vsryirT
FEBRUARY 21, 1908
The Commoner.
13
bent upon a pedestrian to keep out
of the way of automobiles."
30
fflPARftTOR
"Perhaps not, but it will bo legally
incumbent upon tho pedestrian's
family to defray tho funeral ex
penses." IIAVT7 VTlfl CITU nitn f . T.i....
dWHU-
TMil
CKUAM Stil'ARATOR? jluHt mi thS
low down ordrr. wuty runnlfnc, Mmnio
beyond comparison. Skim Ion trace.
Tnci ciuiicnt runnlmr, cl'ui skimmers.
Btrnnemt nil hv fr Hi )... ..
Still a Kunnin'
01' Satan tryin' t' git me, but I'm
keepin' up my pace;
Gwine t' keep a runnin 'cause I got
ter win th' race;
An' I "ain't no time to worry
'Cause I'm in a mighty hurry,
An' ol' Satan's right behin' me with
a grin upon his face.
01' Satan gwine t' cotch me if I even
hesitate,
So I'm jumpin' like a rabbit at a
mighty rapid rate.
Heard ol' Satan say I'm due him,
But I sw'ar I never knew him,
An I hustle moughty lively 'cause I
gotter miss his date.
Got my eyes on glory fas'ened an' I
hurry on my way;
Theology ain't pressin' for no argu
ment today.
Jus' keep runnin' while I'm prayin'
'Cause I hear ol' Satan sayin'
That I'm owin' him a plenty an' I
gotter stop an' pay.
'Cotch my breath an' keep a goin'
right along to glory's goal;
There's a prize that's worth th' wln
nin', an' it's my immortal soul.
If 1 pause f'r but a minute
Then ol' Satan boun' t' win it
Watch me go ol' Satan never gwine
t' git me in a hole.
Glory Hallelujer brother! I have
cotched my breath ag'in!
Hear my feet a patfrn' glory as they
run away from. sin.
Peter, fling dat gate wide open, .
F'r dis Tunner am a hopin'
Dat he's gwine t' distance Satan an'
a crown o' glory win.
Our Feeling, Exactly
"Say, Bings; what can you do for
the grip?"
"Nothing; but I can tell you what
I'd like to do to it."
Another
"That's what I would call the 'big
stick'."
"What?"
"That sixteen-sheet circus poster
on the bill board yonder."
However
"We will starve these workers in
to submission," snarled the man who
posed as a Jrustee of Divine Provi
dence. However, a few days later the
workers took the trusteeship into
their own hands. Also the funds.
February
When the frost is on the furnace
And the coal pile's getting low,
It is safe to make prediction
That the wintry winds will blow.
For blizzards sure will git you
And the snow drifts highly roll
When you're broke and in your cellar
There is nary bit of coal.
Just the Same
We has just coughed up the price
of three or four tons of coal, and be
ing in an inquisitive mood we called
on the owner of the mine to make
some inquiries.
"Why is coal so high in price?" we
asked.
"That question .Is often propound-
Only One "BROMO QUININE"
That Is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININT3 Look
for tlio siKnnturo of E. W. GROVE. Used Uio
world over to Cure a Cold In Ono Day. 25a
ed," replied the mine owner, "and
it gives me pleasure to explain the
situation to you. We are compelled
to charge the high price for coal bo
cause of the exorbitant wages de
manded and received by the miners."
Being in favor of good wages we
could not meet this argument, so wo
fingered our receipted bill and pre
pared to leave. However, just as we
reached the door the mine owner
said:
"By the way, there has just been
an accident in our mine and several
miners were killed. Their families
are left destitute, and it will be neces
sary to c-"e for them as well "as to
provide for the Interment of the men
who were killed. I presume you are
willing to subscribe something to
this end."
Not having much left after paying
the bill we could subscribe but little,
but that little was cheerfully donated.
