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DECEMBER 13, 1907
The Commoner.
13
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JQaDaySure
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failed to Incorporate oursolf.
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Like a Boy Agnln
0, I am growing anxious, just as
anxious as a kid,
To see the Christmas presents that
I know are snugly hid
In closet or in bureau anywhere
my eyes won't see
Until they hang in splendor on the
lighted Christmas tree.
I know my children bought them for
they slyly nod and smile,
And mamma who's their partner
wears an air of utter guile.
I know I should know better at my
age, but Gee Whiz! when
The Christmas season strikes me I
am just a boy again.
1 know it would be proper at my age
if I'd decide
To court a quiet manner and be
grave and dignified;
That 'twould be more in keeping with
my age and hair of gray
If I would look important and put
childish things away.
But what's the use of talking? When
the kids begin to sneak
Around upon their tip-toes, and they
scarcely dare to speak
Above a giggling whisper something
strikes me' biff! and then
I know it's nigh to Christmas and
I'm a just a boy again.
At close of day 1 hasten toward the
. lights that shine for me;
I want to hear the music when my
children laugh "with glee;
I wantJ:osee, them ..scatter as they
haste to hfde their things
That I'm not supposed to look at till
old Santa kindly brings,
I want to be n sharer in the old-time
Christmas joys
That have made the old world bright
er to uncounted girls and boys.
And. that's why I can't be stately or
austere, like many men,
For I get chock full of Christmas
and become a boy again.
concerning this matter of which I am
now speaking with intent to morely
emphasize all that I may have at
any time in the past said concerning
the matter of which I am now speak
ing." "Well that's all right," remarked
Uncle Josh Weatherby, who was
nothing of a diplomat, "but what
we want t' know is, air ye goin' t
run aga'In?"
Discouraged
"I remember one time endurin'
th' panic of '47," began the Oldest
Inhabitant.
"0, that's a chestnut," interrupt
ed the stranger in the village. "What
I want to know is where I can get
during this panic of 1907 a five
dollar bill to send to my wife to buy
Christmas fixings for the children."
Ambignous
"As' I have before said, and as I
would now reiterate," said Honorable
Seizemore Chaunceys, "I have noth
ing to unsay nor to withdraw from
what I have hitherto said or written
regarding this matter which I have
taken occasion to refer to before
when T said what I have already said
and which I do not now unsay nor
retract for the purpose of deviating
in any particular from what I have
taken occasion in the past to say
6rip Pains
It would be utterly Impossible to
Imagine anything more distressing
than La Grippe pains. They are simply
lnuescriDaoiu, auu ou w "",,"
of all the misery sensations known.
Yet they can be relieved, and In a
very short time by taking.
Dr. Miles' Anti-Pain Pills
the greatest remedy on earth for pains
of any kind. Their soothing influence
upon the nerves is felt throughout the
entire system.
"I Jiad La Grlpplo pains all over me,
and I was in such distress I thought
I could not endure it. I thought of Dr.
Miles Anti-Pain Pills, and after taking
three doses the nain disappeared, and
I slept peacefully. My brother has a
swelling on his neck, and uses them,
as they ease the pain and leave no bad
effects like quieting jpowders.
ADBLIA LANE, Portage, Mich.
If thoy fail to help, your druggist
will refund your money on first pacK
age. , , .
25 doses, 25 cents. Never sold in
bulk.
Christinas Adages
A twenty-five cent doll in the
baby's stocking is better than a two
dollar bill in the safety deposit
vault.
A Christmas candle can shed more
light in a child's heart than an arc
light can on a street intersection.
.People who object to Christmas
trees because the custom denudes the
forests, never think of going bare
fotted because leather depopulates
the feed lots.
The echo of a .child's laughter on
Chrjstmas morning is ample reward
for. a month of sacrifice.
All Alike
John-D. Rockefeller Is a member
of the American Press Humorists'
Association, and while we had long
doubted his eligibility we now have
.had all doubts removed.
