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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 10, 1906)
i7, jSvr-'-'wr"'W' . ftp- f-v v ""' -STTST 7" 'rS"J AUGUST 10, 1906 The Commoner. 13 Goin' Out to Gran'ma's I'm goin' out to gran'ma's an liavo jus' lots o" fun Gran'ma never scolds me when I shout an' romp an' run. She says 'at little chil'ren 'at is lcep in school all day For more'n eight months of th' year has gotter right to play. An' when I go to see her she jus says 'at I kin do Mos' anything I want 'er till vacation time is through. I'm sorry for th' fellers 'at can't never go to see Their gran'mas in vacation mine is mighty good to me. Pa says he'll have some quiet jus' as soon as I leave town: But gran'ma says 'at she jus' loves to have me playin' roun'. An' mamma says she bet a cent 'at gran'ma, she'll git mad At me for trackin' mud in doors an' actin' awful bad. But when I'm gone I bet my pa '11 wisht 'at I was back 'Cause when he smokes it's me that brings his 6V terbacker sack. An' mamma well, she'll miss me, too; 'cause when th' baby's bad She says I'm jus' th' bestest nurse 'at she mos' ever had. Las time I was to gran'ma's, my pa pa' wrote to me An' pays he wants to see me, 'cause he's lonesome as can be. ButJgran'ma she 'jus' laffed an' said i better haye my fun, 'Cause pa would see enough ov me when that ol' school begun. Say, gran'mas makes th bestest jam 'at any boy kin eat, -An she ain't alius kickin' 'cause a kid don't wipe his feet. She says it's human natur' fr.us boys to be jus boys That's why I like to go there, 'cause she lets us make a noise. Gee whizz! I'm so excited that I jus' can't hardly wait For ma to git me ready say, she's slower than a freight! My gran'ma" wrote a letter 'at th' kittens and' th' calf Wus actin' up so funny that they'd make a preacher laff; That chickens wus a scratchin' till she's skeered a'most to den! They'd keep up with their scratchin' till she had no garden lef. She says f'r me to hurry, an' to make them chickens fly ' There comes th' 'bus to git me I got ter say goodby. Futile For ninety years he garnered gold And every joy denied. He made a fortune mighty big And then lay down and died. Better "I see that some scientific sharp has discovered seventeen varieties of germs in a $10 bill." "That's nothing. "What I'd like to do is to discover seventeen varieties of $10 bills in some of the germs around here." ' ' - ; A Mistake The cashier looked hard at the gen tleman who had made application for R loan "I really do not see how we can accommodate you," said the cashier. "I understand you have just spent $3,000 for an automobile. Now they are expensive luxuries, and according to your own report of your financial condition you could hardly take care of this loan and keep an automobile." "My dear sir," exclaimed the appli cant, "you have been misinformed. I haven't bought an automobile. I have invested $3,000 in a repair plant and I need the amount of this loan to complete my outfit" The cashier was profuse in his apologies. "My dear sir, we will gladly ac commodate you. We deem the loan a very good one." O, JoyI Judd Lewis says his only wish Is just to sit and fish and fish. Too bad he's got to sit and roast A writin' for the Houston Post. If Judd will come to Lincoln quick He'll find another fellow sick To hear the singing line go "swish" While doin' nothin' else but fish. So come up, Judd. I've got the bait 'Twas dug in 1868 And 'neath the fair Nebraska sky We'll "Tamper" with some "Trifles," you and I. The Commoner. armor at a ruinous rate that will only allow about 1,000 per cent profit." A Wall The August breeze among the trees Is blowing awful hot; Amidst the sweat I can't forget My very toilsome lot. Upon the street the hot rays beat And mortals broil and bake; The day creeps by with slzz and fry With torture in its wake. The short, hot nights are perfect frights. In vain I try to sleep. I toss and roll with anguished soul While night hours slowly creep. The rosy dawn I gaze upon Is but a sign to mo Another day has come to lay Upon me misery. Before mo lies linos, rods and flies, And reels and hooks and "bobs And as I look my form is shook With anguished groans and sobs. I can but gaze I've tried all ways To sneak to lake and river, Where dancing waves the shoro line laves With cool and restful shiver. I wilt, I melt I never felt Such heat. I dearly wish To Borne far lake my way to take And fish, and fish, and fish. But Huh, what's that? O, whero's my hat! A week off? Glory bo! A better week the bass to seek I wouldn't care to see. NORMAL COMMERCIAL SHORTHAND TELEGRAPHY 961 STUDENTS ENROLLED Positions Sicand r Tuition Refunded CAR FARE PAID. Kn- tcrnoy time, select lu dios. Send for frco Cata log for full Information Allan Meer, frs., Ctillllcothc. Mo. Slate Curs Daslrerf Make Money ro a free. Old ctUOtlOied l ..1.1. ..... ..A II. hi. a Man or warned ef any age ran make big mow ey. W tcb roa fraa. Old cttanllined aoote. work honorable, eay 1 llfhtl home. Kale f3 taf 10P'arnra. nnwwoij, ROYAL MANUFACTUUNQ CO. Bx aa5 fctrtiL Mkk. ft MAI T MXTU KgffmL -vil X1 r O, Will! Ohf Will! A tinkling rill, And you there, would,. he gr,eat! And It