An hour or two later it dawned on
us that perhaps the statement of the
mine owner concerning wages, and
his subsequent request for a dona
tion to the widowB and orphans of
the dead minors who drew such ex
orbitant wages, did not hitch very
well.
However, the mine owner hid all
our money in his possession, so we
could do nothing further in the
premises.
The Littlest Girl
My papa called me sweetheart till it
came.
An' jus' played wlf me all th' time;
But now he's jus' forgot my baby
name,
''Cause there's another baby now,
on' I'm
Told 'at I mustn't run an' sing an'
Play,
'Cause I might wake it up an'
make it cry;
An' 'stead o' bein' petted ev'ry day
I'm told I'm such a bother when
I'm nigh.
That's why I'm feelin' so dreadful
sore
I ain't the littlest girl no more.
'Fore baby came my papa used t' say
'At I was jus' th' sweetest girl in
town.
An' 'at he'd ruther sing an' romp an'
play
Wif me than any little girl aroun'.
An' he would sing me sleepy songs at
night,
An' tuck me In my little trun'le
bed.
But 'at was all before he caught a
sight
Of that new baby's little fuzzy
head.
An' now I's feelin' so mighty poor
I ain't th' littlest girl no more.
It's dreadful hard for a girl like me
'An ain't no bigger'n a pint o' sand,
T' have t' stan' round an' wait an' see
A baby gittin' pats from mamma's
hand.
I can't see why they wanted 'nother
one
While I was here an' jus' a wish
in I
Could see my papa so 'at I could run
An' s'prise him till he said, "O
my!"
But baby come an' I'm . dreadful
sore
I ain't the littlest girl no more.
Reprinted by request.
Naturally Follows
"I see that a California judge has
decided that it is not legally incum-'
An Idea
Tho president threatens to send
in a special message on tho labor
question.
Perhaps some employer might find
a way to enjoin him.
In Georgia
"I have hero," said the agent, "a
bottle that cannot bo re-IUled, and
I would like to appoint you agent
for tho state of "
"Sorry, sah," replied Colonel Hu
kins, turning again to his desk, "hut
hyar in Georgia, sah, the only thing
of. intrust, sah, is a bottle that can
bo emptied."
Thus was the incident closed.
Our Navy in 1027
Tho Admiral in Command "How
is the temperature of tho gunners?"
Tho Commodore "Normal, sir."
"Have the big shells been steril
ized?" "Yes, sir."
"And have the rubber gloves been
provided for the powder monkeys?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then you may order out the
chloroform squad. It will proceed
in the submarine to the enemy's
ships, taking them in turn. As soon
as our subjects are properly under
the influence you may begin firing."
Brain Leaks
A man of principle takes an inter
est in politics.
Life is worth the living if tho
liver is worthy of life.
The men who believe in themselves
never blame their failures on others.
A lot of men look firm because a
big bunch of whiskers hide a reced
ing chin.
The man who is always boasting
about his rights seldom has a thought
for another's wrongs.
The fellow who agrees with our
pet ideas is always a man of good
sense and judgment.
The woman who was married at
eighteen always thinks her daughter
of twenty is a Mere Child.
A lot of people yearn for straw
berries about now who wouldn't give
a nickel a bushel for them in June.
Dear brother, did you over notice
that the clothing stores offered the
best bargains just when you didn't
havo a cent.
We envy tho expert billiard player
the time he spent in becoming an
expert. We could have used it to
much better advantage.
We are usually pretty careless in
our walking, but up to date we
haven't stumbled over the fragments
of any "busted" trusts.
Some people worry themselves
sick to get into society, only to find
after they have succeeded that it is
very much like being in jail.
Easter is approaching, but it is a
pleasure to ponder on the fact that
the new style bonnets can not be
any more mashed up than thj pres
est ones.
A great many parents send their
children to Sunday school for one
hour every week, and flatter them
selves that they have done their
Christian duty by their little ones.
