6
The Commoner.
rVol. a, No. 2a.
WHETHER COnnON OR NOT.
Content
Littlo bit o' flour in th' bottom o' th'
bin,
Flitch o' bacon hangin' t' th' rafter;
Pair o rosy babies niakin' lota o' din,
Four walls ringln' with their laugh
ter. Plonty work t' do f'r V keep th' wolf
away,
A littlo stock o' catin' in th' larder.
Kcop a-foolin' cheerful an' workin' day
by day
Whon troublo comes Jus' work a lit
tlo harder.
Littlo bit o' cottago a-standin' neat an'
trim,
Mornin' glorios 'cross th' window
growin';
Eager facos watchin' as th' day is
growin' dim
An' olantin' sun is longer shadows
throwln'.
Watchin' an' a-waitin t' greot mo
whon I como, .
Ilosy lips their proclous kissos
givin'.
Such a grootin' waitin' f'r a fellow at
his homo
Surely makes his llfo woll worth th'
livln'.
Precious words o' promise f'r readin'
ev'ry night
Point t' rest across th' river Jor
dan; Soarch its blessed pages an' learn jus'
what is right,
An' try almighty hard t' livo ac
cordin'. Love's standin' waitin' at th' little
garden gate,
Bvonin' wind a blowln' baby tresses.
Ain't no cause t' murmur or grumble
;, at. my fate
Ho who works his best th' good Lord
blesses.
Our Oratorical Bureau.
The campaign of 1902 is upon us,
follow citizens. Soon the campaign
orator will bo abroad in the land, and
passion will be torn to tatters, tho old
Hag will bo waved aloft, the racuous
voico of the campaign speller will be
heard in tho commonwealth.
For many months tho republican na
tional committee has maintained a
press bureau at Washington, and this
bureau furnishes ready-made editor
ials for tho republican newspapers
throughout tho country. This is all
right, for It relieves, the editors of re
publican nowsnanors of tho task of
thinking, which is a good thing for
two reasons: First, thinking is not
conducive to tho writing 'of editor
ials calculated to benefit the republi
can cause; second, by having tho edi
torials manufactured at headquarters
there is no danger of the editorials
crossing, as would be the caso if each
individual editor endeavored to write
his own republican odltorials.
But so far the republican national
committee has discriminated against
tho republican spell-binders. While
providing editors with ready-mado
editorials it has not established a bu
reau for tho purpose of providing ready-made
campaign speeches. It is
with a view to rectifying this unjust
discrimination that this department
has established a republican campaign
speech bureau. Below will be found
the skeleton framework of a few cam
paign speeches suitable for republi
can orators. Care must be taken to
select a speech that will fit the com
munity in which the speaker appears.
For instance, it would be unwise to
use a speech denouncing pauper labor
while addressing miners in tho an
thracite coal regions, and equally un
wise to advocate branoh banks and
asset currency outside the pale of Wall
.stroot influence. If the g. o. p. spell
binders manifest nroner nnnrflntnHnn
of. this department's interest in their
wolfaro other skeleton speeches will
bo furnished from tlmo to time.
SPEECH UPHOLDING THE PHIL
IPPINE POLICY OF THE AD
MINISTRATION AND THROW
ING THE HARPOON INTO
THOSE WHO OPPOSE IT.
Follow Citizens. (Never forget that
introductory.) We are offorlng tho
Filipinos. Blessings of liberty
Gallant army that bears aloft the
starry banner of the free and carries
blessings . Traitorous attacks oh our
bravo soldiors . Sons of the men who
wore tho blue march side by side with
tho sons of the men- who wore tho
gray . Tho blessings of Christian
ity . Traitorous hands shall not turn
back our glorious march of destiny .
Beneath tho folds of that glorious
flag . Manifest destiny demands that
wo give tho Filipinos the largest meas
ure of self-government consistent with
their wolfaro and our interest . Duty
demands. Wo only seek to benev
olently assimilato .
(Play up tho old flag scone strong,
taking care to have a flag where you
can touch its waving folds and work
in plonty of theatricals.)
