'
The Commoner.
13
OCTOBER i, 1S07
rfSII1
I
My Three
Eyes-'o-Brown and Sunny Hair,.
And Dickey-Winktura-Wce,
Two beside my easy chair
And one upon my knee.
Thus the evenings come and go
Till Mr. Sandman's call
Sets three wee heads to nodding low
And tired eyelids fall.
"This is the way to Sleepytown
Jump into bed and cuddle down!"
Eyeg'0-Brown wants "an'mal tales,"
Of bears and wooly things;
While Sunny Hair most loudly wails
For whirr of fairy wings.
But Dickey-Win ktum-Wee just winks
His laughing eyes at me
I wonder what the young man thinks
Perched there upon my knee?
"So sing hey ho for Sleepytown
Jump into bed and cuddle down!"
"Once there was a big black bear"
Two pairs of eyes grow bright;
Two forms press closer to my chair
As if to banish fright.
"And once tliere was a brave young
bov"
Then dimpled faces shine,
While I with fairy lore add joy
To these sweet tots of mine.
But Dickey-Winktum-Wee just crows
Till off to Sleepytown he goes.
"Now I lay me down to sleep"
The. good night prayers are said.
The fleecy clouds of slumber creep
Above each little head..
Eyes-'o-Brown and Sunny Hair,
And Dickey-Winktum-Wee
God guard and "keep from ev'ry care
My little one's for me. '
Safe in the shades of Sleepytown
Tucked in bed and the light turned
down.
parent, jerk the confirmed bachelor
out of his grouch and tickle the risi
bilities of all who possess a spark
of humor. Underneath it -all Is a
vein of tender sympathy for the lit
tle folks. The cover is unique. A
stork printed upon the cover carries
in its bill a. little baby that it not
printed it just swings in its little
"cat's cradle" and begs to be taken
into somebody's home. And baby
and book should bo in every home
where babies have come.
- A Threatened Danger
"I see that the administration is
going to get after the beef trust
again."
"Well, that means that we'll have
to quit eating meat."
"Why?"
"Because the other time the ad
ministration got after the beef trust
the only result was an injunction
and a big increase in the price of
meat."
ono expects a tariff advocate to bo
consistent.
"Willie" Wc believe you havo
ground for action against the pawn
broker who let the moths get into
your ovorcoat.
"Cook" Wo like our moat ran
and that's the way we've been get
ting it since the beef trust was en
joined. "Society" You would be very
foolish to mortgage your home in
order to purchnse an automobile.
Squirt a little gasoline on your hand
kerchief and let it go at that.
Of Course
"I see that the learned and able
literary lights who have charge of the
Hall of Fame have again denied
Edgar Allen Poe a place therein."
"Who are those people who pre
sume to judge?"
"O, they are our very best exam
ple of literary genius. There's, let
mo see there's urn, er, ah now
isn't it funny that I can not recall
the names of a blessed one of them?"
Guarded
The Limit
"Is your new auto speedy?"
"Is it! Why, it can almost keep
up with my gas meter."
In 2007
"My ancestors came over in the
Mayflower." r
"Huh! My ancestors came over in
the Lusitania."
Having been assigned to special
work the youtig reporter called upon
Hon. Blowan Bragg, the multi-millionaire
trust maenate.
"Mr. Bragg," said the young re
porter, having run the gauntlet of
the clerical force, "I am assigned by
the Daily Whirl to learn first-hand
from you the secret of your business
success."
"Look here, young man," growled
the magnate. "You'll have to come
around after this mania for investi
gation blows over. There's liable
to be a grand jury called at any
time."
Easily Figured
A correspondent sends in the fol
lowing query and asks the architect
of this department to provide the
solution:
"A man starts on a Journey, trav
eling afoot. He walks at the rato of
Ui roe miles an hour from 8 a. m.
until 12 in., then rests an hour for
dinner. From 1 p. m. to 6 p. m.
he walks three and one-half miles
an hour. The day after he starts
another man follows, intent upon
catching the first pedestrian. The
second man walks three and one
half miles per hour from 8 p. ra.
until 12 m., resting an hour for din
ner. From 1 p. in. till 5 p. in. he
walks three and three-fourths miles
per hour, and after supper walks an
other mile before retiring. How long
will it take the second man to over
take the first man?"