would be . A joy to nre To mingle with that bait! For. I was born ' V: - ";' One autumn morn, And felt- my mother's hug : And father's kiss, The year, you wis, On which that bait was dug. ) & va , Apologies toLindley Murray. Couldn't -tak time -iox find anything else. The train, is waiting. . ' So with my eyes " " Turned to the skies - I'd love to sit with you, And fish and fish Where willows swish, And gurgle just a few. Houston Post. HCWTtr Nave urn Cmm Cm mtMMT tntmc. llynarasale. Onetotttoeu.it mu cure iitavtt, iao par Of dealer, or r.zprcM muu. ncnu lor dookwi. en-tlght. Bold to the Farmer at Wkok ala Trier. Fatly wtmuiUd. Catalog fr COLLXI) UHO TJEITOX 00. ax3U Wiaeasater, Indiana. Ulox Kimball Hull 23to2B3 WabashAve. Chloago, III. The Difference He made 'steen million dollars By tricks of divers kind. To garner filty lucre He put forth all his mind. I haven't got a dollar, No, not a single "red," But I'm alive and happy The other fellow's dead. John D. is worth a billion, While I have not a cent; He's full of Ills and worries; And I am well content The sheriff chases John D., But I am free from care. I'd rather be just plain me, Than some poor millionaire. And yet I'm rich as can be I've friends worth more than gold; I've little ones to love me Through days of heat or cold. I harvest smiles and kisses That John D couldn't buy What, trade them for his millions! I rather guess not I. Provisional I should think the steel trust would be active in support of Hob son'B billion dollar navy idea." 'It is supporting the idea, but not actively just now." "Whr the nulet support?" up yet so tnat Br.ln..l,eak Easy won, poorly kept; Busting out Is not resting. Firmness Is not bullheadednesg. Truth concealed gives a Ho the right of way. Successful business men leave busi ness cares at the office. The easiest thing in the world to make is a good resolution. Guessed-at is always limping along behind Worked-out and begging for help. Some people are so afraid of com mitting a sin that they omit doing anything. We have met men who labored un der the delusion that their notoriety was reputation. A very short fall will plunge a man so deep in trouble that he can't climb out with a fifty-foot ladder. Men who have followed the beaten track usually end up without accom plishing much, that is worth while. Life is not measured by length of days. Methuselah lived nearly a thousand years, but ho accomplished very little. When a man starts after something he usually finds it coming to meet him. If he waits for it he usually sees it fading away. When a man does not walk a little faster as he turns the corner near his home, there is something wrong with either the man or the home. A man never knows what his wife endures until she goes away for a day and leaves one of the children to accompany him to his down town la bors. If you are so absorbed In your busi ness that you never think of a day In the woods, .it is a sign that you are a money worshipper and guilty of the grossest form of idolatry. We never hear somebody talking about belonging to the "cream of so ciety" but what we are reminded that cream rises to the top. Then we think of the old days when we "sug-ared-off" in the camp and spent a lot Of time skimming off the scum that American Conservatory me Leading school or muiic ana Dramatic Art. TWENTY-FIRST SEASON, filxty-flve eminent Instructors. Unsurpassed course of atudy. Tcachom'Trnlnlnfir Department. Diplomas ami Teacher's Certificates. Unrivaled Free Advan tages. Thirty frco scholarship awarded annually to tnlcntcd students of limited meant. Pnllterm begins Sept. 10, 1906. Catalogue mailed free. JOHN J. HATTSTAEDT, President WICH SELF Fl lWw Hw4 HAYPRESS The Baler for speed. Balotl2tol8 tons day. Has 40 inch feed bole. Adapted to bank Darn work. Stands up to its work no digging holes for wheels. Self-feed. Attachment increases capacity, lessens labor, makes better bales and does not increase draft. Send for catalogue. Sandwich Hfg. Co., 156 Hill St., SMiWlfc, Ills. Let Us Send You Our Book. aboat jrood wheel! and Rood wagons tto will you a ioC of worlcaadHMiroyoa a lot of money tlut ELECTRIC STEEL WHEELS and Ihe ELECTRIC HANDY WAGON. By every teat, they are tbebeat. Kore than one and quarter millions sold. Bpojiea united U th hub. Can't work loose. A set of our wheel win make your old wagon new Catalogue free. ELECTRIC WHEEL CO., Box 231 Qufncy, flit . "Tf h-iHTi'r. flxprl It the Midvale people can not bid for rose to. the top of the boiling sap. Opportunities in South Dakota Bleb soil, a, mild climate and abundance of water baro made Bouth Dakota ono of the bestaffricultural states in the Union. Tho soil of Lyman County Is unusually rich. The exUnlon through Lyman County recently built by tho CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE AHD ST. PAUL RAILWAY has opened up a part of the state hitherto Bparoly settled. Now towns aro being op ened up and land values aro increasing rap idly. Bend for the new book on South Dako ta. A postal to the undersigned will bring it. Low rates to all points in South Dakota every TueiidsT. T. JL NASH, Ctmtral WmIwb Agent, 1&2i Farnam Street, omana, nour. 1 ' "!" ( I I m I A umuitd"A