SPEECH UPHOLDING THE NA
TIONAL HONOR AND ROAST
ING THE REPUDIATORS AND
ASSAILANTS OF THE NATION'3
CREDIT.
Friends and Fellow Citizens. (Ac
company introductory with wave of
right hand.) Honor of the nation .
.Money good all over tho world .
Soiled hands ofthose who would at-
tack nation's credit . Insane repu
diationists . Mountains have yielded
up their store of yellow metal .
Providence . Channels of commerce
congested with. Nation's credit .
Gold the money of tho world . Rock
of our national honor . Wild-eyed
silver fanatics. Crazy theorists .
Blessings of Providence . Credit "of
tho nation. Those who would Mex
icanize our republic . Par with
China. Fifty-cent dollars. Flat
monoy . Sliver mine owners .
Stores of gold unlocked by far-seeing
eyes of republican statesmanship .
Uncle Sam tho banker of tho world .
(Carefully avoid reference' to the
Fowler bill, and if interrupted by an
opponont have some retort handy that
will tickle those who bellevo as you
do, but will not be a reply to the ques
tion Never try to honestly answer
questions of a bimetallist. Abuse him.
Whoop it up for national honor and
national credit.)
SPEECH ADVOCATING PROTEC
TION TO AMERICAN INDUS
TRIES AND SCALPING THOSE
WHO ADVOCATE UNRESTRICT
ED TRADE WITH THE WORLD.
My Follow Countrymen. (That will
hit 'em hard if used with the right
emphasis.) Let well enough alone .
Full dinner pail. Pauper labor of
Europe. Soup houses. Markets
of tho world . Reaching out to cap
ture the trade of the world . Busy
hum of industry. The smoke from
a thousand furnaces . Full dinner
pail again. Days of panic and dis
aster. Friends of tho workingman .
Ignus fatuus of free trade. Pauper
made goods of Europe (play tha
strong). Flag floats over happiest
workingmen . Banner of the free.
Grand old republican party . True
friend of tho wage-worker1 . Let well
enough alone . Four years more of
the full dinner pail.
(Bear in mind that this- speech must
not be aimed at the heads of the peo
ple. Its billot Is tho stomach. Work
up a good sweat and weep hot, scald
ing tears at tho thought that Ameri
can workingmen should bo forced to
tho level of tho pauper laborers of
Europe.)
These are mero outlines. However,
if proper care is used in filling out
the outlines hero presented, good, aver-
ago republican campaign speeches will
bo tho result. 'In view of recent events
in Cuba care should be taken to avoid
all reference to the flag "staying put."
Be careful in making quotations from
dead and gone republican leaders, es
pecially from Lincoln and McKlnley.
The safest plan is to quote nothing,
and say. nothing calculated to make
your hearers think. .
Spell-binders using these outlines
will confer a favor on tho manage
ment by reporting results.
Anxious.
"Fellow citizens!" shrieked the can
didate for the legislature, "it is writ
ten in the book of fate that where our
glorious flag has been put, it will stay
put. I read those pages and I see
many things. I see our glorious des
tiny pictured out I see "
"Say," interrupted the littlo man In
the rear of the hall, "look again and
see if it's writ, there that you're goin'
to pay me that three dollars I loaned
you two years ago last September."
His Sleeping Soul.
De country seek do coolin spot
Whar all de shadders creep;
But de sun ho shine so sweet en hot
Ho put my soul ter sleep! '
En I des can't sow or reap
On do plain en mountain steop;
De sun ho shine so sweet en hot
Ho put my soul ter sleep!
He lak a furnace, way up dar,
Set in do blazln' skies
Whar I kin read my title cl'ar
Wid my perspirin' eyes!
En I des can't sow or reap
L On de plain en mountain steep, .
Fer de sun he shine so sweet en hot
He put my soul ter, sleep!
Atlanta Constitution.
Brain Leaks.
Tho doubter worries; the believer
hopes.
