mnttor or "rindfS rSfhJ
o AW'S "yt t.f Rotunir in hnnnonVwU
clU8lon7 following it to it, lotfcnl con-
.'i.0?1'1 10 'nnoy-frt:cdom is open to everybody:
onoiewhoCOn,0,w,3:t ot,,cr uncoSSoK bwi
pno who Known tho path mid docw not follow it
oild Src!l!,,l"0,r l b,,imo for nl "S the
rJX , miVi?! ?u,,u,.to b0. ovoldwl, tho slmplo and
Ln fiiCH ,,fLnc,JP,0l by wh!ch you or any man
SSiS? Mro 'Kbpf'i'idnfnontnl law which Is tho
iJ FiiL" nI1 th,.s to clearly and Rraphlcally set
r iV,. t,(m?w nn1 much nooded IwoJr, "Tho Law
of Financial Success." by Edward 1C. Deals.
it Iti written for innn of ambition, whothor rich or
Sn?."i,CCC8arHl ?F "'UHicccHsruI, it will bo of untold,
vniuo to you. it combines theory with practical
knowlodRo; It not only states tho law, buttVdbf ow
to apply it. Four editions went llko wlldllro, and
If CTinTjSlSly011 100,00 C0,,,ca lH ,lalfll0,li nnd
The Fiduciary Company
-940 Tacoma BIdg., Chicago.
fc HVirr. tdiai. nvwti
m
TRIAL OFFER
T WILTi trivo you
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7. O, LINDQUIBT, Manager.
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L I-.. I
kS
mm tfH
ME CUT
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Dl
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MHO OARRIAQC MF. GO
CehMtJius, OWa
m
ORNAMENTAL FENCE
6 DE8IOHS, AI.LATRIM
Ilandsomo cheaper thaa
wood moro durable. Hpeclal
prices to churches and ceme
teries. Don't buy a fence imtU
you get our free catalogue.
Kobecao Feace MmUss c3e-49rtItit-1Kokom,Id.
MANLOVE
Automatic Gate
Saves time, adds
to value, safety,
beauty and pleas
ure of home.
MAM LOVE SATE CO., 272 E. Hurts SL,
CHICA80, ILLS.
TEXAS STATE LAND
Millions of acres school land to be sold by the State.
$1.00 to I6.C0 per acre; only ono-forticth cash and
40 years time on balance; 3 per cent Interest; only
112.00 cash for ICO acres at t3.00 per acre. Greatest
opportunity; splendid land; send 00 cents for Boole
of Instructions and Hew Stato Xew. ' J, J, Snyder,
Schqol Land liocator. 140 0th st, Austin. Texas,
Ilelcreucc, Au3tlu Natloaal Hank, also this paper.
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