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The Commoner.
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Vol. a, No. 49.
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Whether Common or Dot
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A Lang- Time Ago.'
- -.. ' .' -I ft
This "world power" business Is causing us,; woo, t .
Don't you know. ' e '"' -: .
It's hard on the doctrine laid down by Monroe, i. , .
And that's so.
In days that are gone no time would we w.iqte; ' ' Vj ' .5
The land-grabbing nations would quickly be chased
From this hemisphere with the greatestof haste- "" ir
But that was a long time; ago. , v ,; .
Bravo Stephen Decatur, in long vanished years,.
At Algiers, ;'" "
Toward the bold pirates see, swiftly he steers!
Amid cheers. . ' .
"But we've changed the methods, and-now: we. pursue!: i. -
A course that is wrong, and fcr JJneJeSslm ew,. -jjM
Wepension rank robbers, like those In Sum
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... .. .. . 1 i.i-"'.,H'MJ .'
And tue sultan our nag louuiy jeers. ;
This "manifest destiny" 'bout Which we blow,. ' .
'Don't you know, " '' ' "
Means holes in the doctrine laid down by, Monroe, ,.r ...
And that's so. ' .
Once wo could remark with Our words ringing "clear
"You monarchs of Europe, up anchor and steer"''-' '
Away from our sisters in this hemispherp77T . -,-j
But that was a long time ago.
Our forefathers brave fought for justice and right,
With their might.
.u-uu. iuwi i,jj.w (jiuuiu ui u a vug, nwv j-iita"" '
- -Saw. the,, light,. . ,j.
But wo have forgotten the lessons. bey taught; .
m . i-T- . J J.5 J.1- .. - 11 1 i5
...Vwdnowij j.jni'nnauon uiey pauenuy wro
Andfor greed and empire we've schemed and
And laughed
- . .. .
For freedom and justice we once
' As you know.
And Liberty's torch o'er the ?
; j., ...' And -that's so:
'For rights that are equal wp
"A'nd' denounced the vile habit
To sister republics we gave the
''" ' ".- ""' But that was
This ."thrown in our laps" is a-specics of
,. L; ' And of 'craft, - :
.. "At 'Which burV'forefatfiers ao'sQofjnfiilly laughed
louu, and cuaireu.
ffl&m .
weVe7f6ught,-v?-:
to scorn Liberty s plight' ;- ;
struck a.blomiUlUr-
vorld shed i&SJ1Sj- 4,-,
- v..:.w?m ? .?-!-rj
on-Se took alftafcjglk, . : J !
glad harxirlkim-' Tr
vc i. 2i''' . ;iri,l . .-i.J.
U lUUg HI
tn -in n
f .n-tu-'i, tJMiM: C'
,1 tt,i
Once wo could boast loudly, "The starr?' Hdgwmeanssu '' V3-A
Equality, freedom and right in ail' scenes, 'nrJt
But now that we've grabbed off thj far Philippines....Hi..i..;
It seems that on "emplro'' we're daft . m i - i
Once we could stand firm by the words' bf "Moiirdo:"v f ' ' ' '
As you know. r -tUjv .., . . .
And to back them up bravely we never vwere slow .tU.
And that's so. ". s;:... .'.r'' '
Once we never mixed in monarchical schemes, ' .. r
And visions of empire ne'er troubled our dreams,' - ' '"
But, judged by events that are recent, it seems . . .
That that "was a long t;lme' ago..
I Hi
1.
"Ho gave his affianced an engage
ment ring for a Christmas present"
?'Well, what's that got to do with his
profession?"
"The ring was sheer paste.'.'
Justified.
"What makes Richleigh walk so
proudly this morning?" ..
"Santa Claus put a -pint- of coal in
his stocking Christmas." .-
Overlooked Something, i
She wandered down the broad church
aisle
Just as she schemed ten minutes
late. ,
A dangling cloak tag raised a smile t
"Great Bargain. Price $5.98."
i
A Plain Cue.
"Your honor, there canj)e no doubt
about this man's insanity."
"What grounds have you for mak
ing that statement?" , .-.-;.-
"Why, -your, honor, the -poor man, has
twin sons, and on Christmas he gave
each of them a drum and a tin horn."
Heartless.
Knott A. Cpyne "This1 is'meah'
an' crool world, pal." y. ,;.
Broken Flatte "Wofs de meahin' 6
dis pessimism Knotty?" c '
Knott A. Coyne 'T struck -a bloke
for sdmethin' t' celebrate Chris'mas
wid anv, he grinned ah gitfe me a box
o' cigars w'at'his wife had 'give him."
'. .Kismet.
Hushed the sound of' mirth and
' laughter, -
Dimmed the waves -tapers' light;
It is how the morning after ' ' ,
And the nursery floor's: a sight. '
Papa ne'er 'a word-has' spoken . t
Since the morning meal was through,
For the Christmas toys are broken:
And tfie bills are coming duei-
i- . . .m :.
brain Leaks.
It's, a waste of time to pray o. any
thing, youi will not. work fpr. u ; .-
The value of a gift depends alto
gether 'upon' the spirit of'the'givet. r
" i .' , ; - . . - i f
You:can't play, with monarchy with
out losing respect for liberty.