When the homes are right the streets
are boyless. -
Patient plodding puts petty schem
ing to flight. :
The faith of the mother is the refuge
of the wayward.
Trusting your own strength i3 .to,
lean on a broken reed.
Flattery has ruined more men and
women than adversity.
The man who accepts defeat Is al
ways talking about fate.
The applause of tho wicked removes
no stones from your path.
Nations, like men, exert their great
est influence by example, not by force.
Some 'men spend enough 'time
mourning over defeat to win glorious
victories.
Some men train their consciences to
approve everything they do and .then
plead it as an oxcuse.
Employing choirs to do your singing
is very much like .employing men to
live righteously for you.
Trying to spread the gospel of peace
with bayonet and sword is like trying
to wash charcoal white. t
Some men give to the poor for the
purpose of lending to the Lord with
the expectation of securing usurious
interest.
The man who is always boasting
that his word is as good as his bond
usually experiences difficulty in induc
ing men to accept either.
Will M. Maupin.
across tho Pacific for our spokesman
tonight."
"Oh, no," replied Minister Wu,
promptly; "you Americans go acrops
tho Pacific for your islands, not for
your spokesmen." Pittsburg Dispatch.
An Unfortunate Example.
In his speech yesterday Senator
Clapp suggested that the good faith of
the United States exhibited in the es
tablishment of tho Cuban republic
should be used as an example in con
vincing the Philippines that tho Amer-
l leans intend ultimately to establish a
government in the islands which will
inure to the benefit of the natives.
Whether the dissemination of reports
of the methods pursued in Cuba would;
most conciliate or irritate the Philip
pines is a question. But it is not Im
probable that the Oriental ex-subjects
of Spain might find ground for com
plaint in the fact that their treatment
by the Americans was so different from
that given to the Caribbean subje'ets.
Laying aside the absende of the water
cure and orders to make tho country a
howling wilderness tho Filipinos will
naturally inquire why the Cubans
should be granted self-government and
they be refused. Without discussing
the capability of the Filipinos for In
dependence or the possibility or ad
visability of a Philippine republic on
the lines of the republic of Cuba it
will not be surprising if the news
from Havana has anything but a pleas
ing effect upon the late followers of
Aguinaldo. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Tho Inimitable Wu.
At a recent debate at the Columbian
university, in Washington, tho gentle
men selected to act as judges were
Justice Harlan of the United States
supreme court, ex-Senator Chandler,
president of the Spanish claims com
mission, and the Chinese minister,
Wu-Ting-Fang. At the conclusion of
the debate the judges retired to con
sider the arguments. W&en a decision
was reached It was found the execu
tlvo committee had neglected to desig
nate which of the three'gontlemen was
to act as chairman.
"Woll," said Mr. Chandler, "I pro
pose that Justice Harlan announce
the decision, as that is part of his reg
ular business, anyway."
"Yes," remarked tho judge; "that's
true; still I think we ought to go
CATCHING
The Coffee Habit BroetU Trouble
It is quite commonly the case that
both husband and wife are somewhat
similarly troubled with coffee drink
ing. A lady writes and, after giving de
scription of her husband's relief from
coffee dyspepsia and general nervous
trouble, says, "I was almost as bad
as he, having the headache nearly ev
ery day and was nervous and weak,
did not sleep well, was pale and thin
and had a bad complexion.
When. I found how much good Pos-
turn Coffee was doing Husband I con
cluded to use it and I tell you life is
altogether a different thing. I eat ari-1
sleep well and look like a different
woman. My usual weight for years
was from 98 to 100 pounds, I now
weigh 108 pounds an1 everyone tells
mo how much better I am looking.
I had some friends who did not like
Postum, but knowing it was .because
wiojr urn uut dou it long enough l
made some at their house one day, and
tney agree with me that Postum is, a
delicious beverage, and . while, of
course, the flavor ant taste is pleasing;
and we are glad. Ppstum does suit IJ3;
that way, tho great, advantage is la
the wonderful, bounding health that
we have recovered." Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.