If our correspondent thought to
worry the architect with that simple
little proposition he is sadly mis
taken. The answer is easily ob
tained. When the tariff is revised by its
friends
When Mr. Taft is ready to an
nounce his willingness to accept the
income tax without further delay
When the Standard Oil company's
business is transacted in compliance
with law
When the beef trust pays atten
tion to injunctions
When the Northern Securities
company ceases doing business under
another name
When llarriman and Morgan and
Vanderbilt stocks are run through a
wringer
When a trust magnate is sent to
jail for violation of law
Just about the time all these
things occur we'll hear that the two
pedestrians are dead, and then we'll
not think anything more about their
walking match.
Worth Considering
"Your; town-seems to be much
more religious than it was when I
was here last year. Have you had
a revival?"
"Not much! We've had a resurrection."
Alas!
No more do heavy cares of state
Nor talk of war concern us;
We've got to hustle, early, late,
For coal to feed the furnace.
O, gee, but it's a load of care
To tribute-pay to George F. Baer.
In Doubt
The Stork Boole
Newton Newkirk, the humorist of
the Boston Post, has just issued "The
Stork Book," one of the cleverest
conceits that has yet sprung from
the fertile brain of that jokesmlth.
It Is filled to the brim with merry
quips and jests about that most in
teresting of objects, animate or in
animate the baby.
It sets forth with clearness and
conciseness the wonderful fund of
knowledge Newkirk does not possess
concerning babies, and at the same
time it hits off the foibles and follies
of the Newleyweds and their first
born. It will be enjoyed by every
The would-be candidate was
plunged into deep thought.
"I must do something to attract
attention to my boom," he muttered,
picking nervously at the fringe of the
curtain.
"And what shall it be?" he queried
of himself.
The answer was not easy.
The buttermilk gag, the cocktail
stunt, the rescue-of-the-fair-maiden
scheme, the choppmg-down-a-tree-a-day
play and such things had been
worked to a frazzle.
At last accounts the would-be
candidate was still plunged in deep
thought.
Answers to Correspondents
"Anxious" Ten fifty a ton, in ad
vance. "Ruthie" If the inside of the first
joints of the index and second, fingers
of Ms. right hand are stained yellow,
it is a sign that he smokes cigarets.
"Evangeline" Wo will gladly
join you in a crusade against the
cigar habit. We smoke a pipe.
"Puzzled" You should not worry
because publishers who demand free
trade in paper "stand pat" for a
tariff on the things you consume. No
Our Hank Money
Order I'lun of i
Hanking by Mail
i the nlrnplrwl. fnftmt
nwu mt rnnviwni.
Irr rent IiiNtcM
ia paid frt.m In in
in r h t r h r m o n y
rrsrlio m. Ytnir
liitr r ratulatill on I
tlriMwIt, rrilnr ptiful I
InterrM, t imi IkivpI
Hip limltev III rtnir titm-
: ' - . - .;"
'rffoMrirm rtHitlv rijp Itft
!itant line when needed. Ak for Ihwklel "K,
which Hilly explain the merlin of Mil won
rfdprful plan Write todar.
The J) OMltora Hnvlnuit nml Truxt Co.,
loin I, tlolitimiii, rrmKleiit
Clevelmid, Ohio
IHMMHHHHH
FOR AGENTS. A SUCCESS.
"The Oid World
And It Way"
DY
Wm. Jennings Bryan
57rt Imperial Octavo Pages. 251 Ruptth L'nyrap
ing Jrmn J'lvAoyrapKt taken by Cot. Jlryan.
