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II
The Commoner.
VOLUME 3, NUMBER .-
10
jer $mmowot
That Dorr.
Thnt dog? Tic boaBtfl no pedigree.
Juwt dog, nno yellow, too.
For i)tnity no great Bhtiltcs to see,
lint, lot ri o vuy to you
UoV winh liH weight lu jewels rare
Bccaiuu IM hnvo ycu know
Di'.o bis si-raggly, yeKow hair,
Tlio baby lovea him so.
Watch dog? He isn't worth a cent
For anything liko that.
On gnawing bones ho is Intent;
Ho wouldn't chaHo a rat.
Ho's in my way, disturbs repose
By barking to and fro.
But ho is sai'o, for well he knows
Tiie baby loves him so.
Ho buries bones all o'er tho lawn;
Ho barks without oxcuso.
You d think to hear him bark at dawn
I-To'tl baric his Innards looso.
Ho'd bo a nulsanco, I've no doubt,
To you, and have to go.
But wo, well wo can't do without
The baby loves him so.
That dog! Ho's ugly; yes, I know.
But worthless? Say now, seo!
Tho finest konnols cannot show
A dog "worth moro than ho.
Good points? Ho hasn't got a one;
His yellow coat is rough;
But baby thinks ho's lots of fun.
She loves him that's enough.
Blissful State.
A young man who lived down in Tonn.
To a charming young lassie said,
When.
Your oyes of clear blue
I am happy clear through,
For the one I'm in lovo with so Then.
Hit Reason.
"Do you believe in tho election of
senators by direct vote of tho peo
plo?" wo askod Senator Grabball.
"Well, there are some objections to
that plan. In tho first placo I do not
think it would bo right to make tho
peoplo responsible for tho kind of sen
ators wo have, and secondly it would
add to tho duties of tho peoplo. I
rathor think tho present plan is the
best." , , i i
Danger.
L. I. En wato "Great heavens, pal,
don't dare i drink dat stuff!"
Wansa Handout "What's do mat
ter Li? Dls is cider."
L. I. Enwato "I know it, pal; but
don't you see it's workiu'?"
Fate.
The multi-millionairo sat in his li
brary, his head in his hands and his
foot on the fendor. The rich man was
musing.
"I have millions," said ho to hlni
self. "I can buy tho richest viands
and pay for tho coal to cook 'em.
Pato do foi gras bah, I could buy it
by tho ton. I've a French chef who
is a wondor. My larder Is always
well stocked. Gastronomically speak
ing, I hayo all that a man could de
sire, save ono thing."
Tho rich man paused in his musings
and groaned.
"Yes, I've plenty of good things to
eat,' ho muttored, "but what's tho
use. What's the good of gaining tho
power to buy all kinds of grub if a
fellow loses his stomach while prose
cuting tho task?" A
Reaching for a dyspepsia tablet tho
rich man arose and wonttout after a
bowl of millc and two dinkey little
graham crackers.
Brain Lcak5.
When tho scowl fails, try a smile.
The courteous man is never friend
less. '
True charity docs not need a press
agent.
It requires no especial genius to be a
critic.
Be- sure you're right and then be
careful.
Men who worship self are the worst
idolators.
Old age has no terrors for a clear
conscience.
The dead get too large a proportion
of tho llowers.
Laughter and lovo are tho best lub
ricants of life.
"Is it right?" not "Will it pay?"
is the question.
There is "no room for fear in the
heart full of hope.
Do good because it is right, not
merely because it is a duty.
It's no use to pray for strength if
you do not exercise your muscle.
It's a wise husband who knows what
to do during housecleaning time.
Tear Down has its eyes on the past;
Build Up has its eyes on tho future.
This would bo a dreary world -without
grandmothers and maiden aunts.
The .things wo .jvould rathor forgot
arc always the things easiest remem
bered.' Tfreman who is in lovo -with him
self is never in danger of finding a
rival.
Speaking of politics tho man who
takes no interest usually lacks prin
ciple. Too many men take off their good
nature when they doff their office
coats.
If peoplo would do as wo say and
not as we do this would be a bettor
world.
Never mourn about the unaccom
plished task of yesterday that can be
completed today.
The man who sees nothing but evil
in the world should discard his im
moral spectacles.
Most men wouldn't be able to tell
by reading their tombstones who are
occupying their graves.
When a boy .begins to -wash his
wrists tho wise parent will ascertain
if tho cause is a good girl.
Tho man who tolls us how may be
all right, but we have moro regard
for the man who shows us how.
Tho difference between arsenic and
gossip is that tho former poisons tho
stomach and tho latter tho mind.
Some mon keep so busy making ex
cuse for their failures that they have
no time in which to make successes.
There are times when words are of
no avail, but novor a time when the
hanuclasp of a friend is not welcome.
Don't measure a man's goodness by
the way he treats his dogs and horses
watch how he treats his wife and chil
dren. When money becomes a man's god,
ho sacrifices everything man should
hold dear upon the altar of his di
vinity. The man who is loudest in declaring
that ho can quit a bad habit is the
man who clings to it most tenaciously.
A great many people do "not realize
the difference between pleasure and
happiness until pleasure's headache
time comes.
Why Ho's There.
A little south by west, you know; a
little south by west,
Past Honolulu, farther yet, till 'foro
the transports rest,
You're anchored in Manila bay, where
Montojo wont down,
An then your, kit an' you an' all is
in Manila -town.
An' at night you'll set a-thinkin'
'Neath the stars, a-blinkin', blinkin',
Lookin' at the crowdin' niggers most
ly black, tho' some are chrome,
That if bolos fail to hit you,
An' the cnol'ry doesn't git you,
An' a thousan' things don't happen
maybe sometime you'll git home.
