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The Commoner.
VOLUME 3, NUMBER 37.
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A FEW FABLES WRIT IN WOBBLINQ RHYME.
The Sucker.
KEING THE FABLE OF THE EASY
MARK WHO NEVER LOST A
CHANCE TO BITE AT THE
OTHER FELLOW'S GAME.
Tho "sucker" is an easy prey lor
every shark that comes his way, and
bo tho "sucker" fish or man it always
is an easy plan to lure him with a
shining bait to some untoward, luck
less fate. He'll bito without a thought
or look and' swallow sinker, bob and
Look.
Jim Glumps.a ''sucker" was, and he
was just as easy as could be. And
though the hook was bright and bare
Jim Glumps would grab it then and
there; and though ho oft got taken in
he'd .bite, and bite, and bite again.
Jim Glumpd was such an easy mark
that graftors hooked him Jn the dark.
Jim thought his party was 0. K.
and would not wrong him any way;
so ho would vote the ticket straight
and whoop it up in manner great.
"Protection is tho thing for me," said
Jim, "for I. can plainly see that if I
let them tax mo high 'twill make me
richer by and by."
When ho was told that certain men
would build a motor railway when
they got a franchise without pay, Jim
said, "Just let them have their way.
iWo need improvements' such, as these,
eu give the fellows what they please."
And he thought luck had come to him
when they shirked taxes off on Jim.
;When corporation magnates cried,
"We're surely on tho people's slue,"
Jim Glumps bit at their bait and said,
"You are all right, so go ahead." And
Jim would vote their ticket straight
and kicked not when they raised the
freight. A pass to Boozevllle handed
him would square the robber deal with
Jim.
Said Jim: "When I would learn
finance straight to a banker I would
prance." So when they taxed him
awful high and hoarded all the money
by, then gave to banks so they could
charge the borrowers an interest largo
on money with which tax to pay, Jim
Glumps said, ''That's the proper way."
The "sucker," sad tho talo to tell,
thought he was treated mighty well,
and couldn't see to save his soul tho
banks e'er had him in tlie nolo; that
he paid them to get a loan of money
.that ho ought to own, and would if
-not a "sucker" born to bite at bare
hooks -night and morn.
MORAL:
'Tis plain, tho moral that I write
For heaven's sak: look before you bite.
Tht Financier.
BEING THE FABLE OF THE MAN
WHO PRETENDED TO BE FOR
- THE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO
WORK HIS GREAT GRAFT.
Les Shawlio was a schemer bold who
Qreamed and thought and wrote of
gold, and spent the main share of each
"hour in legging for the monoy power.
The peoplo in tho common ranks ho
bled to please tho favored banks, and
all his thoughts were over bent on get
ting banks their cent per cent
He shook his head and answered
"Nay" when common peoplo asked
fair play, and told them that kind
providence should glvo them better
common sense. Said ho: "Pray let
me give you- facts; you cannot pay
your share of tax unless tho banks
can lend to you the monoy when tho
tax falls due. "
"And how can banks get stuff to
lend unless X stand their special
friend and let them have In mammoth
stacks the monoy that you pay sis
tax? 'Tis plain to see with but a
glance you have no Idea of finance.
The matter is quite plain and right,
and you've no reason for a fight.
"You see, we tax you good and high
and store the money high and dry.
Then, when for money there is need
we hasten with the utmost speed to
hand it over to the banks with no
return save hearty thanks; and then
the banks from you may clear from 10
to 30 'per' a year.
"This is to all you folk a boon I
hope you'll realize quite soon; for
without such a plan as this our fi
nances would go amiss, and soon the
time would be at hand when in our
free and glorious land no money e'er
would be displayed to keep alive our
marts of trade."
Tho people then showed a desire
to rise as one man and inquire why
from their bent and aching backs he
did not lift tho heavy tax, and thus
leave money free and loose to manifest
its proper use, and not squeeze peqple
day and night until the gold was out
of sight, then lend to banks with the
intent that they should make a big
per cent
'"Tis very plain," said Shawlie then,
"that none of you are thinking men.
How could the banks live, if you
please, unless allowed your gold to
squeeze? 'Tis treason of the rankest
brand for peoplo in this wondrous
lanjl to claim a right and then ex
pect that right to bo shown some re
spect." c
MORAL:
The people will get nought but knocks
Until they use the ballot box. v
kick because the ticket made was not
up to his honest grade. And though
ho did not go and vote it was not
difficult to note that he could loudly
howl and swear the men elected were
not "square."
