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The Commoner
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VOLUME 3, NUMBER 27.
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Recompen.
Sometimes the days are dreary and tho
sky 1s foil of gloom;
'And sometimes the web gets tangled in
life's over busy loom,
But I .thank the Lord I'm living while
the flowers are in bloom,
And I hear my babies laughing in
' the morning.
Sometimes tho load grows heavy and
I bow beneath its weight;
'And sdmotimes the road grows rough
er at a most alarming rate,
But I thank tho Lord I'm living and I
wave my hand at fate,
When I hear my babies laughing in
tho morning.
Sometimes tho nights are weary and
the shadows full of care;
'And sometimes I think I'm bearing
more of' trouble than my share,
But I thank tho Lord I'm living to
onjoy a rapture rare
That of hearing babies laughing in
. the morning.
Sometimes I grow downhearted and
my plans will all go wrong;
'And sometimes blue thoughts will
gather in a swarming, nagging
throng,
But I thank tho Lord I'm living and
'twill not be very long
Ere I hear my babies laughing in
tho morning.
"it's because doy shove themselves
to th' front so fast dat they keep
ahead uv do chin tr'immin's."
A Narrow Ecap.
"Gee!" ejaculated Walker Knitt,
rolling over with a groan. "Dat wuz
de worst I ever had."
"What's de matter, Walker?" quer
ied his partner, Hunter Carr.
"I dreamt dat a feller wuz insistin'
dat I take a job in his soap factory, an'
all dat saved me wuz de engine blow
in' off steam. It woko me up."
rtmlitrfe afcr.'the 'foil. What he saw
thrilled him with delight, and calling
his servants to his aid thoy soon -uncovered
-a wide area. .. .
It was strewn with human "bones,
bits pf metal, parts of wheels,fsXcCfbns
of rubber tube, metal tanks that gave
off a peculiar odor, coiled springs .and
twisted steel wire. ' . ...
"Aha!" shrieked tho explorer.
"What is it, boss?" queried-one of
the servants.
"A glorious discovery!" cried the
wise man. "This is what the ancients
called an automobile track, and it ex
plains what they meant when they
wrote and talked about 'race suicide.' "
And a few weeks later various col-
leges conferred upon the -great dis
coverer degrees that exhausted .the en
tire alphabet : '
Flnaaclerleng.
Farmer Asede "Hello, Sugarman;
what's aigs wuth today?"
Grocer Sugarman "Eight cents a
dozen."
Asede "An' what's spring chickens
wuth?"
Sugarman "Two-fifty a dozen."
Asede "Git ap! So long, Sugar
man. I'll take these aigs home, an'
come back tomorrer."
The Negro Question.
"Say, boss; , is flat watahmlllion
:lpe?"
Proprietor.
"Own any real estate?" queried tho
assessor.
"Two achors, tooth and toe," re
plied tho sufferer.
Dealing la Futures.
"So you and Jack are engaged, are
you? When will the engagement be
announced?"
"Just as soon as Jack finds it out"
;- '' ""
Agricultural.
"Hollo!" said the old ox to thri vonriP-
one. i"How do you feel today?" "
"I fool way up in gee," replied the'
junior ox.
Whereupon tho senior ox indulged in
a -merry haw haw.
A Puzzle.
"I'm longing," remarked the man
on the end seat,-"to have one mysteri
ous thing explained to me."
"Been trying hotel hash?" queried
the would-be joker.
"No. What I want explained is this:
Why is it that when I am digging for
bait I have to spade up about an acre,
while I always turn out a million
when I'm spading up a dinky little
flower bed for my wife."
Modcra Definitions.
Trust A necessary organization fdr
mutual business protection.
Labor Union A traitorous organi
zation for the purpose of loot
Tariff Revision A promise-baited
sucker trap.
Water A liquid compound intended
for stock floating purposes.
Traitor One who ' thinks moro of
right than of expediency.
Strenuous Life Dodging duty.
Failure.
An Dxpert Opinion.
"Do you consider politics a dirty
business ?" wo asked of Senator Grab
all. "Well," replied tho senator, gazing
thoughtfully into space, "I've cleaned
up a good deal In it"
Those Little Brothers.
Little Willie (to sister's caller)
"Why, Mr. Thirstleigh, I thought you
.were in Europe."
Mr. Thirstleigh "What made you
think that, Willie?"
Willie "Why night before last papa
said you wero half seas over, and I
didn't think you had time to get
back."
The Secret Out.
"I hov diskivered," declared Fatigue
Forrars, rolling over out of tho path
of a straggling sunbeam, "why so
many uv our successful financial mag
nates hev whiskers only on de side uv
their faces."
"Yep?" replied" Bill the Tank, with
n accont that demanded the rest of it
Fired wjth zeal tho missionary
sought to bestow upon the heathen
people the true civilization.
"But wo are already civilized," inr
sisted the heathen. -
"How can that bo?" queried the mis
sionary. . ,
Beckoning him to follow, one of the
heathens guided the missionary to a
fire-scarred tree on the edgo of the
deep forest
"That," said tho heathen leader,
"is convincing proof that we are al
ready civilized.
But the missionary was nonplussed
and asked for an explanation.
"That's where we burned a man to
death the other day," said the guide.
"Tomorrow wo meet in the grove to
complete a deal whereby we sell our
children to a man who is going to
make things, and already we have
benevolently assimilated a weaker
tribe to the north and make them nay
tribute to us."
Realizing that ho was indeed too
late, tho missionary departed for the
I 3903.
Tho archaeologist's spade struck
something that gave forth a metallic
sound and his soul was filled with
glee.
