The Commoner.
Nov. 7, 190a,
15
GOOD SHORT STORIES I
. I
TIm Bright Side;
"What an optimist Blnksley is"
"Yea., It's pretty hard to discourage
him,"
"When he fell and broke his leg last
week he lay there and smiled while
they were bringing: the ambulance
Finally some one asked him if it didn't
hurt. 'Oh, yes' he said, 'But I can't
help being tickled because it's: the left
one I have a bad corn on the little
toe o that foot and it'll have a chance
to go away while I'm laid up.' " Chi
cago. Record-Herald.
A Cka tie; Hint.
The head of the house had already
played the genial' and kindly host for
two weeks beyond the time of the in
vitation sent to. the third cousins once
removed who were his guests.
"I can't stand this- much longer," he
said behind closed doors to his wife.
"But what can be done? They are
under our roof"
"That's all right I'll give them a
little hint, very gently."
"I haven't much confidence In your
little hints. Hadn't you better leave
the matter to mW"
"Why should I leave the matter to
you? I guess I can manage "a little
thing like that."
"Then suppose neither of us does
anything. They have seen almost ev
erything in town. 'They must be
thinking of going home pretty soon."
"Now, don't you worry. They'll
never guess- what I'm after. There
won't be occasion for the least par
tide of offense."
"What a beautiful day," the third
cousin, once removed' greeted him at
the breakfast the next morning;-
"Yes;" he responded; "a beautiful
day fcr couWns to go home." New
.York Sun.
The Wrene. Gums.
"Now I ratherr pride myself on my
ability to' read' character,' said the man
who waeF given to.- buying detective
tales- in the hearing of a Kansas City
JrlWf riSlTIHt and a large
Salary always await an expert
,UOOicKeepen We tmacu.yon
bookkeeping tirorougfaly by
aiaiii until snxer aoseiwtty no
cnargc lor tultloaunttl wepiace
votrltvanaviscrDesitlon. Ifyou
kwUte to UetteryauraeJI, write for
'our truarantce oner ana our
ITRKK beak. COMKKCIUi
rORRKHPAXBKKCK SCHOOLS,
iouT.usu3.DMfmifir, a. a
Br flMHirJsT
MAKE POULTRY PAY
8rm JUa arTfegtaMs Cfc&tr la guana
Ui Meat tMmboaaJsvhaatlma with lorn labor
Ikaaaarot&er caller B4a SnArrbk
coatalBUg bUwVg tar oa jwatto ag Tacor i.
Kaaskfsy & Stmt;, tone 80, JelJet, !i.
Star reporter, "and yet why should I?
It Is really a very simple thingre
quires.' nothing but close observation;
For instance, it Is very easy to tell a
man's occupation. His, facial expres
sion, his actions, oven hia dress are
stamped by his dally work. You see
that man sitting opoalto us? Well,
I am just as sure as though ho had
toIJ me that he Is a barber."
"You are mistaken," replied his
friend. "That man Is a butcher."
"Impossible," exclaimed the amateur
detective. "You never saw a butcher
with slim, white hands like his."
"Perhaps not," admitted the other,
"but he is a butcher just the same"
"How do you know ho is?"
"How do I know? Why, the- scoun
drel shaved me once."
but Jack's, a boy of eight
"Why, Jack, why are you opposed to
t war?" aslrpd the teacher,, and
Jack's, surprising answer was:
" Cause, Miss Sophie, war makes
I history,, and there's mora o! that now
'an I can ever learn.," Exchange.
POLITIC,
H Jfl4HfnBvB r .BnMi vM At
A raMtla. Itfe4r. CrM. J
M - - a -- rf ' .
m ana EMMtmarr mw nratufw
u
A New Author.
The assumption of knowledge one
does not really possess sometimes gets
a person into an embarrassing predica
ment says the Chicago Chronicle. A
well-known professional man who
spends his life entirely immersed in
books has a wife who never reads any
thing more ambitious than a fashion
column,, bur she likes occasionally to
protend an Inlet est in her husband's
hobby, and so from time to time she
goes to ihe lilliary an:l takes down a
bouk just for the sake cf appearances.
"I chose a book this morning," she
remarked the other day to her hus
band, with a bright smile, "by an au
thor named Volix. Is he considered a
good writer?"