Thus, while John Noyes and others j
like wourd only talk and never strike,
the men at all times on the make a
leading part would always take. They
knew they had no .cause to fear that
Noyes would on the scene appear and
pry them loose by helping clean the
rotten organized machine.
MOiwAL:
When honest men 'refuse to mix
The rogues ruBh in and turn their
tricks.
j
The Reformer.
BEING THE FABLE OF THE MAN
WHO SHOT OFF HIS MOUTH
SO MUCH HE COULD NOT
SHOOT WITH THE FREEMAN'S
BALLOT.
John, Noyes was long on matting
kicks against the wrongs in politics;
and howled aloud both night and day
because things went so far astray.
And 'twas no matter how things went,
John Noyes on kicking was intent,
and thus he'd kick and scowl and
scoff and almost holler his head off.
He noted' that corruption rife was
eating out the city's life; and with a
loud and awful roar ho forthwith
raved and stamped and swore. He saw
that those who uaco the law grabbed
all the "grafts" and "gifts" they saw,
and he denounced them left and right
and said their schemes he'd always
fight.
Ho saw that judges on tho bench oft
gave the law an ugly wrench, and with
his face with rage aflame he swore
'twas blasting Freedom's name. And
down at Washington, D. C, ho saw
that on tho strict q. t the men who
went to legislate were "grafting"
early, "grafting" late.
And Noyes with voice in loudest
key declared that wch things
shouldn't bo; that honest men could
not well mix in such dod-rotted poli
tics. Ho said that clean men stood
no show to stop corruption's dirty
flow, and so ho did not havo the heart
in politics to take a part.
"Why soil my hands which now are
olean by fooling with the vile ma
chine?" asked Noyes. "I'm far away
too proud to mingle with that dirty
crowd.' And so he wont his chosen
way and wouldn't vote election tlay;
nor at the caucus did appear at any
time within the year.
But Mr. Noyes, you bet your neck.
was always right side up on deck to
The Philanthropic.
BEING THE FABLE OF THE MAN
WHO CONCEALED HIS MO
TIVES BEHIND THE MASK OF
DOING GOOD'TO OTHERS.
A man who always sought; the
chance to play a big hand in finance
conceived a plan ivhereby he might in
crease his goods a mighty sight, but
all the time he knew he must kick up
a bloomin' sight of dust; and, to con
ceal the game ho meant, called it
"benevolent intent" .
Said he: "The heathen I perceive,
tho glorious gospel should' receive;
and in my wish to save their souls I'll
cross tho ocean's heavy rolls, and car
ry to these people wild the Christian
gospel true and mild. I'll teach them
ways of truth and joy and give their
idle hands employ.
Thus did the man who framed the
game proceed to put in force- the
same. With sanctimonious mien and
air he sailed the briny seas to where
there lived a people whose fair lands
bloomed aB the rose beneath their
hands, and whoso desire was but to.
bj a people independent, free.
"I've come across the oceanrs wave
your poor benighted souls to save,"
exclaimed .the' man on plunder bent
masked as . "benevolent Id tent." "It
grieves me sore that you should be be
nighted and in misery; and so I've
come " from far away for your poor
souls to work and pray."
"But we are happy and content," the
people cried. "Why were you 'sent?
We have our schools and churches,
too; our peaceful ways we would pur
sue, and rule ourselves in freedom's
name while you at home can do tho
same. We thank vou for vonr ldni
concern, but you would better, far,
return."
"Alas,'? the missionary cried, "it's
sad that you my pfans deride. I plain
ly see that you are blind to all the
good I have in mind. So here I'll stay
and while I teach I'll just grab all that
I can reach. If I save souls from
Hades hot you'll have to give me all
you've got"
And when the natives did resiBt this
oily old philanthropist he sweDt their
land with righteous ire and laid it
waste with sword and fire. He seized
their lands, and whllo he prayed a
sanctimonious look displayed. "I do
this in God's name," he cried, and
heaped the dead on ev'ry side.
He filled tho larl with blood and
tears, disease, and rum, and awful
fears. He sacrificed his country's sons
who bore bis bright death-dealing
guns, He used' his country's flag to
hide tho thieving game for which be
tried, and called men "traitors" who
denied his right ,alL rights to override.
And when at last his game was won
he counted all tte wrongs he'd done
and said: "Well, Christian duty and
our destiny walk hand In hand. I
Diamonds
ON CREDI
WtlllrnTT T"
unii 15 only
I one stare of nr.
that of extreme
porerty here
Diamonds areout
of place. The
wearing of a Dla.