When you do not feel like jumping
up and running to the window when
you hear the fire department going
by, you may safely mako up your
mind that you are getting quite old.
Some of these days a visitor Is go
ing to drop Into our sanctum and
pick up the office shears without say
ing, "So this Is what you write edi
torials with, is it?" Then we are
going to spend a week's wages mak
ing that visitor's stay pleasant.
K
- ... ...... , BM M,. , K.uatll
scmrators cvrr made Prices o low
r, Hiey scream for attention. 1yik
In nnn nt rttir lt rife n. I ,
for crenm wjnmtoni. If you haven't
ii Illj? Hook borrow your neighbor's:
oUhtw1u befnru buytnu a rrrnm nerw
rator nnywbrrn at any price, on
111 card Addrcmrd to us, dimply gay.
Mail mi your Intm and BTratnrt
I7ltfn MfMMlif HfTiir ITfiftlFilfi
SEARS, ROEBUCK & CO., Chicago
3 STROKE SELF FEED HAY PRESS
3 Mm run run It
3lontlnoobuar
Er itrU
Smooth bl
Will (ITS IU COM
Shipped on Ulel
flntlsfnctlon
CJuuriinlecu
THR AUTO-FEDAN HAY PRESS CO.
tit 15. 10th St., Topt-kn, Kim.
II ranch O filer, 1521 V. 12th St.,
AhU. for Cut. 113. Kmhnhx City, Mo,
lid
GUARANTEED TELEPHONES
For Farmer Party Mn on
Clear Tmlkerm. Loud Ringers.
Llgh tnlng Pro o t.
OUR NEW BULLETIN NO. 8
plvlnct valusblo Information will
bo mailed froo on ropiest.
THE WRSCO SUPPLY CO.
Ft. Worth, Ti. HT. I.OLIH, HO.
w
ei Old Trusty
limbttor. Cut turt rwnlU. t
limbttor, Cut turt rwnlU.
fuflU.lf.
40,60, 00 Din' Trill
yr.Util ptjU. 7i p.r
twin UUi UUl n"'
nul. M Jolibuo') dl
rrt7.r ud Pui riainr
jlwc fi pUtom HO
li.
M.M.JOHNSON
GUy Center, Neb
HPuti22tlFril Wl IS
J&ilflrV J
.
I pYMu
FWisn
PATENTS
HKCl'KKI) Oil I'KK
KKTUKNKO
Free, report at to Patentability. Hltiilrnled fluids
Hook, and List of Invention Wanted, went froo.
KVASK, WJMC15NH & CO., Wadiiiik'ton, D. O.
Nurseries Pay Cnsh Weekly
and Want Moke Salesmen Every
where. Hect Contract, Burr Outfit,
Largest Nurseries with am 82-Year Record.
STARK BRO'S, LOUISIANA, MO.
AII
g Good fippBe Tepees
Ail vanoupfl. rcaon so, rinm 120.
rilmrrv 17n. Ornium telM nor !() OrAItOU
frwuyia tint iidf.ilHrtfrd Tll TinV tt f rtftl f rlt t.
no of nurnory Htock ami Hetf i. LnrKO
llltustratea cataiojc rrco wnuj waay
Gorman Nornorlon. Boi 77, BEATRICE, Ktb.
8
1
I
UR& BEEB
Flftvyeara study enables ustooffor bcxtknomii
(Trades pure bred BEKU CORN. No corn (frown I
eouaiHiowauom. vocumvate best trnes or woni
. . . ... .--..
urea corn, lare germ, carefully srraaca. wntorori
ireecaiiioffanu run inionnaiion.
W. W. VanSant&Sons, Box 29, Farragut, low
fe?
Seed
TSooJc
FOR 1908
contains 6 3
Specialties in
Vegetables,
69 in Flowers,
besides every
thing else
good, old or
new, worth
growing.
You need IL,
It is free to
all sending me
their address
on a postal.
Win. Henry Manle 'KffiggffK!
riM.fw4HL