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The Commoner.
VOLUME 7, NUMBER 27
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The Commoner.
ISSUED WEEKLY.
Wll.I.IAM J. llllVAN Glf AUXICH W. HllYAN
ltdllornml Proprlator. Publisher.
IUciiaiid li. Mktc'ai.iw Kdltorlal Kootnn and Jluslncss
Associate Editor. OniarittU30 South 12th Street
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THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Neb.
The sea serpent prevaricator ,1s giving the
tariff advocates a .brief resting spell, v, . .
Mr. Rockefeller seeing to have played just
enough golf to be able to' foozle his memory.
At paotorn weather tirorihot nrftfHnrn Inn In
uigu'st. So. dp -we, if wo can .secure tlio price.
If those saucy Japs are not careful we will
have to turn General Funston loose among them.
A few copies of "Alone in Cuba' might
cause Japan to pause and reflect well upon what
may happen.
Perhaps that naval demonstration is merely
to show the conference at The 'Hague just how
much wo really desire peace. ' ., '
General FunBton does not like the way
the San Franciscans act. The general feels about
It vory much like the Japanese do.
An eastern professor declares that the hu
man soul looks like an oyster. If this bo true
wo know a lot of very soulful men. ,,.
"Seven dollar coal stares us in. the face!"
shrieks the Philadelphia North American. Not
In our face. Wo canit bear to look at it.
Tho Jamestown exposition managers aro
convinced that the sending of tho battleships
to Pacific wators. is a grave strategic error.
A Milwaukee man has been fined for car
rying a bottle of pop in his pocket. Milwaukee
Is very severe on nion convicted of treason.
"Speak softly and carry a big stick" may
be a wise bit of advlco, but what about tho
man who 'carries a big stick and acts foolishly?
That Pacific naval demonstration will not
amount to much if it is as big a four-flush as
eome recent moves against trusts and combinations.
Tho wonder is that Mr. Rockefeller should
have been able to forget so much between tho
date of Issuing the subpoena and his appearance
In court.
The distance from Hampton Roads to San
Francisco by way of the Straits of Magellan is
18,G76 miles. Add up the figures. "28" for
somebody. "
The Washington Herald says: "The At
lanta Georgian now admits that a newspaper
paragrapher may get to heaven, but must neces
sarily go via Georgia. That's all right; none of
them will complain of that feature." 'Of courso
not; but isn't that a roundabout way of getting
to Nobraska?
Eugene Schmlta beliovcs that ho could be
ro-olectod mayor of San Francisco. He will
have another think coming when his present
"torm" has expired.
Considering tho density of his ignorance
Mr. Rockefeller is seemingly entitled to great
credit for making such a signal success of his
financial enterprises.
If the people of Philadelphia will wake up
for a moment they will find that the mayor and
city council have made another large donation
to the traction company.
Tho Nashville Daily Tonnessean, a new
dally paper with strong democratic democracy
In its makeup, seems to bo achieving a well
deserved success in its chosen field.
Another Fourth of July ha3 passed and yet
no republican orator has pointed out any clause
in the Declaration of Independence justifying
a colonial policy in tho Philippines.
Secretary Cortelyou mado a speech at the
Jamestown exposition, but carefully avoided any
reference to the one subject that American citi
zens would like to hear him talk about.
"Prices are on a higher level than ever
.before," says the Chicago Journal. Quite true,
but there is a growing suspicion that the cause
of the higher prices is not altogether on the
level.
The Philadelphia daily newspapers are en
gaged in-a little scrap, arid a patient public is
hoping that the daily papers will keep it up
until each one makes public all the facts about
the o'thers.
,, , Mr,. "Wattqrson, In giving vph't to the. slo
gan, "Back to the constitution," "evidently over
looks the fact that a large part of the consti
tution owes its existence to the initiative and
referendum.
Just about the time Mr. Rockefeller's pub
licity "bureau thinks it has him landed on tho
pinnacle of popularity, along comes some un
feeling baliff with a warrant anH forces Uncle
John to the underbrush. . ' '
After raising rates fifty per cent in order
to pay an increased wage of ten per cent, . the
"Western Union Telegraph company wonders why
the operators struck when the ten per cent in
crease was not forthcoming.