Ilocounta hid trip around tlio world and hln
vIMts to all nations. Grontum book of tmrul oror
written. Jlot nucccxHful book of tliln genern
tlon. 41,000 called for In 4 ihoiHIim. Write
us for Biimplo reports of flntt 100 ajronts em
ployed. Tbo people buy It eagerly. Tlio attend
harvest. Ouillt v it IS K. Band fifty cent
to coror cent of rualllna and handling.
THE THOMPSON PUBLISHING CO., 81. Louis, Mo.
3 STROKE SELF FEED HAY PRESS
2 Men ran ron It
;i tons In onohotir
ijfviy urart,
Hmooth hafew
Will itavo In coat
HhiDpeit on trial
rJatlNfiictlon
(itiiinuitcott
Tin; Airro.n:rAN hay I'icicm co.,
TOJM'.KA. RANK AH. Ilos 33 "
It 1h the best policy holder's com
pany In the United Btatus.
A8815T8 12,000,000;
twenty years old. Wrlto
The Old Line Bankers Life
Ijfnroln, Ncbrnwki.
mtH'JtutmrLr .nW-fmrT
ISffflfflffB
BCtrffiMcrb RT STnOHCESl
if DeaSWVBUt M
MADE. Hull.
fttionitcbUk.
nn.ttcht. BVld to the KnrmiartttHUU.
(Icl'rlrr. VmlU vnrrtuttil. ('alalnff ,r5t
.. COILED BriillfO FENCE
aa I wincaeater,
ttalOff r
34 CO.
', Indiaa.
PATENTS that PROTECT-
Our 3 ) for InrfDiof iiulkl on receiptor 1 el iUcu
I!. 5. & A. U.LAULf, Washington, D.U. fcstab. 18B8.
WMAMIMhMMWiwiMnaMMIWVriirMMMnMi
Brain Ireak.s
A light heart makcth a. bright out
look. If a man has lived right, death Is
only a graduation.
It Is always easy to see where an
other's work could be bettered.
The trouble with a great many peo
ple is that they are near-doers.
It is often easier to refrain from
doing wrong than it is to do right.
Fraternity means something more
than belonging to the same secret so
ciety. A lot of people lose most of the
spice of life through failure to
ginger up.
A "kick" at the primary is often
more effective than a "bolt" at" the
ballotbox.
There is nothing so annoying as a
little man who feels big In a me
dium position.
A lot of men think they are all
right if they pay a little money to a
preacher who is good.
"The fool sayeth in his heart,
'there is no God,' " but he isn't fool
enough to believe it.
A father never realizes how hard
it Is for his child to learn long divi
sion until he tries to explain It.
Our idea of a nice, quiet, retired
spot is Oyster Bay from now until
about the middle, of next summer.
TJtAVKLING i'OHJTION with Tobacco Man
ufacturer now open. Good Kiy and promotion. If
Indtujtrlouft and energetic, ex perl email not now.
aary. Uanvlllo Tobacco Co., ilox JIM, Wanvllle.Vft.
PftTCUTQ K'urMl or Yen Unturned
Hltnia Term Ijw. Hudieat Kef. Ad
vice and Literature Free. V Ah HON & Co.. I'atbnx
Attoiinkyb, Wi K. Kt. N. V Wiwh., I). C.
W STARK.
Nurseries Pay Cash Weekly
an vant More Salesmen Evwr-
jjuvuv. Beat Contract. Best OiTTIT.
' r .onrcTTJiniscFHte.1 wrniA;82-YEAH Recobd.
STARK. BRO'S, LOUISIANA, MO.
PATENTS WSSSMI&S
Free report a to Patentability. NhwtraUxl OuWa
Hook, and Lint of Invention Want-d. ent free.
KVANH, W1IKKNS Be CO., Wtudiinjrton, D. 0.
The First Battle
A Story of the Campaign of 1800 by
W. J. I! RYAN
A collection of his speeches and
biographical sketch by his wife. Il
lustrated octavo, 673 pages.
"When the few copies I now have
are sold this book will bo out 61
print.
Price, cloth bound, 81 ZO each,
cnt by mail postage prepaid.. Ad
dreMM order,
G. H. Walters
2245 Vine Street,
Lincoln, Neb.
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