They camp you .in tho hills awhile to
acclimate you some,
An' your cuss words seems so futile
't you're wishin' you was dumb,
An' your rations are so crummy that
they makes yer stomach balk,
An' so strong that 'less you tie 'em
they are apt ter up an' walk!
When yeh stopped at Honolulu,
An' yeh seen the hula-hula
That's the dance the brown anakas
do an' strum the soft guitar
It was rhythmical, entrancing
Music sweet an' fairy dancin',
Till 'twas "all aboard!" an' westward,
south by west, an' here you aro!
Oh, Taft he gits his thousands, twenty
thousand ov'ry year.
It's only thirteen per a month if
you're a volunteer
An' the high-priced clerks are haughty
settin' on their office siool
They've a relative in congress an' tho
'listed man's a fool!
An tho olorlr Vina hn niiisrirlh vl
But the only thing 'at we do
Is ter polish up our 'coutrements an'
hog our quinine straight;
An' each rookie learns the hayfoot,
Till he feels he's gittin' splay-foot;
For the fightin', that don't hurt him;
it's the wait,' an' wait, an' wait!
Yes, we wait till we are yeller, an' the
fever's in our blood!
An' we see the caribous plowin', plow
in' in tho mud!
An we sneak off by our lonesome,
'neath the feather duster trees,
An' we think, till thinkin' hurts us,
with our arms around our knees!
Sez the surgeon ter a rookie:
"Look a-here," ho sez, "by hooky!
Don't go round like that, bareheaded,
you will cook your brains! You
hear?"
Sez the rookie: "That don't f oiler,
An' yeh needn't raise no holler,
'F I had brains I wouldn't be hero;
there's no danger; never fear!"
J. M. Lewis, in Houston Post
Pedigrees Made to Order.
There is a shop in Fifth avenuo
which sells pedigrees and coats of
arms to those people who have been
too busy making money to keep their
genealogies posted up to date. In
leaving an order for a pedigree you
simply tell your name and as much of
the family history as you remember
If you happen to know in what parish
or community in the European coun
try your grandfather was born it gives
easy sailing. The shop contains a
complete history of surnames in all
the principal European countries. Af
ter your family is located and traced
as far back as possible the ingenious
maker of pedigrees gets to work on
the coat of arms. He pitches on tho
most nicturpsmin rr. m. .. .
1 done by "a T toreta- and "f
makes a device of it Thus if
some ono of your long-planted fore
bears has marched with Peter the Her
mit ho will rig up something like a
cross eclipsing the crescent You get
your steel die with this thing cut into
it and a neatly written pedigree7.
When you leave tho shop "you are a
duly annointed membef of the elect
Kansas City Journal.
Split Hickory vs. Sawd.
A vohielo is only
ns strong as its
weakest part. A
wheel with hub
spokes and felloes
m a d o from the
strongest wood, if tho wood is sawed
across tho grain, has little strongth. Tho
"Split Hickory" line of vehicles as their
name indicates, is constructed of split
hickory not sawed and is of greatest
strength and
enduranco
strong in
all its parts. w ""
To obtain thoso snlendid. fifrnnrr and
stylish vehicles, sond to Station 138, tho
Ohio Carriage Mfg, Co., Cincinnati, O.,
for complete illustrated catalogue. Their
prices are low, quality high, and their
thirty days' free trial offer is genuine
and bona fide.
ri
THE AZTEC.
A PERIODICAL
OF INTEREST.
Short Stories of Mexican Life Written
by thoso who know.
Printed every month
for tho Public
AZTEC PUBLISHING COMPANY, aa, ladiMtrla
No. 15, Mexico City, flcxlco.
Subscription ?1.00 yearly TJ. S. currency. Single
. , copios 10 cents.
Pntcntcd and Unpatented Inventions Bought ana'
and Sold. Qulnn & Co., St. LouIb, Mo.
S9fl WJSEK Straight salary and oxpensea
Sr r t0.mcn "with rig to introduce our Poultry
Mixture in country ; year's contract ; weekly par.
Address, with stamp, Monarch lila. Co . Em
lias, Springfield, 111. B "
mSS18, -125 ??r c.ent proflt-Scl,a t0 ry plumber.
5?Mor?er' bi2sa,ltl1. mechanic orfarmor. Ono
,n?hd t7.0,1,01115 a,nontn' ftEcnts clearlnj? f375 a
month. LuthorBros. 138 West Av. N. MUwaukcol Wis.
Edison
Phonographs "
At Cut Trices.
1903 Gem t 0.00 Phon
ograph at 7.00.
1003 htantlard 120.00
Phonograph at $15.
1003 Homo $30 Phon-
uKruim ai iftiJ.sa.
1903 Concert $75Phon
, ograph at 150.25.
cdordalt'aW1 2CAAch- Nowmould.
rccoraTnmrti?nChM ,loast thro dozen
wX? 1 nwi lJ0 Purchased with oach outfit
lWJ?lMw$ 'or all BtylS ffiSU J?
"..no uu 0U1J)UI!S, I
iflli W1TTMANN CO., Lincoln, Neb. I
Jjillll1
r
fHII&'IIl JAUUUT V AIATT. lu .
nlUoiU Gar, Banjo, Mandolin, Violin, Cornet!
Ad., n ?2,di0P XrC0 catalB and testimonials.
"' """ Aun, n. x.
Ranier Grand Hotel
S attle, Wash.
i
Ranier Grand lint! rv
H.B. DUNBAR. Pr.,.dn, d r.
WWKfVHTW'lJ'Ldlta Alt'tT
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