"Vollx!" said the good man In a
t puzzled tone; and, then, not liking to
, confess himself Ignorant of one of the
.books in his own library, he added,
"Tes, my dear, a. writer of very con
siderable power, who possesses a re
markable insight, into his subject"
But when she had. completed her
elaborate toilet and had gone off to
1 her garden party he sneaked around to
her bedroom to discover the boek. of,
the author of whom he had never
heard. It turned out to bo a volume
of Browning's poetry which happened
to have been bound with no name on
the back,, where it merely bore the
legend' Vol. IX.
H1 Regular Ferum! a.
The reader for the publishing house
was doing a little marketing, and the
grocer had handed him in change a
suspicious-looking dollar bill:
He looked at it absent-mindedly,
and handed it back.
"I find myself unable to use this," ho
said, "and herewith roturn it You
are not to understand, howovcr, that
it is declined on account of a lack of
merit but because for my particular
purpose it is unavailable." Chicago
, Tribune.
yf9MBn&f In CaWM flfv
fHHI le
Qamm atkkaaed Vjr
Hut
kn W. Faater, XxCJr tm
Vm. JC. ItfTMiaffdlaadlMlMitiMc
1'utt Cteasmerrfal. Mbtwhu tart Am
trALi
cms.
A&mtvAwMimzM, Tt-bock I rse to
MrttaeMM. TmWwi aoilaat.
KMM.
H.
. i
ff
Discriminating Against Americana.
The American citizen Is required to
'pay $3.23 for one kind of harness
snaps, $2.24 for one and $1.37 for an
other kind.
These same harness snaps are sold
by the American manufacturer to the
foreigner for $2.40, $1.G8 and $1 re
spectively. Hero is a difference of 35, 33 and 37
per cent in favor of the foreigner.
This Imposition upon the homo con
sumer Is made possible by a trust
breeding tariff, maintained by the re
publican party, whose campaign funds
are derived from the trusts.
Why should any American cltlzon,
other than a trust magnato or a re
publican office holder, vote with a
party that is not only responsible for
this imposition, but promises to main
tain, the policy that will perpetuate
impositions of this character?
Similar discrimination is made in re
gard' to many articles of commerce,
and will continue to be made so long
as the people continue to vote for tho
trust candidates to make and admin
ister tho laws of this country. Why
shouldn't the people cease voting for
the trusts and. do a little, voting for
, themselves.?- Jbplln Globe.
pan a
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Rnitut U.h .r IUimmIiI UUM M KII tn MM MT WIM1W
I IT tad itaadlar. 0r btMUral w. -at KuUj Tea (Ma Wmt m
Ova Xi1smI." uimi rT aiMba kua lr wu m. w i
I Mrd 11 tr wiOi piiuutua itafn tKftt, Writ tatj.l
LOFTIS BROS. . CO. H.ga, wu
OrroTaMMiaau.ruuiaCo. CHKUttO, ILU, B. ., K I
tt to 912 WKBHCT for eopTttHrletten-fer as In yomr
arm: iMme, eatfltaiand: particulars free. Address,
Ladlea' Horns Mftsazlae, PbllndelpLla, rennaylTanfK
flWBKS
beetbyl(-V7VrjAHS. WeRAV V&SA
wjjxt mors; sjuxwwrt i wmmt
Stark Mrvf. f wflna. M.: nawrrllki, N.Y
Thi Old Lint Bankirs Lift Insurance
Gta of Lincoln, Nibraska.
will write yon a policy of $1,000 and gnarantse
en its face that the net cost to yon from date
till its maturity in 20 years-will not exceed 11.00
er year at age twenty np to 6.20 per year at
age fifty-flTe. Every policy secured by , de
posit with the State of Nebraska. Send age at
earess birthday aBd gr Iliostration.
FOR i ALE ANGUS CAXTLK
40 head, hoth sexes, any age; large
herd to select from. Mail' orders a
apeclalty. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Write for catalogue and circular, with
words from customers in 17 states..
Farm 1-4 mile from town.
JNO. F. COULTER, Excello, Ma.
Why HejOprewed. War.,
At the- beginning of our war "with.
Spain a teacher of a primary class
told some of her boys about the' war
and asked all' who favored It to hold'
- up their hands.. Up went every handi
GINSENG
125,000 tRadft from one-trail acre.
