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The Commoner.
BORN
huCHARD METCALFE MAUPlN
!,' "' SUNDAY, MARCH 25, 190G
12:15 Pi M.
lit-
To R. M. M.
Funny little follow, with fuzzy
tie head,
With a face1 so small and red,
: Lying on your dainty bed
Precious little atom, o God's glory
hilt a part,
You havo walked into my heart,
Nestled there right from the start.
And the touch of your wee fingers
gives a joy
That no gold could over purchase,
Mlttlo boy.
Ctmning little felow with your
wond'rlng eyes of blue
Loolclng up with startled view
On the groat World strango and new;
Dainty little follow, such a tiny little
mite
Lying on your pillow white
Blinking at the softened light;
You're a messenger from heaven,
- God's envoy,
With a wealth of love and laughter,
little boy.
Darling little follow, starting out on
life's highway,
On your little head I pray
Richest blessings day by day.
Sturdy little fellow, with your little
hand in mine,
v 'Round you all my heartstrings
. twine,
'Round you Bhines a light dlvino.
i May your- lifo bo one of service and
I of joy;
rjfe that is woll worth the living,
little boy.
Accused
"The idea is absurd!" shouted Mr.
Blldad, pushing back from the supper
table.' Do you think 1 am a million
air a, "Maria? The Idea of your want
lag 4 l)ond $945 fr a new spring
bonnett Vhy, I never '-spend over
$3 for a hat and then I wear it a
year or more."
"That's very true, dear," chirruped
Mrs. J3ildad.
'"Then why. ask mo to put up three
times that much for a hat for you to
Wear three or four months?" '
"But the price isn't high for such
a love of a bonnet, and I think I am
entitled to it, my dear."
"Entitled to it!" shouted Mr. Blldad.
Ain 1 1 entitled to spend as much for
a hat for myself? But I don't. Not
much, Mrs. Bildad. I work too hard
for niy money to spend it that fool-'
ishly."
mZV WTe11' my dear'" sIetod Mrs.
Blldad. "I guess I can trim my old
bat over. I am sorry you have t6
work so hard for your money, and I
wish I could help you. Havo you a
little time to look at a few .things I
have to show you?"
"Yes, if- you'll hnrrv. t.toot,
read the evening paper."
a "F? A!inIdnb'" Wssod Mrs. Bll
dad, here is your February bill from
the club: For cigars, $12.95; for
drinks, $16.35; for billiards, $5.75
dues $3. And here is a cigar bill of
$5.50 from Druggerly. It is too bad
that you do not have a little money to
spend on luxuries, but the necessaries
are too many and too expensive, my
dear. And I will try- to help you by
saving moro and not getting a new
bonnet this spring. r wouldn't add to
your financial burdens for Anything,
;But Mr. Bildad had throwh his
paper aside and dashed for thd hat-
rack. A moment later the front door
slammed and his feet .were hoard
.stamping noisily toward the front
gate.
' "I think I'll just telephone the mil
diner to send up that bonnet," whisp
ered Mrs. Bildad. "1 don't believe
Mr. Bildad will say things out loud
when 1 hand him the bill."
Experts Wanted
"Ladles and gentlemen," said the,
lecturer after bowing to the first round
of applause that followed his Intro
duction. "I propose this evening to
address you on the all-important sub
ject of 'the training and rearing of
boys.' It Is a broad subject that Is
demanding moro and moro attention
every day. In the beginning, and in
order to lay a broad foundation for
the proper treatment of this great
subject, t will"
"Excuse me, professor interrupted
the harassed little man who was al
most hidden away in the corner, "but
how many boys have you?"
"Well, or, urn well, the fact is sir,
I have no children at all," stammered
the lecturer.
"That's all right then," said the lit
tle man, sinking back into his seat.
"I was afeerd you had a few of 'em,
an' if you had I knowed it was a cinch
you didn't know nothln' about raisin'
'em. You kin go ahead an I'll listen,
'cause I'm lookln' for expert advice on
th' subject."
But somehow or other the lecturer
thought best to change the subject.
Redeemed
"Before election you promised to do
a lot of things," complained the dis
appointed voter.
"Well, didn't I do a lot of things?"
queried the officeholder who had gone
back on his campaign promises.
Realizing that ho was one of those
who had been "done," the complain
ant walked thoughtfully away.
Proper Defense
"Not guilty, your honor."
The renlv of Skinnv lvniro ii -Ro-rrv
I Safe Blower, was as clear as a bell.
iiut you were caught red-handed
In the act," declared the court.
"I was there, your honor, but only
in my official capacity a? a member of
the board of directors of the corpora
tion known as the Amalgamated As
sociation of Bank Trimmers."
"That being the case'' Baid the
court, "you are discharged. The
prosecuting attorney will take Btepa
at once to bring this criminal asso
ciation before me in its corporate, not
its individual, capacity, and when he
does what I do to it will be a plenty."
After this court adjourned, having
satisfied precedent.
Outclassed
The little bunch of patriarchs
watched the disappearing figure of
'It ain't no use," sighed one.
"What's the matter?" queried the
stranger.
"No matter what kind of a story
we tell about the weather he can al
ways beat us out" .
"Who is he?"
"O, that's old Methuselah, and he's
got about 500 years the best of us."
Limerick
There was a young fellow in Del.
Who said to a maid, "You are Wei.
That my feeling for you
Is both earnest and true"
Said the maiden, "As for you, well
I care'
Historical
Lives of great men oft remind us
That they are not what tney seem;
That they boast loud just to blind us
To some vile insurance scheme.
