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MAY 8, 1908
The Comnionerr
13
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Dickey Boy
"Now toll me a 'tory," says wee
Dickey Boy,
"When night pins her robe with a
star;
When hushed is the strife of the
workaday life
And troubled tomorrow's afar.
"Now tell me a 'tory," and cuddling
close,
His little' head pressed o'er my
heart,
He smiles as he waits for the tale
Dad relates '
"Let's see; now how does it
start?"
"It's 'bout a big, black bear," says
wee Dickey Boy,
As he cuddles up closer to me.
"And thus well begun the bear story
is spun
To wee Dickey Boy on my knee.
"P'ease tell it aden," murmurs wee
Dickey Boy,
But e're the old tale is retold
"Wee Dickey Boy's feet are soft
pressing the street
That is paved with sweet Slumber
land's gold.
Sometimes "Sing a song" is wee
Dickey Boy's plea,
And Dad's up against it for fair;
For he lacks many' things a man
needs when he sings,
Including the tone and the air.
But to wee Dickey Boy Dad's a
singer of fame
So Dad warbles of "birds in the
r-pie"--
TDat's dood; sing aden," says Dickey
Boy when
He tries to rub sleep from his eye.
Then of the old soldier with one
wooden leg,
And his comrade, the sailor, I hum
Till his soft, happy sighs and his
tired closed eyes
Inform me the sandman has come.
Then I-kiss the sweet lips of my wee
Dickey Boy,
And down in my heart 'way
down deep
I know fairies and gnomes sing to
him as he roams
Through Slumbertown, county of
Sleep.
;ou want to discount the figures t.
whole lot, my boy. 1 know."
The Balance Sheet
"It's all right to sing the praises
of the hen," remarked Suburbanite.
"She is entitled to praise and lots
of it, but it makes me tired to hear
people say that the hen product is
so much profit. I've got a dozen
hens, and they provide me with from
eight to ten eggs a day. At 25
cents a dozen that amounts to over
$50 a year. Sounds good, doesn't
It?
"But that isn't clear profit not
by a long shot. Those hens of mine
got loose the other day and
scratched up $3 worth of garden
seed in my garden. Then they flew
Into my neighbor's yard and
scratched up about 'steen. dollars'
worth of his garden and an equal
amount of flowers. It cost me $30
to build a chicken house, and when
I got it finished a grouchy neighbor
proved that it was five inches over
on his lot and It cost me $8 to have
it moved. X wear out, .about two
pairs of shoes extra each year chas
ing those hena back: in.to the chicken
yard, and it seems that about three
times a week my wlfd tqlls me, I'll
have to order another bushel- or .two
of feed.
."Yes, the hen Is all right, and she
may -be-a source of great profit, but
Would Try .
"I see that Mr. Rockefeller says,
'be content with what you have.' "
"I'd like to try being contented
with what Mr. Rockefeller has."
Hard Luck
"Blinkerly is a chronic grumbler."
"What's he kicking about now?"
"Says he spends half his time
dodging automobiles and the other
half of nis time envying those who
own 'em."
Not Uncommon
"I see where a man after eating
dinner In a French restaurant found
he had no money, and left his false
teeth for security."
"O, that's not so strange. I've
left several good teeth In American
restaurants."
Ho Does
"Does Closeun take much inter
est In politics?"
"I should say he does! He loaned
mo $100 to make the campaign when
I was a candidate for the legislature
and he's been charging mo 10 per
cent a month for it ever since."
Needs Revision
"How did you make out with your
revival of, Shakespeare on the kero
sene circuit?'
"It was a financial as well as an
artistic failure," replied Hamphat
DeKanter. "I withdrew my attrac
tion until I could revise Shakespeare
and bring it up to the times."
Warned
"Hello, Binks!-' What are you do
ing here in the butcher shop? I
thought you were a vegetarian."
"Well, I was; but I've had my
warning."
"What was it?"
"Saw by the paper this morning
that Chauncey Depew gives all the
credit to his vegetarian diet."
In Vain
"Pray, why did you jump over the
moon?" we asked of the historic
cow.
"O, I was merely trying to keep
up with the price the packers will
put upon my carcass," was the reply.
But I could tell by the plaintive
note in the reply that the cow rea
lized how far short her jump really
was.
Different
"We've got to get out an injunc
tion against those strikers," said the
paper trust magnate. "They threat
en to injure our business by their
activity."
"But will they not retaliate by In
RteHner that the injunction acainst
you be enforced?" we queried.