Brother Rockefeller is eligible.
"I have not now, nor have I had,
$100,000,000 in government bonds
since the beginning of the present
panic," declared Mr. Rockefeller one
day last week.
That's why we say Mr. Rockefel
ler' is eligible.
That puts him on the same high
plane as the rest of 'us.
Neither have we $100,000,000 in
government bonds, and we haven't
had any such amount since the In
ception of the panic.
Guarded
Tho lifo insurance agont thought
for a little while that ho had struck
A big snap.
"1 want about $2G,000 on my
life," said the caller. "And I want
to pay a year's premium in advance."
The agent gasped, but recovering
himself he reached for bin blanks
and began asking tho usual ques
tions. "Come to think of it," interrupted
the callor, "you'd better make that
policy read $35,000."
By this time tho agent wan seized
with a premonition.
"Look here," ho said to tho caller,
"this policy will contain an excep
tion clause. We pay no beneficiaries
"if the insured moots with daath
while acting up as a cotton batting
Santa Claus."
"Then I'll look elsewhere," shout
ed the caller, reaching for his hat.
A Fnanciai Fable .-
Being somewhat short of cash and
owing several bills which were con
stantly presented by insistent credi
tors, we decided upon a clever
scheme.
Instead of paying the bills In real
money we kept what little cash we
had and offered to pay the bills we
owed with promises to pay made out
in. the shape of certificates,
Whereupon there was a loud out
cry, and several creditors hastened
to the nearest justice of the peace
and secured a garnishment of our
wages.
"Just have confidence," wo plead
ed, with tears in, our eyes. All you
need is confidence."
But to no avail. Our wage was
garnisheed.
"You ought to pay your bills
what you owe when you have the
money," said a friend.
After studying the matter over we
have concluded that this financial
game is too deep fdr a workingman,
so we have abandoned it.
In the meanwhile the.weekly en
vAlone contains a certificate for an
J amount which, when added to what
Long Ago
When I was Just a littlo lad,
Not very good nor very bad
Say just about tho average boy
A-bubbllng o'er with fun and joy
I used to think it lots of fun
To furbish up my broomstick gun
And buckle on my sword of lath
Then sneak along the garden path
And out the gate and down tho lane
Until tho sumac patch I'd gain;
And there I'd slay the Injun braves
Until the woods was strown with
graves.
All tli at was very long ago
But if you really want to know
1 d .ike to sneak out there today.
Forget my years and once more play
That I'm an Injun slayer hold
Whose deeds no book has cvar told.
Now on tho square,
My good friend there,
Just answer me straight out and true,
Wouldn't you?
When I was just about so high,
With stoncbrulsed lnel and shining
eye,
I'd whistle at Pard Pryor's gate
Then hide behind the barn and wait
Until he found a chance to sneak
With me off to old Walnut creek;
And there the livelong summer day
We turn and turn about would play
At Crusoe's isle first he would be
The Crusoe, then next day 'twas me.
And on the island in the stream
We'd play until the last sun gleam
Would warn us that the coining
night
Would soon hide all things from our
sight,
j. hen off we'd go without a care
To home and welcomes waiting there.
All that was in the bygone years
I only see through mem'ry's tears;
But I don't hesitate to say
I'd like to sneak out thore today
With Pard and play that game again
Although we both are grayhaired
men.
Now on the square
My Rood friend there,
Just answer me straight out and true,
Wouldn't you?
iln tnMr,tnmh-t w f t4raU tUr ftrMtl
Oricxusuxdco., b iom dii,mw.
or llrsrtrnr
KOTAbMiX
E'ti I
GUARANTEED TELEPHONES
For Furnur Forty t,lni
Clear Tslkmrm. Loud ningtrm.
Lightning Proof.
OUR NCW BULLETIN NO.
