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MAY 1, 1908
The Commoner,
13
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My Vacation.
I read about the mountains,
Scenery sublime and great;
Of purling streams and fountains,
Trout with greed insatiate.
I read of long vacations
Spent in shadows of the peak
But I'll make no preparation,
For I'll only have a week.
I read about the ocean,
Wavelets breaking bright and
blue;
Read of storm king's wild commo
tion, Cliffs and crags of rugged view.
But I only read and ponder,
For I'll only have a week.
So I'll dig some words and wan
der, Fish for bullheads in the
creek.
May Day Reminiscences
"I see," remarked the middle
aged gentleman who often comes
up to get a bundle of exchanges,
"that there is considerable discus
sion in Omaha over the recent de
cision of the Y. M. C. A. directors
of that city to install billiard tables
In the Association rooms.
"Now, I'm not taking any stand
for or against, but there is some
thing rather remarkable about the
logic of Borne people when they un
dertake a discussion of this ques
tion of amusements. My father
was a minister, and he was violent
lyopposed to billiards, pool, bowl
ing, card playing and other amuse
ments of a kindred nature. Wo
lived in a little Missouri town, and
a few of the business men organized
a little club and installed a billiard
table. One day, when I was about
fifteen years old, I happened to go
down to the hall, past the club
room, and through the open door
saw a prominent merchant knock
ing the ivory balls around.
'"Want to try it? he asked.
"I tried It a little bit, but on
looking up and seeing father watch
ing me from the hall I lost all in
terest in billiards. When I got
home that evening father chided me
with a very healthy peach tree
switch for engaging in the sinful
amusement.
"Now, doubtless father was quite
correct in his views, but every af
ternoon, nearly, he would go over
Into the court-house yard and spend
a lot of time playing croquet with
his friends, and they'd play so late
in the evening that they'd have to
light matches and hold them over
the arches in order to finish a game.
"I've puzzled over the matter a
great deal, but to date I'm unable
to see the difference between
knocking ivory balls around on a
green cloth and knocking wooden
balls around on the green grass."
Of course we insisted on know
ing the facts.
"Well, when I was a boy my great
ambition was to play the tenor drum
in a brass band. I'd follow a band
and walk right beside the tenor
drummer as long as my little legs
could hold out. To my childish
mind the tenor drummer was the
greatest man in the world, and I de
termined that some time or other I
would be a tenor drummer.
"But the years came and went,
and I had no opportunity to become
a drummer. Still the ambition re
mained with me, and I still have it.
I am past middle age now, but in
a few weeks I'll achieve that ambi
tion. I have organized a band among
the young fellows of the town,
and I am going to furnish them
their instruments and their uni
forms. The only stipulation is that
I am to be the tenor drummer until
I get tired of it. I expect that drum
in any day now, and foolish as it
may seem to you, I am as impatient
about it as any boy you ever saw."
What one community considers a
pestiferous weed, another commun
ity will consider a fine flower or foli
age plant. When the writer was a
lad and lived in an Illinois commun
ity he often saw cultivated in flower
beds a plant called "snow in the
mountain." The good housewives
cared for and nurtured these plants
as if they were geraniums or some
other fine plant. And It used to
tipkle him when he saw, them at it,
for back in the Missouri .hills where
he came from he knew that they
were growing by the hundreds of
acres, and knew, also, that the own
ers of the land used to say harsh
things about the weed. "Snow in
the mountain" in Illinois was only
an obnoxious milkweed in Missouri.
There is no particular point to
this little incident save that it
brings to mind the fact that in some
communities certain things are not
only tolerated but protected, while
in other communities the same
things are looked upon as danger
ous and are rigidly excluded.
paid to the dead athleto. The Globo
says' "The biography of Henry
Ghadwick is, of itself, a history of
baseball. The players, the politi
cians, the polemlsts of the game, ho
has seen them appear, grow mighty,
and vanish. Seemingly ho had be
come one of tho eternal fixtures of
baseball affairs, for tho seasons
waxed and tho seasons waned, and
Time dropping her garraonts of grief
for the dead year arrayed herself in
tho sprightly green and balmy sun
shine of the April to welcome joy
ously tho renewal of tho strife, and
Chadwlck was ever among those
present at tho reception. Tho six
ties and the seventies slowed his
step and frosted his hair and Into
tho eighties he came, whiter, feeblo,
but with soul as young and lusty as
that of the kid peeping through tho
knotholo of tho left-field fence.
"At eighty-four the umpire says
'You're out!' Thus endeth Henry
Chadwlck. From grandstand and
bleachers, with heads uncovered, tho
crowds file slowly out"
A liong Whilo
"And while I was struggling there
in tho water I thought of my mis
deeds." "Geo, It must have been a long
whilo before your rescuers got to
you."