"Well, I should say not," replied
the magnate. "We'll not ask for
the same kind of Injunction."
Genesis of Politics
a-ms itmi Inatnmtprl. or WflrA vnn
liC JJIA AMWV -ww j - .. w y w
14- nAxmnntp, tllfi CflllHO fit thfi
best man?" queried Priscilla Mullins.
After considering iue mauer iunn
Alden concluded that the instruct
tions were not so binding, after all.
Thus was furnished a precedent
for politicians who would come a
couple of hundred years later.
Tho Gcnnino "Fan"
Anyone can laugh and holler- when
the home team's in the lead
And tho score is all lop-sided and
opponents "off their feed;"
But commend me to tho fellow who
can smile and still stay sweet
When tho visitors are winners and
the ?
Home
Team's
Beat!
We contract a tired feeling when we
hear a noisy "fan"
Knock the home team when it loses
liko a premium hammerman
'Stead of cheering up the locals with
enthusiastic shout
And boosting like the mischief till
tho
Last
Man's
Out!
O, it's easy to be cheerful when tho
home team is ahead
And the kalsomino in plenty on the
visitors Is spread;
And It's easy for our faces to ex
pand in joyful grins
When we've got tho foemen going
and tho
Home
Team
Wins!
But the man we love the greatest is
the man who smiles and smiles
When the visitors are hitting our
. home pitcher miles and miles.
He is always optimistic and it does
ii r ennd to meet
With the man who keeps on boosting
when tho
Homo
Team's
Beat!
f.i
'JUt. .
Say, you fellows in- the grandstand,
and you on the bleachers, too
Stop your knocking! Go to boost
ing! Help to pull the homo team
throuirh!
Always be a cheerful loser knock-
ins: bears most bitter fruit
Though .the goose eggs como a
plenty for tho , .
Homo
Team
.Root!
hJ
Brain Leaks
Everybody loves a cheerful liver.
Fine feathers make expensive
hats.
Real sacrifice entails some Incon
venience. The dead can not enjoy flowers,
but the living can.
rprvinfr tn hi "one of the bovs"
has put many a good man to the
bad.
The preacher who Is popular with
everybody is missing some golden op
portunities. The man who pays for the "Merry
Widow" hat can not appreciate the
jokes about them.
The fellow who is always boasting
of being the "boss of his own house"
is usually a grouch.
If champagne cost but 30 cents a
quart most men who drink it would
prefer a good quality of cider.
fPim ttioti -who are alwavs com
plaining about "crooked politics"
are the men who never try to
straighten it out.
Wish we could take as much in
terest in some things as a baby takes
In its own hands when it first dis
covers possession of them.
Whenever we Hew a mau iik&uu
out In lodge regalia we laugh to
think what mean things some men
say of the dress fads of the women.
.When wo want a man for a diffi
cult .task we are not going to hunt
tnf ,i nnA who took the nrlze as
the best waltzer at the picnic.
Some men always mane a snow
of saluting the flag, and many of
them do not caro a rap about the
principles for which tho old banner
stands.
Wo know people who always ap
plaud Mozart or Beethoven and se
cretly long for "01 Dan Tucker"
and "Arkansaw Traveler."
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FARM AND RANCH, Dallas, Texas.
Uniii imp!1'
mrimriJii
ORNAMENTAL FENCE'
U5 IlKHIGNB, ALLHTKKL.
Handsome cheaper than,
wood -more durable. HdccIaI
prices to cbarcticfl and ceme
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2 403HertkMU,Cokeiuo,ld.
Texas State Land
Texas has passed now School Land Lawn.
Millions of acres to ho eold by tho State, 1 1.00 to
$5.00 per acre; only one-fortieth cash and no
more to pay for 40 years unlaw desired, and only
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the State on 100 acres at 3.oo per acre. Create
opportunity. Land better than Oklahoma. Send
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INFORMATION
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WE SHIP " APPROVAL
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unkiard pf frittl and tnarvtlout ff"trt
cm fclghett grade 19M model bicycle.
FACTORY PRICES &S3S
a pair of lire from anyent onjr frtot
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and team out ttndtrul frefiiUtott c am
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RIDER AfiENTS r
money ealilMUne and seiliaz our Mcycie.
We Sell cheaper than any other factory.
Tires. Ceaitar-Brako, tusele wheel.
parts, repairs nd tumJiiet at ha( unmt friett,
O Net Walt; write tfttqy tor out tjteiaJ Jfer.
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