Trustworthy
"Is Schomorly an honest politi
cian?" "Well, he has a reputation for stay
ing, bought."
The Pessimist
"Come, come, Groucherly; cheer
up! Man alive, it's spring and every
body should rejoice and be glad."
"That's all right for you, Laugherly.
But you don't have to bear in mind
that it will be Easter in a week or
two."
VOLUME G, NUMBER- 12V
r
clair says they do, and his publishers,-
after careful investigation, assurrieoV
responsibility. The socialistic -feat- , "
ures of the book are secondary until,' ."
the closing .chapters, when a briefly
treatise on socialism is offered -to
show that it is the solution of the
problems prenented. As an expose . '
of the beef trust's method of doing;-
business with its thousands of helpless
employes. "The Jungle" should -be
read by every consumer of packingv:
house products. The Jungle PublishjtV
ing Co., New xorK. -r--
.&;
But
He tackled the raging catamount,
And slaughtered the grizzly bear;
He tracked the roaring lion
Into his mountain lair.
He nreathed forth threats and slaugh-
ter
.On oeasls the world above;
But in tackling corporations -
Was mild as a suckling dove. ,
Puzzle
"Do you carry any life insurance?"
"Well, I don't know. All I know
is that I'm paying premiums."
Brain Leaks
The best proof of tlie pudding is the"
druggist's bill. " -
Parental example is better than
parental precept.
A man without enemies is drifting
before the wind.
Satan wastes no time setting traps
for the indolent.
The jingle Of nard-earried dollars
is always sweet music.
Wo feel sorry for the., boy who
never had a grandmother.
You can never earn an Increase in
wages by watching the clock.
The man who is easily pumped sel
dom contains anything worth having.
A man is stingy when he spends
money only on pleasures for himself.
Most of us, when demanding jus
tice, are merely trying to secure
mercy.
If the world owes you a -living it
is up to you to hustle out and collect
the bill.
The men most ready to risk failure
are usually the ones who achieve suc
cess first.
One of the amusing sights of the
world is the spectacle of a man who
is trying to get something for noth
ing, dickering with a man who Is try
ing to give nothing for something.
THE JUNGLE
What is in many respects one of
the most remarkable books of the day
is "The Jungle," by Upton Sinclair.
This TdooIc treats of the conditions in
Packingtown, as the stock yards and
yuiiiuuH uiburicc oi umcago is called,
socially, politically and industrially!
Mr Sinclair, says the book deals
truthfully with conditions as he found
them to exist. The story is 0f a for
eigner who brings his future wife and
several of his dependent relatives to
America, and finally lands in Packinc
town. His trials, his sufferings, the
gloom, despair, degradation and death
that stalk every minute through this
great industrial maelstrom a?e vlv
idly seir forth. With all of Us hor
rible details of filth, disease and crime
the book has a terrible fascination
SLnh? rf,adep- lt seems almost im
possible that s,uch conditions could
exist in a free country, yeL i1
.SL
AVERY'S HISTORY
The second volume of Avery's His-
tory of the United States has been,
delivered, and includes the history
of the Colonies from iGOO to 1660. Or-.
iginally the intention was to issue"
this history , complete in twelve vol- ,
umes, but the rapid growth in its-
scope has made it necessary to in- ,
crease it, and fifteen volumes winbe -
issued. The history will be compre- A
hensive enough to satisfy the most- "
active searcher after information, but, ' '$ .
not too large to be digested by the" -pc
average man of affairs. The two vol- ,
Times already issued are enough to--. y:'r
demonstrate that the complete his-. -;.
tory will be a remarkauie , addition to'.'f
the library of the professor, the busi-V'.
ness man, the newspaper man, the ' v
.politician and the student. Burrows-,
Publishing Co., Cleveland, O. .-t ;
-4
rv -
ANXIOUS TO PLEASE .
Prof. Barrett Wendell of Harvard
lightened with an anecdote an English, -
lecture. - ' i.av;
"There was a certain instructor," he " r -;tf.
said, "who was' always impressing , , , -upon
his students the need of perspicu- Z. "'-''
ity. - r ,
"A young man camo to him one day. $.,
to get back an essay that had beenr ..,
submitted. , 'v'
."""A very good essay)' said tlie Jn-C Yu
but, MivSmlthfyou should writef air
ways so that the most isnoratititefson
can understand every word you say
"The young man loolced up anxious
ly, "'What iart of my essay was not
clear to you, professor? he asked."
Jew York Tribune.
. -'
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$?
JWHHteru vrs'''Ht HHT nH
a.
fy
DO YOU KNOW that the nam , ,
Lindeman in the piano world is near- -JFL
)y a century old? " - r . vvX"
DO YOU KNOW that the first Lin- f
deman plana was made in Dresden, ""
Saxony, in 1821 by the justly noted i: -piano
ouilder, William Lindeman? -x
DO YOU KNOW that liis son Henry""
Lindeman, has for many years been',
acknowledged to be one of the great- '"
est living expertB In the scientific S '
construction of superior high grad'
pianos, and that his grandson S. G.
Lindeman, is one of the most progre's- -
sive pf the younger generation of
piano makers? , t,, c,
DO YOU KNOW that the Henr?;S
& S. G. Lind.enian piapp of tpday i"r " ,''
the best Higli Grade piano proposition.v 3-f V
the Tharlw affords when relative-" :'v',
quantity and price -are taken'' into i"; ,
conslderation? ... ;&c-i
Writelor Catalogue ahd namobf-
your nearest agent to - .z
HENBY &S. G. LINDEMAN''"
Filth Ave. & HOth Sfc.-New York, XT. S. A.C
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