Extra Dangerous
"Those long hat pins tho women
uso these days are awfully danger
ous, don't you think?"
"Yes, they are dangerous, but
they are not tho most dangerous
thing about the modern woman's
hat!"
"What Is?"
"Why, the bill, of course."
A few weeks ago we visited in a
little Nebraska town, the guest of
a gentleman who has accumulated
quite a bit of this world's goods.
"Oh, I'm pretty well fixed," he re
plied in answer to a rather Jeading
question, "but I still lack one
thing."
"What's that more money?"
we asked.
"No, I've got about all that I
really need. But when I was a boy
I had one great ambition, and now
I'm going to satisfy it. It won't
cost much, and it may appear fool
ish when the people see what it is,
but I'm going to satisfy it or know
the reason why."
"I have often wondered," said the
chronic grumbler, "why the rail
roads do not adopt a system of hav
ing the names of the next stop print
ed and hung up in the coaches, so
the passengers could read it for
themselves instead of trying to un
derstand tho unintelligible noises
made by the brakemen."
"That would be a good scheme
but for one thing," said his friend.
What good would those placards do
to the passengers who could not
read?"
"Oh, fudge," growled the chronic
grumbler. "You are one of those
fellows who are always knocking on
everything you don't think up yourselves."
Harry Chadwlck died a few days
ago. The announcement does not
convey much to the mind of the av
erage man, but it does to the mind
of the man who is "daffy" on base
ball. Chadwick, who was eighty
two years old when he died, was the
man who evolved the game of base
ball from the old game of "round
ers." Although an Englishman by
birth, he was an American by adop
tion, and under his guidance and
inspiration baseball became the Am
erican national game. Tho Joplin,
Mo., Globe speaks of him in lan
rn that breaths poetry, and to
date no prettier tribute has been
Tho Difference
"Frank Gould says the rich have
their troubles."
"I suppose they do, but they are
not like the troubles of tho poor."
"What's the difference?"
"Tho troubles of the rich are
brought on by themselves. The
troubles of the poor aro usually
shoved on them."
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Be Your Own Boss
Sell
Photo
Knives
Horrible Thought
"I'm not making any complaint
about this 'Merry Widow' hat busi-
bad enough,"
ness," said Goodun.
"Well, they're
growled Groucherly.
"Yes, they're pretty much of a
nuisance, but just think what a fix
we'd be in if the old hoopskirt, or
tho Grecian bend, or tho puff shoul
ders had come along with it! Oh,
we ought to be thankful its no
worse."
Brain Leaks.
Good health is often a matter of
temperament.
Indigestion is sometimes diag
nosed as piety.
The older we get the more wo wel
come rain on a holiday.
The best bargains aro always of
fered just after you havo spent the
last available dollar.
Better build castles in Spain for
yourself than to dig pits for your
neighbors near home.
When a city man pushes a lawn
mower about a mil he thinks he
has done as much work as a har
vest hand.
A lot of us would get out bare
footed and squash the mud up be
tween our toes if We were not afraid
of tho conventionalities.
This is tho season when a city
man will be as proud of a garden
as big as a blanket as a farmer is of
320 acres of clean, growing crops.
Wo always feel sorry for a man
when we see him standing around
and being asked for advice when
his wife is buying a new spring bonnet.
TnrtpfftmrHliln. tratidnnrdnf ftnn.lln TIiaa i.i.1.
and nnme undornoatb. Every blndo forged from
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Kxcluslvo territory, lilg coram Iralon. Wrlto for par
ticulars. Caatott CuUtrj l', 103 W, 10th gt., CauUa, OW.
a STROKE SELF FEED HAY MESt
2 men can ran It.
3 ton in one hoar.,
Easy draft (
Smooth baltaA
Will sare Its cotU
Shipped on trial
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TOBACCO WW? SALESMEN
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ASSISTS, $2,300,0001
Twenty-ono years old. Write
The Old Line Bankers Life
XiIhcoIb, Nehrawka
Texas State Land
Texas ha.? passed new School Land Laws.
Millions of acres to bo sold by the State, f 1.00 to
15.00 per acre; only one-fortieth cash and no
raoro to pay for 40 years union desired, and only
3 per cent Interest. Only 112.00 cash to pay to
tho Blato on 1C0 acres at f3.00 per aero. Greatest
opportunity. Land better than Oklahoma. Send
CO cents for Boole of Instructions and Now Blato
Law. J. J. Bnydcr, School Land Locator. 140 MIi
Street, Austin, Texas. Reference. Austin Natloual
Bank.
WANTED
A GOOD FARM
INFORMATION
RE0ARD1N9
for sale. Not particular about location. Wish
to hear from owner only who wlU sell
direct to buyer. Give price, description and
ctato when possession can bo hod. Address,
L. DARBYSHIRE, Box 365, Rochester, N.Y.
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