; "Some men are like trolley cars1
;they stop, when, the central power
plant shuts down. . ' '
-' . -. ' i
Because they cannot eradicate, ppv-j
erty some-men .refuse to-gfye. ft hungry i
man a -bowl ot soup; . - . m- -
There is1 something' wrong wiVh '.the '.
nearp qi cno.mp wnq negiecis warm
ing' the brfdlebits4 these frbs'ty morn-
About kthe -greatest case of s.ej-de--
ception is .that. o the man who dyes his .
-whiskers and. imagines that nobody
knows it... , t . t
It's- easy for a boy to forget alWut
the kindlings, but he t never orgfets to
hang up his stocking the night be
fore Qhristmas. ,
The right kind of a father always
gets a receipt in.full for all Christmas
mpney. expended when he hears the
happy shouts of his children. v
Will M. Maupin.
a certain other creature of the water
which I have in mind. In your column
you make the claim, in today's Issue,
that the well-known terrapin is unique
in having its name spelled correctly
in as jnany as five different ways. It
you wish to become acquainted with
a creature which far surpasses the
terrapin in this respect, please look
up 'maskalongo' in the Century dis
tionary, p. 3646. I fear your terrapin
will have to hide its diminished head,
so far as multitudinous spelling is
concerned, when it comes to compare
notes with what I have" been accus
tomed to call muscalonge.' By refer
ence to the dictionary you will ;nhd
tlat there are nearly twd dozen differ
ent ways of spelling 'maskalonge ,ah.d
I am inclined. to, think' that this intdr
esting member has the record in this
respect' ' ', . ' ,' '.; T". ' '
And here .is what:. the. dictionary
snows i j
Maskalonge.
. Mascalonge. ,
, Maskalunge. , ' ,
Muscalonge. .
Muskalohge. "
.Musltallnge.; ',
Moskalohge. T".
. -Masquallohge,. .
, Maskallongev . .
MuskellungeV . '
Masq'alionge. ,
Mas.callonge
. Mosconongei' j
Maskinopge., " '..
Maslcanonge. t . t r
-MasKenonge.
Masque longe.,- j v . ...-: ;
Mas.kenozha.', ...-. , ;
. Maskininoje. ...-.
Her.e .are nineteen way sofj-spelling
the name, of this kind of'pikjf. Besides
there .is jthe mascalongus, a subgenus
of pike.. , The,, word masquallqpge. sim
ulates tthe Trenchmosque' allonejWhich
means .longv face, .-' .. r r-r';
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,'.rtJiv.'.;v -"-snfl) y t :
Ortat Scbeme.
'Mr. Cumso has got a great head."
"What makes you think so?"
'"He attached a cyclometer to the
enow Bhovel and gives his son a dime
every time "he scores a century."
True If Not Rhyme.
An esteemed contemporary rejoices
because, as it claims, there, is-no rhyme
fcfnr "Mfmrnn Innlrl'nn l WUn mnn font-
r - vvi uwuviiuu. j. uu utciD laut
that the aforesaid esteemed contempo
rary is an administration' organ proves
that it is wrong. ,
And here's the proof: , ..'.'"
The Monroe doctrine '".'.
Was lately knocke'd in. '
- I r .
! . . . . 1 1- f f .
Profe35lonk). 'v ,
"Wrlterly can never, forget that he
is an editorial writer." . '',',.
"What's he been doing now?"
Spelled Nineteen Ways. '
The New Orleans Times-Democrat
has the following in regard to the
spelling of the word Muskalonge. Those
who have tried to catch the fish will
probably attribute their failure to their"
lack of . knowledge of orthography.
They didn't spell it right and the fish
wouldn't bite. The Times-Democrat
says: - . . .
.. 'I the terrapin has only five ways
tit which to spell his name," said an
J observant man, "he cannot cope with
: " ' !- .A.Siyjgestion. r --r,'.
..Of; course thV natives, of the PhU
ipin6s :have been charged with some
Inhuman practices, but would it not
he well to recall the troops, for a lme
and le;thbml!q'perate, against the coal
operators of Pennsylvania? Joplih
(M,o.) Q.lobe.. t t ' - . ...'
i it in ill i " i i ii 'i " !
' . , r 1U 11AKU ......
i , .... t j ...... .
v I.trI!ylloiTilnk: AboutTood :
. Thej. unthinking life" some , people
Jead- often causes, trouble and siokness
as .illus.tratejfl, in the experience of a
.lady who rresjdgsun.FopdiJu laac, Wjis;
i"" "Aboul. tf our years, ago I suffered,
dreadfully frpni, indigestion, always
having, eaten what'eyer I- liked, not
thi.nk.ingi :of -41)0 digestible qualities.
This indigestion caused palpitation of
;the heaxt ,so: ibadly Ij could not walk
up a fight of stairs without sitting
down once or.; twice to regain breath
and strength. , :
I became alarmed and tried dieting,
"wore my clothes very loose., and many
other remedies, but found no relief.
. Hearing of the virtues of Grape
Nuts arid Postiim Food Coffee, I com
menced using them in place of my us
ual breakfast of coffee, cakes, or hot
biscuit, and in one week's time 4 was
.relieved of sour stomach and other
ills attending indigestion. In a month's
time my heart was performing its
.functions naturclly and I could climb
stairs and hills and walk long dis
tances. I gained ten pounds in this short
time and my skin became clear and
I completely regained iny health and
strength. I continue to use Grape
Nuts and Postum for I feel I owe my
good health entirely ta their use. I
like the delicious flavor of Grape-Nuts
and by making Postum according to
directions, it cannot be distinguished
from the highest grade of' coffee."
Name given by PostUm Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.