,
The telegraph companies raised rates fifty
per cent, giving as an excuse that they had
agreed to raise tho wage of their operators ten
per cent. The sixty per cent still goes, but the
ten per cent is still In prospect.
Ambassador Bryce says the southwest "pos
sesses the agricultural wealth of France, the
rural beauties of England and the tinted azure
skies of Italy." And that cinches the ambassa
dor in the affection of the people of the southwest.
A monkey in the Paris zoo committed sui
cide when its young girl keeper left it. Not all
French monkeys, however, do that sort of thing.
But wo heard of one that made some loud
threats about suicide when separated from his
living meal ticket.
The story that Russian secret agents head
ed off a plot of a lot of common people to rob
the imperial treasury of $50,000,000 sounds like'
a fairy story. No one has heard of the grand
dukes overlooking any opportunities to get ahead
of the plain people.
President Roosevelt has ordered an investi
gation into the causes leading up to the tele
graphers' strike. The investigating committee
will put In a lot of tlmo trying to dodge the
facts about low wages, long hours, hard condi
tions and broken promises.
Paragraphic Punches
'
Oxford has made Mark Twain a doctor of
literature, and certainly it needs one.-Phila-delphia
North American.
General Bell denies that he ever said there
was anything the matter with the army.. Wo
can now breathe freely again. Portland Express.
Would any of the good old gentlemen who
signed the Declaration of Independence have run
from a subpoena server? Chicago Record-Herald.
Mr. Harriman's faculty for making himself
both impudent and unpopular, continues to mani
fest Itself. It amounts to: genius. Boston
Herald. - .
Reports from Washington indicate that tho
Knox boom will bear watching.- Also, that there
are plenty of people watching it. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
Alfonso is encouraging the Spaniards to
play golf. Dignified Castilian will thus be en
riched, by a new and startling vocabulary .Min
neapolis Journal.
We can hardly believe that Funston meant
there is an unwhipped mob in San Francisco.
Nothing can long remain unwhipped where Fun
ston is. .pmiaaeiphia Press..
. i
Some Philadelphia person has sent $400 to
the conscience fund at Washington. Probably
one of those capitol building! .grafters returning
tne price of a lunch. Omaha Bee.
-.
One of Oklahoma's senators-elect is a-blind
man, but, to employ an Hibernianism, he can see
into a great many things in. Washington if ho
keeps his ears open. Minneapolis Journal.
Alas! He read the Declaration of Inde
pendence in a sonorous voice yesterday. Today
he is -wearing an alpaca office coat and sneezes
when the trust takes snuff. New York Herald.
A Philadelphia crook has. confessed to sixty
robberies. Wonder how the board of capitol
trimmers happened to miss him when it gavo
out the contracts? Philadelphia North American.
Kaiser Wilhelm has at' last repeated the
Roosevelt stunt of going down in a submarine.
Now all he has to do is to start an Ananias Club
and then it will be a race for airships. Newark
star.
.
The announcement that the steel trust is
preparing to operate with gas does not mean,
however, that It is going to abandon its valuable
and effective hot-air system. Indianapolis
News.
. i
, The campaign of the terrorists in Russia
Is bad enough in itself, but that it is being car
ried on with $40.0,000 stolen from the national
treasury adds insult to injury. Spokane Spokes-'
man-Review. v
If Phlneas T. Barnum were still in busi
ness Judge Landis could give him the' name
of an individual who would surpass the'woolly
horse In making "the greatest show on 'earth."
Grand Rapids News.
If any one desires to learn how easily this
country is governed he has only to take a stroll
at this time through the half deserted bureaus
of administration at Washington and Harris
burg. Philadelphia Record.
A New York girl says she put Tier name
upon an egg and "found a man who loved her."
If a hen would only put her name and the
date on each egg she would find that every man
loved her. Courier Journal.
In defiance of the higher powers, E. Inger
! Aas, written a bqok on "The Wit of the
Wild, in which are discussed such subjects as
the behavior of jellyfish and the suicide of
opossums. The administration has evidently
overlooked the imprudent author's book,desplte
the fact that he lunched at Oyster Bay the
other day. Perhaps Loobhas not yet-finished
reading it. New York Evening Post.
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