Kaallr grown tbrougoout the UsKe4
h'Utiia and Canada. Itoom la year
card en to grow thousand ofd&IIftrs worth. HooteitaA
eeds for. sale, bend 4o lor poetSKe and jtet our beatt
Icttelllnscall about It. '
McDewell QlfiMa&r Qardens, Jeplla, Mlssearl.
Ananias Lyman.,
"Talk? about names!" writer a
former Washington womam who: Is
now living down In Virginia. "Ifvo
come across the best yet, and Itfs true.
A colored girlf came to me. the' other
day to aste for work. I told her I
should meed1 her in a weefr or so, and,
asked' her where I should send for her.
She told: me where she1 was- living
Tm staying;? said she,, 'with my un
cle.. His name is- Mr. Ananias Ly
maruT "-Washington Post.
Poems You. Should Ifcimmfar
Wreak, Break; Break.
Break, break, break,,
On thy cold, gray stones, Q Sea!
And I wish that my tongue could utter
Tha thoughts that arise in me,
O well for the fisherman's boy,
That he shouts with his sister at
play!.
0 well for the sailor lad,
That he sings in his boat on the
bay!
And the stately shfps go on
To the haven under the hill; -
But O for the touch of a vanish'd
hand, 4
And the sound of a voice that is still L
Break, break, break,
At the foot of the crags; O Sea!
But the tender grace of day that is
dead1
Will never come back to me.
Alfred- Temnyson.
The Up aad the Hmrt.
One-day between the Lip and! the Heart
A wordless strife arose,
Which was. expertest in the art
His purpose to disclose
The Lip called forth the vassal Tongue
And made him vouch a He!
The; slave his servile anthent sung,"
And braved the listening sky
The Heart to speak in vain essayed,
Nor could his purpose reach
His will nor voice nor tongue obeyed,
His silence was his speech.
Mark, thou- their difference, child of
earth i
While each performs his part,
Not all the lip can speak is worth
The) silence of the fieart.
John Quincy Adams.
rnrrwe nitre one beautiful, retina gold eelltalre
B nLl Puritan rota dl&raoad rJne.umd'irold sat.
t-,,"1"tOTn.forw!Ulmr30 packages Uarftcltt PertsT
Oura at & cents a package Finest finality; eejr sale;
b'end name; we mall Ruin. Ytlum sold tend iaonfy;
we mall ring. 7th year. Hundreds of taoueands
pleased, customer. Catalog-, free stumlaa: HUiwterds
premiums. Garfield uum.Uo. Iloz.70 Meadvllle, Jtfa.
$75
Xeraek au4 Xxvmsm: no azserTeaee
MA.j. ...... - -- - ..-
STUDY LAW AT HOME
.Prepare for the Bit or for adrweed. eUndinr In a
your own home. Ooarsee of etadr. text books,
practice work and Hoot Court earae as In reeweat
school. Superior to studying la a law office. One
student writes: "Have learned more law In three
weeks la yonr echool than I learned In four zaontha
In alaw office. KegnlaeOolleffeCkmrre (2 yeare),
Poflt-Graduitte Course t year) and Buelnese Law
Course (US weeks). Endorsed by the beucb and bar.
JorfalljagUealargaiiilraer
CHI0M0' OORRESPONDINeC SCHOOL UW,
Kflr Waciu hi&ftaa.,
Ranfer Sraad Hotel
Seattle,, Wash.
Staropeaa. Plan: Batea9f.09aadBpwareL
K?.roBa. 7romwitk hath, ifisasjs
CatM la. tke nortkweat; moled, for tka
psllar exceUesea ita CnJsla.
Iiikr &rA Bttd Ci.
H. B. DUNBAR, PresMaat Mflfr.
I1
Don't Struggle
Almg WiUMMta Pwar.
At rm mevw irasDHMPw
WEBSTER
VaWttsMl flAUMs
ENGINE
eaMreiy lr eoatateei,
BMDTgrjstMotuk.
er, salllsr, savsr, 4airy
BUSU MS. VHU.
Iywer Costa ealrS tescsaJeaerfcoyraale,
HB)Die. wbohii. j " rIT72ET"
1 ei verweau aaa nonmtmi 1 mshwi
iMaUsdfrM.
WEIfTERMFt.M .
M72.WtfthtrattOkSoav Uto.
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