Blond U ntlmi
fade evidence of J
easy prosperous!
circumstances Ml
not of actuail
weaiui. a DIa.
tiiMf fy.yCWZd Bm I "onuisuieoaagei
01 prosperity.and
wneuier in dusi.
1 , TWPT II ness or society, a
v i't j 1 requisite ox suc
l . vucauc
cessful you must
look successful,
and to look sue j
cessful you must)
wear a Diamond
t&fjelsOTTlSEasy Payment PLAN
has removed every diiuculty in the way of an honest per-
son who desires to wear Diamonds. Mo matter how far '
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from our illustrated catalogue.and have any Diamond tiny,
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watch or other article handed to them at their own door
and left for examination. All charges for delivery will be
prepaid, and If the article is sot entirely satisfactory, your
monev win De Dromnuv reiunaea. it vou meier to ex
1 amine the article before paying any money whatever, we I
will send trie uiamona to your express oince, wnere it it 1
n s&cU
ed than you can secure elsewhere for spot cash,?
ymenr. anu taice tne uiamona.
or ice
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vou can I
In either ease vou will have eicht full months for pa vine
the balance in equal monthly payments. Remember,
tbat wo pay all delivery charges, and refund
flrt payment promptly oh return of the goods
Britain a rcaaonsBie time.
We are the Unrest house in the world in our line of bus
iness and oneof the oldest (Established 1856). We refer j
to any bank in America. For instance: ask you local bank
how we stand in the business world. They will refer to I
their Dun or Dradstreet book of commercial ratings, and
tell vou that no house stands hieber In credit, promptness
or reliability, and that our representations may be accept
ed without question. WE GIVE A GUARANTEE
CERTIFICATE with every Diamond; make liberal
exchanges at any time, allowing full price paid for a'
Diamond in exchance for other rroods or a forcer one.
I On cash sales we make a most startling proposition. We
I -actually permit you to wear a Diamond of your own selec
tion rnr nn -ntirr VMratan exrwnsc 01 less uiauicn leuu
per weeks then If you wish to return It, we refund all of
your money less ten per cent. Write for full particulars.
Youwlll find our prices from 10 to SO per cent lower
than those of other houses, for we buy and sell more DIa
mono iuii-uy fWv
n-hrr nnnxe m Jia: kj.
our line .of bus!
ness and carry 'a
'stock of nearly a -
million .dollar's
worth1 tof lobsa
!,, and mounted
write to-dav 'for
.our beautiful cat
aicgue ana our
booklet wnicn
i auAwcis evetv rrm vBBarBarBBBBBaBrBBBBBBKrauv.i
I - --". m KVT--B-r.-K J-BH-'.VH
I question utu you i
could possibly '
ask in regard to
our prices, pooas,
terms ana sys
tem. It is worth
Its weight In gold
to any Intending
purchaser.
isfne
LOFTIS BIROS. & CO.
Diamond Ixnoorters and
Manufacturing Jewelers
Dept, L-69, 9S, 94, 96 and 98 State St
CHICAGO ILL., 17. S. A-
Opposite Marshall Field & Co.
Copyright 1903, Loftls Pros. & Co.
gave to them the blessed word at
mouth of gun, anl point of sword, and
it is only just and fair to take their
all to make me square."
MORAL:
When greed on plunder wide is bent
It shrieks: "Benevolent intent!"
Dispatches from Buffalo, N. Y., un
der date of September 25, report that
Mrs, Jefferson Davis is seriously ill.
Camphor is a poison, and yet it ij
largely used In alleviating pain and
curing sores. -It is a nervous irritant;
it taken in small doses it acts like
alcohol and opium. If taken in largo
quantities it excites the nervous sys
tem even to the extent of camphor
spasm and death. On these accounts it
should not be used internally without
the advice of a physician.
Don't take the other MIowV weight on yoar grain and live stock. With one of onr
SSSS' Italian, 5-Ton Scales & $29.75&JffS$
i.ii. uwmui, iisiTM money ana Riven eatlaiaetlon. Koia unstr ." irr.
T u,PAK'TrKKE TBI At. BU Bearings, InterohanpeaDi i -.
EillL02,,n,YBnd ?eM? No LoOM Weight. Beet Oonstra?toB. No rU to yoa. I
JPnfffiL ir tmde ou. S?n ere6t " TonWelf, rio Axpfert needed. "SK-ftr? I
HLliiEJilggCiNTILE CO., 141 W.gth KPJLlL2JJiyl
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