Dropping to his knees he pulled hur-
- P. O. D.
The organs now strive to explain,
Since Tulloch told his tale.
A worried look is worn by Payne,
Since Tulloch told his. tale.
Tho very dickens is to pay,
And Perry Heath has sailed away;
There's trouble down at Oyster bay,
Since Tulloch told his tale.
G. 0. P. organs haVe the blues, ' '
Since Tulloch told his tale. "
They're howling like1 the Tery ;deuce,
Since Tulloch told his tale.
Thoy gaze-in fear upon the rocks,
And fear, td meet some awful shocks
That will remove their army riox, '
Since Tulloch told his tale. ' , ;
The. once proud, ship has sprung new
leaks,
'Since Tulloch told his tale.
Its captain now in whispers speaks 1
Since. Tulloch told his tale.
She's drifting nearer to the beach,
The helmsman stutters in his speech.
"And grafters have, .begun-to "peach,"
pince .xuiiqcn 101a nis uue.
Brain Leaks
True charity entails sacrifice.
Despair flees when Hope walks ,in.
Envy is . the futt measure 'of small
minds. '.''' - ' ;
1 ' .
If the home is right the boy is very
apt to be.- 1 . . ,.
The easiest way tq do .a thing Is
usually the worst ' r
A cheap politician is a dear, invest
ment for the people. . , , ' ,
Giving tho Lord lip- service is adding
to Satan's ammunition.
You can get very little good out' of
life until you put some in it . J ;
Our children are mischievous; oth
er's children are simply mean.
Our eccentricities are signs of boor
ishness when exhibited by others.'
The man who waits for the last
laugh often has to take it out in
weeping. . ,
Some business men'take their trou
bles home with them, and their joys
down town,
Some men emulate the foolishness of
Solomon and imagine -themselves to
be as wise.
Pessimism consists in diligently
searching for something you are afraid
you will find.
We know of some sinners vhn rrr
( sist in cultivating .voices that should
do narvestea.
It's all right to How your own
horn, providing you do not keep on
forever blowing it in B flat
"Cast your burdons on the Lord"
does not mean that you aro not to
carry your joys to him, too.
Every man plays a foolish engage
ment once In a wMe, and when ho
does it is usually in public
The average-mains r quite certain ho
could make a- fortune if some one
would only give him start
The cistern into7which nothing goes
if soon pumped dry. The life into
which no good. is. put never yields any
good.
Somehow or' other" ?most of us never
vnfc RH.W the hfihv-Vmt rniill on,. ..
smart things as we read in the news-
Waves 'of., reform, like waves from
the ocean, may recede, but they al
ways leave something worth Kennim?
upon the beach.
Sometimes we see, a boy acting like
we did in -our youtlif ul days, and then
wo wonder how on earth it happened
that we were allowed to live on.
One "of the aniuslng things con
nected with thd hot spell is to hear a
man who don't know the difference
between alfalfa and salsify say, "Purty,
hot, but mighty good corn weather."
- 11 - in -, r 1 i.
Books Received. .,
The World Which 'Now Is and the
World to Come, including Bible As
tronomy and tho New Creation, by Eli
J. 'Holers, A. M., Woodland, Cal.;
price 40vcehts.
The Laborer and the Capitalist, by
Freeman Otis Willey; published by
the National Economic League, 13
Astor Place, Ne,w York. ,
Jesus and Modern Life, by M. J.
Savage; published by George H. El
lis, 272 Congress st, Boston, Mass.
Pour Great Question by Minot J.
Savage; published by Geo. H. Ellis,
141 Franklin' vst, Boston, Mass.; price
25 cents.
The Irrepressible Conflict Between
Two- World-Theories, by Rev. Minot
J. Savage; published ,by Arena Pub.
Co.. Boston, Mass.:. price 50 cents.
A Lily of France 1 A historical ro
mance of the 16th Century, by Caroline
Atwater Mason; price $1.10 net; post
paid $1.25; published by the Griffith
fy, Rowland. Press, Philadelphia, Pa.
. Dickey' Downy: "The 'Autobiography
of a Bird, by yirginia Sharpe Patter
son; American. Baptist Publication So
ciety, Philadelphia, a.
. A Wind Flower, by Caroline At
water Mason; American .-Baptist Pub
lication Society, Philadelphia, Ta.
"Beautiful, Joe, by Marshal Saunders;'
American Baptist Publication Society,
Philadelphia, Pa.
Bub and Sis: A 20th century New
England, story, by' Simon. Durst;
Wobnsocket, R. I.
Unfrequented Paths: Sons of nature,
labor and men, by George' E'. McNeill;:
published ,by James H.'West 'Co., Bos
ton, Mass
Out of Kishineff,. the Duty of the
American People to the Russian Jew,
by Wi C. Stiles, 3. D.; G. W. Dilling
ham, publishers, New York; $1.20 net;
postage 14c.
The Chieftains and Satires, by Val
entine Brown, Portland, Ore.
. Prince Hagen: A phantasy, by Up
ton Sinclair; L. C. Page & Co., Bos-,
ton, Mass.
.The Negro InGeorgls.
Tho attention of those hysterical in
dividuals who assert that the negro is
not well treated in the south is invited
to tho action of the Georgia legisla
ture, which has just defeated a bill
having fo'r its object the separation of
the school fund of the' state in such a
way that only money derived from
taxes paid by negroes would be avail
able for tho support and maintenance
of negro schools. The negroes pay an
inflnitesimally small portion of the
tax and had the bill in question passed
the schools for colored children would
have been closed. The vote on the
measure was 230 against and 59 fo.
Houston Post
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