:llne vlaliln InforntftMon trill
io uiftlloU free on rcjucai.
TUP. WK.SCO SUPPLY CO.
VI. Harth, Ti. flT. LOIJM. no.
TJcl
60 YEARS
EXPERIENCE
SXSoiuMMm .
m -.hsmciJipir
gnSr SBm
Trade Marko
Dcoiqhb
Copyrights Slc.
Anyonoin1lnjf a nketrh Am dcncHntlon war
r ulcklr fuicortnln our opinion freu whether iui
Ihrontlon H protmlilr pnU-titnhli?. Conirnunlcfv
tlnm mrlcurconfldoritliU. HAIIUbUUK on I'atmiUi
sorit free Oldest nuoncr for iccunnir pntonu.
1'atotitB tflUuri throiiBli MUnn A Co. rocoli
rptUil notice, wliliout clmrjo, In tho
Scientific American.
JtArirciit clr.
I.ISI
A hnndiomelr llltiatrfttad WMklr.
tlHiii rt nntf alnril Irln frttlrflftl 1ArrflB
vuiunv... w. .................. j-...-.. .......,,
Tfiir; lour monuiB, 91. naiaujux ticwiowiicm.
MUNN &Co.30,B" New York
Uratjcb Office. (36 F HU Washington, D. C.
STOCK OWNERS
ATTENTI 0 N
lOO of tho miwt vvluablo practical Htoelc lUtm
cdlcfl over printed, Ini'ludlfifr Condition J'ku'Jwh,.
'i'onlw, Hr. Why not nut nuch tlilittf up yourmdf ;
know wltal you m fwiJInjr your tftovlc nriil xavo
JiJO to vti mtvMn For innnv ymnt I). IJ. Frotnari
luw Ix'on (ratlinrlrii; ir'diui t-iUrd )tclpl from
tin wt HUK'k. (Irowonr or tin I'uliwl HIhUm and
(,'aiimld ItPUinllpN that thiy "nwtwr Uy." Hw Ua
roiiwlvcd tliu IdoAof imttlnic tluuu In n little Ixmk
lvtcouvdnlont for tho pwkcit wlilcli Iim rnm Tho
HUxk Owiwn' I'ockot ('oiiiuhiiiqii." Till littlo
iMmklca of loo itro HianlptM prlntwt on lliwi
pnpor oticloAMl In n Imitlmr (Morocan) avm or
pockot-lKK)k will lo iiinllPd to any tuUlram tot OO
Otititn. it a!) contnlu hort lnwtlil Trfttl
on thnruof Poultry nnd how to t X) kk tnr
yinr porlien. bond for ,tTod-y, mu ifltiloon'nt
prove tho iMHitlnviwttnntit you ovr iuad. or If Uy
IU urn yon dott't novo DoIIhik for vmry SOtjkvl
InvmUil, iy ho und wo will ruturn ymxr tuotiuy.
Jtttforoucoa any Itnuk.
F. II. IMCKKJIHON CO,. I'HWUlMifn,
Ko.it LlKhtiiMr liulldln.
Detroit, Mlcli.
Brain locale
Life Is what we make it, not the
way we take It.
Some people who are in the church
are out of Christ. ,
The man who courts the limelight
should not object to the spots re
vealed. The man who never has any
trouble Is always willing to advise,
"don't worry:'
In addition to the fun of propagat
ing the Santa Claus Idea, there Is
the economy of it.
One trouble with Santa Uaus is
his tendency to feel the effects of
a stringent currency market.
THE UNION CENTRAL
LIFE INSURANCE
COMPANY
of CINCINNATI, OHIO
ESTABLISHED IN 1867
ASSETS, $55,000,000
80 per cent of assets invested
in first mortgage farm loans
in thirty-three states. High
est interest rate, low death
rate. Large and increasing
annual dividends to policy
holders. Up-to-date policies.
Good Territory for Reliable Agents
Address the Company
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